Travelers and Jumpers

Chapter 10:

Game of Fools

I like trains.

Out of the many ways wizards can travel, I always find that I prefer trains over anything else. Magic carpets? Too risky and dangerous. Floo powder? I get ashes everywhere, and have to spend hours cleaning them out of my clothes. Broomsticks? They chafe certain...ah...areas, of the body. I can list one hundred and one ways of travel that wizards have to use due to their limitations and powers, and I can safely tell you that I love trains more than any of them.

Seriously, trains are almost always reliable, they go through some of the most breathtaking sceneries imaginable, and their constant chugging sound is something I find to be relaxing. Plus, they’re just plain cool.

So I actually took the time to enjoy the train ride from Ponyville to Canterlot, drinking in the sight of the beautiful mountains all around us. Twilight sat across from me, pouring over the notes she had taken during my magical lecture, stopping to occasionally ask me for clarification, or a reminder on a certain topic. It was one of those rare moments when I actually had a chance to relax.

Despite how hard it was to relax, given the fact that I was about to speak to a Goddess Ruler of a land of magical talking ponies that could potentially launch me to the moon. But hey, why sweat the little things?

I leaned against the window, watching the scenery shoot by me in the blink of an eye. To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t exactly enjoy the train ride. I was too focused on my damn case to think of anything else. Thankfully enough, though, that seemed to make time go by a bit faster, and before I knew it, the train had arrived in Canterlot Station.

And, much to my surprise, the station looked like it was about to move a small army. Nearly every entrance had been blocked off by a couple of blindingly-white ponies in golden armor, with a few grey unicorns surrounding the train car that Twilight and I were on. Nopony else was leaving the train, or getting onto it for that matter.

It was about then that I realized just how quiet this train ride had been.

“Son of a bitch,” I murmured under my breath. “It’s a trap.”

Twilight, oblivious to what was going on outside, simply pulled her saddlebags on, and said to me, “Well, looks like we’re here! Come on, we’re gonna be late if we don’t hurry up.”

I tightened my grip on my staff, and swung it to block Twilight from leaving giving her a pointed look. “Miss Sparkle, I’m afraid you haven’t looked out the window lately,” I said in a calm voice, gesturing to the guards surrounding the platform. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought this was supposed to be a peaceful meeting!”

A new voice suddenly cut in from outside of the room, “And it will be peaceful. These guys are just here to make sure it stays that way.”

I turned my head just in time to get met by a blue-and-white hoof that crashed into the side of my face, causing me to slam into the armrest of my seat, and fall onto the floor. Dazed, I brought my staff up instinctively, just in time to stop another powerful blow.

“Protego!” I shouted as my attacker lifted his hooves to pummel me once more. A sturdy wall of energy caught the pony’s hooves, and allowed me to get a solid kick to his head. The kick didn’t seem to really even faze him, but it did allow me to get some much needed breathing space, and more importantly allowed me to stretch my barrier to include Twilight in it.

“Twilight, are you alright?” I asked, keeping my eyes on my would-be assailant. He seemed to look pretty important, what with his red overcoat, and golden buttons. His hooves and mane were a dark, wavy blue color, and his fur was just as brilliant a white as the other guards outside. And it might have just been my paranoia, but his horn seemed really sharp.

“Twilight, get back!” the unicorn snarled, still trying to stare me down. He kept himself composed, though, and never once gave anything away in his stance, other than the anger he was feeling.

For her part, Twilight actually looked pretty pissed herself. She actually whirled on the mystery unicorn, and said to him in an obviously annoyed tone, “Shining Armor, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Twiley-” (Twiley?) “-that thing just tried to keep you from getting off the train!” he protested stopping to look at the scholar. “Celestia already warned us that he would be dangerous, but I didn’t think he’d go so far as to try that!”

I was starting to piece together this entire situation, but there was some other nagging feeling at the back of my head. Gently, I reached up to scratch my head, only to feel a warm, sticky substance.

“Oh, boy. The context in that sentence,” I muttered to myself, suddenly feeling much more tired than I should have.

Twilight turned to look at me, and let out a small gasp. “Shining, how hard did you hit him?! He’s bleeding!”

“No, no, trust me, I’ve had worse,” I protested, pressing my sleeve against the small cut. “Ow. I think it just happened when I bumped my head on the seat, nothing to worry about.”

Shining continued to look between me and Twilight, his eyes filled with a bit of mixed confusion. “Wait, he was-”

“He was actually worried about all the guards you put outside!” she snapped at him. “He didn’t want to go out there, especially after hearing everything I’ve said about them.”

“And the fact that they’re holding very pointy weapons. Very pointy. Did I mention that?” I quipped, lowering my barrier as a sign of goodwill. And partially definitely not because I couldn’t focus enough to keep the shield up any longer. Wearily, I leaned against the wall, and nodded to the unicorns as I added, “See? Not aggressive, not in too much pain. All of that was just a big ole’ misunderstanding.”

The unicor- Wait, they’re both unicorns. Erm...Shining Armor shook his head, and stepped away from the door.

“I’m afraid I have to apologize,” he said to me as Twilight and I stepped past him. He looked like he’d rather do the hokey pokey in a crowded place than apologize, but he went on with it anyways. “It was out of order for me to react like that, and I hope you don’t hold it against the rest of the guards.”

Despite his asshole-ish qualities, I started to feel a bit of respect for the stallion. He owned up to his mistakes, and didn’t want it to reflect upon his guards. And judging by his air, I’d be truly surprised if he wasn’t their Captain at the least.

Realizing he was waiting for an answer, I nodded to him, and said, “No, it’s alright. I just got worried at the guards. Thought I was at another witch burning...”

Shining and Twilight both gave me mixed looks, but were polite enough not to press. As we walked out of the station, escorted by all the guards, I managed to notice that we were being led through what looked to be the less populated areas. In fact...I swear, some of those pegasi guards were moving clouds above us.

Did they not want us to be seen? I’d bet dollars to rubble that’s what it is. They’re probably making sure we aren’t noticed...Now why would these guards for the Princesses not want little ole’ me to be seen going to their castle? Call me super-paranoid, but I can’t help but think there’s something more to this...

I shook the thoughts out of my head, and instead went back to doing my best to follow the ponies through the winding paths.

The only good thing about reaching the castle was that the bulk of the guards had left once I had made it past the main gates. I guess when your boss is a nigh-immortal Goddess of the Sun (or Moon), you tend to learn really quick that they can handle themselves. So when Twilight, Shining Armor, and I found ourselves in what appeared to be a vast waiting room, I let my natural instincts kick in.

“So, we get a magazine to read while we wait for our appointment?” I asked dryly. Okay, not my best witty remark, but give me some credit. I’m working with a hoof-to-the-head injury.

Shining Armor only gave me a glare that plainly told me to be silent, while Twilight face-hooved in reply.

“I take it that means there’s no pony variant of Time magazine? No Equestrian Geography?” I tried once more. “Because I was really hoping for at least some pretty pictures to look at.”

This actually got a small chuckle from Twilight, while it earned an aggravated sigh from Shining. I may have been taking too much of an enjoyment from his irritation, but hey. That’s life for you.

Finally, though, just for the sake of hearing someone other than me talk, Shining asked Twilight, “So where’s Emerald these days? I’m surprised he didn’t come with you.”

Emerald? I thought to myself, idly stretching out on my seat.

“Oh, he couldn’t, actually,” Twilight answered him. “Princess Celestia specifically said for only Travis and I to come.”

“Pardon me,” I interrupted. “But mind if I ask who Emerald is?”

At this, Twilight grinned sheepishly, and let out a nervous giggle. A very, particular, specific kind of giggle. The one that I’d heard from many of my old friends...

That was the giggle of someone with a love interest.

Ooooooohhhh Lawdy.

Just as I opened my mouth to give her a little teasing on the subject matter, the door to the throne room opened, and a guard pony, wearing a more elegant and durable form of the armor I’d come to expect, trotted out, his expression as grim and somber as the rest of them.

“Are you Travis Voyageur?” he asked, standing right in front of me now. When I resisted the urge to make fun of the obvious nodded with a completely straight face, the guard levitated a scroll towards me, prompting me to grab it from the air.

“What’s this?” I asked, already unfurling said object.

“It’s a scroll,” he smugly told me, watching my reaction carefully.

I decided to be more mature than I normally am, and simply flipped him the bird, while my eyes scanned the contents of the source of his smartassery. From the elegant script, it seemed to be more of a message...

Dear Mr. Voyageur,

For your own safety, as well as our own, my sister and I have elected to communicate to you via system of messages. The guard will provide you with paper, and a quill with which to write with. Please, accept our apologies, as this is a method highly recommended by a very trusted friend and ally of ours.

Best Regards,

Princess Celestia.

I actually felt a brief pang of anger at the words, and had to focus on not losing my temper. The very fact that they had taken all of this precaution against someone they hadn’t even met, based on one man’s word against me, was something I did not want to even tolerate. It was that whole prejudice against wizar-

Wait a moment, I thought to myself. The guards. The way Shining Armor reacted. Twilight defending me. The way they refer to me by my full name. The anonymous “friend”. Only two people here on this world could possibly have the right connections to set all of this up, and so far, I’ve really only pissed off one of them.

Alex.

“That son of a bitch is on my last nerve,” I snarled, balling the scroll up into a wad. I sent a sharp glare at the guard, not even hiding any of my anger at the situation. The guard, in turn, switched from a cocky smirk to a panicked expression at the speed of Hindsight.

“I-I’m supposed to, erm, uh-” he started to stutter out, evidently afraid of me.

Ye Gods. He’s afraid of me. Nevermind his earlier bravado; that was all just a show. Something to hide his fear, to try and fool himself into thinking I’m not deadly or dangerous. He was actively working to hide his thoughts, his feelings from me. Not even two days, and I’m basically the thing to watch for danger...

How much influence did this friend have amongst the princesses?

Shining Armor and Twilight both watched me with baited interest, both of them evidently waiting for me to do something.

Alright. I’ll do something for them, then. After all, if they want to see a show...

Best to give them what they want.

“Alright, rookie, you’ve done your job,” I said, getting up from my seat. Before anyone could even say anything, I used a bit of magic to call forth small burst of wind that caught my staff, and tossed it to my waiting hand. The guard balked at the sight of it, and I gave him a sly wink. “Have a nice day,” I cheerfully told him.

“Travis, where are you going?” Twilight asked in a concerned voice.

“Oh, you know,” I growled lightly in return, thumping my staff heavily against the marble tiles. “Just going to do an AC/DC.”

“What?” nearly all three of the ponies gathered said at the exact same time.

I only smiled at them, and let my staff glow in its signature white runes.

“I’m gonna shake your foundations.”

And with that, before anyone could react, before I could second-guess what I was about to do, before I applied logic to my situation...

I used a small Forzarre spell to burst open the doors to the throne room, and kept a big, cocky smile on my face while I walked at a completely leisurely pace, never stopping to acknowledge the surprised guards, and only barely taking note of the twin “Alicorns” at the end of the long room.

“Princess Celestia, Princess Luna!” I half-shouted in my best showman’s accent, throwing my arms out as if I meant to hug them. “You’re looking extraordinary today! And how, might I be so bold as to ask, are you doing?”

Spotting a tea set that was still being levitated by a shocked butler, I grinned widely, and used a bit of magic to blast a teacup to my outstretched hand. This was probably going a bit overboard, but...I felt a little entitled to it. They went overboard on the paranoia, and made me feel like the elephant in the room.

I downed the tea in one gulp, burning my tongue a bit as it went down. I grimaced, and said, “Ack! Hot tea, hot! Sorry, shouldn’t have done that. Here, mind taking this off my hands for me?” I said, placing the teacup on a nearby guard’s horn. “Thanks, sweetie.”

I turned my full attention back to the Princesses, and smiled widely at them. “So! I think you wanted to meet me, right?” I asked them, rubbing my knuckles on my jacket. Almost a second later, I smacked myself on the forehead, and added, “Oh, where are my manners? This is rude of me, I’m sorry.”

They didn’t seem to have any answers coming yet, so I figured I’d fill the silence with my own dashing charisma and charm. After all, a wizard’s gotta have a certain flair to them. Never stopping in my stride, I bowed low to them, twisting my staff in my hand like it was a baton, and made sure that my eyes never left their general direction.

“I am the one and only, Travis Voyageur! Wizard, detective, and tonight’s entertainment!”

Ladies and gentlemen, if there is one thing I know how to do, one thing I’ve picked up in my six hundred years of Traveling, it’s how to make an entrance. And this entrance had gotten me the undivided attention of two Goddesses, their highly-trained, surely elite guards, one of the most powerful magic users in the world, and a guard who was definitely over paranoid about the paranoid guy.

...You know, in retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to decide to do all of this after getting a small concussion, probably made worse by good ol’ Shut Up Nero.

You just realize this now?

Shut up, Nero. Next Chapter: 11 - Wordsmithing Estimated time remaining: 22 Minutes