Author: I've been thinking...
Rarity: There's a first time for everything.
Author: ... I've been thinking, and it just occurred to me why Twilight flipped out.
Twilight: Wasn't it because of the Lunacy?
Author: That's what I thought at first too. But consider this... After Twilight had BREAKFAST, did she stretch?
Rarity: Now that I think about it...
Pinkie Pie: (Gasps.) It's so clear now! Everything makes sense!
Author: See? Every plot hole has been accounted for.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!

---

Not My Destiny

Pinkie Pie: My destiny's purple, this one's green!

by Smayds

Author: Brand turkey-dogs.

Chapter 9 - Nightmares

Twilight: A little late on the title, I've already been having nightmares about this story.

Luna swept down to a graceful landing far inside the specially-prepared hideaway.

Rarity: "Sister, did you remember the can opener?"
Author: "Crap, I knew I forgot something!"

She lowered her wind-swept charges gently to the floor of the cave.

Author: Where they exploded.
Rarity: I beg your pardon?
Author: You know, charges. As in dynamite? Nevermind...

Rainbow Dash was shaking her wings out. "Can somepony PLEASE tell me what the BUCK just happened?!"

Pinkie Pie: Looks like somepony was fiddling with the caps lock again!

She was glaring at Luna with a little more hostility than was strictly allowed,

Twilight: Protocol states that only 20% intensity is allowed.

but Luna didn't care. There were far more important things than royal protocol right now.

Author: Like finding a good movie to watch while the apocalypse was going on around them.

"Twilight Sparkle has embraced The Lunacy. It has been poisoning her thoughts for weeks, and she has succumbed. Wait!" she said, seeing the looks of despair.

Pinkie Pie: "Don't worry! I bought some pumpkin pie on the way here, so there's no need to despair!"

"Celestia and I have a plan. We have not told Twilight Sparkle of this. The Night Mare... Well.

Rarity: Nightmare Well?! Not Nightmare Well!

Whatever Twilight Sparkle is now, she retains her old memories. We could not risk her knowing of this plan, though she seems to have guessed an essential part. She wants to kill you to stop you from using the Elements of Harmony against her."

From amidst a sea of shocked and worried expressions, Fluttershy walked up to the Princess of the Night. "Can we save Twilight?"

Author: I'm sorry, Fluttershy. The second that book was published, it was far too late to save it.

she asked, not a flicker of fear or shyness in her voice or on her face.

Author: Damn! What bad-ass replaced Fluttershy between chapters?

Luna frowned down at the yellow pegasus. "I am not sure, Miss Fluttershy. We will do anything that can be done to save Equestria." She looked up. "I must return. A battle may shortly take place, and I must help." The briefest flicker of terror crossed her face, but was quickly dispelled. "There is food and water, plus comfortable bedding. Please, do not leave this cave. It is a sheer drop outside, and the entrance is difficult to see. Celestia or myself will return as soon as we possibly can. Do NOT leave the cave!" she shot at Rainbow Dash, who

Twilight: Died from blood loss.

looked defiant. "We cannot risk Twilight Sparkle finding this place. Not only are you here," she said, pointing with a silver-shod hoof at a small, plain-looking wooden chest set up against one of the rough walls, "but also the Elements that each of you bear."

Rarity: Considering the Elements are sitting in a chest, that means none of the mare actually "bearing" them.

"The Elements of Harmony are here?" Rarity exclaimed, walking over to the chest and magicking the lid open. Five beautiful necklaces gleamed back at her from inside.

Rarity: "I.. I can't do it! The colors, they... CLASH!"

"Do not put them on. They, and you, must be kept safe for the moment. Twilight Sparkle may be able to sense your whereabouts if they are activated." Rarity slammed the lid of the box and muffled a gasp. "If Twilight Sparkle finds either you or the Elements, Equestria will be lost.

Pinkie Pie: "And there's no. Map."
Other three: "Ahhh!"

Celestia has the Element of Magic. We are going to try to force it onto Twilight Sparkle when we have you all with us, and hope that the magic of the Elements does the rest."

Author: Best plan ever; try shit and hope that it works. Awesome.

"So, you and Princess Celestia are going to try to capture her?" Fluttershy asked. "And then you'll come and get us?"

"We will certainly try." A look of hopeless terror momentarily clouded the alicorn's eyes.

Twilight: I'm getting the impression that Princess Luna isn't very confident.

"Her powers may be beyond us, and if so, the world will end. We will surely try. Now," she added sternly, "stay here, stay hidden, all of you. One or both of us will return. I must go. I have no more time!"

Pinkie Pie: "If the world ends, you'll know something went wrong!"

Ignoring the clamouring protests, she wheeled and flew back up towards the cave entrance.

Rarity: And bumped into it, since it was particularly well hidden.
________________________________________

Luna couldn't possibly think of how she would help in the battle that surely awaited her. Twilight Sparkle would simply have to look at her, and she would flee. She could not face The Lunacy. The fear... The fear was far too great.

Twilight: Geez, Luna. Pessimists are more positive than you!
Author: Hell, NBC news is more positive than you!

Were she to still have the powers of The Night Mare, she might be able to do something. But those powers were gone. Too dark to begin with. And completely gone.

Rarity: Did she mention they were gone?

She could get them back...

If she succumbed...

She had no jealousy left in her.

Author: Can you refill at the gas station?

Her little ponies loved and enjoyed the night she made. They honoured her with one of their most beloved nights of celebration.

Author: Arbor Day?

Were she to fall to jealousy again... Even if she triumphed, would she not just try, once again, to bring forth eternal night? No. Too dangerous. Far too dangerous.

Pinkie Pie: I suppose eternal night IS worse than the apocalypse.

And utterly impossible. She felt not a scrap of jealousy, not over anything.

Author: Except maybe Celestia's autographed photo of Lil' Wayne.

Fear. She had fear. Fear for The Lunacy. She could fall to her fear, but how would that help? She would be afraid, far too afraid to do anything. She would run. She would probably use her dark powers to run to the moon and hide.

Twilight: And she didn't use those dark powers to get to the moon and contact Twilight because...?

But Twilight Sparkle could teleport to the moon unaided. And now... The Lunacy would follow her there, and find her in her terror. She could not fall to her fear.

Was there any hope?

Author: Episode four, but that would be your last.

Yes...

She hated The Lunacy. Far more powerful than her fear was her hatred for the thing that had taken her will, had made her overthrow and imprison her sister, had made her bring about her first fruitless attempt at endless night. She hated it. She could face it in hatred. She wouldn't be a risk to Equestria. She hated only The Lunacy.

Did she?

Luna examined her soul as she flew towards Ponyville.

Pinkie Pie: She should really wipe off that pizza stain she'd gotten on it!

Besides The Lunacy, what did she hate?

Nothing. Hate was not in her nature. She was not born to hate. She was born to love, care, guide, rule.

Author: I think that's Hasbro speaking.

But not to hate. The only hate she felt was for The Lunacy.

She could do this... To save Equestria... She would do this.

Luna released her instinctive alicorn restraint and began examining her darkest emotion. She let it seethe and boil.

Rarity: Then add some margarine after three minutes, then stir, adding a pinch of oregano every half a minute for another three minutes.

Hate.

She hated The Lunacy.

Hated what it was doing to Twilight Sparkle.

Hated what it wanted to do to Equestria.

Twilight: Hated how it created a story that four, unfortunate riffers have to sit through.

Hated what it had done to her, most of all.

Luna concentrated very hard on just how much she hated this monster.

Deeper and blacker and colder than the lowest pit of Hell, a hatred to crack the very world rose through her, consumed her.

Pinkie Pie: She was delicious! Nice recipe, Rarity!
Rarity: Why thank you.

Transformed her.

Author: (Singing) Transformers, ponies in disguise.

The night sky flashed brilliant white to match her unquenchable fury, then the moon and the stars winked out, leaving only a blackness above as profound as the hatred in her heart.

Twilight: I wouldn't really describe that as "profound"...

Straight ahead, a distant fireball blossomed into the sky. She streaked towards it with the strong, powerful beating of wings as dark as the night around her.
________________________________________

Four best friends sat facing each other in the gloom, the one solitary lamp brightening their moods as much as the cave.

Author: "So... Anyone want to play Apples to Apples?"

Fluttershy was off in a corner seeing to Spike. The little dragon seemed to have come out of his shock for the most part, and he and the buttercup-yellow pegasus were talking quietly together.

Author: They were discussing the works of Chris Brown.

"This is hopeless," Rarity said. "Hopeless. Princess Luna thinks it's hopeless. Did you see the look on her face?"

Rarity: Forget that, did you read the description of the look on her face?

"Yep, Ah did. Don't rightly know what ter do about it, though. Ah hope Big Mac got Granny and Applebloom away okay." Applejack shook her head sadly. "Ah wish Ah wuz with them. Ah wish we were all together. All mah family, and all mah friends."

Pinkie Pie: "Ah ahlways ahought to ahang ahround the ahouse, in cahse this ahppens." Hooray! I can do a southern accent too!

Pinkie Pie seemed to have gone into shock, her poofy mane looking ready to collapse at any moment. Her family was far from Ponyville, but this, right here, was the only fear that the otherwise impossibly-cheerful pink earth pony could never face. The loss of a friend.

Twilight: Whoa, we're getting back to the whole "Pinkie Pie can't stand losing a friend" sub-plot? I thought we abandoned that five chapters ago.

The last two weeks had been bad enough on her, but with what was going on now... She choked out a sob

Pinkie Pie: (Chocking noise, followed by the sound of hocking something up.) Don't worry, I'm okay! I just got a pesky sob stuck in my throat!

as her chin slumped all the way to the floor.

Rainbow Dash didn't have anything to say. She was a pony of action, not used to just sitting around on her butt and letting everypony else have all the fun. Then she realised that there might not be anything less fun than whatever was going on back in Ponyville, her adopted home.

Author: Bah! Back where I come from, you have to BUY a home!

She'd moved there, just like Twilight, and she'd found friends there, also just like Twilight. And now one of the best friends she would ever have was... What? Fighting the Princesses? She shook her head.

Twilight: "No, that's not it... Maybe they're playing limbo?"

Over in the far corner, Fluttershy stood up, nodding with thanks at the baby dragon.

"Good luck. You're gonna need it," he said worriedly.

Author: How very clever of Fluttershy...
Rarity: What?
Author: Everyone knows that when the plan is explained to the readers it never works. This means it's going to work flawlessly as long as she doesn't explain it.

The yellow pegasus turned around and walked away from Spike, who looked like he was curling up for a nap. She headed straight towards her childhood friend, the most reckless pony she'd ever met.

Pinkie Pie: Me?

Fluttershy was feeling reckless too.

"Rainbow Dash? Let's go. We've got a job to do."

Twilight: "I promised Mrs. Cake I'd tend to her flowers before the apocalypse came about."
________________________________________

Celestia slammed through the side of the quaint town cottage. Before the rubble had even started to fall, she burst up through the still-collapsing roof and seized the Thing around its neck with all of her considerable magical might. The monster sucked and pulled at her spell, strengthening it beyond measure.

Rarity: Strengthening the spell, or strengthening itself?

The scattered and broken wreckage of the town began to smoke and flame from the sheer magical force she was exerting. Gasping with the effort required to maintain such an immensely-powerful spell, she managed to choke out "Twilight! Please! Fight it, fight it!"

Pinkie Pie: Wow, she choked out a lot of words!

The whole world twisted as her telekinetic grip was broken as easily as spider-silk.

Twilight: Um, actually, spider silk is stronger than steel.

White-hot tendrils of fire snaked around her, crushed her, held her immovable.

Rarity: So... Nopony could move her...?

The Thing had her, had her in an obscene parody of a lover's embrace. She felt hot teeth grate her cheek. The Thing hissed into her ear. Its voice, harsh and cold as the roots of a mountain, almost stopped her heart.

Author: "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!"

"Twilight Sparkle is dead. As is Equestria. As are YOU!

Rarity: Actually, all three are alive and well. Do you want to try you epic line again?

WHERE ARE THE BEARERS?!"

Sudden vicious lashes of deepest midnight ripped and clawed at the Thing.

Twilight: Considering that midnight is intangible and merely a concept, this did absolutely nothing.

Celestia wrenched herself free from the weakening grip, spun, kicked the monster with the force of thunder.

Author: Chuck Celestia's roundhouse kick.

Then, a gentle hoof on her shoulder. A smooth, silky, confident voice. A voice she hadn't heard for more than ten centuries.

Rarity: Um... Wasn't Nightmare Moon released about a year or two ago?
Pinkie Pie: Princess Celestia wasn't around during that, silly!

"Please, Big Sister. Allow me."

Night Mare Moon launched herself at the Thing with all the power of a thousand years of hatred.

Without stopping to even ask herself how Luna had done it, Celestia turned and flew to the main bridge out of town to shepherd the evacuation personally.

Twilight: Leaving her sister to fight for herself? Smooth.

Vice-like blazing fire wrapped around Night Mare Moon, and she felt herself spun upwards, around, over the top of the Thing which held her. It slammed her down. She smashed into a two-level house with enough

Rarity: Kitschy furniture to fill a castle.

force to shatter it into dust. She roared up out of the shallow crater she had made,

Pinkie Pie: "You made me chip a hoof!"

forcing the white-hot fingers off her hide with her own tendrils of blue.

Twilight: Can't they just all hold magical appendages and get along?

Darting forwards out of the slackened hold, she grabbed the monster's face with a cloud of blackish-blue magic, and twisted, hard, down and to the side, then let go. The Thing spun down, colliding with a windmill. It vanished, thrashing, inside the structure.

Author: If this story was awesome, Petey Piranha would be inside.

Night Mare Moon grabbed the large pavilion in the centre of the town square. She pulled, strained, tore the building from the ground. Flourishing it high, she smashed it down onto the collapsing, burning windmill with the force of a furious demon.

The wreckage exploded into fire, a white-hot blur shooting from deep inside the ruin, heading straight towards her at impossible speed.

Rarity: Then how'd she do it?

She used her magic to move aside rapidly,

Twilight: I'd think you wouldn't need magic to move, but that's just me.

pivoted in the air, and whipped a hold around the slathering muzzle that was passing her by at thousands of miles per hour.

Rarity: That speed is very much in the realm of possible.

She called upon all of her strength,

Pinkie Pie: "Hey strength, I'm having a party and wanted to know if you'd like to come?!"

and pulled.

The Thing, caught in its charge, flipped up behind the straining Night Mare Moon. She spun it up and back over her head, flinging it to the ground as hard as she could. It landed with an explosion of dirt, rock, fire and snarls. She didn't wait for it to get back up. She began seizing the largest, heaviest-looking, most solidly-built cottages and houses and shops and anything else she could see, spinning them around and around herself to build up their speed, then slamming them, one after another, onto the creature that she hated with all of her being.

Author: On a different note, rebuilding Ponyville is going to be a bitch of a job!

The entire enormous pile of rubble and wreckage flew up into the air. She danced to the side.

Pinkie Pie: She tangoed out of the way!

It spontaneously ignited into white-yellow flames, staying together in one rough, huge ball,

Author: That's the way I like my balls! (Shot in the head by Twilight with a grenade launcher.) I... regret... nothing!

then flew at her too fast for her to avoid. Suddenly glowing sunshine-gold, it was snatched from the air in front of her, swung through a wide arc, and smashed into the once-again airborne Thing with a collision that shattered the few remaining windows in the ruined, burning town.

Celestia had returned. Everypony must be safely away from Ponyville.

Twilight: Aren't you certain? You're the writer, you should know if everyponys safe!

"Take the left! Get it! Hold it!" Night Mare Moon shouted, as she flew to the right through the still-falling wreckage.

Pinkie Pie: Geez, so demanding!
________________________________________

"An' jus' where in the hay do ya think yer GOIN'?!" Applejack said heatedly. "We gotta stay in this here cave 'til the Princesses come an' get us!"

"There's something we have to do," Fluttershy said impatiently. "We have to

Twilight: "Pick up some milk."

save Twilight."

"We ARE savin' Twilight. Ya CAN'T leave," Applejack protested.

"We have to."

Rarity: "You're awkward southern drawl is physically injuring us."

"Alright then, we're all comin' with ya!"

"You can't come," Fluttershy said. "You, Rarity and Pinkie have to stay here. You can't fly. We've got a long way to go and we'll be flying fast."

"Where are we going?" asked Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy ignored her.

Author: Wow, Fluttershy is being an ass in this seen! I hereby dub her... "Flutterass".

"If you leave," Rarity said, "Twilight might find you. She... I can't believe she ever would, but she might hurt you. She... she did hurt you, Fluttershy dear, remember?"

"I'm not ever likely to forget it!" Fluttershy was starting to raise her voice.

Twilight: Hey, calm down Fluttershy! No reason to resort to awkward sentence structures!

This was so unlike her, everypony took a small step back - a small flap back, in Dash's case. "It was MY fault that Twilight lost her temper! It was MY fault that she said the things she did! It was MY fault that she blew up the spa and ripped my bucking wing off! And it was MY FAULT that she RAN AWAY TO THE MOON! MY FAULT! NOT HER FAULT! I LET MY FRIEND DOWN!"

Pinkie Pie: So... Who's fault was it?
Twilight, Rarity, and Author: Shh!

The other ponies were backing away in earnest now. Fluttershy was starting to get very, very angry.

"She wanted to spend time with me, but I was scared of her. SCARED! Of a FRIEND! Some friend I turned out to be! Well, I'm going to make up for that! Come ON, Rainbow Dash! We're leaving!" She turned to go.

Author: Huh... Did Fluttershy, uh, read our riff from last chapter?

"Fluttershy, wait! Where are we going?" Dash was as surprised and confused as she'd ever been.

"Luna said it herself!" Fluttershy was starting to stamp her rear hooves in agitation.

Rarity: Her front hooves were perfectly calm.

"She doesn't think she and Celestia are strong enough to catch or stop Twilight! So they need help!"

"Help?" Dash was almost afraid to ask.

Pinkie Pie: But she did! What a twist!

Fluttershy scrunched her eyes and pinched the bridge of her muzzle in frustration.

All: ... With what?

"What's the only magical creature in all of Equestria that's as strong as an alicorn?!"

"Oh, no way. No way, Fluttershy. You can't be serious. NO! WAY!"

"Spike told me where to start looking."

Twilight: Under the rug.

The faintest hint of her Stare glinted in her burning turquoise eyes. "Come on, Rainbow Dash, and try to keep up. We're gonna go catch some dragons."

Author: Capcom presents; Monster Hunter FlutterTri.
________________________________________

The two sides were too evenly matched. The two sisters together could equal the ferocity of the Thing. The Thing could equal them. They slowly circled each other in the hot, turbulent night air. Celestia and Night Mare Moon kept their distance from the monster that regarded them now with a mixture of superiority and contempt. The bright, flickering orange glow from the ruins beneath sent vast shadows into the starless sky above the three alicorns.

Stalemate.

"Very well," said the Thing.

Author: "Would either of you like to take a break? Maybe we could stop by Dairy Queen or something. Being a flaming monstrosity makes you REALLY thirsty."

"I am forced to make some greater threat. You," it spat.

All: Ew.

A lance of white-hot flame stabbed out, faster than a lightning bolt. Night Mare Moon danced sideways to avoid it.

Pinkie Pie: She MAMBOED out of the way!

"You desired Eternal Night. You shall have it." The towering flames surrounding it roared from bright yellow-orange to violent blue.

Twilight: Blue is possibly one of the least violent colors I can think of.

"Bring me the Bearers, alive or dead, here, one hour, or I shall destroy the sun."

It twisted a roaring, spinning fireball around itself, then vanished with a concussion of light.

Rarity: Can lights get a concussion?
Pinkie Pie: I hope it's okay!
Author: I hope my sanity's okay... Let's take a break. I think i have some Dairy Queen leftover in my fridge...

---

(All are munching on ice cream.)
Rarity: Exactly how long has this ice cream been in here?
Author: Dunno. It's May now, and... How many months ago was August?
(Twilight and Rarity begin to spit out the ice cream.)
Pinkie Pie: Well I think it's delicious!
(Twilight and Rarity exchange glances, before continuing to brush off their tongues.)
Author: You know, I've gotta admit, Fluttershy is freaking awesome in this story! She's all gung-ho!
Rarity: (Still getting the bad taste out of her mouth.) Sounds a little... bleh... Out of character.
Author: You're missing the point. Bad ass Fluttershy. Is. AWESOME. And she has a reason for being so.
Pinkie Pie: At least my character will be just as flushed out right? Right?
Author: Um... Hey, it's the story sign!
Pinkie Pie: I don't hear any!
Author: Dash, awkward situation! Help!
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Right, on it!
(Buzzers sound.)
All: We've got story sign!

Not My Destiny

Rarity: If it isn't yours, and it isn't mine, then... Whose is it?
Pinkie Pie: It's a MYSTERY!

by Smayds

Author: Brand relish.

Chapter 10 - Planned and Unplanned

Author: The best laid plans of writer and riffer...

With a small burst of light, Twilight Sparkle appeared near the top of one of the many craggy mountains to the south of her adopted home. She sat down on the rough stony ground and stared at what she had done. Ponyville. Her home. Far more of a home than Canterlot had ever been. She and Celestia and Night Mare Moon - where had she come from? - had destroyed it, every building, every structure.

Twilight: (Shrugs.) It happens.

The fires were mostly burned out now.

She was amazed that the fight had lasted as long as it had. She'd been constantly trying to run, to stop, to shout a warning, anything. Holding back her magic while trying to use it. Attacking her former mentor while desperately trying not to do so. And then, that threat! How could she possibly destroy the sun?! And why?!

Author: All answers will be revealed next time on... Pony Ball Z!

And what reason in all Equestria had she to threaten anypony with anything?! It was all so frustrating!

Rarity: Trust me, dear, this is but a mere taste of what the readers have been going through.

Ruffling and refolding her wings at her sides, she watched the two other alicorns, mere specks at this distance, flying rapidly away to the east. She sighed. She didn't want to know where they were going. Yes she did. No she didn't. Yes, she did.

Pinkie Pie: Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself...

"I hope everypony got away from the town okay," she said aloud.

"Why am I worried about that?" she replied to herself. "I'm going to kill them all anyway."

"I don't want to kill ANYPONY!"

"But of course I do," she reminded herself. "It's all I've ever wanted to do."

Rarity: No offense, Twilight, but you make an absolutely atrocious conversationalist.
Twilight: Oh, that's only when I talk to myself.

"No, no, I want to be Celestia's student! I want to study hard and make her proud of me and when I've learned everything I can I want to just live a nice quiet life with my friends and work in the library and maybe one day meet a handsome stallion and maybe get married and maybe even have little colts and fillies and then I can teach them everything I know and they'll be so smart and my friends will have their own beautiful little foals and we'll all live together just so happily for as long as we can and we'll get to watch them grow up into pretty and handsome young ponies and then -"

All: DEEP. BREATH.

"I've never wanted any of that. All I want to do is just get on with this task of destroying the world. It's all I've ever wanted to do."

"I've NEVER wanted to do that!"

Author: "Oh. Really? because all this time I could've sworn you wanted to destroy the world."

"I've wanted it for thousands of years."

This was a very strange thought for Twilight to think. She knew it was absolutely true. It was a completely undeniable fact that for thousands and thousands of years she'd wanted nothing more than to tear the world apart.

"But I just had my nineteenth birthday. Just a couple of months ago. In Canterlot. With my friends."

Pinkie Pie: Behold! It is now canon!

She had no answer to this.

Author: "Oh, uh... I hadn't really thought about that. Any chance we could start from the top?"

"So," she asked herself, very slowly and deliberately, "if I've been wanting something for thousands of years, and I'm not even twenty years old yet..."

Twilight: Yes! Logic! Save this story, please!

"DO IT!" she shouted to herself, leaping to her hooves, her mane and tail igniting into roaring sheets of flame. "NOW! I MUST DO IT NOW! FORGET THE ELEMENTS, FORGET...!" The fire was just as quickly extinguished as she sat back down.

"I'm not me, am I?"

All: HELL NO!

A pause. Then, slowly, "of course I'm me. Who else would I be?"

Rarity: Derpy?
Twilight: Fluttershy?
Pinkie Pie: Me?
Author: OOC?

"I don't think I am."

"But that's silly. How could I not be me?"

"Because I've got The Lunacy in my head, and I can't tell my thoughts from its thoughts."

She didn't reply to this.

"You've been inside my mind for weeks, suggesting, twisting... Making me try to kill my friends..."

Twilight: I can't tell if she's just figured that out, or if she's giving a recap of what we already know. In either case, my reaction is thus. (Twilight facehooves.)

"The Lunacy's in my head, but it can't control me. It's waiting for me to control it. It can't control my thoughts. It can only whisper ideas and suggestions to me. And I can ignore those ideas and suggestions, because they're not mine. So this thing I'm doing, killing my friends so the Elements can't be used, that's all my idea. And I want to do it."

Rarity: "And so do you... I mean us... I mean me... I- You know what? Can we take this from the top, I am just EXHAUSTED today!"

"I don't want to do it. And I DO think it can affect my thoughts."

"No, I don't think so. All my thoughts really are my thoughts. I mean, this thought right now. That's my thought."

No it isn't.

"NO!" Twilight's eyes screwed up, her mouth twisting into a snarl. "I'VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS!"

Pinkie Pie: "I haven't had a chance to snarl for FAR TOO LONG!"

With teeth and fear and hate and bloodlust, Night Mare Flare

All: (Collective groan at the name.)
Author: When Night Mare Flare gets up in the morning and can't get her mane quite right, she's "Night Mare Hair"! (Pummeled into the ground by Rarity and Twilight.)
Pinkie pie: (Giggling.) You're funny, author. (Author gives her a weak thumbs up.)

roared into the sky with flames erupting all around her. She flew straight up, thousands and thousands of feet high, leaving a blazing trail in the pitch-black night sky. She slowed. Paused.

Author. Grabbed some popcorn. Pressed play.

Turned.

Headed straight down again towards the top of the mountain she'd just left.

She covered the two miles in just a fraction of a second. If she had been a pegasus, a thousand Rainbooms would have followed in her hypersonic wake.

Twilight: I don't know why they wouldn't have formed just because she's not a pegasus.

She hit with enough force to blast the top two hundred feet of mountain into blazing molten fragments.

Rarity: Aw, now who's going to pick up all the pieces.

A large, graceful, lavender winged unicorn burst from the flaming, steaming ruins, horn blazing bright magenta and gold. She couldn't teleport, for her magic was busy elsewhere. She pivoted in the air, flying fast on large alicorn wings, heading straight towards the remains of Ponyville, smashing right through the thousands of rocks and boulders and glowing smears of molten rock that filled the air, all of her willpower focused on just one thing. She mustn't stop thinking about it. Just that one thing. Somewhere in the deserted, smashed, smoldering town before her, she would surely be able to find just one piece of relatively-unburned parchment or paper or even cardboard or...

Pinkie Pie: Papyrus?
Author: I read somewhere you can make great paper out of Pony skin. you just-
Rarity and Twilight: Stop.

Her mane flared into flames for a moment, then back into flowing sheets of indigo smoke.

Author: Ello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You extinguished my fire. Prepare to die.

Don't... stop... thinking... about... it...

Pinkie Pie: "Shoot, I lost the game!"
________________________________________

Celestia swept down the long, winding cave within the cliffs under Canterlot. She saw a faint glow from around a bend up ahead. Slowing down and gently flapping to the floor, she walked in on a heated argument.

Rarity: At least it was warm in that cave.

"We gotta go after 'em! This is silly an' crazy an' jus' downright dangerous! Can't think of what's gotten inter Fluttershy!"

Author: I'm sure all the clopfics know!
Twilight: Are we going to have to violently strangle you?
Author: I'll be good...

"But if we can't get out, I mean, if you need wings to get down from the cave, then -"

"Oooh! Rarity! Can you teleport?"

"Me? Teleport?! You ARE crazy, Pinkie Pie!

Rarity, Twilight, and Author: What else is new?
Pinkie Pie: Hey!
Rarity: Do you deny it?
Pinkie Pie: No. I just wanted to yell "hey" randomly.

Of course I can't teleport! Precious few unicorns ever manage to teleport!"

"Well, Ah'm still gonna go have me a looksee. Maybe there's a way down without - Oh. Howdy, Princess."

"What has happened?" Celestia asked, concern crossing her forehead.

Author: Is there a "Concern Crossing" sign up there?

She could only see three ponies.

Twilight: Oh no! The Princess has gone blind in her left eye!

Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were looking at the alicorn that had just landed behind Celestia with horror. They started to back away.

"No!" Night Mare Moon called. "You have nothing to fear!"

Rarity: Do you really think that's going to work after Nightmare Night?
Twilight: Wait, Rarity... How do you know about Nightmare Night? You weren't there.
Rarity: Oh, I was there. Let's just say I had a... Very convincing costume.

The three little ponies disagreed. They turned and fled further down into the cave at a full gallop.

"I'll get them, Little Sister," Celestia said, galloping off herself with her horn blazing the way.

Night Mare Moon sat down with a huff. Reminding herself very pointedly that her hate was only for The Lunacy, she stifled a growl and breathed deeply and slow. She couldn't blame them, really. Even that Thing had seemed surprised to see her.

With the soft clopping of nervous hooves approaching from her right, she remained seated, kept her wings tightly furled, and bunched her magic mane in as closely as she could. Looking away, she said softly,

Twilight: In the royal Canterlot voice.

"I am not the Night Mare Moon who tried to bring eternal night, my little ponies."

Rarity: I'm the Night Mare Moon that's trying to bring about eternal mid-afternoon."

"We, uh, we know, um, yer Highness. We're sorry," Applejack said in a voice composed of equal parts wonder and terror. "Ah mean, you're still Princess Luna. A-and we know you'd never... you'd never hurt anypony."

Author: Well, all except for flaming monstrosities, but I guess those don't count.

"I just spent most of the last hour trying very hard to do just that to your friend Twilight Sparkle."

Author: See?

She stood up, the three ponies flinching slightly. "Celestia and myself have not spoken since the end of the battle. We wished to include you in our discussion. But I believe we may have a problem. We are missing two ponies."

Pinkie Pie: Did you check behind the fridge? Sometimes my cupcakes get stuck back there!

"Where are Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?" Celestia asked. She sat down and looked very closely at the three remaining Bearers.

"They... they left," Rarity whispered.

"And we don't know where they went!" Pinkie Pie said, sadness and loneliness all over her face.

Rarity: Here's a handkerchief, Pinkie Pie, try to wipe that off.

"They said we couldn't come, because we can't fly! And they left, and then we started arguing! We were gonna go after them, to see where they'd gone off to in such a rush, but -"

"Of course you were going to," Celestia said with a smile. "Do you know why they left?"

Twilight: I want to know before I THRASH THEM for disobeying me.

"Fluttershy said Spike told 'er where to find dragons," Applejack said, gesturing with a hoof. "He won't wake up. Ah've tried. And it don't make no sense. Fluttershy was powerful angry jus' before she and Rainbow Dash left, and that ain't like her at all. And she's so scared a' dragons, she normally jus' curls up and squeaks!"

Author: Based on what I've seen so far in this story, I think she has the Lunacy.
Twilight: Ehem?
Author: Oh, sorry, The Lunacy.

"Dragons?" Celestia stood and walked over to Spike. She nudged him with a hoof, then crouched down, her face very close to his. "Spike," she said softly. "Spike, it's Princess Celestia. Wake up please, Spike."

The baby dragon snuffled and grunted, but continued to snore softly.

"Cover your ears, please," Celestia said over her shoulder.

All: (Slap hands and hooves over ears.)

She turned back to the baby dragon. Things were far too important to be polite.

Author: "Fus-Roh-"

"SPIKE!" Celestia roared with the power of her Voice.

A green-and-purple blur bounced off the ceiling.

Author: Nothing like a game of Pin-Spike.

Celestia caught him with her magic, stopping him from hitting the floor, and held him up.

"Pruh-Pruh-Pruh-Princess?!"

Pinkie Pie: No, silly, it's Princess Celestia! Not Pruh-Pruh-Pruh-Princess!

"I'm sorry about that, Spike, I really am. But we needed to wake you up. Just to clear this up first, Princess Luna doesn't look quite like herself at the moment." She spun the little dragon in the air to face her sister.

Author: FIGHT!

"N-NN-NNNNNNNN-"

Rarity: What'd he say?
Pinkie Pie: Something about sushi.

"No, Spike. Not Night Mare Moon. Luna. Technically. Now, if I might ask you something?"

"Uh, okay, uh, sure, I guess?"

Twilight: Wow, he's nonchalant about this.

Spike kept shooting glances at the tall, spooky-looking Royal Princess.

"Where are Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash?"

"Oh." Spike looked nervous. "Fluttershy, uh, well, she wanted to find some dragons."

"Yes. And I hear that you told her where to look for them?"

Spike nodded.

"And just where would that be, exactly?"

Rarity: "Actually, they live right next door.

Celestia was smiling despite the urgency of the situation.

Spike choked. He retched. His eyes bulged. He belched a cloud of smoke and green flame which swirled for a moment and then, with a pop, flashed into a torn, charred piece of paper.

Twilight: Wow. Is spitting out the letter THAT bad? I feel awful now!

Nopony, and nodragon, seemed to be breathing

Author: And they all died from asphyxiation. The end!
Rarity: Author! That's horrible!
Author: Oh, I'm so sorry! I meant everybody except the alicorns, who don't need to breathe.

as Celestia levitated it and read its contents aloud, which seemed to have been hurriedly scratched with a burnt splinter of wood.

Twilight: "Yeah... I can't read this."
Pinkie Pie: There's a reason why Spike writes all of Twilight's letters!
Twilight: Hey!

i can control it i know
where it hides itself in my
mind maybe i can stop it try
the elements get my friends
it will come back when I have
to use magic to send this

"It could be a trick," Night Mare Moon said.

"But it probably isn't. We've got that deadline," Celestia reminded her big little sister.

Twilight: Deadline?
Author: Of course! If they don't beat Twilight before 4:30 P.M., then they won't be able to claim their dry cleaning!
Rarity: Oh no! That's AWFUL!

"We did wonder about this. How it found her so fast. How she started to believe its thoughts were her own."

"Uh, beg pardon, Princess?" Celestia turned to look at Applejack. "Deadline? Did you say 'deadline'?"

"Just one moment, please, Applejack. Spike," she said, turning to the nervous dragon, "Did you send her to the Great Northern Caverns, to Shale Gully, or to the Termagant Range?"

Twilight: "None of them. I don't think any of those places exist."

"Termagant Range. They're closest. Fluttershy told me to tell you that even though you'd be mad at her, she thought she was doing the right thing. You know, extra muscle?"

"Why, in the name of everything that we stand for, did we not think of the dragons?!" Night Mare Moon exclaimed.

Celestia shook her head. "You know they would never agree to help us."

Author: Place your bets, who thinks that dragons are going to end up helping in a final battle? (Everypony raises their hand.) These betting pools are so boring...

"But when faced with the destruction of the world?!" The silver-armoured midnight-black alicorn was stamping a front hoof. "Surely, they would help!"

Rarity: I don't know... Sleeping is very appealing.

"Perhaps they would. Perhaps they wouldn't. They may not believe such a thing is possible. We'll see, when Fluttershy returns."

"IF she returns. Ah. That is," Night Mare Moon faltered, seeing the looks of dismay on the three young ponies. "That is, I am sure there is an excellent chance.

Pinkie Pie: Nice recovery!

Now. We must tell you about the battle. I am afraid your town has been destroyed."

Twilight: "Sorry about that."

"Everypony got away safely," Celestia said over the gasps. "We talked about this before Luna moved the stars for Twilight, if you remember? We can rebuild Ponyville. No lives were lost. I hope that can last."

"So... Twilight attacked you?" Rarity asked, with a sharp intake of breath when Celestia nodded. "I never would have believed it! Our friend, Twilight!"

"...Is not herself!" Night Mare Moon snapped. Rarity shrunk.

Rarity: What, was there a random patch of Poison Joke in the cave?

"I am sorry," Night Mare Moon said. "It is... It is difficult, having these dark powers again, for... for not entirely selfish reasons this time. Yes, she attacked Celestia. I was able to release my hatred for The Lunacy, and transformed once again into the monster you see before you. A monster on a very short leash, this time. I hope.

Author: I hope you brought a pooper-scooper as well.

My hatred is for The Lunacy alone. We thought that Twilight Sparkle had willingly allowed herself to embrace this madness."

"But this note," Celestia continued, holding it up, "is our greatest hope yet.

Twilight: "Granted, I've lost hope in Twilight's ability to write legibly, but that's not important right now!"

There is something we do not entirely understand about the situation. The Lunacy found Twilight within days of her... her ascendancy. She has no dark emotions, not of the depths needed to allow such a creature to twist her mind inwards and dwell on her dark secrets. So she must be doing this herself. She must have facilitated her transformation herself. But with this note, I am not so sure any more."

Author: Basically, it's a plot coupon.

Night Mare Moon looked at her through narrowed eyes. "The prediction from Mother. I assumed, when I heard it -"

"You assumed the same thing that I did. That one day, another alicorn would appear. It would abandon reason for insanity and allow The Lunacy to consume it. That doesn't seem to be the case.

Rarity: Was your mother accurate about ANYTHING?

If Twilight is still in control, well. I told her many times that her will was her own, and to be wary of her thoughts. Perhaps when this thing got inside her, it -"

Author: Bow-chika-wow-wow! (Eviscerated by the sheer force of the universe conspiring against author.)

Spike belched another tongue of fire.

Pinkie Pie: I thought he belches out letters?

"I wish there was a bit more warning with that spell," he grumbled, as Celestia snatched a small scrap of parchment out of the air and read it.

i need to talk
come to ponyville
hurts to do this can
only hold it for a
few minutes

Author: IT'S A TRAP! MAYBE!

"We gotta go see her!" Applejack shouted. "We gotta go! Maybe we can talk to her or -"

Rarity: "Give her a massage to calm her down!"

"No!" Luna said, with an air of total finality. "I will go. I can best escape that Thing. This may be a trap, or it may be exceedingly important. Big Sister, tell them the rest. I will return."

Twilight: She's not going to return, is she?

Before Celestia could speak a single word, Night Mare Moon had dissolved into a silver-blue mist, which swirled for a moment and then faded from sight.

"Well," began Celestia, looking after her.

Twilight: That's what we could really use right now. A well.

"Um, Princess?" said Pinkie Pie, tugging gently on her mane to get her attention again. "What was that about a deadline?"

________________________________________

Night Mare Moon reformed out of the mists of the night just beyond the western edge of the former Ponyville. She saw nothing but rubble, a few scattered fires, and wisps of smoke everywhere. But she heard her.

"Nnnnnngnnnnnn-NO! NO! Gerrrrrrrrugghhh... N- Yeargh! AH! NO! No... GNNNN!"

Author: Poor Twilight. That must've been one bad burrito she ate.

That was Twilight Sparkle's voice. It was coming from... That light. She was by that light.

Night Mare Moon swept towards the flickering, sputtering glow.

Rarity: You missed a spot. And please, be a dear and get under the rug.

Coming around the shattered remains of a barn, she saw Twilight lying on the rubble-strewn street, rolling and thrashing around in obvious agony.

Twilight: That's nonsense! When I'm in agony, I'm subtle.

She was the size of a fully-grown alicorn, her tail and mane resembling flowing smoke, her great lavender wings joining her hooves in beating the ground in torment. But Night Mare Moon was caught short by her horn. It was illuminated, and a ten-foot-long spike of magical energy was rippling and twisting outwards from it, making the rubble smoulder where Twilight's anguished movements brought it into contact. Night Mare Moon had never seen so much magic being channeled at once. She doubted she herself could even come close, even now.

"Twilight Sparkle. Can you hear me?" She was not going to land. She was tensed to flee.

Pinkie Pie: I can't tell. Is she still Nightmare Moon?

"GNNN-Luna! Lu-AH! Luna? Is that- UHHHGHH -"

Pinkie Pie: "Well hello to you too."

"In a manner of speaking. You wanted to talk. Please, talk." Her hatred of The Lunacy was compelling her to attack while it was weak, but she held herself. If she attacked now, she would accomplish nothing. If she waited, she might discover how to kill it. "We are trying to help you. Trying to find out how to get that thing out of your head."

"It's - ah. Unghhhhh... I c-can... HHUUUHHHH! Hold it... Get the AAAAAUGH! AHHHHH! Get the Elements... Get th-AHHH!"

Rarity: "Could you try not to scream so much? It's kind of distracting..."

"They will not work without you! You are the keystone! You are the sixth Element!"

"I - ah. AHHHHHH. OH! I can - Get my - Get my fr-AAAHHHHHHHH! FRIENDS!" she gasped out. "GET MY FRIENDS!" Her tail flamed momentarily, then reverted to magical hair.

Author: Is it me, or is this a very one-sided conversation?

"I do not think that is a -"

"PLEASE!" The word tore from a tortured throat. "I m-m-UHGH. AH! I MUST SEE MY FR-AAAHHHHHGGGGGHHHHH!"

Twilight: "There's no need to use the caps lock, I'm standing right here."

Fire blossomed from her head and tail. Twilight Sparkle had obviously lost control for the moment. Night Mare Moon vanished in a flash of starry smoke as a large, dangerous, many-toothed face swivelled in her direction.

Rarity: That's not nearly as bad as a single-toothed face.

________________________________________

For a couple of minutes now, it had been getting more and more annoyed while it waited for the intruder to just go away. Finally fed up, it cracked open an eye to see what was tapping gently on the end of its snout. Maybe a mid-nap snack?

Author: Don't eat any ponies. They're way too full of sugar, you'll be up all night.
Pinkie Pie: Not me!
Author: You're right. You'll keep up the dragon with your high caffeine content.

Both enormous eyes snapped open, staring in shock and terror at the creature before it.

It couldn't look away. It couldn't move. It couldn't even blink.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mister Dragon," an incredibly tiny pink-and-yellow pony was saying in a quiet little voice. "I didn't want to wake you. But we have a tiny wee problem."

All: (Burst out laughing.)
Twilight: Okay, THIS is funny!

Her eyes bored in on the dragon's wide, staring gaze. Like thunder. Like a force of nature.

"I know how much you need your sleep, but, um, you see, my friend Twilight's just about to end the world. And, you know, it's really hard to sleep when you're dead. So, um, I'm just wondering if you'd mind helping us attack and capture a rampaging alicorn? And then, you can get right back to your nap."

Rarity: (Shrugs.) Can't argue with that logic.
Twilight: Indeed.
(Buzzers sound.)
All: We've got break sign!

Next Chapter: Not My Destiny: Chapter 11 and Epilogue Estimated time remaining: 43 Hours, 32 Minutes