A/N:Tad bit of grim dark later in the chapter, but don't worry it is for something completely different. ;)

I was sitting on my couch and thinking of how I was going to avoid the whole ‘Being a virgin’ thing. ‘It’s not that bad right?’ I thought as I got up and went to my fridge. I grabbed a drink before going back to my game and beginning up a match.

I was too busy thinking about Church had said that I hadn’t noticed that Luna was up and about. Also being engrossed in my game wasn’t helping all that much either. Apparently, she had been trying to get my attention because when my game ended the side of my face was slightly wet and Luna was laying on my lap. I had apparently thought she was just a arm rest and rested my game remote on her back while playing the entire game.

“Um.... Luna how long have you been there?” I asked looking at her. She just smiled and scooted back a bit so she could nuzzle me.

“Oh about ten minutes. We tried to snap thee out of it, but you weren’t being cooperative, so we just laid here and waited.” She said nuzzling me again. I smiled and rubbed her back. ‘Explains why my cheek is wet.’

“That is sweet. Wait.... Is your speech changing?” I said setting my remote down and grabbing my drink. “You sound different.”

“Yes.... We have been trying to adjust. We have mostly gotten the speech pattern down, but anything that deals with addressing our self just doesn’t seem to stick.” Luna said huffing a bit. I just chuckled and pet her mane a bit.

“Ah it’s fine. Adds character.” I said taking a drink from my soda and setting it down. “By the way.... Are you ready for tonight?”

“Yes. Pray tell.... Where are we going?” She asked looking up at me as I looked for another game match to play.

“I don’t know. Might just be like a movie then a dinner at a random place. My dad showed me a nice diner..... But I think that is too far away from everything.” I said scratching my chin. “I wouldn’t get too gussied up is I am trying to say I guess.”

“Alright... Seems rather informal.” Luna said letting out a adorable yawn.

“Yeah mostly. I guess that in the future you could get me in a fancy suit and treat you out.” I said smirking as she blushed and let out another yawn. “Why are you so tired?”

“Last day of our heat. It’s doesn’t make us ‘horny’, as Church would say, it makes us very tired though.” Luna said laying her head back down. I smiled and turned off my game, so I could just watch something on the tele and pet Luna’s mane.

“Luna?” I asked. She let out a small hum and opened one eye to look at me. “How in Equestria do you get your mane so freaking soft?”

She giggled sleepily and lifted her head so she could nuzzle my hand. “Very special mane products. Imported and specially made. Even the flowing of our mane is merely an enchantment of the shampoo.”

“Huh..... That explains a lot.” I said as picked up the remote and changed the channel to something. “Nick, no.... Cartoon network, no..... Dr.Who?.... Why not.”

As I watched the good doctor go through his crazy antics with his companion, I just let my mind roam and let my hands gently continue to comb through Luna’s mane, which she was enjoying because as soon as I stopped talking she passed out.

“What if... Naw... It’s not that big of a deal is it? Can’t be....” I said out loud. I guess Lyra was sick of me talking to myself so she decided to but in.

“What’s a big deal?” Lyra said walking in and sitting on the chair. I sighed and looked back to the T.V.

“Nothing.” I stated and leaned back.

“Oh come on. You can tell me!” Lyra said.

“No I can’t really. You’ll just tease me and then somewhere along the line text Brony and Hank about it before telling random classmates.” I responded looking to her. Lyra’s flattened her ears and pouted.

“I would not.” She muttered.

“Yes.... Yes you would.” I said looking back at my T.V. “Besides why do you want to know?”

“Because your my friend, and it may not seem like it but, I want to help!” Lyra said almost complaining.

I sighed and looked to her. She was still pouting and looking at me. “Fine fine! Enough with you and your confounded faces!” I said holding up a hand to block her pouting face which had returned to normal.

“Sweet! Now spill!” She said.

“Alright, but if you tell anyone or anypony I am going to flip out, okay?” I said warningly. She nodded and I sighed again. “Alright. You know how Church is just making a big deal about me not having gotten laid yet?”

She nodded. “Well I was just thinking about it... That’s it.” I said plainly.

“That’s it?” Lyra said sounding disappointed. I nodded this time. “Okay not only is this not that big of a deal, but you’re just worrying too much. I mean it’s not like you had chances before and didn’t take them.”

I shifted a little and chuckled nervously. “Yeah about that....”

“Of for the love of- Really?! Okay be truthful, how many times had it happened?” Lyra said leaning forward.

“Um..... Twice... Maybe three times.” I said using my free hand to rub the back of my head.

“Oh my gosh... That is bucking ridicuous.” Lyra said using a hoof to massage her temple. “Alright.... Alright alright, I am assuming you had a good reason each time?”

“First one no, last two yes.” I said thinking back. “First time was woman passed out on the way to the bedroom and the last two were family emergencies.”

Then as if to prove a point my phone beeped signaling a text. I looked at my pocket which had about a hundred pounds of Luna on top of it and me with no way to get to it. I sighed and gently lifted Luna a bit, so I could grab my phone and I gently laid her down after grabbing said phone. Checking my messages, I found myself a little confused.

“Um... Wow.” I said rereading the text. Lyra just tilted her head.

“What? What is it?” Lyra asked trying to lean over to see the message.

“It’s from my parents. Apparently.... I am getting a little bro.” I said looking up from my phone. “They are gonna be here later today to let me see him.”

“ Aren't you going to tell them you have a date later?” Lyra said while I shook my head.

“Do you know how rude that would be? I will just ask when they’ll be here and I will see if I can’t see him.” I said texting back just that. I soon got a reply and sighed in relief. “Oh thank god they will be here in thirty minutes..... WAIT WHAT!?”

My little outburst woke Luna up a bit, but she went back to sleep. I shook my head a little and then began to text back for details. After a few minutes, I had gotten most of the details.

“Alright so here is what is going on..... My parents found him wandering the streets. He was alone hungry and had no family. He didn’t like people or ponies regardless, but when my mom show him some affection he practically leapt at her.... And they don’t know what kind of pony he is.” I summed up.

“That sounds vaguely familiar... Like I have heard of something like that before.” Lyra said rubbing her head. “Like something that was here and then forcefully removed. Something..... Eeeeeeeevvvviiiiilllll.”

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something, but what do I care? I am gonna get a new little bro too, I guess!” I said happily. Lyra just kept thinking about it until she got up and left to her room.

I just continued to watch Dr. Who until I began to get hungry. With my stomach growling, I gently lifted and wiggled out from under Luna. After grabbing a box of Hot Pockets and heating them, I walked back to the couch when I heard the door being knocked on.

“Come in! Door’s unlocked!” I yelled sitting back down next to Luna. She shifted a little bit before crawling onto my legs a little. As I began to eat the delicious meat and cheese filled bread, the door opened up and I saw my brothers, mom, and dad. “Hey guys! Food’s in the fridge if you want something to eat.”

They just chuckled and walked over before raising an eyebrow at me. I followed their gazes until I saw Luna snoring softly. I shook my head and flipped them off right as my mom looked at me and then I got scolded by said mother.

“You know I don’t like that.” She said walking over holding something in her arms. I just shook my hand and flipped my brothers off again while my mom wasn’t looking at me.

“Well.... Fine, but tell them to stop being mean to me!” I said throwing my arms in the air like a child. Luna just shifted a bit and gently swatted at me.

“Mmph no, we don’t want plasma with our hand grenade...” She said turning a bit before burying her muzzle into my shirt. My mom just let out a small d’aw and then let Luna go back to sleep before talking.

“Well would you like to see your new brother?” My mother said. I nodded and was about to get up until I looked down. “Oh right... Well here you go.”

She got up and walked over to me before showing me what was in her arms. At first I thought it was a giant bug, but when I looked closer, I saw a small pony-bug-holed legged-unicorn-thing.... Was odd to say the least.

“Alright other than the fact that he looks like a bug, he is adorable!” I said looking at him. The small guy just shifted a little before my mom began to hand him to me. “Wait wait I don’t want to ho-”

“Too late!” My mom said placing the little guy in my arms and I am not kidding when I say that I am already loving this little guy. I smiled while my mom smirked.

“Well what is he?” I asked. My mom was about to answer until Lyra ran out and yelled.

“A CHANGELING!! That was it-..... What is that?” Lyra said pointing to the little guy in my arms. I chuckled at Lyra’s random outburst and handed the little guy back to my mom. As she took him back, she walked over to Lyra and kneeled down to show her.

“Well this little guy...” My mom began as she showed Lyra the weird bug-pony-thing. “.. Is someone we found on the street and we decided to adopt him.”

Lyra took one look at the small guy and, Quite literally, flew into the wall behind her pointing a hoof at the small pony in my mother’s arms. “Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-CHANGELING...” Lyra finally said after pointing.

“Wut?” I said looking over to Lyra. Lyra just bolted past my mom and hid behind my back. ‘This.... Is very uncomfortable.’ “Um Lyra? Your horn is digging into my spine.”

She just shifted a little bit before looking over my shoulder at the changeling in my mom’s arms. ‘Da fuq is a changeling?’ I thought as I reached around my back and grabbed Lyra.

“Okay Lyra I don’t know what the hell you’re freaking out, but if you’re worried about him doing anything I have an argument that may help.” I said pulling her out and setting her next to me. “Two things actually. One: If he wanted to hurt anyone he would have done it by now.... And two:... He is just a kid.”

Lyra stopped and looked back at the changeling. He was only a kid because you could quite honestly tell. If his size didn’t tell you that he was probably only a year or two old, then the fact that his small insect wings and underdeveloped horn were present, that should be the clincher right there. ‘Then again I know nothing of these “Changelings”.’

Lyra looked for a few minutes before sighing and laying down on the couch. “I guess you’re right.... But I would be carefull. I still don’t trust those things.” Lyra said getting up and walking back to her room.

“Huh....” By big brother started. “... No racism my bipedal ass.”

We all burst into laughter for a few minutes until I thought I might as well get up. Plus my legs were starting to falls asleep. I moved Luna onto the couch before walking over to the fridge and grabbing another drink before opening it and chugging half the drink.

“Jeez Slayer. You really that thirsty?” he said as I put the drink down. I nodded and sipped at the rest of the soda.

“When you’re stuck under a pony all day with nothing to do other than play video games, you’re gonna get a bit dehydrated.” I said before walking over to the door.

“Hey where you goin’?” My brother asked as I opened the door.

“Well... A: I need to tell my friend. And B: I need to tell my friend.” I said as I walked out the door and knocked on Church’s door. “Church make your self decent! I am coming in!”

I heard scrambling behind the door. “Wait! WAAIT! TEASE IT! TEEEASE IT!” I heard Church yell.

“Da fuq?” I said as I opened the door and walked in. “Church what the hell are yo-...”

“HOLY SHIT IT WORKED!” Church exclaimed as he dropped one of his controllers staring wide eyed on at the T.V. I blinked and walked over.

“What worked, exactly?” I said nudging him with my elbow.

“Check the score screen.” Church said as he turned to me with wide eyes. “Just look at it.”

I looked to the scoreboard on the screen and saw that he had 43 Kills and only 1 death. “Nice. But why are you so wide-eyed? And where is Tia? I have something I need to tell you guys.” I said looking around.

“Oh why I’m wide eyed? Triple kill in less than two seconds? Oh and Celly went back to the castle. She doesn’t have time for Ol’ Churchy no more.... Actually she had business to attend to.”

“Ah....” I said leaning back. “Well Want to come meet my new lil’ bro?”

“That reminds me.... Does the dorm’s allow dogs?” Church asked rasing a eyebrow.

“I don’t think so, but who gives a crap? My teacher Fluttershy has like fifty of the animals. I am sure you could ask her for one or something and she would just tell whoever asked that it was a project. She is really sweet like that.” I said smiling and finishing off my soda.

“Oh goodie! Hey Slobber puss! You can stop hiding!” Church yelled towards his room.

“Slobber puss?” I said looking to his room. “Who the hell is Slobber puss?”

“Oh its my dog.” Church said as he looked towards his room, after a few short seconds a dog came trotting through. By the looks of it its a siberian husky.

“Huh..... Why am I not surprised?” I said looking to Church.

“Come here girl!” Church said as he patted his lap. At first the dog sat down and tilted her head at him. But then she practically leaped at him before laying down in his lap. “Well... That depends, come sit beside me in the couch.”

“Alright...” I sat down next to him and leaned back. “Okay now what?”

“Attack!” Church said to his dog who just got up out of his lap and launched itself at me before starting to lick my face.

“AUGH!!! I am being molested by the dog!!!” I yelled as tried to get Slobber off me with little to none success. Church laughed at me before saying

“Oh by the way, Slobber puss is just a nickname.... Since.... Uh yeah... She drools a lot when she is affectionate.... Her real name is Sita.” Church said with a huge grin on his face.

“I can see that!” I said finally pushing Sita off me. “That was.... Not what I expecting when I came over here to get you.”

I took part of my shirt and wiped the saliva off my face before sighing. “So you want to see my little bro or what?”

“Huh? You got a little bro all of a sudden?” Church asked surprised and confused.

“Hey look I am as confused as you, but he is pretty cool.” I said standing up. “Come on I’ll show ya!”

Church sighed and got up. He then looked down at Sita who was just sitting there and panting happily.

“Weeeell? What are you waiting for Slobber? Move.” Church said as he looked down, Sita just sat there with what I would call a giant evil grin on her face. Church sighed out of annoyance before bending down and picking her up.

“Come on lets go.” Church said a little bit annoyed

“Alright, but before we go let me just warn you.... He is not exactly what you’re going to be expecting.” I said walking out the door and opening up my dorm. “Pretty much don’t freak out.”

“Okay...” Church said as he carried Sita and himself over to me “I mean it can’t be all that bad right?”

“Yeah keep that thought in mind.” I said as I walked in and sat back on the couch next to Luna, who just crawled back into my lap. “Hey mom would you mind showing my friend, Church, there my new little bro?”

She nods and walks over and shows him the bundle in her arms. “Here he is!” Mom said happily.

Church looked at the bundle before getting his face full of saliva. “Oh come on.” He said as he looked at Sita in his arms, he then put her down on the floor. She started whining for a few seconds before trotting over to my couch, jumped up on it, and curling up.

“Well... Let’s see what you have in your arms miss...?” Church started

“Broman.” Mom replied. “And just call me mom. Everyone does.”

“This.... Is going to be awkward as fu-” Church again started.

“Church.... Language around my mom.” I said quickly as I ran my hand through Luna’s mane..

“Okay....” Church said as he took a deep breath. “This is going to take all of my restraints to handle but... Here goes.” He looked down at the small bundle in my mom’s arms. He was quiet for a few seconds before asking

“What is that?” Church said with a clear look of confusion on his face. “It looks like..... Black stuff?” ‘*Snicker* Racist.’ I thought.

I face palmed at Church while my mom just giggled and held out the bundle. “Hold this for me and I will get him out so you can see him better.”

“Hoookay. If you say so …. Miss broman.” Church said with some strain in his voice. She just smiled and handed him the blanket before reaching into it and pulling out the small insect-po-... Changeling and showing him.

“There. Now can you see him?” She said holding the little guy like a puppy.

Church just stared at the in-... Changeling before blowing air into his mouth causing his cheeks to inflate. He held his stare for a few seconds before throwing his arms in the air and running out of my room repeating some weird gibberish “Wubidywuubwob!” could be heard from down the hall before he turned around.

He came sprinting back and popping his head through the door “He’s cute and all... but not for me, SITA LETS GO!” Church said as he gave out a small whistle. Sita just got up from the couch and ran after Church.

We all stood there confused for a while before Church came through with a bag through the door.

“Church what the hell is wrong with you?” I asked as Luna just shifted a bit before snoring lightly again.

“It looked …. Creepy at first glance, and my instinct told me to run... So I did.” Church said as he put down the bag on the counter and took out some food.

“Riiiiight...... Still. That was a bit of... I don’t know what.” I said getting up. “What the heck are you doing now?”

“Taking out my food?” Church said as he held a white foam container in his hands and looking at me. “There is some for you too....”

“Um.... K? I think some of my brain cell commited suicide because of that little scene of yours.” I said walking over while my mom was just cooing at the little guy. “Hey mom have you thought of a name for him?”

“Actually. We have! I though of a few names, but Rhino over there had to say ‘No! They have to be a pony name!’.” Mom mocked as I saw my brother blush a bit. “So we tossed around a few more names and we came up with Evo!”

“Evo....” I said looking at ‘Evo’.”I like it. How about you Church?”

“Isn’t Evo short for Evolution?” Church said as he had narrowed his eyes and holding a french fry in the air, inspecting it.

“Um.... I guess so. Why?” I said opening up one of the containers to see a Bacon Burger with some fries next to it. “Where did you find a bacon burger?”

“Haven’t you noticed right after you exit the courtyard through the main gate. Look directly to the right and you can see both a convenient store and a restaurant.... Oh and a bar, except that place is like opposite side of the place.” Church explained as he gave a fry to his dog.

“Huh..... Well I ain’t complaining.” I said taking a bite out of the burger and enjoying the taste of bacon, beef, and whatever else was put on it. I swallowed my food and looked to my mom. “But yes mom. That is a great name.”

“Wonderful! Because you will be babysitting tonight!” She said while I choked on my food. I turned around quickly and almost glared at her.

“WHAT!?” I damn near screamed. “I can’t do that tonight! I have a date planned!” I saw that Church were sneakily trying to exit my dorm with his foam container and dog. “Oi! You get back here!”

“Damn it.” Church muttered as he turned around and walked back to his seat.

“Yeah you better stay there....” I turned back to my mom. Have I ever told you guys about how my mom can be a ninja when she wants to? Because when I looked at her she had already placed Evo in my arms and was walking out the door with my bros. “Wait mom! MOM!!..*Slam*... FUCK. Damn my mother and her ninja skills.”

I looked to back and saw that Church was no longer sitting there. “Oh for crying out loud.”

“Church get back here.” I said to no one particular. “I need some help here.”

I heard a faint panting coming from the my room. “Son of a....”

I just walked over and opened my door to see a tail sticking out from under the bed. “Church..... Get out of there.”

“Ssssch Quiet Slo- No no stop it! Stop! You will make him discover us!” Church whispered through quiet laughs.

I shook my head and looked down at Evo. He had curled up and was using one of his little legs to grab my arm. ‘D’aaaw..... Hmm.... Maybe?’ I thought as I walked to the back of the bed and knelt down. “Well I guess he isn’t here.... Maybe he left with my ma. It’s a good thing that I left Arrowhead under my bed.... Maybe I should consider feeding him. Naw I am sure he’ll find something to eat.”

As soon as I finished that I heard load of scrambling before both Sita and Church were on my bed. Church was gripping his chest where his heart would be he looked to me and said “Fuck you.”

“Next time don’t leave when I need help.” I said with a shit eating grin. Arrow actually was under the bed, unsurprisingly, and he slithered up my pant leg and onto my shoulder. “I love snakes. Anyway, I need some help here.”

“I hate babysitting!” Church said and got a happy bark as a agreement from his dog. “See even Sita here hates it!”

“Look, I will do all the babysitting all you have to do is sit there and do nothing.... You know. Like usual.” I said walking back into the living room.

I then heard bouncing.... like someone bouncing on my bed. “Stop jumping on my bed! I don’t want the mattress ruined.” I said as I sat on the couch again.

“But I waaant to jump!” Church whined as he kept jumping, after a short while a bark came too.

“Church! I am babysitting my bro, not you!” I yelled causing Luna to wake up a bit.

“What is with all the yelling?” She said burying her head into the cushions.

I heard some faint whispering after the bouncing stopped. ‘Those two are planning something.’

“Okay if you two aren’t out of their in two minutes I am dragging you out.” I said putting Evo next to Luna. Luna just put a wing over him reflexively and went back to sleep. “Come one you two! Come on out!”

All of a sudden I saw something white zip quickly through the door and I felt something crash into my chest. With almost no air in my lungs all I could get out was.

“Ow....” I noticed how wet my face was getting... From a certain dog.

“That’s a good doggie!” Church said as he walked over and sat down next to his dog before scratching her behind the ears.

“I can’t breath.” I said gasping a bit before pushing Sita off me. “You better hope I don’t become sadistic enough to actually sick Arrowhead on you.” I said. Arrow just hissed to prove my point.

“That’s cruel man.” Church said as we suddenly had a loud bark and then growling from his dog, who looked extremely aggressive.

“Oh.... Well Might as well let go of Sita now, I mean she don’t see your snake as a threat right now... So she won’t attack at all.” Church said with sarcasm in his voice

“Yeah yeah. Whatever..... Hey you’re leaning against Luna you know that right?” I said sitting back up.

“Yeah she can take it.” Church said with a sick smile on his face.

“Yeah.... get off her. You’re also leaning against Evo.” I said pointing to the littel black holled leg sticking out from under Church.

“Hooo.... That’s uh... bad “ Church said as he stopped leaning against Luna and walked over to sit next to his dog. I rolled my eyes and lifted Luna’s wing and picked up Evo. He stretched a bit before sighing and curling up again.

“He’s fine. Now I need to ask you something..... Do you know anything about changelings?” I asked as I put Evo in my lap.

“Other than what the royal archives got?” Church asked back

I let out a fake gasp and stared at Church. “YOU READ!? Fascinating.” I said placing a hand on my chin.

Church let out a laugh before looking at me with a small smile “Oh you know me... How otherwise could I solve my math problems?”

“Copying other people?” I suggested with a grin.

“That does not count!” Church shot back with a fake pout.

“Oh pshaw.... Anyway, you know about changelings?” I said looking to him before looking back to Evo.

Church got up and walked over to me before pulling out a small tablet from one of his pockets. He then pressed a App that said Equestrian archives. It requested a login which he quickly typed in and when finally started up the app it said ‘Welcome back Church, what would you like to edit today?’

“Wait, how can you edit things in that app? I thought you needed to be the creator for that. Or a moderator.” I asked Church who just gave me a deadpanned look.

“Have you tried reading who created it?”

“Nnnnnope!” I said grinning.

He quickly pulled up a list of credits and sure enough Under the creator label was Lenoard Alpha.
He kept staring at me for a few seconds and grinned like a fool.

“When did you have the time or patience to do this?” I asked as I saw Evo waking up.

“Oh you know.... When someone thought it would be funny to lock me inside the archives for two days.” Church said glaring at me.

“Hey you stole my Dr. Pepper. I told you I was having a bad day. AND I already said I was sorry!” I said watching Evo yawn and stretch.

“Anyways here.” Church said as he handed me the tabled who had a article open about Changelings. “Oh and keep the tablet. I have a spare one in my room somewhere. I’ll find it.”

“Um... Thanks. Now! Time to read!” I said as I began to study the article. Evo was too busy looking around to notice me while I read and since I was so engrossed in my reading I didn’t notice him hopping off my lap and onto the floor. “Huh..... Ew... They make cocoons? Like spiders? Ugh Church is not going to like that.”

“Hmm” Church groggily hummed as he looked around “You said something?”

“Huh? Oh nothing nothing.... Wait why are my legs cold?” I looked down and saw Evo was gone. “Oh Evo is gone.... WAIT EVO IS GONE!?”

“What the fu-” Church said as he nearly shot up out of the chair he had fallen asleep in but kept himself down since his dog were in his lap. “What the fuck man?! Stop with the yelling! I mean you woke up Luna!”

“We thought we said to stop the yelling. But thou apparently likes to disregard our requests.” Luna said groggily and rubbed one of her eyes.

“Luna I can’t calm down!! I can’t fin-...” I stopped when I felt something bump into my legs. I looked down to see Evo sitting on his haunches looking up at me. “OH thank god...”

I picked him up and Luna just looked at me curiously. “Oh sorry. My mom apparently thought it would be a good idea to adopt a pony and then leave him with me.I get very protective sometimes.” I shrugged and sat on the couch while Luna stared at Evo.

“Slayer.... Why doth Thou have a changeling in thee’s arms?” Luna said looking as if she was about to freak out. I scooted back a bit and looked at Evo before looking back to Luna

“Well... He is who my mum adopted. She found him wandering the streets and took him in. Decided I would be a good babysitter.” I explained. Luna just stood up and walked over to the door before saying goodbye and teleporting away. “..... Da fuq that was about?”

And again, I looked to my right and saw that Church was no longer there nor his dog. “Mother fu-... CHURCH! Get in here! I really need an explanation!” I yelled towards my room. “AND STOP JUMPING ON MY BED IF YOU’RE DOING IT!”

I heard some loud whispering “Sita! How the fuck did we manage to get in here?” there was a quiet whine as a reply... It came from the kitchen area. “Damn it Church. Seriously! Get in here! Luna did that weird thing were she goes all quiet and leaves.”

“Shit! Has he discovered us?” Church quietly asked Sita. Who just licked Church’s face instead.

“No I di- Stop it! it tickles damn it.” Church said quietly..

“Church get out here or next time Tia makes a advancement on me, I will plunder her booty.” I said staring at the kitchen.

All of a sudden I heard lots of pots, and other things that were in my cupboards fall out. “But I thought you were a virgin!” Church said as he stood up quickly with a horrified expression on his face.

“What’s with the face?” I said pointing at him.

“Slobber puss.” Church said as he looked down at Sita.

“Ah... To answer your question, Yes, but that don’t mean I can’t do it.” I said grinning evilly.

“Well thats funny... You can’t even make a move on Luna!” Church said as he picked up Sita.

“Hey you said it yourself to do a one night stand to get laid.” I said while shrugging.

“Well.... wait.” Church said as he put down his dog and whiped out his phone “Jello?”

“May I inquire whom is calling you at this hour?” I said in a british accent.

“What was that? Shield... your.. ey-” Church said before a loud crack and a flash appeared in the middle of my room. There stood Luna and a rather angry looking Tia.

“Care to explain Slayer?” Tia said with venom dripping of her words. I gulped slightly and gave nervous chuckle.

“Um... Explain what exactly?” I said shaking a bit.

“Oh.... I don’t know, maybe the fact that you are HARBORING A CHANGELING? Does that make any sense?!” Tia yelled furiously as she walked closer to me.

“U-uh... W-well that is easy to explain.” I said backing up a bit.

“WELL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!” Tia yelled using her Royal Canterlot voice.

I whimpered slightly and sat up. “W-well you see... My mom was walking around with my family when she saw this little guy cowering. She helped him and then brought him over here. She introduced us and let Evo in my care until she came back.” I said shivering like crazy now and holding onto Evo for my dear life.

“He should be banished back to the Hive!” Tia said as she almost was up in my face. Then Church, of all the people decided, to intervene.

“Celestia, calm the fuck down!” He yelled as he put a hand on her shoulder. She immediately spun around and faced him.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN?! HOW COULD I CALM DOWN?! WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING UNTIL I HEAR FROM MY BABY SISTER!” Tia yelled at Church.

“What the fuck?! NOW YOU’RE SHIFTING THE BLAME TO ME?!” Church yelled back. I began to get pissed myself, but for a entirely different reason than those two. You see I have this small fear of yelling. Not like when ever anyone yells I freak out, but when family and friends yell. I snap.

“OKAY BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.” I yelled standing up and facing both of them with my eye slightly twitching.

They both faced me at the same time before Church backed up a bit and holding up his hands.
Tia just glared furiously at me. I just glared back and walked up to her.

“Tia I don’t give a five fingered firey flying fuck about what you have against changelings, but I am telling you now. You try and touch Evo... I am going to hurt you.” I said glaring even harder than before. “So if you want to ‘banish’ him then go ahead, but you’re gonna have to get through me first.”

Just as I finished that sentence, I felt myself getting pushed back... Very quickly until I landed in the arms of Luna.

“Get out of my face.” Tia growled before facing Church again who was standing with his back against the wall and was leaning.

“Got anything to say for yourself?!” Tia growled at Church who just took out his phone.

“Its way too fucking early for this. It’s almost past fucking midnight. I’m out! Come girl” Church said as he whistled a bit before storming through the door with Sita.

“Nice Church... Nice.” I mumbled before walking to my room still holding onto Evo with a death grip. “I am taking a lesson from him and going to bed. Goodnight you two.”

“Come on Luna, let’s go.” Tia said with a dissapointed sigh.

“Tia...” I said turning around.

“What?” She growled “You going to throw us out now?”

“Actually I was going to say there is a spare room and the couch, but......” I answered scratching the back of my head.

“You know what... I do feel pretty tired, I’m borrowing your couch then.” Tia said as she walked over to my couch.

“Um... Alright then. I was going to also say you could take my bed.... I guess that works too.... Night.” I said waving and walking back to my room. “Hey Luna you gonna join me?”

Luna looked at Tia before nodding and walking over to me. I smiled as she walked into my room and I looked to Tia whom was still giving me the evil eye. I sighed and walked over to her and sat in the chair next to her.

“Tia... Why are you so pissed off?” I asked as I kept my grip on Evo.

“Because you are harboring a changeling?” She scowled “And that Church is a deserter.”

“Well I understand Church. But not the other thing. I am not going to really ask because I have the awful feeling it would end up with me in the hospital, but I am going to suggest something alright?” I said shifting in my seat a bit.

“What?” She growled.

“Well first drop your four year old pissy attitude....” I said receiving another growl. “And I am going to make you a deal. I am going to leave Evo in here with you-”

“Yeeah?” Tia said a bit passive angry

“And I want you to watch him and play with him while I sleep. When I wake up I will come back and get him. If by the time I come to get him you still think that he should be ‘banished’ then fine. I will tell my mother that she has to give up her child and you can take him. Deal?”

“Fine.” She said before burying her head in the cushion.

“Oi.... You have to watch him.” I said before, reluctantly, putting Evo next to her. “Oh and I forgot to mention. If he is gone when I wake up... You are going to have something bad coming after you. And no it’s not a threat..... It’s a fucking promise.”

I gave her a smile and went back to my room before walking in and laying next to luna.

‘Stupid little runt.’ I thought as I felt the disgusting creature press against me. I moved it away with my hoof and layed my head back down. It just kept coming back though. ‘Never gonna get sleep am I?’

I sat up and saw the small creature just staring back up at me. I just shook my head and used a little magic to put him on the chair next to the couch. “What does he even see in you? You’re an insect for Luna’s sake. A disgusting, love sucking, wretched insect.”

“Gwaaah!” Evo said as he held up his fore-hooves and wanted a hug from me.

“No, you little cretin.” I said to him and turned him around with magic.

He quickly turned around and held up his fore-hooves with a smile on his little tiny incest face.
“Bllrrpp.”

I turned back to him and shook my head. “NO. I know what you are doing.” I said moving away from him. “You’re just trying to steal my love and news flash Evo... I don’t love you.”

“Honk.” Evo blurted out as he pressed with both of his fore-hooves against his nose. It was actually almost enough to get a giggle out of me, but I threw out the impulse and turned away from him.

“Stop. Just go to bed you little... Word.” I said trying not to use any bad language. ‘I must stop picking up Church’s habits.’

“Nyaaaah.” Evo said as I felt something at my side. I looked down and saw him pressing his hooves against my side while he was smiling.

“No. Get away.” I said pushing away and scooting towards the other side of the couch.

“Meeeh!” Evo cried out as I scooted away, he crawled towards me with a half distressed look on his face.

“No. Stay away from me, you insect.” I hissed at him and pushed him away.

“Gnaaah!” He cried out even louder as he crawled towards me again.

“I said to stop!” I growled and pushed him back to the other side of the couch. “How did you even get off the chair anyway!?”

Thats when evo jumped and floated for a few brief seconds with his little wings fluttering rapidly before landing in front of me.

“Oh. Still stay away before I squish you like a fly.” I threatened and pushed him away again. But this time he grabbed on and snuggled in on my foreleg. “No get off!”

I shook my leg for a few minutes to try and get him off, but didn’t succeed. He was stuck there like glue and was laughing. “Let go.” I hissed at him.

“Myaaah!” He squealed out before looking up and smiling at me.

“What is wrong with you!? You don’t even act like a changeling!” I said using my other hoof to push him off. “Why do you insist on being near me?”

“Bleh.” He said as I saw he had some fur on his tongue and he obviously did not like the taste. He held out his tongue at me.

“Stop that!” I said as I tried to suppress a giggle. “Why do you even have fur in your mouth!?”

On closer inspection I saw that it was white fur. “Were you eating my hoof?” I said looking to see a small patch of fur was gone from the edge of my hoof.

“Bleeh!” He said again as he held out his tongue at me

“What do you want me to do?” I said leaning my head down to look at him properly.

He then took a fore-hoof and pointed at his tongue. He then took his hoof and pressed it against my nose.

“Boop” He said before going back to “Bleeh!”

I shook my head and used a little magic to clear the fur from his mouth before leaning back up and sighing. “Now may I sleep?”

“Mmh!” Evo said with half closed eyes and was lying near my leg.

“Oh you want to sleep next to me?” I said laying down and looking at him.

There was a light snore from Evo. ‘The bug fell asleep on me.’ I thought. I lifted him up and put Evo onto the chair before getting comfortable. With a sigh, I began to fall asleep. Before I could actually sleep, I was awoken by a high pitched whine. I lifted my head and saw Evo was shaking on the chair while whimpering ever so slightly. I shook my head and buried my head back into the cushions. ‘You don’t care.... He is a changeling. You don’t care...’ I thought, but sadly my instincts would not let me leave him there.

With a reluctant sigh, I levitated him over to my side and draped part of my wing over him. He almost instantly stopped shivering and even somewhat snuggled into my side. I stared at him for a while before realizing that I was smiling. ‘...... Oh bugger me.’ I thought as I knew what was going to happen in the morning.

I stretched and yawned as I looked around. Luna was laying by my side and smiling with snoring softly. I shook my head and got out of bed before grabbing some clothes and heading towards my bathroom. After a quick shower and changing into my jeans and blue T-shirt, I walked over to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine.

“Wait what am I doing?... I don’t drink coffee.” I said I shook my head before walking out of my dorm and over to Church’s dorm before knocking. “Church! I made coffee!”

I waited before knocking again. “Come on! I know you are in there!”

I had a weird feeling that something was terribly wrong. My hand hovered over the handle before I put my hand on it and opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked.

“Church... I swear to god if you have Sita waiting for me, I am going to pour the coffee onto your crotch.” I said walking inside. I looked around and found no one, the kitchen was clean.

The living room was empty with a controller dropped on the floor, The studio was off.... That means, I rushed over to the his room and flung the door open. It was empty and the bed was made from yesterday.

“Okay what da fuq is going on?” I said looking around. I back out and saw a note on the coffee table.... Which I did not notice before. “Huh.... Why am I blind?... Oh yeah.”

I hesitated to open this one because of all the bad memories I’ve had opening unknown notes. I gently opened the note and began to read.

Dear Slayer. Or whoever the fuck opened this note.

This is Church, You know your old trusty pal, Yeah... I’m Currently on the road somewhere or in the woods... Don’t bother contacting me I left my phone here at my dorm, I took Sita and just went for a walk.... For a week or Two. Oh and If I don’t come back you get my loot.

P.S. Tried to take my life, Just couldn’t do it with Sita watching.
P.P.S Take care of my dorm! It’s a Treasure! Yarr!

“Greeeeeeeeat. I thought we fixed that shit.” I just folded up the note and put it in my pocket before walking back to my dorm and locking up Church’s dorm. I walked over to Tia, who was sleeping with Evo curled up underneath her wing. I smiled evilly and grabbed my phone before taking a picture. After getting my photo I tapped her on the wing.

“Tia wake up...” I said gently.

“Noooo.” She cooed in her sleep.

“Tiiiia...” I said shaking her a bit. “Come on get up.”

“Whaaat? Get away Slayer.” Tia said as she waved a dismissive hoof.

“Tia get up or I will do something drastic.” I said crouching down.

Celestia slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes. “What is it Slayer?”

“Well A: Church is gone and thought you might want to go find him. And B:..... I won.” I gave her a shit-eating grin before picking up Evo.

“What was A, again?” Tia asked as she yawned a bit.

“Church is gone... Here is his note.” I pulled it out and put it next to her. “I would go find him. If I had to guess.... Look at the nearest club or somewhere that he might enjoy. I made coffee by the way.”

That’s when Lyra burst through the dorm door. “Church has left Canterlot! I mean really left!”

“And you know this how?” I asked going to the kitchen.

“I saw him stand and talk to one of the guard gates.... I thought he just was going to take a walk around the mountain like he always does.... But when he did not come back after thirty minutes I knew something was wrong... So I asked the guard and she said he was leaving for good.” Lyra said a bit saddened.

“And things just get worse....” I say facepalming. “Okay fuck this. I am getting my coat and YOU-” I say pointing to Tia. “-Are going to help me find him. I swear that guy is gonna give me a heart attack.”

I walked over to the coat rack and grabbed my trench coat before walking over to Tia. I handed Evo to Lyra and sighed. “Just say I left and went to go help someone. Alright Tia let’s go.”

Tia was sitting there with tears in her eyes before saying “This is all my fault.”

“OH just shut up with the pity party.” I said walking over and helping her up. “Crying isn’t going to help get him back. Now let’s go.” I said nudging her. “Now come on... Commence with the teleporting.”

She teleports us and we land on some dirt road while I fall to the ground and retch. After a minute of gagging and dry heaving, I finally get up and begin to walk. “Okay I after this... I am never teleporting again.” I said putting a hand on my stomach. “Okay come on. Let’s go find Church.”

We began to walk along the road and to be honest, if I wasn’t trying to find my depressed friend, I would be enjoying the scenery. As we walked for a few more minutes, I found a few dusty tracks.

“Okay either those are shoes or something is just trying to fuck with us.” I said pointing to the tracks. “So either we are getting closer or.... Or.. is that a town?”

I pointed over to a small town in the distance and sighed. “I swear to god Church... If you are just chilling somewhere..... I am going to hurt you.”

We continue to walk and Tia changes herself into a white pegasus with a pink mane. As we arrive at the town, you can almost feel the town’s cheeriness seeping out of the road and walls of the town.

“Where..... Are we?“ I asked.

“Ponyville.... Where most of your teachers live.... During the holidays.” Celestia answered.

“Oh god that means....” I start before I am tacked by a rainbow blur. “MOTHER FUCK!! My spleen!!”

Ms. Dash was just laughing as I groaned and picked myself up. “Ow.... Why me?”

“Because Church managed to dodge it.” She said.

“Oh really? Did he also do..” I leaped and tackled her into the snow. “THAT!?.... Wait you saw Church?”

“Oh yeah. He’s on top of the library, He have built some small platform up there and is sitting up there with a huge umbrella and a sun chair... Oh and a table too.... With a dog...”

“That... MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!.” I yelled before getting up and running into town before stopping. I slumped and walked back and leaned against the wall. “Can you show me where that library is?”

“Uh sure.... Follow me.” Ms. RD said before flying ahead a bit.

“Right. Come on Sunny!” I said gesturing to Tia. Ms. Dash led us around for a bit until we finally found the library. “A giant tree..... A giant..... Tree. Is the library... That is so cheesy.”

I heard barking from on top of the tree “Stop it Slobber puss!”

“And there is my friend. Hey Ms.Dash can you give me a lift? I need to kill my friend.” I said looking up.

“Kill him? why?” Ms. Dash said looking confused.

“Because that jerk made me and his marefriend worry about him like crazy and here he is relaxing in a tree.” I said grinding my teeth a bit. Ms. Dash just shrugged and grabbed my hands before flying me up and onto the tree platform. She gently let me go and I landed with a small *Thud*

“Church... I am going to kill you.” I said as I stood up.

Before I could see him though I saw his dog sit there with a huge evil smile on her face.”Sita..... No. Don’t you dare.” I said pointing a finger at her.

But since she doesn’t listen to anyone but Church she jumped at me and drooled all over my face.

“AUGH SITA SPIT!!!” I yelled as I pushed the dog off me and wiped my face off. “Your evil Sita...”

Then I saw that Church was standing on a plank that was over deep snow... and he was facing us.

“Hi guys!” He said in a cheery voice.

“Churchy!” Tia aka Sunny said almost crying her heart out right there. But right before she tackled him he sidestepped.

Tia fell right down into deep snow and probably was freezing her ass off. “Church! YOU FUCKER.” I said as ran towards him and tried to tackle him, but I made the mistake and bent down in waist level. So he just did a leap frog over me.
I skidded to a stop right at the edge and waved my arms out. “Woah woah!! Okay... Better.”

“Aaaand Push!” Church said as he pushed me.

“Augh!” I began to fall. “Shit shit shit YOU FUCK!!” Then I fell right into the snow pile. I climbed out and shook myself free of the snow and shivered a bit. “Church I am goin’ to-”

“Backflip!” Church said as he did a backflip down into the snow. after he landed it took ten seconds before he came up and yelled. “BEST VACATION EVER! Lets get Hank and Brony, Lyra and Luna here!” He quickly climbed out of the snow and shook of the snow.

I shook my head and punched the wall of the library before pulling it back and going. “Aaaah... BAD IDEA.... Bad. Idea....” I clutched my hand and watched as Church walked over. “Church.... Guess what?”

“Sick backflip I know!”

“Nope... More like-” I walked over and punched him as hard as I could in the arm. “YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE.”

“Ouuuuuuuuch!” Church said as he gripped his arm before laughing his ass off. “Oh man! Still best vacation ever!”

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” I grabbed him by the shoulders. “A hour ago I picked up a note saying you tried to kill yourself and now you’re laughing like a maniac while going nuts!!!”

“I had a change of heart!” Church said in a laugh. “And decided to live for a while. I’ve been cooped up in my dorm for too long! It’s time to live a little.”

“Then... Why didn’t you just say so?” I said with my eyes twitching spastically.

“Because then you would never agree to come here. I mean face it, you would have wanted to go to a tropical Island or something, It was the only way I could lure you here!” Church said with a huge grin on his face. “Oh and uh, I have some soda up there.” He said pointing to a ladder leading up.

I let my hands drop as my eyes just weren’t working now. I just put my hands together and sighed. “Church.... If I don’t knock myself out I want you to make sure I don’t bleed out okay?” I said as I walked over to the tree and slammed my head into the side of it. “FUCK!...*WHAM* FUCK! *WHAM* FUCK!”

“Looks painful! Do you want extra headache with that?” Church joked. I walked over and grabbed him shoulder before attempting to headbutt him too... But he just again sidestepped. Causing me to miss and stumble down into more snow.

“I give up.... Although I think I have a concussion.... But I give up.” I said as I got out of the snow and sat down. “This.... Your still a douche bag.”

I rubbed my head and closed my eyes. “Tell you what, I’ll repay you sometime.” He said.

“How on god’s green earth are you gonna repay making me and Tia worry about you like crazy and making us come all the way out here?” I said a little angry.

“How about a.... Gaming rig? Oh and Tia you can drop the act now.” Church said looking towards me before Celestia clinged to him looking at me with a huge grin.

“Oh FUCK. BOTH OF YOU.” I said getting up. “FUCK IT... I am getting a cab and I am out of here.”

I got up and began to walk away while brushing all the snow off my shoulders. “YOU’RE BOTH ASSHOLES.”

“Oh don’t be that way, We can get your marefriend here in a few seconds! Same for the other guys!” Church said.

“Tha’s not what this is about!!” I said turning around. “I just want to go home... Just smoething to eat. And go back to sleep.“

“You can do that in the library, I’ve gotten us more than 6 beds in there... Two queen sized... Dunno how.” Church said as he looked at the tree.

I rubbed the bring of my nose and just turned back around. “I am going back home. Deal with it.”

“No you are not.” Tia said before grabbing me with magic and tossing me down into deep snow again.

“Seriously? You pull something like that and then don’t let me go home? Now you really are just being cruel.” I said getting out and brushing off the snow.

“We were cruel from the beginning anyways.... So stop?” Both Tia and Church said in unison.

“Still leaving. See ya back at the school.” I said walking off to find a taxi or something.

“Slobber puss launch attack” Church said before Sita came out of nowhere and tackled mer. “Stay for her?” He asked nicely.

I got up and shook my head. “No.” I continue to walk away.

“Beep boop beep.” Church said as he clicked some buttons... On his phone? “Hey... Lyra wake up Luna. Go fetch Hank and Brony. Teleport to Ponyville.... Why? Because vacation thats why. Good see you in like Two - Three minutes.” Church said before he hung up. “See! Now Luna is on her way happy now?”

“Still leaving!” I said walking off.

“Da fuq is wrong with you?” Church asked “When did you become grumpy mcgrumpypants?”

I stopped and turned. “Well.... The fact that you tricked me with a suicide note is kinda a big part of it.” I said.

“If it feels any better, I was close to doing it.” Church said plainly.

“Yeah... That really doesn’t help.” I said before turning back around and continuing to walk.

Then all of a sudden there was a loud crack in front of me. Then a bright flash.

“Slayer! Where are you going?!” I heard Luna yell. I just looked over my shoulder and yelled.

“Home!”

“Don’t be like that!” Lyra yelled after me.

“OH pttbtbttbtph!!” I blew raspberry over my shoulder.

“ALRIGHT I AGREE NOW THAT THE SUICIDE NOTE WAS A BIT OVERKILL BUT COME ON!” Church yelled. “ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!”

I just sighed and turned around. “Okay tell you what. I will stay if you promise never, ever... EVER. Do something like that to me again. Kay?” I yelled back.

“.......” everyone was quiet and looked at each other... before whispering quickly.

“Nice knowing you all.” I said turning back around and continued to walk away.

“Arr we agree to yer terms!” I heard Church yell. I stopped and turned around.

“Alright then....” I said walking back. “So what do we do first?” I gave him a weak, but meaningful smile.

Church then took off a backpack that he had picked up he opened it and pulled out different part’s of what looked like a gun. Tia floated over a table and Church laid out all the parts and started screwing them together and such. When he was finished It was a gun.... But not any gun.... It was a soft air gun.

Then he just stood there and picked up his gun “We play this” he said motioning the fully auto carbine soft air gun he had in his hands

“Sorry, but I left my airsoft gun back on earth.” I said scratching the back of my head.

Someone coughed. And I turned around and when I saw who it was... It was rasputin. My oldest brother.

“Rasputin!? The hell you are doing here?” I asked.

“Well... Simple. Your friend there invited me. And wanted me to get all of your guns. Of course he didn’t specify so our dad has two guns in his hands... That’s always good.” He said and we both laughed like crazy. “But I got your stuff.”

He tossed my a duffel bag with my stuff in it. I opened it up and pulled out my Paintball mask and one of my pistols.

“Alright.... How are we gonna do this?” I said putting the mask on.

“The arena over there.” Church said as he just had finished fixing up his Sniper. He pointed the sniper in the direction of the Airsoft gun/ paintball arena.

“Nice.” I pulled out a small shotgun with a strap and a single fire assault rifle. “Alright then.let’s do this.”

“Wait... Lyra where’s Evo?” I asked.

Author's Notes:

Hey guys I think this chapter may be a bit sub-par but want to know the best part?

I don't care! I mean I do, but it's not so bad I need to rewrite. So..... Have some epic Luna pictures.

We all saw her on the moon.... But what did she see?

One of the many reasons that Luna is best pony.

Why have just one?

This chapter.... So random. So wonderful.
Thanks!