EPISODE 7

What is Love, if not just an emotion that is brought up, because they need to keep in mental check.

it is a mere part of our society, that was accepted into it because one person thought of it, and then it spread like wildfire.

I thought to myself as I pondered the wonders and mysteries of the universe.

"That doesn't make since at all" I mutter to myself as I continue to ponder.

I started wondering what conspiracy theories I could start in this little world that I choose to go to.

Its a simple process, really.

STEP 1

Start off with looking at the form of government.

She (As in celestia) seems to have a pretty sound government here,so I cant start any conspiracies that the government is being ran by a secret organization called the

"ILLUMINATI!" I Yell at the top of my lounges and look around with wide eyes.

after I was sure that the Illuminati didn't exist.

For Now.

Nurse Redheart walked in as I started twiddling with my thumbs, she couldn't fathom how bored I was.

"Hey, Nurse Sweetheart" I said to get her attention. and it was her attention I got.

"What is it?" She said with pure malice and hate.

"Wow, chill, I was just joking." I said as I held up my hands in defense.

"Can you hand me my DVD Collection?" I asked as I made puppy dog eyes

"Hand?" Redheart asked

"Just give me the damn box in the corner" I said as I was on the brink of yelling.

She started pushing the box toward me, as I stretched my hands out to get the box whispering "Gimme Gimme"

I finally got a hold on the box and lifted it up, and placed it on my lap.

I made is so that my hospital bed is like a chair of sorts so I can sit up at a 90 degree angle. I opened the first floppy flap/lid of the box, and then the second, and then the third, and then, slowly but surely ive completely opened the box.

What I see inside is beautiful as always.

A Tear Drops from my eye, a tear of happiness.

I had no idea what an instrumental song would do if I played in on my internal MP3 player, but I guess I was about to find out.

As I Played a Song by my Favorite Composer as I peered inside the box of many wonders.

It made me start tearing up even more, to know that I have all of these DVDs and nothing to play them with. I have every season of Doctor Who, Starting with William Hartnell, and Ending with Matt Smith.

I Have Every Season of Scrubs, from awkward season 1, to season 9, and yes I count medical school too. as I was shifting through the DVDs practically swimming in nostalgia, something catches my eye. A Journal, very old, yet, unused.

I pull it out of the small crevice its hiding in between the FullMetal Alchemist Complete Box Set, and My Blu ray of The Shawshank Redemption.

I observed the journal, as best I could.

the structure of the journal was very old, but I seemed like it had nearly never been written in.

It was brown, almost made of some sort of leather material, and had patterns engraved into it. I felt around the seams, and it seemed as if it was hand sewn.

I took a deep Breath, and Opened it.

This Journal Belongs to Max Taylor.

"What the fuck?" I said to myself as I observed the writing.

it was impossible who the writing belonged to, because he was long dead. But there was no denying that it was my fathers handwriting.

a tear of sadness dropped from my eye, and stained the page I was on. I Turned the page to reveal even more text, on a blank page.

Dear Max,

By the time you read this, you would be most likely going through the old parts of your DVD collection, for some purpose that I would like to believe as your version of feeling like you need to watch an old movie, or maybe even wanting to remember something because you have a bad memory.

I am probably too old to comprehend words anymore, or have passed away at the time your reading this so ill have to make it really quick.

Max, I Love you, and there is no way in hell I would ever say any different, and I know how you have all of those ideas and designs, and even sometimes dreams, that you need to hold onto because your memory is shit. So I Made you this journal, for you to write down thoughts that you cant talk to anyone else about, and maybe you will hide this somewhere in one of your Kids' rooms or collections so that he can find it and use it.

For now, I leave you with 10 entry's that I wrote down, that if im honest, I dont think that anyone but you will understand, because you are the only person that could ever equal my intellectual capabilities.

Have a Nice life Max

Dad

Tears were now streaming down my eyes as I read the not over and over again.

I Never knew how much my dad really loved me, he was always invested in his work, and I never saw him unless he was out of his work station in his basement.

I Closed the journal

This was too Much for me.

More crying ensued, as I put my hands over my face, and just thought about life..

"Max?" I heard pinkie at the door.

I wiped my eyes, cleared my throat,and put the damn best pokerface that I wear on, and looked up to see pinkie not with her normal, Poofy, Bright Pink hair, but with strait,Dark Pink hair. "Pinkie, what happened to your hair?" I Asked, concerned with her well being.

She walked to the side of my bed and sat down, saying nothing.

"Pinkie, im sorry if what I said offended you, I dont even remember when I said, but if it was something to make my closest and only friend sad, or angry with me, I deserve whatever you say to me."

This seemed to get her attention, as she looked up at me with those cotton candy blue eyes, that were red as if she had been crying.

"w-were still friends?" she asked me quietly.

I gave her a warm Half-smile and looked strait into her eyes.

"Why would I stop being friends with you, if your my only friend?"

She looked back down and then back up at me.

"You mean it, that im your friend?"

I straight at her again, but this time I put my hand on top of her head and started scratching behind her ear. It worked for cats, why not ponies?

she seemed to like this but my hand was instantly stopped by the Poofing up of her hair. I Lifted my hand back up but was stopped agian by pinkie putting her hoof on my hand and looking at me really weirdly, I dont know what it was, but it kinda looked like attraction. Her pupils were dilated, so that gave me a hint as to what was going on, but I didnt know much about Pony physiology, so I put my hand back on top of her head and started scratching behind her ear again.

"mmmmax that feels really good" she said as she slurred her words a little.

that reaction didnt go under my radar.

"Pinkie, why did you come in here?" I asked as I continued to scratch, switching ears I was scratching every once in a while.

"Because I felt bad for overreactingggg." she said as she slurred her words again.

It seemed ive put her under some sort of 'interrogation trance', as if I could get her to say anything as long as I was scratching behind her ears.

I looked down to the pony to the side of my hospital bed.

I was intrigued by what I saw below. Pinkie pie seemed to be swaying back and forth depending on what ear I scratch. Her eyes were closed, but I could see that she was moving them alot underneath.

I was a little scared how this was so easily effecting her, but nonetheless, I decided to exploit it for a little longer.

"Hay Pinkie" I said, getting her attention

"yyyeeeaaaa?" she said as I scratched behind her left ear,

"Can you sign me out of this hospital, I feel like ive completely healed" I said as I punched myself in the stomach to prove it. Not even a scratch....kinda. I winced in a small amount of pain that I felt because of the initial punch.

I stopped scratching pinkie, as she was now drooling all over the floor.

Soon after getting my cloths back from the nurse, and signing out of the hospital, pinkie was now showing me a way to a place called Sugarcube Corner,which is a place that sells deserts, but for some reason, pinkie lives there.

speaking of pinkie, she has been talking nonstop since we left the hospital, maybe I should give her a few seconds of my listening time.

"-And then we found out about these things called 'The Elements of Harmony', and had to vanquish Nightmare Moon with them-" I stopped listening there, I had heard enough to know the just of what she was talking about.

I Was mindlessly following her until a thought came across my mind, well, two thoughts, well two thoughts and a idea

my first thought, was that I was forgetting something really important that someone had told me earlier today, something about Pinkie.

'Probably nothing' I said as I shrugged it off. pinkie looks like shes a little frustrated, almost like shes ranting, I should probably listen in.

"-And then Gilda had the guts to STEAL an apple from that poor Salespony-" I stopped listening.

I dont really think this rant concerns me.

Back to thinking about those 2 things and an idea.

My Second thing I was thinking about, was the journal, and how many ponies I see running into their homes.

Am I really that scary?

I Looked myself over in a reflection of the many shop windows.

I was about 2 times taller than all the ponies that were here, they were all at least 3.6 feet tall, maybe 4, and I actually had a beard.

Ok, What the fuck, I haven't even been here for 3 days and I have a fucking beard. Beside that, I looked fine until you see my shirt, which had a huge hole in it, which was also covered in FUCKING BLOOD.

I Looked really intimidating, I understand why they hide from me now.

"Oof!" I said as my face ran into something that was definitely solid.

"The Fuck?" I said as I rubbed my forehead and stepped back.

"Well, you would have seen that coming if you had been paying attention." She said as she bumped me with her hoof.

"Shut up" I said sarcastically.

Pinkie showed me to the door and opened it for me.

When I walked in, it was dark, and when I say dark, its not just any dark, its advanced dark.

I started backing up, and when I say backing up, I mean Nopeing the nope out of there, I hate the dark.

I ran into the door, which was closed, and all of a sudden, the lights turned on instantly, and I heard the word that I never expected

"SURPRISE!" I Heard as 6, maybe seven ponies came out of fucking nowhere, and scared the living shit out of me.

My instinct took hold and I did what any rational human being that doesn't want to make new friends does, I dove (Head First I might add) out of the nearest window.

Luckily, I knew how to break my own fall.

but what I didn't count for, was the tons of glass that I would be the receiving IN THE FACE. I hit the ground, and despite the GLASS IN MY FACE, I still managed to do a perfect roll. Heh, that Parkour Camp in California that my mom sent me to because she thought it would help me get in shape, even though it just made me even lazier, because now I no more ways of NOT doing things, but I now NOT do things in a more creative way.

I was thinking about all of these things not because I wanted to, but because I was now laying in a pool of my own blood again, im starting to since a trend here.

"Oh my gosh max, are you ok?" I heard pinkie ask.

"Im not Healthy" I said sarcastically

She helped me get to my feet as I brushed myself off. "Thanks Pinks I appreciate it" I said as I began to walk toward the window I had leaped out of. "Max, where are you going?" I heard Pinkie ask from behind me. "I jumped out of this window" I pointed at the shattered window "I want to jump back through it, id rather not use doors when there is a better opportunity not to use as much energy." I finished by stepping though the shattered window and looking around to see startled ponies (Maybe 6) staring at me like im going to eat their souls.

I Looked at them all and decided I should be the first to speak to the crowd of 15,15 is a big fucking crowd.

I clapped my hands together, and thought of something to say, but couldn't, until I noticed a pony I knew as sparks standing somewhere in the back, she immediately got my attention, so I wanted to skip all of the socializing.

"uuhhhhhhhh, sorry everybody, im Max, and im sure your wondering, 'what the fuck is talking about, and did he just jump through a window?'. Im not gonna lie to anyone here, and im going to be completely honest. I have not the slightest fucking clue what im talking about, im just trying to make it so that I have to socialize with as little of you as possible, and yes, I did jump through that-" I pointed at the shattered window "Window, and I will repair it myself when I have the time today." and with that, I walked away toward sparks.

I slowly approached sparks while watching the ponies have conversations, probably about fruit, or various objects or foods that concern ponies.

"Quite the entrance" Sparks said sarcastically

"Well, it isnt easy being as fabulous as I am" I said as I took a piece of glass out of my neck that I missed.

Sparks Giggled at my tomfoolery, but when she saw how big the piece was, she had a look of concern on her face.

"Grrraaahhh" I groaned as I pulled the 3 inch piece of glass out of the back of my neck and placed my hand on the wound so it would stop bleeding.

"Oh my gosh max, are you ok?" sparks yelled, causing pinkie and 4 other ponies, who were unfamiliar  to come over to where me and sparks were.

"1 more inch and I wouldnt be" I say as I look at the piece of glass and smirk. I Take a better hold of the glass, and throw it at a wall, embedding it there.

I Look around and see the many faces staring at me.

I decide to break the ice, agian.

"LETS PAR-TAY!" I yell and run up to the DJ Booth, "Alright, what kind of sick tunes do you have for me?" I question as I look through the small selection of musical record until I reach a title, that reads "Party Songs".

"GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!" I yell as I put the record onto the record player. the music starts, and some weak actual party stuff comes up.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?" I yell as I smash the record player with my fist.

"You ponies call that party music?" I yell as I point to the ponies in the crowd. "Nonononono, Let me show you music"

I Start Banging on the Table.

"WHEN I BANG, YOU STOMP YOUR HOOVES, OK?"

I Start singing one of my favorite songs.

Buddy you're a boy make a big noise

Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day

You got mud on yo' face

You big disgrace

Kickin' your can all over the place

Singin'

We will we will rock you

We will we will rock you

The Ponies were into it now, they were singing with me.

Buddy you're a young man hard man

Shouting in the street gonna take on the world some day

You got blood on yo' face

You big disgrace

Wavin' your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you

Sing it

We will we will rock you

Buddy you're an old man poor man

Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make

You some peace some day

You got mud on your face

Big disgrace

Somebody betta put you back into your place

We will we will rock you

Sing it

We will we will rock you

Everybody

We will we will rock you

We will we will rock you

Alright

As the song finished we were all dancing as I finished the guitar solo.

I looked over the crowd of ponies, but one stood out. Her Blue eyes, and her fluffy pink hair. dancing in the crowd with so much enthusiasm, making people happy.

I cant believe im saying this, but I think I have feelings for a pony.

I keep saying that to myself, and it sounds more absurd by the second, but those feelings still reside in the back of my mind. The pony known as Pinkie Pie, is the only real friend I have,  when she came to get me from earth, and I had an emotional breakdown, she helped me get back to my feet and smile proudly. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her, I'd hate to admit it, but Celestia was right, I would probably have killed myself if I hadn't come to met Pinkie and come to Equestria. I still died here, but for some reason I had a conversation with someone who identified themselves as God (Who was German by the way) and he just, asked me if I needed a reason to live, and I identified pinkie as my only friend. But maybe there was something behind his reasons for showing me how much pinkie pie really means to me.

Ive never really had feelings for a pony, or any other thing alive for that matter. And quite frankly, I don't want these feelings, they get in the way of important things, like Doctor Who, and "SCIENCE!" I yelled out loud getting all of the ponies in the room who to stare at me. After everyone got back to what they were doing I got back to thinking again, until I was approached by a mint green unicorn and a vanilla coated earthpony. The mint green unicorn looked really exited, but the vanilla one looked annoyed as fuck.

I looked at the mint unicorn, who was now standing directly in front of me with one of the weirdest faces ive ever seen a pony make. It was like she was nervous, but really really exited, I would normally bind these words together, and make a new absurd word that no-one would ever use but me, but whatever.

"Uhhh, Hi?" I asked as I waved to the minty colored pony in front of me. This only seemed to make her more exited. by the time I was able to back up, she was practically shaking as fast as the flash at this point, and the vanilla one was just watching, with a slight smile.

I Started to walk away when I heard "WAITDONTGOIHAVETOTALKTOYOU!" and then I was tackled, by who I assume was the minty unicorn.

"If you needed to talk to me that badly, you could have just responded to me"  I said as I stayed pinned to the ground on the ground.

"Im Sorry, im just exited I finally get to meet a human, I could let you just walk away." The mint green unicorn exclaimed.

"Ok, go ahead say what you need to say, so I can move on with my day." I was annoyed by this time, but at the same time I was very intrigued.

"well, I cant ask you all of these questions at your party, it would just be rude." She was really getting on my nerves now, especially since she was still sitting on my back.

"Than WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SITTING ON ME?" I yelled as I tried to get up, but she was still sitting on top of me.

"I don't know, you're pretty comfy." she says back to me. "I Need a drink" I said as I rolled over, making her fall off of me, why didn't I do that in the first place.

"Ow, why did you do that?" she asked as I stood back up.

"Cause, this party is weak, and I need some alcohol." I said as I started walking away.

As I walked away from the party, in my honor, I looked for someone on the street who seemed like they knew their way around.

after walking in a random direction for what seemed like an hour, I finally ran into a brown earth pony, with a stylish mane, and a hourglass on his butt.

"Hello!" I said as I passed him. His eyes grew wide, and he looked confused, slightly scared, and a little exited, but a weird.

"Max, how are you doing?" The Pony asked.

This time, my eyes grew wide, how the fuck did he know my name?

"Look, im not going to question how you know my name, I just need a bit of information" I didn't want to get into this shit now, hes probably a fucking time traveler.

"Anything for an old friend" he says

"I need to know where a bar is, if not a bar, somewhere I can get alcohol" I was desperate for something to drink, I really need it.

"Oh, its that night? its right down the street, and take a left. You cant miss it." He seemed to know what he was talking about.

"Thanks, I didn't get your name, and no bullshit, time traveler" I wanted his name, not his made up name, I know he would have an alias.

"Oh Max, you were always smarter than what was good for you." he seemed troubled, and filled with sorrow, but when he was me looking at him he snapped back into attention. "My name, you will find out soon enough, but for now, just have a good night."

I fucking knew it, Fucking knew it. Fucking time traveling motherfucker.

I started walking in the direction I was told to, and then turned when the pony said to, when I was stopped by a bar, but not just any bar. This bar was called the rusty dagger. First of all, what the fuck, second of all, what the FUCK, third of all, I wonder what kind of drinks they have here.

10 Shots and 7 Beers later im finally drunk, the alcohol in this world tastes like water. After I got out of the bar, being slightly incapacitated by the alcohol, a Song came to mind, I dont really know why, I guess I really cant control my magic when im drunk.

I start acting and singing out everything that was happening in the music video I had grown to know and love.

"She was more like a beauty queen from a movie screen

I said, don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one

Who will dance on the floor in the round

She told me her name was Billy Jean as she caused a scene

And every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one

Who would dance on the floor in the round

People always told me

Be careful what you do

Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

And mama always told me

Be careful who you love

Be careful what you do

Because a lie becomes the truth

Billy Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who

says that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

For forty days and for forty nights

The law was on her side

But who could stand when she's in demand

With her schemes and plans

'Cause we danced on the floor in the round

So take my strong advice

Just remember to always think twice

She told my baby we danced 'til three

Then she looked at me

And showed a photo of my baby crying

His eyes were like mine

So we danced on the floor in the round

People always told me

Be careful what you do

Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

But she came and stood right by me

I could smell her sweet perfume

I guess it happened way too soon

She called me to her room

Billy Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who

Claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

Billy Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who

Says that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says I am the one

But the kid is not my son

Billy Jean is not my lover"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>>>>>Next Day

I opened my eyes, to reveal Bookshelves, and very, very, bright amounts of light.Well this is what I should expect,  knowing as I drank the most alcohol I ever have in a LONG tim- "GURGLURLGUGRLUGLGRUGRLGR" is the sound I made when my bowls ejected from my mouth, interrupting my thoughts.

"OH, YOU'RE AWAKE." I heard Sparks yell from behind me. "GAH!" I yell as I cover my ears. "stop talking so fucking loud sparks." I whispered, apparently, the hangovers are exactly like they are back on earth; a massive headache, everything is loud as fuck, and they always end up in the same question: where the fuck am I?

"So Sparks, I cant tell where the fuck I am, is this the library, or somewhere that looks similar to the library, and your just making it look like the library, and you really going to harvest my organs. Speaking of harvesting, when am I going to be able to harvest some souls from the undead so I can live longer, oh wait, I cant do that. Speaking of not being able to do things I cant walk right now, I cant even feel my leg-" I would have continued my rant, but sparks put her hoof in my mouth, which strangely tasted like strawberry candy. "Max, what you need to do, is take some of this, I got it from Rainbowdash" RainbowDash? who the fuck is that? Sparks held a cup in her other hoof, wait, if she has one hoof in my mouth, and one hoof off of the ground, than how the fuck is she standing?

I dont care, I just need a cure for this shit. I took the drink, what was I assume to be something around the ball park of liquid rainbow by the way twilight was explaining it.

"Bottoms up!" I yelled and chugged it.

Now this drink gave me some, "Mixed" feelings, as that's the best I can describe it.

First, it was cold, and tasted like old roast beef.

Then, it was sour, like when you eat 200 warheads, and your tongue starts to dissolve.|

Third, OH MY GOD THATS SPICY, I got up and ran in a random direction with my mouth open.

But that passed soon enough then, it felt AMAZING, like soothing bells, to my ears, but I think that bells are annoying, so thats just a downside.

"Max, are you ok?" I heard sparks whisper. "Uh, yea im fine." I whisper back while leaning against the wall with one hand. "Max, why did you leave pinkies party, she got really worried until you burst through the door singing about somepony named billy jean, and how hes not your son." she finished by giving me a concerned look.

"Ok, sparks, I got hammered last night, and I dont remember anything, could you please fill me in on what I did at the party?"

THE PREVIOUS NIGHT FROM SPARKS POV

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I saw Max leave, but why would max leave a party that just got going? I'm not going to question it, im just going to relax and enjoy the music.

------------------------------

2 Hours Later

------------------------------

I was too busy spacing out to see that pinkie was trying to talk to me, maybe I should listen. "Twilight, I asked, Have you seen Max?" she looked really worried. She really cared about him alot didn't she. "I Dont-" My Response was interrupted by Max Smashing the door down, and dancing in the middle of the shop. He was singing about somepony named billy jean. Once I thought he was done dancing, I approached him, thinking I could calm him down, but instead, by surprise he started petting my mane and saying "Pretty Unicorn" I was embarrassed, so I took hold of him with my magic and pulled him away to somewhere he wouldn't embarrass himself.

Once we were in the back of the shop, I wanted to question him, but pinkie kept interrupting, and asking what was wrong with max.when I finally got a chance to be alone with him, I decided to ask him some questions that he might be able to answer."Max, where did you go?"

"Can I tell you a secret?" He responded

"Sure" I said

"Come Closer"

So I did

"CLOSER" he whipsered

I wanted answers and this seemed like best way to get them.

I got as close as I could.

"IM BATMAN!" he yelled as he jumps in the air and flaps his arms, eventually falling to the ground.

"Ugh, Max, I Need answers Max, Where did you go to?"

"I went to a place called the rusty dagger, after talking to a time traveling pony"

"So your drunk?" I asked

"As a tree in the summer, wait......what?" he was confusing himself now, I had to get him to-

My thoughts were interrupted by max grabbing me, and pulling me into a very tight hug. "Max, Why are you hugging me so hard?" I asked/wheezed.

"Because your going to help me figure out why I have feelings for a pony"

I was stunned, who did he have feelings for?

"I have feelings for Pinkie, and I need your help to figure out why"

"Oh, Pinkie, that kinda makes since" I thought out loud

"Yea, I mean, I like her, I mean, like like her, not like her in some completely platonic way,but in a way that an eagle likes a fish that he just caught. No, wait that doesn't sound right, its like a person likes another person, but they want to like them more, and they cant because they are a completely different species. Do you know that feeling twilight?"

I was dumbfounded, I had no idea what the hay he was talking about.

"Uhh, no"

"I want to be with her, but shes a different species"

"Whats wrong with that?"

"Whats wrong with two completely different species, dating, mating, getting into relationships. that kind of stuff is taboo in my world"

I completely understood his pain, and I want to help him through it

"Your not in your world anymore Max, some of the things that are taboo in your world, are normal here"

Max Looked completely caught off guard by what I told him.

"So it wouldn't be bad if I had feelings for pinkie?" Max asked me.

"No Max, its not bad." I was relieved, maybe if they dated she would stop asking me about him.

Then, Max Fell Asleep.

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-Present Day- Max POV

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"So I just, fell asleep?"Sparks Nodded. ive never just gone asleep before, that defiantly is new. "So I really confessed my feelings for Pinkie?" Sparks Nodded again. Damn, I really need to start drinking with other people so that they can keep my mouth shut when I wander off.

"So, whats the plan for today?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. By the relieved look on her face I can see she really wanted to change the subject as well. "Uh, I can see you need new clothes, so after we go to the market for some supplies, we can go and see Rarity." I had no idea who the fuck Rarity was, but im going to go with it anyway if im getting free shit.

"Then we go TO THE MARKET!" I yelled as I grabbed Sparks and threw her over my shoulder. "Are you Crazy Max, Put me down" She was obviously mad at me, but I wasn't done with the fun yet. "If you really must know, im not crazy yet, but I need you to trust me on this one, we will get there faster if I do it this way." I Ran toward the door,opened it, and ran toward the Market.

When we got to the market, there was a large crowd around a stage with fireworks coming from it, this could be slightly cooler than shopping in a market.

I approached the stage, to see a blue pony with a cape and a badass wizard hat pop out of MOTHERFUCKING SMOKE, doing magic tricks and shit. "Watch in awe, as The Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" she yelled as fireworks blew up in my face. I looked back to twilight who was walking beside me and motioned her to come along. "My my my, what boasting" a snotty pony a few feet away from me said. Then I heard a smaller voice say "Cmon, nopony's as magic as Twi..." thats all I heard before I saw a little purple thing run toward Sparks, I wonder what the fuck that was about. I heard 3 or 4 ponies bitching about how "The Great and Powerful Trixie" was boasting, I had to stop them all right there. I started to walk up to them, witch are the ponies I recognize from the party. Before I could talk to any of them, a Pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and a cyan coat flew up to the stage and confronted her. this was the end of the line,I had to stop them from interrupting her show, she was a performer, getting by in the world, and I had sympathy for her, I used to perform sometimes at parties and clubs, and I understand how it is to be in the spotlight, trying to do everything you can to prove your worth the audiences time.

I was almost at the stage when one of the ponies went up there to try to upstage Trixie. She did some shit with a rope, I dont know why but I guess she thought that Trixie couldn't do a simple rope trick, but she was wrong, Trixie proved the pony with apples on her ass wrong, and tied her up to a tree. I stepped up onto the stage, I don't see how she didn't notice me.

The Rainbow pony flew up onto the stage agian, Fuck, this was going to take a toll on my reputation around here, but still, how the fuck do all the ponies not notice a 7 and a half fucking foot tall human on the stage. The Rainbow pony started yelling at Trixie, I had to stop this NOW.

"STOP THIS SHIT!" I yelled at the rainbow maned pony. when she looked at me, her ears went down, and she crouched, like she was about to be attacked.

"IM SICK, OF ALL OF YOU PONIES WHO ARE FUCKING MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR HER TO DO WHAT SHE DOES FOR A FUCKING LIVING. Now, im not saying shes not boasting too much, but shes a performer, its what she does to put food on the fucking table. and YOU" I said pointing at the Pegasus on stage who was still cowering for some reason. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT, to get up here, and fucking heckle the hell out of someone who is just trying to entertain some fucking people." I walk over next to Trixie who had a look of Dumbfounded and Surprise on her face. "And YOU" I said as I pointed at Trixie "I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE MAD AT ME FOR INTERRUPTING, but know, that im doing this because I used to perform as well, and I know that hecklers can be a fucking pain. So I want you to continue your performance, and I will make sure no-one comes up here and heckles."

I hopped off of the stage and went to the back of the crowd where I watched the rest of her show.

After her show was over, I started walking away, toward the The Rusty Dagger, I need a few drinks to stop the stress from getting to my head.

When I got to The Rusty Dagger and sat in my regular seat at the bar, I looked up at the bartender, who was named SourTwist, or I call him Patches, because his coat is brown, and his mane is light brown, but his coat has splotches of light brown on it. "Yo, Patches, get me a shot of some Devil's Springs Vodka." I said as I banged my fist on the table. He looked at me with a stern face, as he looked at me with his piercing crimson eyes, which would be really intimidating to a normal pony, but im not a pony, so that shit doesn't phase me. "You already have 200 bits on your bar tab, do you want me to pile this on top of it?" he said as he started to pour the Hazardous drink. "Yea, go ahead, ill pay you back eventually." I said as I wiped the sweat that had been gathered throughout the day, but thus, the day was not over yet, there was still the night.

Patches slid the shot over to me, and I drank it faster than you can say chimichanga "Ugh, Flavored Water" I Muttered to myself as I asked Patches for another. I heard Hoofsteps coming in my direction, and  they were closing in fast. There are three possibilities here, that I can sort out in my head in the few seconds that I have before they arrive directly behind me, or to the side of me.

Possibility One : The Rainbow Pony is back for revenge, and is going to stab me in the back with a prison shiv before I can say anything. I can deal with that easily, but there is a problem with my theory. This place is pretty public, there are at least 5 ponies in here, that's alot of witnesses, so im going to assume that the rainbow pony, who im going to call Lightning because I saw a lightning bolt on her ass, not that I was looking, but I just wanted happened to see it when I was passing by her. So im going to assume that Lightning has some common since and doesn't want to have to kill more than one person to get her revenge, because she would have to abandon everything in order to get a little revenge, that wont even matter.

Possibility Two: It was Pinkie, who saw me come in, I mean, I did see her watching amidst the crowd. I don't see any reason for her to drink though, she seems like a non drinking kinda pony, more like a play-it-safe kinda pony, that only attends parties that have adult chaperone.

Possibility 3: There is a ninja from another dimension, sent here by the Chinese government because ive seen too much of this universe. secretly this universe is run by the Chinese government, and there is nothing the inhabitants can do about it because they don't actually know about it. how do they not know about it? because the ninjas from the government are so stealthy that throughout the many years that this world has existed, they have controlled the government here, with subliminal messaging, or hypnotic ninjas.

But it seems I was wrong, I took another shot as Trixie sat down next to me and asked patches for a beer, heh, light weight.

"Trixie Demands you tell her why you made those ignorant ponies get off the stage and leave her alone." she said in the third person for some reason.

"Your gonna have to drop the fucking act before I answer your question." I knew what she was doing, and I didn't plan on playing along.

She Sighed, "Fine, but don't expect me to talk to you like this when were not getting drunk." she said with a bitter tone.

"I can deal with that" I said as I took my third shot of Devil Springs Vodka. It went down my throat, and made my stomach feel warm, that's when you know its the good shit. "So, Trixie, how did you get into performing?" I asked her as I looked at her badass cape and hat. "Why should I tell you my life story?" she shot back. "Jesus, I just wanted to know why your passion was entertaining people." I responded as I took a forth shot. She looked surprised when I did. "Thats your forth shot of Devils Springs Vodka, that's the strongest stuff in PonyVille, how have you not passed out by now?" she asked me in awe.

"Oh, so im the one who is surprising you?" I said as I took a fifth shot. "My alcohol tolerance is higher than ponies, and this shit is like flavored water until I get to my seventh shot." I took another shot." She looked at me in awe again "Impressive, I don't drink very frequently, its not good for unicorns to drink, it throws off their magic." she said as she took a sip of her beer. "So you ready to tell me?" I said as I took a sixth shot of Vodka, I was starting to feel my buzz coming on. "Tell you what?" she said back to me as she sipped on her beer.

"Tell me why you choose to be a performer." I retorted as I took my seventh shot. I wiped my face as I felt the alcohol going to my head. "Its...." she whispered. "Its what now?" I asked. "Its been my......" she whispered, but the last bit was incomprehensible . "I can hear what your saying, but I cant make out, please, talk at a normal tone" I said with a warm smile.

"If you really want to know, its been my dream to be a world famous performer since I was a filly." she shot back, and then hid her face in her cape. I started laughing a little bit, we have more in common than she would ever think. "What the buck are you laughing at?" she yelled at me "Im Laughing about how much we have in common" I said to her as I signaled Patches to come over to me.

Patches came over to me with a bored look on his face. "What do you need Max?" he asked me. "Patches, will you do me a favor, and put all of her" I pointed at Trixie "drinks onto my tab?" I asked him, getting a surprised look out of him and Trixie.

"Why would you do something like that?" Patches asked."Because I think I just found my second friend" I said as I Took another shot. The room was starting to spin. I looked at Trixie, causing her to blush for some reason. "You consider me a friend?" she said, looking down. "Yes, why do you ask?"  I said, pushing all eight of the shot glasses to the side. "No-one has really called Trixie a friend before, you are the only one. I need to know, Why?" she asked as a tear went down her face. I Leaned over and used my thumb to wipe the tear off of her face. "because you and I have more in common than you might ttthhhink" I said as I slurred my words. "Max, your Drunk." Trixie said, how the hell did she know my name? "Hhhow do you know my name?" I slurred my words again. "I heard Patches Call you it." she said. Smart Girl, I thought as I got up out of my chair. Patches Looked at me, and Nodded "534 Bits" He says as I start to walk away. I hear Hoofsteps behind me, most likely the unicorn I was just talking to.

I pushed the door open and stumbled into the night.

I Heard Hoofsteps behind me.

I wonder if I fed the cat. Wait, I don't have a cat. I wonder whose walking behind me. I turned around to see Trixie walking behind me. "Why are you following me?" I ask as I look back at the blue pony walking behind me. "Because I cant allow you to wander off when your drunk" she said, causing me to give her a warm smile. "Where do you suggggest I go?" I asked her, slightly slurring my words. I stood there with my "What the fuck?" face on, hoping to get a valid answer.

She looked conflicted, But she looked down, and then she looked at me, and said "You can stay with me, its not the biggest place, but I think you will fit." she said, I think that last part was sarcasm, but I could be wrong. "Ok, lead the way miss pony." I said as I stumbled toward her. "Ugh, your in no condition to walk" she said to me as she lifted me with her Magic.

When we got to Trixies place near sugarcube corner, which was smaller than I would have expected, Trixie levitated me to a bed. Wait, what the fuck is happening. A funny smell hit my nose, I had smelled this earlier around sparks when we were at Trixie's show, now to think of it, ive only started smelling it quite recently around the female ponies, Mares I believe.

As I caught another whiff of the smell again, what the fuck is that. I felt my belt being taken off, very forcefully. I looked around and saw that Trixie was giving me bedroom eyes and slowly walking toward me. "OH SHIT" I said as my pants were ripped off. I pulled them back up and threw my legs over the bed, which threw my balance off a hole lot, as I was still pretty fucking drunk. "What are you doing Trixie" I asked as I pulled my pants back up and secured my belt around my waste. she was not directly in front of me, still with those bedroom eyes.  "Just lie back" Trixie said as she pushed be back onto the bed with one hoof, which I found extremely uncomfortable.

I Tried to escape, but every time I tried, she ended up pining me down with her magic. "Why do you resist the great and powerful-" She was interrupted by a grey stallion wearing armor of sorts. "Stop right there" he said as he used his grey magic to lift Trixie off of me. when she was turned around and say the grey stallion, she began to lunge at him,like a tiger at her prey. Her eyes glazed over, she was practically drooling over the stallion, and the smell of what I think was musk was stronger than ever. The grey stallion looked over to me and yelled. "I can't hold her for any longer, you need to run, now." he said sternly. His voice sounded really familiar, but I guess ill find out who he is soon enough.

I took action quickly, as I scanned the small cart or trailer, or whatever the fuck I was in, for some way out.

I Looked around for an exit, the door? no, that's blocked by the two ponies, I looked around a bit more, to find there is a window that I can fit through if I dove through it. It seems like the most reasonable choice at the time, so I did my best Obama   "Not bad" face and ran as fast as I can toward the narrow window. "FUCKIT!" I yelled as I dove into the window, barely making it, but still sliding through just enough to no be harmed. as I flew through the other end of the window, I prepared to roll as I hit the ground, but a scream interrupted my concentration.  I collided with the ground with a "oof."

I spit up a little blood as I felt one of the stitches that was keeping my organs from falling out, rip. I made a note in my head to go back to Redheart about that. I got to my feet and looked where I landed, which happened to be right in front of Sugarcube Corner.

If this wasnt convenient, I dont know what was. I walked up to the building and opened the door to see a blue pony with pink hair, why was I not surprised. "Oh, hello dear, I thought you would come back" she said as she looked down to where she was looking at before. "And how exactly would you know that?" I asked. she laughed a little, than looked up to me and smiled. "Because your going to work for me until you have enough bits to repair the window" she said in a very casual tone as she pointed to the window covered by a tarp. I forgot I broke that, heh, guess it is coming back to bite me in the ass. "Sorry about that, it was a accident" I said as I twiddled my thumbs.

She looked at me with a stern look of maturity, and responsibility, then did something I thought she would never do, she laughed. "Its quite alright dear, now why dont you tell me why you were wondering the streets?" she asked me. "Well, im gonna tell the truth, there was a sex crazed mare coming after me, I just kinda came in here to hide from her so she doesnt get my virginity." I said jokingly as I sat down at one of the tables.

She walked from behind the display counter and sat at the table with me. "I never did get your name, mister..?" she asked

"Im Taylor, Max Taylor" I said in a slick manor as I prepared to ask her about her own name. "My name is Cup Cake, but you can call me Mrs.Cake." she said as if she knew I was going to ask her that very same question. "So Mrs.Cake." I started by getting up "Does anyone else live here?" I asked catching her off guard with that particular question. "Why do you ask that?" she question me. "well, I was just wondering, I mean, there are more than enough rooms here to house you and 5 other people." I said, getting a smile out of Mrs.Cake. "Very Perceptive" she said causing me to give a little half smile, cause I was proud of myself for getting it right. "I live here, along with Mr.Cake, and Pinkie Pie." she said causing me to swallow my gut and my pupils to dilate. "Whats wrong deary?" she asked noticing my behavior. "You got me" I said as I put my hands up in a 'I surrender' manner. "Well, if you must know, Pinkie is kinda my only friend." I said nervously, trying not to give it away too much. she looked at me, narrowed her eyes to something that would make Brock Jealous. "Im Sensing there is something more, but I don't want to pry." she said with a smile.

I leaned back on my chair and put my hands over my face. "No, its fine, I feel like I can trust you with this knowledge. you don't cross me as someone who would go around blabbing secrets" I said as I put my hands in my lap and looked down at my feet. "Ever since I met her, shes kinda been my only good friend, but for some reason, my brain is telling me that I like her more than a friend." I said as I banged on my forehead and continued talking. "Ive never thought this way about anyone in m entire life, and every second I feel this way toward her, I have this burning urge to confess to her, and tell her how I feel, but im not confident she likes me the way that I like her. To tell the truth Mrs.Cake" I said looking her strait in the eyes "Ive been through alot of shit in life, and about ninety percent of it is bad. Of all of that bad shit, I haven't been scared, because I was able to analyze the situation, and know that its going to come out bad, or good, so I know what to expect. But now, this, this" I stuttered, looking for the right words, until I found the right ones. "Predicament, that im in, is completely new to me, hell, ive never been kissed before. tonight was the closest ive ever been to kissing the opposite sex of any species." I finished and put my hands back over my face as I let a few tears drop off of my cheeks. Silence. "I'm scared Mrs.Cake." I said as I looked at her through my hands. She had the look only a worried mother could have. I Closed my eyes again and went over the night, and thought of all of the reasons that Trixie basically attacked me. I put my hands in my lap again. "I gotta get going" I said as I got up and started walking toward the door. I was about to open the door when I heard Mrs.Cake say something right before I did.

"You start in a week, be here at nine o' clock in the morning to start your work." she said as I looked back, tipped my invisible hat, and opened the door to feel the cold night air on my short sleeve shirt and torn jeans.' I really need new clothes' I thought before I was full out the door. "Oh and Max" I heard Mrs.Cake say right before the door was about to close itself. I caught it and said in response "whats up Baws?" in a Bostonian accent. She looked at me with that look of care and responsibility, more of a mothers look when she is teaching her child about something they need to learn in order to go throughout life without a problem. its a really specific look when you think about it. she began to speak while walking toward a light switch. "If you like Pinkie, the best way to handle it, isn't to hide it, if you really want some closure, you should tell her how you feel." she finished by turning the light off, all that lit the room now was the dim light the moon gave off. "Could you turn the lock on your way out dear?" she asked me. I replied with a nod, I looked at the inside part of the door to find 3 things, one that looked like something you would activate a nuclear device with, and the two others look like regular locks. I turned both, waved Mrs.Cake goodbye and headed toward the Library.

When I got to the library, the smell was back, and worse than ever. I observe that all of the windows are boarded over, and the door has practically been removed, and has been replaced with black rocks. "What the fuck?" I whispered to myself as I got closer to the Library, until I was stopped by a magic field. I backed up, and put my hands on my hip. "WHAT THE FUCK SPARKS, ARE YOU MAD AT ME OR SOMETHING!?!" I Yelled my question, only to get a series of bangs, and shudders from the house. "GO AWAY MAX, I DONT WANT YOU HERE RIGHT NOW, GO AWAY!" she yelled back. I heard more bangs and shudders. "NO IM NOT GOING AWAY TILL YOU TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG" I yelled, hoping to get a little closure on what I did wrong, and how I can fix it. I still considered Sparks a friend, I want to keep it that way. I heard more bangs, and shuffles coming through the walls of the Dimly lit library. I heard some mumbling, then something that could only be identified as a wale trying to contact aliens. MAX, YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW, YOU DONT BELONG HERE, YOU SHOULD JUST-" she was stopped by what sounded like a hammer nailing wood. "GO NOW, GO INTO THE EVERFREE FOREST, AND NEVER COME BACK." she said. I single tear dropped from my face. " I got up against the magic shield, and pressed my face against it. "Twilight" I started. "Please, tell me whats wrong" I said, sort of stroking the magic shield. I was crying now, one of my friends hated me now. I'm a monster because of what I did earlier today. I should have let them do what they needed to. the only thing I got out of it was someone I thought I could call a friend.

I Backed up from the shield, and looked around. "Maybe I should go into the Everfree forest" I said to myself as I started walking in a random direction.

I did alot of thinking, and walking while I was walking through town, and I think Sparks is right. I dont belong here, I should have stayed at Earth, where I belong. But I had feelings for someone here. yes, I did have feelings for a pony, is it wrong? no its not, but there is something that im not accounting for, that I still dont know whether she actually has feelings for me. a wise man, well robot once said, "Emotions are stupid, and should be hated." I agree with that robot. If I didnt have emotions, I wouldn't be here right now. actually, the fact that I do have emotions makes me useless. I took my blood and tear stained shirt off and threw it into a bush, exposing all of the scars that adorn on my upper body. I look up to see where my wander feet brought me, and what do you know, a dark, silent, intimidating forest. I took an audible gulp, and started walking forward at a normal pace.

Everything here was just so, I cant find the word for it. im going with untamed, cause that sounds right. as I walked through the untamed forest, I saw the occasional squirrel, and that was odd to me, its not like I was intimidating, or covered in blood,scars and stitches to show how much shit ive been through. I have to give it to myself, beside my ripped jeans, I look pretty badass right- my thought process was interrupted by a large roar coming from behind me. One that would most likely belong to a lion. "Oh shit" is said as I turned around to face a lion. but this wasn't just a lion, this motherfucker had wings, and a huge ass stinger. to sum it up, im either gonna get really lucky, and kick its ass with kung fu, or im so fucked it would make a prostitute jealous.

It looked at me with hunger in its eyes. I need to run, but I cant, I know I cant get away from this thing without leading it back to the town, and that would just further Sparks' theory that im a monster, and I don't belong here. I made the scariest face I could, and in my best Dark Knight Joker impression."Hello, little kitty, I know you want to eat me" I said as I grabbed a stick that seemed sharp off of the ground. it looked confused, but it held its ground. 'Time to bring out the crazy' I thought as a little voice inside me yelled "FUCK YEA!". I Kept my impression, which impressed me a little, because I sounded like Heath Ledger. I Closed my eyes, which I know isnt the best idea when your facing an animal that will instinctively attack you if you take your eyes off of it. I shouldn't have done that because next thing I knew I was on the ground with a stinger in my chest. I started laughing and pulled the stinger out and threw it, effectively hitting the lion-thing in the face. I was still laughing hysterically, and bleeding profusely out of my chest. I looked the lion-thing strait in the face, and saw that it was even angrier now.

I Looked the Lion thing in the eye, still keeping my impression up. "I see you've got a little fight in you." I said as I coughed up some blood. "I like that" I said as I jumped at it, and grabbed the hair inside of its ears, and tore it out. effectively damaging its hearing and balance. It roared even louder, which made me laugh even more hysterically. I yelled at it to come at me, but it ran away. "I guess im just that badass" I thought out loud. but when I heard a snarl behind me, I knew I was in some deep shit. I turned around to find some sorta stick beasts. I mean they looked like wolves, but they were made out of sticks. its kinda like china decided to take over nature and wanted to make wolves out of the cheapest material possible, so they threw a rock and it hit a stick. thus the Branch Wolf was created. I started to walk backwards, but I felt my movements slowing. im pretty sure I lost a shit ton of blood when I got stabbed with that stinger. "I wonder if that stinger was poison?" the voice of reason asked me. but the voice of insanity was in control metaphorically, not literally. "No, I can keep fighting" I said to myself as I looked how many Branch Wolves there were, 5-6 maybe. Well, im fucked, I have no way out of this, unless "SOMEONE COMES AND SAVES ME!" I yelled out loud hoping someone would hear me. "No Dice I said to myself as I noticed the Branch Wolves getting closer, and in a prowling position. OK, Here is the part where I run as fast as I can, as far as I can.

Well, I guess Parkour camp had its benefits, but 2 of the Branch Wolves are still in hot pursuit on me. I Vaulted over a branch in my way, and it broke under my weight , causing me to fall down to the ground. My movements were still slowing,  they caught up to me 3 times, I managed to fend them off for a little, but they still cut me up pretty bad. I had bite marks on both of my wrists, and all down my arms, im pretty sure I should have bled out by now, but I guess the only thing keeping me alive is the adrenaline. I Got back up, only to be caught by one of the Branch Wolves "Oh Shit!" I yelled as I punched it in the face with all the energy I could muster up. this caused it to whimper and run away, for some reason. There was still one Branch Wolf on me, and it was coming up fast, "SHITSHITSHITSHIT!" I yelled as I got to my feet and began running. running felt like my feet were anvils, and my vision grew darker every time I fell. I could barely see 10 feet in front of me as I sprinted with all of my might through the dense forest, with the occasional branch to slap me in the face and give me yet another cut to bleed from. "HOW" I yelled as I Kong Vaulted over a fallen tree. "AM" I yelled again as I slid on the dirt under another low hanging branch that was too big for me to move. "I" I yelled once more as I Vaulted over another tree. "ALIVE!" I yelled as I unexpectedly came out into a river clearing.

I Looked around and saw no opportunities to hide, so I guess the only opportunity is to swim across it. the persistent ass Branch Wolf came out of the forest and into the clearing and howled. "ALRIGHTY THEN!" I yelled in my best Ace Ventura Impression, as I dove headfirst into the river. I cant say that the water didnt feel good, but I didnt. as I swam through it, I was screaming very loudly with every stroke. as I crossed the river I looked back to see if the Branch Wolf followed, luckily he didn't, all he did with his bitchass self is stay on the other side of the river.

As I reached the other side of the river, I threw myself onto the dirt, and dragged myself further onto land until I was too tired to do anything.

Well, this is how it ends.

I closed my eyes, and opened them, and it was fucking NIGHT. it was just fucking day, maybe it will work again if I close my eyes again. I closed my eyes again, BAM, it was day. Im getting pretty good at this time travel stuff. I looked down at my legs, and tried to move them, no dice. "Haha!" I yelled as I made rolled my eyes at the universe.

You know in hind sight I should have kept my big fucking mouth shut. Well around here it's hard to tell if that would have screwed me or not. Because right then I found myself face to fucking face with something that looks like if you gave a snake a chickens head and wings. What the fuck universe? It was right about then I felt some snapping pain into my eyes as my body didn't quite go numb but stiff. The world around turned to gray then black. It felt like I was in some kind of void for a bit before the form of Celestia came to me, giving me the feeling of warmth and care.

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