[My conscience Kill writes in the brackets and bolded]

    <  My conscience Joy writes in these and  Italics>

         { I respond in these}  

   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was now in Ditzy's apartment after my little "Hunting Expedition" was finished. I relaxed on a piece of furniture as Ditzy sat beside me enjoying the comfort of me being there.

" I really should spend more time with you, I've just been so busy with all of these urhm.... strange events," I said trying to put exactly in simple detail of what the last few days were like.

I mean, come on! WE GOT STUCK IN A DESERT! NEARLY GOT KILLED BY AN ALICORN! AND A SHOOTOUT!? Nevertheless I loved my school life.

Ditzy moved closer and nuzzled against me," It's okay, I was there remember? But once I get to stay with you, it's fine."

I blushed at this act and kissed her on the cheek," You're the best mare friend a stallion can ask for."

I loved this moment, it was so rare when you didn't get a book thrown at you.... By the way.... Where did that big ass book come out from during the shoot out?

[ It's Mr. Charge, you really don't need to know]

< Hahaha or want to!>

Nothing could ruin this moment, I just wanted to stay here for--

*Knock Knock Knock*

--ever.....Are you seriously kidding me?! I'm tired from killing ponies!

I then looked at Ditzy with an apologetic look," I'll get it!"

I walked towards the door and opened it seeing only one wooden mare," Oh! Hey Vine what's up?"

" Ahh nothing, you know the usual... By the way, I wanted to thank you for taking us out today, without that I would have never met Dash!" She said.

" Ahh don't mention it! I just wanted to teach those two (Dark and Ice) a lesson, sorry you had to get dragged into it...also sorry that Charge kinda ruined your little moment." I said giving a wry smile.

She facehoofed," Ugh... don't remind me! Anyways for thanks, I made you this pie," which she grabbed from he back," Made it myself! Family secret recipe."

[ I don't trust this.... Not one bit]

< PIEE!!!>

{ Dude, it's free pie, how bad can it be?}

"Ahahaha thanks, why don't you come inside and take a piece?" I offered.

" Oh no, I already have extra at home," Vine said," Well I gotta be off now, someone has to take the roll of groundskeeper!"

" Wow, good luck, by the way thanks for the pie! See ya tomorrow!" I waved her off goodbye.

" Bye Graze!!" She said.

I walked back inside with pie as I held it in my mouth, Ditzy looked at me," Who was that? And why do you suddenly have pie?"

I placed the pie down on the counter," Because pie is awesome and also that's Vinetion, she wanted to thank me on behalf of the group for taking them out gun shooting."

" WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK ME!?" Ditzy asked.

" I did, you said and I quote,' I don't want no pony popping any caps up my head' " I explained to her," And before you get any questions, she is with Rainbow Dash."

" Oh Yeah! You know me so well ," She moved closer and closer flirtingly," .... but you're only mine." She bit my ear playfully.

[ Bitch I have Pie! ]

" How bout we continue this later? I'm sorta hungry," I said in way more subtle version than Kill.

" Promise?"

" Promise," I said nuzzling her," Now do you want some pie?"

" Nah, I'm more of a muffin person," Ditzy said going for a muffin as she joined me as I ate the pie.

I sat on the couch again and took a huge bite out of the pie only seeing a blue sort of filling," AWWW YEAHH!! BLUEBERRY!!"

Ditzy smiled at me and sat beside me on the couch enjoying her muffin.

-------------------------------------------

" So you gave him the pie?" Dark asked.

" Ahahah yup!" Vinetion said replied.

" What's so great about the pie anyways?" Breeze asked.

" It's not the pie...it's whats inside of it!" Ice commented.

" So what's in it?" Shot asked.

" Poison Joke," Vinetion smiled evilly.

-------------------------------------------

After an evening of pie, homework, fooling around with Ditzy and more pie, I slept with Ditzy on the bed and began to dream.

" Where am I?" I asked out loud as I looked around a room... not really a room but more of an endless sea of white, nothing but white, not even my shadows.

" HELLOOO???!!!" I shouted.

I heard a familiar voice say," Yo pony, take it easy it's only me." THE FAMILIAR VOICE WAS ME! BUT THERE WERE TWO!

I looked at the two reflections of me, one was smiling in a goofy manner and the other was just simply smiling to see me," Kill? Joy?"

" Yup!" Joy chimed.

" Uh-huh," Kill said.

" Where am I? What is this place!?" I asked both of them.

" This...is your sub-conscience," Kill said.

" Aahahaha you're dreaming Graze!" Joy said with a positively hyper mood.

" I know you wanted a dream but we needed to talk to you, we are you and we know you have some problems, well basically just one problem." Kill said.

" And that is?"

Joy's smiled lessened as he walked up to me," You're lost, you don't know what your cutie mark means and without that you don't know who you are."

" He is correct and we are only looking out for the best for you..." Kill said as he walked up as well.

" I'M NOT LOST! I just don't know ...." I shouted at them as tears formed in my eyes," ..... I just don't know."

I sat on the floor and wiped my tears as Kill looked down at me," Dude, if you cry, I cry."

" I know it's painful to remember but we want to get this over with, it's not easy on us as well." Joy said.

Kill then did something unexpected, he picked me up and pulled me in a bro-hug as Joy joined in," We know you can do it, you just have to be strong! We defeated an alicorn for Celestia sake! We can do this."

I wiped the rest of my tears and stood straight," I'm sorry guys, I never really meant to."

" Ah don't sweat it but I don't think we can help so much," Kill said.

Joy then looked the opposite direction smiling jumping up and down as he pointed to a mare whose coat camouflaged with the white scenery only seeing properly a white and red mane," But SHE CAN!"

Kill and I both looked in the Joy's direction, my mouth was opened wide but it then changed into a smile forcing itself into my facial expressions no matter how much I opposed. Tears of joy flowed from eyes and rolled down my icy white cheek.

"M-Mom?! ... MOM!!" I ran towards her and my dream self hugged her, I embraced the filly and cried into her coat.

Pyro's voice whispered in my head." Do not cry in front of friends nor your enemies it is a sign of weakness, only cry in front of your family, we are here to support and comfort you. To understand you. "

Joy wanted to rush towards the family reunion but Kill held him back and simply waved a hoof and shook his head as they both watched my mom and I.

The filly, hugged me standing firm as I cried into her coat, she herself too was crying but stronger," Graze, you're such a handsome young stallion."

" Mom! I missed you so much!!" I found myself crying more than usual and I just stood there embracing her.

" It's okay Graze, I missed you more than anything in the world but I always look after my son, you are doing fine without me," she said as she held me away from the hug to tell me in my face.

I saw those once beautiful eyes again which filled me with hope and joy, she wiped my tears and began to speak," Now Graze, you have to be strong remember? You promised," she smiled and said to me," I think I can help you out with your little problem, I am your mother after all and I've seen the things you've done."

I looked at her still some tears in my eye," Did you hear my song I wrote for you?"

She looked at me, hugging me and crying again," Of course I did, I cried my heart out when you sang, it was beautiful.I loved every word, every lyric and every chorus, I'm just sorry I can't be there to experience with you, but I will always be in your heart. Always."

" I know...." I said looking at the ground...which was white.

She wiped her tears and began with a more serious tone," Now about your little problem, you have been causing a lot of damage to yourself when you fought, going through some "changes"."

I nodded and listened to her talk," This is only raw untamed energy but I believe if you only understand what your cutie mark means, it will help you." She then chuckled," Like your father, you always seem to overdo it."

I chuckled at the statement," So what does my cutie mark even mean?! You have been watching, you tell me!"

Kill then walked up and said," Your little white lie is very close to it actually, I think I know the answer."

" It was when you fought Shadow!" Joy said as my mother nodded.

" They are both correct, I've seen how you changed Shadow and also your friend Dark Lightning, you aren't able to see the bad and good in people."

I looked confused as she said that. How do the other two of me know the answer before I do?!

She then looked at me and smiled with her eyes closed putting a hoof on me," You bring out the light from the darkness, no matter how dark it is, the smallest ember can still be seen in the darkest of caves. There is always a light of hope and you bring it out."

I looked at her with my mouth open, she was correct. Everything with Dark and Light a.k.a Shadow Blade had changed from their past lives, even Ice!

" Thank you Mom...." I said," You don't know how much this means."

" It's only my job to help my child when he is lost," She then threw her hooves around me and kissed me on my cheek," I have been proud of everything you've done Graze and just look at all of your friends! Especially that Ditzy one, I knew you would find a mare!"

" Heh, thanks, she is my mare friend and don't worry I will always protect her, I really do love her."

" I know, you've protected her from those bullies and I'm proud of you," she smiled at me," but now I think it's time for me to go, I love you Graze, never forget that and keep on being strong, if not for me, for Ditzy!" Melody Grace looked at me saying her last farewells as she walked away from us.

" I love you mom, thank you for everything," I said with a tear rolling down my cheek. I didn't need to know where she was going, when she would return or even if she would return. She was my mother and there was no doubt in my mind that I won't stop seeing her.

" Will I see you again?" Okay there was no doubt but I still wanted to see my mom.

" Ahahahaha Of course Graze! I'm your mom, duh," She said speaking a bit of my dialogue," By the way son, ease up on the cursing a bit." She joked.

" Ahahaha what I've been through, how hard is it not too?" She laughed and so did I, it felt like that moment at dinner every night when we all laughed and shared merriment.

" Bye Graze! AND ALSO! Kill and Joy?" she said.

" Yeah?" They both responded.

" Look after Graze and keep him out of trouble for me will ya?"

" Ahahahaha no problemo Melody!" Joy said happily.

" You can count on us!" Kill said.

She then walked off and disappeared into the white oblivion," It was nice seeing you again mom."

" Okay Graze, it's about time you woke up," Kill said.

" We only spent like Twenty minutes here!" I exclaimed.

" TIME MOVES WAAAAAAAAAYYYY Faster while you dream!" Joy said.

I looked at both of them and smiled.

-------------------------------------------

My eyes opened and my body began to move on its own...WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!

" Wait what?! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!" I heard me say.

{ WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!!}

< I don't know!>

{ JOY?!! PLEASE TELL ME WE ARE STILL DREAMING!}

" WHY AM I HEARING FUCKING VOICES IN MY HEAD!!" I heard me shout.

I recognized I didn't hear Kill's voice for a while and pulled a little leap of faith with the next comment.

{ KILL I THINK YOU'RE IN CONTROL OF MY BODY! AND TRY NOT TO FUCKING SHOUT!!}

[ OKAY!! SO WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!!??]

< WE DON'T KNOW!!> Joy panicked.

[ TRY AND RETHINK WHAT HAPPENED TO MAKE THIS FUCKING SHIT HAPPEN AND HOW WE CAN CHANGE BACK!!]

{ WELL ALL WE FUCKING DID WAS SHOOT EACH OTHER AND THEN AFTER DID HOMEWORK, FOOLED WITH DITZY AND ATE FUCKING PIE!!}

[ GRAZE!! I FUCKING TOLD YOU, IT'S THE BUCKING PIE YOU ATE!! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED IT AND NOW THE OTHER PONIES ARE GETTING FUCKING REVENGE BY PLAYING PRANKS ON US!!]

Kill then walked to pie in a very pissed off manner and smelt it, he whispered to himself," Graze... you're a fucking cunt."

[ THIS IS CELESTIA BUCKING POISON JOKE YOU ASS!]

{ OKAY, OKAY! THE EFFECTS OF POISON JOKE, WOULD WEAR OFF!! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STAY CALM AND NOT KILL ANY PONY!}

< Yeah Graze, we all knowww how you can't take a joke and now you're the primary target>

{ You're just going to have to wait for the effects to wear off for one day and try not to kill any of our friends no matter how bad the prank is... Okay?}

[ Fine! But if they go to far I'm kicking some pony's ass deal?!]

{ Okay deal, just be prepared for an entire day }

[ Why?!]

{ Knowing them, there are seven of them with lots against one of you.}

[......Fuck....]

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