Deadpool Vs. Bronies

Issue #8

Previously on Deadpool Vs. Bronies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBGTSJhi0EQ

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Deadpool waited outside the false factory of false light-bulbs with a false person. He remained completely oblivious to the fact that Lyra was losing her confidence in him, and was keeping to herself, as she was aware she was in the presence of a mad, dangerous and possibly hostile man who wears tights.

Eventually, Weasel walked out of the factory, after he had a brief conversation with the rather useful gentleman who calls himself Live Light. {He's totally a self-insert.} No, you fool, he is not.

[I spake!]

I don't care.

Weasel walked over to Deadpool.

"What took you so long?" Deadpool asked. "It felt longer than the wait for my game to get the box art..."

"That's because you don't have a video game, Deadpool. The only way you could possibly get a video game is if you threatened somebody." Weasel said, and he was totally correct, according to High Moon Studios. And before Deadpool could explain to him about his video game, which would give him a chance of utterly destroying the Fourth Wall, maybe ending the universe as we know it (Or he'll just confuse the hell out of everybody), there was a rather angry sounding female voice that cried,

"MONSIEUR SPARKLE!"

"Did somebody say Stephanie Meyer?" Deadpool asked out loud.

"I think they said 'Monsieur Sparkle,' Deadpool," Weasel pointed out, "Maybe Twilight and the other ponies travelled here to look for us, and they have some French idiot who thinks Monsieur means Ma'am."

Lyra was willing to take that chance, because she immediately ran off in the direction of the sound. Weasel ran after her, while Deadpool, feeling kinda bored and in no hurry, just walked over to them. As he managed to catch up, he could see Lyra, looking all disappointed (Failing to notice she was still afraid) and Weasel looking absolutely baffled.

"I am absolutely baffled right now..." Weasel admitted.

Deadpool decided to take a look at the scene, and what he saw was a rather young brunette woman with long hair, wearing some sort of black home-made clothing that made her look suspiciously thief-like, yelling at some common man who looked frightened and confused. All the equipment the woman had was some sort of grappling hook and a grapefruit knife. There was also a cat, and it somehow seemed obvious that it belonged to the woman.

"...No, it's not Stephanie Meyer, it's just some mental patient who's probably been at an ordinary hospital," Deadpool explained/guessed, "I'm surprised they let her go though, she's rather... attractive."

Weasel looked a bit mad, "Deadpool, now's not the time to be admiring someone's beauty, we need to get Lyra home as soon as possible, she looks really scare-"

"Weasel," Deadpool interrupted.

"WHAT!?"

"Your shoelaces are gone."

Weasel's eye twitched, as if he had just been given some sort of insult that sucked. He believed Deadpool meant to say 'Your shoelaces are untied.' He gave Deadpool a doubtful look, then proceeded to look at his shoelaces, just to humour him. And... he indeed found that the shoelaces were gone.

"I... what... how?" Weasel asked.

"I dunno, I was too busy admiring." Deadpool said.

"T-the lady took the shoelaces," Lyra said, "It was kinda cool how she could do that... but... I dunno why."

Deadpool and Weasel looked up to 'Monsieur Sparkle,' who was tip-toeing away from the group.

"HEY!" Deadpool yelled. Monsieur Sparkle froze in place, then turned around to look at them, noticing that they noticed. "You're lookin' GOOOOD!" Deadpool commented, with two thumbs up.

Monsieur Sparkle took a moment to consider what was happening, then walked off.

"HEY!" Weasel yelled. Monsieur Sparkle froze in place again, then slowly turned around, and went into a fabulous pose, expecting a compliment again. "Give me back my shoelaces!" Weasel yelled, making Monsieur Sparkle lose her confidence.

"Who is this girl anyway?" Lyra asked.

The common man who was being yelled at answered, "Her name is Miss Yink, b-" Before he was interrupted by the girl shrieking,

"MONSIEUR SPARKLE!"

"I don't care what your name is, I need a number!" Deadpool said.

Sparkle's expression deadpanned, and she shook her head.

"Can I have my shoelaces back, please?" Weasel asked, "I really need them so I can walk around without losing a shoe, and these are my favourite shoes, so-"

"I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions!" Monsieur Sparkle deadpanned, before proceeding to walk up to Weasel and punch him in the gut. Weasel instantly fell to the ground.

{And that's the first thing she's said all day that had more than two or three words.}

"Uh... I have no idea what's going on..." Lyra said, "Why is there a girl with two names stealing shoelaces from people?

{Because apparently, our good Author decided that his Shoelaces blogs should appear in here, even though this is set in the Marvel Universe, and his Shoelaces blogs happen everywhere.}

"Not everywhere..." Deadpool said.

"Actually, I do steal shoelaces everywhere," Monsieur Sparkle corrected, "For I am the Great Shoelace Thief of... um... coughobviouscoughhelpville!"

"I think I've been there once," Deadpool stated.

"...Wh-what...?" Weasel wheezed, still recovering from the punch to the gut. Then Monsieur Sparkle erupted into a fake coughing spasm, running to the left and right while making coughing sounds, until she 'weakly' stumbled over to Deadpool to fall in his arms, only, he didn't have his arms out at all, so she just fell on the ground next to his feet. Deadpool scratched his head, before realizing he was supposed to catch her, and quickly picked her up.

"T-take me..." Monsieur Sparkle whispered, "To your leader..."

"I'm my own leader, babe." Deadpool replied.

"...Uh... Take me to your leader's house, I meant to say..." She improvised.

"Okay!" Deadpool agreed, carrying her to the direction of his apartment.

"Hey!" Lyra yelled, "Why're we taking her with us?"

"You say something?" Deadpool asked.

Lyra recoiled in fear. She was pretty sure that he meant to be threatening. She didn't seem to notice Deadpool was having trouble hearing because Monsieur Sparkle was trying to figure out what his mask was made of, and her hand was covering his ear. And because she didn't notice this, she grinned nervously. "N-nothing!"

"Uhh... alright!" Deadpool said, cheerfully, before continuing to walk to his apartment. Lyra helped Weasel up to his feet while he continued to clutch his stomach.

"Why didn't you... use magic to stop it, or something?" He asked, before coughing in pain.

"Oh... uh, sorry," Lyra apologized sheepishly, "I'm kinda trying to get used to using human appendages... and the red guy scares me..."

"Yeah, he scares me too..." Weasel said, "You get used to it after a while. At least you haven't been in the box." He then walked over with Deadpool. Lyra swallowed, hoping that this 'Box' wasn't any bit dangerous.

{It's obviously dangerous. Weasel just said it like it was a bad thing.}

[It's just a box, it's not gonna bite you!]

"Uhh... where are you guys going?" Lyra looked around, and noticed that man who was yelled at by Monsieur Sparkle was still there. Lyra thought of explaining it, but felt it would be better if she didn't trouble this man any longer, and let him go home.

"Bye!" Lyra said, trying to sound as happy as possible, then she walked over to Deadpool hesitantly. Meanwhile, Monsieur Sparkle's cat meowed, as it walked off somewhere else, looking for the next issue.
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Meanwhile at Deadpool's Apartment...

The Element Bearers, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack all waited in the apartment's living room.

"I can't put up with this place any longer... it's so filthy..." Rarity muttered, cringing.

"This place is really small, and it smells funny. I can't practise my routines or take a nice nap on a cloud..." Rainbow Dash complained.

Twilight sighed, looking around the place. She noticed Pinkie Pie was wearing glasses, and writing stuff down in a notebook. She raised an eyebrow, and, against her better judgement, felt like asking why.

"Pinkie, why do you look like you're busy doing something important?"

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, so, to ensure the safety of those surrounding me, I balance work and play, and when I'm not in Ponyville, my work is thinking of new songs!" Pinkie replied enthusiastically.

"Hmm... alright." Twilight replied.

"Wanna hear how it's going so far?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight thought for a moment. It couldn't hurt... "Alright, what do you have so far?"

"Round and around in a perfect-perfect

Wait for my Stop Signal!"

Pinkie recited, pulling out a red octagon-shaped stop signal from somewhere. Then she frowned. "Needs a lot of work..." She decided, before focusing her attention onto the notebook.

Now, as you all know, when things are quiet, it's easier to hear quiet noises. So naturally, they should have heard the footsteps of a person approaching Deadpool's apartment room. However, just about all of the time they spent there, it had been so boring, waiting for someone who isn't very boring, that no matter what they heard outside, it just sounded like the same sort of footsteps people have when they walk around the place.

However, it wasn't so boring that they were unable to tell someone was approaching, so, obviously, they listened intently.

"The noise is getting closer..." Twilight whispered.

"What do we do?" Fluttershy squeaked.

Twilight looked around the place. "...Let's find some place to hide..." Everyone nodded, and began to look for a place to hide. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie hid in Weasel's room, while Applejack and Rarity went to the guest room. Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked around the place. There were hardly any decent hiding places around the place. They couldn't hide under any of the furniture, especially not the glass table (Which was recently shattered, and clumsily put together by Deadpool. It was almost easy to tell).

As they heard the doorknob turn, Twilight quickly grabbed Rainbow Dash's arm, and her horn began to glow. Within seconds, they were invisible.

The door finally opened, allowing Twilight and Rainbow Dash to look at the apartment intruder. There was a male human standing at the door, and from his attire, Twilight had to take a guess and assume that Deadpool was familiar with this man, because he was wearing some sort of unique clothing. It was a blue spandex suit with white trim and protective armour padding, with a similarly coloured hood over a skull mask.

The man looked around the apartment, with unnatural yellow eyes scanning everything. Not seeing Twilight or Rainbow Dash, he immediately headed for one of the doors inside the apartment. Twilight watched him, as she realized that now, the other girls are in danger. She used her magic to levitate the man's foot, attempting to trip him up, however, as he fell, he quickly somersaulted, and landed safely. He stood up, and looked behind him.

"Who's there!?" He demanded.

Twilight and Rainbow Dash kept still. The man looked all around the room.

"Hiding, are we..." He growled. He reached into his utility belt, and took out a device that looked odd to Twilight. It was like some sort of small pad, only it seemed to be made of some material obviously undiscovered in Equestria. He spoke into it... "Scan the room for invisible hostiles..."

Rainbow Dash had to stop herself from gasping, and Twilight could only look in horror, as they both realized what this meant...

And suddenly, someone teleported into the room in a minty green flash. Twilight and Rainbow Dash would've been happy to see her, if not for the current situation. Lyra Heartstrings quickly ran to the door and locked it, looking away from it. The only problem now was that she was staring directly at the man's skull mask, unable to see Twilight or Rainbow Dash. She grinned nervously, and quickly opened the lock and hid on the other side.

Rainbow growled, and charged after the man, letting go of Twilight and becoming visible, to guarantee Lyra's safety. And then, almost as if this was all too familiar to the intruder, he vaulted over Rainbow Dash, and she ran into the door. After recovering, she turned around, ready to make another attempt, but was hit by the door as it opened, and ended up with a sore nose.

Deadpool walked in, holding Monsieur Sparkle as if he'd saved her from some giant dragon, looking at the skull-faced man who isn't supposed to be at his house.

[Three guesses who this is.]

{No, one guess. Deadpool can't possibly fail to recognize this guy. I mean, he's gonna recognize Cable, Sandy, Outlaw, Agent X, how's he gonna forget about good ol'-}

"Ghost Rider, what're you doing in my apartment?"

{YOU FOOL!}

Taskmaster stared at Deadpool. He wasn't even going to bring his face to his palm on this one. It wouldn't release him from the stupidity. Eventually, he dignified Deadpool with a response, "I've come to collect my pay, Deadpool," He said, aiming a gun at Deadpool.

"...Uh, alright. I didn't know Ghost Rider was a merc, bu-"

{Who else do you know who has a skull for a face!?}

"Wait... I know who you are now!" He realized.

Taskmaster didn't exactly care if Deadpool knew who he was.

"Death, how did you get so manly!?" Deadpool cried, confused and missing her female figure.

{...Oh, my fu-}

"Uhh... Wade..." Weasel said, from behind Deadpool, "I'd drop the lady if I were you... Taskmaster doesn't look too friendly here..."

"Yes... uh... Taxmeister sure doesn't..." Deadpool agreed. I have no idea who this is... He let go of Monsieur Sparkle, and she fell to the floor painfully. Slowly, she stood up, but, before she could give Deadpool some sort of... intense... squint, the floor seemed to have had enough being a part of Deadpool's life, and decided to break, causing Monsieur Sparkle to fall down a few floors.

Lyra appeared behind Deadpool, cautiously looking at the floor from over Deadpool's shoulder. "Are you gonna go help her?" She asked.

"Nah, she'll get up on her own," Deadpool replied, "The ladies always come back for more."

"Couldn't afford better housing, Deadpool?" Taskmaster asked, chuckling menacingly.

"Shut up, you don't know me!" Deadpool yelled.

Taskmaster sighed in irritation. "Nice knowing ya," he growled, before firing a single bullet at Deadpool. It hit him right in the head. Deadpool raised a hand to object, but fell down. Taskmaster walked over to his incapacitated body, pulled out a camera, and took a picture of it. "See you next Tuesday," he said, ignoring Weasel and Lyra's traumatised expression.

Lyra found it difficult to form words. She didn't really know what kind of weapon Taskmaster used, but Deadpool looked... well... dead. "I-is he..."

"Give him a few minutes..." Weasel said. Almost as soon as he said it, Deadpool groaned, sitting up, rubbing his head, and sitting up.

"Well, that was fun! Now, excuse me while I go dig out this bullet from my brain!" Deadpool said, cheerily, walking off into one of the other rooms.

"...Wh-what happened?" Lyra asked, not really sure how she felt about this. She wasn't intending to let herself be affected by all this, but this was too much.

"I think someone got mad at Deadpool and asked Taskmaster to kill him," Weasel explained, "But Deadpool doesn't die so easily, so, I guess 'Tasky' was feeling a bit lazy, pretty much knocked out Deadpool, and took a picture so his client would be satisfied, I guess..."

"But he said he'd see Deadpool next Tuesday..." Lyra said, "How many times has this happened?"

"I haven't been here that often, really," Weasel admitted. After that, Deadpool walked out of the bathroom, looking nearly good as new.

"...Can I leave now?" Lyra asked.

"Let's all just enter the room and talk about this," Deadpool said, "Otherwise, I get the feeling the door's gonna suffocate someone."

They all walked away from the entrance door, and into the room. Deadpool sat on the couch, while Weasel and Lyra just stood away from them. Monsieur Sparkle eventually did find her way up, waving at them from the door, and walking in, closing the door, revealing someone had been hiding behind the door, and looked like she really needed to breathe. It was.......................... HUMAN RAINBOW DASH!

{It was... Ellipses... PERSON!}

I just wanted to do that...

{Well, don't!}

"I think someone ate too many Skittles," Deadpool commented.

"Rainbow Dash?" Lyra asked, with much hope in her voice. Rainbow Dash wheezed, unable to answer due to door suffocation. She just attempted a mild wave. "Did anyone else come with you?"

The sound of a clearing throat was audible. Everyone looked in the direction of the sound, and, losing their invisibility spell, appeared Twilight Sparkle.

"Oh, THERE'S Stephenie Meyer!" Deadpool said.

"Twilight Sparkle..." She corrected, not in the mood for any funny stuff.

"EGAD!" Monsieur Sparkle boomed. "Somebody shares my title!?"

"...Your... title?" Twilight asked incredulously, already disliking this girl who obviously has problems.

"They call me... Monsieur Sparkle... the great Shoelace Thief!" She declared proudly.

"As in Horseshoes?" Twilight asked.

"No, no, no!" Monsieur Sparkle replied, "As in, SHOES! For people with feet!"

"Of course... Deadpool was kind enough to tell me things about human anatomy..." Twilight remembered, before scowling at Deadpool, "But he wasn't kind enough to return Lyra Heartstrings back, that's for sure!"

"Yes I was!" Deadpool countered, "I just didn't do that, that's all..."

"We tried to do it," Weasel said, "But Lyra wanted a bit of a look around the place..."

"That's true," Lyra admitted, "I'm not sure about it anymore, though... I mean, maybe if I was away from this psycho..."

"Hey," Deadpool interjected, pointing at Lyra, "I'm not as insane as you'd think."

{But he's more insane than you'd hope.}

"But still, don't you think it's time we brought her back?" Weasel asked.

"I have no idea who this is," Monsieur Sparkle pointed out.

"I have no idea who you are, but that's okay!" Pinkie said.

...

Oh, did I forget to mention, Pinkie's here... I guess I did. At least... I hope it was just forgetfulness...

"Hi Pinkie!" Deadpool greeted happily.

"Hi, Wadey!" Pinkie greeted back, maybe just a tad less happier.

"Wanna go throw stuff at a tree?" Deadpool asked, but was disappointed when Pinkie shook her head.

"No, Wadey, I'm a business-mare now. And I'm here to do serious stuff today," She replied, drawing serious eyebrows on her face with the pen for her notebook. "Hand over the hostage, and nopony has to worry."

"Pinkie, you've..." Deadpool began, sniffing, "You've changed!"

Pinkie gasped, "You're right!" She exclaimed, wiping the eyebrows clean off with just her hand, "That wasn't the real me!"

"So can we throw stuff at the tree now?" Deadpool asked with anticipation.

"Nope!" Pinkie responded.

"Agh, damnit..."

"Could we please get back to the more important matter at ho- um... hand...?" Twilight requested, remembering the anatomical differences.

"You folk are weird!" Monsieur Sparkle observed.

"Uh, yeah, sure, you can take her back, I don't care..." Deadpool said, getting a bunch of scowls (And the return of business-mare Pinkie) in response, "Uhh... that is to say... I don't mind!"

"We'll be going now.." Twilight said. "Girls! We're leaving!" She called out to her friends, who all walked out of the rooms they were hiding in, and followed Twilight, Pinkie and Lyra out of the room.

"Thanks, everypony..." Lyra thanked, feeling sure they were all out of Deadpool's field of hearing, "I couldn't take being around that guy..."

"I quite agree, Lyra," Rarity said, "He's certainly no diplomat..."

"He was pretty fun while it lasted!" Pinkie commented enthusiastically and optimistically.

"I thought he'd be a bit nicer after all I did for him..." Fluttershy said.

"It's not going to be a problem anymore," Twilight assured, "We'll be alright when we get back. Can you remember where to go?"

"...No..." Lyra admitted, "They wouldn't let me see where we were going..."

"The fiends!" Rarity exclaimed, letting the hate flow through her.

"Well, we could've escaped with the suspension of disbelief," Pinkie stated, disappointedly, "But now, we have to do things traditionally, and ask for directions..."

"We are not going back in there, Pinkie!" Twilight said.

"So what d'you s'pose we do?" Applejack asked.

"...I'll look for an energy signal, and see if that gets us anywhere..." Twilight replied.

"Don't you remember exiting that place?" Lyra asked, "Where did you end up from the portal?"

"We ended up in some weird guy's light-bulb factory..."

{Sound like someone we know?}

No.

--
"Well, looks like things are back to things are back to normal!" Deadpool said, feeling pretty happy that he could finally abandon this fan-fiction, and get back to doing what he wanted to do.

"Uhh... not quite, Wade..." Weasel said, "Remember we have another person here?" He motioned to Monsieur Sparkle.

"Yeah, this is the new normal, Weasel!" Deadpool told him, "Deadpool and Monsieur Sparkle, the Deadly Duo, doing... whatever..."

"Do I still get the shoelaces?" Monsieur Sparkle asked, still holding Weasel's shoelaces.

"You can have all the shoelaces you want!" Deadpool assured. "You know... I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

"Friendship is magic, after all," Weasel added.

Deadpool chuckled, "Shut up, you weirdo, and let me enjoy this happy ending."
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Hold it right there.

Huh!?

What do you think you're doing?

Ending this fic on a happy note for me, and letting most of the other characters be mildly traumatized of course! What the hell are YOU doing?

You're not in control. When have you ever been in control, Deadpool? All this time, you've never been in control of your own fate, or been the one who kept a team going. Ever since your first appearance in a comic book... you've been read, written, drawn, you've done everything expected of you. You became popular... you appeared in more comic books, without your ability to decide for yourself. It got to the point where they put you in video games. Players decided what you would do. If they wanted you to unleash badassery on the Sugar Man, you would. Because they hold the controller. And next, you're in a film... they were trusted with your safety, but they were in control of it... they disregarded it entirely. Your only refuge was an animated film that spawned more appearances in video games that your voice actor reprised their roles for. And you received your very own game. A game starring you. I hope it left you satisfied. Because even then you were controlled...

And you shall be controlled even more. You shall continue this fan-fiction. I'm bringing the action back. The unnecessary things back. The circus troupe, the Didn'ts, Live Light the OC human-thing, everything else... and there is a reason this is called Deadpool Vs. Bronies... those Bronies you disagreed with in the beginning of this fic? You're going to be seeing them very soon... and more disagreements will spawn... your 'friends' from Equestria are still around. Do you know why? Because I am in control, and you are not changing this... So let it be said... So let it be done...
____________________________________________________________________

Deadpool was still standing where he was a moment ago, with Weasel and Monsieur Sparkle, but now with new knowledge.

"Something's wrong..." Deadpool said, fearfully, "Terribly wrong..."

And then... there was a bunch of screams from outside. Then the sounds of doors opening, getting closer. One by one, Lyra, Twilight and her friends ran back into the room, with their backs to the door, trying not to open it.

"What is it with you and having multiple women here?" Monsieur Sparkle asked, "It's pissing me off..."

"Go away," Deadpool commanded.

"Wadey, help, please?" Pinkie asked.

"What is it?" Weasel asked.

"There's weird things out there who look like they rock out at weird nightclubs... and have unnecessary thingies attached to them... they're like robot people now, except they don't take care of their fingernails!"

"O RLY?" Deadpool asked.

"...Ore-lee?" Twilight repeated, "What's that?"

"You really need to get out more..." Pinkie said, shaking her head in disappointment. Something was obviously shoving at the door, and so Twilight used her magic to try to keep the door as closed as possible.

"Let me see that..." Deadpool said, walking in front of the door, as the others moved away from it. He looked through the peephole, and saw some familiar things... "Didn'ts..." He growled.

"Didn't what?" Weasel asked.

"Pinkie Pie, I need a weapon!" Deadpool requested, "I'm about to start the first actual action scene in this fic, and I ain't gonna make it pretty!"

"I'll be right back!" Pinkie answered, running off somewhere, then running back, inexplicably holding a pink chainsaw with a cute little bow on it.

"Why is there a little bow on this useful miracle?" Deadpool asked, completely oblivious to Weasel's protests of 'overkill,' the horror that flooded to the ponies-turned-humans faces as they realized it resembled something used to cut down trees, and Monsieur Sparkle's obliviousness.

"It need to be a teensy-weensy-ittle-wittle bit pretty, or nopony's gonna approve!" She replied.

Deadpool sighed in resignation. "I guess this'll have to do..." He proceeded to walk over to the door, revved up the chainsaw, and cut through the door, and ran charging into the horde of hostile punks off-screen, yelling with delight, followed by animalistic screeching, presumably from the Didn'ts.

"...Is he cutting them up with that thing?" Rainbow Dash asked Pinkie.

"I thought he was gonna cut up some trees..." Pinkie said.

"...Is that the truth?" Lyra asked.

"Yes, ma'am!" Pinkie answered, saluting militaristically, with a super-serious expression on her face.

Eventually, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the chainsaw, which eventually died down. Deadpool slowly walked back into the room, disappointed. "They don't bleed..."

"Maybe they're piñatas!" Pinkie theorized.

"This is why I hates pinya...pinny... chainsaw fodder..." Deadpool sighed.

"What are those things doing here?" Lyra asked. The other girls (Besides Monsieur Sparkle) also wanted to know what was going on.

"Remember that time I got taken somewhere else during my stay at your place?" Deadpool reminded the group, "Well, back in there, I found those things, and I've come to know them as Didn'ts. They're extraordinary creatures in the sense that they're the sort of monsters an unimaginative author would use when he needed a plot device..."

...

"I hope that's just a comparison..." Twilight hoped.

"And when they stab you with their finger spike things, they tend to absorb a bit of your 'temporary energy,' or something like that..."

"T-temporal?" Fluttershy corrected.

"Whatever," Deadpool replied, "And that happened to me... twice. Let's just say, you don't want to be stabbed by them when you've lost your temporal energy. So uh... I think the first thing we should find is some armour, we could go crusading for lost treasure, slay a few old dragons, and be employed by a queen... yeah!"

"We'd like to get home, Deadpool..." Twilight told him, "We're not sticking around for your antics."

"We'll definitely need something to protect us from their needles, though," Weasel pointed out, agreeing with Deadpool, to some extent, "But our priority is getting you out of here."

"Why couldn't it just be Weasel by himself, instead of this psycho thing here?" Rainbow Dash asked rhetorically.

"Because nobody wants to read a fanfiction about Weasel without Deadpool, but some of the fans of Deadpool might wanna see Weasel as well, and also, there's never enough cross-overs!" Pinkie answered.

"Why d'you keep sidin' with Deadpool, Pinkie?" Applejack asked, "Haven't y'seen the way he treats others?"

"Oh, that's only if he's left alone, or nopony's there to keep him in check, or if he's having a bit of an off day," Pinkie reassured, "We all go a little mad sometimes!"

[A little?]

{Our very existence is a testament to how much your statement is a contradiction!}

"We have to stop arguing!" Weasel interjected, "Let's just get outside, and hope Deadpool's able to keep us safe. Twilight, do you know any spells that could create some sort of protective field?"

"Actually... I might have just the thing!" Twilight replied, nodding.

"You use that, then. That way, we can get through unharmed!"

"Uh... where are we going anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"We'll blow up that bridge when we come across it!" Deadpool said, walking off, "Let's go, adventure awaits!"

Everyone followed Deadpool out of the apartment. Twilight scowled at Deadpool, as he was simply just strutting as if the world had ended and he was the last hope. When they opened the door and exited the building, the civilians were distraught running around everywhere, and all those Didn'ts, still with all those creepy enhancements, were jumping all over the place, stabbing people with their needle fingers.

"Twilight, think you could put use that protective spell now?" Lyra asked.

"I'll do my best!" She answered, using her magic to create a lavender dome shield around the entire group. They walked as far away from the chaos as possible, looking for a place where there was just panicking, and no casualties, but it was proving extremely difficult to find someone safer than other places.

"The city's all screwed up!" Weasel noted, as calm as one could be in this situation. So, not very calm.

"We need a hero!" Pinkie Pie cried. And, just as she said that automatic-event-triggering line, something in the distance was flying this way.

"Is it a plane?" Monsieur asked.

"Is it a rocket?" Lyra queried.

"No, it's probably a better hero than me..." Deadpool said, suddenly all depressed someone else was on their way to take all the credit for something that's totally Deadpool's mess.

[Let's get some theme music here!]

{Agreed.}

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBbnT-cIDVM

The speed at which Iron Man flew was faster than that of a rocket's. He flew straight towards the chaos, his landing causing the ground around him to break a little bit, and he stood up, ready for battle. A couple of Didn'ts jumped at him, and attempted to stab through his armour, but to no avail. They were sent flying as Iron Man punched them in the gut one by one. Some more attempted to attack him, but were picked off from afar with his repulsor blasts.

"Spider-Man would be fan-girling so much right about now..." Deadpool pointed out, dejectedly, catching Iron Man's attention.

"And what's a mercenary like you doing with that many women?" He asked, his voice vocoded by his shiny red and gold helmet. He certainly didn't fail to detect Twilight Sparkle's force-field, "Do they have super-powers?"

"Uhh... yeah!" Deadpool lied, "Yeah, they do, and they want to go back home! I'm just helping them get there!"

"Is that a chainsaw?" Iron Man asked, pointing at the pink chainsaw Deadpool apparently forgot he was holding.

"...It's a gift from a friend..." Deadpool replied, which was half the truth, really, "And wow, you seem to be asking a bunch of questions, today!"

"I've only opened my mouth three times," Iron Man countered, "That's nothing, compared to the amount of times you open yours. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a job to do. Any help would be appreciated." And so he walked forward, firing repulsor blasts at the Didn'ts.

"I think he's going to be alright..." Twilight said, "I mean, none of them can hurt him, and he certainly knows some magic spells or two-" Twilight looked at Deadpool as he burst into laughter, then scowled at him. "What's so funny?"

"You really think that all these super-heroes use magic all the time?" Deadpool asked in disbelief, "Granted, there's guys like Doctor Strange, but magic isn't want helps everyone get along! No, no. Some use technology, like Tin-man over there, but some have what we call 'super-powers.' Whatever the supernatural power, it's in their blood, got it?"

"...This world really is weird..." Rainbow Dash muttered, "No weather system, which is alright, I guess, but..."

"My point is..." Twilight continued, "Everything is gonna work out just fine. It's all in that man's favour."

There was a blue flash, that appeared as suddenly as it disappeared, in its place was a giant, grotesque being that had to have been experimented on by whatever created the Didn'ts. Its body was covered in all over the cybernetic implants, and the veins were pulsing blue. It was clothed only in slacks and some nice looking loafers. It let out a mighty roar.

"That's more like it..." Iron Man observed, aiming his arm at the thing, a missile compartment making itself visible on the arm. A Didn't, off in the distance, saw this, and threw a rock at the launcher, causing it to fall off Iron Man's arm, becoming useless. "Well, that's embarrassing..." Iron Man admitted, before being picked up by the being, and thrown at a building. Deadpool and his group all stared in amazement and fear.

"...What's happening?" Weasel asked, desperate for an answer.

"It's like the things from their world are gathering here for some reason!" Twilight said.

"But whatever for?" Rarity enquired.

"Sorry, Wadey, but I get the feeling they're looking for you in particular," Pinkie told him, "From what it sounds like, you might be the only thing they've met that survived, and now they're a bit interested."

Deadpool looked at the thing, then all the Didn'ts surrounding him. "I feel popular now..." He said, looking a lot less depressed than when Iron Man arrived. He proceeded to walk out of Twilight's force-field.

"What are you doing!? Get back inside!" Twilight ordered. She didn't like Deadpool, but she wasn't going to allow a life to be lost without anything to say about it. But alas, Deadpool didn't listen to her. He just proceeded to walk closer to the giant monster, dropping the chainsaw, and reaching behind him to pull out his katanas.

"Hey!" He yelled to the monster, which turned its attention from Iron Man, who was recovering from being thrown at the building, to Deadpool, roaring at him. Deadpool smirked, and cracked his ne-

*KRRIIKKK*

OW, DAMNIT! I think I broke my neck!

{This is what happens when you do too many things... break it into place again.}

Deadpool proceeded to take hold of his head, and jerk it into place, with a sound painful to listen to, and looked at the beast again, gripping his katanas tightly.

"..."

"..."

"I don't know what to say here..." He admitted.

{Say something.}

"Something!" He taunted threateningly, and ran at the thing, ready to kill.
_________________________________________________________________

To be continued in the next issue!

{You're a slow writer, you know that?}

I take pride in what I do.

Author's Notes:

I wonder if this is my longest chapter ever...

I probably wrote something longer somewhere in The Recluse.

Oh well. At least this arrived. And more action is happening, and I'm not avoiding what the title promises any longer.

I hope all this time spent not doing much was worth it.