Please stop voting with more than one options. It makes your vote worthless and makes it more difficult to tally your votes. Sorry guys. Thank you for understanding.

Our hero awoke to the sound of something slamming on the front door with the force of a thousand suns.

"Lizard, get the-"

Oh wait. He went upstairs after our hero fapped for about five hours straight, much to the disgust of the narrator.

"Lawl."

Our hero groaned and rose off the couch, before stomping his way over to the front door. He flung it open, revealing a pair of ponies wearing matching white t-shirts and red ties.

"Wut dafuq."

"Hi, would you like to hear the word of our lord and savior Celestia?" one asked.

"OH SHIT IT'S THE IRS!"

"What-"

Before the Celestia Witnesses could even blink, our hero produced his rock hard erection to the two and swung, beating one the door knockers to the ground with a caved in skull.

"DEAR CELESTIA!"

The surviving Celestia Witness turned to run, but our hero was too quick for him. He lunged forward and impaled the door knocker in a manner that would make Vlad the Impaler shed a tear of joy.

As the Celestia Witness breathed his last breath, our hero let the body hit the floor and turned back towards the house.

"Fluffles, got some fresh meat! Lawl."

"Oh boy!" Fluffles said, running past our hero as Spiderman his way back inside.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

No fucks were given that day.

Our hero sat on the couch, leaning back against it as he watched the Chappelle Show.

"I'm Rick James bitch." Rick James said on the TV.

"Lawl. Black people are so funny." our hero said, taking a drink of his Mountain Dew.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Our hero groaned, expecting the IRS sent a tactical tax collection team to take his well earned cash.

Instead, he was greeted with the sight of a certain bootylicious teacher.

"Hello, Mr. Spiderman." Cheerilee greeted with a smile.

"Oh hai der." our hero responded.

"Spiderman, can I- is that the Chappelle Show?"

"Yeee. Lawl." our hero responded.

"Nice. May I join you?"

"Why the fuck not?"

The teacher squeed as she pushed past our hero, our hero catching a glimpse of da booty as she raced past him.

UNF!

UNF!

UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNF!

DAT BOOTY IS PERFECTION!

UNF!

The mare took a seat on our heroes couch/bed, watching the Chappelle Show intently. Our hero jumped up in the air, did a couple flips, and landed beside the teacher. Cheerilee smiled at his antics, and leaned into our heroes side.

"I like where this is going." he commented.

A small giggle escaped the teachers lips, before her face turned solemn. "Spiderman, I must ask you a favor."

"Lawl k."

"You see... my favor was diagnosed with cancer... and the doctors gave him to the end of the week."

"Sucks."

Cheerilee nodded. "I must travel to Manehattan to visit him... but... I don't have a substitute. So, would you mind coming in to teach? Or maybe take them out on a field trip? I don't know. Just do whatever you want with them."

"Lawl k."

The teacher perked up. "So, you'll do it?"

"Sure, why not? Not like I give a fuck or anything." Spiderman stated.

A grin spread across the mares face as she lurched forward, embracing our hero in a tight bear hug.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU~"

After the obligatory booty feel, Cheerilee backed away, smiling gratefully at our hero.

"I'll stop by after class once I finish packing. Good luck, Spidey."

She placed a small kiss on his cheek before rising from the couch. As made her way towards the door, she paused and turned towards our hero. "You know, we should really do more stuff other than you just coming to school."

"Blame the voters lawl."

"W-what?"

"Nothing. Top lel." our hero said.

Cheerilee giggled. "Alright, see yah Spidey."

"Bye lawl."

The bell rang, signalling the end of lunch time for the foals at the Ponyville Schoolhouse. The foals threw away their trash and put away their toys before filing into the schoolhouse under the watchful eyes of several teachers and yard duties.

Cheerilee's students filed into their classroom and took their seats, turning towards their friends and continuing their lunchtime conversations.

Satisfied that the kids were distracted, our hero took this moment to reveal himself.

He climbed out from under Ms. Cheerilee's desk and flung it over, causing all the schoolchildren to jump and turn towards the front of the classroom.

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS."

Everypony in the room, save for a certain diamond tiara sporting bitch, perked up and cheered for our hero. Even the bitches bottom bitch, who was born with a silver spoon shoved deep into her ass, cheered.

"Lawl. Sup?" he asked.

"Hello Mr. Spiderman." the class greeted.

"Do you like violence?!" our hero inquired.

"Yeah yeah yeah!"

"Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids?"

"Uh-huh!"

"What's a nail?" an oblivious moron asked.

"Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?"

"Yeah yeah!"

"Didn't he already do this?" Captain Obvious asked.

"Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is?"

"Huh?"

"My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight, but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate."

"Ummmmmmm..." Diamond Bitch tried to speak up, only to get bitch slapped by a certain drug dealers little sister.

"And Fluttershy said-"

The classroom door flung open, and in walked the butter yellow Pegasus, who pointing an accusing hoof at our hero. "Spiderman, you a basehead!"

"Uh-uhhh!" Spiderman retorted.

"So why's your face red? Man you wasted."

"Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else, cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt. Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off and smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross. I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast."

"C'mere slut!" Spiderman said, pulling Fluttershy over to him.

"Spidey, wait a minute, that's my mare bro!"

"I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!"

"Hi, my name is-"

"What?" one of the kids asked.

"My name is-"

"Who?" another asked.

Our hero produced a turntable and scratched it. "Spiderman!"

"Hi, my name is-"

"What?"

"My name is-"

"Who?"

"STOP THIS PONYSHIT!" somepony shouted, interrupting our hero.

Everypony turned to see Diamond Shit standing on top of her desk, fuming mad.

"ARE YOU ALL RETARDED OR SOMETHING?! JUST LETTING THIS MORON COME IN HERE AND ACT STUPID?! AND YOU GUYS ENJOY IT?! I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS. THE RETARDS WHO RIDE THE SHORT BUS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU."

Everypony in the room glared at her. The diamond tiara wearing bitch became uneasy under their stares.

Under his mask, our heroes eye twitched. No one fucked with his random musical numbers.

"You know you fucked up, right?" our hero asked, walking towards the fillies desk.

"Well class... looks like we won't be singing and going to a destruction derby like I planned. No, we're going to do something much more fun. We're going to put this bitch in her place. Lawl." our hero said.

"No... please..."

"WHO HERE HATES THIS BITCH THE MOST?!" Spiderman asked, producing a mace

A silver hoof raised in the air. Diamond Tiara's mouth dropped.

"S-silver Spoon?" she stuttered.

"WE HAVE A WINNER!" Spiderman declared, handing the mace to the silver filly.

"W-why?!" Diamond Tiara demanded.

"PRISON RULES BITCH!" Silver Spoon exclaimed, swinging the mace at filly.

"YOU TRAITOROUS BITCH!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed before Silver Spoon gutted her, knocking her to the ground in a bloody mess. The other foals, tired of her shit and thirst for revenge, quickly set upon the bitch, kicking and pummeling her mercilessly. Silver Spoon put down her mace and acquired Diamond Bitches tiara and put it on her head, before skipping back to her seat with a smile on her face.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Fluffles asked, still there with Fluttershy from the musical number.

"Nah... bitch had it coming. Lawl."

"Now, remember kids, if the cops ask what happened to Diamond Tiara, blame the zebra." Spiderman reminded the kids, right before the bell ringed.

"Class is dismissed! If you tell anyone what happened today, I'll kill you! Lawl."

As the class filed out, talking excitedly amongst each other, a new pony entered the room.

"Well, I'm shocked to see everything is... well... sort of in one piece." Cheerilee said, glancing at her tipped over desk with a curious eye.

"Sorry lawl." our hero said.

"Eh, don't worry about it. It happens at least three times a month." the teacher responded.

"Lawl k."

Cheerilee smiled, walking up to our hero and wrapping her hooves around his waist. "Thanks for helping out, it means a lot to me."

"Eh, it's not like a give a fuck or anything." our hero said with a shrug.

"Riiiiiiiiight." she said, winking at our hero.

SHE KNOWS. NOW I GOTTA KILL A-

"Um, Spiderman, I would like to ask you something."

"Lawl k."

"Well... I was wondering if you would like to come along to Manehattan with me. I know it's sudden, so I wouldn't mind much if you said no. But it'd be nice to have your company... especially at night.

DING! DING! DING! DING! WE GOTTA A WINNER!

"Hmm..."

WHAT WILL IT BE THIS TIME?!

()Go to Manehattan with the teacher with da booty (CHEERILEE BONUS CHAPTER UNLOCKED, ONE AND ONLY OPPORTUNITY TO GO, REALLY FUCKING THINK ABOUT THIS)

()Help Discord become a friend of justice (DISCORD TIER TWO UNLOCKED)

()Fight in a gladiator tournament with Ms. Cheerilee

()Take Luna to a Dethklok concert, you've heard she's secretly a metalhead

()...go on an awkward date with Rainbow Dash

()There’s a new mall. Let’s go exploring with Rarity and your pet raptor

()Go out clubbing with the talking velociraptor gentleman and Lyra (UNLOCKED AGAIN IN ONE CHAPTER)

()Go to the new bar in town with Twilight and get drunk

()Bake with Pinkie Pie. Acquire money and pot brownies

()Smoke weed with Applejack and help her take down some rival dealers

()Play video games with Spike

()Teach Fluffles the meaning of friendship

()Teach Fluttershy how to french kiss THEN GET FRIENDZONED BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T DO THIS FIRST

()Volunteer at a cripple pony school with Fluttershy and attempt to score

()Take the CMC and Luna skydiving. What could possibly go wrong?