I woke up a little better than I have the rest of the week. I yawned and stretched my arms before sitting up and sighing. I looked down and saw Luna was still sleeping. I smiled happily before getting up and walking out sitting yawning loudly. I walked out of the guest room/studio and into the kitchen before realizing something.

“Wait a minute....” I looked over to the couch and saw that it was vacant. “... Son... Of a bitch.”

I groaned and pulled a soda out of the fridge before walking to Church’s room and drinking my soda while I walked. Opening the door, I quite honestly prepared for the worst, but when I walked I wasn’t as disgusted as I had assumed I was going to be.

Instead of Tia hounding Church like a animal, I just saw them on the bed with their lips locked against each other. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

“I thought you said you weren't going to come in here Celly.” I said smirking. They stopped and both of them looked at me.

“But I said I wanted Churchy.” Tia whined.

“May I ask just how long you waited before you got up and ate Church’s face?”

“One minute.” Tia said. I deadpanned.

“Really? Or was it more like thirty seconds?” I said crossing my arms.

“Twenty.” Church said.

“At least she waited... Somewhat. Just remember.. The double date is today.” I said walking out.

“It is?” Church said surprised.

“Well yeah... Did you want to make it all fancy?” I said looking back in. ‘And they are kissing again...’ “Oi! Stop it for a second.”

Both of them reluctantly stopped. “Yes?” Church said looking at me.

“Were you expecting a fancy date or just something informal?” I said leaning against the doorway. “If you answer my questions you can go back to your teenage makeout fest.”

“Just cause you dont get any tongue out of Luna.” Church shot back.

“At least she doesn’t have to be drunk to want to kiss me.” I retorted with a smile.

“Does she look drunk now?” Church asked.

“Kinda yea...” I said pointing at her swaying.

“Dude, we did.... Uh.... Yeah you get it like 30 minutes ago or something.” Church deadpanned.

“Aaaand there goes my good morning. See ya later.” I said turning on my heels and walking out.

“I never answered your question!” Church yelled.

“TELL ME OVER BACON!” I yelled back and going to the fridge.

“AWESOME! MAKE THEM EXTRA CRISPY!” Church yelled from his room.

I shook my head and walked to the fridge before grabbing the bacon and throwing it onto the counter with a ‘Clunk’. I grabbed a pan out of the cabinet and turned on the stove. “CHURCH, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU COME OUT IN A ROBE I WILL THROW A PAN AT YOUR CROTCH.” I yelled at him.

I grabbed a knife and opened up the back before pulling half of them out and throwing them into the pan with some butter.

Thats when Church walked out with some slacks and a t-shirt and a robe on him. I grabbed a pan and held it up. “Warned you.” I said taking aim.

“I have a freaking t-shirt on me and slacks. Its morning for christ sakes, ease of the gas.” He said covering his private area. I sighed and lower the pan.

“Yeah alright. At least it’s not just the robe.” I said going back to the bacon.

“Not my fault this place is so fucking cold.” Church muttered as he walked over to the fridge and opened it.

“I am in a T-shirt and shorts....” I said flipping the bacon. “How are you cold?”

“Uh, yeah.....” Church said as he took out a energy drink and closed the fridge. “I’ve uh, been smoking for a while.”

“Ah....” I said as I turned back to the bacon. “Hey could you do me a favor?”

“Need extra butter?” Church said as he opened the energy drink.

“Um no... I need my pants.” I said pointing to the guest room. “Should be on the edge of the bed.”

Then he gave me a very disturbing look. He was either smiling or disgusted. “What?”

“Oh nothing, I’ll get them. By the way, you are washing my sheets.” He said with a weird tone.

“What are yo-... NO nononono! we didn’t do anything! It was really hot and I took my pants off!” I said a bit more worriedly than I should have.

“Oh, I bet it was hot alright.” He said as he started walking to the guest room. “Make sure to make some salad or something for the girls.”

“Right.... Think they’ll like eggs?” I said going back to the fridge.

“I’m not sure....” Church said with a small frown on his face. “Should I ask them?”

“Well ask Tia. I think Luna is still sleeping.” I said pulling out a small bag of salad. “Why do you have salad anyway? Never figured you for the healthy type.”

“Well I can’t treat myself like complete crap or else it just hurts playing games or something. And besides, ever so often its quite nice to eat salad.” Church explained.

“Ri~ght.... Just go ask Tia. And Church?” I said turning to look at him.

“Mmmh yes?” Church hummed.

“Next time.... Don’t tell me what you guys were doing.” I said shuddering and going back to the bacon.

Church chuckled as he walked out of the kitchen “You know. Luna have quite the nice pl-”

I grabbed one of the frying piece of bacon and threw it at him. “SHADDUP.”

“HOT HOT HOT! OOOH!” Church yelled as he catched the bacon with his hands but did not expect it to be so hot.

“That’s what ya get! Now just... Go get Tia. And wake Luna up if you can.” I said putting another piece of bacon and the pan.

“Fine...” Church said before muttering something “Fucking slave driver right here...”

“Do I need to hurt you with more bacon?” I yelled at him.

“No no no. I’ll do as asked.” Church said as he walked into the guest room.

“Thanks. Extra crispy right?” I asked.

“Yeah you know it!” I heard Church yell from the guestroom.

I continued to cook until I remembered something. “OH SHIT CHURCH DON’T GET IN FRONT OF L-” *THWACK* “una.... Ow.” I cringed slightly at the sound and went back to cooking.

Church came out with my pants and Luna in a tow with a sheepish smile and she was apologizing to Church.

“We are very sorry Church! We forgot to tell you we kick in our sleep.”

“Eh, Its fine.... Nothing to worry about. Besides it was my fault for not being careful.” Church said as he handed me my pants. I grabbed them and slipped them on before saying.

“Thank you.... Where, uh... Where did she hit you?”

“Thankfully, just the stomach. Lost some air for a few seconds... If it were any lower...” Church cringed at the thought.

“Yeah I’m going to get Tia now.” Church said as he started walking to his room

“Yea.... I’ll get you a ice pack for your stomach.” I said going to the fridge and pulling out a small ice pack.

“Hey mind putting on some Coffee?” Church said before entering his room.

“Yeah sure.... Um... Wheres the coffee stuff?!” I yelled at the room.

“Above the Coffee pot!” Church yelled back with a deadpan tone.

“Of course it’s above the pot.” I mumbled as Luna walked up behind me. “Morning Lu-Lu.”

“Oh starting nicknames are we?” Luna asked nudging me. I chuckled and nodded before grabbing the coffee stuff and setting up the coffee pot.

“Besides it’s not like it’s a bad thing... Or like someone else is gonna start calling you Lu-Lu. Other than your sister probably.” I said before grabbing a plate and putting the bacon on it. “Soups on Church!”

“FOOD!” Church yelled as he came out of his room with Tia clinging to him.

“That.... Is an interesting sight. Not really surprising though.” I said going to the sink to wash the salad off before preparing it.

“Hey Celly can you stop clinging for a minute.” Church asked Tia, who complied. Church then walked over to his Xbox and started it up before grabbing a controller.

“What did you mean Slayer?” Luna asked. I stopped and then shuddered.

“You... Probably don’t want to know.” I said before grabbing a large bowl and pouring the salad into it. “YO Church? You got any type of salad dressings?”

“Hold on, where did I put that song? Aha! Here its is!” Church said as he pressed X on his controller and started up some music that was sounding over the Cinema system he had hooked up to the Xbox.

“Uh yeah I have some... Should be on the door shelves.” Church said as he walked over.

“Um.. Kay.” I open the fridge and pull out a bottle of dressing. “AH here we go.”

I walked over and poured some of the dressing into the salad before mixing it up and walking over to the counter. “Kay everybody. Food!”

“Awesome!” Church said as he sat down at the table. I grabbed a few bowls and plates for us before walking over and placing them down.

“Huh... This song reminds me of a tune I once heard....” Then I got a good(Or dumb) idea. “.. .Hey I will be right back. Just uh... Eat without me.” With that I got up and went to the door before exiting. I went into my dorm and grabbed my guitar and plucked it a few times to see if it was still in tune. Please with the results I picked it up and walked back to Chuch’s dorm.

“Okay I am back.” I said putting the guitar down and going back to the table. “So is it good or did I fuck up?”

“BACON WAS SO CRISPY THAT I MELTED ON THE INSIDE!” Church yelled with his mouthful. “Sorry....” He said afterwards looking down on his plate.

I blinked and nodded. “Ooookay?... I know I did good on one thing. How about the salad?” I asked grabbing a piece of bacon myself.

“It is very good.” Tia said before taking another bite of salad, Luna just nodded in agreement as she had simply stuffed her face. I chuckled both crunching down on my bacon and smiling. ‘Huh... It didn’t actually come out that bad’ I thought.

“So what’s the plan for today?” I said finishing off my first piece of bacon before grabbing another.

“Believe it or not, I need to finish a song.” Church said.

“Alright... How about you girls?” I asked looking to Luna and Tia.

“Well we are free today.” Luna said before eating some more salad. I nodded before looking to Tia. Tia put a hoof to her chin and thought for a moment.

“I have a few things to take care of back at the castle but other than that I am free for the rest of the day.” She said happily. I nodded again and finished eating before going and picking up my guitar.

“Well I have nothing else to do today, so I am just going to do what I always do... Play videogames and work on my guitar skills.”

“Feel free to hang out here in my dorm. Infact if you bring over your xbox I’m sure we could hook it up to my Tv.”

I put a hand on my chin and thought. “Eh. Why not? Wait.... has anyone seen Lyra?” I said looking to the couch. She was actually just laying there still sleeping. “Whew.... Thought I had left her somewhere. By the way... Are we leaving her with Hank?”

“Yeah... I don’t want her in my studio poking around with unfinished tracks.... Which reminds me I need to show you something later.” Church said. I nodded and walked over to my guitar before sitting on the couch.

“I am just gonna see if I can remember that old song I made a few weeks ago.” I said as I mindlessly strummed the guitar.

“You made a song?” Church said with a raised eyebrow.

“It was completely instrumental, but yes.” I said with a small sheepish grin. “ I just randomly began to play something and well... I wrote it down and forgot until now.”

“Huh... I never thought you were the musical type.... Even though you and I have played once or twice together.”

“When you get me bored enough I will do almost anything.” I said smiling before I began to play a tune. “Hey I think I remember it!”

“You know that ‘Almost anything’ can be taken in many ways right?” Church said.

“Yup! And I meant it.” I said with a grin. “Shit... I forgot... Augh one moment. I am going to my dorm to look for that paper.” I got up and went to the door and opened it up.

“Okay... I need to check on something.” Church said as he got up and walked into his room.

“Kay.” I said as I walked out and went into my dorm and rummaged around for a few minutes. I walked around until I snapped my fingers. “Aha! I remember..”

I walked into my room and went to my closet. I opened it up and found a small stack of papers. “There you are you little bastard.”

I grabbed the piece of paper before walking out and locking up my dorm before going back into Church’s dorm. “I got the paper! Now I can remember. Thank you lord for the ability to write.”

“Uh-huh... That’s great just got to finish this.” Church said from his room.

“Right. Now if I could only get that other instrument.” I said as I looked over the paper. “Why did I have to have someone help me? I can’t play this without those stupid drums.”

“I have drums in the studio! ease of the gas! I’ve got to finish writing!” Church yelled from his room.

“Yeah yeah.... Now...What can I do to this?” I said looking at the notes. “Hmmm... Maybe? Naw.. I can’t add lyrics to this. Be to hard. Oh well. Church! I am stealing your Xbox for a bit.”

“Uh... Sure! Aaaand... Done!” Chruch yelled from his room he shortly after that came out. “What are you borrowing my Xbox for?”

“It’s just how I say I am going to be playing it.” I said as I already on the couch playing Black Ops 2 Zombies.

“Alright.... But mind pausing, I have something to show you.” Church said as he walked over to the studio with a laptop.

“Um sure...” I paused my game and hopped up while Luna walked over and took over my game. “Damn it Church! You made me lose my game!”

I walked into the studio and flopped onto the bed. “Alright what is this?”

Church was hooking up his laptop to a huge equalizer machine that stood against the wall. “Alright, so here is the deal either we can do this with two headsets or the two mountain blower speakers there.”

“May I ask something?” I said looking at the large devices. “Where the hell did you get the funding for all this crap!?”

“My albums, and some from my Father.” Church said looking at me. “Did you call my studio crap?”

“No I called the area everywhere else crap. Just show me this already!” I said standing up before flopping back down onto the bed again. “By the way.... Me and Luna didn’t do anything!! We just slept!”

“Fine Mountain Blowers it is then.” Church said as he connected the speakers. “Sure you didn’t.”

“You aggravate me sometimes.” I said rubbing my eyes under my glasses.

“I try my best!” Church said smiling “Okay, here it is...”

Church opened up a program on his laptop before pressing play and walking over to the equalizer. The music soon started up. I was gently bobbing my head to the beats as the speakers did their jobs.

“Wait a second!” I saw Church mouth. “I think this is the wrong track!”

“WHAT?!” I yelled.

Church then lowered the music and said “Yep... That was one of my finished songs... Uh, i showed you the wrong track.”

“Still pretty good.” I said stretching out for a moment..

“Wait here it is.” Church said as he opened another file on his laptop before playing it.

“Just a heads up, I’m the one singing.” Church said.

“Ah it’s fine. It’s not that bad.” I said as the lyrics started. “Better than most I have heard anyway.”

I gently was nodding my head to the beat again until I was almost breaking my neck as the song sped up. I smiled at the music and continued. As the song finished I smiled and then looked up and felt to see/feel my hair being frayed and sticking in different directions. I looked to Church and said one thing.

“Worth it.”

“So what did you think? I just need a second opinion. I’m going to release that to the world wide web.” Church said.

“Well if my outrageous hair doo is not a testament then it was pretty damn good. I am not going to lie.” I said looking around for my hat. “Where did I leave that hat last night?”

“What hat?” Church asked.

“You know. That camo beanie I always am wearing.” I said lifting up a few pillows. I walked over to the door and opened it up and yelled. “Hey Luna have you seen my ha-”

Then I saw she was wearing it and smirking. “Sneaky little vixen. Give it back!” I yelled running out to her.

“Oh and uh, YOU STILL ARE WASHING THESE SHEETS!” Church yelled from inside the studio. I ran back and stuck my head in the door.

“How many times do I have to say it? WE. DID. NOT. DO. ANY. THING.” I yelled at him before walking away.

“SURE YOU DIDN’T BUT THAT DOES NOT EXPLAIN WHY THERE IS A WET SPOT ON THE SHEETS!” Church yelled back. I stopped and slowly walked backwards until I was looking at him again.

“Say wut now?” I said confused.

Church just gestured a wet spot on his guest bed. “How the fuck did that get there?” He asked.

I blinked and shrugged. Then I turned back to the couch where Luna was. “Um... Luna? Could you come here for a second?”

She nodded and trotted on over. “What is it Honey bunny? We were slaughtering the undead.”

“Honey bunny?” I said. “Nevermind. Can you help me and Church out for a second? We need something explained.” She nodded and trotted in. “Yeah... Can you explain what that is?”

I pointed to the spot on the bed and leaned against the door frame.

“I’m betting on wet dreams.” Church said. “Ten bucks.”

“I am gonna smack you.” I said looking at Church. “We are not betting on if someone had a wet dream.”

“Fine... Party pooper.” Church muttered. Luna on the other hand was just staring at the spot on the bed with undilated pupils. Like someone shined a light in her eye.

“Uh Luna you okay?” I said waving a hand in front of her. “Nothing. I think we might have broken her.”

“Should I start some music and see if that wakes her?” Church asked.

“We could actually go get Tia. She might know what is going on. She is her sister after all.” I said pointing out the door.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” Church asked. “Go. Shoo! SHOO!”

“Okay okay!” I said walking out the door. I walked over to the kitchen where Tia was putting the dishes up. “Hey Tia? We need some help here.”

“With what?” She said.

“Um... I think we might have broke Luna.” I said rubbing the back of my head. She looked at me confused until I just sighed. “Just come on... It’s easier to see than explain.”

She nodded and we walked back to the room. “Alright Church you want to explain what happened?”

“Well.... Um... I’m betting wet dream.” Church said “Look its really fucking hard to explain since neither I or Slayer know what that random spot is on the freaking bed is.”

She walked over and look at the bed before sitting and humming to herself. I walked over and stood next to him. “I swear if she does that thing where she puts her hoof in it and licks it I am gonna hurl.” I said shaking my head and looking to Luna. “I wonder what made her just freeze up like that.”

“Me too.... Wet dreams.” Church said as he narrowed his eyes. “I know she had them.”

“Why are you so convinced it was a wet dream? I mean it could have been something else!” I said.

“Because there is some sort of liquid running down Luna’s right leg?” Church said pointing there.

“What?” I looked for my self and he was right. “What the fu-”

“I’m pretty sure that Luna had a wet dream about you Slayer.” Tia said looking at me with a big smile. I groaned and just rubbed my eyes again.

“Son of a... It’s too early for this...” I said walking out leaning against the wall. Then Church came skipping out of his studio.

“Ten bucks.” Church said with a sly grin

“Sorry I don’t have any earth currency on me.” I said with a grin.

“Then ten bits.” Church said with a bigger grin.

“You know I never agreed to th-” I began.

“Ten bits.” Church said as he held out his hand.

“Freaking jerk.” I reached into my pocket and put ten bits in his hand before slumping down to the floor. “It’s WAY too early for this...”

“There is one bit missing.” Church said.

“Open your left hand.” I responded.

“That one is a chocolate coin.” Church said with a serious face.

“Oh yeah...” I took it from his hand and gave him a real bit before eating the chocolate. “Yuck... It’s melted. Oh well.”

“Anyways with you ten bits less richer.” Church said with a evil grin on his face “It’s too early for what?”

“For everything.” I said sighing and taking off my glasses.

“I feel like a pirate.” Church said “Yarrr! Hand over ye watchin’ glasses land lubbar!”

“Like I am going to give you my glasses.” I said looking at the blurry version of Church and putting my glasses back on..

“Alright you need those to see but, uh... “ Church said in a normal voice then he got an idea. “Yahhar! Hand over ye cap fool!”

“My cap? Oh my hat?” I said pulling it out of my pocket. “Why? You have a hat.”

“Just need something to put all of my coins into even though my wallet or money bag is in my room... Yarr.” Church said.

“You’re not pirate Church.... You need a cutlass and a pirate hat before you can do that.” I said

“Wait then.” Church said as he ran off towards his room. A few seconds later he came out with a fake cutlass and a pirate hat. “Yarr! I’m ‘ere to steal yer treasure!”

“Yeah yeah... Why don’t you use your pirate skills to help me out here?” I said standing back up.

“Yarr! Starbord bitch incomin!” Church yelled as he jumped up on the couch.

“AH fuck you.” I said waving a hand at him before walking back into the room with Tia. “Tia your boyfriend has abandoned his mental ship.”

“Yahhar! Its parked right ‘ere.” Church said as he pointed at his imaginary ship that was parked in the middle of the room.

“Actually I think he just blew it up and went down with the ship.” I before walking over to Luna.

“Ah! Don’t be like that ye land lubberin’ fool!” Church said before walking over to the studio door. “Arr” was all that he said.

I just shook my head and turned to him. “Then go swab the deck before I cut ye in twain!” I yelled at him. ‘Damn it now he has got me doing it.’

“Arr, who died and made ye capt’n?” Church asked.

“You if you don’t get moving or help me out here.”

Church just sighed and took of his pirate hat and tossed his fake cutlass down on the floor. “Can’t I have some fun around here?”

“Of course you can. Just help me out here....” I sighed for a second. “...Captain Church.”

“HA- HAR! Of course matey! I shall do it! On my honor as Capt’n!” Church said rather loudly.

“Right so what am I supposed to do about Luna?” I said walking and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yarr, steal a kiss.” Church said.

“I can’t agree more.” Tia said afterwards.

“Oh no your not a pirate too are you?” I said looking to Tia.

“Yarr, I sure arr.” Tia said raising a fake hook with her right hoof.

“God damn it. What are you then? First mate or admiral?” I said just going along with it.

“I’m actually a admiral... but some time I’m captn’s favorite pe-”

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!” I yelled clamping my hand over her mouth. “Just please... No.”

I let go and sighed. “Seriously.... What do I do?”

“Yarr, Steal. A. Kiss.” Church repeated himself “Damn it, more of this and I’m going to charge you.”

“Oh go walk the plank.” I said jerking a thumb out the door.

“Arr, ye landlubber! Do as ye wer seid to do!” Church said at me before raising his fake cutlass. “Or ye walks the plank.” he said as he tried to poke me.

“Right.... One moment please.” I got up and walked out of the room before going into my dorm and grabbing something from my dresser. I walked back and shot Church in the back of the head with a dart. “Taste me repeating flintlock capt’n.” I said as I cocked the Mavrick nerf gun.

“Yarr, I can play two at that!” Church said as he ran into his room and came out with a Nerf Vulcan. “Yarr... Eat stone bullets landlubber!” he said before taking aim.

“Oh now that’s cheating.” I said before running and power sliding into the kitchen as he fired at me.

“Arr! Die!” He yelled as he shot a few darts at me.

“When did this become war?!” I yelled out before shooting a dart at him. “Can’t we just make peace?!”

“Ney! One must stand and one must fall! Yarr! Then I’m taking yer loot!” Church said from behind the couch which he had moved too.

“If I said no.... Would you be mad at me?” I said peering over the counter.

“Yarr... Maybe... Shit we should really fix luna.... YARR WE SHOULD STEAL YER LOOT! But well shit first woona.” Church said as he stood up.

“Woona?” I said looking over the counter. “That is..... Rather witty. I applaud you.” I gave him a small clap before standing up. “So can we fix Luna then continue this charade later, uh... Matey?”

He then pull out a Nerf jolt and shot me square in the chest. “Yer dead.”

“If that was the case then you would have been dead when I shot you in the back of the head, but.... Fine.... Ugh. You got me.” I said putting a hand over my chest and walking toward the studio.

“Yarr! Want to play soft air gun sometime?” Church said as he walked after me.

“When Luna is not in a coma then yes...Why not. Maybe paint ball?” I said gesturing for him to follow.

“Maybe.... Or how about just a whole dorm nerf war?” Church said as he followed me.

“If only... I think we would get in trouble.” I said smiling at the idea. “Alright, so you saying kiss Luna and this will all get fixed?”

“Should fix her, I mean if you love someone and you go daydreaming or whatever then shouldn’t that wake you up?” Church said.

“Yarr.” I agreed and entered the room where Tia was giggling like a filly. “What’s so funny?”

She just pointed to my and Church’s shirts. I looked and apparently we were using the velcro darts and my backside was riddled with them as Church said. “Ah... Alright let’s do this...”

I walked up to Luna and gave her a kiss before pulling back. “Nothin’... You lied to me you piratey bastard.” I said turning to Church.

“Wait for it. Waiiit for it. wait a minute.... Did you use tongue?” Church asked.

“Um no...” I said scratching my head. “Didn’t think I’d have too.”

“Well... Thar ye problem lies.” Church said.

“You want me to french Luna?” I said deadpanning.

“YARR!” Church yelled with vigor “Oh and IF it does not work then ye ten bits that me stole is yer’s again.”

“Fair enough.” I said before turning back to Luna. “Well this better work.” I mumbled.

I locked lips with Luna again only this time taking the advice of Church ‘slipping’ some tongue into my actions. It wasn’t very hard to gain entrance with Luna in a state of total obliviousness. Soon as I began Luna actually started to kiss back. Before long we had started a small battle for dominance over the other until we finally had to breath. I panted a little and wiped some saliva from my mouth.

“Like that?” I said turning to Church.

“Yeah... Except less saliva....” Church said as he turned to Celly and kissed her for about a minute or two before breaking it. “Like this.” he then said.

“When did this turn into a kissing contest?” I said looking between Luna and Church. “I am just glad Luna snapped out of her little open eyed coma.”

“Yarr...” Church said quietly.

“Oh shut up.” I said with a smile before turning to Luna. “You okay Luna?”

She nodded before rubbing her head. “We art fine. May we ask what that kiss was about?”

I burned fire red before chuckling. “Well you see you went into a coma and Church over there convinced me it was the only way to ‘snap’ out of it.” I explained. “I ain’t complaining though.”

She nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, but what caused us to goes into that state?”

I pointed over to the bed. “That wet spot on the bed.”

Now she blushed furiously before getting up and rushing out the room. “WENEEDTOUSETHELAVATORYONEMOMENTPLEASE.”

I blinked and looked to Church. “The fuck just happened?”

“....Yarr?” Church said confused. I just shrugged and looked to Tia.

“How about you? You know what just happened?” I said curiously.

“She.... Um.... Ran to the … I have no idea.” Tia said.

“Right... Abandon ship?” I asked.

“Yarr! Go get ye TREASURE!” Church said as he pushed me though.

“B-but... I don’t know where she is!” I complained as I was shoved out the door.

“USE YE MAP!” Church said. “Eh... HEART.”

“Oh now who’s being cheesy?” I said to him as I turned to face him.

“Quiet LANDLUBBER YE HAVE YE QUEST.”

“Yeah yeah....” I waved a hand at him before walking around to try and find any hint of Luna’s presence. All I did find was a bunch of dust. I was about to give up hope until I look behind and saw Luna looking rather embarrassed about something. “There you are. Where did you go running off to?”

“We went off to go.... Do something.” She said uneasily.

“Luna are you okay?” I asked walking over to her. She just sighed and nodded.

“We are fine. Just somethings come up and they are rather hard to avoid.” Luna said. I raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to go on. “Alright get ready for our explanation.”

I walked back into Church’s studio and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“LUNA IS IN HEAT, DUMBASS.” I said maybe a bit too angry.

“Oh.... Oh... Well then.” Church said looking around...

“Yeah... It’s alright though. It’s not like you knew.” I said slumping back onto the bed.

“Uh...” Church said.

“You didn’t right?” I said looking to him. “Right?”

“Eh.....” He turned and ran out the door.

“GET BACK HERE!!!” I yelled at him.

“CELLY SAVE ME!” He yelled as I chased him out the studio.

As I hid behind my marefriend I saw that, Slayer was infuriated.

“Look lets all calm down here.” I said slowly. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“Alright... Alright I am calm.... Now please tell me why you didn’t tell me beforehand?” he said as he took a step back.

“Don’t ask me. I just found out.” I said defensively.

“From whom exactly?” He asked.

“Celestia.... Who herself just found out too...” I said leaning to the side

“Huh... I guess I got worked up over nothing...” He said blushing a bit and smiling sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“No problem... I guess.....”

“Alright.... Well I am gonna go see if I can help Luna kay?” He said.

“Uh.... Sure.... Go get her champ....” I said.

“You seem a bit off.... Are you okay?” He asked as he walked around Celly to the door.

“Uh....” I looked at Celestia and saw that, she in fact... Looked horny.... As holy shit.... Now she is staring back.

“Uh...” I repeated myself. He looked to Celly before his eyes widened and he hurried his pace out the door.

“Y-yeah I will meet up with you later. Kay?” He said as he rushed to the door.

“Deserter.” I muttered.

“Hey you want Tia sleeping with your best friend in front of you?” He said before opening the door. “If you want to come with be my guest.”

“Sure!” I said as I tried rushing to him. but was grabbed by an invisible force. “What?” my face probably went from relieved to horrified.

“Ah shit....” He said “Um dude... Don’t hurt me for saying this.... HEY TIA!! YOU GOT A FAT FLANK!!”

Before Slayer could bolt through the door, She picked him up with magic and said. “Maybe I should have two toys for tonight.”

He gulped.

“See this is why I was weird before... She is really dominant.” I said.

“Like always or just right now?” He asked looking to me.

“Sometimes.... When she is not in the heat.”

“Ah... WAIT WHAT!?.... See this is why I got pissed. If you had told me that maybe I could have actually saved us...” He said sighing. “Yeah... Can I go please? I have to go find Luna again.”

Celestia bit her lip and looked at Slayer. “Maaaybe.....”

“Okay now I am nervous.” He said shifting a bit in Celestia’s magic.

“You should be. She can be really terrifying sometimes.”

“Point. But seriously. I need to go find Luna. Look you don’t have fat flank. Please just let me down so I can go.” He said wiggling in her magic a bit.

She brought Slayer closer to her face. And Slayer now looked extremely nervous. “Um... Please let me go?” He said with his voice cracking a bit.

Celestia now was.... closing the small distance between Slayer’s and Celestia’s face. “Um Princess what are you doing?” He said trying to lean back as much as he could.

She then brought him closer and licked a part of his cheek. “I should keep you...” She said with lust filled eyes and bit her lip again.

“Ch-church... HELP.” He said looking to me worriedly.

“H-hey Celly could you like.... St-” I said before a gag out of nowhere came and Got attached to my mouth. “Mppph?!” (What the fuck?!)

“Oh that’s just not cricket.... Um... Oh god I am terrified now.” He said looking to Celestia. “SERIOUSLY LET ME GO!!!”

“No...” She said as she took out rope. “I’ll Keep you.”

“TIA I AM FUCKING WARNING YOU.” He yelled and I saw he got one arm loose from her magic. He looked to me and whispered. “Forgive me for this...”

Then he turned to Tia and slapped her. HARD. Her magic suddenly stopped and we both fell to the ground groaning in pain.

“Oooooow.....” He said before crawling over and taking the gag out. “I am so sorry for that. I REALLY didn’t want to do that, but.... Oh shit let’s go!”

“Uh... Okay!” I said as I got up and ran to the door. “Lets go.” I said motioning him to Get out.

“Don’t need to tell me twice.” He said running out and pulling me out with him before slamming the door shut and leaning against it. “If she ever does that to me again..... I am going to taze her.”

“I’ll keep her inside. GO! I WILL SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR THE GREATER CAUSE!” I said.

“Maybe we should both just run away....” He said.

“And get grabbed again? Fuck no. And besides, I just wasted a cheesy quote. Now fucking go.”

“Right thanks man!” He said running down the hallway. “Oh wait... Wrong way...”

He bolted back and stopped in front of me. “By the way.. Please tell Tia I am very, very sorry for slapping her.” Then he bolted down the hallway again.

“Okie dokie....” I said as he waved one last time before disappearing around the corner. I looked again before just collapsing in laughter. “Oh my god.... BEST TROLL EVER.”

Celestia just looked through the door before laughing with me.

“We certainly got Slayer there.” She said with a huge smile before laughing again. I smiled and got up then and walked inside before flopping down on the couch. “You do realize when he finds out you’re good as dead right?”

I stopped running after a few minutes and was slightly panting. “Jesus.... If... That was... A.. Joke... I am gonna... Paralyze Church.” I huffed to myself and continued to walk.

After Luna told me that she was going through her heat, she had run off saying something about me hating her or what not. I continued to walk and looked around for Luna. I sighed and got an idea.

“A song! That will lure her out.” I said to myself. “But my guitar is in Church’s dorm... FUCK!”

I sat down and sighed. I thought for a few minutes about how I could possibly get my guitar, but considering what I saw, none of my ideas ended well. After a while I just decided for the good old fashion run n’ grab. I walked back to the dorms hallway and saw that Church wasn’t in the hallway anymore.

“Oh no....” I muttered. I snuck over to the door and put my ear against it. Hearing nothing I gently began to open the door before silently walking in. What I did hear was and was not exactly what I wanted to hear. I heard laughing.

“I still can’t believe he fell for that!” Tia said.

“Yeah that was the best thing ever! Although I think the gag was a bit much.” I heard Church reply.

My left eye twitched slightly and I stood up before taking a deep breath and walking over to my guitar. “Hey guys....”

“Oh hey Slayer! What’s up man?” Church said before kissing Celestia.

“Nothing. Just grabbing my guitar.” I said as I picked it up and throwing it’s strap over my shoulder. “Figured out how to find Luna by the way.”

“Did you now?” Church asked with a smirk.

“Yup... Oh and one last thing before I go...” I said as I turned to stare at both of them with a evil smile. “... I have something planned.”

Church just looked at me with a really weird face before whipping out his phone and quickly sending me a message.

[(╯°□°)╯​︵ ┻━┻]

“Um what?” I said looking at him.

“I want to flip a table.... But can’t since my coffee table costs too much and same goes with the other one.” Church said as he had a small frown on his face.

“Oh... Well then this is my reply.” I walked outside the door before sending him a message.

[ ( Y ) ] (If you get what this is comment down below!)

[I love you in the most Hetrosexual way possible right now.] Church replied from his phone.

I shook my head and laughed before walking down the hall.

[I was serious though... My revenge will be ruthless. >:3] I replied.

[Well.... Fuck. :I ] Church replied to my reply.

[Not ‘cleat to the face’ ruthless, but troll ruthless. :3] I sent right afterward

[Prime example there... Meh, At least you did not send me out in the street during a stormy night.]

[ :3.... you should stop giving me ideas.] I sent with a small suppressed chuckle

[Shit.... I’ve created a monster. Wtf.... I got a text from.... Ms. Sparkle? Wat.]

[Oh that might be for me... Wut it be saying?]

[Uh.... Something about.... Luna, she hidin’ in the theater.... She bumping in with Ms. Spurkle... Oh shit spelt that wrong, Spurkle. Oh and shes trying to calm down Luna right now.... Twurlight spurkle.... Huh sounds funny when I say it out loud.]

I read the text and involuntarily said. “Twurlight Spurkle... Hehehehe it does sound funny when you say it out loud.”

I responded with. [Tell her help is coming!!]

[Bow chicka bow wow]

Then without a second thought I ran to the theater. After about 10 minutes of running I finally made it to the theater and panted for a moment till I opened up the door. “I.. *Pant* made it... Here... Ms. Sparkle.” I wheezed out.

“Not the athletic one are we?... Wait Slayer is that you?” Ms. Sparkle said. I could not help the fact that I said spurkle in my head when I saw her and I let out a quiet chuckle. “What are you laughing about? This is a serious matter! Princess Luna’s boy friend is nowhere to be found and you’re laughing!?”

“Um... Ms. Sparkle? I am Luna’s boyfriend...” I deadpanned. She just looked at me before shaking her head.

“Now is no time for jokes Slayer.” She said face hoofing.

And all of a sudden someone called me. Or Sparkle, since she was the one to pick up a phone out of her pocket....Fur...What?.... Ponies are weird sometimes.

“Hello this is Twilight speaking. How can I help you?” Twilight asked.

I heard a chuckle come from her phone. “Is Slayer there?” I managed to hear.

She slowly nodded before this unknown person or pony was explaining a shit ton of things to her... all in all five minutes worth of explaining. I was so bored that I sat down in the theater seat and waited until she hung up. “Well..... That was rather informal...” She said.

“May I ask who called and what it was about?”

“Well.... It was the school’s newest troublemaker....” She shuddered. “And … His marefriend....”

“Let me guess... Church?... And Celly?” she just nodded. “Right... What did they want?”

“They explained the situation to me and uh....” she shuddered again. “and made out during the phone call.”

“Yeah... That sounds like Church and Celly. So... Where is Luna?”

“Shes hiding in the corner behind some props on stage.” Ms. Spur- God damn it Church.

“Thanks... Oh and if you think that phone call was bad... Imagine living next to them.” I said walking by Ms. Spu- Sparkle. I walked up onto the stage and pointed to one direction. She shook her head and I pointed to the other. She nodded and I walked over. The stage had a simple design. It was a home at night. ‘How cheezy.’

I walked up to the prop door and knocked on it. “Luna?”

“GO AWAY TWILIGHT WE WISH NOT TO BE DISTURBED!!” She yelled nearly broke the props down. I swear I could hear Church chuckle from his dorm at Twurlight Spurkle. The damn name stuck harder than a infant to his or hers mother. I knocked again and this time I just opened up the door.

“WE SAID-... Slayer?” Luna said as I stepped in. She was apparently bawling while she was back here because her eyes were slightly red and a little puffy.

“Yeah... Are you okay Lu-Lu?” I said walking over. She just shifted away from me, but didn’t completely scoot away. I walked over and put a hand on her back. “Come on Luna what’s up?”

“What’s up? WHAT’S UP!?” Luna said beginning to raise her voice. “You walk away from us after we tell you something important and don’t so much as say wait here!!”

“Luna...” I gently said.

“We mean come on! It’s called common courtesy!” She continued

“Luna....” I said a bit sterner.

“WE JUST-” She began to use her canterlot voice.

“LUNA!!.” I yelled silencing her. “You are right. I should have at least said something than running off. I know that now. If it’s any consolation to you, Church and your sister trolled me pretty bad after I explained what was going on.”

She smiled somewhat and giggled. “What did they do?”

I shuddered and sighed. “I promise to tell you later, but guess what?” I said rubbing her back.

“Hmmm?” She hummed. I gave her a kiss and picked her up.

“We still have a double date to go to.” I said carrying her out of the prop house. She smiled and nuzzled into my shirt. I saw Twilight at the end of the stage and winked before nudging Luna. “You might want to change if I am gonna carry you back.”

She nodded and her horn glowed before she became smaller, her hair changed and that hoodie I gave her appeared. “Right... Back to the room!”

I ran to the end of the stage and jumped over Twilight’s head while she went “EEP!” and ducked. I chuckled at her reaction and opened the door with my back before yelling. “SEE YA NEXT WEEK MS. SPURKLE!.. Damn it Church....” I yelled and muttered.

“So you’re saying.... That my sister pretended to be in heat... Just to prank you.” Luna summed up. I nodded. “You’re right. That is going to be hard to top.”

I nodded again before getting to Church’s dorm. “Yeah.... But I have a pretty good idea.” I said with a evil grin. I Looked to Luna before nodding to the door. She nods herself and opens the door with her magic. I walk inside and began to say. “Hey everyone I ho-.....Da fuq?”

What I saw was, Church who had gotten his shirt off... but at least had his pants on (Thank god) was on the couch making out with Celly... who was on top and had her wings fully erect. They didn’t seem to notice me and Luna because they were too busy getting it on...

“Right..... Time for a good old fashion... Cockblock.” I said setting Luna down. I walked over to the fridge and filled both my hands with ice before walking over. Quietly sneaking over, stopped right next to them and put one handful of ice on Celly’s backside and the other on Church’s stomach then jumped out of the way and watched the fireworks.

“HOOOOOOLY FUCK THAT’S COLD!” Church yelled as he broke the kiss with Celestia who basically had the same idea but more or less launched up herself of the couch and onto the floor.

“YES!! YOU JUST GOT COCK BLOCKED MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled pointing to Church and Celly.

“Least I get some action, compared to a certain man called Slayer... Who seems to deny everything.” Church said as he stood up making all of the ice fall of his stomach.

“Yeah... But hey. I got a small part of my revenge.” I said grinning. “And I helped out Luna, so it’s a win-win for me!”

Church looked at me for a few seconds. “So you did a quickie?” he deadpanned.
I looked to Celly who had the same expression.

“Um... No...I am not going to take advantage of Luna while she is in heat.” I said deadpanning before walking over to the couch. “On second thought... I am not sitting on that.”

“Yeah... But you said, you ‘helped Luna’ what else could it mean?” Church said with a huge grin.

“Maybe, I don’t know, emotional help? Not everything is about you get’s laid the most.” I said walking over to a chair.

“So you are a virgin.” Church and Celly said at the same time. I looked at them both before nodding.

“Yep.”

“He’s a virgin....” Church said as he looked at Celly. “You are a fucking virgin... and you are what 18... 19... Hell soon 20. And you’ve not gotten laid once?” Church asked with a serious face.

“Didn’t I ever tell you about the fact that I am terrible with women?” I said.

“YOU HAVE A FREAKING PRINCESS AS A MAREFRIEND.” Church almost yelled.

“Point?” I said smiling as I sat down in the chair.

“Might want to get up. You are going to kill Lyra otherwise.” Church said “And my point is you my good sir can’t become like the movie 40 year old virgin.”

“That is never going to happen. The only way it could happen is if someone chopped my junk off.” I said standing up and picking up Lyra. “How long has she been asleep?”

“No fucking idea, she sleeps like a rock...” Church said. “Also you got no proof to back that up since you can’t score with your own girlfriend.”

“Really? You’re going to pressure me into having sex with Luna? Who has fainted from said topic?” I said pointing to Luna whom’s wings were at full extension and passed out on the floor.

“When the fuck did that happen?” Church asked confused. “Anyhow... Before I met Celly here I resorted to One night stands... Which were awesome thank you very much.”

“Well thanks, but no thanks. And I really didn’t need to know that.” I said turning to him. “Besides I can’t go on one night stands anyway.”

Church just sighed. “It’s like I’m arguing with a christian here... Except that he believes his religion is Virginity.... Virginity-ism...”

“Jesus you’re making a big deal out of this.” I said putting Lyra on the couch and sitting back down in the chair.

“Well it is, You are a virgin... which by typical means in this society is a bad thing... Somehow, and is supposed to be lost at the best possible time... Like now for example.” Church said

“So you want me to just throw my pants and shorts off and have sex right there on the coffee table?” I said pointing to the table.

“Not necessarily the coffee table, I usually eat there sometimes. But you can borrow my studio, Its sound proof so you can live out all your kinks there...” Church said with a shudder.

“For your information I don’t have any ‘kinks’. I am not so sure about Tia over there, but I am sure Luna is the same.”

“Really? Mind explaining why she keeps moaning your name like over and over in her sleep?” Church asked.

“Um... How about the fact that.. She is in heat?” I said.

“Was she that before you threw a cleat at my face?” Church asked again with a eyebrow raised.

“Um....”

“Yeah... Didn’t think so.... Also why are her wings erect? Wing boner that you gave her?” Church asked looking amused.

I looked over to the still passed out Luna. “We have been talking about sex for 20 minutes now... Look at Tia. Her wings are stiffer that an icicle in the north pole.”

“Yeah and my boner is still raging.” Church said with a un-amused expression

I rubbed my eyes under my glasses and sighed. “I really didn’t need to know that dude.”

When I looked back at Church I saw the biggest trollface in my life.

“Well I knew you wanted it.” He said with a weird tone.

“Ye- no.... Just no. Please leave me alone about this.” I said getting up and going to the fridge and pulling out a soda. “Besides it’s not like you’re gonna force me to do it. Then it would be rape.”

“Its not rape if their unconscious.” Church said with a sick smile. “Oh and if you keep stealing my soda at least you can give me one.”

“Right.” I grabbed another soda and tossed it to him. “ And you a sick sick sick man. I am not having sex with Luna while she is sleeping!”

“Hey I have another one! ‘It’s not rape if they don’t say no.’ yeah!” Church said before breaking into laughter.

“It’s also not rape if a man and his mare are locked in their room with no magic and are bound together.” I said sitting down in the chair again.

“What?” Church asked after he calmed down, he walked over and sat down on his couch and after that Celly laid down in his lap.

“So what is this? You two are just gonna hound me until I get laid?” I asked before taking a drink from my soda.

“Maybe.” Both Church and Celly said in unison.

“Oh sod off....” I said leaning my head back and rubbing my temples. “I am never gonna get some sleep now am I?”

“Nooope!” Church said. Then felt something weird, like a unknown weight on my lap as I opened my eyes I saw that Celly was sitting there with a huge evil smile on her face.

“Oh god.... Please get off.” I said

“Nu-uh.” Celly replied childishly with a evil smile.

“If you don’t move I am just going to stand.” I said not really caring anymore.

“And break my 100 dollar glass coffee table. Yeah, you do that.” Church said.

“Or I could just do this...” I said. I grabbed Tia by the waist and stood up so she was flopped over my shoulder. “Yeah.... I always have a plan. Not really.”

“The bedroom is there Slayer.” Church said pointing to his room.

“I am not going to banging Luna’s sister and your girlfriend.” I said putting Tia back on the couch next to Church.

“I’m pretty sure she kinda wants it.... Don’t you?” Church said looking at Tia.

“Maaaybe.” Tia said with a sultry voice.

“Am I just gonna have to go to my dorm to get some peace and quiet and a pony free lap?”

“I’m following.” Church said as he stood up and picked up his shirt. “Besides, I’ve got to see how Lyra’s room looks like.”

“You know as well as I do that damn pony has a sixth sense when it comes to her room.” I said just sitting back down.

“I really don’t. Besides, I’m going to carry her over there and see what happen when I open her door.” Church said with pretty much ‘what the hell could go wrong’ tone in his voice.

“You do that. I am just going to stay here and wait for Luna to wake up.”

“Your dorm. Your key.” Church said as he picked up Lyra. “And you got to open the door too.”

I just rubbed my eyes again and stood back up. “Fine... I might as well put Luna in a bed anyway.”

“Then get some action.” Church said almost laughing.

“Say it again and I will go down to the science lab and get some of those pills that put mare in heat and I will put fifty of the things into Tia’s coffee.” I said walking over and picking up Luna.

“Get some action? What?” Church asked confused with Lyra in his arms.

“Nevermind. Let’s just go.” I said opening his door and walking over to my dorm. I unlocked it before walking in and putting Luna on the bed in my room. “Okay you can come in and die by mint green death now.”

“Sure sure....” Church said as he walked into my dorm. He then walked over to Lyras door. “Well here goes.” He flung Lyra over the shoulder and grabbed the handle.

What I saw next was like something out of a horror/’suspense movie. Lyra had opened one eye up and flung herself off Church’s shoulder before getting between him and the door, hissing the entire time.

“Well at least I got her to wake up.” Church said disappointed. “Oh well, I’ll go play some Planetside 2 now.”

“Right..... And forget all this sex business!” I said going to my Xbox and turning it on.

“Hey Lyra!” Church said.

“Jesus christ you never stop do you?” I said walking over to my couch and flopping down.

Lyra calmed down and locked her room with her magic before walking over to the couch herself. “What?”

“Slayer is a virgin.” Church said with a evil smile. “Can you believe that?”

“Yes and no.” Lyra said scratching her chin.

“Exactly, and he refuses to bang Luna.... You should do him.” Church said looking at Lyra.

I just shook my head. “Great another one to join my toil of pain and misery.” I muttered.

“I don’t know.... He doesn’t seem like my type.” Lyra said smiling.

“Do a one night stand then. Albeit its going to be very fucking awkward afterwards since you both share the same dorm.” Church said shrugging.

“Yeah that’s not gonna happen.” I said starting up my game. “Please just stop this. I am not going to bang one of my friends. I am not going to bang Tia. And I am sure as hell not going to have a one night stand just to get laid.”

“Alright suit yourself.... But I’m not dropping the subject. You know double date and such.” Church said as he walked out of my dorm. I just sighed and rubbed my temples.

“I sense an awkward evening ahead of us... I am not going to enjoy this.” I said

Author's Notes:

A/N: Hey everyone this is just me saying.... There may or may not be some clop in the upcoming chapters. It’s all going to be optional-

The Alpha: CLOP CLOP MOT- I mean Clop that sounds intresting.

Right.... Well like I was saying it’s going to be optional and will not affect the story much. It’s just kind of a bonus. So yea.... If you don’t want the clop, just don’t read it. If you do... There you go.

The Alpha: Also, would you guys be a dear and go help Totalbiscuit win the Ultimate Empire Showdown? Cause I certainly will.

No shameless promotions alpha. Not since that blizzard incident.

The Alpha: I was not doing that, In fact I’m helping the king of the internet! Totalbiscuit!

Right... WELL GOOD NIGHT EVERPONY!!

The Alpha: VOTE FOR TOTALBISCUIT! Otherwise face my wrath when we roll over you with the might of the Terran Republic....

*Smack* No making death threat against the audience...