Travelers and Jumpers

Chapter 9:

Guard Blocked

So, there I was, standing in the middle of a dark alley, talking to a spirit of creativity that lived in my pocket watch, when all of a sudden, two ponies dressed in guard armor decided to call me “Criminal Scum” in very harsh and angry tones.

Repeat that sentence twice to yourself, and let it sink in.

Done? Good. Now, tell me how all of this stuff seems to happen to me on a near daily basis? Is it just my natural luck, or do several divine beings take great enjoyment out of seeing me deal with this? Frankly, I’m inclined to believe it’s both. Complaining about it isn’t going to get me anywhere though.

I turned to the guards, slowly lifting my hands in the universal gesture of “Don’t-kill-me”. There wasn’t anything I had done wrong, and I knew that. We just needed to calmly discuss what had happened, and everything would be cleared up. Easy-peasy.

“Hello there,” I said, eyeing them carefully. “Is there a problem?”

The closest one glared at me, and his horn started to glow a pale grey color to match his armor. Instinctively, I poured a little of my will into my palms, and frowned at him, already calling up a couple spells I could use to distract him, whilst I beat a hasty retreat. I quickly shook that thought out of my head, however. I didn’t want to cause any trouble.

“Easy, Lance,” his partner said, raising a hoof in what I assumed was a calming gesture. Turning her head, she nodded at my direction, and added, “You too, sir. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will respond with force, if needed.”

Judging by the way they were acting, I could probably assume that they were the equestrian equivalents of the local law enforcement. That in mind, I slowly pulled my power out of my hands, and spread it into the air, where it would just be blown away by the wind.

“Alright, there,” I said, looking at her now. “So, what can I do for you?”

Glaring at her partner, the mare stepped forward, and said, “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Shine Star” She then gave me a quick apologetic nod of her head, and continued, saying, “First, let me apologize for Lance’s behavior. It was uncalled for on his part, and it makes the rest of Celestia’s Honor Guard look unprofessional as a result.”

Ah, so this was that guard squadron that had been sent to help out with the investigation. That explains the uniform styled armor at the very least. And, for once, an authority figure was treating me with a bit of respect...

This can’t be good.

“No, it’s alright,” I told her, bowing my head. “He was just trying to do his job, albeit a little overzealously.”

That little statement seemed to just irritate him further, and he huffed in reluctant acceptance, like I had just apologized to him for being an innocent bystander. What, did this guy have something against me? Or does he just have something against humans in general. Perhaps he was jealous of the way I had taken out the manticore before any of the actual law enforcement ponies could do anything.

I tend to do stuff like that a lot.

Shine Star didn’t fail to notice Lance’s little huff, and she gave him a pointed glare that silenced him. Looking back at me, she said, “In any case, I’m afraid that you may be guilty of breaking the law.”

“Is that so?” I asked, leaning on my staff. “And what would that be?”

“According to one Bon Bon, you were seen going into a crime scene, despite it being closed off to the public,” she told me, giving me a neutral stare. “Is this true?”

Okay, this is easy enough to explain. I dug around in my pocket, and tugged out my wallet to show her my detective’s license and old Auror badge. After I made sure they got a good long look at it, I said, “It’s alright; I’m a detective. I’m currently investigating this case for a client, and lending my aid to the guards already here.”

Shine Star took the wallet in her magical grasp, and scanned the entirety of it once more, nodding in satisfaction. “Alright, this looks to be in order. Sorry for the confusion,” she said to me.

Lance’s eyes, on the other hand, widened in alarm, as he snatched the wallet away from Star with his own magic. I raised an eyebrow at his shenanigans, and reached my hand out to take it back. However, he simply ignored me and kept going through its entire contents.

“Alright, come on now,” I growled. “Give me my wallet, kid.”

“Wait! This license says that you’re only approved to be a detective in Seattle!’ Lance suddenly proclaimed, eyeing me triumphantly. “And as far as I’m aware, there are no such things as Aurors in Equestria. Therefore, you have no right to be prying into our business!”

I scowled at him, and hotly replied, “Now come on, that’s bullshit and you know it!”

“Oh yeah?” he challenged. “Star, tell this monkey just how right I am!”

“Monkey?” I scoffed. “Out of all the potential insults, you call me a monkey? I’d expect a halfwit like you to at least call me a chimp, or maybe an orangutan! Maybe I overestimated your intelligence, hm?”

His face seemed to take on a slight shade of red, but he remained silent, as he waited for his partner to say something to me. Star shook her head, and sighed.

“I’m sorry, but it sounds like he’s right,” she reluctantly admitted. At my astonished expression, she added, “Look, I know you’re like Mr. Roberts, and from another world entirely. I think we can let this slide, so long as you agree to turn over any evidence you may or may not have found.”

“What?!” Lance sputtered, looking between the two of us. “Star, he’s interfered with the scene of the crime! We can’t just let him off with a warning!”

I felt my anger bubbling up in my chest, but managed to keep my mental process to a semblance of calmness. I had to think this through rationally.

“Lance, that’s enough!” she barked at him. “I’m sending you back to HQ to store the evidence, and I will be including a few notes about your behavior in my report. Am I understood?”

Lance grumbled, his eyes betraying the raw anger he himself was feeling, but didn’t voice it. I guess even an idiot can make a smart choice. The same goes for me...

“Alright, ma’am, here,” I sighed, digging out the feather, wire, and receipt from my pockets. “I found these around where the victim was. It’s possible that the wire was used as a murder weapon, due to the blood stains on it, and the fact that it’s razor sharp. The feather was nearby as well, but I’m not sure what it’s significance is either.” I hesitated for a moment, and made a decision to buy myself a bit of time. “And the same goes for the receipt. I just found it nearby. Probably means nothing.”

“Well you found it by a dumpster, what did you expect?” Lance scoffed. “That’s what ponies do with paper, they throw it away. Or do you monkeys like to collect it for your entertainment?”

I chuckled, despite my growing irritation, and said, “Nah, we recycle. It’s better for the environment. Or are all ponies casual destroyers of nature?”

Star’s lips twitched at that, and she added, “No, Lance here is just too slow to catch up with the times. Thank you for your cooperation, I’ll make sure Lance takes these back safely.”

The obnoxious idiot guard finally took the hint, and gave me a final smug look as he gripped the evidence in his magic, and trotted off to who-cares-where. Right then, I had to force myself to take several deep breaths so that I wouldn’t go beat him fifty new ways to Tuesday.

“What the hell is that moron’s problem?” I said in frustration. I kicked at the dirt, and let out an aggravated growl. “I was just about to follow a lead! Then that bastard had to go all high and mighty on me, for some gods-damned reason.”

I then noticed that Star was still watching me, her eyes apologetic. “I’m sorry about him,” she said. “He’s not exactly fond of the humans. He thinks they’re going to try and take over, or something like that. Horseapples, I say.” She looked at me from the corner of her helmet and added, “You humans seem alright for the most part. I’ve seen Mr. Roberts, and he’s a decent enough person. Same with Matt. And hay, I’d be lying if I said the way you dealt with that chimera the other night wasn’t impressive.”

“Thanks, I suppose,” I sighed. I looked at my now-useless ID and license, and realized that I was now in quite the predicament.

Judging by the way that Lance had treated me, it was probably a guaranteed bet that he’d do everything he could to stop me from pulling this investigation off. But other than his mistrust of humans, why would he do that? I mean, I had already found a solid lead, and more evidence than they actually had. There’s got to be something more to this. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but...something tells me I’m not.

Still, I can’t keep going on with this investigation, unless I want to get my ass tossed into the slammer. And I’m sure that if that happened, it wouldn’t do anything to help me earn a bit of trust among these ponies, or Alex and Matt for that matter. Plus, now I personally want to solve this murder.

Yeah, that’s right. This just got personal.

I looked at Star, and asked her, “So, what do you think about all this?”

She blinked, as if she was surprised I had asked for her opinion. Looking at me with a mixture of respect and caution, she said, “I’m not sure. On the one hoof, I feel extremely sheepish that my entire squad couldn’t do in a week what you did in a day. I’m sure you’re hiding another bit of evidence from us, but I can understand that. You’re also involved in a case that shouldn’t have anything to do with you, but...I don’t know. You don’t seem like a bad sort, and you didn’t put up a fuss. There’s just one thing I don’t get.”

“And what’s that?” I asked her.

“Why are you involved with all of this? First the chimera, now the Scrolls case.” She looked at me warily. “Not very many ponies enjoy getting into one of those things, let alone both of them. So what makes you different?”

I shrugged, and simply said to her, “It’s my job. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna start getting lazy about it now.”

“Alright, listen. If you can just go get your licenses approved by a higher-up in the government, you should be able to investigate the cases at your will,” she said, gesturing to the wallet in my hand. “Once you do that, we won’t be able to stop you, as you’d be doing something for whatever world you’re from, or some kind of complicated political reason I don’t care for.”

Now it was my turn to blink in surprise.

She smirked. “I’d hop to it, if I were you.”

I don’t think I can argue against that. Looks like at least one of the “Cops” knows when they need help, and where to get it from.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

After a couple hours spent searching around town, I ended up drifting back to the library, my mind mulling over all of the facts about the case I had learned so far. I’d have to get a journal, or something, so I could make sure I didn’t forget the important parts.

“Wait...do I knock, or just go on in?” I asked myself when I reached the door. “I mean, it’s a library, but it’s also Twilight’s house. I don’t want to be rude...”

Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about figuring this out for myself this time around, because a certain lavender mare had opened the door just as I was about to knock on it.

“Oh! Hello there, Travis,” she cheerfully greeted me. “I was just coming to look for you.”

I raised my eyebrow, and noted the fact that she had a couple of saddlebags strapped to her, both of them filled with scrolls, quills, and other scholarly implements.

“Well, how coincidental,” I replied. “I was just looking for you too. How about you go first?”

Twilight dug around in her bag for a moment, before coming up with a scroll that had been tied together with a fancy red ribbon, and golden hoof emblem thing. With the way she reverently unfurled it, and did as little damage to the seal as she could, I got the feeling that it contained some very important information...or something.

“‘Dear Twilight Sparkle,’” she read out loud. “‘I must express an interest in the man behind those magical theories. If you could please ask him to accompany you to Canterlot as soon as possible, I would be very grateful. Yours truly, Princess Celestia.’”

I vaguely recalled Twilight mentioning Princess Celestia a couple of times during our conversation last night. From what I could remember, it seemed as if she were some form of God-Ruler, but a benevolent one at least.

“What does she want with me...?” I muttered under my breath.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing, nothing,” I quickly said, brushing it off. “So, she wants to meet me then?”

“That’s right,” she replied. “I guess my notes must have sparked her curiosity.”

Well, looks like this works out perfectly for my plans.

“Well, when do we leave then?” I asked her.

“Tomorrow morning. You can stay in the library again until then,” she said, turning around to trot back inside.

“Thank’ee kindly,” I said, yawning tiredly. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my blanket and pillow combination from last night was still in the same place as it was before, ready to take me to the land of sleep and dreams.

But, before I could do that, I had a few questions for Twilight.

“Hey, Twi. Did Alexis ever tell you what I’ve been up to today?”

The unicorn blinked, and tilted her head questioningly. “Alexis? You mean Alex, right?”

“Whatever floats his barge,” I shrugged.

“Actually, no,” she answered, evidently still confused about my fond new nickname for the annoying bastard.

I debated it for a moment, but then decided that it wouldn’t hurt anyone if I told her about what I had learned of the case so far. Maybe another set of ears would help me figure out why this entire thing is bugging me...

“And then, after all that, I have to get someone in the government to approve my investigating, or else I’m sunk on this entire thing,” I grumbled, cleaning my staff of a few ashes that had accumulated on it mysteriously. Offhandedly, I added, “If I find out Alexis tried to burn my staff, I’m going to have a few words with him.”

Namely, “Ventas Servitas, motherf***er.”

“That’s...well, I can’t say I’d like to be in your position right now,” Twilight admitted, sitting across from me and taking more notes down. “How do you plan on getting around the legal system?”

I smiled, and nodded my head to her. “Simple. You said we’re gonna go see Princess Celestia tomorrow, right?”

“...Oh,” Twilight realized. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

“Nonsense,” I scoffed lightly. “We’ll all have a nice little chit-chat, and I’ll respectfully request my requests.”

Because I have such excellent people skills. Odds are, I’ll go in there guns blazing, and simply force them to-

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