My head throbbed. I resisted the urge to rub my temples. I fought hard to keep a pleasant smile on my face. “Tea, anypony?” I managed to say in a friendly tone. Carrot Top and Lily had already been here for quite a while, and my patience was beginning to wear thin.

Carrot Top said nothing as her gaze burned into my table. She paid me no mind. She was too busy desperately wishing she was somewhere else.

Lily on the other hoof… well. “Oh, I’d just love a glass, Mr. Pleasure,” she practically sang. “Such a fine host you are.” Her tone was nothing but joyous, and a lesser stallion might’ve thought all was well, but there was not truly a trace of glee in her mind. Behind false mirth lay casks of venom. “No wonder Goldy visits so often.” Her sickly smile unnerved me greatly.

Still, I was no stranger to the “everything’s fine” game. I’m actually quite good at it. “Well, I’ll just put the kettle on, then. Be right back.” Courteous smile.

As I picked out a tea, and set the kettle to boil, I ran over the past few minutes in my head. Lily had arrived with Carrot Top. Honestly, I’d half-expected that. Lily was happy. That I hadn’t expected. Not real happy, though. Fake-happy. Playing nice just to spite us. Yes, us. I actually seemed to find myself in a situation where Carrot Top was something of an ally. Unfortunate alliance aside, I needed a game plan.

I’d been in this situation before. Angry significant others are just a part of the job. If the worst Lily had to offer was a poison attitude, I knew I’d be fine. ‘Okay, so how do we approach this? We’ve already begun to play her little game; now we need to win.’ I took a deep breath as I prepared myself. I would be biting my tongue a lot. ‘Ultimately though, I should try and figure out exactly what’s going on between them. Play along and pry when possible. It’s as good a plan as any right now.’

I returned to my living room and my forced smile returned with me. “Well, that will just be a minute.” I sat across from the divided couple once again. “So, Lily, I wasn’t expecting you here. Not that it’s unwelcome, I just would’ve preferred a bit more time to prepare.”

“Well, it was a spur of the moment thing. Right, dear?” She gave Carrot Top a little shake.

Mildly surprised, the mare looked up for the first time since she arrived. “Lily… what are we doing here?” She was clearly in no mood for Lily’s little act. “Let’s go home. We can talk about this.”

“But we only just got here. We can’t leave now. Besides, Guilty just put on tea for us.”

“Lily… please… don’t be like this.”

I spoke up before Lily could give a cheery retort. “I assure you, Ms. Harvest. It’s fine.”

Her gaze narrowed, and I could practically see the gears turning behind her eyes. ‘Is he on my side?’ they seemed to ask.

“See, sweetie? It’s fine. Mister Pleasure doesn’t mind that I’m here.” Her disdain for Carrot Top bled through her act for only a moment. A single sour note in an otherwise joyous tune. “So, what’s on for tonight? I’d love to see what goes on in these little… appointments. Is that what they’re called? Appointments?” Her smile looked as though it could cut glass.

I was getting into the swing of things. My baser instincts screamed at me to just diffuse the situation, but my baser instincts are kind of pussies. Swallowing my irrational fear of conflict, I managed to keep a smile on my face, and cheer in my voice. “I prefer ‘session’, but call it whatever you like. Either way, I’m sure tonight is going to take several interesting turns. For now, though, let’s just talk. How’s everything going for you two?”

“Oh, everything’s just super!” Her voice hit an octave I didn’t know existed. “Goldy and I were planning on going down to Los Pegasus for our anniversary. Oh, but that’s probably cancelled at this point, isn’t it dear?” She gave her lover another shake, this time with a bit more vigor.

She was not pleased. “Lily, stop!” protested Carrot Top.

“Oh, sorry, honey. I’m just so excited to be here at one of your little rendezvous.” She turned to me. “So what does happen at these little meets? Goldy’s been ever-so-shy about it.”

My smile grew smug. “I’m sorry, Lily, but I am forbidden from divulging the nature of a session to anypony but those present at the time, nor can I confirm that any such session has ever even occurred. I will neither confirm nor deny that either of you has not visited me before this very night.” My practiced line cracked her mask, if only slightly. A brief, but noticeable scowl flashed across her features.

“Well, aren’t you... professional?” she responded, repairing her act in an instant. “But, Goldy’s already confessed to me that she’s been seeing you almost since you came to town. Certainly it’s okay now, right?”

“I’m quite sure I can’t comment on that.”

She beat back a sour expression. “Oh, is that so? Such a shame. There’s still tonight, though. Oooh, I can’t wait to see what fun little things you two will get up to.”

I moved to strike. “Just us two? Does that mean you won’t be joining us? The bed is quite large, there’s more than enough room.”

Lily blushed up to her ears and Carrot Top gaped at me in shock and anger. Truth be told, I wasn’t really planning on bedding either of them tonight; I was just trying to rattle Lily out of her act. Carrot Top may not have liked it, but I could suffer through her ire for the time being.

So, just like a normal session, really.

Lily stammered her way through a response. “Oh, I… I couldn’t… I’d never…” She shuddered in disgust. Not a straight bone in her body, it seems.

“Then again, you’ll have a front row seat to anything that does happen. Would you like that?” She opened her mouth to respond, but I pressed on. “Would that please you… to watch us? It’s a fairly common request, as far as couples go. A private little show. Just for you. And you’ll have a seat right there by the bed, where you can see… everything.” I made use of my seldom seen diabolical smirk.

Lily’s face began to lose composure as unwelcome images assaulted her mind. I was trying to remind her of what had made her upset in the first place. With any luck, it would be enough to get her to lash out… get upset. Anything to get her to abandon her little game.

“That’s enough!” cried Carrot Top, to both my Lily’s and my surprise. “Both of you!” A moment of silence confirmed that we had both, indeed, stopped. “Look… that’s enough of this… whatever it is you two are playing at. Lily… let’s just go. We’ll talk about this on our own. We don’t have to do this here.”

Now, what Carrot Top had just done, whether she’d intended to or not, was give me an out. She gifted me with an opportunity to distance myself from this situation. I could just send them back into the night with an “I’m sure you two will work it out.”

However, I’d like to think I’m a better pony that that. This was a session, and It would only be professional to help them while they were here. Even then, I like helping ponies… even bitchy ones like Carrot Top. And for once, the context was such that I could help these two.

Lily’s true voice was finally heard, and the game was over. The hurt, angry, betrayed mare spoke in a bitter tone. “I just… I just don’t get it.” Gone was the giddy little creature that I’d been sparring with, replaced with a sad, fragile mare. “I just don’t get… why. What does this… does he… do for you that I can’t.” Out came the tears. “I... I just want to know… w-why I’m n-not good enough.”

Exasperation coursed through Carrot Top. This was the continuation of a conversation, clearly, for her to be tired of it already. “Lily, that’s not—”

“I-I’m never good enough. Y-you won’t… you won’t let me move in with you. You w-won’t kiss me in public. You—” she heaved heavily as more tears came. “You n-never tell me you love me anymore.” She brought face out of her hooves and leveled her eyes with Carrot Tops. Carrot Top, to her credit, did not flee the gaze of her openly crying lover. “It’s like we’re n-not even d-dating anymohooohooooore.” Her face hid once again behind her hooves as she began to bawl like a child. Pent-up emotions were spilling all over my table.

My kettle took this exact moment to be the best possible time to start boiling.

My kettle is an asshole.

“Hang on… I’ll get that.” I rose hurriedly to address my shrieking appliance. “Does, uh, anypony still want tea?” Lily nodded pathetically from behind her hooves. Carrot Top gave a slight nod as well, too busy with Lily to remember that she hated me. I returned with a few cups of black tea on a small tray. “Here.” I slid a cup in front of each of them. Things were moving a bit faster than I expected. Lily must’ve been on the edge of tears since she got here.

For a time everypony was silent, save the quiet sobs of the pink mare with a flower in her hair. Carrot Top and I exchanged glances every now and then, but we mostly tended to our drinks. After a few minutes Lily had worked up the fortitude to raise her head. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Guilty.”

“Don’t be. You—”

“No… I… I just wanted to make a scene.” She finally picked up her now-cold tea. “I… I didn’t need to involve you in this.”

“Think nothing of it. I think of you as friends, you don’t even have to ask.” She smiled at that.

She put down her teacup. “We should really be going, then.”

“Stay,” I interjected. Both mares gave me a disbelieving look. “You’re already paying for an hour; you may as well use all of it. Am I right?”

Lily sighed tiredly. “You really are being too kind now, Guilty.”

“Lily. If I may… weigh in.” She gestured for me to continue. “This… is a safe place. Nothing that is said here will be repeated outside. It will never leave the confines of these four walls. And, you two, if I may make an assumption, desperately need a proper forum to communicate. Right now the both of you are my clients. I… urge you to make use of this opportunity. I urge you to make use of me, while I am yours. I’m a good moderator. I’ve done this sort of thing plenty of times.” I gave them my most earnest look. “You’re my friends, and I want to help. So, please… allow me to. I know that’s selfish, but—”

“Selfish!?” Lily exclaimed. “Oh, Guilty, you are just too… and after the way I was acting…”

Carrot Top did not share her girlfriend’s grateful attitude. I could feel her apprehension. It practically permeated the air. “I don’t… like this,” she admitted.

“Oh, for Luna’s sake.” Lily whined. “Why not?”

“I just…” Carrot Top desperately looked for an excuse. “I’d rather get through this on our own.”

“Well, news flash, Goldy. We’ve been trying to… for a while now. It hasn’t exactly been working!” Lily was shocked at her own outburst. “I just… I think we should try this.”

The nervous orange mare continued to squirm desperately, trying to escape from my home and my session. “Lily I just—”

Lily exploded. “Fucking… work with me here!” That was the first time I’d heard her swear. Sweet, kind, gentle Lily was suddenly a creature of fury. “Will you do this one thing for me? Will you please just fucking try this?” She ran a hoof down her face, her visage manic. “I’m at my wit’s end here, Goldy. Because, I want us… to work, and I am tired of… fighting you to make it so. So please… let’s try this… because without Guilty… I am out of fucking ideas.”

Carrot Top swallowed deeply, before once again staring at the floor. “O-okay,” she relented. Perhaps she had underestimated just how much hot water she was in, or perhaps she was simply shocked to hear Lily shout like that. Whatever the case, any further objections were not voiced.

I cleared my throat. “Well, if that’s settled… some ground rules.” They nodded. “First and foremost: no shouting. We’re not going to make any sort of progress is this turns into a screaming match.” Lily nodded in agreement. “Second: no interrupting. Both of your thoughts and opinions are valid, and deserve to be heard.” Once again, Lily nodded. “And, finally: don’t antagonize. I understand that both of you are upset, and that’s fine, you’re allowed to be upset, you can give voice to that anger here. But don’t be hostile or confrontational. Once again, that’s not going to solve anything. Does that sound okay?”

“Yes, of course,” replied Lily. Carrot Top remained silent.

Before Lily could snap at her, I spoke. “Ms. Harvest… You’re going to have to make an effort here. I understand that you’re uncomfortable, but I need you to meet me half-way. So, please, do yourself the courtesy of being present in this conversation.”

Carrot Top raised her head slightly. “That sounds fine,” she said laconically.

“See what it’s like trying to talk to her?” Lily said.

“Lily, please… don’t antagonize. I’m not taking a side here. You don’t need to try to convince me of anything.”

“Oh… I’m sorry, I… I’m sorry.” Lily’s gaze now drifted downwards, as shame began to grow on her face.

“Don’t be. Now, before we proceed. May I speak with Ms. Harvest privately?”

Lily looked surprised. “Oh, um… of course.” She looked around my home. “Should I—?”

I pointed off to my right. “The bedroom’s right through there. This will only take a moment. I’ll let you know when we’re done.”

“Uh… okay.” Lily made her way through the door, and Carrot Top’s spiteful gaze rose to meet mine.

“What are you playing at?” she asked darkly. “What are you even trying to do?”

With Lily out of the room, I no longer felt the need to hide my annoyance. My brow furrowed and my hooves found their way to my temples. I rubbed slowly to ease my splitting migraine. “You wanna know what I’m tryin’ ta do, Carrot Top? I’m tryin’ to help Lily.” No proper accent. No act. No nothing. This was just truth.

I gave her an unamused look. “I don’t like you. You don’t like me. That’s fuckin’ fine. I don’t give a shit.” It felt good not to filter myself. “But I think Lily is a sweet, darling mare. She’s a friend. An’ that fuckin’ means something to me.”

Carrot Top remained silent, still baffled at my accent, I think. “I’m not gonna pretend to understand why exactly she likes you, but she does. And, being the decent fucking pony I am, I’m going to try to help her patch things up with you. Because that’s what friends fuckin’ do. Now I don’t know if you two can actually patch things up. Seems like you’re in a pretty bad place right now. But I am gonna fuckin’ try to help. And to do that properly, I need two things from you.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “And what would that be?”

“First. I need you to cooperate with me. I need you to actually fuckin’ try. Because you have been spending the better part of this appointment starin’ at the fuckin’ woodwork. Second…” I returned the act. This was a proper request, and as such, should be asked in a proper way. “I need your explicit permission to discuss both the existence of, and the nature of your previous sessions with Lily.”

She looked aghast. “W-why would you need to do that?”

“Because I can almost guarantee it’s going to come up. Without your permission, I must remain silent on all such matters. That silence will bring this conversation to a screeching halt.”

She groaned audibly. “Why do you even need my permission?”

“Two reasons. I need your permission because it is my most cardinal rule. Discretion is the very nature of my business. It is sacrosanct. More importantly however… I need you to trust me.”

She scoffed. “Trust you?”

“Yes. When you came to me so many months back, you trusted me to keep your sessions a secret. I cannot betray that trust now. If this conversation is to be fruitful, you must have trust in me. For these reasons, I ask your permission. May I discuss your sessions with Lily?”

She stared at me once more. It wasn’t a glare this time, though. It was more like she was sizing me up, trying to figure out if she could trust me.

In the end, I guess she decided she could. “Fine. You can… talk about it.” She swallowed visibly, already dreading the conversation that was about to occur.

“Thank you.” Our conversation completed, I rose to fetch Lily. “Lily?” I asked, peeking into the bedroom. I found her staring at my cloud bed. ‘Shit, that was an oversight.’

“Is this… where you two…?” She raised a hoof to wipe tears from her eyes.

I took a deep breath. “We’ll… get to that.”

“Okay…” She showed no signs of moving from the bedroom. “You know… I agreed to this… little therapy session you’re giving us, but… I’m still mad… at both of you.” She looked up at me, her expression matter-of-fact. “I know… that it’s your job to keep things secret. I know that, but…” She looked through her mind for the right words. “… But that doesn’t make me feel any less betrayed, Guilty. I considered you a friend, and you kept this from me. And even though you didn’t know me when this started… and even though it’s your job to be discreet… and even though I recognize that this was an impossible situation for you, none of that keeps me from being mad at you. I just… want you to know that. I’m going to do my best to stay level-headed, but…” She forced a smile. “Well… I’m going to do my best.”

“That’s okay. I’m not going to pretend that my profession makes me somehow exempt from that anger. You have every right to be upset.” ‘Now, let’s hope she can be angry and civil at the same time.’

She nodded. “Shall we, then?”

“Yes, it’s about time we begin.”

So the two of us sat down with Carrot Top, and couple’s therapy was in session. “So without further ado, let’s start. The first thing I want you both to do is simple. I just want you to honestly tell each other how you feel. Just remember the rules. Would either of you like to go first?”

“I would,” said Lily. “I just feel like—”

“Don’t tell me, Lily. Tell Ms. Harvest. Again, I’m just here to make sure you to communicate effectively.”

“R-right” She turned to her lover, and continued. “I just feel like… lately you’ve been very… cold to me. I mean, we’ve never been a perfect couple. We would have our fair share of arguments, but that’s normal. Couples fight. Lately, though… it’s like we barely have conversations that aren’t arguments. It used to be that we’d have a bad day every now and again, but now… it’s like the good days are a… a commodity… a rarity. It’s like the days when we aren’t fighting are breaks from my otherwise … miserable… life.” She began to cry. “I’m s-sad, Goldy. I’m just… sad so m-much of the time. I’ve been trying and t-trying and trying to be happy, and to make you happy, but… I’m kind of ready to… give up. It’s like… It’s like I don’t even want to try anymore.”

She took a deep breath. “And this was before you told me about you and Guilty. When I found out that you were being… intimate… with somepony else I… I just about lost it.” She swallowed hard. “Because I had been trying so hard to make… us… work, and you had just… found somepony else already. I mean… it made sense… the distance, the silence, the… everything. Of course you had found somepony else to… to share yourself. It explained everything.”

“Lily, that’s not—”

“Ms. Harvest, let her finish,” I chastised, earning myself a glare.

Lily once again dove into her hooves. “It just felt like… you’d… given up on me.”

“Lily, I never—”

“Ms. Harvest…” I intoned once again.

“No, I’m… I’m done. I need a moment.” Lily wiped tears from her eyes and looked up at Carrot Top. “Your turn, I guess.”

Carrot Top looked to me, half out of confirmation, and half out of desperation. She just needed a little push. “Ms. Harvest, is there anything you’d like to say in response? Or anything you’d like to bring up?”

“I…” She swallowed. “I…” she repeated. She opened her mouth a third time, but no sound came. The poor mare had stage fright.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” pleaded Lily.

“Lily, please. She’s trying.”

Carrot Top’s hooves rapped nervously against my table. “I… It’s really hard.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What’s hard?”

“To… to just talk like this. To talk about… this kind of thing. It’s… It’s really hard for me.”

“‘This kind of thing?’”

“Like… Like… emotions.” She turned back to Lily. “I don’t… I don’t know how to talk about it like you do. You’ve… You’ve got all these words for emotions. Betrayed. Devastated. Morose. Ennui. You use them all the time. But I… I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to turn a feeling into a word. I can figure out ‘good’ and ‘bad’ but… beyond that… I don’t know how to explain it. I feel shitty about a lot of what I’ve done. I feel… really really awkward right now.” She shrugged. “That’s about the best I can do.”

Carrot Top was beginning to shake. This was visibly difficult for her. “So… I’m sorry, if sometimes it feels like I’m not… communicating. But it’s never because… because I don’t want to. It’s because I don’t know how. And… and I know we’ve been fighting a lot, and… and I’m sorry. I can tell it’s my fault, I… I’ve been… out of it lately.”

Lily wanted to speak up, but restrained herself.

“And as for… Guilty…” she bit her lip. “I’m… I’m really sorry about that, too.”

“You think you can just apologize—!?”

“Lily, please. Yelling.”

Lily begrudgingly silenced herself. She was beginning to lose her cool.

“I… I don’t know what else you want me to say, Lily. I don’t know what else to do beyond say I’m sorry. I don’t know how else I can… fix this situation. You want something from me, I know that much, but… but I don’t know what that is.” Now Carrot Top was beginning to sob. “What am I supposed to say?”

Lily sighed. “I don’t know either.”

Before silence could set in, I kept the conversation moving. “Okay. That was very honest of both of you. Now, there’s a few important things I’d like to address, if that’s alright. Now, the first is something you two mentioned. Now, Ms. Harvest, you said you’ve been ‘out of it’ and Lily said that you’ve been in a bad mood lately. How long has this been going on? Did… something happen?” ‘Pick your battles carefully, Guilty. You’ve only got so long before the both of them are fed up with each other. Are you sure this is worth talking about? I pondered. If nothing else, I might be able to get Carrot Top to admit something personal again. The more she does it the easier it will become.

Lily was, of course, the one to respond. “I… must’ve asked her a hundred times what was wrong. I never got a straight answer.”

‘Let’s give it a shot.’ “Well, Ms. Harvest, I think now would be a good chance to talk about that, if you like.” ‘Careful, don’t push too hard.’

“I can’t,” she quickly responded. It was interesting. It wasn’t a nervous “I can’t.” It was direct… matter of fact. Not a “please don’t make me.” More of a “Circumstances prevent me from discussing it.”

“Why can’t you?” I inquired.

“I just... I just don’t want to,” she explained.

“That’s a lie.” Both Lily and Carrot Top gave a surprised look. “I mean, it’s true, but it’s not all true. There’s another reason you can’t talk about it.” This time they shot confused looks at each other. “I’m not wrong. You are lying. That is a fact.”

Carrot Top began to protest. “You… you can’t just know—”

“I can and do. You’re a good liar, don’t get me wrong, but you have a tell. It’s in your brow. Don’t worry about it. The fact remains, that was a lie. Or a half-truth, I suppose.” I did not break eye-contact for a moment. They could tell I was being perfectly serious. “So please… once again. Why can’t you talk about it?” ‘Dangerous territory, Guilty. Very dangerous. Don’t let your own curiosity ruin this session. I hope you know what you’re doing.’

Lily remained speechless while Carrot Top wrestled with her tongue. “Y-you… How do you...? RRRRGH!” She shook her hooves in anger. “Isn’t this breaking your own rule? Aren’t you antagonizing me right now?”

‘She’s right. Quick! Evade the question!’ “Ms. Harvest… I can’t make you talk about it. I won’t make you talk about this. But… you really should. You need to be open about this kind of thing.” I sighed. “I think it’s painfully obvious that while you two have many many small problems… you also have one big one. And that is a lack of communication.” Lily nodded in agreement. “You might not want to hear this, but no relationship lasts long without it. If you don’t start communicating…” I trailed off, nothing more needed to be said.

“No… no I can’t… I just can’t.” She shook her head

‘Probe. Delicately.’ “But, why? Is it about Lily?”

She shook her head.

“Is… it about me?”

She did nothing.

“So it’s about me.” Searched my memory. It didn’t take long to figure out what had occurred to put Carrot Top in a sour mood. “This is because Derpy introduced us?” The times seemed to match up.

She nodded.

“Wait,” Lily interjected. “What do you mean she introduced you. You’d said you’d been doing this for over a year, right? How did you get ‘introduced’? You’ve only been… out of it… for a couple months at the most.”

“That… will require some explanation.” I cleared my throat. “I have asked Ms. Harvest if I may… discuss everything that has occurred between us, and she agreed.” I could see Carrot Top bracing herself. “Do you… still want to hear about it?”

Lily looked unsure. “Oh, um...” Her brashness earlier was coming back to bite her. “… I mean… I know earlier I was saying… but…”

“We don’t have to discuss the… session itself. But… the context might be necessary.” I worried if I was overstepping my bounds. Was I forcing the direction of the conversation? ‘In the end, this needs to be discussed. Doesn’t it?’

Lily gave a conflicted nod. “O… okay.”

I took a breath. “So… Ms. Harvest first approached me, like you said, over a year ago.” I could see the mare in question writhe in torment. She wanted to curl into a ball and disappear. “She… never gave her name. She offered only a pseudonym. ‘Carrot Top,’ I was to call her. We never really spoke, she would arrive, get what she came for, and leave. So for the better part of our… acquaintanceship… we’d never truly… met.”

“That changed one day during market. I was buying carrots from… some client whose name I didn’t know… and Derpy spotted me. She ran up, said hello, and introduced me to her best friend… my client… Golden Harvest.”

Lily turned to Carrot Top. “You… you had him call you that? Why?”

“I… I don’t know,” she responded.

“Is there some significance to that name?”

“It’s… it’s a name some girls used to tease her with. She hates that name.”

“Well, regardless, I believe we have found the source of your foul mood. My… inclusion in your life has been stressful for you, it seems.” I put on a frown. “I’m so sorry. I guess, I’m even more to blame than before.” A false apology. Carrot Top’s actions were her own; I did not force her to react as she did. Either way, I was still the villain in Lily’s eyes, and little bits of sympathy add up.

It occurs to me that that might be considered a shitty way of thinking about this situation.

Well… old habits die hard.

“It’s… It’s okay, Guilty. That’s not on you,” Lily said.

See? That shit works.

Carrot Top finally spoke up. She managed to force herself through a proper apology. “I’m… I’m sorry Lily. I’m so sorry. I just kept… worrying that you were going to find out and… and it kept bringing up memories and… and I’m sorry.”

There was a pause. The silence was almost tangible as Lily and I shared a look. I could see the same thought behind her eyes that was behind mine.

‘Memories?’

Lily tentatively asked the question that was on both of our minds. I was happy she did; I’d dictated the flow of this conversation far too much already.

“Goldy? What do you mean… memories?”

In an instant her apologetic visage was gone, replaced by a nearly perfect poker face. “Nothing.” It was that same tone. That direct, matter of fact tone. It came so natural to her. It was a lie she was used to telling. An old secret. Some fundamental secret that’s been a part of her life for a very long time.

“No, you said it brought up memories, what did you mean?” Lily persisted. I’d mostly stopped paying attention. My mind was racing. ‘I bring up old memories for Carrot Top. No. Not just me, it happened after she found out that Derpy was a client.’

Carrot Top began to panic. “I… I didn’t mean anything. Can we drop this?” ‘Something about the fact that Derpy was a client. Has Derpy even been strung along by somepony before? Am I reminding her about that? She mentioned something like that I think.’

“Goldy… you were trying to communicate right? I know you say it’s hard for you, so… so I’m trying to be more receptive, here.” ‘It’s plausible. But why would that be a secret for Goldy? Come on, Guilty. You’re missing something.’

“I… I wasn’t. I don’t… I don’t want to… Can we please not do this?” ‘It involves Derpy. It’s a secret. Maybe it’s a secret from Derpy. What do we know about their relationship? If there’s a secret between two friends, it will somehow affect their dynamic. Carrot Top’s overprotective of Derpy. Says she’s too trusting. That would make sense, if Carrot Top herself was keeping something from her. Too trusting would include Carrot Top.’

“I’m… I’m sorry, dear. I’m just… trying to help.” ‘Okay, we’ve got a working theory. Now, how do I factor into this? How does me being with Derpy bring up memories? It must somehow involve somepony else that Derpy’s been… with… oh…’

“No you weren’t, Lily. You were just trying to pry… you always do this!” I didn’t even notice that Carrot Top was beginning to yell. I was too busy being shocked by my own revelation.

“She slept with Dusty,” I said to myself. ‘You fool! That was out loud!’

Carrot Top’s head spun around with nearly violent force. Her mouth was agape, her pupils pinpricks. “Y-y-you…” ‘Bullseye, it would seem.’

There’s this moment when a pony’s secret is discovered. It’s a moment of pure and incomparable terror. It happens right after their secret comes to light, and right before they know how everypony is going to react. In that moment, their brain is assuming the worst. They’re imagining every possible bad scenario that possibly occur, and it’s terrifying.

That pure and unfiltered terror was evident on Carrot Top’s face. She was petrified. Frozen with fear. This moment was physically affecting her. She was about to start hyperventilating. Were this not a session, I might have allowed her to suffer for a bit.

“Really?” I made sure to keep anger or judgment out of my tone. After all, I was certainly in no place to judge her. I mean, it made sense but it was still… kind of shocking.

“I… I…” She was still waiting for the other hoof to drop.

“Goldy… I… I don’t believe it.” Lily could only place a hoof in front of her mouth in shock. “I just don’t believe it. When? How?” To her credit, Lily didn’t seem mad either. She was, however, completely flabbergasted.

“It…” She took a deep breath. “Years ago…” she trembled as she spoke. It’s curious, but in the end, ponies want to tell their secrets. They want freedom from the weight in their stomach that comes with keeping something hidden inside of them. Carrot Top had probably envisioned this moment a hundred times. Practiced it. Dwelled on it.

I was probably never present in her simulations.

“It was at a… a Hearth’s Warming p-party I threw. Dinky was still just a b-baby. Derpy h-had to leave early to let the sitter go home and… and we were drunk and… Dusty and I kept talking and… and before I realized it e-everypony had left except for him, and…” Carrot Top began to hyperventilate. “And… and… and… it just kind of… happened!”

‘Sympathize. She needs to calm down.’ “That… must’ve been a very painful secret to keep.” ‘Not your best work.’

“How… how could you keep that from Derpy?” Lily was still trying to wrap her head around the situation. Still, the shock was beginning to wear off.

Carrot Top rubbed the tears from her eyes. “W-w-we were going to tell her. We really were. W-we both decided to just come clean, but then… then…” Her voice squeaked in anguish. “… he died.” She paused as the situation began to sink in. “And I couldn’t… I just... I couldn’t let Derpy remember him like that. I couldn’t… I couldn’t do that to her.” She swallowed. “So… so I didn’t say anything. I just… I couldn’t. I still can’t.” She gave us both a desperate look. “She can’t find out about this, you two. It would just… it would destroy her.”

My response was automatic. “I won’t be saying anything. This is a session. Your privacy is guaranteed.”

Lily, on the other hoof, had a less… favorable response. “Oh my gosh, Goldy… I’m having lunch with her tomorrow. How… how do you expect me to look at her?” She gagged briefly. “I think I might be sick.”

“I know… I know… It’s just… I’m so awful.” Carrot Top was now openly bawling. “I’m… I’m just such a bad friend.” She buried her face deeper into her hooves than ever before as long overdue tears were finally let loose.

I pondered. ‘Do I comfort her or do I let her cry?’ As I wrestled with my dilemma, Lily found her own answer.

A gentle pink hoof found its way into Carrot Top’s mane. “It’s… it’s okay, dear.”

In an instant Carrot Top threw herself at Lily, wrapping her arms around her. After a moment of shock, Lily returned her hug as she wept into her lover’s shoulder. “I’m… I’m sorry . I’m so sorry! I kept so much from you and I’m sorry!”

Several minutes passed while Carrot Top bawled and screamed and cried into Lily’s welcoming shoulder. She needed this cry, and I wasn’t about to interrupt it. Lily’s anger was seemingly forgotten as she stroked the puffy orange mane. Perhaps she’d realized just how much stress Carrot Top was under, or perhaps a nurturing instinct simply kicked in. Regardless, if only for the moment, the fighting had stopped. I took the opportunity to fetch the mares a glass of water. Carrot Top was going to have a ragged throat.

Carrot Top finally released Lily as I placed the water in front of her. “Thank you, Guilty. Thank you so much.” She quickly grasped at the glass with both hooves. “And I’m sorry to you too. I’m always so mean when I come here. I’m sorry I throw the money on the floor, and I’m sorry I’m always just so cold, and I’m sorry I don’t let you talk and—”

“Okay. Okay, let’s rein it in, Goldy. I think the floodgates are a little bit open, and you’re a getting overwhelmed by your own emotions.” I used my “extra-comforting” tone, for only the most dire of situations. “I want you to take a deep breath and drink some water.” I smirked. “Just not at the same time; we don’t want you choking.”

She laughed at that. “You… you called me Goldy,” she observed.

I paused for a moment. “Is… that okay?”

She nodded, before obliging my request. She inhaled long and hard before taking a deep drink of cold water. “I… I do mean it, Guilty. I… I really am sorry. It just… it made it… easier somehow. It made it easier to—”

I raised a hoof, cutting her off. “Please, Goldy, no need to explain. It’s a mentality I’m intimately familiar with. Not to mention, we should probably spare Lily. I don’t think she wants to hear about the, erm… details.”

“I… I do have one question… actually,” spoke Lily.

“Oh, um…” Carrot To— Goldy looked at me and nodded. “I think you probably deserve that.”

She turned to her lover. “Goldy… what I’m about to ask… might sound stupid. It’s something I’ve… I’ve been worrying about. With everything that’s happened here, I… I find myself actually worrying more than before.”

My brow furrowed. ‘Well, that’s the opposite of the desired result.’

“Goldy… do you… do you wish I was a stallion?”

‘Okay… that’s a valid concern given what’s come to light.’

“I mean… when you told me about Guilty… that’s the first place my mind went. I mean… it’s not as though we’d never…” A blush crept onto her face. “… you know. But… some part of me always felt like… like you didn’t enjoy… that… with me. You always said you did, but… but some part of me didn’t believe you. I always chalked it up to my own paranoia, but now Guilty… and Dusty… I just.. I have to ask this stupid stupid question.” She fiddled with her hooves as she mustered her courage. “Golden Harvest, are you… straight?”

“What?” I scanned Goldy’s features. Minor traces of worry, but no guilt. This was not one of Goldy’s many secrets, it seemed. “No… Lily, I love you.”

“I know you love me, Goldy. I just worry that… you don’t love being with me.” Her head fell.

That latent worry I’d spotted came back threefold. “W-well…” It seemed that Goldy had been telling so much truth, she’d briefly forgotten how to lie.

Lily just shook her head. “I knew it. I knew it.” She stood up and began to pace. “The signs have always been there. Derpy always said you never really showed interest in girls.” Lily had apparently taken it upon herself to make sure that drama could not leave the conversation.

“Lily, it’s not that. It’s…” She cast a worried glance in my direction. I forced myself not to roll my eyes. Of all the ponies to be shy around, I am not one of them. “It’s… well… don’t be mad?”

Lily stood firm. “I make no promises.”

Goldy’s Ears shot back. “Well… I… I like being… f-f-filled. And when we’re… you know… you never… you never use the… the… thing I bought.”

Lily’s head cocked to the side. “What thing?”

“The… the v…. vibrator. Remember?” Goldy was now a bright tomato red. “I bought it for you to… to … use… on me. But… you never do.” She steeled herself. A sort of courage began to build within her. “And… and while we’re on the subject, you… you never do much of anything for me in bed. You’re kind of… selfish. You let me get you off, and then you just kind of… stop. You never really... reciprocate.”

Can’t say I was expecting that.

Lily looked positively mortified. “I…”

“And… and I didn’t want to say anything, because… because whenever I asked for something in bed, you always seemed to… take it personally. And… and Lily, I needed… release. And so…” Her gaze fell. “… so I started visiting Guilty.”

Silence hung.

Goldy was the one to break it. “I… I think you’re right, Guilty… I think my… floodgates are kind of open.” She laughed nervously. “… I’m sorry, Lily.”

Lily looked as though she’d seen a ghost. “I… I just… I never.” Her face began to turn red. “I never thought... I guess I never thought that… that you were anything but satisfied.”

“How could I be satisfied, Lily? You never touch me. I’m the only one doing anything.” She pounded her hoof against the table.

Calming tone. “Okay, Goldy. You’ve made your point. Lily feels bad already, no need to rub salt in the wound.” ‘Not to mention, you’re beginning to lose your temper.’

Lily struggled in vain to find her voice. “I… I’m… I…”

‘Help her, she’s drowning. How to handle? Private conversation? No, we already did one of those today. What’s a good angle? Generic sympathy will have to do.’

Comforting tone. “That’s… not an easy thing to hear, is it?”

Lily simply shook her head.

“As you might suspect… I’ve heard this a lot from couples that come in.”

“What do you tell them?” she asked, half out of desperation.

“That… trouble is the bedroom is just another obstacle to overcome. That there are worse problems to have. That sex is by no means the most important part of a relationship. And most importantly that… it’s never too late to start learning how to please your partner.”

“Mm-hmm…” Lily nodded.

‘Do we opt for confidence boost? Maybe we try to bring her in for sexual coaching. Hmmm… too many moves, I need to feel this out.’ “So, let me ask you something, Lily. Now that Goldy’s said that, how do you feel about your… performance in the bedroom?”

“I… I’m not sure. I always felt like she enjoyed it, but… but maybe… maybe I have been selfish. I’m trying to think of the last time, I… I actually did something… proactive, and… and I… can’t.” She looked Goldy in the eyes. “I… I guess I feel... ashamed that I’ve been… neglecting you. But at the same time… I suppose I just think about… you know… sex… differently than you.”

Goldy furrowed her brow. “How do you mean?”

“Well I guess… I guess it’s hard to explain. I mean to me… the most important part about… about being with you is just that. It’s the closeness, the... intimacy. I mean… it’s fun to… you know…” Shyness continued to hinder her speech. “… orgasm, but that comes second to… just feeling like you’re close to me. I mean, sometimes I don’t… finish, and… and I honestly don’t mind. I guess… I never thought that you would mind either.”

Goldy was confused. She seemed not to understand the concept of ‘not needing to climax.’ “Well… well now I feel bad.”

“You don’t have to feel bad about your desires, Goldy. Neither do you, Lily.” The mares both looked at me. By now they were ragged with fatigue. Emoting so much takes a toll on a pony. They, and I, were ready to end this session. “You both have very different needs. Physically. Emotionally. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, you both really need to work on —as I’ve said — communication. Goldy… you need to be more vocal about… well a lot.”

She nodded solemnly.

“Lily… I feel you need to be a bit more patient with Goldy. I think we’ve established that being open is a challenge for her.”

Lily nodded in turn.

“So… how are we feeling?”

“Overwhelmed,” responded Lily. Goldy nodded in agreement. “I mean I guess… I guess I’m not as mad as I was. I don’t know if I forgive either of you yet.” She looked me dead in the eye. “That said… I really have to thank you, Guilty. When I came here I was… I was ready to… to leave Goldy. Now I… I feel like I’ve got a… better understanding of… well of myself… of Goldy… of a lot of things.” She looked at Goldy. “I… I love you, Golden Harvest. No matter how mad I was this morning, I was never so mad that I stopped loving you. I… I want to work on our relationship. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either.”

“But… I need to lay down some ground rules. You’re not exactly out of the dog house yet.”

Goldy gulped. “O-okay.”

“No secrets. No lies. No matter how small, no matter how innocent, none whatsoever. I.. I can’t deal with it anymore. Also…” She glanced at my apologetically. “… no more seeing Guilty. I mean… you can still see him in town and stuff, but… but you can’t keep having sex with him. I just… I need that from you.”

No hesitation from Goldy. “Of course.”

“Promise me!” Lily insisted.

“I promise.”

“…Okay.”

“Can I ask for something then?”

“I… suppose.”

“Can you… can you try to give me… a little more slack in a conversation? I… I try really hard to… to share, to be open. When you keep… hounding me for a response… it makes it hard to… to talk to you. I want to be open, Lily, but… but you have to let me.”

“I will… make an effort.”

“And Guilty? I’m… I’m sorry you got caught up in this. And… and thank you. I… I don’t really deserve what you did for us today, not after the way I treated you, so… so thank you. You really… really didn’t have to do this.”

I could only smile. “You’re welcome. Both of you.” ‘Thank Luna, this is finally coming to an end.’

“So, I suppose we should go,” said Lily.

I looked at the clock. It was about that time. “Well… if the two of you ever want to come in… together I mean… my door is open.”

They nodded, and rose to leave. ‘Oh shit, do I have to be this guy right now?’ “Um… Ms. Harvest?”

Goldy sensed the unease in my tone. She looked confused.

I sighed, and held out an empty hoof. A poor sad hoof, with no money in it, just begging to be filled.

“Oh… right… right.” She produced a small bag of bits and hoofed it to me… like a decent pony.

“This will be fine today, but just so you know… I normally double the price for two mares. That’s forty an hour.”

“Good Heavens!” cried Lily, as she brought a hoof to her chest.

I chuckled. “I don’t come cheap, Lily.”

“Clearly.” She turned to Goldy. “Shall we?”

Goldy nodded. With a quick goodbye, the two left my home. I considered the session a success; the couple left on speaking terms, willing to work on their relationship. Sometimes all it takes is one calm conversation to prevent a potential breakup.

It would also appear that I’ve lost a client. No great loss, I never cared for her sessions all that much, anyways. Still… it will be nice to not have to cringe whenever Carrot Top walks by. Because, there is no Carrot Top, only Goldy.

*sigh*

I really hope they work it out. Their mood affects Derpy’s, which in turn affects mine. My life is made easier by their improved relationship. That hour of work will doubtlessly pay for itself… not to mention it was actually paid for. Overall, a very successful afternoon.

It would appear that I am determined to be a pragmatist.

Who am I kidding? I like helping ponies. I just also like making money.

Still, after they left, I was left with plenty of time to contemplate my latest plight. I had a secret to keep from Derpy… a big one. There was no ambiguity with this situation. I cannot tell Derpy about Dusty, much as I may want to. It was protected by the iron-clad rule of the session.

But… this will be harder than other secrets. This is something I truly wish I didn’t know.

I don’t want to think about this right now. I should get to bed.

Author's Notes:

This has been a planned turn of events since I wrote Chapter 7. I've been trying very hard to get to this point, but there was so much set-up to do.

I'm quite pleased with this chapter, and I do hope you enjoyed the antics of the angry couple. It was very fun to write.

Once again, thanks to coandco, aquapunkchick, Jake the Army Guy, and Blackskulls for sanding down the edges of my fic.