Ch.91

“Good thing we bought that ‘Grimdark’ pack, otherwise this fight wouldn’t be visually pleasing!” Bryan shouted while he was in the thick of the battle. Already he has adapted to this world’s mechanics and has become a force of reckoning. Then again, he’s a literal God of War, so I bet he’s a death machine in any situation he finds himself in.

“Well, sorry if I prefer to see the bubbles instead of blood.” I huffed, since he was seeing gritty gore and blood of slain monsters before they dissolved. I turned that shit off the moment I realized that ‘Grimdark’ meant gory realism mixed into the world’s clean and almost PG death mechanics. I got that enough in my own world, thank you.

“I appreciate you two for the aid. I hope that my big brother can get here soon after receiving my letter.” Roe2, a woman who looked like a female Shiroe who was quite voluptuous in her own humanly reasonable way, said after she dispatched another wave of enemies with a casual flick of the wrist and a blast of light from her summoned angelic spirit of light.

I just don’t get why she used an actual pen and paper letter when she could’ve just messaged him through Menu, unless she anticipated Menu being compromised and had the letter ready in advance. “It’s no problem. It’s why we’re here, after all.” I shrugged and looked at the space rocket. “I don’t think this is in the best condition. I could fix it up with my magic hammer.”

“Please do. It will work either way, since it is meant to work so long as it isn’t destroyed. However, I would appreciate further assurance.” Roe2 nodded and then looked at Bryan as he smashed another bunch of those fish-folk monsters. “I believe with this powerful warrior here, you can be spared to perform repairs.”

“Meen-Rei, go!” Bryan said urgently before he used his jetpack to leap high into the air, then he crashed back down like a meteor into a group. Those who weren’t hit became scattered and dazed. “Time to raise the banner!” He summoned a banner and stabbed it into the ground, sending the monsters after it. The King’s Honor, he called it and no one can resist trying to take it. But it’s also a buff to the user and allies within its vicinity. “Yeah, that’s it! Come get me!”

“Excellent strategy! They will be sitting water fowl for my spirit! Spears of Light!” Roe2 shouted and her summoned spirit rained blinding golden hell on the distracted enemies while Bryan pulped those too close with his bare hands.

Seeing they had it in hand, I fetched Hephestus from my inventory and ran for the rocket. I climbed the vertical surface with ease, hitting my magic smithing hammer everywhere I could and watched as the damage sealed while the luster restored and debris fell away. Ah~. I love fixing or making things almost more than I love punching problems in the face.

Neither comes close to sex, of course, but I know myself and that’s more than many can say. “Incredible! Is that a Fantasy Class item?! I’ve never seen such of it’s type in the guide!” Roe2 declared cheerfully when the waves of monsters came to a stop.

“Hm?” Bryan looked towards Roe2 as she approached him. “What are you talking about?”

“Ah, yes, you are new. Elder Tale had a scale of value assigned to items not by rarity, but by their effects. Before the Pioneers of the Noosphere expansion that caused the Eclipse, Fantasy was the highest grade of item. Now there is a Sacrament Class. I have one such item, however, it is not usable in combat. The class denotes effects, not inherently for battle.” Roe2 explained before I finished running over the rocket and making it look brand new.

“I guess so. It’s labeled as a Fantasy Class item as well as being Iconic. I can assume because I have the only one.” I said when I jumped down to them. Once there, I whacked Bryan’s armor and all the gross stuff on him disappeared. It looked like mud or dirt to me because I chose to leave those filters on, but ew. No.

“If it’s about my banner, there are two versions of it. I carry the King’s Honor and there’s the Queen’s Glory.” Bryan explained but Roe2 shook her head.

“Oh, no. Those banners are part of your Class. Regardless of their Item Class, they can’t be used outside of your archetype. Restrictions like that prevent a lot of higher leveled gear from being used by just anyone.” Roe2 explained before looking towards the setting sun. “Ah, it seems the monsters have given up for now. I hope we’ve bought the time big brother Shiroe needs to assemble his friends and begin the journey here.”

“How are you so sure they won’t attack in the night?” I asked at the same time as Bryan and I shared a battle-hungry grin with my fuckbuddy. Damn, if I didn’t fall for Neethsi so hard, Berserker would’ve probably won me over. Oh well, I love how my relationships have turned out.

“Because we’ve drained the entire mob spawn que of Tanegashima Island. It will take several hours to refill and longer for them to muster another assault.” Roe2 looked away from the sun with a relieved sigh as the light began to dim and her faint vampiric traits enhanced as night began to fall. “I wish I could just sleep during the day. Big brother gave me such a troublesome racial subclass.”

“Will he bring the Mage of Mirror Lake and other higher-ups?” Bryan questioned.

“I do not know. I am not the master tactician that Shiroe is. At best, I believe he’ll have them under guard while he leads a strike team to the moon.” Roe2 shrugged and I began setting up a camp by building shelter and furniture with debris and my hammer. “Ah! That is so efficient! If only such an item was broadly available. So much needless suffering could be avoided.”

“Actually, I think it would bring all sorts of suffering of its own. I understand the point of ‘see a need, fill a need’, but when you take away a problem, you replace it with new ones.” I sagely stated and Roe2 blinked in bafflement with a cute tilt of her head. If this woman wasn’t so well developed, I’d almost consider her little-sister or daughter material.

“The cons outweigh the pros. If everyone had a hammer like that, many workers would lose their jobs and there’ll be a massive wave of unemployment. Which will lead to civil unrest and then a collapse of the nation.” Berserker threw in his two cents and he has a point.

“...I do not see how that is relevant at this stage of this world’s social development, where most people are forced to live in isolated city-states and rarely able to even travel between them without significant aid from empowered individuals…” Roe2 said with a confused scrunch of her eyebrows and I gave her a reluctantly agreeing nod/shrug combo.

“Yeah. She has a point there. Well, maybe if I leave this copy of my hammer with Shiroe, he and his brainy buddies can figure it out.” I stored Hephestus and plopped onto the waterproof recliner I made while the battery powered outdoor space-heater kicked on to fight off the chill for Bryan’s comfort, since clearly the Vampinella and I were cold resistant.

“Ugh! Why am I getting cold so easily again?! Fuck’s sake, I need to buy that back?!” Really EA?! Are you trying to make Bryan freeze to death?! “Fuck it.” Growling, he bought whatever gave him cold resistance and he stopped shivering from the cold. “Assholes.”

“Yes, Lord Menu has done his best to free this world from the tyranny of it’s makers, for EA is said to be the source of all suffering.” Roe2 clasped her hands together and prayed. My gosh, I know people actually worship Menu as a god, but he’s just a System Admin AI with a gigantic ego!

“Not to burst your bubble, but while Menu is powerful, he’s not really a god. He’s the System Admin for Elder Tale that usurped power from the developers when this place became real and not just a game.” It’s still a game, but now there’s people’s lives at risk with the Earthlings being all-too mortal in a world full of respawning monsters and Travelers.

“You say that, but what do you call someone who usurps the power and role of a god?” Roe2 asked in confusion and I groaned in defeat. Even daedra can be considered gods if they’re powerful enough. “Now then, I believe this is a good time to settle down and rest.” Roe2 sat on another of the waterproof recliners and curiously put the footrest up and down repeatedly.

📜

I was shaken awake by a hand on my shoulder. “Ugh...go away. Sleep…” I snuggled into the preposterously comfortable sleeping bag I made, only to squeak when my tail was grabbed through the bag! “Ah! What?!” I huffed and looked into the dark. Damn it, I don’t have Darkvision like most beast races tend to.

“They’re here.” I heard Bryan’s voice, revealing he was the culprit who pulled on my tail to wake me up. “I seem to have scared them with looks alone. Roe2 is talking with them right now.”

“Considering Naotsugu is huge and he’s nearly above average, I’m surprised. Must be another passive debuff your race and class has.” I groaned when he let go of my tail and helped me up.

“Probably. Also, Regan’s here.” I was confused as to why Bryan was warning me about a dead US president. “Not the president. He’s someone very important in this world, but is way too damn curious for his own good. He’s an elf, hunched over like a hoodlum-.”

“No clue, don’t care enough. I’m up, stop touching my tail unless you’re female. You know I get squicky with guy-on-guy stuff.” I grumbled irritably and climbed up out of my sleeping bag and staggered outside to see a large group. It seems nearly all of Log Horizon is here along with a few people I either don’t recognize or I’m too tired to fucking care. I am not a morning person when woken up early. “Yo. Here. Have a magic hammer. Can I go home now?”

Shiroe blinked when I shoved Hephestus into his hands. “Um, I don’t know. Where have you been after you disappeared at the conference in Maihama?” Shiroe questioned and I sighed. Of course Menu wouldn’t tell them for me and Cadence probably kept my disappearance a casual secret.

“I went home. I’m a Traveler like everyone here, but unlike the Genius, Fools or other Adventurers, Bryan and I still have a link home to an entirely separate dimension. Remember? I’m not from your world?” I huffed in frustration and Shiroe nodded.

“So unlike the rest of you, we should be able to leave whenever we want, but Menu asked us to help you.” Bryan clarified and pointed at Roe2 with a thumb. “She was the one who suggested helping defend this place would help you solve this whole worldwide sleep thing.”

“Which was a good idea, because now we can fly to the moon and possibly put a stop to this. I’ve brought everyone I can, but I don’t think more than 8 of us can fit on this rocket.” Shiroe looked up at it with a glare. “I think before whatever changed Elder Tale into a game, this was just meant to be a way to travel to the moon like the warp points or train stations.”

“So you’re going in heavily outnumbered.” I muttered with a look at everyone present. “Well, they’re monsters, that goes without saying. Has anyone made it to level 100?” Nobody raised their hands. “Oh my various gods...Bryan. Do we have to?”

“You wanna be a spineless dick and leave your friends for dead?” Really? You’re gonna do that to me? Asshole.

“They won’t die. They’ll just die and come back. We can’t be sure the same will work for us. Unlike them, we’re guests here.” I huffed and rubbed my snout. “Besides, we can’t even be sure whatever makes our connection to this world work would be stable. The Moon was the Test Server if I remember right.”

“That’s correct. The Moon was the Test Server and was where risky, new code was tested before being implemented in the other servers. If you two aren’t locked into Theldesia like us, there’s no way to confirm you won’t lag or be forced off due to ping or however Menu connected you to here. If that happens, we’d be down two potential party members instead of having two powerful ones.” Shiroe muttered with consideration as he rubbed his chin.

“He’s probably stuck up there.” Bryan pointed up to the Moon. “Think about it, how else was he able to pull it off with Meen-Rei? Why else couldn’t we contact him anymore?” That’s a possibility, Bryan. The others seem to think along those lines too. Ugh.

“Whatever. I’m a contortionist despite my assets. We can probably squeeze 10 people in if I’m practically painted to Bryan.” I huffed and pointed at Akatsuki, the preposterously tiny kunoichi. “Or if she scrunched up she might fit between his legs and we can get 11 people on.”

“I will do what I must to ensure the safety of everyone.” Akatsuki declared with that edgy ninja girl certainty she didn’t even need to pretend to have.

“Great. Everyone, pile into the giant space penis. Let’s go, bozo.” I grabbed Bryan’s pauldron and pulled him onto the stairs.

📜

This is really tight. I mean, I’m wrapping my legs around Bryan’s torso, my hands on his shoulders, to share his seat. Akatsuki was strapped against his front since she’s so tiny. Everyone was in frankly suicidal positions to squeeze a grand total of 15 people onto this little rocket.

“At least we’re not stuck with that K-Pop wannabe egomaniac.” Bryan remarked and I huffed in displeasure. I only just met her, but Tetora was obnoxiously flamboyant which made her extremely annoying. Bryan gave her such a tongue-lashing for her disrespectful behavior that he dealt damage to her health. That was when he learned his racial quirks included the ability to draw aggro by dealing actual damage just from verbally roasting someone.

Of course, the rest of Log Horizon became more terrified of him. All besides that Regan guy, who was ecstatic about the ability to weaponize words and wanted to know how. Luckily, the creepy hoodlum elf didn’t pester Bryan, so he went to Tetora and asked about the experience. The response he got was her sobbing as she hid herself in Naotsugu’s armor with the big man. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it made fitting more people bearable.

I’d be more concerned about the people beyond Log Horizon joining this suicide mission, but I’m more worried about being firmly attached to the most durable entity aboard this rocket ride. If anyone would survive a SNAFU, it would be Bryan. “We’re nearing the pre-programmed landing site!” Shiroe declared from the ‘pilot’ seat, which was more-or-less just a means to track the rocket’s systems and trajectory. Cursed Japanese digital remote tech! Why no analog~?!

“I wonder if the Moon has a Vault?” Bryan thought out loud. “If the Moon was indeed the testing grounds before the full game launched, that means it holds more secrets within its Vault. I believe that’s where my armor and gear came from.”

“As a Beta Tester, I can confirm there is in fact some form of Vault on The Moon. It holds unreleased, unstable items meant for later updates along with a single example of every Player Use Item in the game that the Developers used as the source code for all iterations of said items.” Shiroe stated, causing everyone besides Bryan and I to get excited. “We're not here to potentially break the system of the game, people! We’re here to save Theldesia!”

“Not to mention, Menu gets to decide on who gets what. Remember: he’s basically God here.” Bryan reaffirmed. “Still, Shiroe, do you believe that the Moon as a whole has become a Raid zone?”

“No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it acts like one. We’ll need to be ready to be seriously outnumbered, outpowered and underequipped. Our party has every role covered, but we’re not a Raid team. We’ll have to become guerilla fighters. Striking where possible and avoiding open conflict.” Shiroe replied and I really hoped we could pull a Viet-Cong without taking so long.

“I’m afraid I can’t avoid open conflict.” Bryan stated to which bewildered everyone. “Guys, every step I take makes the ground tremble. It’ll instill fear in the enemy, but it alerts them as well. If it comes down to it, make a run for it and I’ll deal with them.” That’s right. His big stature and heavy armor makes him incapable of sneaking around some fights.

“No, that’s too risky. I’m not about to sacrifice anyone.” Shiroe refused his proposal.

“If you want to improve your chances more, look for the comms station and warp gate.” Bryan suggested to the party leader. “Menu may be considered a God here, but even he’s limited. How else was he able to contact Meen-Rei and I from another universe, let alone pull one of us here?” He makes a compelling point.

“Assuming they haven’t already taken them over.” Nyanta grunted out of discomfort. He may be flexible due to being a cat, but the tall and wiry gentleman was clearly uncomfortable.

“If they have, then we kill them and save the world. Nothing’s changed.” I chuffed moments before G-Forces kicked in and we all were straining to hold on to our various restraints before the rocket came to a stop. “Dumb question. Is The Moon breathable?”

“Yes.” Shiroe calmly informed us while he unstrapped. “The Test Server was essentially equivalent to the colder climates of Theldesia. Remember, this used to be a game. Natural world logic need not apply where it’s inconvenient.”

“And here I was worried none of you would make it past the ship’s door without suffocating.” Bryan said sarcastically while we tried to get out of this damn thing. Luckily the three of us were the first ones out since Bryan carried the ninja girl and I onto the Moon’s surface. He has us sitting on his shoulders. My gosh, if we weren’t on a mission, this would be romantic as fuck.

“It is a bit cold.” Akatsuki shivered and rubbed her arms, which were the only part of her not fully covered. “It’s as nice as I remember, the last time I died. It isn’t Mare Tranquillitatis, though.”

“I’m getting the feeling that I’m OP now, since I don’t feel temperatures like most.” I chuffed as I rested my elbow on Bryan’s helmet. “Onward, noble stud! We have a world to save!”

Bryan snorted in amusement as he carried me across the surface of the Moon, following a convenient Waypoint that appeared just before we left the rocket. Everyone following behind him was either talking strategy or wondering about the two of us. The younger faces were fearful of Bryan and the ones who didn’t know me were definitely curious.

I heard a few talking about my perfect ass framed by sitting on Bryan’s massive pauldron or that my tits are so huge they can see them from behind. Heh~. I’m sexy and I know it~. Wait! “I just felt Killing Intent!” I warned everyone. My Monk Subclass had the passive ability to sense hostile intent. It was really neat, but rarely needed like it was moments before an ambush like now!

Monsters that looked like monochrome, muted versions of monsters down on Theldesia formed from the powdery white-gray surface of the moon and rushed us in a tide! I leaped up alongside Akatsuki from Bryan’s shoulders and performed a Ki Kannon while she used a Shuriken Storm. We watched in surprise as her shurikens orbited around my blast of blue energy to tear a path through the small army of monsters, who didn’t produce Empathium bubbles on death.

Did we just discover Skill Synergy?! “Nice one, girls! Alright! You fucking wastes of non-existence! C’mere!” Bryan roared and grabbed a warhorn from his shoulder before he summoned the King’s Honor and blew the horn while slamming it into the ground. This drew the remaining two thirds of the hoard directly to him, making them sitting ducks for the others as Akatsuki and I landed on Bryan’s shoulders without him even budging.

“Impressive.” Akatsuki and I fist-bumped without looking at each other. “Ninja do not normally do something so flashy, but that was an acceptable use of shuriken.”

“Where are the bloody Tanks?! Get your asses in gear and keep them off our ranged attackers!” Bryan ordered as he hacked and slashed with Akatsuki and I standing on his shoulders still and using ranged attacks to keep the hoard from swarming him. Gotta admit, this is pretty fun!

Next Chapter: Ch.92 Estimated time remaining: 14 Minutes