David was standing on the top of the castle. He wanted to get a good look outside. David breathed in the cold mountain air and exhaled slowly.

"Ahh, this is the life."

You seem to like the night.

I do, I always prefered cold weather.

Huh, I never would have guessed.

Better believe it.

You seemed to be the kind of man who goes around randomly as well.

I like to do things without reason, always have.

Sounds like you'd get along with Pinkie Pie well.

David just smiled. He never would have expected to become friends with a voice in his head. He looked to see some shadows moving. He raised an eyebrow and decided to summon a dagger. He hopped off the building and dug the blade into the wall, slowing his descent.

The blade snapped and David fell about 100 feet down to the ground. All he could think was this.

Shit.

Link perked his head up and looked out the window. He saw a writhing David on the ground outside the castle, and immediately went outside. When he got to the superhuman, he noted that David was already getting up.

"That's it, I'll never use blades for anything besides hurting jerk-offs again!" David said, bending backwards and receiving a gratifying and audible pop in his back. Link deadpanned and went back inside.

Why even bother with him?

Because you care for him.

Yes, I guess I do. But he is so... Link tried to think of a word to describe David.

Moronic... I mean, if that works, I mean.

No, he's more naive, if not incredibly arrogant.

Well, how would you react if you were in his shoes?

Link found himself being thoughtful. What if he had the power that David had: incredible strength, increased stamina, and the ability to summon any weapon he could wish for, at just a thought. He then thought of what he got, as he took out the ocarina that somehow got in his bag of gear.

Could this instrument actually be a powerful force?

Link looked at it glimmer in the moonlight. He tried to think of a song, and played it.

David looked at the man playing the ocarina and said, "Yeah, that's okay for a beginner, but you should practice. It really sounds..." David stopped and just left it at that. Link simply glared at David, but it made sense, he never played an ocarina before.

"Hey, I just realized something, I saw something sneaking around here."

"Really?" Shining Armor asked. "What was it?"

"Well, I think it was a..."

"Tuer la Grève 782, CAPTURE THE LEADERS!"

"Not again..." David said, faceplaming.

Harry and Nikolai were traveling in the dark tunnels under Appleloosa. One thing they were able to do was find a path to the diamond dogs, Nikolai had a better sense of smell than Harry thought and the two soon found them, among other things.

"Woof, Work faster!" A diamond dog said, whipping his whip at the many slave ponies in the mine.

"Those sons of bitches," Nikolai whispered. "all should be free, even if it is capitalist system."

Harry nodded and prepared to cast a spell, but Nikolai stopped him.

"I fought for motherland against Nazis, I have snuck around to free my brothers from those bastards. Let me handle these сыновья сук." Nikolai said, taking out his sickle, and approaching the nearest dog.

What are Nazis?

Trust me, you don't want to know half the things they did.

Fine, Nikolai actually knows what he's doing, surprisingly.

Harry looked closer at the drunk and was shocked to see him approach the slaver, sickle ready to slit it's throat.

This can only end in bloodshed... Harry thought as he readied his wand.

Stryker and Deadpool ditched their costumes after a royal guard said that they had the stupidest and most paper-thin disguises in the area. So naturally, Deadpool came up with a more believable bush design for the two, to share.

"Quit shoving." Stryker said in a hushed voice.

"We have to share, don't make Yellow Caption Box enter your mind again."

Yeah, I want another go at that rainbow maned one. Rawr.

Oh brother... Must we have to...

"Shh, we got something." Deadpool said, pointing.

There were three figures: a unicorn, a gryphon and a dog-ape thing, trying to enter a house.

"Looks like we got our culprits." Stryker said as he brought out his nightstick, patting it against his palm.

"Yep, let's beat the hell out of them for stealing."

"And breaking and entering."

"That too."

And the two sneaked out of the bush and quietly went over to the trio of thieves.

"Quick, grab the goods."

"Nails and wood, this is better than buying it!"

"I just grab the screwdrivers too..."

"We really got 'em now." Stryker said as he took out his taser and equipped it with a distance shocker.

"On three... One."

The two went to the door.

"Two."

They stood in front of it.

"THREE!"

Stryker kicked down the door and yelled, "STOP THIEVES!"

The steelers were shocked to see to creatures kick down the door, holding something, and took out crowbars to fight with.

"Big mistake." Stryker said.

David and Link drew their weapons, David using an M16A4 and Link drawing his Hero's Bow. David hit the car which made the radio activate.

"Well well, looks like a good day to die," David said in a calm tone cocking his gun. "for you foreign-ish bastards."

Shining Armor and Cadence were backing away from the humans, and then the PMC attacked.

The song had a drop and the two warriors stuck the many warriors. David's weapon was 3-round burst fire only, but he he didn't need to use anything more. A burst blew apart a PMC's head apart, revealing the bloodied brain.

"Ugh, smells like cheap tomato sauce."

Ugh, I think I'm spending too much time with you, I'm not even shocked at this.

I guess. David replaced his M16 with a RPK light machine gun, and began to fire at the PMCs while striding.

You seem to know what you're doing.

I planed on joining the military and done my research, more excessively than I should have.

David rolled towards a pillar to protect himself.

Way too excessive, definitely.

As David began to fire again, Link was shooting arrows at the soldiers, getting perfect headshots.

EEP, how are you so good at... archery?

Practice, this is self-taught you know.

You had to learn yourself?

Yes, it took me a few weeks, but I became the archer you see now.

Wow. He's so smart... How can you be mine, Link?

Link noticed a few of them not flinching at the shots. Then he realized why.

Armored, that is not good. Link ran back a bit and checked his arrow count.

60 arrows. Wait... Link checked his bombs and found that he had 60 bombs to use.

By Din's grace, I got it! Link had tied the bombs to some arrows and lit the fuse on one of them. He aimed at the most armored of them all, a Minotaur with a crossbow, pulled back, then released.

David looked at what he just saw and looked at Link.

"That some Rambo-ass bullshit there Link!" David yelled out. Link managed to block out the vulgarity, it was really unnecessary. He looked at a dragon and aimed, but then readjusted midway to aim for the mouth.

The dragon's head was now everywhere but the neck. A piece of tongue landed on David's head, and he was not amused.

"Okay then, I guess I should finish this." David said as he hit the car again, changing the song.

David summoned a six-chambered grenade launcher and aimed at a group of charging enemies.

"Lick it!" David fired a shot and hit in front of the group. They were scared at the two men now.

"RETREAT! THIS BATTLE IS HOPELESS!"

The rest of the group noted and soon left. David enjoyed it the most.

"Yeah! And don'cha come on back now, you hear!" David said in a very bad mix of his regular accent, a southern accent and a Bostonian accent. He looked at the others and said only one thing while shrugging.

"What?"

Shining Armor looked at the throne room and saw carnage everywhere. A dragon was headless and it's neck was still bleeding, multiple dead bodies, more blood than he had ever seen, and to top it all off, one of them had spelling on its chest from what seemed to be a knife that said...

Needless to say, Shining Armor lost his dinner, and was mentally scarred.

"Well, let's clean up and leave this place Link!" David said as he moved towards the dragon to drag out of the throne room. Link nodded as he picked up a body of a pegasus and moved for clean up. A guard went up to the two rulers.

"We'll clean up, you two better go rest, and look for some therapy."

The two nodded and just went to their bedroom, blank looks plastered on their faces.

"There, dog is knocked out." Nikolai said as he took a drink of vodka. Harry was surprised when sheathed his sickle and took a rock instead to take out the guard. There were three more to take care off though.

"I guess I'll follow your lead."

"Да, let us go with stealth, Nikolai likes change of pace." Nikolai said as he took a large gem and pocketed it.

Why are ya takin' that?

In case of emergency.

What emergency?

Let Nikolai work, okay Jack!

Ya know damn well Ah hate that nickname.

Blah blah blah, like second wife.

Grrr...

Nikolai had snuck up to another diamond dog and smashed his head with the rock. It made a dull thud sound, but the whipping was blocking out the noise. Nikolai dragged the diamond dog behind a rock and went up to the wizard.

"Okay, we save these ponies, then drink." Nikolai said to resummarize his plan. Harry just shook his head and grabbed a hefty rock.

I'm glad there is no killing, yet...

Why yet?

Do I even need to ask?

Harry nodded at this, it seemed that violence was inevitable for the humans. In this case, it was very lighthearted compared to the others.

The two humans snuck up to the last two diamond dogs.

"WOOF! Work faster!" The dog said raising his whip. When he swung it, he noticed something was grabbing it. He turned to see Harry holding a rock.

"What the..." He never got to finish the sentence when he got smacked in the face, knocked out cold. There were 11 ponies that had looks of terrified curiosity at the human.

"Don't worry," Harry said as he took out his wand. "I'm here to help." Harry aimed at the locks of the ponies.

"Relashio!"

The spell hit the locks and the bindings broke. The ponies smiled at this, but knew that they had to get out before they can truly relax. Nikolai had been picking the lock of a pony's chains, but a spell finished for him, so he drank instead.

"Okay, let us get out of shit hole and maybe kick dog ass. Then, we drink." Nikolai said as he finished yet another bottle of vodka. The ponies looked at the Russian with disgust and intrigue, and looked at the wizard.

"Okay, let's go."

The group of 13 soon were on their way. After about 16 minutes of wandering, they made it to an exit.

"There is exit, haul ass!" Nikolai ordered. The ponies did so quickly, but were stopped by a massive shove.

"WOOF WOOF! Why aren't you working?" The leader asked. He was a bulky dog, a black coat and a purple shirt. He had yellow eyes and had cuffs that had jewels encrusted in it. He then looked at the humans.

"Oh look, more labor. Me gonna like to use you! WOOF!"

"We're not going to submit to you." Harry said, ready to fight.

"Да, nopony should have to be anypony's bitch without a good humane reason."

Harry looked at Nikolai with a confused look. "What, can't I speak like locals?"

Harry just shook his head and aimed his wand at the dog.

"WOOF! You're going to regret that. RUFUS! FIDO! COME HERE!"

Two massive diamond dogs came to join the leader and were armed with clubs.

"Wow, air is heavy with stench of dog shit. Better fix it with gunpowder." Nikolai said as he took out an EPC WN to fight the trio.

The diamond dogs attacked.

"Aqua Eructo!" Harry had summoned a large jet stream of water against the one charging at him. The dog stumbled back and fell backwards.

Nikolai tried to fired his gun but...

"Shit, out of... ammo." A diamond dog blew a dust into Nikolai's lungs, causing him to choke.

"Nikolai! Stupefy" Harry cast the spell and hit the diamond dog that blew the dust, knocking him out. Harry then ran to the drunk and held his wand to his throat.

"Anapneo!" Nikolai took in a huge breath of air and was now ready to fight again.

"Thank you comrade Harry." Nikolai said as he reloaded.

Harry nodded as he saw a wet dog charge after him.

"Ascendio!" The spell hit the dog and launched him into the ceiling, knocking him out.

"Grr... Last time Me let lackeys fight for me. You now face me!" The leader said as he took out a massive club to fight with, and charged.

"Expelliarmus!"

A flash of light and the diamond dog is disarmed and was soon face to face with a gun.

"Meet Calamity, and Jane!" Nikolai said, holding two modified CZ75s before shooting 'Jane' at the dog's face, killing him.

"Ha ha, let us go now, and ignore this guy, then we block exit, then we drink." Nikolai said, garnering accepting murmurs from the ponies. The thirteen went out and went through the process of blocking the entrance to prevent any followers.

A earth pony royal guard was on patrol in the casino zone. He had been told that a few stallions were looking into the recent larceny cases and that they were reliable. He looked to the left to see a unicorn, a gryphon and a diamond dog, all in chains and were clearly roughed up. Leading them was a man in a strange armor, and another in what looked like a full-body spandex suit. The armored one walked up to him and handed him a chain.

"Got your thieves, write 'em up."

The guard had a skeptical look, but these guys did fit the description from eyewitnesses. "Very well, thank you." He then grabbed the chain with his mouth and proceeded to trot over to the HQ. As he did, he overheard one tidbit of information.

"Now that that's over with, GAMBLING!"

"Hell yeah, Deadpool!"

These guys are totally going to lose every bit they have.