Bronies! It is I, RatherHomely, here with another MPPT! Today's story is a gory mess that was actually requested by the person who wrote it, 92snakeman. Being a story inspired by Cupcakes (I'd go so far as to label it a sequel.), what do I think of it? Well, there's grammar errors everywhere (Spelling mistakes I can understand, I make them myself, but forgetting to CAPITALIZE the start of sentences and quotes?!), the characters are OOC (Though most gore fics are like that, so I won't fault the story too much.), and, worst of it all, it feels like a recycled version of Cupcakes. What do I mean? There's a large number of segments where it's obvious that the writer got the material straight from Cupcakes. That disappoints me, because there's a few moments where the story actually has some creative ideas, but the number of times it falls back on previous material makes it feel unoriginal. You can read the unriffed version in all its, um, glory here. If you couldn't read Cupcakes even with the riffing, then you should probably sit out for this story. Anyway, enjoy!

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Rarity: And I got THIS one from Canterlot, when Fine Fashion was holding one of his shows!
Author: Fascinating...
Rarity: For some reason, I feel as though you aren't all that interested.
Author: Rarity, you're showing me your collection of embroidered horseshoes! Of course it doesn't interest me!
Rarity: Well, I never! You're always sharing those silly story ideas with me! You think I'M interested in those?
Author: ... Touche.
Rarity: At least Twilight appreciates my stories, right Twilight?
Twilight: (Snoring.)
Rarity: I said, RIGHT TWILIGHT?
Twilight: Ah! Um, absolutely! I love hearing about the time you went to Fillydelphia and-
Rarity: Canterlot.
Twilight: Canterlot and bought stuff!
Rarity: Thanks Twilight, you're a real friend...
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) OH! Did you buy any sweets or goodies?!
Rarity: Pinkie, I hardly think sweets are desirable to maintain my most elegant physique.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Maybe not, but I know what will help...
(Doors swing shut and lock.)
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: (From TV) An MPPT!
Rarity: Oh joy, just what I always wanted. I can feel the grey hairs growing on my mane as we speak...
Twilight: Alright, might as well tell us what you have lined up for today.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) I've got a kick-ass gore fic for ya! And by kick-ass, I mean it'll feel as though you got your ass kicked by the time the story's done.
Author: Sounds promising.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) It gets better. The story is basically a sequel to Cupcakes. At least, while it's not busy copying the original.
Rarity: Ah, yes, because I enjoyed Cupcakes so much the first time, I DEFINITELY want to read it again.
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Really?!
Rarity: No, not real-
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) SUPER! Let's get started!
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!

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The Little Bakery of Horrors

Twilight: It's so horrible because they keep screwing up my orders.

"Oh dear, I slept in."

Rarity: Brilliant delivery!
Author: I giveth unto thee ALL the Oscars!

Fluttershy had just woken up when she looked over at the clock on the wall. It was already 10:00, four hours after the time when Angel would normally come and wake her up.

Author: Holy crap, she slept till 10 PM?
Rarity: Dearie, it doesn't actually say that.
Author: Well it doesn't say it... um... Isn't!

She knew immediately that there was no time to waste; by now all of her animal friends must be starving.

Rarity: Literally.

Normally she would have fed them at seven AM sharp, so she knew they were going to be angry at her and think she had forgotten them.

Author: Those animals sound like intolerant bastards.

She hurried out of bed and flew downstairs into the kitchen. As she suspected, there was a crowd of fuzzy faces with sad eyes looking up at her, as if to ask why she had forgotten them. She flew up to the cupboard and took out several bags of food, even taking an extra bag of food

Twilight: For herself.

as an apology for her tardiness.
"Here you go, friends. I'm so sorry I made you wait; I feel just terrible about myself.

Rarity: I'm getting the feeling she feels sorry.

I don't know how this happened; normally Angel would have woken me up." When she said this last sentence, she suddenly realized that Angel's food bowl was full. "Has anybody seen Angel this morning?" she asked,

Author: "He hasn't finished his serving of pony flesh."

but all of the animals simply shook their heads.
"Oh dear, without Angel, I've got to work extra fast if I want to help clean up all your homes today." It was Tuesday, the day when Fluttershy would normally help her friends clean out their houses.

Twilight: Normally. Today she was going to pour trash on them all as a change of pace.

Normally she would have all day to finish this task, but today she had promised to meet Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner at 3:00, so she had been hoping that Angel would be able to take over for her while she was gone.

Author: ANGEL! Do everything!

Since Angel wasn't around, Fluttershy knew she was going to need to clean all the animals' houses herself before three.

Author: Hey, a little sham-wow will do wonders.

The work wasn't easy, but Fluttershy managed to finish cleaning her friends' houses at 2:50.

Twilight: Wow. Wasn't this a pivotal opening?

There wasn't much time left; she had to be at Sugarcube Corner in ten minutes. She was already panting from all the work, so she was worried she wouldn't make it in time. When she took off to fly to Sugarcube Corner,

Twilight: There was some technical difficulties.
Author: Universal Pictures presents Tom Hanks in; "Fluttershy 13".

a pair of birds flew up in front of her. Each one of them was holding a piece of string in its mouth, and the strings were coming together and wrapping around a glass of lemonade.

Author: The lemonade was sentenced to death by hanging for manslaughter.

As Fluttershy took the glass and drank it, she looked at the birds and said "thank you so much; I was in such a hurry I didn't even realize how thirsty I was." She then turned around to see all her friends gathered in her yard waving at her. "Bye, little friends, I promise I'll be back in time to tuck you all in tonight"

Rarity: Okay, who wants to wager on whether or not she keeps that promise?

she said as she waved goodbye to the crowd of animals.
Fluttershy reached Sugarcube Corner at 3:05, not without the fear

Twilight: This story is not without the weird sentence structure.

that Pinkie Pie was going to be mad at her for being late. She timidly peeked through the door and squeaked "um, Pinkie, I'm here. I'm so sorry I made you wait so long."
Out of nowhere a pair of pink hooves grabbed Fluttershy and pulled her into the room.

Twilight: By "room", do you mean the store? Because technically Fluttershy hadn't gone inside yet.

Fluttershy was scared at first, but then she realized that it was just Pinkie, who had pulled her into the room and wrapped her in a big bear hug. "Oh, it wasn't long at all, you silly filly! What's five minutes between friends?"

Author: "Twenty hours! NOW DIE FOR YOUR TARDINESS!" ... Also I suppose if Fluttershy was made into a cupcake she'd be a bit...
Rarity: Don't you dare say it.
Author: Tart! (Roundhouse kicked in the face by Rarity.)

Pinkie sang out as she released Fluttershy from her grip.
Fluttershy needed to catch her breath; that hug was like a vice.

Twilight: President.

She knew Pinkie was easily excitable, but was surprised to get such a big reception just for showing up to a scheduled meeting.

Rarity: Fluttershy, if you knew Pinkie Pie at all, you'd know that's hardly unusual.

"Um, Pinkie, you still haven't told me what you wanted to see me for" she timidly mentioned after she was done panting.
"Oh, I just wanted you to help me make some cupcakes" Pinkie responded with a grin.
"Cupcakes?" Fluttershy asked.
"Cupcakes!" Pinkie repeated.

Author: Cupcakes?
Rarity: Cupcakes?
Twilight: Yes, cupcakes!

"But, I've never tried baking before," Fluttershy said "I usually only make food for my animal friends; I'm not used to making food for ponies."

Author: Because as everyone knows, you never bake food for animals! Especially in a world where ponies, who are animals, eat baked goods with no repercussions.

"That's okay; I only need you to help with the ingredients," Pinkie assured her with a little chuckle "I'll be doing most of the real work."

Rarity: I'm getting a horrible sense of deja-vu...
Twilight: Yeah, well, I'm getting a horrible sense of lazying copying and pasting.

"Oh, well, if that's the case," Fluttershy looked at the ground while considering the suggestion

Author: "Hey ground, what do you think?"

"I'll be happy to help."
Pinkie noticed the sad tone in Fluttershy's voice, even sadder than usual.

Twilight: I never knew Fluttershy was clinically depressed.

"What's wrong, Fluttershy?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

Rarity: Pinkie Pie doesn't fully grasp the concept of "sadness".

Fluttershy sighed and explained "well, this morning Angel didn't wake me up like she normally would. My other animal friends said they haven't seen him all morning. I'm just worried about him."

Author: "I just hope nothing sharp and pointy eviscerated him."
Twilight: "Um... Yeah, of course not, I'm sure he's fine."

Pinkie laughed

Rarity: At Fluttershy's emotional connections.

and patted Fluttershy on the shoulder "oh, don't worry about Angel, Fluttershy. He's the smartest bunny of all; he couldn't have gotten lost or anything bad like that!"

Twilight: "Plus he makes a great toaster cover!"

Fluttershy sighed again and replied "yeah, you're right. Sometimes it seems like I need Angel more than he needs me."
"That's the spirit!" Pinkie sang out as she hopped over to the counter.

Rarity: Nothing like supporting a friend's self-confidence issues to alleviate her emotional distress.

She grabbed a plate with a cupcake on it and hopped back over to Fluttershy. "Here you go; this should make you feel better.

Twilight: "And by better I mean unconscious."

I made it especially for you."

Author: "It tastes a bit like rainbows. And shame."

Fluttershy wasn't sure at first; she was too worried about Angel to think about her hunger, but she didn't want to make Pinkie feel bad, so she ate the cupcake anyway. It was the best cupcake she'd ever tasted; it genuinely made her feel a bit better. However, a moment later she started to feel light headed.

Author: That's not so bad. Wait until Pinkie Pie gives her some brownies.

She didn't know what was wrong, but figured it was probably because she was still hungry. "Wow, Pinkie, this is delicious. What's in it?"
"Oh, just a dash of rainbow!" Pinkie sang

Twilight: (Let's out an exasperated groan.)
Author: Buy her album to hear her sing "Rainbow Connection" and "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".

as Fluttershy started wobbling back and forth.
"What does that mean?"

Author: (SInging) That boy needs therapy.

Fluttershy asked, now trying as hard as she could to keep her eyes open.
Pinkie just giggled and told her "don't worry; you'll understand when you wake up!"
"What do you mean," Fluttershy asked "I'm not asleeee." Her sentence was cut off when she collapsed on the floor.

Rarity: This story is about Fluttershy's case of narcolepsy, isn't it?

Fluttershy awoke when she heard a strange sound. It sounded like someone or something was whimpering somewhere behind her.

Author: That's just the readers. Don't mind them.

She tried to turn her head, but realized that it wouldn't budge; a strap had been tightly wrapped around her forehead and was holding her head against a large metal table. When she tried to move her hooves so she could untie her head,

Author: I'd love to watch a pony attempt to work with knots.
Rarity: What do you mean?
Author: You know. Hooves. Ropes. The ability to tie them.
Twilight: What about it?
Author: ... Nevermind.

she realized that all four of her hooves were strapped down just as tightly. The only things she was able to move were her wings, which were sticking through a pair of small holes in the table.

Twilight: Look at that, Pinkie's using this story's plot holes to help torture Fluttershy.

She began to panic. Her eyes darting around the room, she stuttered "wh-where am I. W-wh-why is it so dark? Why am I t-tied up?"
"You're not tied up; you're strapped to a table, silly!" a high voice said with a giggle from somewhere in front of her.

Author: Le gasp! It's Big Macintosh!

"Pinkie, is that you?" Fluttershy asked, still trying to move her hooves.
"Oh course," the voice giggled "who else would it be?"

Rarity: Spike?
Twilight: Discord?
Author: A Fluttershy clop writer?

"But why am I strapped to this table?" Fluttershy asked in a half-scared and half-worried voice.
"So it'll be easier for me to make the cupcakes, of course!" Pinkie said.
"How is this going to help make cupcakes?"
"It'll make it much easier for me to get my special ingredient this way!"
"What special ingredient?" Fluttershy asked in an increasingly scared tone.
"You, of course!" Pinkie giggled.

Author: A-dur! You so stupid Fluttershy! Of COURSE you should've known that!

Before Fluttershy could say anything else, she found herself bathed in a powerful white light.

Author: God has decided that this crap has gone on long enough, and is now intervening.

The sudden burst of light blinded her for a few seconds, and as her vision came back Fluttershy became petrified by what she saw.

Rarity: Furniture with clashing colors EVERYWHERE!

The room she was in was littered with the entrails of other ponies.

Twilight: I beg to differ. In Cupcakes it was stated quite clearly that the entrails were neatly hung, and not littered about.

The ceiling was lined with streamers that had been made from intestines; brightly painted skulls with party hats made from their own skin were placed on counter-tops and hung on the walls; hearts, lungs, and stomachs floated up to the ceiling like balloons, tied up at the bottom with strings made out of veins; a banner made from hides was hanging from the ceiling, complete with the phrase "Life is a party!" written in dripping red letters; there was a table in the middle of the room which had been crafted out of hides and bones that had been crudely stitched together, surrounded by chairs made in the same manner.

Author: Unoriginality: The Story.

All of these sights were terrifying in their own right, but what scared Fluttershy the most was what was sitting at a chair at the end of the table: the stuffed body of a cyan-colored Pegasus pony with rainbow-colored hair.

Rarity: Let's see... Nope, I haven't the foggiest idea about who that is.

"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy screamed as she realized just what she was looking at.

Author: Actually it's a plushy, but you weren't too far off.

Suddenly a door opened, and Pinkie Pie entered the room with a large cart covered by a cloth. "Yeah," she said "wasn't it nice of Dashie to take time off from her busy schedule to come and join us?"

Author: Badum-tish.

When Pinkie stopped talking,

Twilight: Is that even possible?

she moved around the side of the cart and looked up at Fluttershy.

Rarity: "Looked up"? What is she, hanging from the ceiling?

Fluttershy's shock was renewed

Author: Feeling underwhelmed? Renew your shock today with the refreshing taste of Goretorade!

when she saw Pinkie's choice of attire: she was draped in a cloak which was made from the sewn-together cutie marks of dozens of different ponies; along her back were six differently-colored Pegasus wings; around her neck she wore a necklace covered in the horns of unicorns. When she saw the necklace, Fluttershy's heart skipped a beat. "Oh no," she squeaked "please don't tell me that's…"

Twilight: "Another description copied from Cupcakes."

Her sentence was cut off when Pinkie jumped up and said "that's right, it is! I've always wanted one of these, ever since I was a teeny little Twinkie

Author: Period.

Pinkie! You know, some ponies say these are good luck" she said as she held her new rabbit's foot up to Fluttershy's face.
"But, where did it come from?" Fluttershy asked, but before she could get an answer she started hearing the same whimpering that had woken her up in the first place.

Rarity: Alright, who saw this coming?
All: (Raise hands. Er, hooves and hand.)

"Of course," Pinkie laughed "how could I have forgotten?"

Twilight: Pinkie Pie is forgetful, just like in the original Cupcakes.
Author: At least the characterization is consistent.
Rarity: It is?
Author: Yeah. Consistently OOC.

She grabbed the edge of the table and started rotating it until it was facing the other end of the room. Fluttershy screamed when she saw what was on the other side of the room.

Author: "Pinkie Pie! What's with all the porn?!

In the far right corner of the room, Angel was laying on the floor crying as blood squirted out of the spot where his left foot used to be.

Author: He's like a mini ketchup bottle being squeezed!
Rarity: ...
Twilight: ... Author? Shut up.

"How could you?" Fluttershy asked in a desperately failed attempt to hold back her tears.

Twilight: "pretty easily. First I took a hacksaw and I cut through the initial skin, then I...
Rarity: Stop.

"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked "you're the one who said you needed Angel more than Angel needed you. If that's the case, I thought you'd be happy spending your last moments with him."

Author: Troll logic for the win. Problem, Fluttershy?

She thought for a moment, then came up with an idea "say, since we're such good friends, how would you like your own lucky rabbit's foot?"
Fluttershy quickly shouted "no, please don't! Not my little Angel!" but Pinkie had already taken a large pair of scissors out of a pocket in her cloak and started walking over to where the rabbit was lying.

Twilight: This is what he gets for not telling the truth.

She picked up the bottom of Angel's right foot and slid the scissors around it, getting ready to slice it,

Rarity: Ah yes, because scissors definitely have the ability to cut through bone.

but when she looked back at Fluttershy she saw that her eyes were closed hard and pouring tears.
"Aw, Fluttershy," Pinkie sighed as she took the scissors off the bunny's leg "it's no fun doing party tricks if my audience has its eyes closed. Let me help you with that."

Author: (Shudders.) I'll never be able to watch a commercial about Home Depot again...

Suddenly Fluttershy felt her left eye being pulled open and saw Pinkie holding her scissors up to her face. "What are you doing, Pinkie?" she cried.
"Oh, you're the Stare Master, remember," Pinkie chuckled "you don't need eyelids anyway."

Rarity: Makes sense to me.

As she said this, Pinkie pulled the top half of Fluttershy's left eyelid forward and opened the scissors a little bit to avoid cutting anything else.

Twilight: I always like my maniac serial killers to be considerate.

Fluttershy's eye was twitching back and forth and she was screaming for Pinkie to stop, but Pinkie gingerly eased the front of the scissors around part of the eyelid and took a snip.

Author: (Singing) Shave and a haircut... Two eyelids!

Blood started dripping into Fluttershy's eye as Pinkie took another snip. One bit at a time she cut away eyelid until only a small piece of skin held it in place. She then grabbed it and yanked it off with one big pull.

Rarity: "Ah! I'm never going to ask you to trim my mane ever again!

Fluttershy cried as Pinkie pulled on the lower half of the eyelid and repeated the process.
Once she had removed Fluttershy's left eyelid, Pinkie noticed just how much blood was pouring over it. "Oh, that's no good," she sighed "now you still won't be able to see."

Twilight: Time for some creative problem solving, Pinkie Pie style!

She hopped behind the table and Fluttershy heard her pull the tarp off of the tray she had brought in earlier. Soon the pink pony was back and holding up a small box. She opened it and pulled out what looked like a small transparent disc. She placed it over Fluttershy's bloody eye and Fluttershy realized it was a contact lens. She then took out another one and placed it in Fluttershy's good eye and giggled "much better."

Author: Good job, Pinkie! You just succeeded in not fixing the problem at all!

Now Pinkie took her scissors back out and held them up to Fluttershy's right eye. Fluttershy knew what was coming, so she tried to brace herself for the pain, but still ended up shrieking when her remaining eyelid was removed.

Rarity: Pansy! Why, if I had MY eyelid cut off, I wouldn't complain in the slightest!

With her audience now unable to look away or close her eyes,

Twilight: Or see, because the blood is busy coagulating over her eyes.

the pink party pony but the scissors in her mouth and hopped back to Angel.

Author: Hey! Don't you know it's dangerous to hop with scissors in your mouth?

Once again she lifted the terrified bunny's foot and slid the scissors around the ankle. With tears filling her eyes, Fluttershy screamed "No! Please don't! Leave him alone!"
Pinkie stopped and pulled back the scissors. She looked up at Fluttershy and said "okie dokie lokie! If you care that much, I won't lay one more hoof on Angel."
Despite her terror, Fluttershy now actually found tears of joy coming to her eyes as she stuttered "ththth-thank you" but her relief was short lived.

Author: A car accident took its life before it had even reached thirty.

After she left Angel's side, Pinkie threw the scissors to the other side of the room and hopped over to a tiny door on the wall. She knocked on the door and sang out "Gummy, dinner's ready."

Twilight: Hey, that's my favorite song...
Author: Is it wrong that I laughed when I read that sentence?

After realizing what she had just heard, Fluttershy screamed again, her tears of joy replaced by ones of fear and sorrow. "No, please don't! Not Angel! He never did anything to you! Please spare him!"
"And let Gummy starve?" Pinkie asked. "For someone who loves animals so much, I'm shocked you're so insensitive to the troubles of starving animals."

Author: That's... Actually a somewhat valid point.

"But why Angel?" Fluttershy whimpered.
"Duh," Pinkie responded "because Gummy's a carnivore.

Twilight: I don't think that's quite what she meant.

He's fine with my sweets, but he can't survive without meat in his diet." As Pinkie said this, the tiny door swung open and the tiny toothless reptile came crawling out.

Rarity: What's he going to do, gum Angel to death?

Gummy immediately started walking over to Angel, but he stopped when Pinkie calmly said "wait, you forgot something." She reached back through the tiny door and pulled out a little metal box. She opened it up and pulled out a set of jagged, metal dentures. Gummy opened his mouth wide, and Pinkie gently slipped the denchers into his mouth, making sure they fit into place.

Rarity: ... Nevermind.

Gummy crawled over to Angel and opened his mouth wide, salivating profusely while licking his metal teeth.

Author: "Ow! They're pointy!"

He put his mouth around Angel's right foot and snapped, cutting the appendage off like a hot knife through butter.

Author: Hm... Now I'm hungry for some chicken. (Rarity and Twilight give him a horrified look.) Oh, uh, I meant to say... Ah. How horrible.

Fluttershy screamed as she watched, but Pinkie simply stood to the side with a bucket of popcorn.

Twilight: At least one pony's enjoying this story.

Gummy then wrapped his jaws around Angel's head and started to squeeze. Angel and Fluttershy shrieked in unison

Rarity: THey went through hours of rehearsal to do that.

as blood began oozing out from the spots where the metal teeth were digging into the rabbit's skull.

Author: Jaws ain't got nothing on Gummy!

After what seemed like an eternity, Fluttershy felt her heart sink as she heard a loud cracking sound. Suddenly, Angel's head was crushed like an egg.

Author: Mmmm... Eggs... (Twilight and Rarity give him horrified looks.)
Twilight: You EAT chicken embryos?!
Author: Um... Er... It's not quite as simple as that...
Rarity: I think I'm going to be sick...
Twilight: One of my best friends and finest assistants was hatched from an egg!
Author: Gah! That came out wrong... Uh, look! A horrible story! Let's riff it!

Gummy gulped down the chunks of brain that were in his mouth, and then turned his head to pick up what had fallen out. Finally he grabbed Angel's lifeless body in his jaws and gulped it down.

Twilight: If he was going to eat the entire body anyway, why did he go through the process of breaking the skull?

Pinkie hopped over to her little companion

Author: Cube.

and giggled "did you enjoy your little snack?" Gummy looked at her with his usual absent-minded smile, and opened his mouth so Pinkie could take the dentures back. Once the dentures were back in the box, Pinky pushed the tiny door back open and let the alligator leave the room. She then turned back at Fluttershy, who was crying so much that her tears had cleared the blood from her eyes.

Rarity: Which means she hadn't actually seen anything, making the whole attempt to prevent her from looking away completely pointless to the story.
Twilight: You're forgetting something; The entire STORY is pointless to the story!

She hopped over to the corner where Angel had spent her last hours and shook her head in disappointment. "I really need to teach that alligator to clean up after himself"

Twilight: And we need to teach this author that sentences are supposed to end with punctuation.
Author: Before that, we need to teach the writer that capitalizing the start of a quote isn't optional.

she said as she looked up at the pool of blood and bits of flesh that remained. She hopped

Rarity: I know Pinkie bounces quite a bit, but does she really bounce THIS much?
Twilight: I don't think she's walked once in this story.

back to the other side of the room, and then came back with a bucket and a funnel. She set down the bucket and funnel, and then pulled a sponge out of the bucket.
She used the sponge to clean up the blood from the floor, and then wrung it out into the bucket.

Author: My Little Bakery of Horror! Watch as Pinkie Pie wipes up messes!

Finally she picked up the pieced of leftover flesh and put them into the bucket as well, except for the ears. She held up the ears and giggled "maybe I can use these as part of my outfit now. Don't they look great on me?" she asked as she held the ears up to her own and waved them around.

Rarity: Color them pink and you're golden. Well, you'll be pink, but by being pink you're golden-
Twilight: Don't strain yourself.

She then picked back up the bucket and the funnel and walked over to Fluttershy. "I know you must be starving," she said, "after all you didn't finish your cupcake earlier. I hope Gummy doesn't mind me sharing his leftovers with you."
"No, please don't," Fluttershy pleaded "anything but that!"

Author: "It's Friday! I'm not allowed to eat meat on Fridays!"

Pinkie just laughed and said "oh, it's fine. Haven't you ever had rabbit stew before?" She put the funnel in Fluttershy's mouth and began to pour the contents of the bucket into the top. Fluttershy gagged and whimpered

Twilight: "I'm going to take that as a no."

as the remains of her beloved little bunny rabbit were forced down her throat by her best friend. She wanted to wake up more than anything, but she knew in her heart that this wasn't a dream. Once the bucket was empty, Pinkie put it down and pulled the funnel back out of Fluttershy's mouth. As soon as the funnel was gone, Fluttershy opened her mouth and vomited.

Author: C'mon, I know she didn't cook it, but it couldn't have been THAT bad.

The rabbit blood now stained her pelt, and Pinkie looked at her in disappointment. "Aw, Fluttershy," she sighed "if you weren't hungry you should have said so.

Twilight: That is true.

Now you've gone and ruined your beautiful pelt. When I was done I was hoping to stuff you like Dashie, but now I'm going to need to do so much extra work just to clean your fur so that it still looks nice."

Rarity: Actually, some mild detergent and a bit of ammonia can get the stain out easily..

She grabbed the side of the table and rotated it around until Fluttershy was once again staring at the table with the taxidermy Pegasus staring back at her.

Pinkie Pie: Staring contest, GO!
Author: ... Did either of you hear something?
Twilight: I didn't.
Rarity: Were we supposed to?

Fluttershy cried and asked "why? Why are you doing this? Aren't you my friend?"
Pinkie looked back at her with a sad look on her face "oh, Fluttershy, of course we're friends."
"Then why are you doing this to me?"

All: THE WRITER MADE HER DO IT!

"Because your number came up. I was so excited when your number came up; never in my wildest dreams had I imagined I'd get to make cupcakes with two of my friends in a row!" Pinkie laughed. She then turned back to her tray and started digging for something. "Aha!" she proclaimed "there it is! I've been waiting to use this one for so long, but nopony had the right kind of cutie mark.
"What do you mean the right cutie mark?"

Author: She means one that isn't the wrong cutie mark. Duh!

asked the trembling Pegasus. Pinkie pulled her hoof back out of the tray, holding a butterfly-shaped cookie cutter. She then walked up to Fluttershy's right flank and pressed the cookie cutter against one of the butterflies that made up Fluttershy's cutie mark.

Rarity: Cut out the skin, stick it in the oven, and presto! Skin Snack Cookies(TM) for all the neighborhood fillies!

"Wait, no, stop!" Fluttershy pleaded as Pinkie squealed with joy.

Twilight: Let's see Pinkie wiggle her way out of that one when she says, "Oh, you didn't say you didn't want m to do it."

"It's perfect. It's just the right size!" she announced as she started skipping around in a circle around the table. When she got back to Fluttershy,

Twilight: She never LEFT Fluttershy.

Pinkie once again placed the cookie cutter on Fluttershy's cutie mark, but this time she started pushing it down hard. Fluttershy screamed and tried to wriggle away, but this only managed to make the cookie cutter dig deeper into her flesh and scratch up the muscles under her skin. "Fluttershy," Pinkie said "are you trying to make this more painful than it has to be? Please stop struggling or I won't be able to get a clean cut."

Author: Yeah, you inconsiderate jerk.

Fluttershy realized Pinkie wasn't going to stop, so she tried to stay still, but her flank felt like it was on fire all the same. All of a sudden, Pinkie ripped the pink butterfly mark off of Fluttershy's flank and swung it over to the table.

Author: It's a home run! The crowd goes wild!
Rarity and Twilight: ...
Author: Scratch that, the crowd goes comatose.

When she saw her cutie mark lying on the table like a napkin,

Rarity: ... A curious comparison to say the least...
Twilight: Could you wipe your mouth with it?
Author: Only if you don't mind smearing blood on your face.

Fluttershy started crying again, but Pinkie hushed her "oh, come on. That was just one butterfly; you've still got five more to go."
"B-but Pinkie, you said you wanted to stuff me," she stuttered "won't you need to put them back to do that?"

Rarity: Okay, you know the story is horrid when the actual characters INSIDE THE STORY start pointing out the plot holes.
Author: And the hole holes. (Rarity slaps him.)

Pinkie sighed "I know it's hard work, but don't worry about me. The best meat to use in the cupcakes is the meat right behind the cutie marks, so I just have to take off the cutie marks if I want to get it."

Twilight: So, they're directly behind the cutie marks? As in, the biological development of ponies over the course of millions of years has led to the best meat being in a butterfly shape on a single pony?
Rarity: Apparently.
Twilight: ... You know what? My brain needs some down time to process the stupid. Let's take a break...

---

Author: Alright gang, we've sat through a little more than half the story. Let's try to give the writer some constructive criticism, so he may better his writing.
Rarity: You mean his random pounding on the keyboard?
Author: Oh, come on, it's not that bad.
Rarity: You are entirely correct, random button pressing on the keyboard would have produced something far more enjoyable.
Twilight: I, for one, like how the story doesn't involve me in any way in it.
Author: That does seem to be a pretty rare quality, isn't it? Rarity, anything you liked?
Rarity: ... Well, I suppose I enjoyed the part where there wasn't any gore. Except for the very beginning where Fluttershy was on her way to Pinkie's.
Author: Um... I don't think there is a part with no gore.
Rarity: Precisely.
Twilight: Here's a question; What haven't we liked about the story so far? (The three exchange glances, before breaking out into raucous laughter.)
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: (Still laughing, but manage to speak.)We've got story sign!

---

Once she finished giving her explanation, she proceeded to press the cookie cutter against another one of the butterfly marks on Fluttershy's flank. One by one, she carved away all five of the remaining butterflies,

Author: The writer was going to use the phrase "cookie-cutting away", but that didn't sound too menacing.

leaving Fluttershy with six bloody, butterfly shaped scars carved into her flanks.
When the last mark was removed, Fluttershy burst into tears.

Twilight: You mean she managed to stop crying at some point?

She had been holding in all her tears so she could make the process as painless as possible, but now that it was over she released all of her pain and sadness in one big torrent of tears.

Rarity: I guess it didn't work.

Pinkie walked up to her and used one of the butterfly marks to wipe away the tears, but the sight of her beautiful cutie marks being used in such a way only made Fluttershy break down even more. She was crying and screaming as loud as she could.

Author: Celestia dammit, SHUT UP! I know you're being butchered alive, but could you please be a little more quiet about it?!

She had always been very quiet, but now her screaming was so loud that Pinkie was afraid that someone might actually hear it through the soundproofed walls. Thinking quickly, Pinkie stuffed the butterfly into Fluttershy's mouth to gag her.

Twilight: Wit as quick as a whip.

Fluttershy quickly spat it back out onto the table, but it was clear that it had done what Pinkie wanted. Fluttershy had been hysterical, so this sudden attack had snapped her out of it and, although she was still crying, Fluttershy was starting to try and catch her breath.

Rarity: "Thanks Pinkie Pie. I needed that."

"This will never do," the pink pony said "if you keep screaming like that, someone might find us and we won't be able to have any more fun together. We need to find a way to stop you from getting so loud.

Author: Oh, just kill her already so we can leave!

Where's your normal quiet voice when I need it?" As if on cue, a whistle came from the room Pinkie had originally entered from. "Ooh," Pinkie rejoiced "I almost forgot." She hopped out of the room and came back in with a teapot.

Twilight: "No Pinkie Pie, don't! You know I hate herbal teas!"

"I had figured you might be too sensitive for this, so I decided to prepare some tea to calm your nerves."

Author: "And by calm I mean SEAR THEM OFF."

She walked back up to Fluttershy and stood up in front of her, holding the teapot up to Fluttershy's mouth. Fluttershy closed her mouth as tightly as she could, but it was no use.

Rarity: Nopony could resist the power of Tea Time!

Pinkie simply walked back behind the table and came back with the same funnel which she had used to force feed Fluttershy the remains of Angel earlier. She popped the tip of the funnel through Fluttershy's lips

Twilight: I'm not sure pop is the right word...

and pushed it in as far as she could with Fluttershy resisting, and then she reached for the side of the table and tilted it backwards so the tea would be easier to swallow.

Rarity: Well, isn't that nice of her?

Finally she clenched the base of the funnel and poured the scalding hot tea down Fluttershy's throat.

Rarity: The fiend! She didn't ask whether Fluttershy wanted any sugar in her tea!

Fluttershy felt as if her throat was on fire, but she found that she couldn't scream. Even after the tea stopped flowing and the funnel was removed, Fluttershy realized that her throat had been so badly burned that anything she tried to say caused her incredible pain.
"There we go," Pinkie laughed

Twilight: She's getting a laugh out of how ridiculous this story is.

"and now we can move on to the wings."
Despite her burning throat, Fluttershy croaked "wings?"
"Yes," Pinkie assured her

Rarity: "Thanks, Pinkie, I feel so much better..."

"I always do the wings after the cutie marks, but this is the first time I had to do anything between them. You're so lucky to be the first one to see me change my routine." As she spoke, Pinkie was digging through the stuff in the tray, and then pulled out a large, rusty pair of hedge clippers. "Normally I use a knife or a hack saw to cut off the wings, but I know how much you want to be a tree, so I decided to give you an idea of just what being a tree feels like."

Author: Mark my words, she's going to burn Fluttershy alive next.

Fluttershy braced for the pain, but she lost her composure the instant she felt the rusty blades sliding up the base of her right wing. "When I cut off Dashie's wings she kept struggling and I accidentally missed and cut a lot more than just her wings off,

Twilight: A reference to the other story. How clever.

so I decided to fill in the hole in the back of the table and replace it with two small ones, so now I won't need to worry so much about my aim."

Author: "Whoops! Never mind! You didn't need that head, did you?"

As she said these last words, Pinkie began to squeeze the handle of the clippers. The rusty bladed slowly cut through the skin, but Fluttershy still couldn't scream, only utter a small yelp of terror. A few seconds later, the blades struck the bone. They were too dull to cut clean through the bone, so Pinkie stopped for a moment. "Don't worry, Fluttershy, I promise I'll be able to do it with the clippers. You'll know what it's like to be a tree if it kills you." Realizing the irony of her last sentence,

Rarity: All the readers groaned.

Pinkie started giggling as she proceeded to push the handles of the clippers together with all her might.
There was an ear-splitting crunch

Author: I thought she was cutting her wings, not her ears.
Twilight: You know what the writer means!

as the bladed broke through the bone and Fluttershy's wing fell to the ground. The pain was so unbearable that Fluttershy forgot about her burnt throat and screamed as loud as possible before passing out.

Rarity: She passed out!
Twilight: This must be a spin-off story of Not My Destiny!

Soon, she woke back up to the sight of Pinkie glaring at her while holding a now empty needly of adrenaline in her mouth. "I'm really disappointed in you, Fluttershy," Pinkie protested "I thought you'd be courteous enough not to fall asleep in the middle of your friend's work. Dashie wasn't nearly as considerate as you, so I could understand her letting me down by passing out on me, but I had expected better of you.

Author: Unoriginality 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Now I'm going to have to punish you; your other wing can wait." She stormed out of the room and came back in with a bucket of red hot coals. On top of the pile were several white hot nails and four horseshoes.

Twilight: Oh no, she's going to do that thing that was already done in Cupcakes, making it neither horrifying nor surprising.

Pinkie tilted the table so that Fluttershy was now lying flat on her back. She used a pair of tongs to remove one of the horseshoes and four of the nails out of the bucket and set them next to Fluttershy's left rear hoof. She then picked up a hammer from her tray and held it in her mouth. Using the tongs, she set one of the nails into a hole on the horseshoe.

Author: You know what would make this scarier?
Twilight: I'm hesitant to ask this, but what?
Author: If instead of nailing horseshoes to Fluttershy's feet, she nailed horseshoe CRABS to her feet!
Rarity: Just... Be quiet, would you?

Then she used the tongs to pick up the horseshoe and hold it up to the bottom of Fluttershy's hoof. Fluttershy couldn't see what was happening, but once she felt the burning tip of the nail touch the bottom of her hoof, she knew exactly what was about to happen. "No, please don't" she started, but she was cut off when Pinkie slammed the hammer into the bottom of the nail, causing it to drive its way into the bottom of her hoof.

Author: (singing) I was nailed to a burning ring of fire.

Pinkie continued hitting the nail until the horseshoe was in place, and then used the tongs to pick up another nail and drove it into another one of the holes in the horseshoe. Every hit was excruciating, but Fluttershy wasn't able to do anything about it. Soon Pinkie had driven the last nail into the horseshoe, so she grabbed another horseshoe and four more nails out o the bucket. She continued this process until every one of Fluttershy's hooves had been branded with its own searing hot horseshoe.

Author: I guess you could say this is a "hot" fashion item!
Rarity: ... No.

All four of her hooves burned like fire, and Fluttershy now felt the table being tilted back upright. "Now," Pinkie said, while picking the bloody hedge clippers back up off the table, "where were we?"

Twilight: Near the end of the story, I'm hoping.

Without waiting for a response, she hurried around behind Fluttershy and gripped the base of the left wing in the jaws of the clippers. Without hesitation, she squeezed the handle with all her might until the bone was crushed like the first one had.

Author: Meh. That wasn't as dramatic as the last wing. I feel gypped.

Beside herself,

Author: The Fluttershy has been doubled!

Fluttershy screamed in agony and lost control of her bowels before passing out again.

Rarity: Gore fics; where the victims always have to loose control of their bowels at some point.

Once again, she was awoken by Pinkie using another shot of adrenaline. "What did I tell you about falling asleep while I work? Pinky demanded.
"D-don't do it" Fluttershy squeaked.

Twilight: Oh yeah, the horrible burning of her throat? She got better.

"That's right," Pinky announced "so now you'd better not fall asleep on me any more."
With tears streaming down her face, Fluttershy said "o-o-okay" in a tone so weak it was almost a whisper.

Author: So just say she whispered! Damn!

"Okie dokie lokie," Pinkie proclaimed, suddenly back to her usual tone of voice "now I just need you to hang on a little longer." Suddenly she jammed a needle into Fluttershy's chest. "There, that should help get rid of the pain,"

Author: That's what my dentist always says before starting surgery, but for some reason it never quite works.

she giggled as she took the needle back out "now you shouldn't feel anything else from your chest down, so you can stop being so fussy."

Rarity: I see. It's a pity that her THROAT, WINGS, and EYELIDS are not located below her chest!
Author: That reminds me, should Fluttershy be able to see anything now that she can't clean her eyelids? I mean, that 's the whole point of blinking.
Twilight: You know what? I think the idea of not being able to blink would be even more horrifying than the rest of this story.

"R-really?" Fluttershy weakly asked after she heard this claim.
"Yeah," Pinky laughed "you want to see?"

All: NO!

Without another word, she grabbed the end of Fluttershy's tail and pulled with all her might. The entire tail was suddenly torn from Fluttershy's rear,

Twilight: Wow. I hope I never get my tail caught on anything. It just comes right off!

and Pinkie wrapped it around her neck. "You know, Fluttershy," Pinkie said while snuggling her new scarf "I've always been jealous of just how soft and cozy your hair and tail are than mine. It's just so soft and warm" she said while burying her face in a particularly soft clump of hair.

Rarity: Ticks! Now's your chance for revenge!

Suddenly Pinkie jumped back to her tray and pulled out a scalpel. She held it up to Fluttershy's chest and made a cut in the skin just below where she had given the shot, and then she cut downward to just above Fluttershy's groin.

Author: Damn, what WAS that stuff she used? Normally it takes, like, ten minutes or so for anesthetics to kick in!

She turned it to the side and slid it sideways to make the incision wider. Then she pushed it in the other direction, turning the cut into an upside-down "t" shape.

Twilight: Now do the rest of the alphabet!

Finally she took the scalpel out and moved it back to the top of the incision, where she repeated her last step until the cut was in the shape of a massive "I."

Twilight: You're supposed to start at A, idiot!

She grabbed the edges of the cut and pulled them open, snapping a few bits of skin that the scalpel had missed. Fluttershy couldn't feel anything, but she could hear it perfectly. She knew it was no use, but she just couldn't help but start whimpering and saying "help. Somepony…anypony….help me."

Author: "I'm being eviscerated and I can't get up."

Pinkie looked up at her and giggled "Oh Fluttershy, if nopony could hear you when you were screaming at the top of your lungs, why do you think anypony can hear you when you're talking so quietly?

Rarity: Well, technically, you can hear her just fine.

Besides," she said as she walked across the table "Dashie and I have been waiting for you to join the party for the longest time, haven't we Dashie?" She reached her hoof behind Rainbow's back and suddenly Rainbow's lips started moving.

Twilight: THe corpse was actually a changeling all along! I knew it!
Rarity: Haven't you learned? Everypony is a changeling in these stories!

At that time, Fluttershy realized that what remained of Rainbow Dash was not a simple piece of taxidermy; it was a ventriloquist dummy.

Author: Comedy Central presents Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, the dead pegasus.

In a crude attempt at mimicking Rainbow's voice,

Author: She can do a mean Christopher Walken impersonation, however.

the dummy responded "yes, it's been so lonely here without my friends. With you here at my side, it'll be 20% cooler and neither of us will ever feel lonely again!"

Author: ... Nope, it doesn't work. Even dropping a 20% cooler line doesn't help the story at all.

Having concluded her puppet show, Pinkie returned to Fluttershy. She reached into the gaping hole in Fluttershy's chest and began to pull out the organs one at a time, all the while making up little puns to go along with them "come on, liver let die! Oh look, it's Billy the Kid-ney."

Twilight: (Starts hoofing, which is like clapping, but I guess with hooves, or some crap like that.) Congratulations. You have beaten Cupcakes for the worst organ puns in a gore story.
Rarity: It's not like the writer was even creative.
Author: Seriously. They made two, then were like, "Screw it. I don't need to come up with puns, I'll just write that she said puns."

And so on. By this time the blood loss was really getting to Fluttershy. She could barely see of hear anything, although the smell of her own innards was persistently assaulting her nostrils.

Twilight: They smelled faintly of nutmeg and roasted chestnuts.

Pinkie noticed that Fluttershy wasn't paying attention to her anymore, so she angrily asked "why doesn't anybody like my jokes? Rainbow didn't laugh; you didn't laugh; I don't know why I even try anymore."

Author: "No respect, no respect at all... that's the story of my life."

With that she reached into Fluttershy's chest cavity and proclaimed "hey, I thought if anypony would have a real heart of gold it would be you."

Author: Badum-Tish.

She tore Fluttershy's heart right out of her chest,

Author: "Kali ma!"

and even though she knew Fluttershy was gone now she continued to scold "you're always the nice one, so I would have thought that you'd really have a heart of gold. Not only is this just flesh; it's no bigger than any other heart I've seen before." With that being said, she angrily threw the heart on the ground and stomped on it, splattering it like a grape. "Sorry to break your heart, Fluttershy," she told the cadaver of her friend

Author: While putting on a pair of sunglasses.

"but it's just part of the job."

Epilogue:

All: FINALLY!

All of Fluttershy's friends were eagerly awaiting her return. After she had worked so hard that morning to help them clean their houses, they had cleaned her house so that it was perfectly spotless. They had even made her bed and prepared a meal for her and set it on the table for when she got back.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Frank the beaver

Author: SOMEONE WRITE A STORY ABOUT THIS CHARACTER. NOW.

crawled over to the door and turned the knob to see who it was. Standing in the doorway was Ponyville's own resident party planner,

Twilight: The mayor?

but she had a sad look on her face and was holding a strange package.

Rarity: A box. How strange.

She set down the package and read the note on top of it:

To all my little friends,
I am so sorry, but I am returning to Cloudsdale. My mother is very sick, so she needs me by her side. I don't know if she'll ever get better, but I'm not coming back as long as she needs me here.
Love,
Fluttershy

Twilight: "P.S. Don't you dare touch that chocolate cake in the fridge while I'm gone."

When Pinkie finished reading the note, she saw that all the animals were crying. "Don't worry your furry little heads; she'll definitely be back some day."

Rarity: "Oh my, why are my pants on fire?"

When she saw that they were still sad, Pinkie noticed that they were huddled around a box covered in wrapping paper. She walked up to it and saw that it had a tag on it:

Author: $3.99 plus tax.

To Fluttershy, our loving friend.

Pinkie picked up the box and told the animals that she'd be sure to deliver it to Fluttershy for them.

Twilight: Because she can fly. (Face hoof) Animals are stupid...

They nodded and looked over at the package Pinkie had come in with. Pinkie told them "Oh, that's just something Fluttershy said she wanted me to give you as an apology for not telling you she was leaving." She then opened the door and trotted out into the yard.

Rarity: Pinkie Pie! Don't wander off, the scene hasn't finished yet!

When she was back at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside of it was a crudely-made but still recognizable doll that looked just like Fluttershy. "Aww, how sweet of them," she said "they

Twilight: "Were practicing voodoo."

loved her so much they made this for her." She placed the doll on her shelf and threw away the box.

Author: Not the box! It was my favorite character so far. (Pause) No, seriously, that's the only character thus far who hasn't been acting OOC.

Meanwhile, the animals had finally decided to see just what it was that Fluttershy had given them. They pulled off the wrapping paper and opened the box, revealing a delicious-looking cupcake with yellow frosting and pink sprinkles.

Twilight: Which would be a lot more creepy and ominous if it weren't for the fact you can't actually make frosting and sprinkles out of skin or hair, most likely meaning all it is is food coloring.
Rarity: Ugh... I feel awful... Not because of the story, but because of all the time I know that I'll never get back...

---

Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Well?! Was it better than Cupcakes?!
Twilight: ... I can't believe I'm saying this, but no. I'd rather be reading Cupcakes.
Author: You kidding me? It's like we WERE reading Cupcakes.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Aw, c'mon. How bad could it have been?
Author: Twilight?
Twilight: (Whips out list about ten feet long.) Let's start with item one...
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Never mind! Forget I asked!
Twilight: Oh, but I wouldn't want to deprive you of the joy of being force to hear something you don't want to hear. Item one... It's a sequel to Cupcakes. Item two...
(Rainbow Dash makes a dash for the button, pushes it, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Next Chapter: New Tricks Estimated time remaining: 38 Hours, 21 Minutes