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60's Era Spiderman goes to Equestria

by MarineMarksman

Chapter 13: More humans?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

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The rough looking horses glanced at each other, then glanced back at the rather random trio. The sudden appearance of their nations leader was stunning enough, but the Element of Honesty as well as a tall, bi-pedal creature with red and blue skin? It left the horses in an utter state of confusion.

"I'm bout to buck ya'll up something fierce!" Applejack growled at them, her strong leg muscles bulging as she prepared to fight. The Princess began charging up a magic missile, while Spiderman got in a weird karate pose.

"I'm Jackie Chan lawl!" our hero exclaimed.

"LEAVE! NOW!" the princess bellowed, utilizing her Royal Canterlot Voice™ to its full effect. She hoped that it would scare off these ruffians, so she and her companions wouldn't have to beat them into submission.

Luckily, the ruffians got the message and scattered, leaving the trio and a visibly shaken mare. While Princess Luna took care of the mare, Applejack turned towards our hero. "Who's Jackie Chan?" she asked.

"Lawl I dunno." Spiderman said with a shrug, pulling off his mask and biting into a burger he snatched on his way out of the McDonalds. Luckily, it wasn't shitty tofu.

"Well, what now?" Applejack asked, as Princess Luna rejoined them.

Our hero scratched his chin. "Princess, may I ask a favor of you?" he asked.

"Sure. Why not?" Princess Luna asked. Spiderman smiled as he finished off his burger, tossed aside its wrapper, and placed his mask back over his head.


Discord and Chrysalis walked into their brand new high scale penthouse, which they had recently bought for 15,000 bits (the equivalent 150,000 American dollars). The owner of the building was a little suspicious of the former villains at first, but after a little water boarding, he agreed to let them stay.

"Did you see that colt squirm?" Chrysalis said, cackling evilly.

"Yes. It was quite... satisfying." Discord said, "sometimes, I miss being evil."

Chrysalis nodded and examined the bare living room. "We could use some furniture." she said.

"Already ahead of you, my queen." Discord said, snapping his fingers. The moment he snapped his fingers, the entire living room became fully furnished.

Only...

"Discord... mind explaining why you put all the furniture on the ceiling?" the former queen asked.

"Oh, you know, I just love a little... chaos." Discord said, floating up to one of the couches attached to the ceiling and lying down on it, despite the fact it completely broke the laws of physics.

"Discord?" Chrysalis asked.

"Yeah?"

"You had one job. You had one job... ONE JOB! And you fucked it up. Why?" Chrysalis asked, glaring at the draconequus.

"Because, my dear Chrysalis, fucking up is chaotic. Don't you agree?" Discord asked.

The Changeling rolled her eyes and grinned at him seductively. "Please Discord, put the furniture where it belongs. I'll do anything..."

Discord scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Anything, you say?" he asked.

"Mhmm." she responded with a sly smile.


The Scout sprinted across the rooftop and leaped through the air, landing effortlessly on another rooftop before continuing to sprint away, cradling the RED Teams intelligence in his arms. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed a RED Sniper pointing his rifle directly at him.

“Gotchya you wanker!” the Sniper shouted, before his sniper rifle discharged. The scout closed his eyes, waiting for his imminent death. Sure, he would come back to life in a few seconds, but being dead sucked.

However, death never came. The Scout opened his eyes to find a shield made of badly animated webs in front of him.

“Hay.” a familiar voice said from behind him. The Scout turned around and spotted 60's Era Spiderman standing there, with a purple portal swirling behind him.

“Yo Spidey!” the Scout greeted, before slapping the superhero some skin, “how's the only RED I'll ever tolerate doing today?”

“Oh, you know, just hanging.” Spiderman said with a casual shrug, “hey man, I got some ho's on the other end of this portal looking for some fun. You want in?”

The Scout glanced down at the briefcase he was cradling in his arms, before looking over the edge of the roof he and our hero were standing on. There sat a BLU Engineer, casually watching as his sentries ripped apart any RED that dared step in front of them.

“Yo! Heads up!” the Scout shouted to him, before dropping the RED intelligence down from the roof, narrowly missing the Engineers head. The Engineer appeared surprised at first as he looked up and spotted the Scout.

The Engineer smiled. “Thank ya kindly partner!” he shouted up to the Scout, picking up the RED intelligence and running off with it.

The Scout turned back to our hero. “Alright, let's go.” he said.

“Lawl k.” our hero said, as he and the Scout jumped through the portal.


“Oh! My chaos senses are tingling!” Discord announced as he and Chrysalis jumped up and down in a giant bounce castle that the embodiment of chaos put on top of the building they were staying in.

“What does that mean?” Chrysalis asked.

“It means something chaotic was just introduced into this world." Discord answered, before doing a backflip and climbing out of the bounce castle. "Come on, let's go get some dinner. I'm starved."

Chrysalis smiled. "I couldn't agree more." she said.

Next Chapter: This is me... not givin' a fuck Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 25 Minutes
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