All things considered, that was a good night. Rainbow got a new experience, and The Forgemaster received a new-iteration of an old, though still very much enjoyable, experience. Of course, there were a few... mishaps.

For instance, humans have gag-reflexes. Ponies do not. I'll just let you imagine how that one turned out.

That's... really the only thing that was out of the ordinary... Besides the whole... 'Pony turned human and then sex' thing, it was totally normal. The morning after was a tiny smidgen more awkward than it could have been, but he couldn't complain. He'd sheathed his sword in stranger places. With an emphasis on 'stranger'. Heh, get it? Having sex with strangers... And weird things... Would sex with Celly burn like the sun? She already has a higher than average body temperature because of, you know, the whole sun thing. If Celly lost control in the act, she might just burn off something important.

Then he had to explain the concept of gagging to Rainbow. It was unbearable, considering the context. If it had been at any other time, it would have been an easy conversation, but the morning after sex? Awkward.

But hey, what are you going to do?

I'll tell you what: you go to your job and ignore everything, especially the problem.

So that's where The Forgemaster was, in his office at Canterlot. Was he doing work? Probably not. Was he experimenting with narcotics? Yes, yes he was. He found this awesome plant in the depths of right around Fluttershy's house, and it was similar to coca plant! Yes, The Forgemaster now had access to cocaine and its variant, crack.

He had had a small chemistry lab put in his office, because sometimes he wanted to do chemistry stuff. The fact that he used his guards as a cheap source of both labor and test subjects is irrelevant in this matter.

He made just a small pinch of that powder, and invited one of his 'paper work guards' over. Always, the  choice was thus: use this and go home for the day, or don't and stay. Inevitably, someone will take him up on his proposition. Besides, it was just a harmless white powder, what harm could it do?

The Forgemaster sighed for what seemed the millionth time as he stamped his approval on another sheet of paper. The instant his hand lifted off of the paper, something far too fast to see reached in, grabbed it, and stacked it in the approval pile.

It was his personal secretary, Madam Secretary. That's what he called her, he never bothered to learn her name. That's what he put on the payroll, that's how he filled out her forms, that's what he called her in everyday operation, when she was sick, he sent a get-well soon card with that name on it. Even some of the guards started calling her that, the princesses too. He took the name off of her desk and replaced it with 'Madam Secretary'. And she seemed to resignedly let him after the first hundred times.

However, she had decided to try his cocaine.

He regretted his decision.

Cocaine, caffeine, and sugar should never, ever, ever, ever, mix with any form of pony, ever. The Forgemaster thinks that their blood is literally made of maple syrup and their manes are naught but colored sugar formed into strands. A subtle balance, a drop of anything remotely mind-altering, and they flip their shit.

He had even given her the option of going home, and she ignored it, he had even ordered her to go home, and she ignored him. However, his office had never been tidier. There wasn't a speck of dust in the room, not even on the guards. Every single painting was literally perfectly level, perfectly. Paperwork was done sometimes before he even got a chance to look at it because she moved his arm for him, and the instant he was finished she took it off his desk and into a pile.

However, she was literally vibrating in place. Seriously, the office had new floors and he could see wear and tear not found on 1000 year old buildings in the one place she was standing/vibrating. If only there was an antidote to cocaine... no, that's a bad idea. Mixing chemicals is never a good idea. Evidence A: cocaine and natural pony hyper-activity disorder.

Hmm...

“Excuse me, Madam Secretary?” The Forgemaster began.

“Yes, Forgemaster? Whatdoyouwant, Icandoanything, Ican, Ireallycan, justsaythewordanditsdone!!!!!” the vibrating pony said at the speed of light, it was a testament to The Forgemaster's ears that he even heard her, much less understood her.

How can someone talk at the speed of light? Well, light moves in waves, as does sound. Therefore, it is possible to speak at the speed of light. It was just hard as balls and only Pinkie and cocained-up ponies could accomplish the feat.

“Is there a plant that, when smoked, makes everything slowed down... and it makes you happy?”

“YES! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes, it'scalledHappyLeaf!” Madam Secretary declared.

“Good, good.” The Forgemaster nodded slowly, probably infuriating the secretary with his slowness, “I need you to go and get me, uh,” he examined the pony as carefully as he could, considering she was literally a blur, “Yeah, about a pound of this Happy Leaf?” he scrounged around in his pockets and withdrew a small bag of bits, “Here, keep the change.”

I swear to all the various and diverse deities, the bag was less than a millimeter out of his hand when she took it, and ran out the room with fire blazing behind her. He grinned when he saw the individual hoof-steps on the floor, tiny individual fires.

And, less than 5 seconds later, ZOOM and she was back in the room.

She threw a bag at him, full of a vibrant green leaf, and then assumed her position vibrating beside his desk.

He looked into the bag, and took a deep sniff of the stuff. Whoa, it was strong. Probably all that ambient magic in the air that Equestria has. He took one of the rejected papers from the pile, and poured the entire bag into it. He then rolled a very, very large cigarette. Almost a cigar.

He held it out to the vibrating-machine, “Here, take this and go up to the roof-”

Before he could finish, she had already taken it and, literally, ran with it. She came back empty handed... hoofed.

“-And then smoke it, all of it.” he finished.

She might have nodded, he couldn't tell.

She came back, hours later just as he was about to leave, in the wee hours of the morning, just before Celly raised the sun, and walk calmly into the room. She then, immediately, fell asleep right there in the middle of the room. Judging by how slow she was moving, she probably took all that time just getting back to his office.

He laid a blanket over her, and gave the remaining Night Guards explicit orders to give her a large breakfast in the morning, and then take her to the doctors for possible addiction.

And then he left.

He warped his way over to Twilight's Library. Why? To play a nice, wholesome game of 'poke the bear'. It was more similar to, 'poke the Rapidash' (Ie: angry Twilight = flaming horse), but the principle was the same. Why Rapidash and not Ponyta? Because Twilight was vastly more powerful, and usually vastly more angry than any normal Ponyta.

You think I’m bullshitting? Nope, he warped to just outside Twilight's library. He looked through the window to see Twilight pouring over some books or something, I don't care. He then slowly, ever so carefully, opened the door. He sneaked his way over to Twilight, who was oblivious because she was PREY!! He carefully put his hands onto Twilight's back, and then picked her up.

Studiously ignoring Twilight's yelps, he started doing some Twilight-lifting. It was good exercise, because sweet, adorable, frightened Twilight was a solid 300 pounds of... not really solid steel, more like 'I don't exercise much because I’m a bloody librarian', and sex appeal, as Twilight apparently had the 'sexy librarian' look going for her. It was also exceptionally difficult, because she just wouldn't stop squirming, so that added another layer to his regiment.

Abruptly, Twilight teleported from his arms. It appears as though Twilight remembered that she could do that.

She reappeared on the other side of the room, about to blast him another hole with magic... But then she just sighed, she probably muttered something bad about him.

“Forgemaster, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Lifting, brah. Do you even lift, broseph?”

Twilight frowned, “Well, don't lift me, lift somepony else. And I don't lift, I didn't put that in the schedule.”

“Schedule?” he questioned.

“Yes, I just finished scheduling my schedule for net month, but then I realized that I forgot to schedule time for scheduling the month after next month's schedule next month!”

He vaguely recalled some message he got from Shining Armor that he was supposed to give to Twilight about the wedding that was going to go down in like... 7 days. Oh well, no hair off his testicles. Mostly because they were balls of steel, and you can't grow hair on steel.

Hmm, he seemed to have zoned out there, because Twilight was still talking. She only ever did that when he forgot to interrupt her.

A sudden breeze in the library cut his thoughts off, and a few moments later it cut off Twilight as well.

They both looked over to see a rapidly expanding, pink dome with books, paper, and shit flying willy-nilly out of it.

Suddenly, the thing burst into light. He would've been blinded were it not for his shades. The one he pulled out of air, thank you Pinkie.

Standing where the pink dome thing used to be were 2 figures. The Forgemaster smiled as he recognized himself in traditional ninja attire, he was sparkly with electricity too. He frowned when he saw Twilight all sparkly with electricity hunched over on the floor, she was dressed like Solid Snake. Get it, Twilight 'sparkly' with electricity. Ha! I kill me.

Twilight shrieked or something, he wasn't paying attention. Sparkly-Twilight went to talk with Normal-Twilight. But Ninja-Forgey walked towards him, his cloak billowing in the breeze, the light catching the hilt of his katana, his demon mask red and imposing. Fucking. Awesome.

“Yeah, I know. I had that thought too.” Ninja-him said just as he thought that.

“So, you're from the future?” Normal-him deduced.

“Yep. Listen up: Twilight's gonna be freaking out for the next couple days for no reason, it's funny, trust me. But anyways there's no reason to get your panties in a bunch, nothing happens, at all. It's actually kind of boring.” Future-ninja-him drawled.

“Hmph, cool. Anything else I should know?” Normal-him asked.

“Nah, that's it. But here: a gift.” he threw what appeared to be a magazine at him, when he caught it, he unrolled it revealing a sports magazine dated a week from today.

“I got that from my Future-me, and he got it from his, and so on and so on. Use that to make lots and lots of money by illegally betting on sports games. Because betting on sports is illegal in Equestria, which is bullshit by the way. I’m gonna talk to Celly about that.”

“Cool bro, good luck with that.”

“Don't mention it, seriously, don't. No one will believe you.” Future-him warned, all sparkly with energy magic.

“Okie doke, bro: bye.” he waved as the light and energy intensified.

“See ya!” Ninja-him waved as he was vaporized into the future.

“Ah, I love that guy, I really do.” he held a hand over his heart. ”It's like his personality clicks with mine.”

Twilight was freaking out for some reason, probably over something Sold-Snake-Future-Twilight said, but he didn't mind. He just left.

Dashie was probably upset with him for staying out so late... early? Doesn't matter.

He had an excuse: demonic, cocaine addicted secretary.