Deadpool Vs. Equestria

Issue #33

Previously on Deadpool Vs. Equestria...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I917Tv20Hd8

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{We need our music. In situations like these, we need music.}

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI_fgwbmJg0

[U-um... not THAT music.]

Oh. Okay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cke28SmutY

{That's better. We associate this with his theme music... sometimes.}

On with the show.

Deadpool, now in a ghostly form, looked at two other ghosts, the former unicorn (There's no horn protruding from his head) named Wisefree, and the creepy guy who looks like... that guy.

{You mean you.}

I can see no logical contribution from you telling me that that guy there is a physical representation of me. So shut up.

Now, Weasel and Fluttershy looked at the three ethereal forms. The sounds of hooves trotting from outside were growing closer. Deadpool, upon hearing this, declared,

"Ah, HA! HAAAHAHAHAAHA!" Well, that was kind of a laugh, not a declaration... "Sorry, I just imagined you with that Yuki Yuki Yuki video as your theme song. What I meant to say was, 'Do you hear that? That is the sound of your hands reddening as they get caught.' It was the best I could come up with besides 'Ah hah.'"

"On the contrary," Wisefree replied, "Your hands are redder than mine, in the literal sense." Deadpool deadpanned as he stared at him. "...Just thought I'd point it out."

Eventually, the rest of the Elements had arrived to Weasel's house, along with some of Fluttershy's critters, who, unbeknownst to the ponies and the humans, were members of the Woodland 6. For some reason, Lyra had accompanied them. Probably to say a final goodbye to the humans. Wisefree looked as though he was going to wave to Applejack, but, seeing how the 'Mane 6' couldn't see them, he decided it was futile. Deadpool then remembered that part too, and facepalmed.

They all walked in, and Twilight said, "Hello, everypony!" She looked around. "...Did Deadpool leave without us?"

Then they looked to Pinkie who was making a large gasping sound. She ran over to Deadpool, and said, "HiWadedidyoumeetsomepeoplefromyourworldtheylooklikehumansandsodoesthatguywholooksliketheAuthorandthatguywho *GAAAASP* It's that... Wisefree fellah! How are you?"

As everypony looked to Pinkie confusedly, and were about to dismiss it until Fluttershy said something.

"Y-y-you've met him b-b-before?" She stammered.

"...Fluttershy, what's going on?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, you seem to be... acknowledging the presence of Pinkie's imaginary friend..." Rarity said.

"W-what? Why can't they see them?" Weasel asked.

"I think I know why..." intervened a certain mint unicorn who most certainly went by the name of Lyra Heartstrings.

"C-can you see them?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, but I have been studying a little bit." Lyra answered. "Can I wager a guess that Deadpool is right there, in his human form?"

"That's right." Weasel said. "There's two other guys though, and they're kind of creeping me out. Especially that guy with the hat. He's... just creepy."

The man with the hat raised an eyebrow, then shrugged his shoulders.

"Wasn't there that incident I heard about where Pinkie disappeared along with Deadpool, and they told us they ended up on a certain place called Planet Earth?" Lyra asked, excitedly.

"...Y-yes." Fluttershy answered.

"Well, that leads me to a quick conclusion..." Lyra began, "As I've been studying a bit on dimensional travel, this means that there must be some sort of problem where Deadpool... and those... other two... don't have an originating dimension, and are now stuck in a state where they can only watch what happens in their dimension, and others... correct?"

"...She's good at this." The man admitted.

"You have no idea," Deadpool said. "Neither do I, but I hear rumours." Nevertheless, their voices fell upon deaf ears... except for the ears of Pinkie Pie, Weasel and Fluttershy, but still.

"...The creepy guy says she's right." Weasel said.

"YES!" Lyra cheered, jumping for joy for a little moment.

"I-it's not a good thing..." Fluttershy said, "The... one with the strange hair said something about this being his home dimension... and not Deadpool's."

"Can you guys trust us?" Weasel asked.

Twilight and the others looked skeptical.

"Okay," Twilight decided. "Me and my friends have been through a lot together. And we've learned to trust each other's instincts. Besides, I don't know Fluttershy for being the crazy one."

"What about th' Gala?" Applejack asked.

"Everypony has their angry moments, Applejack," Rarity responded, "Surely we should all know this too."

Fluttershy deadpanned, as they were going on about other things instead of what was apparently important.

"R-right..." Twilight said, after noticing Fluttershy's expression. "What can we do?"

"Nothing." Wisefree answered.

"A few things you can't hear me say." The man answered.

"HELP ME! HELP EVERYONE! AAAAAUUUUUUUH!" Deadpool screamed, comically melting. Before standing up again.

Pinkie looked at Deadpool as if he wasn't really being useful.

"...Could you try and read up on something that'll help?" Deadpool asked.

Pinkie nodded, and looked to Twilight to pass on what he said. Twilight then nodded.

"Lyra, stay here so you can help us with your extra-dimensingal knowledge." He said to Lyra.

When the message was passed on to her, Lyra said, "Dimensional, not Dimensingal."

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME!" Deadpool yelled, causing Fluttershy to cover her ears for a moment.

"He said, 'thanks for pointing out the mistake.'" Pinkie 'translated.'

"Everyone else who can't hear us... along with Pinkie... go do what Twilight says, or something." Deadpool shrugged.

After that message was passed on, everypony addressed nodded, before galloping off with Twilight to find something. Something. Something something something Daaaark siiiiide. Something something something complete-uh.

{Now's not the time to prolong the story.}

I can do what I want because you have made me a gag by comparing a character to myself. I hope you're happy. I never wanted this. Nothing feels right anymore. I'm a freaking side-character/villain/creepy person in your eyes, but in mine, I see a person trying to work hard for anyone who cares. And what do you do?

YOU EAT MY WORDS AND THROW THEM BACK AT ME. Oh, sorry, accidentally caps locked. *Ahem* F-

"So Wisefree," Deadpool began, "Why're you being evil?"

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"I wouldn't say I'm being evil," he defended himself gently, "I'm just doing what I have to do to survive."

"Huh?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNxkhZadMlY

"You see... I don't really know Doctor Whooves. I only told you that story because you and Pinkie seemed to be ordinary residents of this place, despite the temporal energy within you. I just assumed Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie rubbed off on you. But then, I saw you leaving through the portal. I had a look at your world, and in doing so, I learned that that is where you come from.

"What happened to me was mostly chance. Of the purpose I have in my dimension, I was telling the truth. I was indeed in a relationship with Applejack back there. I was having a walk by myself, when all of a sudden, these strange bi-pedal creatures in strange gear appeared. I went over to them to ask what they were and what their purpose was, then, they attacked me with something, and I exploded into blue energy, a similar way you did.

"I found myself changed into a similar shape as them, except I had garments that resembled my original appearance in colour. That, and I had my signature white scarf. I still had my horn however. I'll explain why, at the moment, it isn't here later. Anyway, I found I could see into different dimensions of Ponyville, and I found I could change my form into the form I had as a pony, for a period of time, which is how I appeared as a pony when we first met.

"I discovered that I was in a state of temporal collapse. I was doomed to spend my days in no specific dimension, no longer permitted to enter my own, and the only ones able to see me are those imbued with temporal energies absorbed from travelling to other planes of existence. It dawned upon me, that I could try to take a lesser known pony in a different dimension with similar equipment to the ones who attacked me." Wisefree motioned to the man with the hat, "Live Light here, procured the equipment, and allowed me to try."

{He even called you by name.}

My name's not Live Light. It's Author.

[...What?]

Well, you didn't expect me to be called Anon, did you?

{...Nevermind, we'll resolve this later.}

Wisefree continued his backstory.

"It failed. As much as I tried, the pony wouldn't disappear. Light wasn't too sure of why it wouldn't work... but then he suggested I should try it on the 'temporally sensitive.' I had no idea what he meant by that, but after a while, I discovered you. And so, it brings us to this point."

"So... what you're trying to say is... you're going to take my place here?" Deadpool asked.

"I'm not trying to say that, Deadpool... I -am- saying it. I'm terribly sorry that by doing this, you will have nowhere to go, and it will take you a very, very long time to find your home, but I must find a way to return to my home, and that starts with becoming material as soon as possible... before I end up like the ones who brought me to this point."

"And how are you going to do that?" Light asked.

"..."

"...?"

"...I thought you knew, and were about to tell me." Wisefree said.

"...Nope."

"Why would you help me then?"

"I'm not sure. You just seemed like you needed the help."

"Do you know at least one way I can get in?"

"Well, Deadpool's temporal energies are kind of unstable, since he has done it so many times, so, he's about to disappear now. I'm assuming you'll be able to take his place then."

"...What?" Deadpool asked in disbelief. "Disappear? Whaddya mean disappear?"

"Well, you're not gonna die," Light explained, "You're just going to go to a point here in a different dimension because your temporal energies have kind of been eaten a lot by portals. They consume the energies sometimes."

"Well, how am I gonna get back!?" Deadpool yelled, his voice getting a higher pitch.

Light just shrugged, mumbling, 'I dunno.'

"But that means it's possible?" Deadpool asked.

"A little, I'm sure. As far as I've heard."

"How do you know so much?" Deadpool asked.

"Wel-" Light said, before Deadpool's apparition exploded again, causing a scream by the ponies listening, and Lyra, who was noting down what Weasel was muttering of Wisefree's story to her, also screamed, as well as accidentally creating a line over the paper she was writing on.

"...Oh." Wisefree oh'd. "I wasn't expecting that so soon... I hope I can do something to make it up to everypony." He said, as his form grew brighter, and closer to becoming an inhabitant of this Equestria.

"You can try," Light said, "But you'll probably fail."

Wisefree sighed, before exploding himself, and morphing into his normal form... only not transparent.

Light watched as the ponies all looked at him, wide-eyed, wondering what was going to happen next.

...I wonder what's happening on Deadpool's end. He thought.
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Deadpool was flying through some sort of wormhole.

"Hyperspace always looks so freaky," he yelled to himself, "Except now it's even freakier!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imXBIlmXcAk

Deadpool landed on some rocky ground. He got up, and rubbed his head. He then took a look at his surroundings.

It was a somewhat dark place, with stone making up for most of the ground, and tall mountains of rock stabbed at the sky like spears and knives. The entire place looked desolate, one might even say abandoned, despite the fact it seemed as though nobody lived here in the first place. The only significant things next to Deadpool was a wooden, broken stump of what might have once been a tree, and what looked like a town in the distance.

"Well... might as well start there..." Deadpool said to himself, running quickly over to the town, to see if there was any civilization in this place.
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To be continued in the next issue!

{This fic just got a whole lot more depressing.}

I wholeheartedly agree, this work of fiction has gotten terribly sad. We can only hope that it will take the proverbial happy pills, and become happy again in no time. But in time, we will have fight scenes with weird things that want temporal energy, and we'll eat waffles. WAFFLES!

[I'm just gonna sit here and eat this 'final' waffle. *Chomp*]

...

[What?]

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Author's Notes:

Wah.

I wonder if Wise2Fox is still happy with this.