Princess Celestia was going through the royal prophecies. She had heard Discord mention once of a great evil coming, and an even force against it. But she had no idea what to do about it. And his vagueness didn't help. If only things were so easy, but this was real life, and real life has its difficulties. As she looked through, one scroll caught her attention. It predates even Discord's reign judging by the age. The fact that it was so well preserved meant that it was important, and possibly objectionable. She opened it and gasped.

"The Prophecy of Corrupted Harmony!"

She read the ancient tome and saw 6 things that were nothing that she wanted in her world.

"Humans, dammit."

"Sister?"

Celestia looked to her sister, Luna, and smiled.

"Yes?"

"What could make you curse at this point in our lives? Aren't we immortal and understanding?"

"Yes, but this tomb here could very well be the worst news I've ever read."

"Why? It is ancient!"

"Yes, but it is from 'The Alliance of Futures.'"

Luna gasped. They have predicted the future with perfect precision. If this is true...

"Tia, is this a foretelling of disaster?"

"No, but according to this, it is supposed to happen today."

A royal guard came bursting in the room. "Your highnesses! We have reports of six strange creatures in Ponyville."

"What! We'll go immediately!" Celestia said. "Luna, come along as well!"

"Yes sister!"

The two went off to the chariot, unaware that they were going to see things that would make a normal pony sick to their very core.

David, Stryker, Nikolai, Link, Harry and Deadpool were all panting after so much running. Deadpool recovered first, mainly due to higher endurance.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"I... don't know." Replied Stryker.

"Oh, this makes Nikolai confused, I need drink!" Nikolai then proceeded to chug the whole bottle of vodka down. David seemed to be disgusted by the Russian, but kept his mouth shut about the matter.

"I think we just discovered interdimensional travel, and ended up in a world full of talking ponies. Why must the God that possibly doesn't exist torment me like this?"

"I don't bloody know," Replied Harry. "I just know that this is a new world, and we need to go back."

Link just stood there, not talking. He'd rather try to find a way back home. But if he has to fight his way there, then so be it.

You know, you don't seem so bad anymore. That guy drinking excessively seems intolerable.

Aw, thanks for giving me a case of 'I don't care!'

I hate you.

"You know..." Deadpool said, "I think this is a start of a new adventure!"

"I agree with Deadpool! We need to find bar now."

David glared at Nikolai. Stupid drunk.

Harry decided to talk. "Whatever, we need to know each other before we go out and fight for our chance to go home."

"Yep, I'll introduce myself first!" Wade cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, My name is Wade Wilson. I go by many names: the Merc with the Mouth, The Guy Who Won't Die, THE KICKER OF MANY ASSES!" Deadpool continued to ramble on, Link seemed to be annoyed by the man.

Ugg, this man seems to be incredibly arrogant!

"And I'm available for Missions, Black Ops, Assassinations, and Birthday parties!" Deadpool finished off by pulling out a party blower and making it expand with his breath.

Yeah, blow that thang!

We are so getting prestige from these guys.

"I don't know what's more crazy, him, or the fact that we're stuck with him." Stryker said, getting a nod from Link.

Nevermind.

"Clap in 15 seconds."

"Why?" Nikolai, Harry, David, and Stryker said at the same time.

"Just wait..." Deadpool turned around and walked slowly. After about 5 seconds, he turned around and shot a manticore that was about to pounce onto David in the head with his MP7. The five humans were shocked, and the guys who asked 'Why?' clapped at this feat, but Link did not.

"Hey you! Clap."

Link closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened his eyes, he saw Deadpool giving him the stink eye.

Link seemed a bit creeped out by this, but he'd rather not anger him further.

Kurtis looked at Harry, and got a suspicious look. David noticed this.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like that guy over there is hiding something."

"What could he be hiding?"

"I don't know, but it ain't good."

David shrugged and looked at the drunk.

"You know, your liver going to be shot if you continue drinking."

"Fuck you! I do what I want!"

"What! Don't talk to me like that!"

"You know, you are bitching like fourth wife, I hated her!"

"I don't like you."

"Neither do I." Nikolai reached for his sickle to use. Link noticed and separated the two.

"I still don't like you, you drunk."

"Neither do I, Bourgeoi."

David noted the use of the word bourgeoi. Great, a communist. I hate soviets.

What's a soviet?

Forget it.

"Well, I guess since I just got in verbal fight, I'll go next. I am Nikolai Belinski, armed and drunk." Nikolai said as he pulled out his sickle and a bottle of vodka, not necessarily in that order. Harry noticed one thing.

"Is that blood?"

Nikolai looked at the blade and said, "Da, zombies everywhere makes this awesome weapon, no?" Nikolai turned to see the looks of the guys faces. Needless to say, David and Link were the most surprised. Stryker did know that Raiden revived Liu Kang as a zombie, Harry wouldn't discount the undead, and Deadpool had a zombie head as a companion once or twice. Link got out of his shock first however and said nothing. David however...

"How, what, you..."

"I think you just broke." Nikolai said with a smug grin.

David gave Nikolai a glare and proceeded to prepare his introduction.

"Well, I am David, and I am just a normal guy. You go next." David said pointing to Harry, who nodded in return.

"Well, that was vague. Anyway, I am Harry Potter, and I'm like David." I don't want reveal the fact that I'm a wizard.

Why not?

Too risky, and that officer is staring at me in a suspicious way.

Oh!

"Well," Stryker started off, "I am Kurtis Stryker, S.W.A.T. Officer."

Link looked at Stryker. What's a swat officer?

Nikolai asked, "What is swat?"

"It's an acronym, Special Weapons and Tactics."

"Okay."

"What about you?" Stryker said as he pointed at Link. Link stood up, and began to speak.

"I am Link. I am an adventurer and master swordsman. This will probably be the only time you hear me talk."

"Why?" David asked.

"I prefer my actions to do my speaking."

"Okay then."

Link sat back down, and the six began to build a fire. When they were done.

"Nikolai is hungry, what do we have to eat?"

The humans just seemed to looked confused, until they stared at the dead manticore Deadpool killed.

"Well that's a no brainer." Stryker said.

I can't believe that you would...

Eww, meat!

What, you vegan?

Are you?

Sorry Twilight, I need to survive.

Eeugh, that just wrong.

Screw you, bitch.

You need food, I understand.

That's something. "I wonder if it tastes like chicken?" David asked.

That poor manticore.

Link looked around, but no girl. He shook his head then unsheathed his sword.

"Thank you my little pony, let's go sister." Celestia said as she finished talking to a witness to the 'monsters.'

"Right Tia!" Luna said.

"I just hope these humans are not violent."

Luna seemed thoughtful, but she had a thought. "I wouldn't count on it."

The six humans had finally cooked the manticore, and dug in. David was off on the taste though, it tasted more like pork rinds. To eat them chewy was awkward for the group, but it was food.

"So, Link." David said. Link looked at him. "You have other skills?"

Link was about to contemplate on telling him a few things, but Deadpool then said something.

"Whoever's there, don't come here, or I will shoot you."

Whoever listened to the warning, just ignored it. It came to the campsite. It was an alicorn, two actually.

"Dammit, why did you follow us here?" David asked.

"Please, just listen to us..."

"No, forget it! I'm out!" David got up and proceeded to walk off in a random direction. Stryker called out to David.

"David, wait!"

"NO WAY, DUDE!"

"You should not go out into the Everfree Forest alone, human!" Celestia warned.

"I don't care! Fuck you!"

Celestia didn't flinch at that insult, instead...

"We have to go after him."

"I'm with ya, strange tall pony!" Stryker said.

"Do we have to?" Nikolai asked.

"The author has to make you Nikolai, so get yo butt up and march after him!" Deadpool said.

"Fine, but we better stop by liquor store on way to jerkoff bastard."

Celestia could see that the five were all different, yet similar. Will they be the ones who'll save us?

You had to walk away, in the middle of a monster-infested forest! You are insane!

"Hey! Fuck you! I do what I want!"

You're testing my limits, David!

David just opened and closed his mouth while doing the same with his hand. He really was going to have a bad time.

"Grrrr..."

"What was that?"

I don't know.

David looked around, and saw yellow eyes.

Better run. Wait, I got a gun! David took out the M9 Stryker gave him, and pointed it at the eyes. He then slowly backed away. The creatures revealed themselves as Timberwolves. David just stood slack-jawed.

"Fuck..."

The wolves pounced, and David rolled out of the way.

Damn my lack of exercise!

You're going to die! Run!

David did as he was told, no questions asked.

Why are you helping me?

Just because you are mean, doesn't mean you should die for it.

Sounds legit.

David looked back to see the wolves running for him. David was so focused on them at that point, that he didn't notice he entered a cave until...

A landslide covered the entrance and killed the wolves. David gave sigh of relief, but he knew better.

"Better find a way out."

It's dark.

"No shit."

Must you be so vulgar?

"Must you have a pole up your nonexistent ass?"

I... grrr.

David chuckled, and saw a light. David smirked.

"Already? Must be my lucky day."

David walked through, only to see a white-glowing object.

"Maybe not, but it looks bitchin'." David looked to one side, then the other and began to reach for it.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Doing it anyway.

"I know I heard something from over there." Harry said.

"For David's sake, I hope you're right." Stryker said.

"Well the sooner we find him, the sooner we can introduce ourselves." Luna said.

"Sounds good to Nikolai."

"Are you drunk?" Celestia asked.

"I am always drunk... I think."

The group came to the landslide area, one that the princesses know all-too-well.

"Oh no. This 'David' must have entered 'The Cave'. His fate is sealed." Celestia said in solemn tone.

"What do you mean?" Stryker asked.

"That cave has a treasure that took more lives than the long-dormant traps that used to protect it."

"WHAT!"

"So David is dead, right?" Nikolai said.

"Only if he touches the treasure. We have to dig him out, now!"

All except for Nikolai began to dig. Nikolai only joined in when he was promised vodka for his work. When they managed to dig it out, they saw lights and heard... revving?

David was almost touching it, Rarity begged him not to take it. Her pleas fell on deaf ears as David grabbed it, and immediately regretted it.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The pain consumed David as he dropped to the ground, the energy absorbing into David's body. He could die any moment from this power.

Why me?

You touched it.

David was weakening, his vision fading. He was close to death.

"NO!!!!" David slowly got up, and walked towards the pedestal. Sheer willpower and perseverance was making David go to the energy, and touch it again.

What are you doing!

Something stupid!

David held on, and soon his every oravice began to release light. It grew until it disappeared and David was on the ground, panting. The glowing object also disappeared.

"Damn, that was... intense."

You just lucked out.

"Maybe, but I'm alive. Heh heh." David looked at his arm, and perked an eyebrow.

Does my arm look different?

He then noticed his clothes felt... different. He looked down and lifted his shirt. He widened his eyes in shock.

Oh my God! I'm BUFF!

David was now in the pinnacle of physical fitness. He felt powerful. He punched the podium and was even more lucky.

"Ha ha! I am stronger than Chuck Norris!"

Who's Chuck Norris?

David ignored her, and looked at the wall. He then saw something he didn't see before.

"Holy FUCK! A car! I don't know how it got here, but thank you God! You're awesome!"

David went in. As he did, he thought about finding an Uzi and...

Holy crap, how'd that Uzi get in my hand?

Indeed, David was holding an Uzi. David then thought of holding an AUG, and got it in a flash of blue. He thought of getting a katana and got it in a flash of blue. When he didn't want it, it disappeared in a blue flash.

"Fucking A++, BITCHES!"

David finally sat down in the car. It had six seats, white leather, and a radio. There was no gas or temp. meter though.

"How do I know... You know what, if this runs, I don't give a fuck! I'm the luckiest man alive right now!"

David pushed the button to start the motor, and it ran.

"Hell yes." David looked at the radio. It was a touch-screen radio, just move through the selections and choose something. But David noted something important.

"Wow, this thing has every fucking song known to man."

Just use the damned thing.

David got silent, then said, "Fine, bitch." David choose a deadmau5 song, The Reward is Cheese. Rarity gave a contemplating noise.

You know, this song is... okay.

"At least you have a taste for progressive house." David stepped on the gas pedal. This car was an automatic transmission, so all David had to do was push the gas pedal. He soon saw he was going 50 MPH. He wanted to go faster, but...

"Hey, the entrance is open."

How?

"Maybe those guys over there.' David said, pointing to the humans at the entrance. "I'm gonna be a dick!"

Don't you...

David sped up to 125 MPH. At that point, the people at the entrance moved out of the way. David slid the car to a perpendicular position as he sped out the cave. With the driver's seat now facing the cave, David looked out the window. The people there looked panicked, so David opened the door and hopped out. Needless to say, they noticed that David was different, and that he had a car now.

"You miss me?"

The only words he heard were from Stryker, Nikolai and Deadpool. They just said three words, in unison.

"What the fuck."