Animal Antics

Chapter 3

Stopping only for a second to watch in bewilderment as a cake soared into the Everfree Forest, Fluttershy quickly arrived at the source of the scream; a scowling Twilight squaring off against a small army of bunnies, with a determined Angel Bunny at the front.  The tension in the air was obvious.

“Oh my, Twilight!  What’s going on?” Fluttershy asked, slightly cowering at the sight of her angered friend.

Twilight, however, barely tried to hide her frustration at the situation.  “Your bunnies are being stubborn, that’s what’s going on!  I tried to give them a simple examination, but instead they managed to get the carrot sack launched off somewhere!”  she vented while glaring daggers are Angel Bunny, who returned her glare with an expression of pure malice.

“How?  I-I mean, I’m not calling you a liar, b-but I mean how could they even move it  when the sack is bigger than all of them?” She walked over to Twilight, concern in her eyes.

Caught off-guard by the question, Twilight tried to explain “W-well, I mean, my magic may have had something to do with it, but they…I mean the bunnies…and the sack!  GAH!”  Taking a deep breath and clearing her mind a bit, Twilight continued, “Anyways, I don’t know what to do!  The guide went over how to properly examine an animal, not how to handle a crazed combat-ready army of them!  Unless I accidently skipped over that part.  Which I’m SURE I didn’t!”  Finished with her tirade, Twilight sat down and started remembering the rest of the guide.

Fluttershy walked up to the bunny brigade, frown showing her disappointment.  “Now, now, you bunnies should know better than to cause such trouble.  Especially you, Angel Bunny.”  she said quietly.  The effect on the bunnies was immediate, as they started to break off and sit about looking guilty and ashamed.  All except for Angel Bunny, who looked at Fluttershy with a face of pure contempt at his actions.  Sighing, Fluttershy turned back to Twilight.  “I’m sorry Twilight, maybe I shouldn’t of set you up with the bunnies first.  Angel can be a little…un-cooperative with other ponies sometimes.”

Twilight gave her a face that practically screamed “You think?” before Fluttershy continued.  “Here, I have a list of some of the other animals I still have to check up on today.  Maybe you can check on them for me?  If it’s not too much trouble that is.”  Seeing a look of uncertainty flash across her face, Fluttershy attempted to lighten her fears.  “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll do great!” she cheered with a small hop to emphasize the sheer magnitude of her support.

Smiling at her friend’s encouragement, Twilight grabbed the list.  “Alright Fluttershy, I’ll do it!  The bunnies were just a minor obstacle!  I’m sure I can handle anything else your animal friends have to offer!”

Between the both of them talking, none noticed the frantic motions of Angel Bunny and the subsequent departure of most of the bunnies, all in the wake of a leader’s triumphant smile.

Agony.  This was Twilight’s world now, only agony.  She reminded herself to never offer to help Fluttershy with caring for animals again unless she was given special armor that made her invincible to pain.  It had all started simple enough too!  Sure, the bunnies were a wild card that she merely pushed aside as a mishap, but not every creature could be out to get her, right?

Then she found the birds.  They were at the top of the list Fluttershy had given her.  It seemed like such a simple concept.  She even tried the examination technique that was so effective with the bunnies!  The guide never actually specified an animal, so she assumed it was universal.  Of course, that’s when the pecking started.  It’s an interesting feeling, being pecked all over by birds.  Not enough to cause lasting damage mind you, but just enough to cause mild discomfort and irritation.  Her screaming probably didn’t help either.

After managing to escape the avian ambush, she found the next animals on her list: chickens.  She briefly thought about why there would be a dichotomy between chickens and birds to Fluttershy, but dismissed it knowing her friend probably had a good reason.  Realizing she had found the chicken coop, she poked her head in.  She was greeted with an entire coop of chickens aiming their eggs at her.  A few seconds later, the coop’s entrance was dripping with yolk and a very baffled Twilight was wondering just how the chickens were able to throw their eggs, before leaving, unless she risk another round of egging.

The rest of the inspections followed suit.  The crickets decided to swarm her, acting as if she were a magnet to their species.  The fish proceeded to splash her every time she came too close to the water.  The porcupines actually charged at her, making her back end wish it was wearing armor.  Even the kitty Fluttershy had clawed at her when she got too close, managing to even claw the last bit of the list into shreds, leaving only the locations of the last two animals, but not the animals themselves.

The worst part for her was that she couldn’t even figure out what was going wrong!  It was driving her crazy!  Every guide she had read did not have a section for dealing with animals that actually DID mean to harm you.  She couldn’t even stop the guides from all being read in that weird accent!  Sure, after the bunnies little rebellion she had calmed down, but after the pecking, slashing, piercing, swarming and slashing?  She was at the end of her rope.  Trying to desperately maintain her sanity, she stated heading to the second to last dwelling, not noticing the small bunny hopping quickly away from her destination.

“Alright Twilight!  This is it!  The final stretch!  Just two more and you can go home!  HOME!  And then you can take a nice relaxing bath.  With books.  Sweet non-lethal books.” Twilight exclaimed to herself, exhausted and on the edge.  She finally reached her destination.  It was a short burrow, made into the side of a hill.  Not knowing what creatures were in there, but too tired to truly care too much, she decided to just stick her head in and call out.  “HELLO?  ANY CREATURES IN HERE?”  Silence reigned within the burrow.  As she prepared another yell, she suddenly felt something writhe against her cheek.  Something long.  Something cold.

Something scaly.

Princess Celestia was sitting in the throne room, listening to some eccentric Pegasus telling her about a new invention that would take sunlight and turn it into super sunlight which, according to him, would be like sunlight, only super, with incredible excitement in his voice.  She appeared less than amused.  Even her royal guards were beginning to fall asleep.  Suddenly, a loud noise pierced the boredom with ear-splitting efficiency.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

The shriek caused several objects to break, including the double sunlight invention the Pegasus had been carrying with him.  As quickly as it appeared, the noise stopped, leaving a surprised princess, several shocked royal guards and a sobbing Pegasus in its wake.

Being locked within a stone prison is a very boring sentence.  Sometimes all you can do to pass the time is brood, even if it’s from within your own thoughts.  This is exactly what Discord was up to when he heard something.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

Recognizing the scream as that of someone experiencing pure terror, he shuddered.  Wishing whoever it was good luck in facing whatever it was they were up against, he went back to brooding.

Pinkie was whipping up another batch of cookies, testing the might of the new batter Mr. Cake had bought, when she heard a shriek.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

Pinkie stopped placing the cookies and looked in the direction of the scream.  “Doom….” was all she could say.  The ringing bell of the oven snapped her out of her trance and she went back to happily testing the batter.

“SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!” Twilight screamed, springing backwards as she tried to shake the snakes out of her mane.  She partially succeeded, only to end up with the ones shaken off latching onto her tail.  “GAAAAAAAAAAAAH”  Running in circles, Twilight couldn’t even focus her magic and she continued to panic and frantically try to get her unwanted reptilian friends off her body.  Instead, they proceed to wrap around her more and more, further entrenching themselves.  So focused was she in trying to get the snakes off that she didn’t noticed the cave she was entering.  The last one on her list.  Realizing it had suddenly grown very dark, Twilight paused for a second, only to hear a growl and heavy breathing behind her.

This time, there was no scream.  All Twilight could say was “Eep.”

One would think that living in Ponyville would be a quiet life.  A quaint little village with none of the hustle and bustle of the big city is just the picture of serenity.  However, the denizens of the town know better.  They’ve had evil goddesses, ursa minors, parasprites, a greed driven dragon and a spirit of chaos all affect their town.  One would say they were unaffected by anything other than a major catastrophe.

So when Twilight Sparkle ran through the town square with snakes wrapped around her, her mane and her tail, making a crazed face and running from an enraged bear, they simply blinked a few times and continued on with their business.

“Phew, I’m pooped.” Rainbow Dash heavily breathed out as she collapsed on a cloud she had left up just for this moment.  It was a long day of training, right after a quick cloud-clearing session.  It was times like this where, although she wouldn’t admit it to anypony, she enjoyed just looking down and looking at the result of her handiwork.  She enjoyed seeing it all.  The happy, playing foals.  The friendly, grateful ponies buying and selling.  The purple pony climbing dangerously high up a tr-What?  Rainbow Dash took a quick double take and, sure enough, there was a purple pony about 20 meters off the ground, clinging onto the tree as if for dear life.  Facehoofing, Rainbow Dash flew over to the clueless pony.  “Ugh, what are you doing climbing up this high with no sure way to get down!  Are you looking for a way to…Twilight?”  

Dash stopped her annoyed rant and realized that the pony was, in fact, Twilight Sparkle.  Only sporting a very cracked smile and twitching her eyes.  “Uhh, Twi?  You alright there?”  No response.  “Helooooo, Twiiliiiight!  Anypony home?” she knocked on her head gently for emphasis.  Still no response.  Dash was starting to get worried.  Twilight was supposed to be the smart, collected one, and yet here she was, grinning at nothing and high up in a tree.  Wondering what in the hay she was doing up here in the first place, Dash flew down and witnessed what appeared to be a bunch of snakes all trying to lift a bear higher up the tree.  Blinking a few times, she shook her head and flew back to Twilight, who was still unresponsive.

Noticing a note impaled on a lower branch, she grabbed it and recognized Fluttershy’s writing.  Looking back at Twilight, she sighed.  “Well, I guess we should get you back to Fluttershy’s.”  Still no response.  Finally admitting defeat, Rainbow Dash lifted Twilight up and started carrying her back to the cottage.

To say that Fluttershy was worried would be an understatement.  Not only could she not find her friend, whom she had heard screaming out in terror, but now her bear and snake friends were missing as well.  As Angel Bunny went to get another set of smelling salts, she noticed a figure against the sky, carrying another figure with them.  A few seconds later, she recognized the tired form of Rainbow Dash carrying the motionless figure of Twilight.  The second she landed, she was met with a worried and panicked Fluttershy.

“What happened?  Is she safe?  Is she hurt?  Oh no, oh no, this is my fault!  Oh my, please, Twilight, say something!”

Dash placed Twilight on the ground…where she proceeded to flop over as if she were a statue with an unstable base.

“I dunno what’s wrong with her Shy.  She won’t respond to me, not even when I was telling her about by new routine for the Wonderbolts!”  Rainbow Dash exclaimed, pointing her hooves out for emphasis.

Fluttershy took this news in and looked at Twilight once more, who had not moved a muscle since falling over.  “T-twilight?  Can you hear me?  Are you okay?”

Suddenly, Twilight’s horn lit up and created a large spark.  Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash both shielded their eyes and, when they looked once more, Twilight had vanished.

“Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! Rainbow, we need to find her! Who knows what could be wrong!”  Fluttershy looked on the verge of tears.  “Oh, I shouldn’t of let her try to care for some many animals.  I’m so selfish.”

“Like heck you are Fluttershy!  You’re one of the most unselfish ponies I know.”  Rainbow Dash exclaimed, grabbing and shaking her friend.  Realizing she may have gone a bit far, she stopped and took a breath.  “Twilight probably did something that book-based egghead brain of hers couldn’t handle.  But you are right about finding her.  Head to Carousal Boutique and see if you can get Rarity.  I’ll go get Pinkie and Applejack and tell them to head there too.  Alright?”

Fluttershy merely nodded and, as soon as Rainbow Dash took off, turned to Angel.  “Angel, something has come up.  I need you to be a good bunny and keep the animals all safe and in order until I come back, alright?”

Angel gave a short salute, putting a relieved smile on Fluttershy’s face.  Turning towards Ponyville, she started flying.  

“Twilight, please be alright.” she thought to herself.

The library was empty, its dragon inhabitant having left hours ago after completing his chores.  The still air was suddenly disturbed as a crazed purple unicorn teleported into the foyer.  Getting up slowly, she looked around at her books and cackled.  

“I’ll show those little monsters!  I’ll show them all just how good with animals I am!  I’ll show them just how accurate and right the books are!  I’ll show them all the power of knowledge!”

With that announcement and a maddened laughing fit, a strong surge of magical energy flowed throughout the library.  Books were ripped from the shelves.  Fiction, non-fiction, biographical and even children’s books were not safe from the magic’s grip.  As they encircled the unicorn, a storm appeared to be raging within the trembling building.

Next Chapter: The Part With Sun'Tzoof, The Bookbot and The Mannequin Estimated time remaining: 39 Minutes