Travelers and Jumpers

Chapter 11:

Wordsmithing

You know those silences where you could drop a pin, and have it be the equivalent of a nuclear bomb? The ones that you completely dread happening, especially when it’s your fault? Where everyone’s attention is suddenly drawn to you, and you start to think to yourself, “Jeez, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all”?

This was one of those silences.

Dimly, I took note of the fact that Twilight and Shining Armor had just managed to catch up with me, their own hoofsteps apparently doing a great deal to help snap the wait staff out of their shocked stupors. Mainly because each hoofstep sounded like the pounding of an old Scottish Wardrum.

I turned to the scholarly unicorn, and gave her the same smile I had just given the princesses. “Ah, hello there Twilight! So glad you could come, glad to see you,” I told her, using the distraction of my words to buy myself a little time to take stock of everypony everyone’s face.

Shining Armor seemed to be torn between laughter, and anger, apparently amused by the fact that I had just scared the wits out of a large number of pompously dressed ponies, and mad at me for being so disrespectful to his rulers. Twilight’s face was etched with, primarily, surprise. At what, though, I couldn’t honestly tell. Trust me, even though she’s the number one fan of the royalty here, she wouldn’t exactly be surprised by my actions. If anything, she’d have already used a charm to silence me, and start apologizing on my behalf. The princesses, however, seemed to be completely neutral now. I couldn’t get a single reading off of either of them.

So imagine my surprise when the Alicorn with the alabaster coat, Celestia I assumed, used her magic to draw the curtains closed, and clean up some of the mess I had accidentally made. There was nothing threatening in the gesture, just...it surprised me, is all.

Her lips twitched slightly, as she said in a regal, musical voice, “I’m terribly sorry, council members. If we could push this meeting to tomorrow, I assure you all that I will be more than happy to answer your concerns. For now, though, I’m afraid this...conversation...will take up the rest of the day.”

The poshly dressed ponies dumbly nodded at her, one-by-one slowly trudging out of the room. Soon after, the guards followed them, given a single nod from the midnight blue alicorn. In less than three minutes, the previously filled throne room had been emptied of all of its occupants, save myself, the twin Alicorn Goddesses, Twilight, and the Captain.

The instant the room had been cleared, Twilight turned to the princesses, and said, “I’m sorry, Princesses, I had no idea that he would be affected by your aura in this way! I didn’t think it was possible for it to enhance arrogance, but-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I interrupted, frowning at her. “Aura? What do you mean ‘aura’?”

About then, I became sharply aware of a tingly feeling in the back of my head. Something that wasn’t Nero. It was some kind of force that tried to dig straight into my conscious, trying to bring up the worst of my memories and emotions. I got the distinct impression, however, that it wasn’t anything...well, evil, exactly. It was like it was just a part of nature, something that was doing the only thing it knew how to do.

Funny thing about magic that affects the mind, true believers. Once you become aware of the psychic attack/influence, it becomes almost ridiculously easy to throw off, and even easier to form a defense against.

With that in mind, I threw up a solid shield of will in my mind, focusing once more on a random bit of poetry to help me focus my thoughts. As I recited the poem, I noticed that the blue Alicorn, Luna, reacted slightly. It was nothing much, just a simple surprised blink, but it was definitely more than enough to let me guess that it had been mostly her that had lead the attack on my mind.

Nero started snarling, urging me to respond with a mental hammer of my own. Surely, this princess would have a few hidden nightmares and secrets I could use against her. However, I managed to close my eyes, and calm my response to a low growl of, “What the hell was that?”

Celestia gave me a sharp look, and directly said to me, “I’m sorry for the effects of the...Aura, I suppose. It is something we have little control over. Our little ponies have grown used to it, and are not affected by it in the slightest. However, upon humans...”

“They suffer something where you bring out their worst, and they feel the sudden urge to atone for it or something?” I asked, leaning on my staff a little. Thoughtfully, I scratched at the stubble on my chin, and mused aloud. “Now if that’s true, that means you’ve had to have talked to one of the other humans, and experience the effects of that firsthand. Or hoof, whatever. Now, surely, this would explain the letters, wouldn’t they?”

Shining quickly stepped in front of me, and quietly scowled at me. “Mr. Voyageur, it would be respectful of you to answer their own questions first, before you make your own,” he quietly said.

I dismissively waved a hand at him, and said, “Keep it calm, Sparky. I’m already dealing with one headache, I don’t want you to give me another one.”

The unicorn sputtered a little at my response, but ended up rolling his eyes. From the way he was holding himself, it was obvious that he thought I would get my own comeuppance without his help and had decided to stay out of it from that point.

Celestia chose that moment to intervene, and said, “As a matter of fact, yes. On advice from one of our consultants, it was decided that using letters would be the best method of communicating.”

“And yet you asked me to appear in Canterlot,” I replied. Pacing back and forth in a steady line as I thought outloud, I said to the entire room, “Now, this tells me one of two things. That you either A, truly wished to talk to me face-to-face but realized the repercussions of your aura at the last possible moment, or B, you sent out the message that you wanted to talk to me face-to-face, and your consultant Alex decided that he didn’t like that. So he gave you the advice that your aura might set off my temper.” I whirled about on my heels, and pointed my finger into the air. “And as you don’t seem like an idiot with barely a wit to them, you obviously couldn’t go with Option A. I mean, you’re running a kingdom, that kind of mistake could potentially go very, very badly. Therefore, I presume that Option B is the course of action you went with.”

Smoothly, Princess Celestia retorted with, “While I thank you for the somewhat misplaced compliment, I must request that you are silent for but a moment.”

I shut my mouth and ducked my head slightly, deciding to hear out what she had to say.

“Now, let’s try to keep this civilized, shall we?” she asked in a somewhat playful manner. “I’ve had to deal with my petty council members already, and I should like to end this on a happier note than their meeting.”

The Princess levitated the pot of tea from its table, and poured everyone a drink with her magic, kindly offering me some. I politely accepted, making sure to wait for it to cool before I took a sip.

“Alright, let’s get it out of the way.” I looked at both of the princesses, and asked them, “Why did you want to meet me, and why do you think I’m a threat?”

This didn’t catch them off guard this time, though. They were actually prepared for my not-so-sudden bluntness, and Celestia actually said to me, in a perfectly reasonable voice, “I was curious after Twilight sent me her reports on your magic. And after hearing of your battle against the chimera, combined with the advice from my friend-”

“Let’s not beat around the bush with that, please,” I requested quickly.

“The advice from my friend, Alex,” she continued as if uninterrupted. “I was afraid that you would be a conceivable threat.”

“Me? A threat?” I retorted, my anger quickly rising once again. “Ma’am, I have to say, that’s ridiculous. I’ve done nothing of that sort, I haven’t planned out any murders, and I’m sure my motives were made clear after my conversation with not just your student, but with Alex, Pinkie Pie, and now you!” I didn’t realize I had started shouting until the end of that sentence, but I was in too much a rage to stop now. “For the past two or three days, I’ve been pushed around by self-righteous twits who think they know better than everyone else! The very guards you sent to Ponyville to investigate that murder are a great example of that, as is your guard’s captain!”

“I have already-” Shining tried to interrupt, but I wouldn’t have it. I had been pushed around long enough. I had come into this castle, hoping to find wise rulers who wouldn’t judge everything based around the word of one man, or off of idle speculation, and gotten the complete opposite. These were Goddesses I was supposed to work for, and yet they treated me like I was nothing more than a common villain.

“Enough!” I shouted at him, and turned back on the Princesses. “You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves! The one man who comes along with only the potential to be a fearsome enemy, and you instantly start treating him worse than you would treat the murderer! And all upon the word of a prejudiced, ignorant, self-righteous, dishonorable son of a bitch!”

The moment those words left my mouth, I felt an impossible amount of energy wrap itself around my body, freezing my limbs to my sides. No matter how much I struggled, I couldn’t move a single muscle, and I was forced to look directly at the two Alicorns.

“That is enough, Mr. Voyageur!” Celestia said, her voice becoming dangerously low. “I gave you my hospitality, and allowed you to come into my home to discuss your situation. Instead, you choose to throw around accusations and insult one of my dear friends. All you’ve done so far is prove Mr. Roberts right, and for your case, that is not a good thing at all. I would weigh my options carefully, were I in your position.”

Impossibly, I felt myself grow angrier. Who was she to say things like that to me? I was the victim in this situation! Alex was the one who had lied about me, told them that I was a threat to everyone and everything! Who were they, to treat me this way? To say that what I had said was a complete and total waste of time, and little more than childish insults? I wanted to show them just how wrong they were, how wrong they were to force me to become a threat to the-

...Whoa. Where the hell had that come from? I was pretty pissed, sure, but I didn’t think I was that furious. And even then, would I really be dumb enough to consider challenging two Goddesses, ones who are on the side of Good, whom I’m supposed to work for? Why would I even...

Nero.

Remember what I said about recognizing a mental attack? The same thing can apply to when it’s coming from the inside. Just find something to focus on, and you can form a good solid defense against it. In this case, I tried to shove away my anger, and start analyzing the facts.

Ye Gods, that single action is probably the only reason I made it through that day. You see, I had started pulling together everything I had gathered about the princesses, combining it all to form a decent picture I could use to analyze them. My mind went blessedly silent, as I brought up every little detail I could remember. Random images started to flit across my brain, showing me what I knew, and what I had guessed.

I saw the noble ponies and her reluctance towards them. How she had been somewhat relieved that they had left when I made my impromptu entrance. But was that relief at their safety? Or was it something more...? Digging deeper, I brought up the ideals of Pony society that I had picked up on from Twilight and the rest of the equines I had met. Wasn’t it strange that they shouldn’t know how to deal with a murder? How they had absolutely no idea of what to do? Alex and Matt had both acted extremely overprotective of the ponies, but was that really overprotectiveness? Or was it them actually preparing to deal with an honest threat? After all, if they were the only two who could know what to expect...it would make sense for them to be on their guard.

But why wouldn’t they have calmed down when I presented myself as something that wasn’t a threat? More specifically...when they had reported to the Princesses, for it would be obvious that they would, why hadn’t they stopped worrying? What was that missing piece of the puzzle...

The magic around me suddenly cut off, and I stumbled a little, using my staff to prevent myself from falling over entirely. I looked up to watch the Princesses...and found that final piece of the puzzle. For in Celestia’s eyes, for the briefest moment, I saw uncertainty. The Goddess of the Sun, and ruler of Equestria, had a moment of doubt for just a moment. I then remembered the look of relief she had when Twilight had entered the room, how the unicorn was able to freely talk to Celestia. There was also her fierce defense of her friend...not Alex...her friend.

With everything falling into place, I finally realized something.

I was freaking wrong.

To see this, I want you to place yourself in this situation: You’ve been ruling over an entire kingdom, probably one of the most powerful in existence, for well over one thousand years. And every decision that you, yourself, personally make will affect not only this entire population that you’re responsible for, but possible the rest of the world as a result. So far, you’ve done a pretty good job of doing just that, though. Your countless years of experience and know-how have given you everything you need to know about how to guide your people to prosperity and safety. You love your people, and they, in turn, adore you.

Got that image firmly lodged in your head? Good. Now, let’s add a bit of a twist.

Imagine that you were constantly surrounded by greedy, self-absorbed nobles, all of them constantly shouting in your ear, constantly demanding that you grant them their selfish desires, while you constantly struggle to pick out any good advice, suggestions, or requests that they might accidentally spew out. You have to put up with that all day, and almost every single waking moment of your life is spent finding new ways to deal with that. Soon, you start to wonder if there is really anyone who has any true interest in helping you, if any of them could truly be called a friend. Your responsibility suddenly becomes an even heavier burden, almost too much for you to bear.

Still with me? Because this next part is really where it starts getting important.

After all of this, you’ve found a select few that you feel can truly be trusted, that you can talk to them without having to weigh every little word that comes out of your mouth. They listen to you, something that has, in itself, become the rarest of luxuries. You value their advice, their counsel, and willingly give them your own words of wisdom, because you both know that they wouldn’t normally ask of it...because they don’t want to be more of a burden, and you don’t want to burden them. This is where you can find the reason you still rule over our kingdom. This is where you can find real happiness.

And then, something happens. You find something that you’ve had zero experience in dealing with. A delicate situation, where a potentially powerful and almost-surely dangerous individual could start harming your beloved subjects. And you have no idea of just what could set him off, and how many lives it would take to stop him. You’re suddenly in the dark, where it looks like you’re all alone with no one to guide you, because there’s no one else who has dealt with this situation either...

...Except that there is someone. By some miracle, you’ve found a person, one of your very trusted friends, who has dealt with this before. Or, at least, something similar. They freely give you life-saving advice that they feel will put everyone on the right path, a flashlight of sorts that illuminates the solution. Since you already know you can trust this person with your own life, you decide to make the leap of faith, and trust them with the lives of your people...You listen to him. You follow his words to the very letter.

Now think on that. And replace yourself with Princess Celestia, a very Goddess with all of that power on a literally divine scale. Replace that “trusted person” with Alexander Roberts, a man who is seen by her and most of her people as an incredibly kind, generous, and most importantly of all, trustworthy individual, whose selfless nature has landed him in that very position.

And replace that powerful, dangerous threat that no one knows about...with me.

Ye Gods, I’d been...I’d been one hell of an asshole. Everything they had done had been done with pure intentions, with friendship, and I basically stomped on their very ideals. I had burst in with my own arrogant, self-righteous thoughts and feelings, and become the very thing I feared.

I became the bad guy.

I returned my full attention to the Princesses, forcing myself to meet their eyes for as long as I could without triggering a soulgaze, and lay my staff down at the base of their thrones. Slowly, I bowed to them, forcing my pride and arrogance down (along with a certain howling demon). After I had recovered my voice, I said to them, “I...I would beg for your forgiveness, fair princesses. My actions were intolerable, and inexcusable, damn the circumstances. I’m truly sorry for how I have acted towards both you, and to the ideals you stand for. I apologize.”

Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see the very surprised expressions on Twilight and Shining armor, both of whom were probably a little more than confused as to my sudden change of tone and mood. Then again, if I were watching this from an outsider’s perspective, I’d be a little worried too. Mood shifts are, after all, a sign of insanity. Or puberty, but that’s considered the same thing in the eyes of most parents.

I think the princesses had been a little surprised too, even though they were the first to recover from my abrupt mood shift. Princess Luna directed a piercing look at me, making me feel as if she were scrutinizing my very soul with just a glance. It actually was a bit of a challenge to not squirm underneath that gaze. I mean, have you ever had a Goddess of the Night and Moon analyze everything about you with a mere look?

Not very comfortable. Especially with the...added baggage I’m carrying.

After a moment, however, Luna simply nodded her head, and told me, “You are forgiven, Mr. Voyageur. The circumstances behind your arrival are unusual, even for one such as yourself.” Sensing my surprise, she smirked a little, and added, “You will have to tell us of your Travels someday.”

...Oh. So they did know about my Traveler status. But if that was the case, why did they wait until now to mention it? Did the-

“However, I’m afraid that day must wait until later,” the princess of the night continued. “For now, I believe there is something you wished to ask of us?”

Remembering the entire point of this trip, I smacked myself on the forehead, and silently mumbled to myself, berating my own foolishness. Arrogance...it can get a guy into a lotta trouble, y’know?

My actions did manage to get a few wry chuckles from those gathered in the room, though. There’s a small bonus, at least. Clearing my throat, I reached into a pocket of my jacket, and fished out a few papers I had been smart enough to bring with me.

“Well, your majesties, I’ll keep it simple,” I said, doing my best to smooth out the worst of the crinkles in the papers. “I’d like to formally request that my licenses pertaining to my status as a detective, Auror, Warden, and other miscellaneous work forms be transferred to Equestrian legal status. Or however that’s done.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow, before asking me, “And may I know of the reason behind this request?”

And here was the part I really had to sell...

“Your majesties,” I began, making sure to speak clearly, “as I’m sure you’re no doubt aware, a murder was committed in the town of Ponyville, not too long ago. As a detective, I found that my arrival on this world at the same time to be too strange to be a coincidence, and as such, began to investigate. I was motivated further by the lack of experience the law enforcement seems to have with such cases.” I paused to let that sink in for a moment, before moving on. “Working with what little I have available to me, I was able to find the murder weapon, and a few other bits of information that could shed some light on the situation.”

The silence in the room was heavy, enough to make me almost regret taking the rare position of center-stage. That didn’t stop me, though. I had a goal, and I intended to make my point one way or the other.

“However, said local law enforcement also detained me a short while after,” I stated. “According to them, my paperwork isn’t good enough, and I need to have it legally approved, or some political jargon like that. You can see how this is a problem...”

Once more, the two alicorn sisters had a silent exchange of words with just a mere look, taking prime advantage of the bond that can only come through family and age. After what felt like an eternity to me, the alabaster colored Princess turned to regard me with a wise expression on her face.

“Very well. If you can promise to do your best to bring this criminal to justice, my sister and I shall reinstate your papers.”

I blinked. “T-that’s it?” I asked, unsure of what had just happened.

“That is it.” Celestia smiled gently at me. “You revealed yourself to be an honest, if not a bit quick-tempered, person. Judging by my student’s reports of you, I am inclined to believe that Mr. Roberts...may be a bit misguided in his judgement. I see it fair, then, that you be the one to prove him wrong.”

“...Okay,” I said, a little stunned at how easy that had been. It seemed as if our business had been concluded...

...Then again...

“Excuse me Princess, but might I trouble you for an added request?”

“Hello again, Mr. Roberts!” I said in my best overly-cheerful prick voice the very instant the man had opened his door.

“Mr. Voyageur,” he curtly replied, his hand once more slowly easing itself to the hilt of his knife.

Smiling, I fished around in my pocket for a moment, saying, “You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Things were said that shouldn’t have been said, and opinions were formed before we could get a good measure of the other guy. We jumped to conclusions, in other words.”

“I guess we did,” he carefully said, as if afraid I was working up to something that would make him look like an idiot, fool, and otherwise moronic worrywart.

Oh, wait. That’s exactly what I was doing!

Yanking the scroll out, I thrust it into his chest, catching him off guard, and managed to keep my shit-eating grin on my face the entire time. Surprised, he fumbled with the scroll for but a moment, before unfurling it to read in the dim light of the moon.

“That, my antagonistic douchebag, is an official order by the Princess of the Night!” I chirped. “Because I’m now officially on the Scrolls case, you are hereby ordered to give me my stuff back, or risk being thrown in jail for hindering my investigation.”

Alex scanned the contents of the scroll for another minute, his forehead furrowing in concentration. For the moment, he seemed to be taken off guard, like he didn’t think I’d actually try to go the legal route. All-in-all, the look on his face was one that I will always treasure for the rest of my undying days.

“Let me say that again; we both got the wrong idea about each other,” I said, losing all traces of humor. “I’m not who you think I am. I have nothing against those ponies, and I have nothing against the Princesses. There is no diabolical ace up my sleeve that I plan on using to take over this world. Hell, I don’t even plan on doing that. I’m just a Traveler, plain and simple.

“That being said, though...I now hold a few things against you. I know it was you who sent a message to Celestia, warning her about what you thought of me. You’ve taken my things, twisted my arm to make me do something I would already do, and otherwise lost any respect I would have had for you.”

I then made sure to lean in right to his face, and gave him the coldest glare I could.

“I am not someone you can push around or bully, Alexander Roberts,” I stated, calling a bit of magic into my staff. “Unlike those with kinder dispositions who will let you do that...I push back. I will not make you into my enemy; it seems like you will do that yourself.”

Before he could respond, I turned around on my heel, and walked away at a brisk pace, making sure to release my magic into the air as I did. The result was a fine breeze that stirred up a few more fallen leaves, making my exit look all the more enigmatic.

“Just drop everything off at Twilight’s. And if you need my services as a detective, I charge twenty bits per hour. Keep in mind, I reserve the right to deny you on the grounds of not liking you. Or if I think you’re a tool.”

Ladies and gentlemen, The Traveler is back in action.

Next Chapter: Scrolls Case Report - #1 Estimated time remaining: 4 Minutes