Luna walked into the room looking rather pissed off. I mean like the kind where if you get in her way, she will hurt you regardless of who you are. She stomped right up to me with anger apparent in her voice. She picked me up with magic and brought me straight to her face with her eyes still glaring.

“We said... WHERE.... IS.... SHE!?” Luna bellowed at me. I struggled in her magical grip for a moment before I finally responded.

“W-who are you talking about, Luna?” I asked freaking out quite a bit. Luna just growled and made me look directly at her.

“WE AM TALKING ABOUT NIGHTMARE MOON!!” Luna bellowed again. I just flinched and then looked at her quizzically. Then I somehow managed to put two and two together and got the answer.

“Ho-Ly... Fuck.” I muttered before freaking out a bit. “HOLY FUCK!! I just cheated on Luna with her alter ego!!”

“You did WHAT!?” Luna yelled. I just flinched and pointed to the room.

“Nevermind that now! Just go! She is in there!!” I said before Luna dropped me and stomped over to the room. I simply sat there not knowing what to do. “.... I just slept with my marefriend’s alter ego... How the fuck does that work?”

With that I got off the ground and made my way to the door, seeing Church on the kitchen floor... Asleep.

“Damn it Church.” I muttered as I will walk over to the room where I heard several things being thrown around. I slowly walked over to the door and began to slowly open said door. But before I could open the door it was, quite literally, ripped off it’s hinges and thrown to the other side of the room. Through the doorway, I saw Luna with the most pissed off expression I could have never even imagined coming from her.

On the other side of the room I saw Nightmare moon, still in Luna’s form, cowering with her back near the wall and a door stuck in the wall to the left of her. Luna slowly began to walk over to Nightmare, which is getting harder and harder to tell who is who, before she stopped in front of her and picked her up with magic.

“Now Nightmare Moon... For coming back with bad intentions. For coming back and stealing my life. FOR COMING BACK. AND SLEEPING. WITH MY COLTFRIEND. We are going to get rid of you once and for all.” Luna growled out before she dropped Nightmare Moon and her horn began to glow much brighter than normal.

“Luna please don’t do this!” Nightmare Moon began to beg. Luna did stop for a moment before she glared and shot Nightmare Moon with a spell that changed her back to her normal form.

She was a tall black mare with cat-like eyes and a flowing mane that was much darker than Luna’s. Although she was not wearing any regala like Luna or Tia and she did have a nice set of fangs under her upper lip. Then I thought of where Tia was in this mix before I looked to the bed and saw her just laying there still sleeping. I sighed and shook my head before I looked to Luna who was preparing to finish Nightmare Moon off once and for all.

“Please! Luna! I just want to change! Like Discord! Please give me another chance!!” Nightmare begged again as Luna neared her with the spell at it’s full charge.

“And you thought that taking over ourlife and having sex with our coltfriend was the way to announce that!?” Luna yelled at Nightmare who simply cowered even more.

“Well you try going a thousand years without relief!” Nightmare objected before a blast of magical energy scorched the ground in front of her, making her silence herself.

‘Why isn’t she fighting back? She doesn’t WANT to die does she?’ I thought. Nightmare was still cowering as Luna got right next to her and glared, one that quite literally made me shiver in fear for a moment. Nightmare Moon began to panic as her horn glowed for a moment before it just fizzled out, shooting off a few sparks.

“Uh oh...” Nightmare whispered as she saw the sparks fall in front of her eyes. Luna just grinned evilly herself before she she was about to let the spell loose, I walked in and did the stupidest thing. I knocked on the door frame. Both Luna and Nightmare looked at me with confused expressions. I just chuckled nervously before I walked in and got next to Luna.

“Um... Luna? Are you sure you want to kill her?” I asked cautiously. Luna just snorted in disbelief for a moment before she stared at me.

“You want her to live!? After what she did?!” Luna yelled which caused me to flinch. “Slayer she took over my appearance and slept with you!!... And you want her to live!?”

“Luna, look... I know what she was before, she was a total monster.” I said before Nightmare cut in.

“Hey!”

“Shut it bitch!” I yelled glaring and pointing a finger at her making her close her mouth and quiet down. Then I looked back to Luna.

“Nyeeeh.... Quiet... Down....” Church mumbled in his sleep. I simply shook my head before sighing.

“But if this is the worst she is gonna do and she REALLY does want to change like... who ever he was.” I said.

“Discord.” Luna said.

“Thank you. Anyway... If she does want to change. Then I say at least give her a chance.” I said putting my arms around Luna. “Come on... If she doesn’t change at all, then you can blast her back to the pits of hell she came from.”

“Okay now that is just hitting below the belt.” Nightmare muttered and slightly shook in fear from my statement.

“B-but... She’s evil!” Luna protested. I just sighed.

“Wasn’t that Discord guy evil?” I argued. Luna was about to say something before she simply sighed and glared at Nightmare.

“Fine..... We will not destroy her...” Luna said and Nightmare gave a silent cheer. “Yet.” And then she stopped cheering. “We are going to have to talk this over with our sister. When she wakes up that is.”

“Can’t you wake her up now?” I asked looking to Tia whom still was sleeping.

“Slayer... She didn’t wake up when we through a door into the wall... We don’t think she is going to wake up.” Luna said nudging me playfully.

“Right... So what do we do about Nightmare?” I asked looking to the solid black Alicorn that was visibly relaxed until Luna looked to her as well. Luna glared at her again.

“We are going to have to find a way to keep her here until Tia wakes up.” Luna said rubbing her chin with a hoof. Nightmare Moon simply sat there still terrified that Luna might slaughter her. “We are going to do this.”

Before anyone could say ‘what?’, she zapped Nightmare with some random spell before watching her fall to the ground limp. I just stared wide eyed at what just happened. “What the hell Luna!?” I yelled looking to Luna.

“Relax Slayer... She is simply knocked out. And for a while at that.” Luna said calmly. “And now... We are going to have a talk about what happened.”

“Oh no...” I muttered in slight fear.

“And that is all that happened... Luna I am so sor-” WHAP. “.... I deserved that. And-” WHAP WHAP. “Okay now maybe I deserved that too, but seriously Luna, it’s not like-” WHAP WHAP WHAP. “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALREADY I AM SORRY!” I yelled as Luna was pelting me with her shoe covered hoof. She seemed pleased with my apology and explanation. To be honest I was expecting her to lash out like a whip when I told her that Nightmare tricked me into having a bit of.... Private time with her. But she kept her cool through the entire thing. ‘Thank god. That is over.’

I looked over to the coach were Nightmare Moon was tied up and still unconscious. With a sigh I leaned back in the recliner I was sitting in and whined a bit as I felt the bruises that Luna gave my jaw. “Ooooww...” I whined out.

“Oh stop your whining. We could have done much worse. And we should have if not for one minor detail.” Luna said glaring at Nightmare Moon.

“And that would be?” I asked still rubbing the bruise on my face.

“Nightmare Moon is practically us in a sense. Seeing as we were the same pony once until Twilight and her friends separated us. Sooo.... We guess what we are trying to say is you pretty much cheated on us with ourself.” Luna said nodding in confirmation.

“Soooo... Wait what?” I asked tilting my head. Luna sighed and put a hoof to her forehead.

“Pretty much you had sex with us.... Just a different body.” Luna said dumbing it down for me.

“Oooooh.... Still that is weird.” I said. “I mean... It would be awesome if she wasn’t evil because then I would have two Lunas to love.”

“Aww you are so sweet!” Luna said smiling before frowning. “But you are still in trouble.”

“Aw damn. You have foiled my plans!” I said with a dramatic throwing of my arm around my eyes. Luna suppressed a giggle and her lips quivered in a failing attempt to not laugh. I grinned inwardly before continuing. “Oh woe is me! Oh woe is me! Without my plan I have nothing but my looks and charm to try and dissuade my princess of my treacherous decepticons!”

“Pffft... S-Stop that!” Luna said continuing to do her failing frown. I just continued by flopping out of my chair and laying on the ground while putting a clenched hand over my heart.

“Oh take my shame and take my misery, so that I may be purged of my heathen like ways!” I continued before putting a hand on Luna’s hoof and giving her my best beggar's face. “Oh mistress of the night! Take my love and run me through! For I dare not even breath the air around you as I am impure with guilt, shame, and disgrace!!”

“Slayer! Stop! We can’t be mad at you when you act like this!!” Luna somewhat yelled while using all her will to not giggle.

“I PLACE MY LIFE IN YOUR WISE HOOVES IN HOPES THAT-” I began before Luna quickly tackled me to the ground and kissed me effectively silencing me. She stopped before laughing out loud as I rolled my eyes.

“Y-you...” Luna paused for a snicker. “Aren’t in trouble anymore, but we are still mad at you.”

“That I can deal with.” I said smiling and hugging the pony on top of me. Before a sleepy alicorn shuffled out of the bedroom, trying to cover a yawn up with her hoof. “Oh hey Tia! Glad to see your finally awake.”

She just mumbled something and waved at me before she walked over to the couch and sat down next to Nightmare, whom was still passed out and slightly drooling. ‘Is it just a alicorn thing to drool or do all ponies do that?’

Celesita simply yawned again before she looked to her side and saw Nightmare Moon laying beside her. She yawned again and slightly leaned against Nightmare before her head slowly began to droop as she tried to stay awake. Before we knew it, Celestia had slumped down next to Nightmare Moon and had fallen asleep again. Nightmare, in her sleep induced state, gently wrapped on of her hooves around Celestia’s chest before pulling her a bit closer. Both Celestia and Nightmare let out a happily sigh as I was suppressing a rather loud laugh that was brewing inside of me.

“Slayer.... Don’t.” Luna warned as she herself was trying not to burst into laughter. I simply nodded before pulling out my phone and quickly taking a picture. Quickly saving the photo, I put my phone back before walking over and quickly shaking Celestia awake.

“Hey. Tia! Wake up.” I said gently. Tia simply swatted at me before I gently took Nightmare’s hoof off of her and gently shook her again. This time, Celestia quickly wrapped her hooves around me and dragged me down. She then gave me a deep kiss, when she broke it she mumbled something before releasing me and saying.

“You are not Churchy... Go away.” And waving a dismissive hoof. I blinked for a moment before looking to Luna and saying.

“That was not my fault.” I said pointing a finger a Tia. Luna simply nodded and sighed.

“Tia does that to anyone who tries to wake her. That is why we have a stick... Or we just pinch her at the base of her wings, making them extend and propel her off the bed.” Luna said with a snicker.

“Hmm....” I mused before I walked over and did exactly as Luna said. Pinched behind her wings. Probably shouldn’t have been standing in front of her.

Her wings extended, like advertised, but the part she didn’t tell me was how hard and fast she moved. It ended up with me getting 220 pounds of Celestia on top of me, with me struggling to breath. Celestia was busy waking up though.

“Huh? Wha? What is under me?” Celestia said looking down and seeing me, purple and still gasping.

“Can’t!” I let in a gasp for air. “BREATH!!”

“Oh I am not that big in the back am I?” Tia said looking at her rump while I continued to die of oxygen loss.

“Sister. You’re killing Slayer.” Luna said facehoofing. Celestia looked down and saw me before blushing and getting off quickly. As she got off my chest, I let in the biggest gasp I have ever had in my life.

“Okay I am not that big!” Celestia whined out again looking at her flanks. “Am I?”

“Tia don’t mind that now. We need to have a serious conversation that doesn’t involve your weight, flanks, or anything else that doesn’t pertain to what we are talking about!” Luna said grabbing Tia’s face and making her look at her.

“... Alright? What are we talking about?” Tia asked. Luna then turned Tia’s face to Nightmare Moon.

“That.” Luna said simply.

“Oh it’s just Nightmare Moon.... OH CRAP IT’S NIGHTMA-” Luna quickly clamped Tia’s mouth shut as Tia’s scream of surprise became muffled.

“Yes it is!” Luna quietly hissed. “And unless you want the whole hotel to know, then please keep quiet!”

Tia nodded before Luna let her go. She wiggled her nose a bit from the discomfort before she looked back at Nightmare. “So how is she even alive?” Tia asked. “I thought the elements purged her.”

“Well technically they did.” Luna said. “But we are assuming since the elements were never made to kill, but to entomb or purify that instead of simply turning us to stone like Discord, they merely separated us effectively turning Nightmare here into her own being. Thusly not only giving her life, but emotions and other normal pony traits.”

“Well that’s fucking stupid.” Church muttered from the Kitchen, now awake. “Stupid ponies with their peace and shit... Don’t even have fucking guns.” He just kept muttering.

“Actually they have crossbows.” I said to Church.

“Fucking crossbows.” Church muttered out angrily.

“So in short she is just another pony that... SOMEHOW... Regrets what she has done?” Celestia asked while Luna nodded.

“Okay I have a question.” I said getting up and walking over to Luna. “If she is her own being, then how come she can’t use magic? She has a horn doesn’t she?”

“Well yes, but Nightmare Moon was fueled by hatred. And being separated severed the link that she had off of us an-” Luna began before I had to interrupt.

“Okay babe please dumb it down for me because you are simply confusing me at this point.” I said putting a hand to my blood deprived brain filled head.

“... Alright. Pretty much. She fed off of my anger and now that she can’t eat my hate she can’t do magic.” Luna summed up.

“Oooooooooohh.” I said nodding understandingly.

“Right. So what do we do about her?” Tia asked pointing to Nightmare.

“Well she said she wanted a second chance to change like discord...” Luna began. “But we are still debating over whether or not to give it to her.”

“What do you mean?” Tia asked.

“She is a being of pure hatred. It seems more like a waste of effort than an actual reason to keep her alive.” Luna said glaring at Nightmare.

“That was pretty dark Luna.” Tia said looking upon her sister.

“Tia she took over my mind, made me fight you, and got me banished only to come back before knocking you out, attacking ponyville, then getting me back to normal BEFORE coming back again to sleep with my boyfriend and attempt to take over my life!!” Luna growled out. “So yes. Around her, we are going to be a little grim.”

“It’s like Pac man... Being chased by blue ghosts!” Church said with a face that screamed mother of god.

“Right... But Luna think of it like this. If we could keep Discord in check, then I think that we can keep a magicless oversized horned pegasus in check.” Tia said smirking before frowning. “But there is one problem. The elements can’t take her in because they are spread out. With Applejack and Fluttershy on earth, we can’t simply call them back. The transporting here is a rather time consuming effort. Luna, neither you or me can watch after her because of all the business we both need to take care of. And Discord would be of no help.”

“Okay seriously who is this Discord guy? I have only heard about him like... Three times.” I said confused. “And wait a minute. If you guys can’t take care of her.... And this Discord fellow is not gonna help. That only leaves...... Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Celestia said with a smirk.

“Oh god.” I said putting my face in my hands. That is when Nightmare decided to wake up. With a few grunts and a, somehow, adorable, fanged yawn, she drowsily looked at me, then Tia, then Luna before she realized what was going on.

“Oh no.” She whimpered out as she tried to move, but her binds held her in place. “Oh now that is just over compensating.”

“Yeah that is what I said.” I mumbled before Luna gave me a ‘look’ and Nightmare just sighed and gave a nervous... Very nervous smile.

“S-so? H-Have you m-made a decision?” She stuttered out. ‘Well that is one thing she gained from being her own being. Fear.’

“Yes we have, Nightmare.” Luna began with a forced smile. “We... Have decided to let you live and stay in Equestria.”

Nightmare’s face lit up instantly revealing her fangs. “Really!? Oh tha-”

“Don’t thank us just yet Nightmare.” Luna hissed making Nightmare cringe, she quickly untied Nightmare with her magic and let her drop to the ground from her legs having no blood in them yet. Nightmare let out a small whine of pain which made Luna snicker with delight. “No, you are going to be trained on the proper way to fit into society.”

“Alright. By who? You?” Nightmare asked with a bit of fear. Luna simply shook her head making Nightmare release a pent up breath. “Then who? Celestia?”

Tia shook her head. “Discord?”

Both Luna and Tia shook their heads. “Then who?”

Tia and Luna looked to me before Nightmare soon followed. “... You have to be kidding.”

“Oi. Shut up. I don’t like it anymore than you do.” I grumbled Luna simply nuzzled me in response before I sighed. “But! Since Luna and Tia are swamped with work and this Discord fellow is apparently too....”

“Chaotic sweetie.” Luna put in.

“Thank you, so yeah. That is why I volunteered to look after you.” I said.

“Plus!” Luna but in. “Since you, Slayer, are going to be helping her out and we can’t have her constantly leaving the castle... You are going to have to stay at the castle for a bit.”

“Is that for me, her... Or you?” I said with a smug grin that Made Luna blush before she punched me hard. “Oooooww.”

“Oh hush up.” Luna said.

“Anyway.” I said rubbing my shoulder. “... Yeah. I guess I will be helping put you back into society... And maybe! If we both can tolerate each other. This will go faster that we anticipated.”

“FUCKING EVERYTHING!” Church yelled out slamming the fridge door shut. “GAAAH! MY FINGER!”

“... Damn it Church. The first thing you say when you wake up.” I said facepalming while Nightmare was finally able to stand. “More importantly what do we do about her?”

“Well... Simple. We teleport all of us to the castle. Including you, Church.” Luna said looking to Church. “We need someone to watch Nightmare, so that if she tries to make a move on slayer again she won’t succeed.”

“FUUUUUUUCK!” Church yelled out.

“Oh don’t complain!... I have to deal with her!” I said pointing my thumb at Nightmare.

“Hey!... I am not that bad!”

“Oh quiet you, fool.” I said to her. Church just promptly flipped me off then waved the bird at me. “Well that was uncalled for.”

“I had a bad fucking morning!” Church said.

“It’s... Four in the afternoon.” I said looking at my watch.

“BAAAD MORNING!” Church said again.

“Oh shut up and grab a energy drink!” I yelled at him.

“YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, MOOOOM.” Church said.

“... Want me to put you in a timeout?” I said only half serious.

“....” Church just remained quiet before walking over to the fridge again and this time, grumbling. “Fucking Slayer and his stupid shit.”

“That’s it. Time out.” I said pointing to the room. “Go.”

“Fuck you! No! Go to hell!”

“Church! Don’t make me count to three!” I threatened.

“TEN.” Church yelled out.

“Oooooone.” I began.

“Fifty!” Church yelled.

“Twooooo.” I kept going.

“GO DIE!” Church muttered out angrily.

“Thre-” I began.

Then Church threw a bottle of liquid butter at me. “EAT BUTTER! THE LIQUID KIND!”

“I prefer it on my toast thanks.” I said ducking and letting the bottle smack into something else.... Well someone.

“Eeeeew! What is this!?” Nightmare whined out.

“Butter.” I said looked to Nightmare then back to Church. “Now Church just drink a energy drink and calm the fuck down.

“No fuck you! You can’t command me.” Church said as he took out a bread slice, he then took out the butter package. he then ripped the lid of and jabbed the toast in the roaster.

“... You’re not gonna do what I think you’re gonna do are you?” I asked.

Then the roaster ejected the slice of bread, which Church caught the slice mid air, before slamming it down on the counter and then grabbing the package of butter.

“You are so overdramatic. And you better not-” I began before he flipped the package and just pressed all the butter out on one piece of toast. “Oh you ass hole.”

He then picked it up and took a bite. “It’s tastes fucking buttery.”

“... That is gross.” Nightmare said sticking her tongue out disgusted.

“Oh for the love of.. Luna just get us out of here.” I said facepalming before Luna’s magic went ‘Pop’. Next thing I knew, we were in the middle of the dining hall with Cadance, Shining, that asshole blueprick, and... The strangest mixed n’ matched creature I have ever laid eyes on... Other than the platypus.

“... Hi?” I said questioningly.

“Oh so those are the two humans you and Tia talk about so much!” The strange mix-matched creature said.

“Hey... I smell hatred.” Nightmare said sniffing the air. Everyone simply looked at her. “What? I was made from hate. I’m sure as tartus know what it smells like.”

“Fucking butter.” Church grumbled loudly before taking another bite and chewing it quickly. “Fucking marble floor.”

“Oh that was it.” Nightmare said nodding. Everyone was still staring at her. “What?”

“Um... Aunt Luna? Why is Nightmare Moon in the middle of the Dining hall?” Cadance asked.

“Why do I feel as if shenanigans are about to happen?” The mix-matched creature said Then he flew... Yes flew over to me and held out his lion paw. “Names Discord by the way.”

“Oh... So you are that guy I am hearing so much about.” I said smiling and shaking his hand.

“You heard stuff about me? I am flattered!” Discord said smiling.

“Well... Mostly bad stuff.” I said cringing a bit.

“Aw.” He said deflating... No like literally deflating before his... airless? Corpse fell to the ground.

“The fuck?” I said looking at his body before a arm raised up and discord began to blow into his thumb making his body reinflate. “Well that’s new.”

“Also! I have heard stuff about you!” Discord said as he was... Normal again.

“Really?” I asked with genuine surprise.

“No, not really. Sorry.”

“Aw....” I whined.

“But I have heard about that guy... Who is currently glaring at blueblood and eating a small mound of butter.” Discord said looking at Church. “More importantly why is he almost exploding with chaotic energy?”

“I would say it would be because of a bad morn-” I began before Church suddenly stood up and dramatically threw his half eaten mound of butter toast directly at Blueblood. Who just looked at it just as it splattered all over his face. In that moment I did the only thing I could think.

I pointed at Blueblood and smiled. “Ha.”

Author's Notes:

HEEEEEY Everybody and pony! Sorry this took so long. Also...
I did this myself. except Church dialogue.