Author's note.

Now this is something new. You guys wanted to see the story from the Doctor's perspective - you got it! ...And it's also much easier to write this way. Yes, I'm lazy as hell. Enjoy. And don't forget to comment!

Peace.

***

Now some of you may say I'm cruel. The reason for their thinking in such a way is understandable, though I disagree fully and completely. And not without justification, mind you! What is one little alien rabbit's well-being compared to a massive shift in the whole Space-Time continuum? Nothing, I say! Although avid rabbit lovers won't get my point at all, I'm aiming my speech at those of you with at least a foundation of complex thought.

Yes, it is I, the Doctor, who, by his (i.e. my) own device, made Angel Bunny lose his bleak consciousness. But before accusing me of cruelty, you may want to hear out my plan. Or you may not want to. Either way, you will have to. Can't just skip those chapters, eh?

Anyway, what I told Angel was a genuinely simple plan, yet somewhat elaborate: the rabbit had to play the classic role of an offensive bully, so to speak. He had to try to offend Fluttershy in any possible way, making Big Macintosh play the role of a knight in shining armour (ponies in armour? Oh really?) and punish the rabbit, making the yellow mare immediately fall in love with him. See? It wasn't that hard, was it?

Yet, Angel Bunny fainted. As I tried to make him come round, I started renewing my ingenious plan. The only other option would be my standing in the rabbit's place but that was totally unacceptable. I'm a Time Lord, after all! My well-being is far more important than that of Angel's!

And, as it usually happens in such situations (at least to me), a flash of otherworldly light enveloped the kitchen, making me blind for a moment.

When I opened my eyes, however, I realised that there were much more important matters that repolishing my stupid (I mean, ingenious) plan.

"Good day, Doctor," a brown-maned earth pony, who had just appeared in the room, said. "It seems we meet again."

***

"Ah, if it isn't Master, my old friend. How is it going those days, being a pony and all?" I wondered nonchalantly, moving Angel under the table with my hoof (the guy would come round eventually, don't worry) and approaching the beige earth pony with a light brown mane and such entrancing dark brown eyes, which lured anyone completely and made the person bend to the Master's will any second. The wordless charm worked instantly, unmistakably and affected anyone and, consequently, anypony. Apart from me, of course.

And before you wonder, no, I'm not gay. Not in slightest. Well, at least not on Tuesdays.

The Master had always been my friend, rival and nemesis at the same time. And Space. (We Time Lords have our bad puns too, you know?) He's a nice fella, except for the moments when he was trying to kill me, enslave me, murder everyone I held dear - you know how it goes. Unfortunately, such moments were becoming gradually more and more frequent. Either he was getting older or I was too taking life too easily.

Anyway, the Master stood right before me, in Fluttershy's kitchen.

"Haven't been expecting me, Doctor?" he said, moving closer to me, hissing the last word. Ah, I always like when he hisses my name like that. ...Don't get me wrong, all right?

"I have, as a matter of fact. Being a Time Lord, knowing the future, all that stuff, you know?" I replied in what seemed to me a friendly manner.

The Master facehoofed.

"Yes, that was quite predictable..." he stated with a sigh.

"Better luck next time, bro," I said and shrugged. "Oh, by the way, our being ponies and all, can I get a brohoof before you enlighten me on how exactly I'm supposed to die in pain this time?" I added, stretching my leg so that my hoof was almost touching his.

"I told you that studying human culture won't do you good," the Master grunted but still replied to the gesture.

"Now there was something regarding your dying in pain..." the beige pony began.

I listened attentively. It's remarkable just how he manages to make all those new ways of torturing me! ...Again, I'm not gay. Or into BDSM and stuff. At least not on Tuesday... Tuesday mornings. And afternoons.

"...But today I've decided to spare you your miserable life," he suddenly finished.

I raised my brown in unspoken question. ...Oh, wait a minute. In a spoken question.

"Was that decision by any chance influenced by my being immortal?" I asked indulgently.

The Master groaned.

"Oh, you didn't have to ruin that for me," he said, casting a disapproving glance at me.

"Totally had to," I easily parried. Everything is easy when you're smart, isn't it?

"You don't end a sentence with a preposition," the Master mentioned. Ah, he can be such a grammar Dalek at times...

"No, my friend, I usually act exactly as I plan to," I replied, putting mocking emphasis on the preposition that had been conveniently put at the end of sentence by yours faithfully.

My dearest friend sighed and shook his head disapprovingly.

"Anyway." He tapped his hoof against the floor. "Anyway. Since I have no intention of killing you," at this point he looked at me appraisingly. "I'll still have kicks from ruining your relationship."

"Which one?" I wondered innocently.

"Don't play dumb, Doctor!" he yelled, losing his temper.

"Why? I get paid for this!" I said, crushing his argument.

"...What?" he asked after a half-minute silence.

"Not really," I replied with a sigh. "You know how it goes - we Time Lords don't get paid."

"Yeah, that sucks," he agreed. "I even had to give rides to little humans in the zoo - how humiliating!"

"Oh, don't tell me about it! I had to give rides to grown up humans - that's even worse!" I sighed and lowered my head, trying to get rid of the horrible memories.

The Master coughed.

"Well, as I was saying, I'm going to ruin your relationship with Fluttershy - you see, I've gathered enough information-" he began once more.

"-Not enough to see that there is no relationship between us, it seems," I interrupted him.

"But-" he tried to argue.

"Twilight Sparkle isn't the best source of information, you know?"

Checkmate, my friends. By the look on the Master's face, I could clearly see that I hit the target on this one, so to speak.

"But... I... Damn it," the brown-maned earth pony swore, his face becoming visibly dull and gloomy.

"Hey, cheer up! At least you can help me, for a change," I tried to comfort him.

"What for?" he asked, raising his head.

"Ahem! You do not end the sentence with a preposition, Master," I quoted him mockingly.

"For what exact reason might it be, Doctor?" he replied in the same tone.

Ah, at least I managed to cheer him up a bit.

"For a change, you know? Trying to kill me is fun and all but we are friends, for buck's sake!" I reasoned my old friend-rival. "What's more, you'll have the chance to humiliate me before a mare, namely Fluttershy. Sounds good, eh? Help a friend and humiliate him to death - all in a day's work!"

"And how exactly are you planning to play your gambit? And, more importantly, why would you like me to do it?" the Master enquired.

"Listen up. Fluttershy likes me for some reason but, for the sake of the Universe - you know how it goes - she must marry Big Macintosh, a big thick red earth pony, who's sitting next to her at table right in the next room. Your goal is to make her like him, and stop liking me. You think you can do it?" I wondered, already knowing the answer.

"As easy as saving Uranus from a flood. But you'll owe me," he warned.

I nodded in silent approval.

"Now, as for how I will humiliate you to make her stop liking you and see what sort of jerk you are..." he began and I turned all ears.

***

We entered the room and I immediately saw that nothing had changed at all. Big Mac was still to shy to speak first and Fluttershy was too shy to- well, she was just too shy. And in love with me. But that silly crush was to be crushed (AWWWW YEEEAAAAAAH!!! I couldn't resist it, sorry) soon.

"Hello, Big Mac, Fluttershy," I greeted the two ponies whose eyes were locked on the beige newcomer. "That's Master, my friend," I introduced the Time Lord to them.

"His boyfriend. Coltfriend, if that suits you better," the Master said with a grin.

Yes. The stupid feeling would be crushed very soon. As well as my life, my carrier (do I even have one?) and my reputation.