“So what is veggieloaf?” Derpy asked, brow raised, voice thick with trepidation.

“Don’t sound so nervous. It’s good. I promise.” I carefully removed the searing pan from my oven. The delectable scent of cooked veggies pervaded the room. “Smells tasty, right?”

“It does,” Derpy admitted. “But it looks so weird.” Her eyes scrutinized the steaming meal. “What’s in it?” She had no trust for the dish before her.

“I can’t believe you’ve never had veggieloaf,” I said, placing it onto the stove. “It’s really just oats, breadcrumbs, and veggies. Eggs keep it together. The crust is ketchup. There’s also salt and spices and stuff. Pretty easy to make, too.”

“I mean… I’ve heard of veggieloaf.”

“Oh, I grew up eating this stuff.” I moved to leave the kitchen.

“Oh, did your—” She cut herself off violently.

“Yeah, my dad used to make it for me. He was actually a pretty decent cook. Good baker, too.”

“Huh… I thought you… and your dad…” I could hear her mentally tiptoe through the minefield of a subject she’d just broached.

“Well… he could cook.”

‘Change the subject. Now.’

“Anyways, let’s get these potatoes out of the water. They’re probably done.”

Derpy offered to set the table, while I prepared the rest of the meal. I had to remind myself that this was not a session, and that it wouldn’t be inappropriate to let Derpy help out. I mashed the potatoes with a little bit of butter and took the asparagus out of the steamer.

After our little meal was set, I uncorked a bottle of red wine. I fetched two glasses and returned to the table. “I hope you don’t mind some two-bit wine. It was the best I could find at Barnyard Bargains.”

Derpy paled. “Oh… Oh Guilty, I can’t drink.” Her voice came out carefully. She was worried she would offend me.

“Oh, I… I didn’t realize.” ‘Can she not drink? Did I know this?’ I couldn’t recall her ever saying anything about it. I suppose we’d never really discussed alcohol. “Do you… just not drink, or…?”

“No no, it’s just…” her hooves gestured frantically, attempting to explain what her mouth couldn’t. So nervous. “… my mornings start way early. I get up at five and—”

“Derpy,” I interrupted. “It’s fine. It’s not an interrogation.” My smile seemed to calm her down. “I'll get you some water.” ‘Good, date’s back on track.’

Even after my trip to the kitchen, her nervousness had not yet left, but now her attention was on the meal. She did not trust my veggieloaf, it seemed. Her little worried face was just precious.

I offered a bit of encouragement. “Try it, Derpy. It’s good, I swear.” I took a bite myself. It had turned out alright. A little burnt on the bottom, maybe. “If it helps, you can just slather it in ketchup. That’s what Crook always does.”

“No, no… I’ll try it.” She hesitantly forked herself a small piece. Her expression became strained. She slowly and purposefully chewed. “It’s not… bad. It’s just…” she looked for an appropriate word before swallowing. “…weird.”

“Weird how?” Too bad. If she liked it, I would’ve had something new to cook for her.

“I mean it tastes good. But, the texture is just… I dunno. I don’t have a word for it.” She didn’t want to upset me. Truthfully I wasn’t upset, just a tad disappointed.

“Well, don’t force yourself. There’s still plenty else to eat.” Reassuring smile. I continued to eat my own meal. ‘Talk about something. This is a date, Guilty.’ “So how is everything? Dinky? The girls?”

Derpy had started on the asparagus. “Good and bad. Dinky’s been behaving in school, but her grades haven’t been too great.”

“I know what that’s like,” I remarked. “I was never a good student.”

“You’ve said.” She smiled warmly. “That actually makes me feel a little better.”

“Well, good. A few Fs never killed anypony. I like to think I turned out just fine. I’m sure Dinky will to.”

Her smile grew. “You always know just what to say, Guilty.”

“You’ve said.” I took a bite of the potatoes.

“I wish I could do that.” She prodded at her veggieloaf absently. “Hey, would you mind maybe talking to Dinky for me.”

Now, I would’ve liked to maintain a good pokerface and politely decline. However, the hoof of fate saw fit to make me choke on my meal in surprise. I began coughing violently.

“Are you okay?” Derpy asked.

I managed to swallow with a bit of effort. “Y-yeah. Fine.” I took a large gulp from my glass.

“So? What do you think?” she inquired again.

“I…”

‘Okay think, Guilty. How do you get out of this? Say it’s not your place to counsel Dinky? Well, she’s asking for help; that would kind of be a slap in the face. Play the fool? Act like you wouldn’t know what to say? She wouldn’t believe it, she’d just reassure you.’

Derpy was waiting for a response. With each second that passed, her expression fell more and more.

‘I could tell her the truth.’ I looked into those sunset-colored eyes. Surely they wouldn’t judge me for it. ‘Besides, that’s what I should do, isn’t it? Be honest with my… girlfriendish pony of uncertain title. It’s not some grand secret, either. It’s just… embarrassing.’

“Derpy, I’m… kinda awkward around kids,” I admitted. My face felt warm.

“Really?” No frown. No subtle recoil. No disbelief, even. Surprise, yes, curiosity, as well, but… no judgement.

“Yeah… I just… don’t know how to talk to them.”

‘Crap, I’m blushing.’

“Dinky seemed to like you. She said you were nice.” Derpy took another hesitant bite of her loaf.

“Sh-she did?” I’d thought that was a miserable little interaction. She barely spoke to me. Too busy drawing her helicopter.

“Yeah.”

“What did she say?” I asked, perhaps a tad desperately.

“Just that you were nice. Nothing else, really.” Derpy took another bite of her loaf. “Spongey,” she said as she chewed.

“I’m sorry?”

“The veggieloaf, it’s spongey. That’s the word I was looking for.” Her expression was beginning to brighten. Was the meal growing on her?

“It is kinda spongey. I think it’s the bread crumbs,” I said with a grin.

She swallowed again. “You know, it’s not bad.”

“Well, I’m glad you don’t hate it.” I stared at my plate for a second. “How’s everything else, though? Are the potatoes good?”

“Really good. I looooove mashed potatoes,” she crooned.

“Who doesn’t?”

Derpy just giggled and continued to eat her meal.

I actually poured myself a glass of wine. I’d opened the bottle after all.

“So how are the girls? Lyra and them?”

A frown. A big one. “Goldy’s… kind of having a rough time,” Derpy admitted.

‘Fuck. I do not want to hear about this.’ I resisted the urge to run a hoof across my face. ‘But I brought it up. I can’t change the subject.’ I steeled myself. I would just have to endure.

“Lily’s not talking to her. She’s been mad before, but I think this time is serious.”

‘Offer a platitude. Comfort her.’

“I’m sure they’ll work it out. They seemed fine together the other day.”

“Yeah?” she asked, a trickle of hope in her voice.

“Yeah. They were just out walking. They said hi to me. It didn’t look like they were fighting or anything.”

“Hmm.” Derpy once again began poking her meal, rolling a stalk of asparagus back and forth. “When was that?”

“A… week-ish, I guess.” I took a quick sip of wine. “Do you know what happened?”

Derpy took a long breath, staring at her meal. She was wrestling with herself. Debating whether or not she should tell me what she knew. After that heavy moment, Derpy opened her mouth to speak.

I really wish she hadn’t.

“Lily… made it sound like Goldy was cheating on her.”

I think my heart actually stopped.

“But that… just doesn’t sound like Goldy to me. She loves Lily so much… even if she has trouble showing it all the time.”

I was barely listening at this point. My brain was already twenty steps ahead. I could foresee a dozen ways this could play out: Carrot Top murders me out of spite. Lily murders me out of jealous rage. Applejack murders me for being a homewrecker. Applejack murders me for trying to talk to her in the grocery store the other day. Applejack murders me because she’s a bitch.

“I asked Goldy, but… she wouldn’t talk about it.” She gave a heavy, tired sigh. “I dunno, maybe… maybe she did.” She rested her head in her hooves. “I just don’t know what to think.” She groaned tiredly. “Geez…”

I knew what Derpy was going through. She suspected her friend was making stupid decisions, and there was nothing she could really do about it. It’s a stifling experience.

I feel that way about Crook a lot. I watch Crook do stupid shit, and there’s this impulse. ‘If you would just let me live your life for you, you’d be so much happier. I love you, but you’re an idiot.’

Still, it’s not my job to fix his every little miss-step.

Even if it feels like it.

‘Okay, I need information. I need to know what everypony knows; that way, I can increase my chances of survival. Okay, Guilty, nonchalant. You’re just curious. You’re definitely not the stallion that Carrot Top’s been coming to for over a year to rut her stupid. You have no idea who that could possibly be.’

“So… wait, what exactly did Lily say?” I asked, totally innocently.

“She said… ‘I just can’t handle her stepping out on me anymore.’” Her eyes pleaded with me, begged me to offer her some other reasonable explanation that her mind had not considered.

‘Shit, that sounds bad.’ Scratch at back of head. Frown. Shake head. Gaze down. Appear to think hard on it. “I dunno, Derpy, I think that’s pretty… clear.” Apologetic face. “I… I don’t know what else she could mean.”

Derpy swallowed. “M-maybe she’s wrong, though. It… it could all be a misunderstanding, right?”

“It certainly could. No guarantee it’s not all a big mix-up.” The response was automatic, and the pangs of guilt were immediate. ‘I should not have said that.’

Desperate eyes looked up at me. “You think so?”

‘Lie… lie, you bastard! You are absolutely, one-hundred percent, completely forbidden from telling her the truth. It breaks your cardinal rule.’

I knew I couldn’t tell her the truth, but… it just felt so dirty to give her… false hope. I knew Carrot Top was stepping out on Lily. She was doing it with me.

Sadly, that did not stop me from lying.

“I do.” Serious Expression. “And if… something did happen... I’m sure they’ll work it out.”

Derpy managed to crack a smile. “I… I think so too.”

‘Bravo, Guilty. You’ve successfully made this easier for her to swallow now, at the cost of making it harder for her later.’

I knew right away that I’d made a mistake. Eventually word was going to get out that Carrot Top was a client of Guilty Pleasure. And the moment that news came out Derpy was going to remember this exact moment.

And I was not going to be the good guy in that little story.

“So anyways… um… can we change the subject?” She laughed nervously.

“Dear Celestia, please… something less awkward. I’m so sorry I brought it up.” Equally nervous laugh.

My apparent nervousness diminished hers. She giggled with a bit more joy as the stress flowed out of her. “So, um… anything interesting happen to you lately?”

‘Okay, Guilty. The rough patch is over, back to our regularly scheduled programming. You had a rather exciting story planned, did you not?’

“Actually something did happen to me.” Derpy’s raised an eyebrow, curious. “I saved a life.”

“Wait… what?”

“Do you remember those things that chased you when we went hiking?”

I spent the next few minutes regaling Derpy with my heroic tale of the mantle ray’s rescue. Derpy didn’t have a great experience with those rays, so in the beginning she wasn’t exactly sympathetic. By the time I finished though she was glad that it was okay.

“So, wait. Where is the ray now?” she asked.

“That Fluttershy girl took it. She takes care of animals or something.” I could feel my face getting warm from the wine.

“Oh! We should go visit!” Derpy bounced excitedly in her chair. “I wanna go see it.”

“You sure? Not afraid it’s going to eat you?” I teased.

She shot me a look. “Hey, shut up. They were chasing me. What would you have done different, huh?” she asked in mock anger.

“Nothing, probably.” I noticed that Derpy hadn’t touched what remained of her meal in a few minutes. “All done?”

“Yeah.”

I grabbed her plate and mine. “I’ll just get these.”

“I’ll get the glasses,” she offered, rising from her seat.

“I got it.”

“No, I’ll help.”

“…Alright.”

Old habits.

Dinnerware in tow, we returned to the kitchen. “So, what next? Dessert?”

“Hmmm… I have some ice cream. I dunno, I’m not really a dessert guy.” We deposited our dishes in the sink. “I think I might have, like, a frozen cobbler or something, want me to check?”

Instead of an answer I received a very soft and warm sensation from behind. It took me a moment to realize that Derpy had sidled up to me and wrapped her hooves gently around me.

A big grin was spread across her face. Her eyes were half-lidded. “What are you—?” I was cut off, as Derpy’s lips connect with mine. ‘Oh right… kissing... this is a thing.’

It was different than last time. She gave me no tongue, nor I her. It was simply a long, firm peck. I liked it. It was nice, I wasn’t flailing my tongue about, smacking my lips like a moron, I was just… smooching. I began to push back a little. I liked this a lot.

When Derpy pulled back, I lurched forward, chasing the warm feeling with eager momentum. When I caught myself and opened my eyes, Derpy was still smiling? ‘When did my eyes close?’

“Was that okay?” she asked.

“Y-yeah… that was… great.” I could still feel it on my lips. It tingled.

“Good,” she smiled proudly. “We’ll start slow, and you’ll work your way up.”

I smirked at her. “So what, you’re teaching me kissing now?”

“A little, I guess. I just…” a blush touched her cheeks. “…I want to kiss you. I like kissing.”

I felt myself blush in turn. “Well, uh… I like kissing you, too.” ‘Guilty, you’ve had your tongue inside this mare. Why are you blushing over a little kiss?’ I hastily thought of something to say. “Why don’t we take a seat by the fire?”

“Sure,” she replied.

Moments later we were parked in front of my roaring fire, leaning into each other. I sipped what remained of my wine, as the two of us stared into the flames. We didn’t speak, just enjoyed the moment. I love being able to do that with somepony. To be able to just truly just experience a moment together. It’s not an awkward silence, it’s different, it’s like... both of you realize that nothing needs to be said, and that’s okay.

I felt feathers on my back as Derpy draped her wing over me. She decided to break the silence. “I love your fireplace. It’s much bigger than mine.”

I smiled. “Yes, it’s very nice. I made sure they put it in.”

“Oh, that’s right. You had this place built. I forgot about that.”

“Yeah… Blew through a lot of my savings. Worth it, though. This place is almost perfect.”

“I remember when it was being built. I helped deliver some of the lumber.”

“Really? I was never really around for the construction.” I briefly wondered if Coaldust had helped build my house. I imagine she would’ve mentioned it if she had. “Was it a big deal? The house being built on the edge of town?”

“Kinda. More than that, the fact that you were an escort was what people talked about. We didn’t have an escort before you got here.”

“That’s actually part of why I moved here. I mean, it’s fantastic not having competition, but more than that, I just wanted to get away from… the business side of the business.”

I could feel Derpy hesitate. She wanted to ask me about it. About what made me move away. The words were on the tip of her tongue.

She lost her nerve at the last second, and said something else. “Well… at least you own some land now. Goldy says owning a home is a smart thing to do. I wish I owned my home. I just rent it.”

“I actually own quite a bit of land. I had to buy the whole acre.”

“Really? Wow. An acre’s a lot, huh?” she asked.

“More than I need.” I took a sip of my wine. “I really am starting to like it here. There’s a lot of things I miss, but… Ponyville’s growing on me… slowly.”

“What do you miss?”

“Oh geez, where to start. I miss places being open late. If you want food after ten here, you’re out of luck. I miss the smell of pavement, everything’s dirt roads out here. The neverending din of carriages and hoofsteps and horns that lulls you to sleep. I miss a lot about Manehattan.”

“You should take me there,” Derpy declared.

“What?”

“You should take me there. To Manehattan. You sound like you love it so much… I want to see it.”

My head was alive with Ideas. ‘Central park. The museum of fine arts. We’d have to get pizza somewhere. I should take her to a ball game. Oh, and we definitely need to get some noodles at that place on 8th. I need to make a schedule.’

“Yeah, we could…” I felt myself smiling. “We could do that. An overnight trip or something.”

“That would be nice.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been back since… since I moved here.” I began to realize just how long I’d been away.

Before I could begin sulking, Derpy spoke again. “Hey, Guilty?”

“Yeah?”

She placed her hoof onto mine. “Let’s have sex.”

The way she that… I don’t know… it filled me with energy. She rose, and I followed, eager as ever to dive into Derpy. Once we got into the bedroom, I quite literally did. When I stepped into the room I tackled her onto the bed.

She laughed mirthfully as we rolled onto my cloud. “Guilty, what are y—?” She gasped loudly as I kissed her between her wings. My attack was so furious. I kissed and nipped at her sensitive spots with vigor. My focus began to wander, and Derpy’s body slowly turned to putty in my hooves. “G-guilty! Why are you… t-t-teasing me so hard?”

I didn’t answer. I was busy, nipping at her sides. Tickling her haunches. Kissing her. Smelling her. Tasting her. Partaking of her. Indulging in her.

“Y-you’re not normally like this!”

Was that unease in her voice? My momentum came to a halt. “Is that bad?” Never hurts to check.

She was panting, grateful for a brief respite. “No, I… I like it. It’s just… different.”

She was right. These were not Guilty’s practiced maneuvers. This was not the art of the oldest profession. This was just… playful. Self-indulgent. Almost masturbatory. I was not performing one of my many many acts; I was doing this because I wanted to. I wanted to tease her. I wanted to poke her and prod her and watch her writhe. I wanted to feel her squirm beneath me. As I stared down at her twitching body, I realized something.

This wasn’t very Guilty Pleasure. This is what I used to do before I learned how to fuck. This was just… fun. It was so fun. It was more fun than I’d had fucking a mare in forever, and we’d barely begun. Our session on Sunday may not have been all that different, but this… this was a new breed of pleasure for me.

“Do you mind…?” I began to ask. “Do you mind if I’m a little selfish tonight?”

I think she may have been a bit taken aback with the earnestness of my question. I’d been sincere. Perhaps overly so. Regardless, she simply smiled and shook her head. “I don’t mind.”

So, I did something that I hadn’t done in a long time: I had sex with a mare outside of the familiar territory of “a session.” Only the faintest hint of unease resonated in the back of my mind as continued my assault. I slowed down, letting my hooves truly explore Derpy. I knew her body well, but it never hurts to reacquaint oneself with something familiar. Her round ass. Her delicate wings. The slight sway in her back. The stretch marks on her barrel. The cellulite on her ass.

It was… sort of hypnotizing. I knew these features. I knew just about everything about this mare’s body, but that didn’t stop me from being entranced by it. Something about her that night just… pulled me in.

And it kept pulling until I could bear it no longer. After Derpy had become putty in my hooves, I thrust my face into her sopping entrance. Her back arched as pleasure shot through her. “Oh…” she moaned. Her legs spread wide as I ran my tongue along her lips. I wasn’t tickling or probing or thrusting, like I normally would. I was just tasting, hungrily slurping away, trying to get as much flavor as possible out of her sour nethers.

Regardless of my intent, Derpy climaxed. Her breath became heavy as her body clenched in spasm and her wings outstretched as every muscle tensed within her. As pleasure subsided, she went limp, melting into the bed, more liquid than mare. “You really like that, huh?” she mumbled through the mattress.

“Like what? Licking you?” I never stopped my caresses; I reveled in the feeling of her coat against my hooves.

She nodded weakly. “Uh-huh. You always do it… but you really got into it right now.”

“I didn’t… really feel like I was trying harder than usual.” I wiped the juices from my lips.

“I dunno… you just seemed really… hungry for it, I guess.” She rolled over onto her back. Her blushing lips glistened, and a warm smile gazed up at me.

“Well, I… I like eating pussy.” She tucked in a wing to make room as I laid down next to her. “It’s warm and it tastes good and… it’s fun.” ‘Am I defending cunnilingus as a concept?’

Depry chuckled a bit. “Geez, Guilty, don’t get so serious on me.” She rose, sliding herself downwards. “My turn,” she said gleefully. I closed my eyes as Derpy’s performance began. She likes to start slow. A gentle hoof caressed my shaft. Hot breath tickled my sensitive loins. A small peck was placed on the head of my cock. “I like it too, actually. It does taste good. And, it is fun. I like making you cum.” Pleasure enveloped me as Derpy took me into her mouth.

In my moment of rest (and fellatio) I had a small realization. ‘I suppose this is what I like about Derpy. Sex is fun to her. She’s very casual about it. It’s not the deep dark desire she buries within herself, it’s just… another thing to do. I guess that’s kind of how I feel about sex.’

I’ve considered that maybe that’s because I have so much sex. When I was young, getting laid was like a challenge. An obstacle to be overcome. A quest to be completed. But becoming an escort changed sex. Sex wasn’t something I had to try for; sex was routine. I suppose in some ways that took the magic out of it. But at the same time, it didn’t stop being fun. I still liked (most) of the sex I was having, It just wasn’t as… important.

It was just sex.

And with Derpy sex is “just sex.” She never needs any special treatment, never hard to please, doesn’t need it like some ponies. She just likes the feeling of being with a stallion, just like I like the feeling of being with a mare.

It’s good to have common interests.

The oh-so-familiar feeling of climax began to creep up on me. “I’m getting close.”

“Mmhmm,” came Derpy’s cock-muffled acknowledgement. She increased her pace. Her tongue swirled around my head between gulps. I came quicker than I thought I would, and my jism shot directly down into Derpy’s throat.

Derpy gagged and pulled her herself off of me. A few wet coughs sent little droplets of semen and spittle all over the sheets. “Wrong pipe,” she managed squeeze out in a ragged voice.

“Y’alright?” I asked.

She nodded, still coughing. After a few moments, the coughing died down. She took a few good deep breaths before raising her head. “I’m okay,” she assured me.

I smiled. “Good. Do you wanna stop, or…?”

She giggled. “The mood’s kind of dead, huh?”

“Just a little, but I don’t mind. We can keep going.” I ran my hoof across her cheek. “I’m just happy to be with you.”

She blushed hard. But, rather than shy away, she leaned into my caress, nuzzling my hoof. “I’m happy to be with you, too.”

“Well, aren’t we fucking sappy,” I joked.

“Apparently,” responded Derpy. She stretched her limbs and flopped back onto the bed once more. “I love this bed.”

“Me too.” I flopped down beside her. “Especially when you’re in it.”

“You’re such a dork.” I felt the tickle of feathers as a wing was draped over me and Derpy’s body leaned into mine.

I leaned back, enjoying the warmth of her.

The next thing I knew I was dreaming again. Another half-dream without shape. Red and gold and silver smoke. I waded through color for what felt like ages.

“Mmmwhat time izzit?” I heard a tired pegasus ask. Just like that, my dreamscape vanished, disappeared like the smoke that it was.

I looked for my clock, eyes bleary. “Seven-thirty. We weren’t even out for ten.” I let loose a yawn. “Felt like longer.”

“It did… I can’t believe we just fell asleep like that.” She stretched every limb and lifted herself from the mattress. “I need to… wake up,” she yawned.

“Shower?” I offered.

She nodded tiredly. “Sounds good.”

So, we went upstairs. Once in the shower, Derpy began her usual meditative trance, while I began to scrub myself. I was in the middle of scrubbing behind my ears when she spoke.

“Hey, Guilty?” Her tone was hesitant, cautious even.

“What’s up?”

“I, uh… I think I realized something today.”

“Oh?”

“You… you’re normally always catering to me when we have sex, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am.” I let the warm stream wash the suds from my head. “That’s what you pay me for.”

“I mean, I guess I knew that. But… I never appreciated… how much you actually cater to me.” She was beginning to blush. “You always make me feel so good. You knew where to lick me, and you know how I like to be mounted. You know just how to get me off.” There was a pause. “Today was different, though. It wasn’t as… good. I mean, we didn’t go all the way, but… even the parts we did get to, were so… different.”

I couldn’t help but frown. “Sorry, I guess I kinda… didn’t have my head in the game.” A niggling feeling of guilt began to build up in me. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. Should’ve spent more time giving head. I should’ve pulled out so she didn’t choke. Should’ve been more gentle, she likes gentle.

Derpy interrupted my mental tirade. “But… you seemed more… present for it… if that makes sense.”

“How do you mean?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. You seemed to… enjoy today… more than usual. I guess.”

“I… I guess I did. It was refreshing… not being… in the act.”

“In the act?” Derpy asked.

I swallowed. I hadn’t meant to “talk shop,” as it were. The concept of “the act” is something I’d never discussed with somepony who wasn’t also a whore. Part of me felt as though I was about to break some long-held taboo.

“I mean… when I’m… in a session. I have to be… ready… horny… attentive. I need to be a perfect bedmate… sometimes more. It can be… tiring.”

“Is it… like that with me?” Same nervous tone.

I hesitated. Part of me wanted to tell her not to worry, that it was different with her. I wanted to comfort her, and tell her not to worry.

But… I’d already told a white lie to her today. I didn’t want to do it again. “It is. Not as much as with some clients, but… You are always my top priority in a session. I come second… literally.”

My joke fell on deaf ears. Derpy’s expression began to betray feelings of guilt as well. We were two peas in an awkward little pod. “Geez, now I feel… kinda bad.”

Reassuring smile. “Don’t, Derpy. You’re just getting what you pay for.”

She took a few moments to respond. “I mean… I guess. I just… never really… thought about it all that much.” She looked up at me. “You must have a really weird… relationship with sex.”

I nodded as I looked for a response to that. “I mean… yeah… I do. It’s not a bad relationship, but it is… a bit complicated, I guess.”

It’s not exactly a secret that whores have to treat sex differently than other ponies, but it wasn’t exactly a conversation I’d planned on having today. “I have… professional standards. Sometimes they keep me from enjoying sex as much as I’d like. Sometimes it means I have to have sex that I don’t necessarily enjoy.”

“How do you mean? Standards?”

“Well, I mean… I’ll almost never turn down a client, no matter what they want to do with me, what they want to do to me, what they want me to do to them. Some ponies just want to be fucked a certain way, but others want to… be tied up… tie me up… hurt me… want me to hurt them. But… just because I don’t necessarily like it, doesn’t mean that I won’t do it for a client. That’s… just business. That’s the service I offer.”

“So… you don’t like that? Being tied up and stuff?”

I shook my head. “Not really.”

“I’ve never tried it.”

I just shrugged my shoulders. “It can be fun,” I admitted.

Derpy just looked pensive for a moment. “Hey Guilty?”

“Hmm?”

“If I asked you… to fuck me like you did today... from now on… would you? I mean… you didn’t actually fuck me, but… you know what I mean.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Is that what you want?”

“I… I think so. It might not have felt as good, but… it feels like it made you happier. I… I like that you’re happy about it. I get the feeling you don’t get to do that very often.”

‘She’s not wrong.’ “Derpy, you don’t need to do that on my account. I’m perfectly happy with our usual routine. Besides, my pride as an escort wouldn’t allow it: nothing but the best for my clients.”

She thought for another moment. “What about… when I’m not a client? When it’s like tonight, just a date.” Her face still looked a bit sad. She was almost pleading with me.

“I mean… that… that would be fine, I guess. Honestly, I’d feel a little… weird about it.”

“But… you did it right now.”

“And I feel a little weird about it,” I confessed. “I feel kinda bad about being so selfish.”

A hoof quickly found my shoulder. “Please don’t, Guilty!” Such earnestness. “It may not have been as… mind-blowing as normal, but… but it was still really nice.”

“I mean… if you like it—”

“Guilty, I like it. And, I want you to like it, too. Okay?” She leaned in and nuzzled me.

“O-okay.” I nuzzled back, but I felt kind of awkward. This felt like pity. I don’t really like being pitied. I considered saying something… reassuring her… convincing her that everything was fine, but… I decided against it. I could always address it later. No need to start something when we’d just finished. “We should get out, now. I think I’m starting to wrinkle.”

We exited the shower and began to dry ourselves. “You have the best towels, Guilty.” She buried her face into my (admittedly pricey) cotton towels. “thrrrr so svvvvt.”

“You are too cute.”

She removed her towel, revealing her blushing face. “Don’t say that… it’s embarrassing.”

“Then stop acting cute,” I responded whimsically as I bopped her on the nose.

She glared daggers at me. Luckily, her ire was temporary. “Anyways… thanks for having me over. This was really nice.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re having fun. We can do this again… anytime.”

“Sure!” There was genuine excitement in her voice.

After we dried off, and headed downstairs, Derpy took her leave. As she left she… she gave me another kiss.

It might sound a bit silly, but… I’m glad that that makes me as happy as it does. I’m glad that I… I kept myself from kissing clients. I’m glad I have something like that’s still… intimate. If I’d allowed myelf to kiss clients, this might not feel as… great as it does. I’d be desensitized.

I mean… I am a bit desensitized when it comes to sex. No way around it, I’ve had… a lot of it. It’s not as though I’m… physically desensitized, it’s just… There’s this feeling you get. The first time you get into bed with someone, the first time you’re intimate, you feel lighter than air. Your pulse raises and ecstasy builds within you. It’s… it’s great.

But over time that feeling gets weaker and weaker with each new partner. That thrill… begins to die. For me it basically is dead, tragic as that may sound.

But, when Derpy kisses me… I… I feel it again. I feel like I did when I was barely a stallion, getting laid for the first time.

I’m just… so glad I didn’t… spoil myself completely.

The kiss ended, and she gave me a quick nuzzle. “So we should go visit that ray soon,” she said. “I’ll ask Fluttershy tomorrow when a good time is.”

“Sounds fun.” A small part of me died, as I realized she was leaving now.

“So… see you Sunday?”

“See you Sunday.”

She walked out the door, took twenty paces, turned, waved, and left.

Derpy’s departure was not met with the same… emptiness as last time. Leaving, and knowing that she was coming back filled me with a sort of… anticipation. I can’t wait to go see that ray with her.

There was, however, a niggling feeling in the back of my mind. ‘What’s going to happen at Carrot Top’s next visit?’ At the risk of spoiling my good mood, I decided to check my ledger. ‘I think she has an appointment booked.’ Sure enough she did.

Her next appointment is the day after tomorrow. I’m not sure what to expect. Will she even show up?

Whatever the case… I’m not looking forward to it.

Author's Notes:

FINALLY!

This was a pain to get out, honestly. I'm on this TERRIBLE SCHEDULE where I have a mid-term exam every two weeks. Don't get me started.

That said, I like how this one turned out.

Thanks to the crew: Jake The Army Guy, unimpressive vagaries, coandco, aquapunkchick, and BlackSkulls.