Dankworld
(Pony Edition)
~Prologue: A Forest and The Stars~

Thank you for buying this copy of Dankworld! Through your adventures in the land of Equestria, you will experience LOVE, ADVENTURE, and FULFILLMENT. You will, on the other hand, experience DECEIT, HATRED, and WAR. It is also possible that you will find LUST, or PLEASURE or perhaps a great deal of SORROW.
But it is also possible you will experience none of these things.
The story is your own, and your life is your own.
You are to live your life as you would most want to, but you must also bound over the challenges hurled at you, or at least pass them without fucking up yourself or those around you.
Or, do not do that.
It's really your call.
But before you enter the world of the ponies, we must know...
Are you a MALE or a FEMALE?
Male
Please enter commands using the > key.
>Male
So you're a male then, a fine choice.
Now, are you an EARTH PONY, a PEGASUS, or a UNICORN?
>Unicorn
So you have decided on a MALE UNICORN, have you? Well, we don't judge.
Now then, what is your name?
>Token DePype
Hah, clever, aren't you? And you're sure this is what you want your name to be?
>No
Well, stop wasting our time and pick a different name!
>Doctor Whooves.
We can end this session whenever we like, don't tempt us. Pick a different name.
>Joint Puffington
Hah, clever, aren't you? And you're sure this is what you want your name to be?
>No
Well, we'll give you one more chance. Now please enter your name.
>Spencer
Then it is decided: You are a MALE UNICORN who is called SPENCER.
Keep in mind, you may achieve this form with haste, but you may also... not.
Again, it is what you make of it. This cannot be stressed enough.
Are you satisfied with these choices?
>Sure, I don't see why not.
Well okay then! You are about to leave no apple unbucked and transcend to the realm of the ponies.
Put on your headphones, turn off the lights, and check the medicine cabinet.
For it is sure to be a bumpy ride.
* * *
You awaken, outstretched on your back on some dirt clumps with the uncomfortable feeling of pinecones beneath your back. The air around you is that of a cool summer night, and the STARS glimmer above with an unusual radiance.
These CONSTELLATIONS look unfamiliar to you, but to be honest you've never really looked towards the sky on the good night and actually viewed them.
Last night was a blur. You remember something about... a CYAN RING, some gaming, and a whole bunch of MARY JANE. The night was a party, and you and your three buddies were having a great time shouting at DRAGONS and sparring with ROBOTS, CHILDREN, and THAT GUY FROM 300. But you have no recollection of entering any forest and then falling asleep there, nor being alone while you did so. What the hell was going on?
>Inspect fingers for cyan ring
Just as amazing as they always were. I mean, think about it... fingers, man.
However, the ring you are certain you placed on your finger last night is missing. Damn shame.
>Recall how the ring looked
The best way to describe would be saying it looked like the ONE RING that Gollum was always obsessing over, but it was... cyan. However, a small latin phrase was inscribed onto it, but you didn't and still don't know what it means. After all, you had just found the RING yesterday...
>Stand up
You get to your feet and brush yourself off. You are all dirty, thanks to your more-or-less dirt nap.
>Check pockets
OH GLORIOUS DAY! You find, in your INVENTORY (which in this point in time are your pockets) a stack of 25 ROLLING PAPERS, 12 grams of a cannabis sativa strain you call “The Chronic of Narnia”, two half used LIGHTERS and your lovely, lovely pipe which you love so very, very much named ANAKLOUSMOS.
You also find a CELL PHONE (with no service) and a generic MP3 player (with no battery). Your gigantic and bass-fantastic headphones are nowhere to be seen.
And a wallet, filled with 33 DOLLARS and your ID.
>Check inventory
We just went over this.
>Check equipment
You have on a HUMOROUS SHIRT, a PLAIN SWEATSHIRT, a pair of JEANS, some BLACK SOCKS, and some RUNNING SHOES, even though you walk in them and seldom do any form of fast movement.
>Inspect shirt
The shirt boasts a picture of your country's LONE STAR STATE, with the caption “Let's Mess with Texas”. Not a day goes by where you don't laugh your ass off at this article of clothing.
>Look around
Around you features a clusterfuck of trees with their spookiness enhanced by 420% because of the darkness. Let's hope for your sake there are no monsters lurking about. You also see an old FOREST PATH, so you aren't at a complete loss. Just mostly so.
Don't worry about it, you aren't likely to be eaten by a grue.
>Travelify down the path.
From where you stand, just off the side of the path, you create a fork. You could go LEFT down the PATH, or RIGHT.
>Take a left and walk down the path
This place is creepy as hell, so you are glad to be departing it with haste.
And by “haste” we mean “9 commands and a bunch of words after you got here”.
Luckily, within a few minutes the forest becomes somewhat less dense and you what looks to be a bright and gleaming CITY. From this far off, you've no idea what the city actually is, but this place is obviously a very small town in the middle of nowhere.
Just your luck.
You stop at what you estimate is a mile away from the city and try to get a better look. No dice.
>Celebrate with a victory toke
You roll up a half gram of your Chronic, and light it up. After all, you did just escape a somewhat eerie demise, you suppose. Your first and final drag is paired with the feeling of a large blunt object smashing the back of your head.
And then you see nothing.
~End Prolouge~