You have been listening to the horse doctor talk for a couple of hours now. You felt bad for flipping out on him when you were awake last. Considering that he’s merely a figment of your imagination, the least you could do is talk to the poor guy. He even had to knock you out to keep you from killing yourself, so the least you could do for the poor guy is listen to him without the intention of suicide and/or homicide. You tried to focus solely on his voice, but you couldn’t keep from noticing that he is a horse. How could you not?

He told you earlier that he is not a horse, he is a unicorn.

Right. That makes much more sense. It’s weird to have a doctor that is a horse, but a unicorn? Yeah, much better.

He told you that you are currently in the town of Ponyville, located in the country of Equestria.

Of course.

Ponyville is apparently full of horses, such as himself. There are apparently three races of horses that live in Equestria: pegasus, earth, and of course, unicorn. You haven’t seen the other two races yet, but he said you will soon.

Pegasi can fly. You already knew that though. You don’t know where you learned it, but you knew that pegasi were horses that had wings, and therefore flew. What baffled you was that the doctor told you that pegasi, because they can fly, control the weather. You wanted to ask about what he meant. Surely flying horses don’t literally control the weather.… right? Stranger things have happened, you suppose. You’ll ask later.

The way the horse doctor described earth ponies sounds like they are just regular horses. Work horses. Apparently they farm. You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea of horses farming. At least not without human assistance. But that’s for a later explanation. Earth ponies are responsible for all of Equestria’s food production. Without them, everyone would die, you guess. Seems legit so far.

The doctor eventually explains what unicorns do. By the way he explained it, it seems as though they have done absolutely nothing productive whatsoever for most of Equestria’s history. They seemed to have mooched off of the other races to stay alive. Nowadays, however, unicorns are mighty warriors, impeccable doctors, and can do magic and shit. Pretty cool. But very scary. He goes on to say that he used a spell earlier to put you to sleep.

Equestria is apparently run by two Princesses that also are Goddesses. Wow. That’s pretty freaky. These ponies think that their rulers are Gods. You know who else thought that? Egyptians and Romans. And look what happened to their once great civilizations.

He sees the inquisitive look on your face and explains more about the Princesses. They are a species called alicorn. Alicorns are a mix of all three races. The strength of an earth pony, the magical abilities of a unicorn, and the ability to fly like a pegasus.

He claims that they are both Goddesses. Being from the planet Earth, with all of your Earthly influences, you are skeptical as to the verisimilitude of the horse doctor’s claim. He says that they are thousands of years old. One, Celestia, raises the sun to begin the day and lowers it to end the day. Luna, the younger of the two, raises the moon to begin the night and decorates the night sky with stars and other nightly things, and lowers the moon to end the night.

The horse doctor explains the Nightmare Moon incident that occurred fairly recently, it would seem. Something he calls the Elements of Harmony stopped Luna’s evil form from ruling Equestria.

He finally tells you that the Elements of Harmony were actually the ones who found you, whilst you were dying. He tells you their names, but you forget them immediately. Names in… wherever you are don’t seem to be very normal.

‘This is the most in-depth dream I’ve ever had… or someone drugged me. I hate people,’ you think to yourself as the horse doctor continues to elaborate on your situation.

The doctor begins asking you questions on where you are from. You respond in turn to all of his questions. It would appear that the horse doctor has never even heard of humans by the way he reacts to your explaining of Earth.

You give a brief sum-up of Earth’s history…well you tell him whatever it is you know. Not much in Earth’s history except for wars and violence. This seemingly appalls the doctor, but he continues to listen to you anyway.

He tells you Equestria hasn’t been to war in over 200 years. Equestria is very peaceful. You respond by telling him that Earth has not gone more than 12 hours without a war starting somewhere. You don’t know if that is true, but it’s kind of fun to watch the doctor react to all the violence. He doesn’t seem to like it very much.

You ask what doctors do in Equestria if there isn’t any violence. He laughs at this.

“Nothing really,” he responds casually. “A few times a week a little filly or an old mare will fall down and hurt themselves. But honestly, before you, I’ve never actually had to do a legitimate operation where the patient’s life was on the line. Lucky for you, your organ systems seem to be the same as ponies, so the operation went a lot better than originally expected.”

He goes on to talk about all of your injuries. You have a pretty bad concussion, sprained some ligaments in your right foot, something poor happened to your right knee, your left ankle is sprained, you have cuts and bruises all over your body, especially your legs and arms. You sprained your right wrist, and your left arm has cuts all over it, but nothing more than that. You have a second degree burn mark on your lower right back, and there is something wrong with your spine or something. You didn’t really keep up with that part. But your back is in pain. Your face has various small cuts, but nothing more.

He finally begins to talk about your chest and stomach. He says some object went into your stomach and stuck out of your back. He didn’t know what the object was, but he removed it. He had to operate on various tissues in your stomach. You couldn’t keep track of what he was operating on, but it sounds like he fixed you up. You have a few broken and bruised ribs, but your heart seems to be fine. You have a pretty strong heart, according to the doctor.

“Wow,” you sigh. “Well, thanks doc. Sounds like you had a ton of work to do.”

He chuckles. “Oh, I know. It took 22 hours to fix everything up, but we think we did, despite you being a… what did you say you were again?”

“Human,” you smile.

“Human,” he echoes. “Mind if I ask you something?” you shake your head. “Are you a… carnivore?... I- I noticed that you have canines, which are found in meat eating species, so, uh-“

“Yes,” you cut him off. “I eat meat.” He suddenly looks panicked and begins to say something before you interject again. “But I don’t eat horse. Humans don’t do that.” At least most humans. “So if you’re afraid I’m going to eat you, don’t be. I won’t. It’s okay.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia! But anyway, you’re lucky that your anatomy is similar to ponies. Otherwise, you would be dead.”

Wow.

“Well,” you respond unsurely, “I guess it’s a good thing you were here then?”

“I’m always here. I’m a doctor. This is a hospital. We go together. But you should also thank those mares that found you. Without them, you would probably still be lying over at Sweet Apple Acres.”

Once again, you are unsure of how to respond. “Right,” you drawl out the word, much like Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers films. “Well, I’d love to meet them, but I, uh, can’t really move much. Can I?”

“I suppose not. But don’t worry, I think one of them is waiting out in the lobby for you. Would you like to see them now?”

‘Why are they waiting for me?’ you think to yourself.

“I’d love to meet them, if that is possible.”

“Of course, allow me to get them. Be right back.” The doctor exits the room and closes the door behind him.

You take a few moments to look around the room, as you did earlier. There is an empty bed to your left, a nightstand with a lamp to your right, and literally nothing else. The room is completely empty.

“Do they not have TV in Equestria?” you ask aloud. “That would suck.”

You hear the sound of many feet, -er, hooves hitting the floor. You guess the doctor is coming back. And he’s probably coming back with whoever got you here.

The door opens and in walks the horse doctor along with two feminine looking horses. You don’t know how exactly, but you’re positive they are both girls.

One is white, with purple hair and massive blue eyes. You can’t help but notice three diamonds right above her rump on either side of her. Girls on Earth would sometimes get tattoos on their butt, maybe she did too?

The other is orange, with blond hair mostly covered by a Stetson hat, and big emerald eyes. There are three apples on her rump too. Weird. But you guess it’s just a horse thing.

“Oh my,” the white one says in a British-ish accent, “you look much better than you did when we found you. How do you feel?”

You nod your head around. “Fine, I guess. Given the circumstances and all. The doctor tells me you are the ones who found me?”

“Yup,” the orange one pipes up. “We was just takin’ a stroll through Sweet Apple Acres, when Rarity here saw ya laying under a tree. You looked pretty bad then.”

You smile. “I felt really bad too. Thank you so much for bringing me here. It truly means a lot to me. May I ask your names?”

The white one puts a leg on her chest. “Of course, darling. I am Rarity. I own Carousel Boutique; it’s just down the road,” she states proudly.

The orange one rolls her eyes. “And Ah’m Applejack. Ah own and operate Sweet Apple Acres. It’s the apple farm that takes up half of Ponyville. Can’t miss it. Not to mention it’s where we found ya.”

“Thank you Miss Rarity and Miss Applejack. You two are truly the kindest beings I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. If I saw one of you lying under a tree back where I come from, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Think nothing of it, darling,” Rarity says.

“Yeah,” Applejack adds. “Anypony would’ve done it.”

“Regardless, I’m very thankful.”

“Would it be alright if we introduce you to a few of our friends?” Rarity asks, sounding a little nervous. “When we told them we found you, they all, well almost all, really wanted to meet you.”

The doctor steps in. “I’m sorry miss Rarity, but I do not believe he should be seeing anypony. At least not right now. I don’t want to overwhelm him. He didn’t exactly react in the best way when I first came in to check on him.”

“Oh?” Rarity looks at you.

“I’m feeling much better though, doc,” you cut in. “I talked to you for like, two hours. And now I’m even talking to them. I’d say that’s pretty good progress.”

The doctor looks around the room in thought. “Well, you have a good point. But, well, the ponies that would come in to see you, uh, aren’t very stable individuals. I don’t know how else to put that. I’m sorry.”

“Doc’s got a point there, Rarity,” Applejack adds. “Twilight’ll probably want to run some experiments on him. Try finding out what he is. Rainbow will probably want to fight him. Pinkie will probably want to throw him a ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party. And Fluttershy will either love him as much as her animals, or be so scared she won’t leave her house. Again.”

Wow. Interesting friends.

Rarity clicks her tongue a few times and shakes her head. “Applejack, Applejack, Applejack… I never thought you were so quick to assume. I mean, look at the two of us! I’m not trying to dress him up and you aren’t trying to make him work on the farm. Right?”

“…Ah guess you’re right. Welp, if he feels like he’s OK enough to meet our friends, then I guess that’s how it should be.”

You don’t even think before responding. “I’d love to.”

==========

You blink your eyes open slowly and groggily. You’re awake, but you don’t want to be. Why would you ever want to be? Mornings suck. All mornings suck. Doesn’t matter if it’s your birthday, anniversary, anything. When you physically rise before the sun, it sucks. But you do it anyway, for only one reason.

And that reason has her head nestled under your chin and her forelegs wrapped around you. You lie on your back, staring up at the dark ceiling. Your room is quiet: the only noise is Celestia’s soft snoring. It’s not really snoring, just breathing really, but whatever.

This happens more often than one may think. You waking up before your alarm, that is. Your internal clock often wakes you up mere minutes before your alarm startles you fully awake. You look over and see your clock reads 5:28. Yep. Just a couple of minutes before the damn thing goes off.

You begin to shuffle your way towards the alarm clock which seems to be a thousand feet away. You don’t get more than two inches from your original laying position when the forelegs around your waist tiredly pull you back.

“Mmm…” Celestia grumbles. “No.”

You smile and continue to shuffle towards the clock again. Only a matter of seconds before that thing goes off. You hate it when it goes off. The noise it makes is loud and terrible and you want to strangle someone whenever you hear it.

Once again, you only get a few inches away from Celestia until she pulls you back again.

“Noooo,” She grumbles, albeit a bit louder this time.

She pulls you in as close as you two can physically possibly be before wrapping a wing overtop of you.

“Stay,” she demands, as though you are obligated to listen.

“No,” you say in the most childlike tone your tired mind can muster. You immediately begin to shuffle farther to your side of the bed.

You feel Celestia hop up and come down quickly, right on top of you, effectively pinning you to the soft mattress. She puts her head under your chin again.

“Yes,” she retorts, her voice muffled. You try to shuffle again, but you can’t. It’s hopeless. All is lost.

You don’t know what to do now. You reach a hand up and begin stroking her neck and multi-colored mane. Her mane doesn’t even feel like hair. It’s more like gentle running water in a creek or stream. You can feel it, but at the same time, you can’t. It’s weird, but awesome.

The alarm goes off. The terrible beeping noise echoes throughout your grand bedroom. You want to throw Celestia off you and catapult the damn machine off your 5,000 foot balcony. But at the same time, you don’t want Celestia to move. But you do really want that machine to shut up.

Celestia’s horn glows gold, as does the beeping machine. The alarm clock is pulled out from the wall by the plug, effectively shutting it off, before being unceremoniously dumped into the adjacent trashcan.

“Better,” Celestia sighs, her eyes never opening, her head never leaving your chest. And you agree with her. This is much better.

“Celestia?” you whisper gently as you stroke her mane.

“Hmm?” she responds.

“Don’t you have a sun to rise?”

There is silence for a few moments before Celestia responds. “Mmhmm.” She repositions herself slightly on top of you, finding a more comfortable laying position.

“I thought so.” You’re not going to tell your marefriend to get off of you. You love it when you cuddle, and you don’t want it to stop. Ever.

You close your eyes again, and your thoughts flicker to Celestia. Even when she is with you, she is usually the only thing on your mind. The only sound in the room is Celestia’s soft breathing.

You think of how wonderful life with Celestia is. She is the kindest, most beautiful creature you have ever had the pleasure of even knowing. And over these past few months, you have really gotten to know her (wink). There is not a single place you would want to be rather than cuddled up in your bed with your Princess.

Eventually however, you begin to think of your old life back in the realm of bipedal Homo sapiens. You think of your parents, your family, your friends. You miss them. You miss them quite a bit.

But you don’t miss them to the point that you would ever leave Celestia. A few months ago, you would’ve jumped at just the chance to go back home. Now though, now that you made a new, fantastic life for yourself, you don’t want to leave.

Your parents probably miss you. Your family may miss you. Your friends might miss you. You miss them. You will never see them, and they will never see you again. They probably assume that you’re dead. You hope they didn’t grieve for long, for you are not dead. If you are dead, than you are definitely in heaven.

You sigh. ‘We should probably get up now,’ you think. ‘The sun doesn’t raise itself… Wow, I never thought I’d be thinking that.’

“Honey?” you whisper, keeping your eyes closed while continuing to stroke her mane.

“Hmm?” Celestia sighs, unmoving.

“I hate to be the responsible one, but we probably should get up now. Your little ponies will probably be a little confused as to why the sun is not rising this morning.”

You know the both of you missed a couple hours of sleep last night, and that you are abnormally tired. Alas, it is your duty to rise and shine. Literally. You can imagine that it would be rather difficult to raise the sun when you feel exhausted, but Celestia really needs to do it.

There is a moment of silence. “I don’t want to. Too tired. Luna will do it.” She does not seem to be in the mood to be getting up this morning; which, when it comes to Celestia, is very, very rare.

“C’mon,” you say as you begin to sit up. “Go raise the sun, then we can take a shower. Mmkay?”

“Noo,” she groans, trying to force you back down. “Sleep.”

Celestia is stronger than she looks and she succeeds in shoving you back into the soft mattress. You don’t have to go to work until 11 today, but she is always working. And, as the responsible adult in the room, it is your job to ensure that your Princess gets up, raises the sun, and starts the day.

You didn’t want to resort to this, but it appears you have no choice.

“Celestia,” you say sternly. “I swear to God, if you don’t get up and raise the sun right now, I will make you.”

She giggles softly. “And how do you plan on doing that?” she rubs her head against your chest, getting more comfortable.

“How do you think?” you respond, moving your open hand in front of her field of vision, and flexing it.

Celestia gasps. “You wouldn’t dare.” She says. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say she sounds worried; almost scared.

“Try me,” you begin moving your hand towards her sensitive wing.

“Okay! Okay! I’m getting up,” she groans as she rolls off of you.

It’s a good thing Celestia is ticklish; otherwise you would never be able to threaten her with anything. She’s the same size as you, so you can’t threaten her with physical strength, not that a man should do so to a woman. She’s also way smarter than you are, so she has the ability to make you look like an idiot whenever she wants to. Thankfully though, she never wants to, but if she did, she could without even trying.

The only advantage you hold over your beautiful marefriend is that she is ticklish and you have fingers. And, lucky for you, she knows that she is at a disadvantage when it comes to this. Thus, when you threaten her with it, she will obey. She hates it when you do it, but watching her react is hilarious and adorable.

After you’re sure she is out of the bed, you close your eyes again, and look forward to a few more moments and darkness and peace before your Princess raises the sun.

You sigh in comfort as you settle in. Even though your eyes are closed, your vision quickly becomes bright, as though someone is shining a flashlight at your face. You feel yourself being lifted off of the bed, although nothing appears to be physically touching you.

You open your eyes and look over at your Princess. She has not dressed herself, and she is looking at you as though she is disappointed.

“Ah, ah, ah,” she admonishes. “If I have to get up, you have to get up too.”

“Aww,” you whine as you float through the air. “But I don’t want to! Celestia! Noo!”

“You have nopony to blame except yourself. You were the one who chose to be with me, right? Well, suck it up.”

“Hmph,” you continue to pout as you finally reach Celestia. She places your naked form on her back as she walks out onto the balcony. “Mornings. Suck.”

You lay down on Celestia’s back and wrap your arms loosely around her neck. You don’t like it when Celestia carries you around. It makes you feel useless, which is not a good feeling when you are in the presence of your lover. But she seems to enjoy carrying you. Why else would she do it? Unfortunately however, due to your anatomy, you cannot carry Celestia. It’s just not possible.

“Celestia?” you whisper as you close your eyes.

“Yes, dear?” she responds, sounding much more awake.

“If you insist on carrying me, you need to get a saddle. A male human’s body is not built to ride bare-back.” You wince as Celestia continues to walk out onto the balcony. “Plus, I think you would look sexy in a saddle.”

She giggles. “In all my life, I have never worn a saddle. Why should I start now?”

“Celestia,” you say wincing again, “you’re going to damage a small part of me in a large way if you keep doing this.”

She laughs again. “I will consider it. No promises though. I thought you liked it when I didn’t wear anything.”

“Oh, I do. But, unless we are, y’know, doing anything, there is no point in me riding you.”

Celestia comes to a stop, and you assume that she has reached the end of the balcony. Your eyes are still closed, so you’re not entirely sure. Your vision begins to slowly get a little brighter.

“Well, I enjoy carrying you around,” Celestia says. “I suppose it makes me feel like I have a greater purpose…I don’t know… I just really like it.”

“Well, hon,” you say, “if it makes you feel good, then keep doing it. I won’t mind it if you enjoy it so much. It’s just my gentleman’s region begs you to get a saddle.”

She giggles. “I already told you, sweetie. I will consider it.”

Your vision slowly becomes brighter as the sun makes its way over the horizon. Watching the sunrise could be beautiful, if you weren’t so exhausted all the time. You know the sun rises just beyond the town of Ponyville, which is visible from your bedroom’s balcony. When the sun rises over the town, it’s a breathtaking site. But at 5 in the morning, you could care less.

You hear Celestia take a deep breath. “I love watching the sunrise,” she says. “In all my years, I have never grown tired of seeing it. And I never will.”

Your grip gets a little tighter around her neck as you pull yourself up slightly. You nuzzle your cheek against her neck, keeping your eyes closed.

“I love you,” you say.

“I love you, too.” She turns around and begins walking back to the bedroom. “How about we take that shower now?”

“Sounds good,” you mumble.

You love Celestia’s shower. Showers back on Earth had a faucet that the water would come out of. So do showers in Equestria. But, Celestia’s shower is a little different.

Rather than just a single faucet, the entire roof above the shower acts as a faucet. Celestia is so big, it takes a lot more water to wash her. Same goes with you, especially when you shower together. Instead of having the water bathe one area of your tired form, the water covers your entire body, as if it was raining. The shower is big enough to accommodate three Celestias, but thankfully, there is only one, and she is yours.

Now that you think about it though, having multiple Celestias could be fun. A lot of fun.

You get off of your Princess as you enter the shower to turn on the faucet. You adjust it to a setting that isn’t freezing and isn’t boiling lava hot. While waiting for the water to adjust properly, you begin kissing your Princess. You don’t always take showers with Celestia, but when you do, you become very aroused very quickly. Celestia’s wings begin to rise as you continue to kiss her.

The water reaches a reasonable temperature as you pull away from Celestia. You simply take a moment to gaze into her big, beautiful purple eyes. Her mane is no longer flowing around as it usually is; rather, it is waterlogged and draped down over her neck. She is gorgeous, especially when she’s wet.

You reach for one of those giant fluffy sponges that hang over the faucet handle and a bottle of body wash. Celestia used to have servants scrub and wash her, which is really hot when you think about it. And you like to think about it. But now that you are here, she no longer needs anypony to wash her. She has you for that.

You don’t mind scrubbing her at all. You will always jump at a chance to feel Celestia up. Not that she minds, of course. She wants you to. At least, you think so. Why else would she let you?

You pour some body wash into the fluffy sponge device and begin to scrub your Goddess. You start at the neck and slowly work your way down her back. You’re very careful when scrubbing her wings. They are very sensitive, and the last thing you would want to do would be to hurt your marefriend in any way.

You are always sure to slowly scrub up each of Celestia’s legs. Especially her hind-legs. You slowly rub in miniature circles from her hoof to her body on all four legs. Upon reaching her cutie marks, which are also pretty sensitive apparently, you scrub a little slower, just to watch Celestia react. Usually her wings extend even further before she turns her head and gives you a disapproving look with her cheeks flushed. You find the looks she gives you undeniably cute, so it’s rather hard to take her seriously when she really wants to be.

If you really wanted to, you could scrub Celestia’s most private areas. But you don’t. You would only do that if you were really turned on, and planned on acting on your basic male instincts. The farthest you will go on the average morning is lightly rubbing her inner thighs.

You finish scrubbing her and begin scrubbing yourself. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just another day, showering with the alicorn Goddess of the Sun. Like I said, nothing out of the ordinary.

You finish washing yourself and your marefriend, get out of the shower, dry off, and prepare to go downstairs for another Royal breakfast.

“That was lovely, my dear,” you hear Celestia say as you put on some pants and she puts on her horseshoes.

“It always is,” you respond simply. “Your shower is so awesome. And sharing it with my beautiful Princess is a nice bonus.”

“And so is touching me, right?” she smiles.

“Absolutely!” you exclaim, laughing. “You are just so beautiful, and I am so lucky. I’m basically living the dream of every stallion in Equestria.”

She laughs as she walks over to you. “Ready to go?”

You quickly slip on your shoes. “Ready when you are.”

Like most mornings, Celestia puts her wing around your back and side and you wrap an arm around her shoulder. You both make your way to your bedroom doors and head towards the Royal Dining Room.

==========

You rest your head against Celestia’s as you descend the final staircase. On the way down this morning, you remembered to tell Celestia about how much you despise the ancient stairs you walk up and down on a daily basis. She told these stairs were a part of Equestria’s history. These stairs have been standing ever since she was born thousands of years ago. There was no way she was going to remove them, simply because it would more convenient.

“Easy for you to say,” you respond. “You can fly. You don’t even need these stairs. The only way for me to get up to our room is to have a heart attack.”

“Am I not worth it?” she asks.

You kiss her cheek. “I’d do anything for you. I’m just saying it’d be nice if you would install an elevator or something. After working out all day, I usually don’t want to come home and work out.”

Celestia rolls her eyes. “Maybe I should put in a complaint box? You seem to be having an awful lot of suggestions this morning. Besides, I think you need the exercise. It makes you look sexy.” She winks at you.

“No, it makes me look sweaty and tired. Have you not realized that whenever I finally reach our bedroom that I will more often than not get into bed?”

“I always assumed you were getting into bed so fast because you wanted to sleep with me,” she muses audibly.

“That is one of the two reasons I do get into bed. But the other is that I’m just so tired. Stairs. Suck.”

“Have you realized that you are rather pessimistic in the morning?”

“I’m just a little irritated because I’m tired and there are way too many damn stairs. My anger is there for a reason.”

Celestia shakes her head. “I’m not putting in an elevator.”

You throw up your arm that is not around Celestia’s shoulder. “Aw come on!”

Celestia sticks her tongue out at you.

You finally round the final corner and enter the Royal Dining Room. You are relieved to see your beloved seat. After walking for God knows how long just to find this room you are tired and desperately want to sit down.

You see Shining talking animatedly with his wife, who is trying very hard not to fall asleep. You can’t hear what they are talking about, but knowing Shining, it’s probably something pointless that Cadence will forget by the time Celestia takes her seat. Not that Shining isn’t interesting or anything. It’s just Cadence cannot be conversed with on the average morning.

You see Luna staring at that same spot on the table with her head directly above the steaming cup of black coffee. Her ears are folded back and she seems to be in a daze by the look in her eyes.

“We will continue this discussion later,” Celestia says as you walk into the room.

“Fine,” you sigh, defeated. You know it’s useless arguing against Celestia or try to get her to do something she doesn’t want to, but you try anyway. And fail.

You both share a kiss before breaking away and heading for your respective seats on opposite ends of the table.

“Mornin’,” you greet the Princess of the Night.

“We fail to see what it is that is so good about it,” she mumbles irritated without moving her eyes or ears.

“I never said it was good,” you say sitting down. “Just said it was morning. Simply stating a fact.”

“Hmm, we misheard.”

You roll your eyes. “Clearly. So how you doin’ Luna? Long night?”

“Oh yes,” she nods. “Very long. We went to the hoofball game last night. Canterlot won 16-5.”

“I know. I already heard about it. How ‘bout after the game?”

Luna’s ears perk up before folding back down. “We, uh, may have partaken in the post-match merriment.”

‘What the hell does that mean?’ you ask yourself.

Luna sees the perplexed look on your face and sighs. “We went out drinking.”

Oh.

You can’t help but smile. “I never thought you were one to drink Luna,” you say nudging her shoulder. “So, how much did you drink?”

“Enough to get me drunk,” she responds without missing a beat.

You laugh. You suddenly find yourself very interested in what happened next. You’re almost positive Luna has never been drunk before. She’s like a 5 year old.

“So what did you do for the rest of the night?” you ask trying desperately to stop laughing before Shining sees you.

“We-“ Luna begins before she is interrupted by a loud thud.

You look over to the opposite side of the room to see the Dining Room doors flung wide open. In the center of the doorway stands-

“D’ah shit,” you mumble turning to Luna, who is looking sadly back at you. “I hate when he comes to breakfast.”

Walking through the doorway is none other than Prince Blueblood. His usual styled blond mane is disheveled and unkempt, especially compared to his normal standards. His white fur doesn’t look very white. Usually, his coat is gleaming white. His coat is so shiny it has been known to blind ponies who look at it for more than 5 seconds. But today…

His coat seems pink. A very light, subtle pink, but it still looks like it’s pink. You know Blueblood would never leave his room unless he was looking absolutely perfect. And he rarely ever comes to breakfast. He only shows up on holidays or birthdays or if he is in a rare good mood. And the more you look at it, his mane looks a little pink too. What did he do?

As he walks through the Dining Room, you can tell he is fuming. He looks pissed, so he’s probably here to vent his anger. Only problem is Luna and you don’t give one single fuck as to why he is irritated this morning, so he will probably complain to Celestia.

He approaches Celestia and takes a deep bow. “Good morning, Aunt Celestia,” he says. You hate the sound of his voice. “You are looking as lovely as ever today.” What a kiss-ass. Only you are allowed to compliment Celestia.

Celestia smiles. “Thank you, Blueblood. Always the charmer.”

Fuck. Blueblood.

Prince Blueblood walks around the table towards his seat. His eyes lock onto you and Luna and gives you both a look that could kill. That is, if you were actually afraid of him. Which you are not. There isn’t a reason to be.

A servant seats Blueblood before asking what he would like for breakfast.

“Coffee,” Blueblood says. “Extra cream and sugar.”

“And for you sir?” the waiter turns to you.

“The usual, please,” you respond. It’s nice to have manners. Something Prince Assbag doesn’t understand.

The waiter nods and walks away back to the kitchen. You like the wait staff, and you hope they like you. You try to be as courteous as possible to them. Hopefully they won’t spit in your food.

“So, Blue,” you begin, trying to start a conversation, “what are you doin’ up so early? It’s still morning.”

He snorts and glowers at you and Luna, who has returned her gaze to the same spot on the table.

“I think both of you know exactly why I’m here. Don’t you?” he growls. Luna doesn’t even move. You don’t know how to respond. You haven’t even seen the little bugger in a week, not that you’re complaining. It was the best week of your life. So what is he talking about?

“Um, no?” you respond unsure.

“The both of you know exactly why I’m here,” he hisses, keeping his voice low.

“I got no idea what you’re talking about, Blue.”

“Stop. Calling. Me. Blue.” He’s really mad now.

“Blue, I will call you anything I want,” you say proudly. “One of the many benefits of sleeping with your aunt.”

He growls at you and Luna raises her ears as the waiter comes back with your cereal and Blueblood’s coffee. The waiter must see that Blueblood looks angry because he takes off immediately after setting down your breakfast.

You love using the ‘I’m sleeping with your aunt who is a Goddess and Princess of the land in which you live so what are you going to do about it?’ card. Luna doesn’t usually like you using that card, and you obviously understand why. But it makes Blueblood really mad.

“I hate you both,” he whispers harshly through gritted teeth, glancing at Luna.

“Noted,” you say before taking a spoonful of your cereal in your mouth. “So,” you say still chewing, “what’s got your panties in a twist then?” Ponies don’t wear underwear, at least you think so, so he probably doesn’t understand your insult.

He takes a deep breath. “Two hours ago, somepony flew in through my window.”

‘Couldn’t have been me,’ you think. ‘I can’t fly.’

“The vile beast slurred ‘Happy Birthday’ before dumping an entire cake on top of me while I was still lying comfortably in my very own bed!”

You do your best to control your laughter. ‘That doesn’t make any sense!’

“The dark creature laughed before flying right back out of my quarters! And I know exactly who it was.” His gaze shifts to Luna who is still looking at the table with her lips forming a small smile.

“Surely Prince Blueblood,” you say melodramatically, placing a hand on Luna’s shoulder, “you don’t assume that it is our own Princess of the Night who is responsible for such a travesty!”

“I do not assume,” Blueblood’s gaze does not leave Luna, “I am positive it was her. Which means you were involved in some way,” he points an accusing hood at you.

“Wasn’t me, Blue,” you take another bite of cereal. “I was asleep most of the night. Woke up to put down a riot but nothing more. Ask Celestia if you really want to know.”

“Do you know how long it took me to wash this filth out of my coat and mane?!” he exclaims. You could care less.

“Blue, I don’t care. How about you try locking your doors and windows. Avoid the whole situation.”

“Two hours!” he ignores you. “From the moment it happened to about 5 minutes ago, I was washing myself! For two hours! And I’m still filthy! And my birthday is not for another whole week!”

You laugh at this. He gets so worked up over the dumbest things. Luna begins laughing too. Granted, if someone flew into your room and dumped a cake on you, you would not hesitate to kill them where they float. But, alas, it didn’t happen to you. So it’s funny.

“I knew it was you!” Blueblood legitimately shouts, pointing to Luna.

Luna winces and rubs her temples. “Shh! Not so loud,” she whispers. Poor, hungover Luna.

“What are you guys talking about?” you hear Shining say from across the table. You don’t want anyone else to know what you’re talking about. The three ponies on the opposite end of the long table don’t even know you and Luna strongly detest Blueblood, and you hope to keep it that way.

“Nothing, nothing,” Blueblood says before you can. “Just discussing my upcoming birthday celebration.”

‘Oh yeah, Blue’s party is in a week,’ you think. ‘I’ll have to remember to go out and get him… nothing.’

Everypony’s attention returns to whatever they were previously doing.

“Well,” you say, “I guess that explains why you yelled ‘Happy Birthday.’ Eh, Luna?” you nudge Luna’s shoulder with your elbow.

“We do not even recall doing such an action,” she says burying her face in her hooves.

You laugh at this. Luna definitely has never been drunk before, so you get to be here for her very first hangover.

You’re so proud. Your little Luna is finally growing up. You fight back the urge to cry tears of joy. But then you realize that you aren’t even related to Luna, so instead of being proud, you are only amused at her inebriated state.

Then again, you’re practically her older brother, despite you being a few thousand years younger, so your pride in Luna swiftly returns. You take it upon yourself to look after her.

“C’mon Luna,” you say, rising from your chair. “I think it’s time you went to bed.” You help Luna out of her seat. She stumbles slightly as she wraps a wing around you to keep her balance.

“You two aren’t going anywhere!” Blueblood hisses. “You two will answer for vandalizing my beautiful coat and mane!”

“Blue, shut up,” you turn back to him. “Luna’s not in any state to deal with you and I don’t want to talk to you anyway.” You begin to walk away before turning back one final time. “And if you disturb Princess Luna’s rest in any way, I will have you murdered in your sleep. Got it?”

He doesn’t seem threatened by you at all. He just sits in his chair and scowls at you and Luna.You assume he understands. You meant what you said. If he bothers Luna, you will have him killed. It wouldn’t even be hard, especially considering he doesn’t lock his doors or windows.

You begin your walk over to Celestia to tell her where you are going. You plan on coming back down after helping Luna upstairs, so you may as well let her know.

“Celestia?” you say, trying to get her attention as you approach.

“Yes, dear?” she asks looking up at you with a soft smile. You love her smile. It is absolutely gorgeous. And so is her voice. Your heart melts whenever she says something to you. Even if it is something condescending, you can’t help from keeping your knees from wobbling and your heart racing.

“I’mma take Luna upstairs. She doesn’t feel very well. I think she needs to get some rest.”

Celestia’s smile falls off her face at your words. She turns her gaze towards her younger sister. “Luna, are you alright? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, dear sister,” Luna tries sounding normal. Or as normal as Luna can be you suppose. “Merely a headache. Nothing bed rest cannot fix, We assure you.” Her wing around you tightens a little.

“OK, do you need somepony to check on you later?”

Luna tiredly shakes her head. “Nay, sister. We are fine, really. We simply require rest.”

Celestia nods. “Ok, Luna. Go off to bed. I will see you tonight, then?”

“Of course, sister.”

“I’ll be right back hon,” you say as you turn around and attempt to find Luna’s tower.

==========

“…and then, and then he stands on his bed, absolutely covered in pink frosting, a-and he yells, ‘You will pay for such a travesty you vile creature!’” Luna bursts out into laughter as she continues regaling this morning’s events to you. She’s laughing so hard you struggle to even hold her up. What she did was pretty damn funny, but not as funny as she seems to think it is. She can be such a child.

“So what did you do?” you ask trying to hold back your laughter. You find her inebriated state much funnier than her story. She continues to stumble as you ascend the final staircase before reaching the top of her tower.

“We left!” she starts laughing maniacally. It astounds you how Luna can be entertained by the small things in life, but you guess after spending a thousand years in isolation, just being around people should be funny.

You find yourself laughing as you reach the top of the stairs. You see Luna’s two guards look at you quizzically. Luna’s guards are a little different than Celestia’s guards. They are both pegasi, but instead of white, they are gray. And instead of legit wings, they have the wings of bats. If it’s meant to intimidate you, it doesn’t. It just looks weird. Their armor is not the Royal gold, rather, it is various shades of blue. Light blue helmets and dark blue chest plates. It might scare other ponies, but to you, they look adorable.

“I thought you said you didn’t remember anything that happened,” you state.

“Our memory seems to be returning to us. However, most of the night is still in a haze.”

Luna’s wing grip on your back tightens as she stumbles for the thousandth time.

“How much did you drink?” you ask as your laughter subsides. Luna’s chamber doors open for you as you both approach.

“We do not remember,” she mumbles with a soft smile. “It was a crazy night.”

“Oh, I know.” You remember the riot you had to quell mere hours ago. You wouldn’t mind never doing that again. A little action is good for the military, but not at 3 in the morning or whenever it was.

An interesting thing about Luna’s room is that there are no lights. There are no lamps, candles, or any light source whatsoever inside of the room. Instead, her room is solely lighted by the sun during the day and the moon at night. The room is basically the same as yours and Celestia’s, but the color is different. The wallpaper is darker and covered in miniature quarter moons and stars and her bed sheets and drapes are a very dark purple. She has a fireplace, but you have never seen her use it. The only reason she has the room is for sleeping. She doesn’t really do anything else in here. Even when she gets you so you two can just talk, you never go to her room.

“Alright, Luna,” you say as you approach her bed, “let’s get you into bed.” You walk alongside her bed, pull down her covers, and gently ease her down on it. You pull the covers back over her after she gets settled in. You reach down and give her a big hug. You know that Luna is very lonely, so hugging makes her happy, at least for a while. You used to be lonely too, and hugging always made you feel better.

Luna wraps her forelegs around you. “We bid you a good day,” she whispers.

“Sleep well, Luna. You need it,” you say, breaking off the hug. You begin walking towards the door.

“Oh,” you say, turning around. “Next time you prank Blue, come get me. I would have loved to see the look on his face.”

Luna looks up at you. “We tried but your guards told us you were not present... at least We think that is what occurred. It is still difficult for us to remember.”

Hmm, you must have been working. Oh well. “Thanks for trying anyway, Luna. And don’t tell Celestia about anything.” She is still under the impression you are all friends.

“We would never do such a thing as foolish as that.”

You smile and take a deep bow. “Good night, Princess. Sleep well. You need it.”

You walk out of the room and head back down the stairs.

==========

You walk back down the stairs of Luna’s grand tower alone. You hope to see Celestia before she goes off to work. You don’t have to be at work for a few more hours, so you don’t know what to do.

You walk through one of the entrances to the Royal Dining Room to see Celestia sitting by herself at the long table, reading the newspaper and drinking her tea. The entrance in which you are standing is located directly behind Celestia. She can’t see you.

‘Well,’ you think, ‘I don’t have anything to do… and she’s right there… so, why not?’ your brain quickly formulates a plan of action. One that Celestia will probably not enjoy, but you will thoroughly.

Before entering the Dining Room, you decide to enter stealth mode via taking off your shoes. Those things tend to make a lot of noise, but without them, you’re like a ninja. A ninja in socks.

You begin tiptoeing into the room, keeping your gaze glued upon Celestia’s ears. You know that if they move, she hears you. You look around the room periodically, making sure the wait staff is nowhere to be found. If they see you, Celestia might see them, and then, in turn, see you. You do not wish to compromise your mission, so you keep vigilant.

You are almost within reach of your Princess. You are so close you can smell her perfume. Very sweet and pleasant. Your mind begins to enter a daze as you continue to breathe in her perfume. You try to keep yourself from choking.

‘Why the hell does she wear this!?’ you exclaim in your head. ‘It’s as if she wants to intoxicate and choke whoever gets within 10 feet of her!’

You figure she would actually want to disable anyone who gets close to her during the daytime. If somepony gets too close for comfort, then they’ll pass out. You’ve hugged and came in contact with Celestia during the day and you have never had any problems with her perfume. Maybe she’s using too much. Or a different kind.

You slowly extend your arms to either side of your body. You are within range now. Only a matter of seconds before…

You quickly wrap your arms around Celestia and squeeze. Your Princess audibly gasps and nearly jumps out of her seat upon sensing your unexpected hug. You don’t move at all as you struggle to keep yourself from breaking out into laughter.

You feel Celestia settle down before touching your arms with a hoof.

“I’m going to have to kill you for that,” she says, seemingly out of breath. “That really startled me.”

You continue to fight the urge to laugh. She is so cute when she wants to kill you. “What?” you ask in an attempt to play dumb. “I merely gave you a hug. Is it a crime to love you?”

“When you scare me like that? Yes. Yes it is.” Your grip gets a little tighter as you kiss the side of her neck. You feel Celestia’s heart racing. You really did scare her. Heh heh.

“Aw, I was just trying to give my Goddess some love. Nothing wrong with that.” You release your grip and take a seat in Cadence’s empty chair.

“I have been alive for thousands of years. I have seen many things. Some great, some terrible. I dare say there are not many sights that I haven’t seen. Because of this, I am not easily scared. So, every once in a blue moon when I am, I hate it.” She turns back to her newspaper.

Well shit. You were just trying to give her a hug.

“I was just trying to give you a hug. It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.”

She gives you a disapproving look. “Then why did you take off your shoes?” Damn.

“Alright you got me. I was trying to scare you. And I have no regrets. Your reaction was pretty funny.” She rolls her eyes.

You continue. “And what is with your perfume? Are you trying to suffocate me?”

“If you scare me again I will. What’s wrong with my perfume? I’ve been using the same kind for almost 80 years now. I thought you liked it.” She pouts.

‘Oh my sweet Jesus she is so cute when she pouts,’ you think. It’s not very easy to make your Goddess pout. She generally gets her way, being Princess and all. Even when she’s with you, when she asks for something, she’ll more often than not get it. But on the rare occasions which you don’t give her something or she doesn’t get her way with you, she pouts. And when she does, you have a heart attack, die, wake up a minute later, and give her whatever she wants. It’s a terrible cycle.

“Please don’t make that face, honey. You’re going to kill me.” You put a hand over your heart.

Celestia’s face doesn’t change. She knows that she has power over you right now, and she plans on using it. “What face?” she continues to pout, lowering her head slightly.

Oh Lord Jesus.

“Please stop. I will give you anything if you stop,” you beg.

“I just want to know what’s wrong with my perfume.” She looks down. “I thought you liked it.”

“I do! I like it! Just stop making that face!” she looks back up at you smiling. “Thank you. I didn’t say I didn’t like your perfume, I just think you put on a little too much this morning is all.”

“Oh, that's right,” she says as if being explained something blatantly obvious. “No. I believe you’re smelling my new perfume. While you were gone, one of the servants recommended a new kind. To put it briefly, I decided to put some on just to try it. So you don’t like it?”

You roll your eyes. “Absolutely not. You almost killed me.”

“Hmm,” she ponders. “Maybe I should wear this more often then?” she smiles.

You continue to talk to Celestia for another half an hour or so. You jump topics like it’s your job. Nothing memorable is said. Just idle chit chat between lovers in the early hours of the day.

Celestia rises. “I’m sorry, honey, I have to go. I have a meeting in a few minutes.” You feel sad. You don’t want Celestia to leave. You want to sit and talk all day. Why does she have to work so much?

You rise from your seat as well. “Okay. I may as well walk around Canterlot for a while. I haven’t done that since when I first got here.” Canterlot is a very big city. Due to this unfortunate fact, you have not seen all of it yet. You rarely even leave the Castle. You only do when you go to work, drink, or out to dinner, which is pretty rare.

You pull Celestia in for a kiss, wrapping your arms around her neck. You’ve always wanted this. You’ve always wanted someone to kiss. Someone to hold. Someone to say ‘I love you’ to and have them say it back. Someone who you know will never leave you, even if the world is falling apart around them. Someone who genuinely cares for you. Someone that you love more than anything, ever.

You couldn’t be happier right now. Mere months ago you were alone. You slept alone. You did everything alone. But now, you have someone with you, and it means more to you than you ever imagined it would.

You break the kiss and Celestia nuzzles your cheek with hers. You hear her take a deep breath. “I love you,” you say. “More than anything else that has ever existed, I love you.”

She stops nuzzling you to plant a loving kiss upon your lips. “And I love you. I would never even dream of being with anyone else. I love you.” She smiles. You feel yourself smile as well.

Your arms are still around her as you pull her in for a hug. You don’t want to be anywhere else than right here, in the Dining Room, holding your Princess. If you had the option to go to the Caribbean on the condition you let go of Celestia, you would turn it down without a second thought. You couldn’t be happier.

“I need to go, honey,” you hear Celestia whisper. You know she has to leave. But you really don’t want her to.

“Okay,” you sigh as you let go. “I’ll see you tonight. Hopefully it won’t be as long a day as yesterday.”

“Okay. Have a good day, sweetie.”

“You too.” You turn, walk out of the Dining Room, walk out of the Castle, and begin your exploration of Equestria’s capital.

==========

You take a few minutes to simply roam around the grand Castle that you call home. You thought about talking to the guards, but you shouldn’t. They are supposed to remain absolutely stoic, unless attacked of course. But considering you’re dating their Princess, they’d most likely forgo their vow of silence in order to talk to you. You couldn’t do that. They’ve been trained for years not to talk, so you shouldn’t screw that up.

Damn.

That means you have nopony to talk to. You could go to the barracks, but only fifteen ponies would be there at this time, and they’re probably all asleep.

Damn.

Luna went to bed. Shining is definitely working. He’s always working. Cadence is doing whatever it is she does; probably at that meeting Celestia is at. And Blueblood can go to hell.

Damn.

You have absolutely nopony to talk to. Which you quickly realize, sucks.

‘May as well go out somewhere,’ you think. ‘Got some time to kill.’

You make your way out of the Castle, down the steps, out the heavily guarded gate without a problem, and begin walking down the block.

As you walk, you think of things. And by things, you mean thing. And by thing, you mean Celestia, obviously. You’re always thinking about her. She just makes you so happy. You’re high and you never want to come down from it.

Eventually though, your thoughts flicker to work. You still have paperwork to do. A lot of paperwork, at that. It’s not going to be a fun day. Oh well.

After a few minutes of walking you finally reach a market. Canterlot is a very large city, so there are many markets. You just so happened to stumble upon the one that is closest to the Castle. It’s not very big, but it’s always crowded with ponies either buying things or trying desperately to just get through the street.

Your attention shifts to the ponies on the street for the first time on your morning walk. About 99% of the ponies that you see are already looking at you. You know why. It’s because you’re around two feet taller than they are and you’re courting their beloved ruler. You’re pretty sure that these ponies know that you are a Lieutenant in the military, so you hope they don’t think you’re just some guy who sits around the Castle all day. But you hardly care about what they think.

You walk around the market. It’s not like you have anything better to do.

You peruse the various produce which is displayed in the stalls on the crowded city street. Each stand seems to specialize in one thing. You see one stand just selling cherries... cherries. Nothing else.

‘How does that mare even make any money?’ you ask yourself. ‘Is there such a high demand for cherries that she can make an income? Shit’s crazy.’

You notice that not a single stand sells a large variety of produce or other goods. A couple stands sell two different items, but not more than that. You even notice a stand that sells pots and pans. This market has everything anypony could ever want.

“Excuse me, sir,” you hear an upper-class, obnoxious sounding, nasally voice come from behind you.

You turn around and see a stallion standing directly behind you. You’ve lived in Canterlot long enough to be able to discern a snooty upper-class stallion, and anypony else. This individual clearly falls into the former category.

You raise an inquisitive eyebrow. In your experience, the nobles of Canterlot love to talk, and hate it when other people talk. Thus, you’ve learned to stay as quiet as possible to avoid the inevitable noble temper tantrum.

“Might I have a word?” he asks in a very snooty voice. Just judging by the sound of his voice, you can tell he is about to complain about something.

Unfortunately though, you have never met this stallion. So you don’t know what he wants to complain about.

“Yeah, sure,” you respond shrugging. “What’s up?” You love talking as casually as possible with the elite of the city. The looks on their faces whenever you don’t use big words is priceless.

It’s his turn to raise an eyebrow at you. Well, he would if he had eyebrows. Ponies don’t.

“Yes, right,” he begins, sounding slightly unsure. “I would like to discuss Princess Celestia, if I may.”

“Sure. Why not?” It’s not like you have anything else to do for quite a few more hours.

“First, I would like to inquire as to why the sun was not raised on time. I waited a full five minutes before the sun rose.
You see, I own a fairly large business; ‘Pier One Exports’ is its’ name. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. I begin everyday promptly at sunrise.

I want to know why the sun was raised five minutes late! I lost a full five minutes of business! Time is money, you know.”

You really want to punch this guy in his obnoxious, complaining face. Yes, the sun was a little late this morning, but who cares? It was only five minutes. Celestia will raise the sun whenever she pleases. You hate how most nobles need everything to go exactly their way for them not to complain.

“Secondly, I would like you to convey a message to the Princess.” You wait for him to continue. “I wish for the new taxes on exports to be abolished; or at the very least, lessened. As my business name implies, I export all my products. With this new tax, I am quickly losing money.”

You decide to stop him there. You’re tired of listening.

“Wait,” you say, holding up a hand to stop him. He scowls at you for interrupting. “Let’s take one problem at a time.

“The reason as to why the sun was risen slightly later than normal is none of your concern. It’s not a big deal. It’s only five minutes anyway.”

“Not a big deal?!” the stallion shouts, causing many of the ponies shopping around you to stop and observe the scene as it unfolds. “How dare you! I had to start late! Late! I have never opened late in my entire life.”

“About your other problem,” you continue, “get over it.”

The stallion is shocked upon hearing your words. He visibly recoils and does a double-take to make sure he heard you correctly.

You continue. “It’s a tax. Everypony has to pay. It’s not just you. Besides, I can’t help you solve any of these problems. Go talk to Celestia if it’s really such a big deal.”

Most ponies see you on the street and look at you as a personal ambassador between themselves and the Princess. Which you’re not. If this guy wants to complain to Celestia, go complain to Celestia.

You shake your head. “Sorry buddy,” you say. “If you want to talk to the Princess, make an appointment and go see her yourself.”

“But I simply cannot find the time in my schedule to meet with her! So if you would please pass along a message I-”

“No,” you interrupt. The stallion scowls at you for interrupting him. “If you can’t find the time, it mustn’t be that big of a deal in the first place.”

“I assure you, it is a very big problem. It is imperative I discuss my problem with you so you may inform Celestia.”

“Yeah. That’s just not going to happen.” You glance at your watch. You still have two more hours until you have to be at work.

‘May as well finish my paperwork so I can workout today,’ you think.

“Sorry, bud, I gotta get going. I wish you the best of luck with your problem, though.” You begin to walk away. “Whatever it is.”

“Don’t walk away from me!” you hear the stallion shout angrily at you.

Without turning around, you raise your hand and extend your middle finger in the general direction of his voice.

Luckily, ponies don’t understand this rude gesture which you have just publically displayed. Flipping ponies off is the only thing you can do to keep from cursing them out in the middle of the street.

You walk a few blocks to the barracks. You walk through the lobby and through the weight room to your office. Nopony appears to be awake yet, or at least they’re not working out.

Figures.

You stroll into your office, sit down, open up the next file:

‘Private Shamrock,’ you read. ‘Let’s make this a good report.’

==========

Written by: ScatMan2001

Edited by: DoctorBrony

That's right. I have an editor now.

Special thanks to DoctorBrony from keeping me from looking like an illiterate moron