Login

60's Era Spiderman goes to Equestria

by MarineMarksman

Chapter 24: I'm back! (Beginning of Act II)

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

With Liam being a bitch and Chad no where to be seen, I felt like it was time to step up. And considering the fact this is one of our more popular stories and most heavily requested ones, I'll be updating it from now on. I'm still a bit rusty, as I haven't written stuff like this since I originally started writing this story (where I eventually let Liam take over), but I'll get better.

-Will

It had been months since the New Years incident and the disappearance of 60's Era Spiderman from Equestria. Nopony had seen any trace of him, much to the dismay of many. In the aftermath of his disappearance, Princess Luna had finally legalized marijuana, and Fluttershy became one known to not give out fucks. Twilight joined the Marine Corps, Rarity revealed that she was an underground wrestler, Rainbow Dash took over things in the library, Applejack started selling weed with her apples, and Pinkie...

Pinkie Pie is just Pinkie Pie.


Fluttershy laid prone under a tree, flipping through the latest copy of 'How Not To Give A Fuck Monthly' as she let out a loud, bored sigh. It's been several months since 60's Era Spiderman disappeared during the New Years party. Ever since then, Fluttershy's life has been unusually dull. But, she honestly didn't give a fuck.

"Oh look... Shady is dropping with a new album this summer..." Fluttershy commented.

"How lovely."

She turned the page.


In a nearby tree, a familiar badly animated red and blue spaz hid among the leaves and branches. "That bitch stole my How Not To Give a Fuck Monthly..." our hero mumbled, before nodding in approval, "I have taught her well."

Our hero extended out his arm and jumped out of his tree, preparing to swing over to the tree Fluttershy was under. However, there was an obstacle.

Once again, our hero forgot how to shot web.

"Lawl how do I shot web?" Spiderman asked no one in particular, before falling face first into the ground.


As soon as she heard the thud, Fluttershy sat up, putting her magazine aside, and looking for the source of the noise. Upon spotting the badly animated hero lying in the dirt, she rose to her hooves and quickly made her way over to the infamous giver of no fucks.

"Guess who's back?" Spiderman asked, looking up from the dirt.

"Shady's back?"

"No, Spidey's back."

"Musical number?"

"Musical number."


With the disappearance of 60's Era Spiderman, life in Ponyville returned to normal... well, as normal as things can get around that town. Applejack trotted through the town center, her big brother following eagerly with their apple and hash cart hitched to him. As they set up shop and ponies started to gather around, eager to roll up a joint and eat a few apples to quench their munchies, Applejack took in a deep breath of Equestria's pollution-free air and smiled, looking off into the distance.

Then, she spotted it. Or them. Two figures on the horizon, one a small, yellow pony, and the other a tall human dressed in a red and blue spandex suit.

And they were singing.

"...two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside..."

AJ blinked, as the words started to get louder and more audible as the pair entered the town center.

"Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside!" the two sang together, before approaching the orange apple salespony/drug dealer.

"Guess who's back?" Fluttershy asked the orange Earth pony.

"Back again." Spiderman threw in.

"Ah dunno. Who?" Applejack inquired.

"Shady's back!" our hero answered.

"Tell a friend." Fluttershy said with a wink.

"Guess who's back... guess who's back... guess who's back... guess who's back... guess who's back... guess who's back..." everypony in the immediate area started to sing together.

"I've created a monster," 60's Era Spiderman sang, "'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more."

"They want Shady!" Fluttershy threw in.

"I'm chopped liver," Spiderman said. "Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya: A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor, some vodka that'll jumpstart my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not cooperating when I'm rocking the table while he's operating."

"Hey!" Pinkie shouted, popping out of a nearby tree trunk.

"You waited this long now stop debating 'cause I'm back," Fluttershy began to sing, "I'm on the rag and ovulating. I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem's complicating."

"So the FCC won't let me be or let me be me so let me see," Pinkie began to sing, shaking her flank like crazy, "they tried to shut me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me."

"So come on dip, bum on your lips fuck that," our hero sang, "cum on your lips and some on your tits and get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy. I just settled all my lawsuits."

"Fuck YOU DEBBIE!" Fluttershy proclaimed, shaking her hoof in the air in a mock one fingered salute.

"Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me," everypony sang, "'Cause we need a little controversy, 'Cause it feels so empty without me."

"I said!" Pinkie called out.

"This looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me," everypony continued to sing, "'Cause we need a little controversy, 'Cause it feels so empty without me."

"Little hellions kids feeling rebellious, embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis." Spiderman chanted, "they start feeling like prisoners, helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells 'bitch'!"

"A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution," Fluttershy sang, "polluting the air waves a rebel so just let me revel and bask, in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?"

"Well I'm back!" Pinkie proclaimed.

"Fix your bent antennae tune it in and then I'm gonna enter in and up under your skin like a splinter," Fluttershy continued, "The center of attention back for the winter. I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling. Infesting in your kids ears and nesting."

"Testing, 'Attention Please'," Spiderman whispered into Big Mac's ear, earning an angry stare from the red stallion before our hero jumped away, dancing in his "special" way, "feel the tension soon as someone mentions me here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free. A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?"

"Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me," everypony in the general area sang, "'Cause we need a little controversy, 'Cause it feels so empty without me."

"I said!" Pinkie called out.

"This looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me," everypony continued to sing, "'Cause we need a little controversy, 'Cause it feels so empty without me."

Suddenly, the earth started to shake violently. Everypony faced the source of the disturbance to find Iron Will racing towards them. He jumped up high into the air, landing beside our hero and his waifu.

"A tisk-it a task-it," he began to sing, "I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit, that shit. Chris Kirkpatrick you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards, and Moby you can get stomped by Obie, you 36 year old bald headed fag blow me!"

"You don't know me," Pinkie Pie proclaimed, stepping forward, "you're too old let go its over, nobody listens to techno!

"Now let's go," Spiderman exclaimed, "just give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults. I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol."

"But sometimes the shit just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me," Rarity sang, suddenly entering the fray, "So this must mean I'm disgusting, but its just me I'm just obscene.

"Though I'm not the first king of controversy," Iron Will continued, "I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley, to do Black Music so selfishly and use it to get myself wealthy."

"Hey!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"There's a concept that works," Rarity sang, "20 million other white rappers emerge but no matter how many fish in the sea it'd be so empty without me."

"Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me," everypony sang, "'Cause we need a little controversy, 'Cause it feels so empty without me."

"I said!" Pinkie called out.

"This looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me," everypony continued to sing, "'Cause we need a little controversy, 'Cause it feels so empty without me."

And then, almost as suddenly as the music number started, everypony stopped, glanced around, and quickly left the area.

Applejack blinked.

"What in tarnation...?"


Since Spiderman left, Discord and Chrysalis have made a name for themselves by becoming some of the best hitponies... or whatever the fuck they qualified for, in Equestria. With all the money they could ever need, they were now set for life, and they have decided to leave their life of assassinations and urban warfare behind for some much needed lulz.


Discord and Chrysalis sat on top of cloud high above the Manehattan high rises. In between them sat a bucket filled to the brim with piss filled water balloons.

"So, my dear queen," Discord said as he carefully plucked a balloon from the bucket and held it over the edge, "welcome to retirement."

The balloon slipped away from his paws, dropping down towards the ground at high speeds and bursting over a crowd of business ponies.

"What the fuck?!" one of them proclaimed.

"What's that smell?" another inquired.

"Jarate!" a foreign businesspony proclaimed.

"Ah... piss!" his partner groaned.

"So far, I'm loving this. Being free from my duties as queen and a hitpony. It's truly exhilarating." the former Changeling queen responded with a toothy grin, "but what should we do with this newly found freedom?"

"Hush, my dear." Discord said, shushing the Changeling, "we'll get to that later. In the meantime... let's ruin some asshole's day."

Next Chapter: Of Weed and Apples Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 47 Minutes
Return to Story Description

Login

Facebook
Login with
Facebook:
FiMFetch