"One thousand and two..." Twilight Sparkle grunted as she did yet another push up, her muscles bulging and her coat completely drenched in sweat, "one thousand and three... one thousand and four..."

"Hey Twilight?" Spike called out to the suddenly athletic booknerd as he made his way into the room from the kitchen, "I was wondering if you... Twilight? Why are you doing push ups?"

"I don't know, Spike." the lavender unicorn responded as she stood up and wiped the sweat off her face with a towel, "this morning I had this urge to get off my flank and do something."

"Even after you went off and smoked pot with Applejack?" Spike asked.

"Mhmm." Twilight responded with a nod as she made her way into the kitchen, grabbing an empty glass with her telekinesis, filling it with water, and bringing it to her lips, downing it in a matter of seconds. She repeated this process several times in an attempt to quench her thirst. After getting bored of repeating this process, Twilight climbed onto the kitchen counter and lay down on her back as she leaned her head back in the sink, allowing the sink water to cascade into her mouth, as well getting her mane completely soaked.

Spike got a raging erection from this, since wet manes really turns him the fuck on, and decided to hide his shame and make his way out of the kitchen unnoticed, where he sneak up the top floor of the library and rub one out.

"Sneaky wank lawl." Spiderman said as he swooced in through an open window, scaring Twilight and causing her to hit her head on the faucet above her head.

"My eye!" Twilight screeched in pain.

"I'm sorry lawl." He wasn't. Spiderman really couldn't give two fucks.

Twilight groaned. "It's okay..."

"Lawl k." our hero said, before pulling his Android (60's Era Spiderman doesn't give a fuck about the fact the Android came out fifty or so years later, and he certainly didn't give a fuck about Apple) out of one of non-existent pockets and checked the time and day. It was 4:31 PM, and it was Sunday.

"Let's go get down." Spiderman said.

"But it isn't Friday." Twilight protested.

"Lawl I don't give a fuck. Meet you there." our hero responded before leaping out of a window, shattering it into a million pieces.

Twilight Sparkle, however, had previous engagements. As much as she would like to get down and get fucked, she couldn't exactly cancel her plans. After quickly drying off, Twilight packed her saddlebags, awkwardly walked in on Spike rubbing one out when she attempting say good bye, and trotted out the door.

The purple unicorn trotted up the street with pep in her step, her saddlebags bouncing up and down as she made her way up the street.

Suddenly, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane screeched overhead and dropped a bucket of water on Twilight's head, completely drenching the purple unicorn. A scowl spread across Twilight's maw as she looked up and spotted Rainbow Dash hovering above her, laughing her ass off. Tired of her shit, Twilight grabbed Rainbow Dash by her tail using her telekinesis and pulled her to the ground, before pouncing on her and shoving her face in the dirt.

"I'm tired of your shit, Dash! I got somewhere to go, and now, because of your bullshit, I have to go dry off again!" Twilight screeched.

"Dear Celestia Twilight... what's got you such in a hurry?" Rainbow Dash asked as she tried to squirm out of the Element of Magic's grasp.

"If you really must know," Twilight said as she activated a spell that dried her drenched coat and mane in a matter of seconds, "I enlisted in the Marines."

"Twilight, a glass of water please?" Rainbow requested. Twilight shrugs and summoned a glass of water for the cyan pegasus. Rainbow Dash grasped the glass with her hoof (don't ask how, you fucker) and took a quick swig of it, before spitting the water in Twilight's face.

"WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed in shock.

Author's Notes:

Sorry about the shit, short chapter. I'm rather sick at the moment. Aight, peace.

-Liam