The Forgemaster invited the still sputtering Shining Armor into the house, and then gallantly proclaimed to the rest of the living room that 'Her Royal Highness has graced their poor sanctuary with her most benevolent presence'. Princess Cadence quickly assumed her role in the play that was The Forgemaster's bullshit, and gracefully entered the room with a poise and elegance that only born rulers had. She held her head high and closed her eyes in a stunning impersonation (Imponyation?) of a pompous, arrogant ass-hat as she walked, stiff legged, to the dining table.

She assumed her place at the table, and awaited another to push her chair in, which The Forgemaster stepped in to do. Shining Armor took the open seat, Rainbow was already in her's, and Simba was... somewhere...

The Forgemaster draped a white linen towel over his forearm and held the arm over his stomach. He approached her from the side and said in a dry, English accent, “What will madam be having this evening?”

Of course, the food was actually on the table already, but Princess Cadence still played her part, “I would like a hay and cheese sandwich, accompanied with a salad and garnished with wheat. For my beverage, I would enjoy a nice bottle of fine wine. And perhaps a small selection of cinnamon sticks, and perhaps a pastry.”

As previously stated, all of the food was already on the table. The cinnamon sticks, the 'pastries', which were really just cupcakes, the salad, the wine, even the sandwiches. Cadance just picked out food options from the table.

Nevertheless, The Forgemaster bowed and said, “Of course madam, your meal shall be ready presently.”

He then reached over and placed the foods she had asked for on her plate.  He religiously ignored Shining Armor questioning glance and tried not sweating under Rainbow's very obvious glare. He had not treated her in the same manner, but then again, she did not come to his house as a princess and go along with his bullshit, so fair's fair.

He then retreated to the safety of his own chair (Rainbow was trying to burn him alive with her eyes! Her adorable, adorable eyes!). He looked up across the table and noted Princess Cadence’s good table manners: she had yet to touch her meal while the others were waiting to be served. He was, however, not going to serve them. They had arm, er, hoof things, they could get their own food.

He graciously allowed Shining Armor and Rainbow to pile their plates with food before beginning to eat his own meal. While all present were busy eating their meal, The Forgemaster took upon the great responsibility of making the meal a social event rather than a boring Tuesday. That meant conversation, usually of the bland, self-defeating kind that no one wants to continue after a while because it just gets awkward.

“I suppose introductions are in order.” The Forgemaster began, dropping the accent, “But you already know each other.”

Cadence sighed, “I suppose that does ruin the purpose of introductions.”

The Forgemaster nodded, “Too true.”

Silence reigned, broken only by the sounds of utensils clanging against dishes. It was getting unbearable, after only a few seconds. Centuries taught patience, but he wanted his precious now!

“So Cadence... what is it that you do, exactly?” The Forgemaster carefully asked.

Cadence looked up from her meal, “Well... I’m a princess.”

“Yes, yes, I know.” he said impatiently, “But what exactly do you do?”

After a moment, Rainbow cut in, “I think he's asking what your special talent is.”

She blinked in realization, “Oh, well, my special talent is love. Spreading it, sharing it, strengthening it.”

He nodded excitedly, “What kind of love?”

“Oh, all kinds.” she smiled proudly.

His sudden goofy grin wasn't lost on her. She sighed and mumbled, “Yes, even that kind of love.”

His grin only grew, “So, you're a lo~ve spreadin' kind of girl... I like that.” He paused for a few moments, and put a hand to his chin in thought, “At the risk of sounding crass, how freaky does it get?”

“Excuse me?” Hehe, them wide eyes looked so cute...

“You know... Bananas and Cream... Bury the Bone, Dip your Stinger in Honey, the Mattress Jig, the Beast with 2 Backs, or 1 as traditional pony love would be. C'mon, you've probably heard these ones before...”

Cadence groaned... as did Shining, but Rainbow chuckled (It used to say giggle, but was changed under threat of assault by a poly-chromatic pegasus).

Cadence said, “Yes, I've heard some o-”

“Dirty Work at the Crossroads, Do the Nasty, Fit End to End, Fix her Plumbing, the Four-Legged Frolic, Get Jack in the Orchard... I bet Applejack would love, or more likely hate, that one. Park Your Yacht in Hair Harbor, Get Your Oil Changed, a Hot Roll with Cream, Mix Your Peanut Butter, Play Hide the Bone, Polish Your Rocket, Roasting the Broomstick, Shoot Between Wind and Water, Squat Jumps in the Cucumber Patch, The Disappearing Cane Trick, Tooling in the Woods, Tops and Bottoms-”

“Enough!” Shiny and Cadence yelled at the same time, both thoroughly upset with his constant euphemisms.

“I'm sure that you're all very enthusiastic about what my job can sometimes entail. But, I never really have to use that side of my abilities, more usually inspiring love will lead to the... other matters.” Cadence explained.

“But you still have to use them sometimes, right?” The Forgemaster asked.

She sighed, “Sometimes, yes, but only on the very shy or very prudish.”

He nodded understandingly, “Yeah, I know what you mean. You have to be careful with love though, you never really want a love potion to end up in the city's municipal water system. Thankfully, the water diluted the potion, though the entire city turned into an orgy for a few hours... At least it wasn't permanent. In hindsight, I really shouldn't have followed Batman down there, especially not with a super-concentrated love potion. Why did I have a super-concentrated love potion you ask? Well... I’m not quite sure... It was just a passing whim, to do it solely to see if could. As I understand it, I was a wanted criminal in Gotham when they found out. A healthy donation to the city and a promise not to release any of the videos I took was all I needed to do to get out of that one. Ah, good times. Bats hated me for a little while after that. It's not like he started having sex in the middle of the streets, so why is he complaining? Of course, the sudden population spike 9 months later, and the subsequent push for a larger and more advanced maternity ward, was completed unconnected.” he completed his tale with a flourish of his hands.

“You certainly have your stories, don't you sir?” Shining Armor asked.

“Eeeyup.” he drawled out, then he barked out a laugh, “Looks like you landed a great girl, Shiny! I wish-” he stopped when he saw the literal death in Rainbow's eyes. But it was adorable.

The Shiny Git blushed, “I know, she's too good for me.”

The Forgemaster sighed, “I remember being young and... actually I don't remember being young and in love. I remember being old and in love. That was the best, because I could have sex. And drugs and, coincidentally, rock 'n roll.” he nodded sagely, as though he had revealed a great truth.

The others were admittedly put off by his words, but eventually decided that he was correct.

“So when's the wedding?” he asked, eager to change the subject lest he bore them with his rants about the good-ole days.

“Oh, it's in 11 days, the Thirteenth.” Shining Armor informed him.

The Forgemaster winced, “That's not a good day to have a wedding.”

“Why not?”

“It's bad luck. Something might happen.” the Forgemaster explained.

Rainbow said, “Superstitious monkey.” like she didn't live in a fantasy world with talking ponies and other mystical creatures. And magic, though he also had magic. He just couldn't wait until he saw a hippogriff, the spawn of a griffon and a pony. Those things have got to be cool looking.

Cadence added, “I'm sure nothing will happen.”

The Forgemaster shook is head, he muttered, “Blind fools.” He paused for a moment, “That reminds me, I’m invited, right?”

Shining Armor laughed nervously, “Well, we're having it at the palace... And that's where you work, so... Yes?”

The fork in The Forgemaster's grip suddenly bent, “If I am anything short of your best man or the minister himself, I will be upset.” The Forgemaster deadpanned.

“Since when are you 2 best friends?” Cadence asked, her eyes darting between the 2 in confusion.

Without even looking at her, he said, “I am also Crimson Hammer, amongst many other people and places, I introduced you, I am his commanding officer, I invite him over for poker night, I covered for him all those times he deserted his post to visit you, I invited him over for dinner, I trained him to be good at his job, I gave him the money he used for the rings, I gave him a hug that one time for no reason, I gave him relationship advice, though it probably didn't work out very well, I gave him half of my lunch when he forgot his 67 days ago, I generously offered to improve him through the use of experimental surgery, though he turned it down, I made him a sword, sometimes I put Viagra in his drink when I know he'll be visiting you, I tilted all of the paintings in the hallway when he was bored, just to give him something to do,” Shining Armor groaned and muttered something about a wicked headache and vertigo, “And I am planning the bachelor party... I'd like to think of us as friends.”

Shiny just stared at his plate, likely fighting back the memories he repressed into his psyche, Cadence was doing her best impersonation of a fish, (marvelous by the way), and Rainbow...

“You are also places?” she asked, incredibly confused. Her brows were furrowed and her lip was sticking out... it was so adorable. He just wanted to hug her until- easy bro, easy, don't want to fly off the handle.

He slumped his shoulders, “I don't really want to talk about it. It wasn't a nice time for me.”

SCENE CHANGE!!!!

It was a fun dinner, all things considered. They destroyed all of his Girl Scout Cookies (Infinite Sadness), but his stash remained intact. They eventually got slightly drunk... so yeah, there's that. Shenanigans ensued though no one died. All in all, a good night's work for The Forgemaster. He had a good time, Rainbow only wanted to kill him a little, and he learned all about a love princess lady man-handler. Also; don't tell nobody but, she's the Dom, he's the Sub.

He even got to test out one of his awesome potions! What kind of potion you ask? Well, it was a transformation potion! Guaranteed-one-use-instant-turn-something-into-a-human-juice. A little bit useless on Earth, to be completely honest, but he had always wanted to see what a dog would do in a human body. THAT had been entertaining. It took a bit of work to find the ingredients, mostly because the stupid ponies named the ingredients some other name. Seriously with cities like Detrot, Baltimare, Fillydelphia, Canterlot, and Salt Lick City (He had DIED when he heard that one, thankfully ole Grimmy the Reaper owed him one) you'd figure that the names of plants would be at least similar, but nope. It took him days to figure out, Zecora had been a great help. He'd describe the plant and she'd name it off like a damn dictionary of plants and vegetation.

Anyways, who else to give said human potion to but Rainbow Dash? Well, after she stopped trying to gouge his eyes out with her BLUNT HOOVES! It had hurt so badly, so very, very badly! But then he realized he could close his eyes, and did so. Then he checked for an eye infection (those hooves get EVERYWHERE! Heh, get it?)

Anyways, there he was, potion in hand.

“Hey Dashie,” He offered the potion to her, “Drink this.”

She eyed the concoction dubiously, and he really didn't blame her. It didn't exactly look like mountain spring water if you know what I mean. Imagine radioactive waste, turned blue, and then crammed into a bottle. That's his awesome potion of the day.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It's a potion that will turn you into a human for about... 3 hours.” he told her.

She looked at the proffered potion again, said potion did little to reassure her of its good intentions when a bubble burst against the stopper... and then the stopper started sizzling as though dipped in acid.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Positive.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I tested it on Simba.” he said with a grin.

“And where's he now?”

“In the basement, he turned back into a human about 12 minutes ago. I didn't want him to freak out anyone, also he's a wee bit miffed I put it in his food without telling him.”

She thought on it for a few moments, “Will it hurt?”

“I'm told it tingles. Like, really bad too, like you whacked your funny bone with a sharp-pointed hammer.”

“Hmm...” she thought once more, she seems to rarely do that... but she is now, let's make the most of it!

“What kind of human will I become?”

“You would look like you would as if you were born a human. That's really it. More specifically, you'd be a girl, a woman, with an athletic build, rainbow colored hair, arms, legs, a nose, all the things that humans have.”

“Alright.” she said, “Give it here.”

He handed it to her, “Make sure to drink all of it,” he advised, “You might explode... Kidding, kidding.”

He dodged the punch she threw at him.

She held the vial in one hoof, gazing at it one last time. She then lifted it to her lips and bit the stopper off before spitting it off to the side, she then downed the vial in one gulp.

He was right, judging by the groaning Rainbow couldn't stop, that the potion did indeed tingle on a level above and beyond any massage chair ever. Poor thing, changing your body structure never felt good, magic or no magic. Even transforming into a pony tingled something fierce, you get used to it, but such an advanced transformation would be especially intense on a first-timer. And, coincidentally, that IS what she said. His original transformation teacher had been a priestess and she had told him that.

It was a gradual process, not like the spells. With a spell you were transformed in a small poof of smoke and then you were different. But a potion was a different subset of magic dickery, and it operated by different rules.

Still, 12 or so minutes later and the process was done. He was just happy to have the foresight to have her sit on the bed while she took the potion. She was already uncomfortable, there's no use being a dick and having her do it on the hardwood floors in his kitchen.

She twitched for a little bit, still conscious but getting acquainted with a new nervous system. A few more minutes of that and she sat up, holding her head from a powerful headache.

He was right in his predictions. Though she had wings, he hadn't predicted that. A bit stupid of him not to, seeing as how he had his wings, but nevertheless: she had awesome wings as a human. Just the same as her normal ones, only they were much, much larger. Same hair color too, same hairstyle as well. She had an athletic build, just as she had as a pony. Also: she was naked, prompting a silly grin from The Forgemaster.

She groaned roughly, still holding her head, “Is it finally over?”

“Yes Dashie, and now you're an awesome human like me!” he gave a thumbs up and everything, but she was still distracted by the aches.

He gave her a glass of water, which she took gratefully. Only to immediately drop it because hands don't work

that way silly girl. She shook her head to clear away the pain and, surprisingly, it seemed to work as her eyes focused on him and she stopped holding the side of her head.

Then she noticed his goofy grin.

“What's so funny?” she demanded, narrowing her eyes in anger.

He just pointed at her, “You have boobs.” he pointed out.

“What're boobs?” she asked.

She looked down at herself to follow the direction his finger was pointing and saw 2 things protruding from her upper front part.

“What the hay are these things!?” she demanded them, grabbing them with an almighty SMACK.

The Forgemaster stifled a pleased groan, seeing her grab herself was almost too much.

“They are you boobs... your breasts... uh... mammary glands? Teats?” he informed her, unsure on how exactly to answer.

Her eyes widened, “Really!? These huge things?” she grabbed them again, and looked them over thoroughly while he still looked on with a stupid, goofy grin.

They weren't very huge, at least not to him or any humans. They were a fairly modest size that fit her 5 foot frame. She was also naked, did I mention that? Come to think of it, she still had her cutie mark: emblazoned boldly on each hip.

“You're beautiful.” he told her honestly.

“Aw, thanks.” AW! She was so adorable when she was being bashful.

She then tried to stand up, unsuccessfully. Learning how to walk on 2 legs while constantly using 4 previously is quite a shock. Surprisingly, she didn't try to hover in mid air as she was wont to do. He really hoped she didn't try to fly, that would be killer on everything in this bedroom: the sheets, the shelves.

He gently held her on her feet, and guided her back to the bed. This time she stayed put.

He pointed towards the mirror on the wall that he had set up for this experiment.

“Whoa...” she breathed out.

She gazed into the mirror and started touching her face as though checking it was really her. Her violet eyes really stood out on her human face. It just wasn't a color humans had, unless they were Cadian.

He noticed something, “Hey, what's that?” he pointed to the small nick on her chin.

She grinned, “Oh that, I almost forgot about that. You can't see it under my coat very well. It's a small scar I got when I was just a little filly messing around.” She laughed, “I learned a lesson that day: always stick the landing.”

He frowned, “But you rarely do.”

She shoved him off the bed, “Shut up!”

As she was looking back into the mirror after shoving him, she found that she had missed something in her earlier inspections. How could she miss something as awesome as her wings!?

She immediately turned to the side, to better see them, unknowingly giving The Forgemaster a show from where he was on the floor.

“Whoa, these things are so cool!” she exclaimed, “They've got to be like 16 feet across!”

He nodded, “Yep, that's the kind of wingspan you need to fly as a human, apparently.”

She frowned into the mirror, “I don't think I'd be very fast with these, these look more like soaring wings than flapping wings. A pegasus can only go so fast by gliding.”

“Well, it'll only last like 3 hours anyway. Then you can go back to your awesome flappy-wings.”

She chuckled at him, “I can't even hover because I'd destroy your room.”

“Wings this size will do that.” he pointed out, to which she nodded.

She thought for a few moments, “So this last for 3 hours right?” she asked.

“Give or take a few minutes, why?”

“Well, since I can't walk. And these wings are too big to fly in here... Why don't we do something more fun?” she said with a grin that was either lust or mischievousness, or maybe mischievous lust...

Truly terrifying.