A cart, six lightweight ponies, and a larger, heavier alicorn, and a very lazy Nikolai.

Hagrid and David were working overtime to drag these living creatures to the nearest hospital, although Hagrid was a bit sceptical of modern medicine as a means of helping.

"So, Weasel, tell me, how did you come here? Last I heard, you got sent to prison for bank robbery, in America, in 1926." Nikolai said, drunk as a sailor.

"Huh, well, I guess I can tell a little story when we get to the hospital, but everyone must be conscious before I speak."

"You need a cough drop, you have a scratchy voice." David asked.

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Alright."

"Man, this will be boring. AUTHOR!"

On it, Wade!

The Mane Six had seen better days. Fluttershy had a couple broken ribs and a dislocated wing. Applejack's hind legs were shattered, and she indeed had a few broken ribs. Rainbow was in a full body cast, and had to be hopped up on painkillers just so she'd have a more bearable pain. Pinkie was the least injured, a concussion. Rarity had a twisted foreleg, and had a reddened eye. Twilight had a cracked horn, several broken ribs, and a tweaked back. The docs said that they would be better. Celestia was just released from the care of the hospital, looking over these new humans.

"So, tell me, how'd you get here?"

"Talking... horse." John muttered aimlessly.

David had summoned a wiffle bat, and was looking at it. He decided that John need to wake up, so he whacked it at the only 'Normal' guy in the group.

"Ow!" John rubbed the back of his head. It was merely painful, but not dangerous in anyway.

"Right then, sorry man. Let's move on, who's telling what on how they got here? Weasel?" David asked the man.

"Right, so let me tell you all the tale of how I got here. Also, John, I met you first, so you tell them your side."

"Oh, um, right. Okay."

"Now, it started about two days ago..."

"It started for, when I had to something..."

Everyone was on a bridge, on one side, was Weasel. On the other, there were three men, one with a white bloodied shirt, and other two in prison clothes.

"Something hard... We just escaped Alcatraz, but then..."

"Weasel, you bastard!" Billy Handsome yelled, bringing out his Speakeasy, an upgraded M1927 Thompson SMG.

"They turned on me!"

"WHO?"

"You're a dead man!" Sal DeLuca said as he took up his Uncle Gal, an upgraded Uzi.

"You've fucked with the wrong Irishman!" Finn O'Leary said, bringing out his FRIST, an upgraded LSAT.

Weasel looked to see an entire horde of red-eyed zombies come onto the bridge. Much to his surprise, they didn't attack him, they... protected him.

"AAAAAAHHH!!!"

Weasel turned to see Billy, charging at him with a knife. The man took out his Blundergat a fired it at the would-be murderer, killing him.

"Billy Handsome, a mass murderer. Convicted of 116 murders, and might have had much, much more blood spilt."

"Bloody hell!

"The bastard's dead, completely dead!"

"BILLY! You're dead, fucker!" Sal said, firing at Weasel. But then, a zombie in riot gear appeared and tried to attack Sal. He dodged out of the way and instead, the zombie hit Finn upside the head, killing him. Sal turned to see Weasel, pointing a Ray Gun at Sal.

"Finn O'Leary, loan shark, cheater, 3-time killer. Life in Alcatraz."

"Cool."

"What's wrong with your head?"

"I dunno, I keep seeing caption boxes."

"Ignore him."

"Right."

"Not one more move... I mean it Sal!" Weasel threatened.

"Come on Albert, you really think I'll give up?"

"No, but you've already lost."

"Did I?" Sal took out a Meat Grinder, a three-barreled minigun that was made of an upgraded Death Machine. Sal revved it up and fired at the guard zombie.

"RAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

"BRUTUS!" Albert yelled out.

"And now, it's your turn." Sal opened fire, but Al dodged. He rolled and picked up a weapon from Finn's dead body, an Acidgat. A Blundergat infused with acid, the muzzles were blown apart, glowing green, and the weapon fired 3 acid rounds. Weasel fired at Sal, but the weapon had poor accuracy.

"Hah, you missed!" Sal taunted.

"Oh shit..." Weasel crawled back, expecting the worst. Sal stomped on the man's chest, and aimed his gun at the defenseless man.

"You've killed two of my boys, and you are gonna pay for it, mother... AAAHHGGG!!!"

Al saw that a zombie drove his rotted teeth into Sal's neck. Even better, it had an acid round stuck in it's eye. Weasel pushed Sal off of him and hid behind a cement churner.

"And then there Salvador DeLuca, mob boss."

"His crimes?"

"Bootlegging, Gambling, Prostitution."

"The big crimes back in the days of prohibition, 1920's, this happened?"

"New Years Eve, 1933."

"GONG HEY FAT CHOI!"

"Shut up Wade."

"And let's just say, their deaths were not quiet."

The bomb exploded, blowing off half of the skin on Sal's body. The acid went down his throat and went into his bloodstream. He wheezed in agony for several minutes, before he dropped to the ground. He coughed up blood and soon was off the face of the planet. Weasel went to the body, and spat at the corpse.

"Hey! didn't you get the memo? I'm a dangerous little prick!"

Weasel took a deep breath, and fell backwards, he did it, he broke the cycle. He was no longer repeating the same fate, over and over again.

"I had killed them, and by doing that, I broke the cycle of escaping and dying, but after I began to sleep again, I ended up in a damn forest."

Weasel opened his eyes, and got up. He took one long look, and saw that he was no longer surrounded by steel, or concrete or death, he was surrounded by forest, vast acres of it.

"Where am I? What the fuck? Anyone there!?"

Nothing.

"Shit Weasel, how'd you get here, and why? The last I remember is killing those guys on the bridge, in self-defence!"

Weasel got up, and saw three weapons on the ground, a Porter's X2 Ray Gun, The Sweeper, an upgraded Blundergat, and a Meat Grinder.

"I got to get out of here." Weasel picked up the three weapons, struggling the most with the minigun, and slowly moved in a random direction.

"Wait, where's the minigun?"

"I got it Wade."

"Damn Cable!"

"Guys, telling a story here!"

Several minutes of walking with all of that gear can be tiring, so he set down his weapons, and laid himself against a tree.

"Oh jeez."

Weasel began to take a nap, and when he woke, he saw a few shadows, looking over menacingly. Weasel took his Sweeper and Ray Gun and hid in some bushes. He looked out to see four Griffins, looking over his minigun.

"What the fuck?" Weasel muttered under his breath.

"What is this?"

"I don't know, but it looks to be a potent enough weapon to assassinate the Emperor."

"Hah, I like the sound of that!"

"Well, what do we say, we take this home and kill everyone?"

"Not without my permission."

The griffins turned to see Weasel take out his Ray Gun and fire shots into three of the Griffins. As their skin and feathers burned, Weasel took out his Sweeper and fired a shot at the last rouge, killing him.

"Okay, they are not human, so it is okay, and they were gonna kill a bunch of people. I am an unknown savior, and no one will know." Weasel rationalized himself.

"There... was a group... of rebels... in the..."

"Twilight, My faithful student, rest yourself. But yes, there is a secret revolution going on in the Gryphon Empire. Two days ago, there was supposed to be a assassination of the Gryphon Emperor, you may have actually prevented it outright."

"Well, I am not a cold-blooded killer."

"No, you're warm-blooded, like everyone else here."

"I killed third wife. She was bitch."

"Choosing to ignore that."

The man put away the weapons and picked up the minigun, and then pointed it when he heard a frog croak.

"Who's there?" Weasel spooled his minigun, before letting it die down shortly after. "Wait, what am I doing? It's just a damn frog. Get a hold of yourself Al, get a damn hold of yourself!"

"Actually..." Weasel looked to see a man, coming out of the vegetation.

"Who are you?"

"My name's... John, John Gleb."

"Albert Arlington. Umm, those guys tried to steal from me."

"Okay... I'll just... try and forget what I'm seeing... and move somewhere else." John was now visibly sick.

"Okay, but before we move, take this thing here." Weasel said as he gave John his Ray Gun.

"Um, why? I'm not a fighter, and I don't know how it works." John argued.

"Point, pull trigger, shoot. Same as any other gun, except don't stand too close. You might blow yourself sky high."

"Umm, I don't think..."

"Look, just take the damn thing and follow me, those things there might want to kill us if they find them dead there, kapeesh?"

John took one more look at the dead bodies, and nodded. "Kapeesh."

"Good!"

"So, what were you doing before you somehow came here, John?"

"I was looking over my college of choice, David."

"Wow, I guess education can wait for a genius."

"I'm not that smart."

"Except in history."

"Well, yes, I guess that would work."

"Hey, tell Nikolai about future of Soviet Union!"

"Guys, you want to hear the damn story or not?"

"... Go on."

"Thank you!"

The two moved in a single direction, ending up in a canyon.

They didn't know where to go, but something was coming from the sky, so they dashed over to the nearest cave. They looked to see a sky blue pegasus, with a rainbow mane.

"What the fuck?" Weasel muttered, "Where the fuck are we?"

"I wish I knew, but there is a blue, miniature horse over there."

"Mmrrmmrmrrr MMRRR!!!"

"Umm, anyone heard what she said?"

"Dunno, but she's not happy."

The pegasus flew away, leaving two bewildered humans.

"Okay, we are not in fucking America now!" Weasel yelled.

"No doubt, we need to find out where we are." John said, still in shock.

"Right, let's move."

*GRRR!!!*

"Did you hear that?" John said shortly after. They turned and saw a red eel-like creature rush out. The two hightailed it, but the eel managed to trap their legs with boulders. Both struggled to escape, but it seemed to be the end.

Thankfully, another human was there, he jumped in front of the creature and punched it out with what appeared to be a robotic arm. He took out a weapon and fired it in between the eyes, killing the creature. He turned to the others and spoke.

"Run, I'll cover you!"

"DAYUM, Cable!"

The two men had no reason to argue and hightailed it. Along the way, they saw a some woman appear and use some kind of magic to restrain another eel.

"So, how's it going?"

"Better days have been lived." Cable responded, shooting another eel.

"We need to move, like, right now!" Weasel yelled, looking at an opening to the right. The four moved quickly, and managed to escape. They were now running on adrenaline and were tiring out.

"Oh... oh fuck me, I'm tired." Weasel fell backwards, landing on his back, and letting his minigun fall to the side. Cable picked it up, and held it. Weasel noticed, and just deadpanned.

"Just take it, it's too heavy for this little ol' weasel. AWW!"

"Alright then."

"Do I still have to carry this?" John said, holding up his Ray Gun.

"Ehhh, you know what, you chickened out and didn't use that, gimmi!" Weasel took the Ray Gun, and it brought the attention of the woman.

"What is that?"

"This thing? This is a weapon, very dangerous."

"That's all you're saying?"

"...Yes, yes."

"Fine then."

"Yeah yeah, name's Cable." The cyborg held out his human hand, which John shook.

"Pleasure to meet you, m-my name is John."

"And you can just call me Weasel."

"I thought your name was Albert."

"I also go by Weasel, don't ask how I got the name, just don't."

"Okay then, my name is Midna, Queen of the Twilight World."

"Twilight World?" Weasel asked.

"Yes."

"Oh wow, just like in my comic strips, I can show you when we are not going to die!"

"I never did get to see those comics."

"You will soon enough, Johnny. You will soon enough."

"Well that's nice to hear guys, but you might want to pack on a few more men before we go out."

Everyone turned to see a man with brown hair, sunglasses and karate pants. Next to him was a massive man, dressed in some kind of robes, and having a massive beard. The sunglasses-wearing man step forward.

"Name's Johnny, Johnny Cage. I'm a fighter. This big guy here is name Rubeus Hagrid, and he prefers to be called by his last name, I dunno why."

"You know, I don't know either."

"Well, Hagrid just rolls off the tongue better than Rubeus, don't you think?"

"I guess so."

"Okay then... you're big." Weasel said.

"And you need a shower, badly." Cage said.

Weasel sniffed his underarm, and recoiled in disgust.

"Ugg, you have a point."

"Yeah, umm, guys, we need to move, NOW!" Cable said as he hefted the Meat Grinder effortlessly. The group wandered for a couple days, before noticing a sign of humanity.

"Hey, it's a car, right over there." Cable pointed to the direction of the car.

"Where?" Weasel took out a pair of binoculars and looked at the Lamborghini.

"That don't look like any car I ever seen. And it's going pretty fast for a car."

"What's a car?" Midna asked.

"Wait, Weasel's right, it's going way fast. Hide!" Cage jumped into a nearby ditch, with the others following suit. The vehicle dashed by, leaving the six strangers confused.

"Okay, we're following it!" Hagrid yelled, climbing out.

"Wait, we don't know where it's going."

"John, I smelled a corpse, probably going to that graveyard we passed by."

"How'd you... never mind, this is some freaky shit going on here, and I starting to lose my sanity, again!" Weasel took out his Blundergat and proceeded to run toward the graveyard, with the others following suit.

"And then, we ended up seeing you fight that monster, and I was saying 'Nikolai, we have to help that bastard, he's my friend!' And the rest saw the rest of you and decided to help, except you John, you said that you were not a fighter, and hid behind a tombstone."

"You bitched out, wimp." Deadpool said. "As a matter of fact, since you did that, I'm making you into my sidekick!"

"What?" John stepped back.

"No Wade!" David objected.

"But..."

"NO!" All the people who knew Wade yelled.

"Aww, I was gonna make you New Bob."

"New Bob?" Midna asked.

"My whimsical sidekick. He is the best guy to call when you need someone to run away from stuff, and also other stuff. He never should have joined HYDRA, they don't even offer dental."

"BASTARDS!" Nikolai yelled.

"...Okay then, I guess we're gonna have to bring you into this society." David offered.

"And Midna, we have much to catch up on."

"I guess I really did see you later." Midna said with a smile.

"Wow, you should rent a room and... GAH!"

David brought Wade to his face, by the neck and spook in a low tone.

"Do not, fuck this up. Got it?"

"...Yes."

"Good." David tossed Wade out the window, with the merc screaming until he hit the ground. John for the most-part was thoroughly shocked that David would do that.

"I'm okay!" Wade yelled from the ground. A three story drop would not kill most people, but it'd hurt them.

"What happened to you David?"

"I became a jerk John, I became an a-hole."

"Well now, we should lead you back to the castle now." Stryker said.

"Yeah yeah, I'm starving! What does a guy have to do to get a steak around here?" Johnny asked no one in particular.

"Umm, find a gryphon restaurant."

"Alright, show me!"

"I don't know this place."

"Can you at least give us nice beds?"

"Well Albert, we can give you residence in Canterlot Castle until we arrange some built homes for you twelve." Celestia said.

"Sweet!" Deadpool said as he teleported in.

"How'd you..."

"Teleporter Canadian. I'm just gonna say Canada in the vicinity of you for the rest of my time here. Canada."

"Why..."

"Canada."

"Wade..."

"CANA-FUCKING-DA!!!" Deadpool took out his MP7's fired into the ceiling.

"Oh my GOD!"

Okay, we're ending here... poor John, can't get a break, can he?

Author's Notes:

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