Deadpool Vs. Equestria

Issue #34

Previously on Deadpool Vs. Equestria...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meOCdyS7ORE

In a sense.

{There is no innocence.}

Shut up.
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And on the 34th issue, an Author from a galaxy further away than this galaxy, which was rather far, far away from our far, far away galaxy far, far away, felt a sudden surge of successful thinking, that he decided to say a few things about life.

In moments where you sit on some chair you've sat on for a few months, and then it breaks. It's rather humiliating. But at least there was nobody around to see it. But yet, you still feel as though something has gone wrong with your life at that point, as the insects that occasionally enter your home look on you with pity, and won't bother biting you, or enslaving your cats and/or dogs/any animal you may have as a pet that has such problems.

And when you look into the stars, you will be able to imagine a disappointed man staring at an appointed man. They are rather opposite, and they intend to kill each other, and they know the one who will win is the guy who intervenes and eats their left feet. Therefore making the appointed man the winner, as the appointed man has a stronger right foot, and the disappointed man had a stronger left foot. However, the intervener will then proceed to eat the appointed man entirely, making the disappointed man the winner. However, this will make him an appointed man, meaning the intervener will think the first appointed man came back to life, and the originally disappointed man will be eaten, which is why the intervener will be the winner of the entire thing.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

{No, it doesn't. Now get back to the freaking story.}

Okay.

Deadpool arrived at that town he saw last issue. He stopped a moment to catch his breath, seeing how he was running all the way (And there was no indication I gave that he stopped running, harr dee harr harr). After that, he decided to enter the town.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsxYjv_vVSA

The town somehow seemed more lonely than outside, the small buildings crumbled (some still slowly crumbling) and unstable, looking familiar. There was dust all over the place, making the place itself, along with Deadpool, feel extremely dry. He could hear a few snakes slithering and rattling on the ground. When he looked at them, they looked rather large, like anacondas, but grey, like the ground, but a little bit of a lighter shade, so it was somewhat noticeable. It looked like it was made of stone, but Deadpool didn't feel like checking. Instead, he let it move away, as it seemingly ignored him.

He scratched his head. This place was beginning to look like he's been here on some sort of holiday before, and when he returned, it was completely different. There was some sort of sadness he felt from this, which just led to uncertainty. Where exactly was he?

He turned around, and saw a large, dead tree. There were no leaves (Well, it -is- dead), and it looked seriously deteriorated, as though something had eaten into most of it, and then gave up, flying off to whatever den it came from. The snag had a rather noticeable door on the front of it.

Deadpool wondered why someone would build a treehouse that big. He decided to walk over to it. There was some sort of nameplate on the door. He couldn't see what it read, though, for it was covered with dust. He was very curious, so he wiped the dust off with his hand, and read what he saw.

"Stephenie Meyer..."

{...Blink?}

"Sure." Deadpool blinked, and read again.

"Twilight... Sparkle. Hah. Twilight. I wonder if vampires live there."

{...}

"What?"

{...}

He looked at the name again, then at the tree. It dawned upon him that it was Twilight Sparkle's library treehouse.

Which means...

This town is Ponyville...only destroyed. Light -did- mention he was being sent to another version of this place.

But what happened to everypony?

"Hmm." He hmm'd, before knocking on the door, just in case someone happened to be in.

The door fell inside the tree-house's entrance. He couldn't see anything inside, it was pitch black. That usually meant trouble. So he didn't go in, and just walked off.

Only to find a portal, green in colour, was opening with a *fffsssshhhh* sound. He looked at it for a moment, starting to get his hopes up, as if it was a portal he could run through in order to get back.

However, it became obvious that this wasn't so, when something came out of it. It was a sort of humanoid person, wearing a green jacket and yellow trousers, with red, spiky hair. It reminded him of that movie he saw in which a not safe for work imaginary friend visited someone many years after they grew up, and proceeding to annoy, confuse, frighten and appear somewhat controversial when he had his own imaginary friends and stuff. The movie wasn't very good.

Deadpool started to wonder what Drop Dead Fred was doing here. He covered his eyes for a moment.

When he opened them, he saw Fred go through another portal. Which is a good thing too. It's highly unlikely that the universes can handle Deadpool and Drop Dead Fred in the same area for long.

Deadpool decided to walk to Sugarcube Corner. Where he once saw a large edible-looking building, he just saw a broken door frame, with a lot of wood behind it. No sign of anything edible. If it melted into some sort of goo, it probably disappeared by now.

*fffsssshhhh*

He looked behind him, and saw a red portal opening. He heard faint circus music coming from it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Aoa78gO25s

It could only be clowns. Killer Klowns from Outer Space, or was It on It's way to go somewhere??

Actually, what popped out of it was a trio of what looked like the sort of clowns you'd see in some sort of superhero/villain/wrestler gig. There was one skinny clown wearing a black tracksuit with a red line trim on the sides, fancy, tan shoes, and a black mask with carved red eyes and smile was placed over a rather thin head. There was a red and black polka dot bow tie around his neck, and on his chest was an emblem of a skull with red dots inside the eye sockets wearing a green and purple striped party hat. No amount of skin was shown on this guy, so it looked a bit like he found it hard to breathe. At least Deadpool's suit wasn't really tight.

The clown next to 'Skinny' was more akin to one of the strongmen you see in a circus, only decorated to look like a clown. He was wearing blue pants with a similar trim pattern to the clown next to him. He had an open duster jacket, and a bare chest underneath. Like the Skinny guy, he had a mask. It was a blue one, with a pink deadpan face styled onto it. There wasn't an emblem that Deadpool could see, but he assumed it was on the back of the guy's jacket.

And the other guy, next to the Big Guy, was what seemed to be a man wearing a tuxedo, with black boots, dress pants, and blazer, trimmed white, with an equally white tie on a black dress shirt under the blazer, wearing a top hat, and not wearing a full mask. Just a mask that went over the upper half of his face, with holes on the eyes of the mask so he could see through. The mouth was curved in a tight smirk, with a rather pointy moustache you usually see on the evil clone types who happen to have those moustaches. He was also holding a metal cane that he had with him for style. He looked like the sort who would introduce people to the Big Top, who was always well dressed, if he was Zorro, and potentially the ringleader of a murderously insane clown posse.

As soon as Deadpool had finished staring at them, they started dancing to their circus song, the Skinny clown doing some sort of goofy dance, the Strongman just nodding his head in rhythm, and the Ringleader doing the sort of dances the guy with the canes do in Broadway Musicals. Deadpool shrugged, and danced with them a little bit, in a blend of all the dances they were doing.

He ducked just in time as the Skinny Clown attempted to jump on him, and it ended up flying back through the portal, with Deadpool pretending nothing happened, as if the Clown Posse still had a chance at getting the jump on him. The Ringleader tried stabbing him with a blade hidden in his cane, but Deadpool grabbed it, starting to do a full broadway cane dance, during which he stabbed the Ringleader in the shin with it, and kicked him through the portal. He continued to do that dance, until he finished with a bit of a flourish of the cane, before posing with the cane's blade aimed at the Strongman's face.

The Strongman decidedly ran back through the portal, not wanting to mess with he who defended the ruins of this place.

Deadpool grinned to himself, then wondered...

What just happened?

{I dunno, but I'm naming this spot Hostile Environment Number 154.}

[Why 154?]

{There's probably loads of places more dangerous than this dump.}

Deadpool, upon hearing his voices, went to the nearest somewhat large rock, and sat on it, bored and saddened. It seemed that he was now stuck in an alternate universe where something happened to the town which, in a different plane of existence, had cared for him, pretty much rehabilitating him emotionally, and it was looking like he was doomed to protect it from dimensional invaders such as the Clown Posse. Which reminded him, he didn't have his weapons with him. He just had that weaponized cane.

What was he gonna do now?

He looked up, and saw a shape in the distance. He squinted a little bit. As it got closer, he could see that it was a pony. He couldn't tell what gender though, so far it was a silhouette far in the distance. It seemed to notice him, as it began running over to him desperately. Deadpool stood up and watched.

[Someone who knows what's going on? Awesome!]

Then, something suddenly appeared in a small, blue flash. Some strange, bi-pedal, disturbing shape appeared front of the pony, apparently stabbed it with its hands, and it exploded in a blue flash of light, the same way Deadpool was turned into a ghost.

{Oooohhhhhh... crap...}

The creature teleported away. Or, so it seemed. It appeared (with two others, identical to it) at a close distance in front of Deadpool, and he could see clearly what they were.

From what it seemed, they seemed to be humans, albeit frail and morbidly skinny (If that's a term), with their rib-cages poking at the skin. They were hunched over, and the gear they were wearing was rather... futuristic. They were wearing black pants, with bare feet, with some sort of blue chest guard covering the upper torso, going all the way to the mouth, as a sort of breathing apparatus. The eyes were impossible to see, as it wore a rather pointy black hood. Deadpool also noticed they were wearing hand gear that made their fingers look like needles.

{They look like something out of a bad comic book. Or fan-fiction.}

[This -is- fan-fiction.]

{Why are we using this excuse?}

And why do I get the feeling I wanna avoid the needles?

{Too late.}

The creatures began running at Deadpool. Deadpool decided to run away from the group, as fast as he could. Every time he looked back, he saw them running desperately at him, and they were gaining. And as they jumped to move in for the kill...

*Blam* *Blam* *Blam*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqBus04-zWI

The three of them were shot by something, and fell to the ground. It really didn't seem to affect them that much, but they ran off nonetheless. Deadpool looked at them go.

"...Yeah, you better run... weird... Scarecrow Rip-offs!" He yelled.

Then he walked off. Until a thought occurred to him. Something had shot them. He looked around, until he saw a familiar phrase uttered, in which I write 'A familiar figure' and all that. It's getting rather old, but that's all the words I have for it.

{Shut up.}

The familiar figure was none other than Live Light, still wearing what he was wearing last issue, holding a handgun (Noticeably pink... but shiny) in one hand.

They both stared at each other for a moment.

"...Hey." Deadpool greeted.

"Hi." Light greeted.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Would you like some cake?" Light asked after some silence.

"...Sure." Weirdo.
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To be continued in the next issue!

{It gets better from here, right? ...Right?}

Uhhh... sure.

[...wah.]

Author's Notes:

I don't think I did well at all.

I basically had Deadpool walk around a post-apocalyptic place... and had him fight clown people... and had him run away from what I had in mind with the individuals who lock people out of their dimensions... probably for some amount of energy they can gain from it.

I must've done it wrong.

But this has happened, and I might need a few days break from writing to decide what happens next.

Be sure to expect an explanation as to who this Live Light is and what he likes doing.

I'm not making him OP, I don't like him.