Things were boring for the six humans. Link and Harry were exploring the town, Nikolai and Deadpool were drinking in Sweet Apple Acres, away from prying eyes, and David and Stryker were exploring the countryside in the 'Super-Lamborghini.' Needless to say, it was a quiet evening.

The next song played in the playlist.

"You like?" David asked.

"Of course." Stryker said.

This is good.

This is bitchin'!

Bitchin'? Didn't think you ponies swore.

What adult pony doesn't swear from time to time?

Touche.

"This is the radio edit though." David pointed out.

"Alright, what's next?"

"Hmm..." David thought about it, and went with something.

The beat began to play

Another deadmau5 song?

Nope!

What is.. you have quite vulgar tastes.

Yep!

A build-up began, the synths built up as the song's name repeated in increasing volume.

I guess this is the last set?

Yep!

This is even better! It more my mood!

Why even argue with something that's a fact.

Awesome!

You like it, so I won't complain.

"This is the Wolfgang Gartner remix of Sorry for Party Rocking, by LMFAO. You like it, Stryker?"

"It's okay, not really my real type of music."

"Whatever, lets see how fatass is doing."

"You really hate Nikolai, don't you?"

"Yep."

You and me both. He is absolutely disgusting!

When was the last time he took a shower, 9 years ago?

Maybe longer, UGH!

The two humans drove straight to Sweet Apple Acres where they saw the two men get drunk, or at least Deadpool was trying to.

"Man, can't I get drunk and watch Teletubbies while I embarrass myself in front of Blind Al?" Deadpool remarked.

"I don't know. Is Blind Al a man?"

"No, woman."

Nikolai was silent for a few seconds before saying, "MILF?"

"GMILF."

"Okay. Nikolai can hit that... If she is still hot."

"Yeah." Deadpool looked to see a familiar car waiting for them.

"Look, my pick-up's here Nick, I better go."

"Okay, bye you magnifi..." Nikolai then felt a familiar churning feeling in his stomach. He stood up and went behind the tree. Seconds later, a belch, some lights, and he came back with a scroll.

"I guess that means work time." Nikolai said.

"Sweet!" The two rushed to the car, and went in.

"Hey, David! Take this!" Nikolai said, giving David a scroll. He opened it and read it.

David crumpled the scroll, tossed it in the glove compartment and drove off.

"What was the letter?" Stryker asked.

"A new mission, she better have a good one."

"Why are we doing these jobs for her?" Nikolai asked.

"Easy, funding. You apparently use it for alcohol, but the rest of us use it for more long term... uses."

You mean investments.

Right, thanks!

Don't think a thing about it.

"Well," Deadpool started off. "I bet this adventure is going to take a Mistershield and split us up for once."

"Mister-what now?" Stryker said.

"Mistershield, you know, writes Humans Assemble, Author made suggestions for that story with Eddie Riggs, Ryu, and BLU Spy, the last one in the story for sure."

Stryker just sat there, with a blank look on his face.

"Nevermind." Deadpool said, crossing his arms in disappointment.

David saw two figures near the outskirts and knew they were who he was looking for. After a few moments, he stopped in front of Link and Harry with a skid. Harry rolled his eyes, already used to David's antics. Link was more focused on the vehicle, this would make carriages obsolete in Hyrule if this were recreated, for sure. The two entered the car and David drove off to Canterlot.

"So, what is it?" Harry asked.

"A job, we're going to Canterlot." David responded, putting on some glam metal.

"Hmm..."

What is it?

The princess is more willing to let us do more... dirty jobs than others.

From what I saw, David practically gave out a bloodbath.

He seems to be violent man. I wonder why. This is a good song though.

Yeah, I like it.

David was approaching the castle and decided to go straight for it. He drove along the cliffside. Stryker noticed.

"Umm, David... Are you..."

David just looked at Stryker, and smirked and drove along the cliff.

"DAVID!"

David went faster and eventually drove off, aimed for a stained glass window of Luna's return. The five humans panicked, but Nikolai was making the most noises.

Celestia looked to see a familiar vehicle crash through the window of her throne room. She facehooved.

Clearly, he ignored that last tidbit of information I gave him. She calmly trotted to the car and saw the group get out. Most of them were clearly shaken up from the 'accident' David caused.

"You know, I have to pay for these property damages." Celestia said.

"And I said to take it out of my pay. Now, tell us what is important."

Celestia nodded and motioned for the guards to move the car out. She then spoke.

"There are actually a few thing I need you to do."

"A few?" Deadpool said.

Oh hey, you were right.

I'm now scared.

Me too.

"Yes Wade, and so, I need you six to split into pairs."

David raised an eyebrow and looked at the other five. He could choose his new best friend to be his partner, but instead.

"Link, you want to team up?"

Link looked at David with a curious look.

Why me, and not Stryker?

I don't know.

Link nonetheless nodded. Stryker was surprised that David didn't choose him first.

"Yo, Copta! You wanna join me in asskicking?"

Stryker looked at who talked, Deadpool, and thought about it.

"Why not." He said.

"I am guessing that leaves Harry and me to do, shit." Nikolai said before taking a drink of vodka. Harry looked at the other four humans with a look that said 'Seriously guys?'.

"I believe so." Celestia said. "Now, David, Link. I have reason to believe that my niece and ruler of the Crystal Empire, Queen Mi Amore Cadenza is in danger and needs help. I believe you two should go."

"Okay, north was it?" David said.

"Yes. Nikolai, Harry. I have heard report of my subjects getting harassed in Appleloosa by Diamond Dogs. You two might be of some help."

"How are we getting there?" Harry asked.

"You'll take a midnight train there."

"Oh good! I hate flying. It is reason why I didn't join air force." Nikolai said.

Celestia nodded in understanding, then turned to Stryker and Wade.

"As for you two, Las Pegasus has had some recent rises in larceny cases. You two should find out why."

"No worries, my job deals with domestic issues. Larceny and the whatnot are nothing new to me." Stryker said.

"Good! You six will depart immediately, Stryker and Deadpool will go via chariot. Nikolai and Harry, here is a decree that'll allow you on the train and back. David and Link, you have that 'car', right?"

"Yes."

"Good! You understand what you need to do?"

The humans nodded.

"Excellent. You may leave now."

The humans soon left. Celestia looked out the window and realized something.

"Oh my, I think they should have some things for tonight after all."

David and Link were driving over to the Crystal Empire. Link was looking at the contraption Celestia had given him. David glanced over and began to talk.

"Those are night-vision goggles. They allow you see in the dark."

Link looked at David with confusion.

Goggles that can see in the dark, I don't believe it. Link thought, shaking his head.

"You know, I don't use 'em either. It makes me see all green, I don't like that."

Link raised an eyebrow, but understood. He did know some subtle differences in certain shades of green. He looked to see the kingdom coming up.

"Must be that Crystal Empire or something. Get ready." David said as he put on a song. Link merely shook his head.

He's a crazy man. But he's our crazy man.

He's a nice guy when you get to know him on a personal level, right?

Indeed.

David drove over a rock and was now in the Crystal Empire. David U-turned and drove next to the guards next to the entrance of the empire. David showed them the decree from Celestia for a few dozen seconds, and they nodded, clearly confused, but not showing it. David drove off to the castle and smirked.

"Something will go horribly right today Link, I just know it!"

Link looked at David.

Doesn't he mean horribly wrong?

Even I can't tell anymore.

Nikolai was drinking in his seat and looked over to Harry, who was looking out the window with a look on his face.

"Hey, what is wrong Harry?"

"I, just miss my wife." Harry said in a solemn tone.

"So, I have lost 9 wives, and look at me."

Harry looked at Nikolai and noted a few things: he smells bad, he has a drinking problem, and he is covered in blood.

"Right, look at you."

Using yerself as an example was a really bad idea, Nikolai.

Fuck you!

Applejack just sighed. Nikolai was not going to have a good life ahead of him with his drinking habit.

"Well," Nikolai started off. "what about the killing? When are doing that?"

"The princess said it'll be about 30 minutes until we reach the town about 10 minutes ago." Harry responded.

"Okay, that means we drink!"

"No, I don't want to drink."

"Okay, more for Nikolai." Nikolai then proceeded to take a few gulps of vodka.

And pass out drunk. Harry looked at Nikolai and sighed.

Great, as if loneliness wasn't enough.

Now we have a passed out drunk.

Harry proceeded to find something to wake the drunk up. He had 20 minutes so time was of the essence. Twilight did notice something else about Harry.

You know, we never found out what changed about you. Link got that ocarina, but even he didn't know why it should have been used.

I know, it is strange. I guess I haven't used my magic much, maybe it relates to that.

We can only wait and see, I guess.

Yep. Harry had grabbed a bottle of vodka from the trains cooking deck, left some bits and went back to where Nikolai was. Once he sat down, he grabbed the cork.

This better work.

I'm going to ask that mare out!

How? You're stuck in this insane man's mind.

Yo mother!

That' not even a response to what I said.

Yo father!

Just, just stop.

That's what she said.

Deadpool laughed out loud. Stryker looked at the mercenary.

"Thought of something funny?" Stryker asked.

"Yeah, that's what she said." Deadpool replied, laughing. Stryker was not amused.

That's not funny. Not at all.

Nope. This chariot is definitely stable in these winds.

Yeah, the reason is...

Heyo!

What the! Who are you?

Name's Yellow Caption Box, you wanna go on a date?

NO! I don't even know you!

Come on!

No.

Come on.

No.

Come on sexy!

OWW! WAHH! WAHH!

Wimp, he left.

The hell was that about?

"Stryker, why are you looking confused? I mean, I know I'm crazy but I'm not doing any..."

AHHH! AHHH!

What is it?

I asked her out, and she slapped me! Hooves hurt a lot more than hands. WAHH!

Oh, come here. MMWHA!

Thanks, I feel better already.

Yep.

Wanna go out again?

Don't push it, touchy.

Aww.

Deadpool just stood there with a bored look under his mask. "Nevermind, looks like we are here and HOLY CRAP, THIS IS SIN CITY!"

Stryker raised an eyebrow and looked over. He saw lights and neon all over the place. Casino and bars and hotels.

The pony equivalent of Las Vegas! Jackpot!

The two high-fived and were now anxious to get over to Las Pegasus to find out the larceny cases, and maybe hit the blackjack tables too.

"Master! We are now ready to strike!"

"Wunderbar! Go out and perform the mission or..." The leader turned to the grunt. "Si auspica che si mai nati."

The grunt gulped. Tuer la Grève 782 were known for their multilingual skills. But sometimes, it becomes a more powerful threat when spoken in another language.

"Do I make myself clear?" The leader said.

"Yes! I will give the green light."

"Excellent."

The leader was willing to accept that these humans killed some of his troops, but he won't accept that they were going to stop him every time.

Soon, they'll all fall to me! The leader laughed and laughed. There was evil in the laughter and it showed, that Tuer la Grève 782 was willing to die for their cause.

Laughter.

Author's Notes:

Arc 2 (Missions and Tests)