Hola (that's hello in Spanish), bronies. Relatively short one today. Airshipping is Magic is a clever little piece that's a parody of shipping (hence the title) and is stuffed to the brim with puns. As you can guess, it's right up my ally. I'd give a hearty recommendation to read this one un-riffed.

Enjoy!

Author: Twilight, what is that?

Twilight: A hot-air balloon.

Author: ... And?

Twilight: And what?

Author: And why the hell is it in my writing studio?!

Rarity: It's quite simple, darling. You can write anything into existence, no?

Author: That I can.

Twilight: So we figured you could improve upon the balloon's design.

Author: I guess that's about right... What do you need me to do?

Twilight: First, it needs extra sand bags for weight modification.

Author: Okay... I'd think you could do it yourselves, lazy bastards...

Rarity: Make it blue. A saffron blue, if you will!

Author: I'm pretty sure that color doesn't exist.

Rarity: Then MAKE IT EXIST.

Author: (grumbling) Fine...

Twilight: Now the basket needs a titanium frame.

Author: ... Are you sure that's a good-?

Twilight: Air to air and air to surface missile-launchers.

Author: Why-?

Twilight: And a small, self-contained sun that can generate as much heat as I need to stay aloft.

Author: ... Sure, what could possibly go wrong?

Twilight: As long as you don't botch it up, nothing.

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) You know what it needs? Streamers!

Rarity: Streamers?

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Whose balloon is it?!

Rarity: ... Not yours?

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Oh, right.

(doors swing shut and lock)

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) But I know what IS mine and I'm willing to share!

Twilight: You shouldn't have...

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Rainbow?

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Today's story is about a heartbreaking love story between two blimps! What saucy romance will occur? You'll need to read to find out!

Rarity: I don't think anything is going to occur besides me getting a headache...

Twilight: And nausea. Lots of nausea.

(buzzer sounds)

All: We've got story sign!

The morning air was crisp and cool with barely a breeze blowing. The sky was crystal blue, and the rays of the sun played lazily across the green countryside.

Twilight: Ah, nothing like a generic opening to put me to sleep.

It was the perfect day, thought Twilight Blimple, for a flight.

All: (exchange glances)

Rarity: Why do I have a feeling this is going to get very weird, very quickly?

The little purple sparkly blimp slowly rose into the air, enjoying the wind as it played across her surface. Her propellers spun into life as she turned in a westerly direction, the fluted spire that jutted out from her control deck pointing the way.

Author: Does Twilight Blimple have a pilot?

Rarity: It doesn't look like it.

Author: Then why is there a cockpit?

Twilight: Good question, but here's a better one; WHY AM I A BLIMP?

Author: Yeah, that is kind of odd...

Twilight wasn't a big blimp. Her gasbag was large but stubby, her fins small and protruding, and her purple gondola cabin was slung almost apologetically underneath. Growing up as a little balloon in the big city she had always been jealous of the other airships, who always seemed to be more graceful than she. But soon study had paid off.

Author: I don't know. Sounds more like she's just full of hot air. (Twilight slaps him) Oh, come on, that was good!

Today, she was on an important mission. Today she had to ferry vital medical aid across Airquestria. A hailstorm had hit the town of Hull,

Author: I get it! It's called that because she needs to 'hull' medical supplies there!

Rarity: I believe you're thinking of 'haul', dear.

Author: I believe you can 'shut up', Rarity.

and puncture repair kits were urgently needed. Half of the kits were now safely stored in her cargo hold; the other half were being delivered by someblimp else. As her engines chugged softly across the landscape,

Rarity: Is she a train or a blimp?

Twilight wondered who would be joining her on this mission of mercy.

Twilight: Derpy Balloons?

Rarity: Pinkie Flight?

Author: Flutterhigh?

Rarity: Apple Jump?

She knew Airity was busy designing new fashionable moorings,

Author: Scratch that, Airity is definitely the one full of hot air.

Rarity: Author?

Author: Yes?

Rarity: Shut up.

and Rainbow Dirigible was taking part in a race. Perhaps this would be a chance to make another friend, and provide the contents of another friendship report to HMA Celestia.

Her thoughts were interrupted as a shadow fell across her. The pleasant sounds of her engines and the general noise of nature

Author: Such as the sounds of birds being sucked into her turbines.

was drowned out by a powerful thrumming, as above Twilight a huge shape powered into view. Twilight shrank back -

Author: You might say she felt 'deflated'! (Rarity kicks him)

the newcomer was a massive silver and blue zeppelin, over 300 metres long and covered in magnificent fins, with a smooth, sleek undercarriage that had a tiny purple cloak attached.

Twilight: (narrowing her eyes) I'd know that pretentious cloak anywhere...

On its side was the legend "Die großartige und mächtige Trixieburg."

Author: Um... Why's she German? And don't any of you smart ass readers tell me it's because she has 'berg' slapped onto the end of her name.

"Well well well, if it isn't Twilight Blimple" purred the huge airship,

Rarity: Her mother was a cat.

Author: I really hope that sex tape isn't released...

as Twilight found herself buffeted in its wake. "It seems they wanted to give me some entertainment for my important mission!"

"Trixieberg!" Twilight hissed upwards,

Twilight: I don't know about you two, but I find the idea of blimps hissing a bit off.

Rarity: Her father was a snake.

Author: Stop putting images into my head!

as she unsteadily gained altitude to fly to window-level with her new companion. "This is bigger than our rivalry! The poor citizens of Hull will deflate if we don't get there soon!

Rarity: "Oh no! If that happens, then we'd have to inflate them again! Oh the ponanity!"

Besides, I'm carrying just as much cargo as you!"

Author: Methinks someone's compensating for something...

Trixieburg's eyes turned in Twilight's direction, and Twilight thought she could see a flicker of a smile fall across her cabin. "Oh yes Twilight, I forgot, you have a very spacious rear cargo bay!"

Twilight: "Oh, it... Is... ON!"

Rarity: ... That's my line.

Twilight blushed a bright crimson, revving up her motors to attempt to outpace Trixieberg. It was no use. "Leave my aft out of this!" she protested.

Author: Hey, guys love a girl who can fit their junk in their trunk. (Rarity and Twilight groan)

Trixieberg just laughed as she banked sharply to push Twilight out the way, knocking the little blimp into a spin. "Come on Twilight!" she mocked. "Trixieberg waits for no blimp!"

Author: Tell that to the Hindenburg. (silence) Okay, so I'm an awful person. So sue me.

***

Rarity: Augh!

Twilight: Oh no! Rarity was hit by scene-transition stars! Somepony get a medic!

The next few hours of the journey passed in awkward silence, with just the buzzing of engines to fill the void. As night fell, both airships found their gasbags cooling, causing their altitudes to drop. Out of necessity, they huddled together for warmth.

Author: This is precisely why I snuggle with my hot air balloon; so I don't get cold at night.

Twilight eyed Trixieburg suspiciously. It had barely been a month since the boastful zeppelin had sailed into town, mocking her friends and showing off about how she had defeated a Major Ursa. A Major Ursa was a semi-mythical beast

Twilight: Poor Major Ursa. It doesn't even get the honor of being fully mythical.

that resembled a red biplane; many airships lived in fear of its dangerous machine guns. Two little balloons had travelled to the forest and woken up a baby Ursa, and it was only through Twilight Blimple's quick thinking that the town was saved.

Author: Twilight summoned a Snoopy to combat the threat.

Trixeburg had flown away in shame. Twilight hadn't broached the subject yet; she imagined Trixieburg was still bitter from the experience.

Oddly enough, it was Trixieburg who broke the long silence. "I never said thank you, Twilight."

Rarity: I'd assume that's because you have nothing to be thankful for, but carry on.

Twilight blinked, her rudders rotating in shock. "Uh, what?"

Trixieburg banked slightly.

Twilight: She wasn't really that into investing.

"I was out of order and you saved me. It hadn't been a good year for me. I shouldn't have flown off like that. I... I was glad it was you, Twilight."

Twilight bobbed a bit higher at this revelation. This was a side of Trixieburg she hadn't expected.

Author: She hadn't expected the 'blindside'! (Twilight smacks him)

"Y-you're sorry?" she stammered. "I mean, I thought..."

Rarity: That's a first.

Twilight: *ahem*

Rarity: But that joke was so easy!

Trixieberg cast her eyes down.

Author: Eyexpelliarmus!

"I've always been brash to hide my feelings. And I... I guess I'm extra brash with you, because my feelings for you are... extra strong." At this, Trixieburg did something Twilight would never have expected.

Twilight: Caught on fire? I'd love that.

She banked back towards Twilight, swinging herself around, her cabin pressed against Twilight's in an impassioned kiss.

Rarity: Either that, or both their cabins were demolished in the impact.

Author: THE END.

Twilight felt her engine thumping hard, blushing at this. She felt herself returning the kiss, her fins moving across Trixieberg's nacelles, her gas bag rubbing tenderly against Trixieburg's rigid frame as they embraced.

Author: I'm not sure I'd call this an embrace. More like... humping?

"I... I had no idea" Twilight gasped, her propellers spinning harder than ever at every touch. How could such a magnificent airship like Trixieberg possibly love a dumpy little blimp like her?

Author: Alcohol. And lots of it.

Rarity: I think I may need a glass or two once we're done...

This was like one of the romances novels she used to peruse back in her hanger;

Twilight: 'Fifty Fins of Grey'.

an impassioned tryst on a starry night.

"I've always loved you Twilight" Trixieburg smiled back. "Ever since that first meeting, when you floated into view. Your little ducting fans, the way your fins bob up and down. You're just perfect."

Rarity: "Well, except for the dumpy part. But we can fix that."

Twilight's purple cabin blushed bright red, harder than ever before. "Trixieberg..." she whispered shyly. "Do... do you want to...

Twilight: "Continue to not ship the supplies to those dying blimps?"

mid-air refuel?"

Trixieberg grinned. "Oh Twilight, you're so vanilla. I was thinking more about some docking."

Rarity: (gasps) Docking?! That's so... so... chocolate!

Twilight gasped, but the allure of the powerful zeppelin was too much for her. She floated up beneath Trixieberg, and opened her cargo bay door, trembling. Soon she felt Trixieberg's gangplank extending, grappling onto her.

Author: Sounds like my kind of sex!

"Oh Trixieberg, Trixieberg!" Twilight cried, the little blimp bobbing up and down softly beneath the impassive, huge zeppelin. "Board me!"

Twilight: Why do I picture a swarm of pirates suddenly invading my hull?

AUthor: I guess there's more than one kind of treasure they can pillage...

As Twilight became lost in her passion, she did not notice Trixieberg decoupling, or the swoosh as the zeppelin suddenly started to ascend higher into the sky. She did, however, notice herself getting heavier as she dipped down towards the ground, struggling to give herself some lift.

Rarity: "Does this cargo make me look fat?"

"I don't understand..." she wondered loudly, and then gasped in realisation - Trixieberg had unloaded her cargo into her!

Twilight: I hate it when that happens!

"See you later, loser" mocked Trixieberg as the majestic zeppelin climbed higher and higher.

Author: She should've flown. Much easier than climbing.

"You can deliver all the cargo to Hull; the great and powerful Trixieberg has far more important things to do!"

Twilight: (grumbling) Yeah, like deflating your ego...

Twilight looked longingly into the sky as Trixieberg sailed away into the stars. A single tear rolled down her cabin. "I'll see you again" she sobbed at the departing zeppelin. "Oh, what huge vanity!"

Rarity: Oh, what a huge waste of time. Where's my drink?

Twilight: Quick! We can escape the story in my hot air balloon!

Author: Twilight, the story's over.

Twilight: Hm, no exits...

Rarity: Pinkie's going to open the door soon, don't worry.

Twilight: It's a good thing I have these missiles that I recently installed. That'll let us escape!

Author: Look, I- Wait, what?!

(Loud explosion, followed by black smoke obscuring the entire studio)

Pinkie Pie: (from TV, coughing) Are you all okay? I can't see anypony!

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Why are you coughing? And maybe we should call for help... I can't see anything!

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) I'm sure they're all fine. Press the button, Dashie!

?: My arm! I think it's gone!

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Are you sure we shouldn't send for help?

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Abso-tiva-lutely!

?: Don't worry about your arm! I found it next to my spleen!

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Yep, just fine!

(Rainbow Dash presses button, and TV turns off with a blip) Next Chapter: Guest Submission: 'I've changed for you, my love' Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 9 Minutes