Animal Antics

Chapter 4

“Pinkie Pie!  Open up!”

Having sped ahead to get the others, Rainbow Dash now found herself pounding on the front door of Sugarcube Corner, as if it were a beast in the way of her mission.  The door opened and Pinkie beamed a smile.

“Dashie!  It’s so so so good to see you!  I mean, not that it’s ever bad to see you, it’s always good!  So I guess that makes it better to see you!  So, what brings you here?  Are you here to finally teach Gummy to fly?  ‘Cause I have the suit ready and everything!  Oh, or maybe you’re here to set up a super duper pet play date!  Gummy could always use another reptile buddy to hang out with!  Or maybe you’re here for something else?  Do you want a pie?  A cake?  A prank!  I think I’ve got a prank pie that tastes like a cake somewhere around here…”  Before she could go and find this wondrous invention, she felt one hoof shut her mouth and the other wrapping around her.

“Not now Pinkie!  Well, maybe in a little bit, but not now!  We’ve got a problem.  Twilight’s gone like, totally weird.  She wouldn’t move or talk or blink or anything!’ Dash quickly explained, half to make this visit brief and half to make Pinkie be quiet, even for a little bit.

Hearing this, Pinkie’s expression hardened.  Suddenly, she jumped away, immediately hopping back in a military outfit.  “Yes ma’am!  What are my instructions, Officer Dashie?” she recited with a blank, unwavering stare.

“Uh…go to Carousal Boutique?”  Dash was very confused.  Where had Pinkie gotten that outfit?  Why did she have that antenna?  Where could she get a getup like that?  She nearly asked that question, before remembering who she was talking to and holding her tongue.  One crazy pony was bad enough.  The last thing she needed was another crazy pony giving a crazy explanation for her crazy antics.

“Yes ma’am!  As Sun’Tzoof once said ‘I will not let Dashie down!’”  And with that, she hopped away, whip antenna in her mouth and some kind of portable party cannon on her back.  Dash tried to find some plausible way to explain this situation to herself, but eventually gave up, heading towards Sweet Apple Acres.

The air in Ponyville seemed to be alive, as static crackled through the air and gales picked up on a bit.  Not only that, but the sky seemed to be darkening, with the majority of it focusing around the Ponyville Library.

Suddenly, the symphony of dozens of shattered windows greeted the denizens of Ponyville.  Books shot out of the buildings.  Cookbooks from restaurants, books from the School, even magazines from the spa were not safe from the force pulling them all in.  People could only watch in awe as the books circled above the town, before all shooting inside of the library, which was glowing in the darkness of the storm.  A giant lightning bolt cracked through the ceiling, crashing into the heart of the glowing tree.  The wind died down.  The glowing disappeared.  Silence reigned.  A minute later, the citizens of Ponyville went back about their business, chalking the situation up to simply ‘living in Ponyville’.

It had taken her a bit to recover from losing the cake, but Applejack soon found herself back out in the fields, bucking more apples to re-make the cake.  It gave her time to clear her head and prepare to bake another spectacular ‘appletastic’ cake, as Pinkie put it.  It also gave her time to stop herself from going over to the disaster site and seeing if the Cutie Mark Crusaders could get a cutie mark for being grounded for a month.  She heaved a mental sigh, knowing it wasn’t their fault.  But whoever threw that carrot sack was going to learn just how powerful the Apple family could buck.

“……aaaaaaapplllllLLLLLLLLLEJAAAAAAAAAAACK!”

A yell snapped Applejack out of her reverie, prompting her to gaze upwards.  Sure enough, a rainbow blur was zipping over the farm, calling her name.  She seemed to be looking at every tree she could see, hoping to luck out rather than conduct a proper search.  Shaking her head, Applejack got her attention, “DOWN HERE!”  The call worked, as she soon found herself face to face with a winded and worried Rainbow Dash.  “Now Rainbow, what’n tarnation are yah doin’ here?  I’ve got apples that need buckin’, and I can’t have any of your tomfoolery distractin’ me.” Applejack inquired, still a bit irked from the day’s earlier happenings.

Expecting an offended rebuttal, Applejack instead got an earful.  “Okay, look, I’m sorry to be bugging you and all, but this is a big emergency!  At first it was just a small one, with Twilight being all creepy and stuff.  But on my way here, there was this HUGE storm!  One that we didn’t plan for!  A whole bunch of lightning and wind was everywhere!”  Noticing Applejack’s concerned look, Dash quickly assured her.  “Don’t worry, nopony got hurt.  The weird thing, though, was that a bunch of books just shot out of everypony’s houses!  They all went in circles above Ponyville and then they all went into the library!  I think Twilight’s really lost it AJ.”

“Whoa nelly!  Now, let’s not be too quick on the draw here.  Are yah sure Twilight is the cause of this here mess?”

Rainbow’s eyes lowered.  “Applejack, a giant lightning bolt shot through the roof of the library.”

Hearing this, Applejack stood tall.  “Well then, I guess we best git on over and see if we can help.  Do we need ta round up the girls?”

“Already taken care of!” Rainbow beamed, accomplished look on her face.

Raising her eyebrows slightly at the sight of her pompous pegasus friend, Applejack turned towards Ponyville and started galloping.  “Lead the way, pardner.  Unless ya can’t keep ahead!”

“Oh, it’s on!”

Angel was a bit peeved.  Sure, he enjoyed being in charge.  He loved being the leader his bunnies needed.  However, being in charge of all the animals was more a nuisance than a gift.  Not only were some of them very obnoxious, but many of the more obnoxious ones were really, really starting to get on his nerves.  The ducks wouldn’t shut up, the frogs wouldn’t stop bouncing everywhere, and for some reason, the ants were trying to steal all the carrots.  Rubbing his temples, Angel Bunny fell on his back and looked towards the sky.

*ZAP*

*THUMP*

An earth shaking impact startled Angel, prompting him and all the animals to gaze towards the hill they heard the sound come from.  An eerie quiet greeted them, until they heard it again.

*THUMP*

Whatever it was, it was heavy.  It was also coming right for them.  Hopping from his bush throne, Angel ran to the front of the group, ready to face off against whatever monstrosity dared intrude upon his lair.  The vibrations increased with each thump, shaking even the cottage.  Suddenly, Angel saw the source.

Books.  Books in an incredible amount.  All forming some shape.  The spines of dictionaries formed it’s four legs, all thick as tree trunks.  Stray pages made up the wispy tail, which itself was attached to the thick mid-section, composed of books that seemed to be constantly shifting and moving, as if they were part of some clockwork contraption.  And the head.  The head seemed the most imposing.  A single horn jutted from the forehead of the behemoth.  The eyes beamed a fierce red, as if it was composed of nothing but books and fire.  Getting a better look at the grotesque figure, Angel realized that the beast had what appeared to be armor covering it’s body.  Shoulder pads shaped like parapets towered over him, as the limbs and back of the creature were all covered with a sifting array of books varying in size.  Even the head had a gruesome-looking face mask on, corners of books serving as giant fangs.  To top it all off, hundreds of books were flying around the head of the monstrosity, as if they were vultures awaiting a carrion feast.

Without warning, the head of the beast seemed to split open.  Pages ripped apart as the face was torn apart.  However, rather than blood or anything nasty of that sort pouring out, a strong, heavily visible amount of magic seeped from the cracks.  As the purple mist parted, angle could clearly see a smaller looking figure in the head of the Bookbot.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Angeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel!” it seemed to shriek, as if its teeth were scraping against a chalkboard.

Angel gulped.

Twilight Sparkle continued.  “How do you like my newest invention?  No no, don’t say anything!  I know you love it! Or at least, you’re going to love it!  Do you know why?  DO YOU?”  Seeing the crazed mare was actually expecting an answer, Angel quickly shook his head up and down.  “Oh good!  I get to help you UNDERSTAND!  Isn’t that such a strange word?  UNDERSTAND.  Rolls off the tongue, and yet it’s so hard to accomplish!  Oh ho, but now, now with THIS beauty, I’ll finally be able to teach you the guidelines in the manuals and make you all understand what it means to be true animals that I can inspect properly!  YOU’LL ALL BE THE BEST ANIMALS EVER!  AND IT WILL ALL BE DONE BY THE BOOK!”  With that, Twilight let loose a manic cackle and shut the pages to her Bookbot.  The bot moved again and this time stared directly at the animals, all of whom were either shaking in fear or hiding from the mad mare.  All behind Angel.

The Bookbot started making noise.  It was a terrible noise, like the sound of a thousand sets of pages being torn asunder.  Suddenly, pages shot out of the bot.  The pages were caught up in a magical aura, separating them into two sets.  The pages began forming limbs.  Thick limbs, enormous frames and fingers the size of a pony were formed, and the two book golems landed on their feet, taking a fighting stance.  The book swarm above now encircled the Bookbot and the Golumns, blocking out the sun except for a few flickering beams that made it through the fluttering pages.  One of the books spotted a small chipmunk away from the other animals and swooped down to grab it.  Succeeding, it worked against the struggling creature to bring it back to the Bookbot.  At least, until Angel Bunny hopped up and give it a quick uppercut, making it launch towards Ponyville. The chipmunk fell, saved by a bird flying by.  Seeing the chipmunk safe, Angel cracked his knuckles and let loose a war cry, rallying the animals into joining into one singular voice and charged towards their enemies.

The Bookbot and Golumns roared their own and charged in as well.

“Spike, darling, thank you ever so much for helping me with moving my order!  I sincerely appreciate it.” Rarity cooed as she lifted up another dress and placed it carefully onto a hanger and into the delivery cart.  Having finished a major order, all that was left was shipping it off.  Normally the individual would come and pick up their dress in person, but this client had a busy schedule and said delivery would be fine.

“No problem Rarity, I’m always happy to help!” Spike replied as he carried a stack of boxes bigger than himself outside.  After finishing his cleaning, Spike decided to see what Rarity was up to, and to try and perhaps win her heart.  So far, it hadn’t been exactly as he had hoped, but he was at least spending time with her.

“You are quite the little gentle-dragon Spike!  Now, if you could be a dear and hold the case open as I put the dress in, that would be wonderful.”  As she said this, Rarity carefully lifted a mannequin with a stunning dress on it.  It was lined with plenty of gems, and laced with incredibly fine fabrics.  It was the most important piece of the order, to be a special ball gown for the client’s wife.  As such, he wanted it to be perfect.  Rarity didn’t even bother to try and take it off the mannequin, for fear it would fall off the hanger.  Besides, she could always get another mannequin.  Perfection was not quite the same guarantee.

“Sure thing Rarity!” Spike exclaimed as he rushed to the case, propping it open and staring at Rarity with hearts in his eyes.  So focused was Rarity on her dress and Spike on Rarity that neither noticed the book flying in behind them at an alarming speed.

At least, not until it smacked Spike in the back of the head.

“GAH!” Spike shouted, exhaling a little bit of fire in shock as the blow set in.  

Rarity, not expecting the shout, and was definitely not expecting to see a bit of flame shoot towards her grand piece, lifted up the dress with more force than she was used to.  Leading to the mannequin launching from her grasp, much to her horror.  Seeing the mannequin fly off, Rarity did the only thing she could do.

“WHYYYYYYYYY?!” she wailed, as she ran inside the boutique and brought a cushion outside, promptly collapsing on it and wriggling her legs.  “Why must this happen to meeeeee? “  She continued to wail, oblivious to the world around her.

Spike, realizing that his chances have dropped from possible to none at all in the blink of an eye, did the only thing HE could do.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“I dunno Scootaloo; yah saw what happened last time.”

“Oh relax Applebloom!  This time we don’t have a cake to sca…er, to make me lose my balance!  There’s no way this can go wrong now!”

The catapult was ready to go again, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were standing right below it.  While Applebloom still felt a bit bad about the cake, Scootaloo was ready to give it a shot.  Right after Sweetie Bell tested it of course.

“C’mon Sweetie Bell!  Just get onto the part that looks like a spoon!”

“But it seems really scary.  I don’t want to get dirty or hurt.  Rarity would be mad!”

“Oh c’mon, like I said before, she’ll never know.  Besides, I heard that when you go on a catapult, your sister’s dreams come true.”

“…Really?”

“Of course…probably…just go!”

Applebloom just sat there, watching the two argue, when she noticed something.  “Uh guys, what’s that?”

Both Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo looked up, just in time to see a mannequin fall out of the sky and onto the catapult.  The girls froze.  Sweetie Bell was the first to say anything.  “That looks like one of my sister’s mannequins!  Why is it out here?”

“I don’t know…” Scootaloo said slowly, before gaining a mischievous grin, “But I think we should launch it!”

Sweetie Bell looked terrified.  “You can’t do that!” she squeaked.  “That’s Rarity’s ‘important’ dress that she’s been working on forever!  You can’t mess that up!”

Applebloom piped up. “Ah agree with Sweetie Bell.  Besides, you wouldn't like it if someone were to take, oh ah dunno, a Rainbow Dash autograph and just throw it away, would you?”

Visibly winching at the sound of such an act, Scootaloo thought for a bit.  “…Alright, alright, we won’t launch it, but let’s get it down quickly.  Maybe we can get a rescuing cutie mark!”

“For rescuing my sister’s mannequin?”

“We’ll never know unless we try!”

“Well then, ah say let’s do it!”

“Yeah!”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MANNEQUIN RESCUERS, YAY!” they shouted.

Unfortunately for them, their shouting caused a loose apple from a nearby tree to fall.  Right onto the release lever.

The crusaders watched in stunned silence as the mannequin flew off to join the cake that had gone off earlier.  Scootaloo opened her mouth to say something, but simply shut it and started to run away, quickly joined by Sweetie Bell and Applebloom.

Darkness.

It was all she knew for hours.  Trapped within this strange prison, she had worked for hours digging her way out.

Patience.

She was losing hers.  She had been working at freeing herself to no avail, and was seeing no improvement.

Cake.  

She would never eat cake again.

Zecora finally caught a break, as her hooves began to dig at air, cracks forming to shine light into her sun baked prison.  Gaining a second wind, she began to eat in the direction of the saving light.  Finally, her head burst through and she inhaled a deep breath.  Noticing how the cake had seemingly hardened into a glob around her body, she got onto her hooves, feeling like she was carrying a giant rock.  “Such an ordeal, I’ve had to face.  I am glad there are no other threats in this place.” She muttered to herself, until she noticed another shadow closing in.  Bracing for impact, she peeked upwards.

Just in time for a mannequin with a gorgeous dress on to plow into her, forcing her within the cake once again and wedging the mannequin in as well.  From within the cake glob, a frustrated sigh could be heard.

Next Chapter: The Part With Doom Estimated time remaining: 28 Minutes