Ch.90

[Morndas, 1st Morning Star: New Years, 0E:000]

I woke up like always, snuggled between two of the four most beautiful and wonderful ladies in the universe. I seamlessly leaped from my laying position in the bed to the ensuite bathroom door and silently entered to prepare for the day. The sexy lizard lady in the mirror greeted me with her green slit eyes smiling as usual and I grabbed my toothbrush.

“Hey.” I cooed when my former daughter and sister, Shade, suddenly appeared next to me, bumping our hips together and she also grabbed her toothbrush. I had gone through a Change, surprisingly, which replaced my horns with a long mane of golden feathers like Shade’s. I guess my longing for it caused my body to respond, thus making us entirely identical now.

We were both interrupted by Neethsi and Zaeza suddenly appearing behind us, wrapping their hands around our waists and nuzzling our cheeks. Then Rarity levitated us away from the sink and to our jacuzzi, which Rarity refused to not have as our bathroom’s tub. “Morning Ladies, you know oral hygiene happens after body hygiene.” Rarity tutted and I rolled my eyes.

“Rarity, thanks to Twilight’s ‘everclean’ enchanted anklets for us all, none of us need to clean anything up.” I reminded her of Twi’s wedding gift, which made Rarity so happy to not have to nitpick over every dirty thing she had to touch.

“You’re going to protest soaking in hot water in the morning?” Neethsi asked rhetorically and I chuffed as I let the hot water rise up my body-.

“Hey! Need Meen-Rei, bye!” Brennie yoinked me out of the bathroom and I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms under my naked breasts while she dragged me, literally, on my heels because I’m durable enough for her to be rough and pull me by my tail.

“You know, all you have to do is ask and I’ll fuck you whenever, Brennie.” I huffed at my fuckbuddy. This wouldn’t be the first time she dragged me away to satisfy her intense carnal hunger that I somehow outpace. Or rather, I manage to never find my limit. I mean, shit, I must be the most physically powerful entity in this universe that’s native to this universe. If there were Dragonball Z powers here, I’d be like Super Saiyan whatever-the-fuck-is-strongest by now.

“No sex. It’s Menu, he wants us both. All of the People of the Earth have fallen into a deep sleep. The perps are a new type of enemy called Genius. They’re in the same boat as the Adventurers, but not so nice.” Brennie explained herself and I groaned at Displaced shenanigans taking me away from my peaceful and idyllic domestic life. “On the flip-side, we can finally swear. Menu has done some growing up since last time and wishes for me to do some tests. I think it’s because of Shiroe’s discovery of World Magic.”

“That’s nice and all, but is it somehow temporally urgent? Dimensional travel involves time travel, do we have to go now?” I asked with a sigh, but Brennie was silent. “You need a distraction from your problems and going on an adventure is the easiest way to do it?”

“...Not here, but over in Elder Tale. Menu was vague about it, but stated that it involved me and you’re there as emotional support.” Brennie’s explanation was not what I was expecting, but that grim expression on her face meant that she was dreading whatever she might find.

“What did he tell you?” I asked her when I became concerned. Menu better be sincere and not give her false hope, otherwise I’m going to kick his ass.

“There might be a lead for me to follow’.” Wow, that was vague. It could mean anything. “He said it was a gift from him to me. I don’t know how he figured out that it was my birthday today, but-.”

“Wait, what?!” It’s her birthday?! “Remember to ask for birthday sex first next time.” I kissed her.

📜

‘Logging in’ to Elder Tale was...weird. I mean, it’s not a game, yet the universe it’s in or at least the world, acts like it is. In fact, I’m in the guest room that Cadence was staying in at Maihama Castle, where I ‘Logged out’ before. As directed by Brennie, I didn’t return at a time I would prefer, which meant I wasn’t greeting Cadence. Instead, I intended to log in at the specified time, months later than when I left.

The guest room was empty, so it wasn’t immediately apparent, but when I leaped down from the balcony and witnessed Earthlings strewn everywhere in a slumber, I could tell why Menu would seek outside help. The Adventurers or Daves as the slur goes, may originally not be native to here, but that changed when the Apocalypse happened.

I, however, am a Visitor. My Mind and Body are actually only temporarily linked here. If I need to, I should even be able to log out in a dire situation to save my bacon. Or I might not have to! Why am I level 100?! Why am I wearing a much sluttier outfit than the Round Table uniform?! I mean, the belly dancer outfit I’m in right now is very much to my liking, but still!

Also, I kinda forgot the rest of Brennie’s directions after coming to a stop on a roof and shivering despite the warm sun because of my scant clothing and the wind. Seriously, why do I look like a slut? I want this outfit for my wives to ogle me in, but what is it? Menu? ...Menu? Okay, uh, not good. I manually brought up my menus and winced. Courtesan Clothes. This is literally a prostitute outfit. I kinda don’t want to know why my avatar is wearing that!

I grumbled and stripped out of the clothes, putting them in my inventory and fetching my white and silver combat gi, which has gotten more decorations and leveled with me. What has Menu been doing with my avatar while I’ve been away?! I feel so violated! Wait a minute, where’s Brennie? I thought she would have appeared with me. “Dammit, what’s going on?”

“Ugh, my head.” I heard from nearby and rushed across the roof once I had my gi back on. I sighed in relief when I found Brennie just inside of a balcony entrance, only now she was a he. “Shit. He didn’t mention he was gonna remove my Cybertronian and return my human form. At least Felsa and Pandora are with Twilight.”

“Well, you still have your armor and gear.” I added as Bryan slowly got back up. He was obviously bigger than most and would stick out like a sore thumb, especially with all the teched out armor, gear and weapons he came with. “I’m guessing remaining a Transformer was game-breaking.”

“Yeah.” Bryan nodded his head as he looked himself over, but with every step he took it left an imprint of his boots. “Hm, say, do I have a jetpack on my back?” He asked while showing his back to me. “What is my class?”

“Yeah, of a sort. It looks more archaic than before. Check your menus. It’ll tell you, but I’m getting Artificer vibes.” I mean it would make sense to classify him as one after stripping him of his Transformer powers while he’s here.

“Argentine.” Bryan muttered as he checked out his stats. “Hm, it seems Menu was busy incorporating some new elements. I’m considered a new species. Oh, yeah, My subclass is Artificer and my race is Argentine Ancient. My class is...nothing but question marks.”

“Question marks? You mean to say you’re not compatible with any of the classes?” I asked in confusion since I thought he would be considered a Guardian.

“I don’t know.” Bryan shook his head before turning around to face me. Damn, he makes the place tremble with each step he takes. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s check in with Shiroe and the others.”

“So long as you don’t try to verbally shank them.” I teased him and he snorted in amusement. “Seriously, are you sure you’re not classed as a Guardian?” I asked while we left the room, though he had trouble fitting through the doorway.

“I’m not classed as a Guardian.” Bryan answered with a grunt as he squeezed his way out.

“So, any particular ability or two that sticks out?” I asked him since I’m sure he has some abilities that not even the Adventurers, or the People of the Earth have seen.

“Psychological Warfare.” The tall, beefy armored man’s answer was unsettling. “Like its name suggests, it’s a passive ability that works as a debuff to enemy morale. Only we Argentines have that and it only activates in combat.”

“So it’s active the moment you fight.” That sounds like a rather OP racial ability compared to when you have the Fox-Tails who are powerful spellcasters, but randomly lose a spell in exchange for another random spell with every level, making them barely played. Which is why there’s so few foxy cuties around.

“For me, should I choose to fight in close combat, I need to be up close and personal in order for it to work. Even if I was outnumbered, it won’t help my opponents since the effect will stack. So, I still have the advantage. Of course, if I engage with a gun, the range of it extends to those I am aiming at. Same thing with using a grenade and so forth.” That’s overpowered as fuck! Bryan wasn’t kidding either, he could change the flow of battle! “Another ability is called War Cry, a superior version of Battle Cry.”

“Let me guess; only you and your people have it and it acts as a buff. Right?” It’s official, Bryan is way more OP than I am right now. All I do is breathe underwater and produce MP restoring hallucinogenic sap that tastes delicious while being immune to Poison and Disease procs.

“Right. Not only that, it works in tandem with Psychological Warfare and the more Argentines I have with me, the more potent they become. Anyone within earshot will also get the buff, should they be allies or be stunned for five seconds if they’re enemies.” Sheesh, I pity the enemies of the Argentines if this is what Menu translated Bryan into.

“Well, guns aren’t naturally part of Elder Tale, so you also have the advantage of being the first gun user ever. Now then, I’m going to try and message-.” I clicked on Shiroe, but I got a glitch. Suddenly, every option was someone named Roe2. “Huh? Uh…” I pressed one of them and the call started connecting. “I don’t know who Roe2 is, but Menu clearly wants me to talk to them.”

“That would be Shiroe’s vampiric twin sister. Call her.” Bryan suggested, but I already made the call, this Roe2 person just needs to answer.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice asked with surprise in her tone.

“Yeah, uh, hello. All my friends on my menu have been replaced by you, so I guess Menu wants me to talk to you?” I kinda wish this chat had some sort of video feature right now, because this ironically feels really limited when we have magitech menus to work with.

“Oh! You’re a friend of Lord Menu? Well, I could use some help. I’m at Jaxea, defending the rocket to the moon from monsters the Geniuses have compelled to attack.” Roe2 answered and I perked up hard enough I almost whipped Bryan’s chin with my tail.

“That sounds like a good idea! If Shiroe would head anywhere to reach the moon, it would be there! I’m at Maihama since that’s where I last logged out.” I winced. Shit. I’m one of the only entities on Theldesia who can even leave. I hope she doesn’t freak out.

“Log? Oh! Oh! You’re one of those friends! Hello fellow Traveler! I’m a Fool, we can talk more later. To get here, you need to get to Tanegashima Island. It’s one of the southernmost islands of Yamato.” How the fuck am I going to get-oh!

“Bryan, it’s a good thing you’re here. We need to fly all the way to Tanegashima to help Roe2 defend the rocket launch site.” I tugged him all the way onto the balcony and then jumped into his arms bridal style. “Blast off! Take us south and then follow the shore!”

Nodding his head, he faced south and powered up his jetpack. “Hold on.” Bryan told me before blasting off into the sky.

📜

“This gets kinda boring after an hour.” I bemoaned while still clinging to Bryan’s shoulder and neck with his arms clutching me against his chest. I’m a tough girl, so the cold biting subsonic winds weren’t more than an unpleasant chill when there was an inferno of heat on Bryan’s back. “I mean, it’s neat to see everything from on high, but it all kinda blends together.”

I’m honestly surprised either of us can even breathe or hear anything over the roar of the wind and his jetpack. I’ll blame magic fuckery and leave it there. Oh, wait, he has his helmet on.

“We’re close.” Bryan informed me when we saw the island getting closer. We’d left Kyushu’s southern shore not even a few minutes ago. Damn was Bryan’s jetpack bullshit OP for this world. Then again, I don’t think that pack would be reliable for combat aside from repositioning around field battles. “Now, I think the meter I see getting lower is my fuel level or MP, I can’t read Japanese. All I know is it’s getting low, so I’d feel better dropping us on the north beach.”

“Uh, good idea.” At least there’s some limiter on that thing. Maybe it is something to be incorporated in the Pioneers of the Noosphere expansion. “Uh, maybe not this low?” I asked meekly as the sea suddenly got a lot closer! “Bryan?!” I didn’t think you were out!

“Shit.” He cursed before twirling his body to face skyward. Shutting off his jetpack, we dropped into the sea with a pretty big splash. At least we didn’t go skipping across the water's surface like a pebble. Mm~. So cold, but so wonderful.

I breathed out the air in my lungs, welcoming the cold seawater into me and feeling beyond refreshed as my gills and water-adapted lungs breathed for the first time in a while. I swam Bryan’s heavy armored self to the surface and made sure his head was above water before I sat his butt on my shoulders with his thighs around my head and I swam south according to the compass.

I would’ve been worried about being attacked, but I couldn’t see anything interested in us and I was swimming fast enough that unless it was a surface-skimming predator made for speed, we were safe.

When we neared the shore, I stopped and turned around before ‘climbing’ up Bryan’s front while using my legs and tail to keep us up and I breached the surface, spraying water out my mouth from my lungs in a squirt. “How does the beach look?” I asked the cold, shivering man before turning my head to see if the coast was clear. Oh my gosh. That’s where that saying is from!

“N-Nothing on the beach is moving. It looks c-c-clear.” Bryan answered through shuddering breath and chattering teeth. I guess it is cold. Being an Argonian, who are weird beyond normal, I don’t experience temperatures like most species. This is brisk, but pleasant to me.

“Alright, I’ll get you out of the water.” I got between his legs again and swam as fast as I could until he touched silt. Once he was climbing out on his own, I got on dry land to help him onto the sand and started undressing him.

“W-what a-are you d-doing now of all t-times?!” Bryan demanded with a blush as I manhandled him and removed his armor. He may have super strength, but I have super strength, agility and techniques of martial prowess most living beings can’t hope to obtain.

“Getting this cold and wet equipment off of you. You need to warm up and staying in wet clothes won’t help.” I huffed and yanked his pants down. I blinked at his pixelated censorship penis and then groaned in anguish at this immense disappointment and the stupidity of it. “That is just dumb.” I finished yanking off his wet pants and then helped him out of the wet shirt.

“I-I said we c-c-could swear, that was all h-he could do.” Bryan reminded me with a huff.

“But when I look at my own nudity I don’t see pixels. The Earthlings don’t have pixelated lewd bits. Why are we like this when we clearly don’t need to be?” I whined and used a convenient low branch of a tree to hang Bryan’s clothes while I put his equipment against said tree. “I mean, look at me.” I shucked my gi off in one motion. It was wet too. “Am I pixelated in places?”

I bent forward and used my fingers to pull my pussy open while turning slightly and hefting a tit so he could clearly see the nipple and even wiggled my tail. My tail was also a penis of sorts, so it being out all the time made it getting pixelated when I’m nude a toss-up in my mind.

“No.” Bryan raised a brow as he looked down at his penis. “I-I mean, I can s-s-see myself just fine. But you can’t?”

“So I don’t get pixelated in your vision? Okay, what is the deal with this? There has to be a setting...microtransactions?! Fuck you, EA!” How do they have so much influence after this world clearly ceased to be a simulation?!

“H-How much?” Bryan asked before he turned away from me and sneezed.

“69 US Dollars. Is it just for the meme? That’s over 7000 yen judging by the prices on the market tab.” I growled at the exorbitant prices it was demanding! I mean, sure, I’m not actually a subscriber to the service that created this world and that’s chump change to me, but still!

“Fucking rip-offs! In New Zealand, that would cost almost three times or more.” Bryan complained as he tried to clean up. Sand gets everywhere, at least on humans. My smooth hydrophobic scales don’t have to worry about solids getting stuck when a swipe of water takes everything off of me.

“Whatever, the market tab has been converted to use in-game currency and I don’t care about buying shit here. Why do I have so much?! Okay, what the absolute fuck has Menu been doing with my avatar while I’m away?! I was in prostitute clothes, I don’t have the censorship filter when others look at me and I’m fucking rich!” I feel so violated~! I mean, I’d totally do what I think he’s been doing with my avatar, but what the ever-loving fuck Menu?! Ask first!

“Maybe he wants you to break EA’s monopoly grip? Who knows, maybe you have enough to buy this whole world off them?” Bryan theorized and I chuffed in amusement.

“I’m not that rich, Bryan. I mean, I could throw gold at people to remove restrictions easily. Here, let me-.” I paid, then suddenly I could feel! I mean, really feel! I thought I was feeling just fine before, but there was some sort of muted tone to it that I only noticed after it was gone! “Woo! Hey, here! Remove your restrictions!” I poured a pile of gold coins out of the sleeve of my hanging gi. “Wow, I can’t believe how muted everything was without me noticing!”

“I don’t think player inventories were meant to hold that much, but okay.” Bryan muttered and I wondered what he meant by that as he approached the gold and scooped up handfuls, which vanished a bit whenever he bought something. Yay! His yummy body is fully in my view now! “Brr~! M-maybe I should’ve w-waited on a couple of those!”

“I dunno~. You’re looking pretty perky there!” I giggled with an amused point at his nips, which were so stiff on his pecs they might’ve been able to cut stone if he rubbed against a cliff face. Have I mentioned how fucking jacked Bryan is? I’m talking the high-quality CG incredible hulk levels compressed into a humanly possible frame, here. Meow~.

“Motherfuckers! I have to buy my tattoos and scars back?! Ah, fuck it!” Bryan took some more gold from the pile, which was only a fraction of my fortune, before using it to restore his tribal body covering tattoos and scars, enriching his genuinely Maori skin tone. Wow, racial and cultural censorship too, EA? You’re just asking for all kinds of lawsuits in the world that this one originated in. “Fucking pigs. Now then, are you going to do something about this?”

“Hm?” I blinked and then perked up when he approached and pointed down at his long, hard, thick dick. Oo~! “Mm~. Sure thing, stud. Let me-.” A call? “Hold on.”

“When are you getting here?!” Roe2 shrieked desperately. Oh, right, monsters. Oops?

Next Chapter: Ch.91 Estimated time remaining: 29 Minutes