Deadpool Vs. Equestria

Issue #6

Previously on Deadpool Vs. Bronies, the Mane 6 did this... kinda.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQKKj_qeOBQ

Kaboom.
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Meanwhile, in Equestria...

A rabbit sat on a chair, in some sort of underground room, with a table surrounded by other chairs. That rabbit's name... was Angel Bunny.

[What, did you think we'd forgotten about them?]

Shut up, you're meant to be on Earth with Deadpool. Go back to Earth, Earthling.

[...Damn. Brutal.]

An explanation is in order. Angel Bunny, in this universe, is a member and de facto leader of the Woodland Six, an organisation of six woodland animals, usually those that live around Fluttershy's cottage. The other members of Angel's team are Ms. Rabbit, Cutie Mouse, Fuzzy Ferret, Hyper Hamster, and Tim, who, incidentally, is a cat.

They have taken it upon themselves to make sure that nothing too bad will happen to their caretaker, Fluttershy, and, by extension, her friends and the town of Ponyville. Unbeknownst to the ponies, they have a rather strong sense of justice. The only problem is, sometimes, they disagree with a few things.

Angel waited boredly for the group to arrive. He checked the tiny little mini-watch he invented. One day, he'd seen a pony with a watch, which he knew could tell the time. Because he didn't want to look at the clock in Fluttershy's cottage anymore (It was a cuckoo clock, and it scares him every time), he decided to make a watch of his own. Unfortunately, he didn't make the correct adjustments, so now it's too small, and he needs to make a bigger watch. He forgot how he made it, though, so he's going to have to spend another 5 hours thinking about how to make a watch. And he doesn't have 5 hours. ...Well, maybe he does, but he doesn't want to admit it.

Eventually, Fuzzy Ferret walked out of a revolving door, and Tim crawled through a pet door. Pet doors are pretty decent, aren't they? Fuzzy and Tim sat on their respective chairs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAAVIgnSwl4

"...Is anyone else coming?" Angel asked.

"No, not really," Tim replied, "Ms. Rabbit has a cold, Hyper's lost that little teddy bear toy, Cutie's helping him find it, and Ferret thinks he has rabies..."

Angel raised an eyebrow. It was common sense Fuzzy would think he had rabies: His job as conspiracy theorist had made him paranoid to the point of mental unstability, but there was one thing we all noticed...

"If he thinks he has rabies, why is he here?" Angel asked.

Fuzzy didn't really answer, he just looked around the place quickly.

"Knowing Fuzzy, he probably wants us to suffer his fate too..." Tim mused.

But I don't want to be a schizophrenic... Angel complained to himself.

"Okay... well, we should probably talk about what happened yesterday..." Angel said. Tim nodded, and Fuzzy kinda nodded, but he looked kinda desperate too.

"Deadpool and his friend left... finally... and then, Lyra Heartstrings, ever the human obsessor, followed them..." Angel recapped.

"That's kinda harsh," Tim said, "She's not that obsessed."

"Why'd she follow them, then?" Angel asked.

"...For science?" Fuzzy suggested.

Science of the Ferrets, sure...

"So, in order to get her back, Fluttershy and her friends have gone to this 'Earth' to save her. Sound right so far?" Angel asked, in case anyone had a different version of the story.

"No, it doesn't..." Fuzzy objected. As usual.

Angel grinned. It was a sort of unpleasant and depressing grin. The type of grin that doesn't convey happiness, but more like he's seen it all before and is desperately trying not to lose his sanity. Or, to be truthful, a sarcastic grin. Sorry for the depressing image, folks.

"Really?" Angel asked, "Tell us... what's your version of the story?"

"There are aliens..." Fuzzy began, "And they look like ponies... but they just made those bodies up... and they abducted Miss Heartstrings... and are intending to get one of their own to become an exact double of Heartstrings, ones devoid of emotion, and then they will be back to identify more of us with their pointing and their screeching..."

Angel's expression was blank. Tim's was slightly confused.

"Isn't that... Invasion of the Pony Snatchers?" Angel asked.

"...Oh. You watched that?" Fuzzy asked.

"No... I saw the ending, and when I tried to watch the beginning, it was all ruined for me... it was funny the first time, but understanding how others felt is gonna be harder now..."

"...Can we... get to why we're here?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, sure," Angel agreed, then proceeded to stand on his chair.

"Really? You're gonna stand on the chairs now?" Tim asked.

"...Why not?" Angel inquired, confused, "I'm being... dramatic."

"Why?"

"...Uh... W-why not? You're making this difficult..."

"Sorry... just be realistic about this, please..." Tim begged.

"...Fine..." Angel said, slumping down on his chair. "I propose we go outside and yadda yadda, bladda bladia..."

"...What was that?" Tim asked.

"That is the sound... of being 'realistic', Tim. I don't feel very motivated. My plan doesn't feel like it's worth much, and now I'm nearly depressed. Maybe we'll all just sit down here, and wonder, 'What in the hay is Angel Bunny thinking right now?' And I'll be like, 'Life... don't talk to me about li-"

"I get the picture!" Tim snapped, "Go stand up if you want!"

Grinning, Angel triumphantly stood up, "I propose..." He said, with much more enthusiasm, as if he was about to lead an army to fight a group of badgers annoying him with their chanting of mushrooms, "We go outside... and we take what supplies we can get while Fluttershy and her friends are gone!"

"A suicide mission?" Fuzzy inquired, "Whatever for? What's the point in spreading rabies to everything?"

"None of us have rabies, Fuzzy," Angel told him.

"Angel..." Tim said, "How do you suppose we... GET... these supplies? It's only those six that have left... not their friends... We could take Fluttershy's supplies, but that's like being the worst lodger ever, because she gives us food to eat anyway... Twilight has a baby dragon, Applejack has her Apple family, Rarity has her sister, Pinkie has those Cake people and Rainbow Dash has... ... ... uh... Scootaloo, I guess."

Angel shrugged, and shook his head. "That's not the only thing they have..." Angel began...

"Oh, brilliant. More things that can stop us that I don't know about..." Tim mused almost depressedly.

{Is that a word?}

Go away, Earthling.

{Harsh.}

"They have... pets..." Angel said. Tim raised an eyebrow. "And for the record, I don't think we can get stuff from Rainbow Dash's clouds... so we can cross her off the list," Angel added.
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Faster than it transitioned to night time, back on Earth, the sun was shining, life was continuing, and lawns were mowed daily, and neighbours greeted neighbours with a neighbourly "Hey!"

"Hey!" Lyra yelled at Deadpool while he was asleep.

Deadpool struggled to avoid regaining consciousness.

"G-got a... big bag of crabs... ... ... gonna put them in my mouth..."

Lyra's eyes narrowed, and so she walked over to Deadpool and slapped him in the face. Deadpool recoiled in pain, and Lyra felt giddy, as this was the first time she used her hands to strike someone. Then she remembered why she was angry.

"What was up with last night?" She asked.

"I don't exactly know what you're talking about..." Deadpool replied, rubbing his nose, "Techinically, I think there's be things DOWN with last night, seeing how we're not up and at them, we're instead staying in, down and away from them... y'know?"

"You were playing that stereo all through the night, remember?" Weasel said, walking into the room.

"It calms me..." Deadpool defended.

"Axel F is a movie-turned-into-dance tune, Deadpool, it's not meant to help you get to sleep," Weasel told him.

"Well, it does anyway..."

"And after that, you put something else on..." Lyra said...

"Oh, right. I woke up in the middle of the night, so I put on Jack Black singing the national anthem."

"How? That's not on CD..." Weasel said.

"It's not? ...Well... I must have imagined it..." Deadpool decided.

"You can't have," Lyra said, "You changed it, remember?"

"I don't know what's real anymore... one day there's this person who looks Victorian helping me through this floating place, then I kill Santa Claus 'cause he wasn't nice to her, then later, I find out that the Victorian woman was my daughter, and it turns out that in another dimension, I'm that Santa Claus I killed..."

"I'm sure you just got caught up in one of your video games, Deadpool..." Weasel said.

"So, do I get to go outside for once?" Lyra asked.

"Yeah, sure thing!" Deadpool said, "I'll just go get your disguise," and so he walked off to get it.

"...Can't I NOT wear the disguise?" Lyra asked.

"Uh... you'd uh... stick out, wouldn't you?" Weasel asked.

"I don't see why people would know who I am..." Lyra said, "But okay. I'll go with it," She sighed, "For now." She looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Something on your mind?" Weasel asked.

Lyra nodded, thinking for a few seconds before nodding again, with a curious look on her face.

"D'you think I should get a job?"
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To be continued in the next issue!

{Why did this have two cliffhangers?}

You know that part where Deadpool has a sombrero?

{What about it?}

That's going into the next one.

{Why?}

Because I can, and it is me who is Author.

{Oh yeah? Well... Shut up...}

[Are you gonna bring someone from the last fic back?]

Why yes. I am.

{Make it a good one.}

So let it be said...

So let it be done.

{Shut up.}