Shining Armor and his wife, Cadence were in the throne room. After somepony was discovered trying to poison their food, they been worried that somepony wants them dead. They knew that Princess Celestia would help them, Shining Armor was the ex-captain of the royal guard and Cadence was Celestia's niece. And they heard that some new elite group was formed for the purpose of protection services. Shining Armor was still skeptical.

"What's wrong Shining?" Cadence asked with worry in her voice, obvious.

"I don't really know if these 'elite guards' will be able to protect us. I mean, we don't even know if they are ponies or even if they are even bitter changelings in disguise."

Cadence rolled her eyes and walked to her husband. "Don't worry Shining, if my aunt is trusting them, then I do. She is a smart pony."

Shining Armor still skeptical, but he knew that Cadence had a point.

"Alright, I just wondering wh..."

"What the..."

"Guards, find out what that..."

The doors were kicked open, revealing two bipedal figures, one clad in green and the other one had glasses. Shining Armor, Princess Cadence and some guards in the room were ready for combat. The glasses-wearing figure walked forward and spoke.

"Hey, is that any way to say hello to your new bodyguards?"

Shining Armor was confused, until this creature showed him a familiar decree. Shining Armor looked at it and then did it again, and again. Once it became brutally clear that these two were the new bodyguards, he stood down. He had to know a few things first.

"What are your names?"

"I'm David and that guy's Link, and we're humans."

Okay, two questions down... "Why are you here?"

"Hell if I know, I just am." Said David.

You just are? Seem suspicious. "Well, tell me what really happened at the Changeling negotiations."

"A bloodbath for a terrorist organization, I don't remember their names."

"Tuer la Grève 782." The man known as Link said.

"Right, thanks Link. He doesn't speak much, only when necessary."

Shining Armor nodded, but he knew if Tuer la Grève 782 was involved, that would mean that Celestia is in trouble.

"So, you ready to see how I do my job, and how Link does his?" David asked.

"Of course, just please... please don't go overboard." Cadence said.

"No promises." David said as he went to the doors outside.

"Aren't you..."

David just went out for a few minutes, before coming in, before pushing in a massive machine. Shining Armor raised an eyebrow, but knew one thing.

This'll be one heck of an evening.

"We are now at Appleloosa!"

"Finally! Я становился надоевшим!" Nikolai said. He had woken up earlier when Harry popped open the cork to a bottle of vodka and immediately grabbed it to drink. The strange duo walked out of the train and looked at where they were.

"Huh, seems like a stereotypical American western town." Harry noted.

"That means that... Hell yeah! VODKA!"

"Nikolai," Harry said, grabbing Nikolai's shirt to pull towards himself. "We must find out what to do about these 'diamond dogs' first."

"Do we have to? It seems like much work."

Says the man who values hard work more than other work.

Are you saying that Nikolai is hypocritical? "I was just joking Harry, I want to kick ass, while drunk!"

"Fine, Let's go."

"Alright, let me check money. Come on... Ah fuck, that stripper is going to be dead when I get back home."

I don't even want to know.

"Well, I guess..."

An explosion brought upon a west side saw two figures fly towards them. After a few minutes, the figures landed in front of them, a buffalo and a pony. And Nikolai noted something was off between them. He looked down and then stared blankly.

"Nikolai, are you okay?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Nikolai answered. "Look down."

Harry raised an eyebrow, did so, and regretted it.

Is that mah cousin Braeburn, with Little Strongheart?

The drunk human didn't answer, instead, he looked at his bottle of vodka, and downed the whole drink. Harry just stared blankly. Braeburn looked at the two humans and nervously chuckled.

"He he, howdy. Welcome to Appleloosa... hah hah hooohh."

Nikolai finished drinking, and then gave mighty belch.

My brain am damaged now, thank you.

Same here.

Stryker and Deadpool looked at the map of recent larceny cases from the portfolio they had received from the royal guard there. They did note one thing.

"It seems that these crimes don't really steal money, more like supplies." Stryker pointed out.

"What kind?" Deadpool asked.

"Tools and nails, the sort of stuff you'd need to build something."

"Building? Who would need to steal to build something?"

You did it a few times before.

Yeah, you even stole from Norman Osborn's credit card to pay for Taskmaster's services.

How is that related to what we just said?

I thought we were talking about stealing.

Yeah right, that's not even a good thing to talk about anyway.

Fine. You have a sexy a...

"Hey, guys! I think I know how to handle this."

"How Wade?" Stryker asked.

"We find a pattern, predict the next case, then beat the hell out of those stealers when we jump 'em!"

Stryker just looked at the merc. "So, you mean a stakeout?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, I don't see any reason not to."

The two shook hands and went on to find a pattern in the crime wave.

If seeing a species you never even know existed kicked down your door, walked to you menacingly and said that he was going to be your bodyguard would make you worry, then Shining Armor was justified in having even more worries about the humans then the assassins. It becomes more apparent when one sharpens his sword away from the other who is playing strange music from his contraption. Needless to say, they were wondering what Celestia was thinking. Link looked at his sword, twirled it a few times, then sheathed it. Cadence looked at her husband and talked.

"Shining, I know Celestia means best, but was it really smart to send these two over here?"

"Now Cadence, they may seem strange, well at least the one with glasses is, but if Celestia sent them here, then she must know something will go right."

David walked towards the two and spoke. "Besides, would you rather have a drunk and a wizard, or a cop and a certifiably insane mercenary?"

Shining noted that each had a good choice and a bad choice. He guessed a man with strange habits and a swordsman was better than the other choices, so he nodded.

"Good! I'll check the roof!"

"Now why would you..."

"No time! Leaving!" David said as he jumped through the window and grabbed a vine along the wall to climb the wall.

"That human is crazy." Cadence said, getting a nod from everyone in the room.

So far, everything seemed to out of the ordinary for the couple, but then again, when was Equestria normal?

Nikolai and Harry were at the apple fields that seemed to have these heckling diamond dog attacks after getting about 10 gallons of mind bleach and using it all.

"So, this is where stupid dogs are."

"Diamond dogs... I wonder why they would just attack random ponies and kidnap them."

"Slave labor?" Nikolai offered. Harry didn't want it to be so, but...

"That might be so, we have to find the way to them."

"How about hole next to us?"

Harry looked to see a hole literally next to the two. Harry was now getting more and more surprised.

How the bloody hell does he notice these things and I don't?

I don't know, stupid luck?

Harry shook his head, this place was bloody weird. Small wonder he hasn't snapped yet.

The two jumped in and were encompassed with darkness.

"It is dark down here." Nikolai pointed out.

Thank you fer pointin' out the obvious.

You are bitch, like first wife.

Harry just lit up his wand in response. What he saw just made his eye twitch.

"Oh come on! There are multiple paths!"

"Wow, I need drink." Nikolai said as he took a gulp of vodka.

This will end badly.

"Wade, you sure we should be hiding like this?"

"Yes, be quiet, except for the head voices."

"Fine."

The duo were in front of where they thought the next case of larceny was going to be disguised as trees in a clearly treeless city, but Deadpool was insane enough to think it up as a disguise.

This guy is out of his gourd.

Totally.

Luna was pacing back and forth in the throne room. Unlike Celestia, she had doubts about the capableness of the six humans. But she knew that she had no say in this, so she just looked out the now being repaired window.

"When you make a major mistake, so help me, I will banish you humans."

And with that, she left to the castle spa to relax. She would need to after what happened so far.