So… Much… Pain.

There is not a single part of your entire body that doesn’t hurt. Your legs feel like they’re on fire. Your arms are aching terribly. Your head is spinning, even with your eyes tightly shut. Even your toes are in pain.

You attempt to move your arms, but, shockingly enough, you are in far too much pain to do as much as wiggle your fingers.

You don’t know if it’s daytime or what. Your eyes are closed, and you can’t open them, try as you might.

You decide to just lie in the position you are currently in. Not like you have a choice.

‘Somebody! Please! Help me!’ you find yourself shouting in your head. Every time you try to physically shout, all it results in is a violent fit of coughing, which does nothing to help your injured stomach and chest.

You don’t know if you’re bleeding. You might be. It doesn’t really matter. You’re probably going to die no matter what. It doesn’t seem like anyone is around you to help.

You’re eyes have stopped working, but you’re other senses still seem to be turned on. You can hear birds chirping, a gentle breeze going by, and people talking.

People talking…

People...?

You hear people talking! You can’t make out any words, or how far away they are, but they are definitely there. You listen intently to their conversation and pray to God that they see you. Their voices sound like whispers, but you can still barely hear them.

“Oh sweet Celestia! What is that?!” You hear a female voice with an accent say.

‘Is that British woman talking about me?’ you ask yourself. ‘What does it look like I am?! I’m a very injured man! Call an ambulance!’

“What is what?” you hear another female voice say. This one had a very thick southern accent.

‘What country am I in? Just call an ambulance! I’m going to die!’

“That thing over there!” The British accent yells. “Oh my! It looks hurt!”

‘Yes. Yes I am,’ you think very calmly. ‘Now, please, call an ambulance.’

The southern accented woman speaks next. “Woah nelly! What in the hay is that thing?”

You are getting very frustrated. ‘I’m an injured man! What does it look like! Just call a damn ambulance!’

“I do not know, Applejack.” The British one says. “But we must find Twilight right now. She’ll know what it is. But we really must get a doctor.”

‘What the hell’s an ‘Applejack’? Wait! They said doctor! Thank Christ and Muhammed and Moses! Get me to a doctor!’ You begin to feel extraordinarily lightheaded. Even more so than you did a few moments prior.

“Do y’all think we can carry him?” The southern voice inquires. “He looks a little too beat up for us to just pick ‘im up.”

You begin to feel as though you are spinning. You’re not moving, so why are you spinning all of a sudden?

“I suppose not. But then what should we do?”

“You stay here, I’ll get Twilight and Nurse Redheart. Just… make sure he don’t move none.”

That’s the last thing you heard before falling into peaceful unconsciousness…

==========

Smell. The first of your senses to return to you. You take a deep breath.

‘Eh, it smells like disinfectant,’ you think, taking another breath. ‘Way too much disinfectant.’

You decide to try and open your eyes. After a few seconds of struggling, your eyes finally squint open. You quickly take in your surroundings, as another one of your senses, hearing, turns on.

You look straight up. You see a white roof. Nothing special. You hear beeping. The kind of beeping one would hear on a heart monitor on all of those hospital shows.

You turn your head to the right and your gaze settles upon, not surprisingly, a heart monitor. You are a little worried, but more relieved that you’re finally in a hospital. And alive.

You look behind the heart monitor to see the sun high in the sky. It was one in the morning when you crashed your car. You wonder if it’s currently the day of or the day after your crash. But it doesn’t really matter. You’re alive. You hope your hospital bill isn’t too much. Health insurance only covers so much. And your car…

That thing is probably destroyed. Hopefully you can get it fixed at a decent price. If it’s still intact, that is. Cars are expensive, and you are poor.

You look down at your body. You figure you should look at the extent of your injuries. You try to lift your right arm to pull back the covers, and find out you can’t. You begin to panic a little. You crane your neck in an attempt to look at your immobile arm. You look down and see that your right shoulder is bandaged, along with the entirety of your arm, except your elbow, where tubes and cables are connected.

You try your left arm instead, which seems to be working.

You first move your left arm, which is bandaged, but not as heavily as your right arm, out from underneath the blanket. You move the blanket slowly off of yourself.

The first thing you see is your chest. You expected to see a hospital gown covering your form, but that does not appear to be the case.

‘Strange,’ you think. ‘Every patient in those hospital shows had to wear a gown. Why don’t I get one?’

It’s silly to complain about, but you have nothing else to do, so complaining is fun. And you would’ve liked to wear one of those things. They’re very fashionable. They match the curtains.

White bandages cover your chest. There are some splotches of red in a few places, but not a lot, just a few drops. You’re not very concerned. After all, you are in a hospital.

You decide to further examine your injured body. You push the covers down further to inspect your most sensitive area.

Your stomach is bandaged as well, but your exposed genitals are not. ‘Thank the Lord!’ you exclaim internally. You try to sit up to see what your legs are like. But you can’t sit up.

Your back is killing you, and refuses to allow you to move. After a few minutes of trying to reason with your sore back, you give up, and stare at the ceiling.

‘I should thank those two girls who found me,’ you think. ‘It took them a while to think logically, but if it wasn’t for them, I guess I’d still be in my wrecked car. Or wherever I was.’

You hear a few people walking down the hall. They must be wearing high heeled shoes or something because of the way their feet sound. ‘Doctors don’t wear high heeled shoes. Right?’

The people stop walking simultaneously right outside your door. One of them knocks on your door.

“Excuse me, sir,” you hear a male voice say, “Might I come in? I’m Doctor Feel-Good.”

“Of course,” you find yourself squeak out.

‘What did he say his name was?’ you question internally. You’re pretty sure you misheard. There is no way that’s his name.

Just then, the golden door knob starts glowing brown. ‘What the hell?’

The door opens entirely and in walks a… horse?

You smile. This must be a joke. A clever way to make hospital patients cheer up by dressing up a little brown horse in a lab coat, stethoscope, and glue an ice cream cone on its’ head.

Your smile immediately leaves your face as you hear the horse speak.

“Good evening, I’m-“

“Jesus Christ!” you interrupt screaming. You try scrambling backwards, but it is very difficult to move.

“Who?” The horse asks you.

“How are you talking to me?! What drugs did the doctors give me?!”

“I just gave you some small sedatives to help you sleep and few things for your injuries.” He replies quickly. “Please calm down. I need to-“

“What do you mean? What drugs could a horse have given me?!” You are extremely worried now. You can hear your heart monitor beeping faster and faster. “I have to get out of here! Right now.” You try to get out of bed.

“No!” the horse doctor yells. “Don’t get up! Stay where you are!” his horn begins glowing.

You lift your left arm and begin trying to remove the plugs in the exposed areas of your right arm.

“Don’t do that! Stop!” the doctor continues to yell, advancing on you.

Just as your left hand reaches the tube in your arm, you feel something touch your foot. You quickly glance down to see the doctor’s horn pressed lightly against your foot. Very quickly, everything goes black.

==========

The day has dragged on forever. By this time, you must’ve written at least 60 of the 80 recommendation forms. You probably could’ve written more, if you didn’t have various soldiers interrupting you throughout the day to ask you random questions. Or if you had a computer. Typing is way easier than writing with a quill and ink, but with a computer comes all of its’ distractions… like porn. And you like porn.

You have progressively become more and more pissed off at these constant interruptions in your work. After the thousandth interruption, you took a sticky note, put it on the door, and wrote, “If you open this door, you will be sent to the gulag for 25 years hard labor. Stop asking me shit!”

Equestria doesn’t even have a gulag. But you could probably have a few loyal Guardsponies build you one explicitly for those who dare to interrupt you. But, like all of your brilliant ideas, Celestia probably wouldn’t allow you to do that.

You feel brain-dead. With the combination of writing recommendations and answering dumb questions, you feel exhausted.

You contemplate just leaning back and falling asleep in your swivel chair.

Before you can think any further, you hear your door opening. ‘Sompony is going to die today,’ you think to yourself.

You look up to see Mace holding a giant white bag in his teeth, walking through your door.

“Mace,” you begin, not trying to hide how exhausted you feel, “are you aware that I now have to send you to a gulag?”

He rolls his eyes and sets the white bag on your desk.

“Do you know how hard it’s going to be for me to build and actively operate a gulag?” you ask him. “I can barely do this job!”

“Sorry for bringing my Lieutenant some dinner,” he says.

“Dinner?” you look up at the clock and see that it’s 8:30. “Oh, shit.”

Mace chuckles. “You’ve been working forever. Just thought I’d bring you something.”

“Mace,” you respond on the verge of tears of happiness, “that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

He laughs again. “Just eat.” He pulls over another chair from the far end of the small office. “If this is the nicest thing anypony has ever done for you, you probably don’t have any friends. Or parents. Or a girlfriend. Which you do.”

You ignore Mace as he rambles. You love Mace and all, but listening to him go on and on about things takes a lot out of you. You open the bag and peer in at the contents.

“God damnit, Mace!” you find yourself shouting without even realizing.

He reaches into his saddle bags and pulls out another white bag with his magic before looking at you. “What’d I do? I brought you food!”

You have to suppress the sudden urge to murder. “You didn’t bring me food! You brought me those damn tofu wings!”

“Ha!” he yells out the word. “My bad. That bag is mine. This,” he levitates over a different white bag, “is yours.”

You take the bag open it, and see a salad. ‘Oh thank you, Jesus!’

You take the salad out, take a fork out, and immediately begin eating. ‘This is the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten.’

The salad itself is nothing special. It’s just a bunch of green and purple leaves with croutons and salad dressing. But because you’re so hungry, it tastes like heaven. That is, if heaven could taste like anything.

Mace un-wraps his tofu shit and begins eating as well. You guys talk about… nothing really, until you are both almost done.

“Hey,” Mace pipes up, “there’s a hoofball game in a half an hour. Wanna go?”

You love hoofball. The entire sport is basically American Football but with ponies (which makes it way better). Unicorns can’t use magic, pegasi can’t use wings, and ponies can carry the ball any way they want to, including their mouths and tails.

You know you can’t go, but you decide to carry on the conversation anyway. “Who’s playing?” you ask.

“Canterlot vs. Cloudsdale,” he says smiling. “I got 20 bits on the Hurricanes. Sherman seems to think Canterlot’s gonna win, but there is no way that’ll happen after the way they lost to Fillydelphia last week.”

You shake your head. “You’re both insane. It’s a preseason game. Anything can happen. No use in betting over it.”

“Look,” Mace counters, “when the Cloudsdale Hurricanes come to town, bet on ‘em. Trust me, it’s a safe bet. Blue Jays are going down.” He smiles, proud of himself.

“You’re a genius,” you say sarcastically.

“I know,” he responds proudly. “So, you want to go? The game’s at Madison Octagonal Garden. Tickets are cheap too. Or do you want to get in our bet?”

“I wish I could, but I’m exhausted, and I have a bed with my name on it.” You yawn. “I should probably get back home soon. Celestia’s probably wondering where I am.”

“Aw, c’mon!” he pleads. “We haven’t seen you all day! Just go for like, the first half. I’ll pay for half of your ticket too! C’mon buddy.” He gives you his best puppy dog eyes.

“That look never works on me unless it’s from Celestia. Or someone who isn’t so abnormally ugly.” Mace scowls at you.
“Besides,” you continue, “I’ve been working too long today for your sake. Y’all should let me just go home and rest so I can finish tomorrow.”

He sighs. “Fine. But hey, come out to drink with us tomorrow. Vinyl and Octavia will be there, and they really want to see you again.”

You yawn again. “Alright, I’ll see if I can. No promises though.” You first met Vinyl and Octavia when you came to Canterlot. They seemed like a very odd couple when you first met them (yes they’re a couple in my story), but they compliment each other perfectly. And they both love you. Who doesn’t?

You collect your trash in your bag and rise from your chair. “I should get going. It’s late and I’m tired. Have fun at the game, though.”

“Oh, I will,” he said smiling.

“See ya tomorrow.” You say as you both exit the building. “Oh, and you can drink, but just don’t get drunk. If you do, I will make your life a living hell.”

“Relax,” he says waving his foreleg, “I haven’t been drunk in like, a month. Besides, Pike will be there too, and he’s never drunk. So don’t worry. We’ll all be sober in the morning. Promise.”

“Alright,” you say fist bumping Mace. “See you tomorrow. Let me know who wins by the way.”

“All right buddy. Later.” Mace takes a right out of the building towards Madison Octagonal Garden, and you go left towards the Castle. Your legs are exhausted from lack of use today, and you just want to lay down on a dirty Canterlot bench and fall asleep. But the benches probably won’t fit you, but Celestia’s bed will.

Time to go home.

==========

You walk through the guarded front gates of the massive Castle, and ascend the grand staircase slowly. You want to run into the Castle, go into your room, grab Celestia, and fall asleep. But you’re too tired to move faster than a shuffle.

‘Well, it is only 10:00. Maybe Celestia and I can do something besides sleeping…’

You suddenly become aware that you are quickly becoming excited. You feel more awake, and much more aroused, so you decide to hurry along to your bedroom.

After walking up the 327 stairs of various staircases, you finally reach your bedroom. The doors are closed, with two Royal Guardsponies standing stoically outside. You know these two guards without having to ask.

Lieutenant Maverick and Sergeant Eagle Eye. These two unicorns guard your bedroom from 9:30 at night to 5:30 in the morning four days a week. Royal Guards are supposed to keep totally silent and perfectly still, but doing that for 8 hours, especially at night four times a week, is seemingly impossible. So, Celestia has allowed them to talk, as long as they’re awake and always watching. Besides, it’s not like they’re going to wake you or Celestia up. Your bedroom door has a soundproof spell on it. Noises don’t get in, noises don’t get out. Unfortunately your balcony doors don’t have a soundproof spell, so it would seem Luna can hear you rather well. Heh heh.

“Hey Maverick,” you yawn as you approach them. Both of them look over at you. “Do you feel the need – the need for speed?!” you smile, proud of yourself for making such a clever joke. If Eagle Eye’s name was Goose, you’d probably be even more proud of yourself.

“What?” he asks, completely oblivious.

“Nothing,” you continue to smile. Even though they will never get it, you do, and that’s all that matters right now. You rub your eyes in an attempt to wake yourself up a little more.

“Busy day, Lieutenant?” Maverick asks.

“Yeah,” you laugh. “I guess you could say that. Writing 80 recommendations is pretty tiring.”

“Oh shit!” Maverick exclaims. He facehoofs. “I completely forgot. Shining is going to be so pissed!”

Eagle Eye looks a little confused. “What are you talking about?”

You decide to answer. “Officers had to write recommendation letters today for whoever they are directly in charge of. Looks like Maverick forgot.” You can’t help but smile at his misfortune.

“What?!” Eagle Eye turns to Maverick, shoving his hoof in his chest. “So you’re the reason I haven’t been promoted! I’d kill to be an officer, and you’re not even doing you’re work! I could really use that money…”

“It’s not that much more money,” you inform him.

“Coming from the guy who lives with royalty.” Good point.

“You got me on that one. But what does it matter to you? You’d probably just keep all the money you get in the bank until you die. You’re the cheapest pony I know.”

“At least I’d have it,” he mutters.

“Well,” you continue, “anything interesting happen with you guys since last night?”

“No,” Maverick mutters. “Nothing interesting besides the fact that I’ll probably get demoted for being an idiot tomorrow.”

“Oh, I found out I’m lactose intolerant today!” Eagle Eye jumps in. “You see, I was about to leave for work, when I-“

“Shut up, idiot,” Maverick sighs. “Just… shut… up.”

You decide that Maverick needs some cheering up. “Don’t worry Maverick, Shining will understand. I’ll talk to him for you tomorrow morning. ‘K?”

He quirks an eyebrow. “And just how do you plan on doing that?” he asks.

“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse,” you say in a terrible rendition of Marlon Brando.

Maverick and Eagle Eye look really confused.

“What?” they both ask.

You exhale. It’s pretty nice that you can make inside jokes, but it sucks that you can only make them with yourself. You think they’re funny, but everypony else is left baffled by you quoting movies. You’re proud of yourself for making two allusions in a row, but disappointed that nopony will ever understand you.

“Nothing. Jesus. I’ll just talk to him about it. Don’t worry.”

He exhales. “Thanks. Y’know, humans are really nice.” He quietly adds, “Even if you say weird shit all the time.”

“Woah!” you say, addressing his first statement. “Don’t go that far. Let’s just say that I’m a nice human.” Your voice drops. “Most humans suck.”

He laughs. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“G’night gentlemen,” you say as you shuffle forward. They open the door for you, and you step inside.

==========

The doors shut behind you, and you are immediately blinded by the darkness of your bedroom. Despite the fact that Equestria has electricity, Celestia never uses it. Instead, she only uses candles and the light of her sun. She didn’t have electricity for thousands of years, so she never got around to using it, you guess. You don’t really care. But every night when you walk through the door, you have to readjust your eyes to the darkness of your bedroom.

The adjustment comes quickly due to the fact that there is a fire going, and you can see everything around you. The purple walls, the open balcony doors, your dresser, your bed, but most importantly, your Princess.

She is sitting on her giant purple cushion, next to her huge yellow pillow, in front of your blazing fireplace. She’s reading and writing letters with the soft smile that’s always adorning her face. You begin your walk over towards her.

She looks up from her letters. “Good evening, honey. You’re home awfully late today.”

You yawn. “I know.”

‘I’ve been yawning a lot lately,’ you think to yourself.

You take off your shirt and throw it on the floor next to the bed. “I did more writing today than I ever did when I was in school.” You kick your shoes off, and throw your socks on top of your discarded shirt. “How was your day? Anything interesting happen for the ruler of Equestria?”

“Something interesting happens every day when you’re Princess,” you hear her say. “Though, I must say, the most interesting thing to happen today was your interruption.”

You shrug. “I saw that you were in great peril, and like the charming prince that I am,” you say placing a hand on your chest, “I saved my Princess.” You slip off your pants and underwear.

“You know, if I wasn’t Princess, that stallion definitely would’ve started yelling at you. And me for that matter.

“If he would’ve begun to get angry, I wouldn’t be able to defend you. I know I’d be mad if I was him.” She turns her attention back to her letters.

You smile. “Well it’s a good thing you are Princess then, isn’t it?” you walk over to where she is laying and cuddle against her side.

Celestia drapes her wing over you. You decide to continue conversation. “So, what’d you tell the guy who was complaining when I was there?”

“Well, as Princess, it is my duty to alert the Manager of the Weather Factory in Cloudsdale of his concerns,” she says proudly.

“I thought you didn’t have any control over the weather.” You reach your hands up to the top of wing, and begin gently rubbing.

“Oh, I don’t. I just wanted him to leave the Throne Room. I don’t want ponies to think they can get whatever weather they need just because they ask me for it. If they have any concerns, they can talk to the weather ponies.”

Your back is pressed against Celestia’s side. You are facing your bed which stands on the opposite end of the room, away from your fireplace. You continue to rub Celestia’s wing which currently acts as a blanket for your naked form.

You close your eyes and listen to the noises of the room. You hear the unmistakable sound of a quill on paper. Celestia always takes her time to respond to just about every letter she receives every single day. Which is ridiculous. Can you imagine trying to respond to every email you have ever gotten? Including spam? That’s just crazy. But Celestia does it, and you almost admire her for it, if it wasn’t such a waste of time.

You close your eyes and focus your attention on the sound of the crackling fire. You love fire. It’s so warm and relaxing. Unless the fire is outside of the fireplace. If your house or clothes are on fire, that’s terrifying. But when it’s in a fireplace, it is rather relaxing.

Realizing that you were literally just thinking about why you love fireplaces, you decide to make an attempt to make better use of your private time with your Princess. After a few minutes of rubbing Celestia’s wing and thinking, your mind hatches an ingenious plan, which you will put into action immediately.

You roll out from under Celestia’s wing before her wing retracts to her side. You sit down again, only this time, you’re on Celestia. You straddle just above her flanks, and begin to massage her back. Her job is very stressful, so she can get pretty tense. You try to alleviate that tension with your fingers. After all, you are the only creature in Equestria with fingers.

You peek over her shoulder. “Who are you writing to, hon? Anypony important?” You move your hands up and down her back.

She giggles. “Nopony that you need to concern yourself with, dear. Just the usual. You got some mail as well. I put it on top of your dresser.”

“Eh, I’ll read it later. When was the last time Twilight sent you a friendship report?” You and Celestia both enjoy reading Twilight’s letters. You find it fascinating that the star pupil of the Princess, herself, has taken so long to learn anything about friendship.

Celestia takes a moment to ponder this as you massage her back. “Hmm, about a week I suppose. I must say, I am very happy that she is making friends. I didn’t like that she was always in the castle with nopony to talk to except Spike and myself. I don’t think that was very healthy. But she seems happy now. And I am as well.”

Celestia smiles at you as she turns her head slightly. You quickly move your body up to deliver her a quick kiss before she turns back to her letters.

“How’d the rest of your day go? Anypony else ask you for anything you can’t give?”

“Hmm, no. Everypony else had – oh yes, please keep doing that – legitimate concerns…” her voice begins to get quieter as she relaxes more. “After that, I met with the governor of Canterlot.”

You can tell Celestia is liking this massage more and more as it goes on. Her wings begin to rise involuntarily from her sides as you continue to massage her lower back. Her horn, which was previously shining its’ bright golden glow when she is performing magic, has significantly dimmed as she continues to levitate a scroll in front of her.

You scoot yourself up Celestia’s back so that your thighs are gently touching the base of her outstretched wings. You move your hands up and begin kneading her shoulders gently.

“And how did your meeting go?” you ask in a tone just above a whisper.

You feel Celestia’s breathing get slower. You can’t see her face, but you can almost guarantee that her eyes are closed.

“Hmm?” she sighs. She doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to your polite questioning. But you don’t really mind.

“Your meeting,” you whisper. “How’d it go?” You struggle to suppress yawn as you move both of your hands towards her outstretched wings.

“Oh,” she says as if just remembering something blatantly obvious. “It was nothing special. We merely discussed the crime rate, taxes, and complaints from the nobility. Nothing out of the ordinary. For Canterlot at least.”

“Hmm,” you coo. “That’s good.”

You rub her wings as gently as you can while trying to also be firm. Celestia is probably completely aware of your motives. She should know that when you come home and give her massage, you would like her to return the favor in some way.

Your fingers begin to knead harder into her wings. It’s important that you start slow, but gradually increase your pressure as the massage goes on. Celestia likes that the most. She doesn’t use her wings very often, she rarely flies, so you will often see her with them outstretched or tucked into her sides at various points in the day.

You are, by no means, a professional masseuse. You don’t consider yourself to be one and never have. But you may as well be one considering how Celestia melts under your touch. For whatever reason, watching Celestia relax turns you on even more.

Celestia’s horn is still shining a very dim gold, but she isn’t holding anything. Whenever Celestia is aroused her horn will involuntarily glow. It’s pretty faint, but because your room is so dark, it’s pretty easy to spot. Another sign of arousal is that her wings will become stiff and erect, as they are right now in your hands.

The etheral, gentle breeze that is always blowing Celestia’s mane at all times of the day has significantly slowed. This only happens when she is extraordinarily relaxed. And when Celestia is relaxed, you are happy for two main reasons. One- you are happy that she can escape the stress of her everyday life. Two- because it means that Celestia is much easier to seduce.

After living with the Pegasus Goddess for as long as you have, you know where her wings are most sensitive. You even know how to preen her wings, if she ever needs you to. She usually does it herself, but there are those occasions where you will take over.

You decide the massage is over. It isn’t getting you anywhere anyway. You don’t want to make Celestia too relaxed, or she may fall asleep.

You bend down to kiss the back of Celestia’s neck delicately. Nothing more than a light but loving brush of your lips on her soft fur. Just to see how your Princess will react.

The reaction you get, you believe, is a positive one. She sighs as your lips touch her neck, the golden light surrounding her horn dims further, and she even flaps her wings couple of times, pushing her slightly off the ground.

If Celestia wasn’t turned on a few minutes ago, she definitely is now. You guess Celestia is not used to being aroused. A few thousand years of being totally alone in the position of ruler of an entire country can do that to someone. She’s never spent an intimate moment with anyone before you, so when she becomes aroused, she doesn’t know what to do with her body.

You find her squirming underneath you absolutely adorable. Your Princess is merely an instrument, and you get to play her anyway you want to. The more she wiggles and writhes, the hotter the room becomes.

You slide down her waist so you are resting above your flanks. You reach your arms down and bring them to rest on her. You begin caressing her flank, gently at first, but you quickly begin kneading the delicate area much harder and with more passion as you hear Celestia’s breathing quickens.

You decide to continue with your teasing. You slide yourself up again and press your bare chest against her back, beginning to pepper her neck with kisses. You nip at her sensitive neck with your teeth, eliciting small gasps and quiet moans of pleasure from the Sun Goddess.

Celestia, it would seem, has had enough of your playfulness. The room gets a little brighter as Celestia’s horn flares and you’re surrounded by a golden aura.

The next thing you know, you are on your back, on the giant purple cushion, with Celestia on top of you.

You quickly glance over to where Celestia was sitting just few seconds prior to you being unceremoniously dumped on your back. Where Celestia was previously lying, right next to where you are now, sits a giant wet spot comprised solely of Celestia’s juices.

‘Wow,’ you think. ‘She was really getting into that massage.’

You are quickly dragged out of your thoughts as Celestia connects her lips with yours. The sensation is almost indescribable. Her lips are soft and moist and…just… absolutely perfect! You cannot think of a single thing wrong with the way she kisses, inexperienced as she may be.

You feel something poke at the entrance of your mouth. You part your lips reflexively as Celestia slides in her tongue. Your tongues connect as hers dances around your mouth. It runs over your teeth, around your cheeks, and, finally, passes over your tongue as you begin to push back.

You push both tongues into her mouth, doing the same for her as she did for you. Your tongues battle ferociously before you slowly and deliberately withdraw.

You break the kiss and rest your head on the cushion underneath you as you gaze into the half-lidded eyes of your love. You can see the lust in her eyes. You know she wants you. And who are you to deny her?

You quickly wrap your arms around her sides and roll over. Celestia gives a surprised yelp as she finds herself on her back. Her wings, which have been stiff and erect since the beginning of the massage, now rest on either side of her gorgeous body.

Celestia always wears her crown, necklace, and horseshoes. Even when she’s just reading the mail in the privacy of your room, she is generally wearing her Royal clothing. You quickly remove her crown and slide her necklace over her head. You slide them across the floor and away from your cushion.

It’s always exciting to undress Celestia. Because ponies are naked their entire lives, you get used to being surrounded by naked ponies, obviously enough. You find that ponies are much more alluring when they are wearing something. It’s strange how one can seemingly wear less by wearing more.

You kiss up her foreleg until you reach her hoof. You take it off and slide it across the floor to join the discarded crown and necklace. You give her other foreleg a similar treatment before she tucks in her legs into her chest.

You return to her face again, but instead of aiming for her lips, you go straight for her neck. You and Celestia have been together long enough for you to know where she is the most sensitive. And you know that her lower neck is very, very sensitive.

You kiss her neck, lightly at first, before you begin biting and gently pulling at her soft fur. Celestia elicits “ooh”s and “mmm”s of pleasure, which boosts your confidence enough that you decide to venture lower.

You leave a trail of kisses and gentle bites down her chest and stomach. You suck and nibble tenderly on her delicate nipples. Celestia continues to writhe under your gentle yet firm touch. You flick your tongue across her belly before continuing downwards. She responds by giving her fully extended wings a few more flaps.

After much kissing and foreplay, you have finally reached her hind legs, which are tucked into her body.

You immediately take off her remaining two golden shoes and slide them over to join the rest of Celestia’s discarded clothing. You grab one of her legs gently with both of your hands. With one hand, you pull her leg so that it extends away from her body. Your other hand moves to caress her inner thigh.

You move your head towards her leg and begin kissing. You start at the hoof, but slowly work your way down to her calf. You pause to kiss her calf, your other hand continuing to tease Celestia’s thigh.

You sneak a quick glance at Celestia’s face, and are pleased with what you see. Her head is resting on her pillow, her eyes are closed, her ears folded back, her mane gently flowing at an even slower pace than earlier, and her face is flushed.

You continue to kiss down her leg until you reach Celestia’s very moist marehood. The juices that cover her lips and thighs glisten in the glow of the roaring fire, still continuing next to you.

You take a moment to simply stare at the beautiful sight before you. You don’t know how long you were just looking, but when you snap back to your senses, you find your mouth hanging open and slightly drooling. She wants you, and you want her.

You don’t think Celestia has had quite enough teasing. You decide to blow cool air onto her heated mound.

She responds by groaning audibly and wiggling herself uncomfortably. Her wings flap two more times before resting uneasily at her sides again. You grab her flanks with both hands to hold her in place. Teasing can be a lot of fun, but you decide that you have had enough. You decide it’s time to begin.

You give Celestia’s soaked lips a tentative kiss, just wanting to test out her response before you just dive in. Your lips are quickly covered in her juices. You stick your tongue out and run it slowly along her lips. Celestia moans softly at your touch. You continue your licking as Celestia elicits soft moans of pleasure.

You move one hand over and part her lips with your fingers to see her swollen button. You reach out your tongue and stoke her clit. At the same time, you insert two fingers inside of her. You move them in and out of her slowly, listening to her as her breathing quickens.

“Ooooh, yes!” Celestia moans at your touch. “Don’t stop… please.”

Who are you to disobey your Princess? You lap at her nub and move your fingers faster and faster at Celestia’s begging.

Juices continue to pour out of Celestia’s engorged, pink slit. Every time your tongue brushes Celestia’s nub, she moans and cries out your name; begging you for more.

She gaps out your name. “Faster! Oh, rut me harder!” Celestia says, seemingly out of breath.

Because Celestia is asking you so nicely, you are more than happy to continue. Your tongue increases in speed, as do your fingers. Hot, sticky juices absolutely cover your hand, mouth, and chin, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m so, so close… mmm,” Celestia moans.

You triple your efforts. Your tongue and hand haven’t worked harder in your life up until this very moment. You lap faster and faster, working your fingers in and out of her so fast your afraid you may start a fire.

You feel her walls begin to tighten significantly around your fingers after a few moments.

“Ah!” Celestia gasps. “I’m… aaah… I’m gonna… I’m gonna…”

Celestia moans one final, long, loud moan as she comes. Hot juice quickly rushes over your face as you drink in everything you can. Her liquid is hot, sticky, and sweet. You love it so much.

After a few long, beautiful moments, your Princess’ orgasm subsides. Celestia stops her squirming as you rise slightly from her nethers, and rest on your knees. You take a few seconds to gaze down upon your Princess.

Celestia’s head is resting against her pillow, her mouth hanging wide open as she gasps for breath. Her mane is still flowing very slowly and her ears are folded back. Your eyes wander across her flawless, curvy, white body.

Her chest is rising and falling rapidly, but her breathing seems to be slowly regulating. Her four legs are tucked against her body.

You begin to think. ‘I truly am the luckiest man in-‘

You never get to finish that thought as the room is quickly bathed in a blinding golden light. You recoil slightly as your eyes seem to light on fire. You feel yourself falling backwards but you suddenly stop. You feel as though you are suspended in mid-air.

You’re only floating for a couple of seconds before you are lifted up and, quite literally, thrown across the room.

Luckily, you feel yourself land on a very soft surface, which causes you to bounce up before finally coming to a rest. You open your eyes to see that you successfully landed on your bed.

You also notice Celestia standing and approaching the bed from across the room, her horn still faintly glowing. Her eyes narrow playfully at you as a smile graces her face. You can tell by that smile that Celestia is has already formulated a plan with what she wants to do to you. And quite honestly, you want her to do whatever it is she may be thinking.

Her still erect wings flap twice, propelling her forward and upward at tremendous speed and directly towards you. You yelp out in horror as she lands directly on top of you, pinning you to the soft mattress.

Celestia stands up slightly, looking down at you with a sultry smile. You try to get up as well. You lift the top half of your body up and towards hers, but she stops you with her hoof, and roughly pushes you back down onto the matress.

“Ah, ah, ah,” she admonishes, shaking her head, smile never faltering. "You stay down there." Her horn’s glowing gets a little brighter, and so do your hands and wrists.

Celestia uses her magic to lift up your arms and pin them down against the mattress directly above your head. Celestia’s big, purple eyes never leave yours.

She slowly inches her face closer towards yours. When she is only a few inches away, she sticks out her tongue and licks up your cheek. She pulls back for a second to look you in the eyes.

“Your turn,” she whispers in the most seductive and pleasing tone you have ever heard. She places her head on the side of yours before she begins to nibble on your ear.

The sensation you are currently experiencing is interesting, to say the least. It’s pretty ticklish, but it’s also pretty hot. You can feel Celestia’s flat teeth gently tugging at your ear, her tongue brushing over your skin, her hot breath on the side of your face.

She stops nibbling at your ear and begins biting and licking her way down your body. She kisses your cheek before biting at your neck. You reflexively try to raise your hands as you feel her teeth on your sensitive skin, but alas, you cannot, for Celestia has your hands and arms pinned.

Celestia must have felt you trying to struggle your way out of her magical grip because she begins to giggle as she works her way down your naked form. She doesn’t say anything, but you can tell that she finds your struggling amusing.
You don’t find your struggling amusing. It’s rather annoying. Inconvenient. You want to decide what’ll happen next, but you can’t; you’re pinned to a bed.

Celestia kisses her way down your chest and stomach pretty quickly. You figure that she’s had enough teasing for one night, and has decided to push onward to her ultimate goal.

Her face has finally reached your erect member. She blows cool air across the tip of it, just like you did to her. The cool sensation on the part of you that is most heated nearly causes you to pass out. Your neck gives out and your eyes close involuntarily. The back of your head lightly connects with the soft pillows underneath you.

You feel something very moist run up your entire length. You figure it’s Celestia’s tongue. You want to look up, but you really can’t right now. You just want to enjoy this.

Celestia’s tongue flicks across the tip of your member, throwing you into new waves of untold pleasure. You gasp out at the contact, eliciting more quiet giggling from Celestia. You don’t know what’s so damn funny, but as long as she keeps going, you don’t really care.

You feel your breathing quicken substantially. Sweat begins to form on your forehead, along with most of your body; you can feel it. You want to wipe the sweat away, but you just can’t. It’s just not going to happen.

You feel Celestia’s mouth close around your swollen manhood. She rubs her tongue up and down and around your remember at a rapid pace. You hear Celestia moan.

You gasp at the wonderful contact and raise your head slightly. You see Celestia working her head up and down your member, every so often eliciting a moan of pleasure, her eyes closed. She opens her eyes halfway to look up at your face. You can only look at her for a few seconds before you drop your head back down onto the pillow.

You feel Celestia’s mouth slowly release your member. Your manhood suddenly feels very cold as the warmth of Celestia’s mouth leaves you. You are about to protest, but then you see your Princess crawling up your form.

She smiles down at you, gives you a quick kiss, and positions herself directly on top of you; your manhood lining up with her marehood perfectly. She looks down at herself before she begins pressing down.

The tip of your manhood presses at the entrance to Celestia’s very moist opening. You can feel the heat coming off of her, and it feels divine.

Celestia presses herself down onto you very hard and very quickly. Your manhood is engulfed in Celestia’s slit. You have to do everything you can to keep yourself from exploding right then and there.

Celestia’s eyes suddenly shoot open at the new sensation. She gasps out your name as you slide smoothly inside of her, her juices providing a great natural lubricant.

You simply lie like you are, Celestia on top of you, you inside of Celestia, the both of you breathing heavily. Celestia seems to be trying to get used to the wonderful sensation she has chosen to endure.

Very slowly and deliberately, Celestia begins to raise herself off of you. The feeling of her pulling on you is absolutely amazing. You feel her juices trickle down your length and over your thighs.

Your Goddess slowly slides back down. On the way down, she bites her lip, closes her eyes in bliss, and moans. Obviously enough, she’s enjoying you almost as much as you are enjoying her.

Celestia begins to repeat this process of raising her hips, and lowering them slowly down on top of you. The peak of each thrust accompanied by a low moan from Celestia. You want nothing more than to wrap your arms around Celestia, roll her over, and rut her brains out. But her magic is still keeping you from this. Celestia often moves much too slow for your taste. Whenever you want to take it fast, she takes it slow, and vice-versa.

Celestia’s moans are cute and quiet at first, but grow in volume as her thrusts gradually speed up.

You hear your Princess gasp as she picks up her speed. Her eyes remain tightly closed, her horn dims, but only a little bit, and her wings are fully outstretched by this point.

Celestia quickly leans down and pulls you in for a lustful kiss. Her tongue immediately enters your mouth and begins fighting with yours. She moans into your mouth as her body continues to rub against yours.

You break the kiss, crane your neck, and move your lips to her neck. You pull on her fur with your teeth roughly. You are too blinded by lust and passion right now to care about being gentle. Celestia doesn’t seem to mind as her breathing becomes even more labored and her moans of pleasure become more frequent.

“Oooh yes!” Celestia says shakily, shuddering. “Please!... mmm… d-don’t stop!”

You respond by biting down even harder on her sensitive neck. Celestia finally releases your arms from her magical grip and wraps her forelegs around your back, trying to pull you even closer to her. She pulls you up to her as you move your arms around her back and pull her down further on top of you.

You immediately move both of your hands down to Celestia’s flanks. You grab onto her hard, and force her down on you as you force yourself up.

You know you won’t last very long at this point. With Celestia’s lustful and passionate thrusting, you feel yourself about to peak. She flaps her wings again.

She calls out your name. “I’m… s-so close… ooh… I-I’m…”

She lets out a mix of a scream and a moan as she finally climaxes; her loudest noise of the evening. With the combination of her moaning, her juices pouring down your legs, and her walls closing very tightly around you, you feel yourself climaxing soon after.

You have never experience euphoria like this. Well, that’s not true. You’ve had sex with Celestia before, but tonight just feels… special. You don’t really know. You’re just so happy right now, and you’re glad you can share your happiness with your Goddess.

After Celestia is done with her squirming and groaning, she collapses directly on top of you, her head coming to rest on your shoulder. Your sweat and other various juices mix together as you both struggle to breathe.

You reach up and nibble gently on her ear. As you softly bite down, her ear flickers, a clear sign that Celestia doesn’t want you to. But you do it anyway. You bite down gently and flick your tongue across her soft fur.

Your wrap your arms tightly around Celestia’s back. One of your arms moves to carress her back while the other doesn’t move at all. You’re too tired. Celestia’s wings begin to slowly sag and return to their normal position at her sides.

You feel every part of your Princess as she rests on top of you. You feel her chest rapidly rising and falling. You feel her hot breath running across the hairs on your chest, which is rather ticklish. You run your hands along her curves, outlining her athletic form.

‘This,’ you think tiredly to yourself, ‘this is the greatest moment of my life.’

Whether that is actually true is irrelevant. You just had an orgasm, so everything you think or do from now until you fall asleep, you cannot be held responsible for. You feel like you’re high, and you don’t want it end.

Your breathing regulates and you regain your senses faster than your worn out Princess. You kiss the top of her head before laying your head back down onto your pillow.

Celestia is, without a doubt, exhausted. After waking up before sunrise, running a country all day, and then making you the happiest man in the world, she is probably more than ready to fall asleep.

You feel yourself about to slip into unconsciousness when you feel Celestia begin to move. She raises her lower half off of yours and lays down right next to you. She moves her head so that you are both face-to-face.

“That,” Celestia whispers, still seemingly out of breath, “was amazing.” She nuzzles your cheek with hers before pulling back resting her forehead on yours.

You chuckle. You already knew it was amazing, but you’re glad to hear that she enjoyed it too. It’s nice to please others, especially in the way that you just did.

You glance over at the fireplace to see the fire still burning brightly. You’ve never added any wood to that damn thing but it’s always blazing; except for when you wake up in the mornings.

The light from the fire bathes Celestia in a beautiful orange glow. She smiles softly at you before kissing you fully on the lips.

She breaks the kiss and nuzzles the top of her head under your chin, being careful to avoid stabbing you with her horn. The middle of her horn comes to rest on the right side of your neck, while the top of her head is nestled under your chin.

“I love you,” she whispers sleepily. “I love you so much.”

You smile. “I love you too, honey.” You’ve had a very long day, as did your Princess, and all you want to do is hold Celestia and sleep.

This is the perfect moment. You can’t think of a single thing to change. With the love of your life snuggled up to you, you truly couldn’t be happier.

This moment is perfect.

You never want it to end.

This magic moment.

==========

As always, your alarm goes off far too early this morning. Only, your alarm today sounds very distant… And much different than it usually does.

You try to turn yourself around to throw your alarm across the room, but find that you cannot move. Celestia has you wrapped up in her wings like a caterpillar in a cocoon. You want to turn your alarm off, but you really don’t want to move… but…

Your alarm isn’t going off anymore. ‘What?’ You think groggily to yourself. ‘Why did my alarm stop?’

You don’t have anymore time to think as you hear a great pounding on your bedroom door. At this, Celestia stirs softly.

“Hmm…?” she asks half asleep, pulling you in even closer to herself. “What was that, honey?” She yawns as she attempts to get up. “I’ll get it.”

You yawn. “No hon. I’ll check. Go back to bed.” You push Celestia back down onto the bed. She really needs her rest. After a thousand years of doing her job completely alone, she must be tired. But now that you’re here, you try to help out in any way that you can. You read the clock on the wall.

‘2:30?!’ You exclaim internally. ‘Who the fuck is knocking on my door right now?! Unless the Castle is under siege, there is no reason to wake Celestia up.’

You know the Royal Guards know better than to wake either of you up unless shit is really going down. If someone woke you up for no reason, they will be executed at dawn.

The room is much darker now. The fire must have gone out at some point in the night, not that it matters now. The moonlight bathes your bedroom in a soft white light, but the room is still very dark.

You get out of the bed and immediately begin your walk towards the doors. In your disoriented state, you find yourself almost falling flat on your face on several occasions, but you manage to reach the door.

‘Somepony’s going to die tonight,’ you think to yourself as you put your hands on the door. You take a deep breath before opening the door…

You expect to see Princess Luna or a Royal Guard, but…

Instead, standing in your doorway, in a very heavily guarded Castle, is Sergeant Mace.

Sometimes Princess Luna would come to your door at random hours of the night to get you to talk to. Sometimes, the both of you would just go to her room and talk, walk around and talk, or go wake up Blueblood. Just for the lolz.

Sometimes, very rarely, a Royal Guard will come and retrieve Celestia for some important royal business that Luna cannot handle, but you never inquire about it (cause you don’t care).

But, tonight, at 2:30 in the morning, at your bedroom door, is your subordinate, and friend, Mace.

‘How the hell did he get up here?’ Is your first thought to yourself. ‘Common ponies aren’t allowed this far up the Castle without special clearance… That sounded kind of ignorant. I’m sorry.’

Mace has a huge grin on his face as he looks up at you, as if he is happy to be awake at 2:30. You feel your anger quickly flare inside of you as you see his grin. You are not in the mood to be smiling right now, and you want to punch Mace right in his obnoxious, smiling face.

“Hey Lieutenant!” he practically shouts.

You wince. It is way too early to be shouting. You hope he didn’t disturb Celestia.

His smile suddenly seems to get even larger. “Missing something there, Lieutenant?” he points at your midsection and tries to suppress a laugh.

You glance down at yourself and notice that you are still wearing your birthday suit. The logical part of your brain wants yelp out in embarrassment and slam the door. But the exhausted part of your brain does not seem to care at all. After all, you are in your room.

“Lieutenant, are you trying to seduce me?” he smirks and puts a hoof on his chest.

You look down and gently shake your head. “Enjoy the show while it lasts, queer,” you find yourself saying in a very tired tone.

Mace laughs heartily. You suddenly remember that Mace is at your door, at 2:30 in the morning, for seemingly no reason.

You sigh. “Mace, go home.” You put a fist up to your mouth to cover a yawn. “I’m too tired to put up with anybody right now.”

You begin to turn back into your room, but Mace quickly calls out to you. “Wait! The Chief of the Canterlot Police has asked our Century to personally deal with a problem.”

This shocks you. You are slightly more awake upon hearing that somepony actually needs the military’s help with something. In all your months of living here, you have never seen or heard of the military actually doing anything except marching around and looking sexy.

You turn back around. “Somepony actually needs our help with something?” Mace nods. “Well what is it?”

“Remember the Blue Jays and Hurricane game that I went to tonight?” he asks. You nod. “Well, Canterlot won. Which totally sucks! I lost 20 bits to Sherman! Sherman! Canterlot lost 16 to 5! For one, what kind of hoofball score is that? The game was really messed up, you see. The refs were absolutely-“

“Mace!” you interrupt. He tends to get off topic very easily, which is very irritating at 2:30 in the morning. “Why the hell are you here?!”

“Oh, right,” he says. “Anyways, during hoofball games, everypony gets drunk, right?” You nod affirmatively. “Well, after the game ended, and Canterlot won, all the drunk fans decided to go get drunk. Crazy, right?

“So they all go out and hunt for an open bar, right? Well, the only one still open at 2 in the morning is The Clover. The one just a block down the road from the barracks? You know the one. We go there all the time.

“So,” Mace pauses for a quick breath. “Then, like 100 ponies head on over to The Clover, and begin getting drunk. Again!” His voice suddenly drops. “Lucky bastards.”

“What was that?” you know what he said, but ask anyway.

“Nothing,” he replies quickly. “So then, these ponies start drinking and yelling about how Canterlot won, and how they’re so good. The drunk ponies start running around and breaking things. Well, Mulligan, the bar owner, you know him, tried to kick them all out.

“Somepony threw a bottle of something at him. He dodged it, but immediately got out of there. He told the Police Chief everything, then the Police Chief came to us. Now I’m here to get you.”

You simply stand there for a few moments, processing all the information just dumped into your tired skull.

“So…” you begin. “We are needed for… riot control?” you yawn.

“Basically,” he shrugs and looks to the side before looking back up at you. “But if you really want to, we can just rush them with swords.” You just stare at him for a few moments with a look on your face that says ‘You are the epitome of mental retardedness.’

He sighs. “Fine. Can we just go? I already wasted 20 minutes just trying to get through all your damn guards, and five more here. So let’s go!” he jumps up in the air, as if this is going to be the most exciting thing of his life. And as an Equestrian soldier, it probably will be.

You yawn again as your body tries to wake itself up. “Alright. Give me a sec. I needs to grab my clothes.”

You close the door and walk back into your room. Your eyes quickly readjust to the darkness of your room. You want to go back to bed, but you know you can’t. You have work to do.

You groggily approach your dresser, open it, and feel around for some clothes. ‘Let’s see here,’ you think. ‘I need underwear, and… that’s it really.’

As you search around for a pair of underwear, you suddenly feel something pull you to your right, and down onto the bed.

Celestia quickly wraps you up in her forelegs and squeezes your head into her chest.

“Honey!” Celestia groans tiredly. “Come back to bed.” She draws out the last word in the most adorable fashion you have ever heard. Celestia pulls you up so that you are both face-to-face and kisses you, before nuzzling your neck.

You don’t want to get up. Especially not now. But your new country needs you. So you must, unfortunately, leave your Princess.

“I wish I could stay, my dear,” you whisper, “but I need to go.”

Celestia stretches. “But why?!” she groans again. “It’s nighttime. Tell Luna to do it.”

You laugh at Celestia’s usual response to Equestria’s nocturnal problems. Celestia is not a night person. She may be able to wake up in the morning and be cheerful as could be, but before she goes to bed, and during the night, she can get pretty cranky.

“I’m afraid it isn’t quite that simple. There is a riot starting, just a few blocks from here actually, and I have been asked to stop it.”

Celestia’s ears perk up at hearing this. She pulls back so she can look you in the eye. “But… but you can’t!” she sounds much more awake now than she did a few seconds ago.

Her response confuses you. You raise an inquisitive eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

Celestia’s ears drop as she looks nervously across the room. She bites down one her lower lip. “I…I just…No. I’m not letting you go.”

You shake your head. “Celestia,” you say softly, “I’m going. It’s my job to go. This is the least I could do for you, and the rest of Equestria for that matter.”

“No, the best thing you could do for me is stay here. I’ll get somepony else to go.” She begins to get up. “I’ll-“

“No,” you say with finality, grabbing onto Celestia to keep her from rising. “I’m going, Celestia. I need to go.” She looks down at the bed.

You put your hand on her cheek and turn her face towards yours. She glances at you and your chest a few times before she settles on looking at your chest . You give her snout a quick kiss before nuzzling her cheek with yours.

“I need to go, honey,” you whisper. “It’s something I just have to do. You know that.” You wrap your arms around her in a tight hug. You take a deep breath before finally letting go.

You quickly stand up, put on a pair of underwear, and decide to get fully dressed before leaving your bedroom. You don’t really want to, but you decided to at least look half way decent for the drunken rioting assholes at 2:30 in the morning.

After slipping on your shoes, you finally make your way back over to the bedroom door. Before opening the door, you call back to Celestia.

“I’ll be back in a little while, hon. I love you,” you say. You hope to be back within the next two hours. Otherwise, you won’t be able to go back to bed again.

You wait for Celestia’s response, but you never receive one. ‘That’s weird,’ you think, ‘she always says ‘I love you’ back. Or she’ll at least acknowledge the fact I said something…’

You turn around to look back at Celestia. She is no longer facing towards you or your side of the bed. Rather, she is facing the balcony doors with her back turned to you. You don’t know what to do.

You shrug, open the door, get Mace, and leave.

==========

“What took you so long?” Mace inquires as you walk through the doors of the barracks. “I was waiting outside for like, ten minutes! And those Royal Guards aren’t much for conversation, so I just had to stand there. Pretty awkward.”

You sigh. “Honestly, I don’t really know.”

Thinking back on it, Celestia was acting sort of weird. She seemed unnecessarily concerned with your job. You go to work every day! Nothing bad's going to happen.

“Celestia was acting a little… different. I don’t know how to describe it. Just… different.”

“Is it anything serious?” Mace sounds genuinely concerned as you make your way to your lockers which hold your armor.

You yawn. “I don’t think so. She usually acts pretty strange at night. I guess she’s just tired.”

You walk into the locker room and go to your locker, which is right by the entrance. You don’t know why Equestrian soldiers have lockers, but they do. And they are absolutely massive. You, a human, can easily walk into one of the lockers. The locker holds a pony’s armor, helmet, and knee shields (shields attached to either foreleg knee respectively), but those are just for ponies. Swords are found in the back room, which is securely locked.

You throw on your customized armor. The armor is bright silver, as is the helmet, which has a red crest running horizontally on the top on the top of it. The armor and helmet reminds you of that of the Ancient Roman’s. But your shield is a Greek hoplon. The shields used in the film 300. You painted Celestia’s cutie mark on your shield, so that she is always with you. They let you paint the shield, so you did. It is an aesthetic masterpiece, or so you tell yourself.

Nopony is talking. It’s way too early for friendly conversation. Some ponies after suiting up simply stand up straight and close their eyes for a few minutes. You want to do the same thing, but as their commanding officer, you need to be awake and alert, especially when they are not.

You finish throwing on all of your armor before addressing the stallions. “Attention, everypony!” you yell out as you begin pacing the pathway up and down the center of the lockers. “We have been assigned to control a riot, three blocks away from here. Our objective is simple; we just need to tell these drunken assholes to go home. Sound good?”

“Yes, sir!” was the unanimous chorus of replies.

Good. They sound ready, and by the time you actually arrive on the scene and see the rioters, they should be very much awake.

“Excellent!” you shout in response. “I’m aware that it is very early in the morning; that you are very tired, and you want to kill these rioters. But, unfortunately my dears, that will not be happening tonight.”

You are met with a series of disappointed “aww”s and “oh come on!”s.

You throw up your hands in mock surrender. “Hey! If I could I would. Y’all know that. But Celestia would be pissed. And she is very scary when she is pissed. Think of your Lieutenant for a change!”

“Pretty please!” a soldier calls out.

You chuckle. “I can never say ‘no’ to you Sherman.” You realize you have quickly gotten off topic.

‘At least everypony is awake now.’ You think to yourself. ‘I guess it’s time to do this.’

“All right, everypony!” you regain the room’s undivided attention. “Grab your billy clubs and get in formation in front of the barracks. And remember; do not aim for the head! I’d prefer not to kill anypony tonight. Now move out!”

Everypony grabs the clubs that sit in every locker and file out through the doors. You watch as the ponies go, and prepare yourself for a long night.

Within seconds, the locker room is empty and all of your soldiers are in formation and await your command outside. They are soldiers, and they are in formation. There is no more talking, no looking around. There is only complete silence and stoicism. The epitome of professionalism. You are honored to be in charge of these men, or stallions, same thing.

Your men can carry the night sticks in their mouths or by magic. They were trained to use their magic, but there is still a bite grip on the handle, just in case. Your billy club is just like everypony else’s, but you prefer to carry it in your right hand, rather than your mouth.

You take your position directly at the front and center of the Century, and begin barking out orders. “Century! Forward, march!” you command in a very deep and loud voice.

You and your little ponies march in unison a few blocks to the bar and scene of the riot. On the way towards the scene of the ruckus, you have been developing a strategy. A very simple one, but almost flawless. You take a moment to internally compliment yourself on such a brilliant, yet simple, plan.

“Century, halt!” you command, and everypony around you comes to a very abrupt, yet organized, stop.

You don’t plan to just charge in there and start beating ponies. What is this? Russia? No. This is Equestria, where everything is done pacifistically. You just want to intimidate these fools enough to force them to go home, go to sleep, and wake up with a hangover so big you won’t even pass them on the streets for another week.

“Um,” you think out loud. “Sergeant Mace!”

Mace quickly steps up to you. “Yes sir!”

“Take 40 ponies around the block and wait at the opposite end of the street. Do not move from there unless told otherwise. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” he quickly takes half of your Century around the block, and waits at the other end of the street. So far so good.

You continue to think. “Sherman.”

“Yes sir?” the voice from right next to you asks.

“Find me a bull horn or a megaphone. Something that makes me sound much louder than I am.”

“Right away, sir.” he scurries off to find one. You don’t care where he gets it from, just as long as he gets one.

You look out across the street and gaze at the drunkards meandering about the road. Some are yelling. Some are talking. Some are stumbling around like idiots. One is vomiting heavily, ‘which he absolutely deserves,’ you add in your head. But most walk out of the bar, say or yell something coherent or not, and then go back inside.

You’re surprised this kind of thing hasn’t happened before. Moderate sports fans, such as yourself, enjoy watching and discussing the game, but that’s about it. But die hard sports fans, such as these, paint themselves up, adamantly follow the games, know every single pony on the team, and get wasted after winning a generally crappy preseason game.

“Um,” you hear a voice from next to you say. You look down at Sherman, levitating a bull horn. “Here you are, sir. But if I may ask, what is it for?”

You smile. “Just watch.” You turn to address your half-Century. “I want you all to line up shoulder to shoulder across the end of this street. If anypony tries to get out, hit ‘em.”

You turn back towards the crowd which seems to be slowly amassing in the middle of the road. Some of them are cheering “Blue Jays! Blue Jays!” over and over again as loud and as clearly as their drunken state allows them.

Before it can get worse, you depress the trigger, and begin shouting into the megaphone.

“Attention, assholes!” you begin eloquently. “Do you have any idea what time it is?!” The crowd of ponies stops chanting and turn dumbly to look at you. They all freeze. They know the military is here, and they know they must’ve done something wrong. The crowd turns around to see Mace standing at the other end of the street, looking as intimidating as possible. Their heads whip back to you and your soldiers, then all over, looking for some escape.

But they can’t seem to find one. They stand, frozen in their spots, and stare at you. Some have a look of horror over their face, some seem apathetic, some are oblivious, and some are just drunk and happy, even in the face of the military.

“Do you have any idea what you are doing?!” you continue to yell. “It’s 3 o’clock in the morning, and you are keeping everypony up! Including me! I should have you all thrown in jail for disturbing the peace and waking me up!”

Just about everypony in the crowd folds their ears down and shy away from your yelling. Some try to sneak back into the bar.

“Don’t move! Or we will come over there and get you personally!” they freeze and meander into the center of the short street.

“If you are currently in the bar, and conscious, get out of there and into the street! Right now!” you wait a few seconds as a few ponies walk out of the bar with their heads hung low. They know who you are. Who doesn’t? With the exception of those two new guards, everypony knows you. Or they should, at least. You are dating their Princess. To them, this should be the equivalent of Celestia herself coming to confront them on their antics.

“Good,” you smile. “All right, it’s late and I’m tired, so I’ll make this very easy on all of you.” You pause for a second to make sure they are listening. “I’m going to let you off with a warning. Consider yourselves lucky. And if I ever have to come out at 3 in the morning again to deal with your bullshit, you’re going to jail. Got it?” You are met with silence, which you take a sign to continue.

“Now, I want you all to line up, give me your name and address, and then you can leave. Sound simple?” you receive no reply other than sad, drunken stares. “I’ll take that as a yes. Now, line up!”

They scurry around for a few moments before forming a semi-decent line. Pfc. Pike walks out from behind you, floating a quill, ink, and paper, and goes over to the line of ponies. You march your half-Century over and meet with Mace’s half-Century.

Your 40 soldiers surround all the partiers, making sure none of them try to escape. The rest of your soldiers head into the bar to clear it out, or take up various positions in the street.

Pike always seems so nervous. He is always shaking, as if he is about to freeze to death. He seems jittery, on edge, anxious. You don’t know why. You don’t think he’s under any stress. What’s there to be stressed about? He’s married, has a kid, and has a low-risk, well paying, non-stressful job.

Even while taking the names down, he seems nervous. You know he isn’t afraid, though. He’s a soldier, and during combat exercise you’ve seen him take down some pretty big stallions without hesitation.

You kind of feel bad for him. He has to take down all these names, most of which you can’t even understand. Most of the partiers stumble up to Pike, slur something, and start laughing or mumbling gibberish. You quickly stop feeling bad for Pike as this is probably the most exciting moment of his career.

You know your troops really want to go to bed. They are all trying desperately to stand there and not pass out. The sooner you can get out of here, the better.

After what feels like an hour, Pike seems to be almost finished gathering all the names. Your soldiers begin packing whatever gear they brought after ridding the street of the drunken partiers. There are only five ponies left in line at this point. You stretch your back and think about how lucky Celestia is at this specific moment.

‘She may have had to wake up before sunrise everyday for thousands of years, but at least she’s asleep right now,’ you think to yourself.

You turn around to look at Pike wrapping up with the names. One of the last ponies, a blue unicorn with a black, unkempt mane, comes up.

“Name?” Pike asks in his usual worried tone.

The unicorn mumbles something incoherent and too quiet to actually hear before snorting. Pike asks him again.

“Name? Say it louder, please.” At least he’s asking politely.

The drunken unicorn levitates a full bottle of beer out from behind him, and brings it down hard right on top of Pike’s head.

Pike falls to the ground as your soldiers quickly step into action. Before you can fully comprehend what just happened, one of your men smacks the drunken unicorn right across the mouth with his billy club.

The drunken unicorn spits out blood as he crumples to the ground. Four or five of your soldiers immediately jump on the now unconscious stallion, cuff his fore and hind legs together respectively, and begin dragging him off the street.

You run over to your fallen friend and check for injuries. Well, he’s obviously injured in some way. He just got hit over the head and fell to the ground. But you don’t see any blood, and he is still awake. Both are very good sign.

You take off Pike’s helmet to further examine him. Again, no blood. Good.

“How you feelin’ bud?” you ask your possibly injured friend. “You all right?”

His eyes rotate around in his head before finally stopping and falling upon you. “Princess, I’m a little dizzy,” he says softly before raising a hood to the spot where he was hit. He winces as his hoof touches the spot his helmet previously covered. “Where’s my helmet?”

You hand it to him. “Oh, man!” he whines. “Look at this scratch!” he points to a line on the top of his helmet that is a little darker than the silver helmet. “This is a new one too. And it’s all sticky! Sorry sir.”

You chuckle. He’s going to be all right. “Don’t worry about that now. Let’s just get this sorted and go. Sound good?”

Pike nods.

‘Wow,’ you think. ‘I didn’t expect anything like this to happen.’ Your anger quickly rises as you realize that your friend was just assaulted by some drunk. You want to wake him up and kick the crap out of him. But that probably isn’t legal. So you do the next best thing.

“Take him to the police station,” you tell your men who are carrying the unconscious unicorn. “Tell whoever’s there what happened, and make sure he’s locked up before you leave.”

“Yes, sir!” the soldiers respond.

Assault in Equestria, as it is in most countries, is a crime. A crime punishable by being fined or being thrown in prison. You wouldn’t mind seeing that drunkard going to prison.

“Oh, and after that, go back to the barracks, undress, and go home. Report to the barracks at 1100 hours today. Understood?”

“Understood, sir!” was the joyous reply. Nopony can complain about getting extra sleep.

“Sergeant Stinger! Front and center!” you call out.

A large white stallion with a black mane and tail sprints over to you and snaps to attention.

“Yes sir?” he asks peacefully.

You smile. “Get the rest of the names. We’re almost done here.”

“Right away sir.” He turns and resumes Pike’s previous unfinished work. Luckily, the rest of the drunken ponies have not moved at all. There’s only a few left, and they’re just staring at Pike.

You ask for the soldier that hit the drunken unicorn in the head to step forward. One of your soldiers does. A pretty short, dark green unicorn, with a golden mane and tale walks nervously up to you. You don’t recognize him, so you probably haven’t written his report yet.

“Do you remember what I said about not hitting anypony in the head?” you ask.

“Y-yes sir!” the soldier tries to yell, but can’t. He’s very nervous. He knows you told them not to strike the head, but he did.

You smile. “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.” The green unicorn looks at you quizzically. “I’m glad you head him across the mouth. The order I gave out was just one of the rules in the handbook (or hoofbook), but I think we should ignore that one from now on. Excellent work, soldier.”

“Th-thank you sir.” He seems a little confused by your praise.

“What’s your name soldier?” you ask. You’ve seen this guy before, but never actually met him.

“Private Shamrock sir.” He responds shyly. You introduce yourself to him, but you’re pretty sure he already knows you.

“Excellent work Corporal Shamrock,” you say as you begin to walk off, hoping he will notice what you said.

It seems he did, and you catch a glimpse of him staring at the ground before enthusiastically jumping up and down.

You’re not even sure if you’re allowed to just promote ponies like that, but it shouldn’t be a big deal. You just need to remember to put in a good report for him.

“Listen up everypony!” you announce. “Now that we got all the names down, we are going to head back to barracks. Everypony get changed, go home, report to the barracks at 1100 hours today. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” was the unanimous cheerful reply. You thought so. 1100 is much preferable to 0700.

“Let’s move out!”

==========

You are finally back in the castle. All the lights in the castle are turned on. You have to squint to find your way through the gleaming hallways. You walk up yet another set of stairs.

You were supposed to do an After Action Report after the little riot you quelled, but you are too tired to even think. You just want to go back to bed. ‘And paperwork fucking sucks!’ you mentally add.

‘I hate stairs!’ you exclaim internally. ‘Why did Celestia make so many stairs?! One flight would be fine. Maybe even two! But there are like, a thousand stairs in this place! I need to talk to Celestia about this.’

You make your way through another ornately decorated hallway on your never ending journey to find your bed. You want to just fall asleep right here in the middle of hallway. But your bed, as always, seems like it would be a better choice.

You venture up the last flight of stairs that leads to yet another hallway. However, this is the best hallway. This hallway has your bedroom door, and beyond that, lays your Princess and your bed.

You walk to the end of the hall to find Maverick and Eagle Eye bickering like an old married couple again. You’re not in the mood to talk to them, and they don’t even seem to notice you. You hear them argue about what sandwich tastes better; a daisy or a sunflower sandwich. You’re not interested. You think they’re both wrong, but you don’t get involved. Bacon sandwich is best sandwich, but it’s probably for the best that you don’t tell them that.

You simply walk up to the door, the guards open it while continuing to argue, not even acknowledging your existence with words, and you walk through. You don’t care that the guards aren’t talking to you. You really don’t want them to. The door shuts behind you as you take your first steps in the room. You are momentarily blinded by the darkness, but your eyes quickly adapt, just as they always do.

You strip off all of your clothes as you walk over to the bed, merely throwing all the discards at various points on the floor. You don’t have to pick them up, so who cares?

You pull back the covers and are about to enter to magnificent bed, but you find it totally empty. Celestia is no where to be found.

You lift up the covers, no Celestia.

You check under the bed, no Celestia.

You look over to the balcony doors, they are wide open.

You yawn. ‘Guess she’s over yonder,’ you think.

You tiredly make your way over to the balcony doors to get your marefriend. You want to curl up with her and fall asleep for a couple more hours. If you’re lucky.

The balcony is massive. It stretches 30 feet from the door to the stone railing that surrounds the balcony. Marble tiles line the entire balcony floor. It’s the perfect place to get a view of Equestria, gaze at the sky, or watch the sunset with the one you love.

But the balcony has always kind of scared you. You’re probably a thousand or so feet above Canterlot, which is built into the top of a mountain, making the balcony look even higher up than it actually is. Heights scare you. Celestia says that you’re just overreacting, but she’s part pegasus, so what would she know? Then again, Spike told you Fluttershy was afraid of heights… Whatever.

You stand in the doorway that leads out to the balcony and see your Princess sitting on her rump, gazing up at the beautiful night sky. Luna really does outdo herself. Celestia has her back turned towards you, so all you see is her gorgeous flowing mane and back. She is so beautiful.

You begin your approach towards her. “Celestia?” you yawn out to her. You don’t know what to say, you just want her to come to bed.

Upon hearing your words, her ears perk up and a foreleg immediately shoots up to her face. ‘What is she doing?’ you ask yourself.

After a few seconds of walking, you finally reach her. You wrap your arms around her and pull your chest against her back. ‘Her fur is so soft! This is amazing!’ You smile. You nuzzle your cheek against the back of her neck.

You hear Celestia sniffle and see her bring her foreleg back up to her face. You feel her breathing quicken.

“Celestia? Honey? You okay?” you ask, deeply concerned over the emotional state of your marefriend.

“…Y-yes,” she barely manages to squeak out.

You let go of her and walk around to her side. She quickly turns her head away from you.

“Celestia? What’s wrong?” your concern is only growing as time passes. ‘Why won’t she look at me? Why is she out here? What is she doing?’ Your mind is flooded with questions over your Princess.

You reach out your hand and place it on her cheek. She shudders under your touch.

“Celestia, I need you to look at me.” She doesn’t move. “Celestia, please, look at me.” She looks down, but not at you.

Refusing to wait any longer, you pull her head so that you are now both face to face. Her eyes are shut tightly.

“Celestia,” you say firmly, “I need you to look at me. Right now.” You cup her face with both your hands.

Her eyes flutter, but remain closed. Gradually, they begin to open, and you see her beautiful purple eyes. But that’s not all. You see the whites of her eyes are now red, as if she has been crying.

“Honey,” you gasp, “what’s wrong? What happened?” You have no idea as to why Celestia would’ve been crying. You have never seen Celestia cry. Nopony has. It is probably the rarest sight in the world. You don’t even know if she’s ever cried in her entire life.

Her bottom lip begins to tremble violently as she looks at you. She quickly snatches you up in her forelegs, pulls you tightly against her chest, and wraps her wings around you.

‘Can’t breathe,’ was your first thought. Celestia hugs way too tightly.

“I was so afraid!” Celestia whispers loudly.

‘What?’

“Afraid of what?” you squeak out. What does a goddess have to fear?

“I… I thought you were going to get hurt…” she pulls you in even tighter now.

“Celestia… I can’t… breathe…" her grip loosens and she lets go of you entirely. She takes a step back and looks down, dejected.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

That surprised you. Celestia has never acted this way around you, or anypony for that matter. This is nothing like her usual confident and domineering self. She usually tends to act like the ruler of a country, even when she is only around you.

“Don’t be sorry, honey,” you say reassuringly. “I love you. You love me. There isn’t a reason to be sorry.” You step forward and lock her in a hug. You nuzzle her cheek. “And there’s no reason to be worried. I’m fine. It was just a bunch of drunks after a hoofball game. Besides, I think the ruler of Equestria should be a little more worried over political things, and not just a bunch of bibulous assholes.”

She hugs you back and takes a deep breath. “My top priority is you now. First you, then everything else. I will not lose you.” She hugs you tighter. “I’ve never loved anything as much as I’ve loved you... I'm never letting you go.”

You are touched. No one has ever loved you as much as Celestia just said she did. You hug her tighter and take a deep breath of your own.

“Honey,” you whisper, relishing in how good it feels to call someone ‘honey’, “I swear to you, that every night when you get into that bed, I will be next to you. And every morning when you wake up, I will be next to you. I will always be here for you, Celestia. You will never lose me.”

She sniffles. “Promise?” she asks in a sad-sounding whisper.

“Promise,” you reply with a huge grin. You pull back just enough to deliver a loving kiss upon her lips.

You rarely have to comfort Celestia. If anything, she is the one comforting you. This is a very strange time.

“Come on,” you whisper after pulling away, “let’s get to bed while we still can.”

She sniffles. You put your arm around her neck after she puts her wing over the back and side of your naked form, and slowly walk back to the bed.

You get in, lie on your back, and momentarily stare up at the white ceiling. You feel Celestia climb in on the left side of the bed. She snuggles herself up against your side, and puts her head on your chest.

“I love you,” she declares, albeit quietly.

You wrap your arm around your Princess and pull her in a little closer.

“I love you too, honey, and I always will,” you sincerely respond before closing your eyes, and drifting off into a very peaceful sleep.