Animal Antics

Chapter 5

Fluttershy sighed in relief as she saw Carousal Boutique within her sights.  She was also pleased that no more sudden, terrifying storms were around.  She still felt terrible about what happened earlier when the first storm hit.  The father said it took three days to make that potato salad.  Three days.  Shaking the memory from her head, she picked up her speed and landed in front of the boutique.  Fluttering up to the door, she knocked gently.  However, instead of being greeted by Rarity, she was met with a downtrodden looking Spike.  “Oh!  Hello Spike.  I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” she said with a hint of curiosity in her voice.  

“Yeah, well, I came over here when I was finished with my chores. Figured I could…uh, you know, help Rarity with her work too.  Because, you know, I like to work.  And stuff.”  Spike finished his sentence with a forced smile, betraying the story he had just given.  Looking back into the boutique, the smile vanished and was quickly replaced with a small frown.  “Buuuut it didn’t go quiiiiiite according to plan.”  Spike started to explain, pinching his fingers together.

“Oh no!  Did someone step in her potato salad too?”

“Potato what now?”

“Uh, n-nothing…”

“Riiiight.  Anyways, we were putting some of her dresses up into a carrying cart.  But I got hit by something and, well, I uh, I kinda accidently made her…well…launch it.  Away.  Into somewhere far, far away.”  He scratched the back of his head, half in humor and half in shame at his actions.

“Are you okay?  You didn’t get hurt, did you?”  Fluttershy asked concerned.

“Nah, I’m fine.  Thick scales.  Rarity though, she’s, well, not taking it very well.” Spike turned around and unblocked the entrance, allowing the melodramatic ranting of the white unicorn to go unobstructed.

“All that work!  Wasted!  The horror!  The gems!  The fabric!  Oh, how will I show my face in the fashion community again with this blemish on my record?  They’ll think I can’t make a simple dress!  I’ll lose my customers!  I’ll lose my business!  I’ll have to move back in with…MY PARENTS!”  A torrent of sobs concluded the tirade, as Spike once again stepped in front of the doorway.

“So yeah, it’s really not the best of times.  But, you know me.  I’m a caring guy.  Figured I’d help her through this tough time.” Spike looked at his nails and smoothed his spines back subconsciously as he spoke, donning a goofy grin.  A few moments passed and Spike finally snapped out of his daydream.  “Say, Fluttershy, what are you doing here anyways?”

Seeing that the young dragon was no longer in his own little world, Fluttershy explained.  “Well, I came here to get Rarity actually.  Twilight was helping me with my animal inspections, but then Rainbow found her and she was all stiff and she wasn’t responding and now she’s gone and I’m worried she may have hurt herself and I’m such a bad friend I should have nev-“  Her self-berating was cut short by a small dragon claw clasping her mouth shut.

“Twilight’s in trouble?!  Aww man!  Uh, Rarity!  RARITY!  Fluttershy is here and Twilight’s in trouble!”  If Spike was trying to hide any worry in his voice, he failed spectacularly.  He also failed at holding his ground, as he was suddenly launched into the air by a recovered Rarity.

“Fluttershy, darling, is it true?  Is Twilight in peril?” she asked while restyling her mane and brushing off her coat from her lamenting.

Before she could answer, however, a certain pink pony popped out of a bucket of water and beat her to the punch.  “That is affirmative, Officer Rarity!  Sergeant Sparkle is in trouble and Officer Dash has ordered me here!  Private Pinkie is ready for orders!”  She stood up on her back legs and gave a salute, before sitting down, oversized helmet blocking her eyes.  Before anypony or any dragon could question this behavior, they were greeted by a sudden gust of wind with a rainbow tint to it, knocking over all except the stalwart soldier pony.

“Ha!  I win!  You owe me an apple pie, AJ!” said a voice filled with boastful confidence.

“Like heck Ah do!  Ah never agreed to that!” replied a slightly irritated but worn out voice.

“Details, details.  Anyways, where is everyone?” Rainbow Dash asked annoyed, before a series of groans caught her attention.  Grinning sheepishly, she landed to help them up “Ahehe, my bad.”  Noticing something in the corner of her eye, she flew over and picked it up.  “Hey, what’s this?  A book?”

“I think that’s the thing that hit me and made Rarity’s dress meet space.”  Spike said casually, unaware of the slight glower Rarity shot him.

“Let’s see, ‘The Major Guide to the Astronomical Meanings of the Sky and How to Read the Signs of the Stars’.  Huh, seems like a snore fest.”  

“Wait, are you sure that’s the title?”  Spike asked with increasing worry.

“Yup, why?  What’s the big deal?” Rainbow Dash replied, tossing it haphazardly over towards him.

“That’s one of Twilight’s books, that’s why!  She’s always reading it when she goes to watch the stars and stuff.  She never lets it out of the library.  She doesn’t even want me messing with it too often.  What’s it doing out here?  And why is it all beaten up?!”  Spike collapsed on the ground, confused and lost in thought as he stared at the book.

“Permission to speak Officer Dash!”  Everyone was startled and turned towards Pinkie Pie, who was now on all fours.

“Uh, Pinkie Pie, you don’t need my permission to talk you know.” Dash explained, feeling a tad awkward.

“Permission to speak, Officer Dash!”

Rainbow Dash took a hoof and, with great precision, smacked it on her face.  “Fine, granted, whatever.”

Going from serious to her old self in the blink of an eye, Pinkie Pie pointed towards the sky and asked “What are those?”

Everyone turned around to see the sky darken with shadows that were increasing ever so slightly.

Eagle had a nice life.  There was never too much stress, unless some birds decided to be unruly, in which case he had to restore some order as the high bird.  After all, he was agreeably the most dependable of the winged creatures and was pretty strong to boot.  Even if he had lost the race to be the Rainbow one’s companion to falcon, falcon still lost to the tortoise.  Not that anyone was angry; the tortoise had worked very hard, even with the odds stacked against him and he was also one of the nicest creatures at the cottage.  It was felt that he had earned it, even if he had lost the race.  But that race was some of the only action that had happened in some time, and everything had fallen back into the boring rut of life.  At least, until today.

The loud, thunderous rumblings felt by the ground creatures had alerted the birds as well.  Eagle had called for them and he, along with his brethren, were all above the ground animals as the creature showed itself.  Eagle was worried; he had never dealt with such a monstrosity, and his mind was racing as to what they should do.  A loud smack broke his thoughts and brought him back to reality, just in time to see a creature falling from the sky.  Screeching out to a scout bird, the bird darted out and caught the little chipmunk, saving it from an unfortunate demise.  Narrowing his eyes, Eagle decided that it was time for war, and called out to his avian allies to prepare themselves.  Falcon flew next to him, at the ready, as the rest of the birds of the cottage filled the sky behind him.  They watch unmoving as the creature formed two more creatures, and instead focused their attention to the sky above the beast, where strange flying creatures circled over heard, like an ominous cloud of beating wings.  A cry rang out and both sides charged.  The battle had begun.

Eagle called out and shot out straight towards the darkened swarm, tons of birds following him.  The swarm responded in turn, racing towards them at incredible speeds.  Eagle made the first contact, gripping onto the lead book with all the strength he could muster and spinning it around in circles, before letting go and watching it crash to the ground.  Many other birds followed in turn, launching the books in all different directions; some towards Ponyville and some towards the Everfree Forest.  Pages were torn left and right, as the birds struggled to contain the books.  The books, on the other hand, had no troubles.  Their goal was to get the birds into the Bookbot, which would have led to direct confrontation anyways.  However, the birds fought with more ferocity than many of the books could handle, leaving them as torn husks, dropping from the sky as the magic that fueled them was torn out.  Books began to drop by the dozens, as the birds were able to repel them with ease.  However, some birds weren’t so lucky.  Eagle watched in horror as some of the birds, Falcon included, were dragged into the giant monstrosity, with a series of books interlocking to serve as a barrier.  

Anger flowed throughout Eagle, as he called out for his brethren to encircle the books.  The birds, realizing what this called for, looked at each other worriedly, before following through and encapsulating the books in a vortex of wind.  Faster and faster the birds flew, tightening the circle and forcing more books into the middle.  Eagle called out once more, prompting some of the faster birds to start cascading down as a cyclone began to appear in the midst of feathers and pages.  Soon enough, a fairly sized tornado had appeared, trapping the books within, tearing out pages after page with sheer velocity.  One more call echoed out and the birds increased their speed one last time, before finally stopping suddenly.  The tornado, losing its driving force, began to dissipate, and the books began to fly out at rapid speeds, leaving bits of their covers and many pages trailing them.  Their aerial foes defeated, Eagle directed his troops towards the giant that had started this conflict.  The giant that had devoured his friends and troops.  The giant that he swore would fall.

“Are those…books?” Rarity asked, cocking her head ever so slightly.  A second later, her question was answered as a series of books struck Carousal Boutique, breaking several windows and startling Opalescence.  The five mares and the small dragon all stared wide-eyed, before similar sounds rang out through Ponyville.  Turning their heads from the broken boutique, they all stared in horror as books began to rain down from the sky, breaking buildings and shattering windows, causing many ponies to flee in fear and in general confusion.  One of the books crashed at Spike’s feet.  Picking it up, he opened it up and started reading what was left of it.  “Uh, guys.  This is a book from the library.”  He lifted out a small slip, signifying that it was indeed a library books.  More books crashed around them, and each mare went to examine them.

“This one is from the school!  I recognize it; Sweetie Bell brought it home one day and made me read it.  And read it again.  And again.”

“What in tarnation are all these books doin’ here?  You told me they all went to the library Rainbow!”

“They did!  Maybe something happened to Twi…light…”

The silence after Rainbow’s ominous thought was short-lived, as a loud smash was heard coming from the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage.  The five ponies each nodded to one another and began to head off to the cottage.  Fluttershy, however, doubled back.  “Spike”, she began, “Are you going to be alright?”

Spike, who was still in shock, got on his feet and brushed himself off, “Yeah, I’ll be fine.  I should probably start picking up these books anyways.  Just so that everything will be easier to fix when you guys help Twilight.”  He gave her a small smile and began to pick up the books.

Fluttershy, warmed to see such an act, gave Spike a quick hug before hurrying off to join the rest of the gang.  Spike scampered off to collect more books, thinking about Twilight’s well-being, and how he can use this situation to avoid eating green beans for a while.

Golumn A stared at the creatures below him.  All bugs and water animals.  If it could smile, it would have at the thought of such an easy task.  Reaching into the stream with its limbs, magically protected as to not dissolve in water, it began to fish out subjects for the master to study.  Grabbing a few, he placed them into a water sphere and then tossed it into the Bookbot.  It began this again, until it found itself tumbling into the water.  It rose out and spotted the offending creature; a seal.  It was clapping, as if mocking the construct.  Unmoved by this act of taunting, the Golumn began to crawl out of the stream and attempted to capture the seal, only to find it’s leg stuck.  Looking down, it noticed a series of fish swimming rapidly around its leg, trapping it in a whirlpool.  This proved to be a futile effort, as the giant paper monster easily tore free of the suction and lunged at the seal.  What the Golumn didn’t notice, however, were the other seals gathered below him.  The tables were suddenly turned, as the seals bounced the giant up and down as if he were a ball tossed into their pen.  All the while, the fishes, realizing they couldn’t trap it, decided to try and spray it with as much force as they can.

Meanwhile, the birds began to circle around the two Golumns.  The fish, seeing their feathered friends, began to try another method.  Attracting the attention of the birds, the fish began to formulate their plan, while the Golumn was still having a ball with the seals.  The Golumn, while not having a mind of its own, knew that this was not productive to its mission, and so decided to end it.  A great flash of light shone out, and the Golumn began to fall apart.  The seals, not expecting this, panicked and let him drop to the ground, allowing him to reform unobstructed and proceed to capture the creatures.  

The bugs, who had been watching the giant fight, decided at this moment to strike.  Swarming around its face, the butterflies formed a wall of hypnotic color around the Golumn, confusing it and distracting it from the bees.  The bees, aiming their stingers, bombarded the Golumn with a barrage of stings and pokes.  Unfortunately, with the Golumn being made of paper, all that this did was poke a few holes, leaving the bees feeling embarrassed and disappointed.  With their main course of attack gone, the butterflies faltered, and the Golumn seized this opportunity to shoo them away, leaving the bugs defeated and at its mercy.  The Golumn towered over them and captured them all, putting them in a special bag and tossing it in the Bookbot.  He began moving towards the seals again, this time determined to make them share the bugs’ fate.  At least, until a pair of puffer fish, carried high by the birds, dropped onto its face, bodies puffed and spines out.  

The Golumn, now blinded, began to spin in circles, looking for a way to shake off the offending fish.  Seeing an opening, the fish called upon their secret weapon.  Tentacles, attached to a giant squid, began to rise out of the water, rising above the Golumn.  They snaked around its legs and held him firm, while more wrapped around its arms and, finally its neck.  The Golumn, struggling, started to try and fall apart again.

Suddenly, a series of clams fell upon its head, stunning it.  The seals all jumped into the water, and began swimming towards the bottom, before rocketing to the top.  Helped along by the extra tentacles of the squid, the seals all launched towards the head of the Golumn and smacked it hard.  The Golumn started shaking, before falling face forward onto the ground with a massive crashing sound, defeated.

Golumn B swiped at the ground, picking up squirrels, chipmunks and even a deer or two.  It placed them all in the Bookbot and looked back at its targets.  Deer, small rodents and all other forest dwellers stood to oppose it.  To reject the workings of the master and to reject the glorious forwarding of science.  Such madness.  The Golumn prepared to go and gather another load, when it was suddenly blindsided.  A dozen or so deer had charged at it with their antlers loaded and had caught it off guard.  However, a few meager deer were no match, as a few of them were even scooped up and thrown into the Bookbot.  The squirrels all began chucking nuts in a synchronized manner, hoping to topple the construct.  It merely waved them off and charged at the trees, determined to shake them out.

Another sudden smack knocked it off balance.  It turned around into another snack right in the face, as it stumbled backwards and fell onto its back.  The goats, having gone to get more of their kind, stood next to the deer and scraped at the ground, ready to charge again.  The Golumn continued to lay unmoving.  Just as the animals began to celebrate their victory, the ground started shaking and the Golumn rose up, a red gleam replacing the blackness in its eyes.  It shot out bits of its arms, which wrapped around nearly all of the goats and threw them into the Bookbot, crushing any hope the animals had of besting the monstrosity.  The Golumn turned around and began slowly walking towards the creatures.

Only to find it restrained.  Looking at its arms, it beheld the source of the opposition.  Snakes, tons of them, had begun to wrap around its limbs, trapping it in place.  Moving against them proved useless, as they were too numerous and coiled for it to break free.  Focusing on the snakes, the Golumn didn’t notice the big, brown creature barreling towards it.  The snakes suddenly released their grip on the Golumn, just in time for the bear to ram right into it, launching it a good couple of yards.  The Golumn got up, looking battered and torn, and refocused on the new beast that had struck it down.  The bear growled, bracing itself for a struggle against this strange, flimsy foe.  The construct charged, running at the bear with its arms extended, ready to grab it and send it to the Bookbot.  The bear smiled and assumed a stance, much to the confusion and panic of his animal brethren.  The Golumn closed in on the bear.

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP*

The silence that followed was thick enough to build a house with, quietly of course.  The Golumn stood still, unmoving.  The bear stood, its arms extended upwards in a swiping motion.  Suddenly, the arms of the construct fell down and crashed to the earth with a loud thud, leaving the Golumn shocked and unable to process what had happened.  It began to back up in the direction of the Bookbot.

Angel gazed upon the thing in front of him, unable to tell whether or not he should be impressed or terrified.  The Bookbot seemed to have focused solely on the bunnies, having ignored all other creatures and separating them.  The bunny army behind angel stood prepared to fight off the clockwork, book-made monstrosity.  Angel raised his paw up, and with it tons of carrots rose out of the furry sea.  He brought it down, and the carrots were launched.  The Bookbot stood tall, as the carrots merely bounced off its armor.  Suddenly, tendrils of magic shot out, all shaped like hands, and began to take bunnies out from the army below lifting them and bringing them into it.  The carrot barrage still continued, but it was no use as the armor was too strong.  

Eagle noticed their attempts were doing nothing, and so gathered his finest birds to help.  They flew around the head of the construct, disorienting the pilot and allowing the bunnies to try and bring it down some more.  Eagle and his elite, while confusing the Bookbot, also worked at tearing off the armor.  Even with all their might, the armor was just too interlocked to be torn off.  A high pitched wail permeated the colossus, “ENOUGH!”  The magic aura around the head increased, and suddenly all the birds found themselves trapped within the aura, being dragged into the depths of the pony-shaped book machine.  Eagle gave one final salute to Angel, before being dragged off into the depths.  Angel saluted back and glared at the Bookbot.  He would see this thing fall.  This time, it was personal.  The Bookbot looked at him and the aura began to increase in intensity again.

Golumn B was still backing up, trying to escape the situation that had suddenly turned for the worse.  The bear, realizing that it was finished, picked up the arms and ran towards the Golumn. It could only watch as the bear approached it and proceeded to slap it silly with its own arms.  The bear, having slapped it good and plenty, decided to give it a finishing blow.  With a quick couple of spins, the bear launched the arms towards the Golumn, sending it flying towards the Bookbot.

Angel held his ground, as the towering monstrosity inched ever closer.  He grabbed a couple of carrots and held them as swords, ready to fight until the end.  The Bookbot began to launch its attack.

*THA-DUM!*

*CRAAAAAAAACK*

Angel scrambled away from the construct as a series of noises erupted from the side of it.  Turning back, he saw what had happened.  Next to the Bookbot was a crumpled heap, which used to be Golumn B.  Another object next to the Bookbot was what really caught his attention.  The armor, which had once adorned the Bookbot, was now strewn across the ground.  A loud noise, much like a grinding of rusty gears, pierced the cloud of dust that had been thrown up from the impact.  The Bookbot crawled out, it’s armor stripped.  Angel noticed for the first time how weak it looked without its armor.  

The parts where armor had been now only housed bare gears, made entirely out of books, each turning to make the giant move.  Within, multiple cages of animal could be seen all hanging and swaying with the movements of the contraption.  A large series of book spines protruded from the spine of the bot, most likely from the force of them impact.  However, none of that compared to the face of the beast.  With its facemask gone, the Bookbot revealed its true visage; one of its pilots face, increased in size and multiplied tenfold in creepiness.  The red eyes completely engulfed the sockets, as the mouth was nothing but jagged books, each shifting as if it were a series of teeth engulfing a meal.  In the middle of it all, a faint outline could be seen.  The outline of Twilight Sparkle.

Another loud grinding sound brought his attention to the Bookbot’s head, as it began to glow a deep shade of red, only this time, the entire body began glowing.  Angel watched in horror as tons of animals were drawn into the Bookbot, as if it were a giant magnet to them.  He then noticed how many of the gears seemed to be struggling to keep up, as if they were being stressed to their very limits.  Giving a triumphant grin, he began sprinting towards the Bookbot as it cooled down from the major spell.  Using a tree as a ladder, he climbed up and leapt upon the back of the behemoth, carrots in paw.  Hopping onto the highest point of the protrusion on the back of the monster, he aimed at the gears and threw his carrots.  The carrots wedged themselves in the gears and stood still.  

The air grew quiet and the only noise that Angel heard was his heart beating rapidly in anticipation.  Suddenly, the Bookbot started shaking violently.  Books started shooting out of the sides of the body as gears began to break and groan with intense stress.  The Bookbot began collapsing, as Angel madly hopped to the edge and jumped into a bed of flowers.  He turned around and watched as piece after piece of the construct fell onto the ground, creating a small rhythm as they hit the earth.  The cages holding the animals fall as well, only to be picked up by the birds that weren’t captured yet.  The Bookbot made one last attempt at magic, before finally falling in unto itself and settling with a thunderous crash.  The cages with the captives landed near Angel and opened, releasing their captives.  Angel breathed a sigh of relief.  The fight was over.

They had won.

Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy all approached the cottage with a worried expression.  One that disappeared when they saw what awaited them.  The beautiful fields around Fluttershy’s cottage had become a warzone, with pages torn all over.  Near the stream they could see what appeared to be some creature made of paper, fallen flat on its face.  Nearby, they could see another creature similar, but with its arms torn off and seemingly thrown against it, sitting in a collapsed heap.  And in the middle of it all, a series of books, all piled into one major group, seeming to emit a cloud of smoke as they laid in a pile.  

Nobody knew what to say.  Suddenly, a loud clicking noise drew attention to Pinkie Pie, who had aimed her portable Party Launcher at the pile of books.  “Target within sights!  Ready to launch upon your command, Officer Dash.” she said coolly, as if she was unaffected by the sight before her.

Rainbow Dash facehoofed, as did the rest of the group.

“No! Nonononononono! NONO! No!”

Angel nearly jumped in surprise as a crazed purple unicorn crawled out of the debris, looking even more insane than she previously had.  

“OH-HO!  I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU WON, HUH?” she exclaimed with a tint of paranoia in her voice, as if she wasn’t sure what was real anymore.  “Well, I’ll show you!  Yes, yes!  I’ll show what true knowledge can do!  I’ll show you why books are wonderful!  I’ll show you why THE GUIDES ARE RIGHT!”  Twilight reached behind her and pulled out a book, titled ‘A Clockwork Apple:  How to Build a Proper Giant Robot and How to Have a Back-Up Plan!’  Angel read the title in sheer disbelief.  “I know, right!  It’s a wonderful book!  It’s a guide actually!  You know, one of those books that TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO!  And unlike you animals, this Bookbot followed what I told it to do and didn’t rebel or try to kill me or make me run WITH SNAKES IN MY MANE!”  She began flipping through the pages, before coming to rest on a particular one with an incantation.  “You WILL learn to follow the guides and you WILL be inspected!  I’LL BE CERTAIN OF THAT!” Twilight screamed, laughing manically.  

Her horn lit up, and the sky began to darken.  Lighting began to shot onto the ground and into the pile of books.  No fire emerged from the strike, but the books began to give off a glow.  Suddenly, giant tendrils shot out.  Each one roped around the Golumns and any books or pages that were within the areas.  They were all dragged into the pile, which began to pulsate.  The pulsating increased, as the pile began to grow to immense proportions.  Limbs shot out of the piles, eight in total, like a spiders legs, but thick like a hydra’s.  The mass began to form a body, with a long snaking neck emerging from the top.  On one side, an arm was formed with a simple claw, while the other side had no arm, only a head of one of the Golumns, warped beyond recognition.  At the top of the neck, the other Golumn’s head popped out, donning a maddened visage.  The sky lit up with lightning and began to clear up, as the Abookination stood tall, its body actually oozing papers as if it were fresh out of a book bath.  It gave a mighty growl and took a step forward, determined not to lose this time.  Twilight stared up at her creation and gazed with maddened joy at it, knowing it wouldn’t fail her.

A joy that evaporated when a large explosion went off and the Abookination was struck with incredible force by an orb the size of a pony’s head, which proceeded to explode into confetti and cake.  The Abookination fell forward and slumped in defeat, leaving hundreds of confused animals, one very confused bunny and one shock frozen unicorn.

Four ponies were also frozen in shock, not by the giant creature before them falling but at the sheer amount of noise and the subsequent explosion that had gone off next to them.  All eyes turned towards Pinkie Pie, who was now covered in soot.  Her helmet had fallen off and her eyes were open wide.  She shook the soot off and looked at her friends.

“Whoopsie!  My bad!”

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