Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 2)

***

"Well, who doesn't know Rainbow Dash, the gayest lesbian in all of Eque- the world," I corrected myself as I remembered that this world was a little different.

"How about... nopony?" she replied, giving me a cold glare. "How do you know my name?" she enquired once more.

I shrugged with a smile.

"Travelling through Time and Space has its benefits, you know?" I said, rubbing my chin mockingly.

Rainbow swore and spit on the ground.

"Damn you, how long will you be playing dumb?!" she hissed angrily.

"Dunno, it's part of my daily routine," I replied, being in quite a good mood, due to having been saved from certain death twice in a day.

The cyan pegasus groaned and facehoofed.

"Are you really that dumb or Pinkie told you to behave in such a way?" she wondered, still glaring daggers towards me.

I sighed.

"Listen, Rainbow Dash, if I really were an agent of Pinkie's, would she have thrown me from her whatever-it-is flying thing?" I tried to make a point.

"Well, if you were a bad agent..." she pondered, rubbing her chin hesitantly.

"If I were a bad agent, I wouldn't have been sent to spy on you, right? Ergo, I am not an agent at all," I concluded with the Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM].

Rainbow snickered into her hoof.

"Don't know what that 'Ergo' stuff means but you sure have a goofy smile," she said with a chuckle.

Pop.

That's the sound of my self-esteem dying, popping like a toy balloon.

"I'll trust you for the time being..." she continued. "But if you really are fighting for Pinkie, I'll have you killed," she concluded cheerfully.

"Wha-?" I tried to ask but decided that it would be better not to enquire deeper. "Anyway..." I coughed. "Believe me or not but I have come from a very different parallel universe and I haven't the slightest idea what is actually going on around here. What's the big deal with Pinkie? Isn't she, like, a party-thrower?"

The pegasus frowned.

"A party-thrower? You must have really come from some bucking crazy parallel something-or-something 'cause Pinkie hates fun. Miss Pinkamena wants you to smile!" she obviously quoted something in Pinkie's voice.

She spit on the ground again.

"Bucking capitalist," she said and got lost in thought for a second.

"And... who are you?" I wondered. "I mean, here, in this universe. Because where I come from you're a member of the Wonderbolts. a famous flyer and stuff," I continued, resolving to be completely honest around the mare. At least she saved my life.

For free, in addition.

"Hmm... That sounds quite good but I'm awesome enough as it is," she replied confidently.

At least her character was much the same here.

"Here, I lead the Resistance. Everypony knows it but nopony has known me by name before," she carried on. "I'm interested in you, Doctor. Special ponies need to keep together, right?"

I shrugged, being in the mood for some mockery.

"Oh, I am special indeed, being a Time Lord and all," I said. "But what makes you so special?" I wondered, examining my hoof lazily.

Rainbow Dash sighed deeply. I looked at her immediately. It seemed that I had offended her in a way, or just brought about an uneasy subject. I almost felt bad.

Almost.

I looked around as uneasy silence occupied its place between the two of us. The world around looked very simple, yet elaborate. It seemed as though the whole world was made of different kinds of metal and all the vehicles (which were rather strange, resembling Pinkie's) were powered not by gasoline or magic but by steam. And, of course, the ponies' clothing was really bizarre.

It was at that moment that I noticed that Rainbow Dash was completely naked (as ponies should be, mind it!), while my tie had got lost somewhere. It was a pity - I really liked the green one.

Finally, the mare broke the silence.

She gulped and lowered her head solemnly.

"I am the last pegasus left in this world."

***

I would have most certainly bombarded Rainbow Dash with questions the next instant, if it were not for the fact that suddenly a loud sound of sirens covered the city around us. The ponies in the streets started running towards the nearest buildings, trying to hide themselves.

"The smile patrol!" Rainbow Dash gasped and grabbed me by the hoof. "We must away!"

Believe me or not but a mind of a Time Lord is a strange thing. Being dragged by the hoof in an unspecified direction, I couldn't think of anything else but the strangeness of the cyan mare's phrasing.

Being flown while being dragged by the hoof towards the unknown, with no solid ground beneath my hooves, I couldn't help thinking, Did Rainbow Dash really use such an old-fashioned phrase?

I mean, really. We must away? Sounds like Hoofscar Wylde to me.

I snapped out of those thoughts when Rainbow Dash yelled at me,

"Come on, you piece of fat! We're above a cloud! I can't hold you any longer so drink the bucking elixir!"

I smirked. A cloud-walking elixir? Really, Rainbow Dash? Too bad that in this dimension she didn't know I could cast magic. Yet.

My cutie mark glowed as I cast a simple cloud-walking spell and let go of Rainbow, who screamed, thinking that I was going to commit suicide in some strange and classy way.

To her surprise, I landed on a cloud, stretching my limbs casually.

"You going to land or what?" I wondered with a fake yawn.

The cyan mare's eyes widened as she landed on the same cloud, inspecting me carefully.

"By Celestia's beard! You can cast magic!" she gasped, awestruck.

"You don't say," I replied, investigating my hoof in disinterest.

"How- how is that possible?" the pegasus stammered as she hopelessly tried to find any sign of a horn on my forehead.

"Being a Time Lord has its benefits," I served my usual reply. "As for now..." I coughed. "Mind telling me what that 'the last pegasus' stuff was all about?"

Rainbow Dash gave me a sad smile.

"It's easy as that, Doctor. The last of the Mohicans." She chuckled and shook her head. "That's what makes me special - those wings of mine." She flapped her wings. They were glorious, muscular and visibly strong; yet, there was an ugly scar on one of them. I decided it for the better not to enquire further.

"Yes, I'm special." Her head suddenly jerked up, her eyes radiated virtuous anger, her voice turned firm, with a metallic sound added to it.

I stood there in amazement, looking at the once cheerful and insolent slacker, who now was a mare made of steel, a mare of might and experience. Changing universes really brings its changes, you know?

"I'm special," she repeated. "But so are you." She looked at me estimatingly. "You will be helpful."

And, as always, my stubborn personality enveloped my brain.

"And why would I want to help you? I just want to get back home."

"I saved your life."

Oh, that. Sure, Rainbow Dash made a point, of which I immediately informed her.

"You've a point, RD," I said with a nod.

She raised her brow.

"Never call me that again, and we're good," she stated coldly.

I shrugged.

"Whatever you say, RD."

Time Lords are trolls by nature, if you still haven't realised.

Rainbow Dash grunted.

"I didn't know you were so different here, in this world," I said. "I even take the liberty of saying you never slept with Applejack here," I concluded with a chuckle.

Seeing Rainbow turn red, I immediately understood that I hit the sweet spot once more for that day. Aren't I just lucky?

"Oh, so you did?" I laughed light-heartedly.

"I slept with her to gain information, nothing more!" the cyan mare protested.

"But you enjoyed it?" I parried.

Rainbow Dash frowned.

"One more word and I'm gonna kick you in the face," she said very seriously.

"Got it. ...Oh, wait, it's two words already."

You know that feeling when a hoof is shoved down your throat? I hope you don't, for it is an entirely unpleasant experience...

"What are you doing, by the way?" I groaned, rubbing my face. "Information? Smile Patrols? Evil Pinkie? What's the bucking matter with you ponies? What happened to love and tolerance and stuff?"

Rainbow let out a solemn chuckle.

"Love and tolerance died with Equestria. I don't know much about it: I was born to the Smile Empire already. But I know one thing." The once present flash lit itself in her eyes once more. "I will fight Pinkie's capitalist regime until I die. As long as there's a single pony slaving for her Empire, my job's not done."

She looked at me with a firm, fixed gaze. I returned it, realising the importance of the matter. We Time Lords are used to changing the mood, you know?

"So... Pinkie's exploiting ponies' labour... and what's your role in all of this? Were you a slave or something? A runaway slave?" I speculated.

Rainbow shook her head.

"No. I never worked for the Empire. I'm a pegasus. A pegasus with no family, no past, no knowledge of my own history." She looked up to the burning sun and quickly covered her eyes. "I was adopted but the Smile Patrol took me away. The only pegasus for generations..." Rainbow Dash sighed and stopped for a moment.

I didn't break the silence, thinking the situation over. Now my usual playfulness left me and I tried to delve deeper into the matter. As deep as I could.

"They experimented on me," the cyan pegasus carried on. "I was unique- I am unique," she corrected herself, gathering some courage. "See this scar?" She spread her wings once more. "That's only one of the many signs of the torture I had to undertake. For being different. For being who I am."

I felt pride in Rainbow's voice and I couldn't help but notice how all of that appealed to my best friend (and rival) - Master. He begged to differ, too. And suffered for it.

Rainbow Dash looked at me again.

"I'm going to put Pinkie's regime to an end. Are you with me?" She extended her hoof.

I looked at her, then at her hoof. Then, silently, I stepped forward and shook the hoof.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"You hold any grudges against Socialists?"

"I am British. Does that answer your question?"

"Um... no?"

~~~

"Thus, I am in no position to let you go, for the disturbance you happened to have brought upon is unforgivable. Please follow my leading, lady and gentlecolt."

"...Big Mac? Is that really you?"