After a while of sitting in the middle of nowhere because I was the main character and the plot was just going to have to come to me, I decided that I should probably go insane.

"There you are. I've been looking for you." A voice said.

"Ooh a mysterious disembodied voice; it's been a while since this story ripped off through the eyes of another pony." I said. I was surprised at how quickly I learnt to communicate telepathically but then I remembered this was probably due to plot convenience rather than any talent of my own.

"Hello to you too."

"If you're going to tell me some exposition or send me out on a quest please do so concisely without hesitation, repetition or deviation."

"How about I show you?"

"If you do it quickly."

Suddenly I was engulfed in what looked a lot like a Photoshop lens flare.  I had only time to say the word "tacky" before I disappeared into a sea of endless white.

***

"Where the Everfree Forest am I?" I said before realising what a horrific thing to say that was. "Why would I say something like that?"

"It was foretold." The Unknown Voice Replied.

"What? Where? Why? By Whom?" I said.

"Everything is foretold here on the sacred white plane, it is unknown who wrote these prophecies or why they did it. One thing is certain though, everything written here becomes true."

I stared into the endless white distance; this was too heavy a plot device for Chapter 2. As I stared I became aware of innumerable lines of text covering the whiteness.

"How did I not see any of this before?" I was even more confused; I eventually decided to read the words rather than just stare at them.

"Bloody Hell! It says here that I say "Bloody Hell!"" I said.

"Indeed, I believe that is my signal to point out that you saying "Bloody Hell! It says here that I say “Bloody Hell!"" is my signal to say "Indeed, I believe that is my signal to point out that-""

"It says here that I interrupt you by saying "It says here that I interrupt you by-"" I stopped reading the seemingly omniscient words to preserve my sanity.

"It may be a bit late for that." The voice said. It had seemingly not stopped reading.

"What is this?" I said, massaging my head with my hoof.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out soon. I read ahead."

Suddenly I realised what it was, out of plot convenience rather than anything else.

"So you've brought me to the .txt file for the fanfiction which we are currently in right now. Why?"

"It says here that I was going to, so I did."

"Oh for Celestia's sake, why would I write this meta garbage?"

The voice sounded as though it was about to ask me how i knew i was the author. But it didn't because i decided against puttign it in the story as it was frankly out fo charicter for im and only an excuse for me to say:

"I knew It was going to be me, characters in these stories are always self-insertion, and besides I just wrote that I knew that was the author making me know that I was the author." I bashed my head against a nearby wall which had appeared due the fact that I had written that I bashed my head on it. “You know what? I’m just going to stop, this is frankly a pathetic attempt at being a clever fanfiction writer on my part and I am thoroughly ashamed of it. This is worse than that time I made that horrible YouTube video.”

"I have to go now my, home planet needs me." The mysterious voice said, after reading that I had just written him out of the story.

***

And then I “woke up in the hospital” because “I had been in a coma” and was unable of thinking of any good endings.