Sombra Raising

“Okay. So I will keep him here and you will come over as often as you can to babysit with me? That might work. Best part is my mom is almost never home and my dad is away on a business trip.” Jed said as he placed the sleeping Sombra on his pillow.

“Yeah sounds good.” DJ said as he looked around Jed’s ‘ground zero’ of a room. “And now that we have that accomplished what are you going to do to keep him fed and make sure he uses the bathroom?”

“Um.... Well. I guess I could teach him how to use the toilet..... And I could sneak food to him throughout the day. The problem is when I am at school.” Jed said lightly petting Sombra’s mane. “Hey feel this little guy! he is so freaking soft!”

DJ gets up from his spot on Jed’s chair and comes and pets Sombra’s mane. “Holy crap you’re right dude!” DJ exclaims as he continues petting his mane. “You know I also got to ask.” DJ points to Sombra’s horn, “Is this guy a unicorn and if he is how are we going to teach him it?”

“Teach him what? It’s not like he can use magic or anything.” Jed snorted while trying to stifle a chuckle. “That is ridiculous dude! Pfft... heh heh... Magic.”

As if god is attempting to smite Jed, Sombra does a adorable sneeze then suddenly a bolt of magic comes from his horn and burns part of his jacket off. “You were saying...?” DJ says with a victory grin on his face.

“Well for one that was a little warmer than I like. And two.... Shut up.” Jed said giving DJ a two second glare before looking back to Sombra who was just snoring. “Well.... We have one thing to plan for now.”

“And what's that?” DJ asks still sporting his victory grin.

“To.... Help him use magic.” Jed grumbled. “Hope you get blasted when you help teach him.”

This time the gods back Jed up as Sombra sneezes again and lets loose another bolt, this time it ricochets off a conveniently placed mirror and hits DJ in his nethers. “AHHH MY D!”

Jed just snickers before laughing out loud and gently patting Sombra on the head. “Good boy! Very nice shot!”

After about 30 seconds of withering in pain on the floor, DJ manages to pull himself up. “NNRRGGHH lucky shot Sombra.” Sombra just continues to lie there and sleep.

“Lucky shot my white chocolate ass. That was karma, bitch!” Jed said poking DJ in the shoulder.

“I ever tell you how much karma's a bitch?” DJ asks sarcastically while continuing to hold his junk.

“Yeah she just left me a message saying ‘I’m a bitch, bitch!’.“ Jed says with a shit eating grin.

“Oh go to hell Jed.” Dj says in a playful tone. “Well at least my nuts don’t hurt no more.” As if karma is not done with him, he step on some sort of petal and that launches a Styrofoam rocket at his nuts. “FFFFFFFUUUU...” screams DJ as he falls to the floor again holding his nuts.

“Pffffft... HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA!” Jed laughed merrily as he fell on the bed and launching Sombra onto his stomach. He gets the wind knocked out of him, but doesn’t stop laughing. “Oh god! That was priceless!”

“Fuck...you...karma!” DJ wheezed as his nuts felt like Grifs after Tex beats them senseless in Season 8 of Red Vs. Blue.

“Oh god stop making me laugh!” Jed gasped out. He settled down a bit and sat up before picking Sombra up and putting him back on the pillow. “This is why I never let anyone in my room.”

“Yeah I see why, its a deathtrap for other peoples groins.” Dj said with a deadpanned tone.

“Yeah.... Kinda is.” Jed says before going to his closet and pulling out a snow shovel. “Shall I clear a path?”

“No I would like you to hit me with it in the head.” DJ said as he had on the perfect ‘You-Don’t-Say’ face.

“Okay.” Jed says lightly smacking DJ on the head with the shovel before pulling a fairly large box out of his closet as well and placing it out of eyesight from DJ.

“What’s in the box Jed?” DJ asks, trying to look over Jed’s shoulder but failing miserably.

“Nothing. I just scoop everything up and pour it into this box before shoving it back into the recesses of my closet.” Jed said plainly before beginning to do exactly as he said.

In about ten seconds flat the entire room is cleaned. “Wow not bad.” DJ looks back at the bed and finds the baby unicorn is awake. “Oh hey Jed, Sombras’ awake. And he looks hungry.”

“O Really?” Jed said looking out of his closet. He walks out and closes it before walking over to the bed and petting Sombra’s head. “Hey I will keep him from getting out. Can you go grab some carrots or celery? You know... Some veggies. He is a pony after all. Can’t just feed him cookies and milk.” Jed said snickering.

“Yeah ok.” DJ heads out the room and heads into the kitchen and opens the fridge. “Hey Jed! Which drawer do you keep your veggies in?” DJ asks, yelling from the kitchen.

“Should be right under the juices and milk!” He yelled from the room. “Also please hurry! He is chewing on my fingers!”

“I don’t see...oh wait...wait...I found them!” DJ yelled as he walks back into the room with a few carrot and celery sticks. “Here you go.” DJ hands Jed the plate.

“Um dude...” Jed deadpans and he looks to the pony currently chewing on his fingers. “I can’t take the plate.”

DJ facepalms at his own stupidity. “Sorry, sorry.” He sits on the bed close to Sombra and holds out a carrot stick. “Here you go little guy.” Sombra stops chewing on Jed’s fingers and looks at the carrot. Then he wraps his hooves around it and starts nibbling on it.

“Ow....” Jed said looking to his slightly mauled hand. “At least we can tell when he is hungry now.”

“Yeah no kidding.” As fast as he got the carrot Sombra down another one and then he starts eating the celery. “Dang look at the kid go! He can really eat!” DJ said with a look of surprise. “Not even I can eat that fast when I’m hungry!”

“Yeah no kidding. Little guy must have been starved.” Jed said gently scratching Sombra’s head as he ate. “Hey you watch him. I am going to go get a pop for myself. You want one?”

“Yeah sure.” DJ said he he scratched behind Sombra’s ear.

“Want do you want?” Jed asks.

“Whatever you got is fine.” DJ replies continuing to scratch behind Sombra’s ear.

“Right... If he starts to chew on your fingers tell me and I will get more carrots.” Jed said walking out of his room and into the kitchen again. He grabbed four sodas of Coke and Dr.Pepper. Then he grabbed a bag of Nacho Doritos before heading back and closing his door. “Alright. Take your pick.”

DJ grabs a can of Coke and Dr. Pepper and a handful of Doritos. “Thanks Jed.

“Yeah no problem.” Jed says sitting on the bed on the opposite side of Sombra, who was still munching on the celery. Well... What was left of it anyway. “Hmmmm.... Hey DJ. I know that this is kinda irresponsible... But should we let him have some soda?”

“Hmmm...Sure why not what can possibly go wrong?” DJ says sporting a smile.

“Yeah good point.” Jed said opening his Cola and hold it out for Sombra. “Here you go little guy. Go on! Take a sip!”

Sombra just sniffs it for a second before slowly using his hooves to help tip the can. He sips as the soda comes out and takes a small drink before smacking his lips. Jed just looks to DJ, who just shrugs in response, and then he looks back down to Sombra.

“Huh.... Thought it might have more of a ef-” Before Jed could finish his sentence Sombra jumped up and latched onto his face like the first time Jed saw him. “AAAAUGH!! MY FACE!”

DJ just sits there and starts laughing. “Pffft....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA karma’s a bitch isn’t she!” DJ says laughing his ass off.

“Oh fuck you.” Jed said flipping him off. Unfortunately he ended up flipping the wall off, due to a pony attached to his face. He just sighed and grabbed Sombra before pulling him off. As soon as he did, he saw the damage the drink had done to the poor pony. He was smiling like he was crazy, his whole body was twitching spasticaly, and his eyes were as if he had a light shined in his eyes.

“Damn..... This is what happens when you drink soda for the first time?” Jed said looking at Sombra. “I hope he doesn’t mind the god awful caffeine/sugar crash he is gonna have later.”

Sombra then bites one of Jed’s fingers. “MOTHER FU.....” Jed winces and bites his lip to not scream out in pain. “Son of a bitch... That hurts.”

Jed ends up dropping him, allowing Sombra to use his magic to teleport out of the room and somewhere else in the house.

“Oh shit!” DJ says with a look of shock.

“Oh come on! I drink soda and I get hyper. He drinks soda and somehow gains more magic using knowledge!? So unfair!” Jed yells running out the room with DJ.

Author's Notes:

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!