Purity Ebonshield

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This had been a pleasant evening spent with Purity Ebonshield’s comrades of the cuaternio, but one which could be better.

Leaning forward slightly, she glanced around the table. "I am obligated to say: this is a, a fun party, but for my tastes, she has too much alcohol and not enough colts."

Corporal Bound snorted and took another sip of her gin martini. Specialist Sparkshower, her head resting on the table, smiled and suppressed a laugh.

The unicorn Glamerspear shrugged her shoulders. "Blame that on the rules on VIP assignment duties, Sarge."

With a smirk, she rolled her head towards Ebonshield. "Anonymous is a single colt, so he gets a little herd of mares to escort him around."

"This is what I am referring to. Why is this the case?"

"You know why, Sergeant." With an unsubtle lift of her eyebrow and a forward tilt of her head, it's obvious what Glamerspear means.

But they told her that escorts don't do that anymore!

"I do not comprehend..." Ebonshield turned to Corporal Bound. "... You said that providing companionship was no longer a requirement of VIP guards, Caporal Honor."

The alcohol was causing her to slip into her native tongue.

"... Er, Corporal Honour."

The Corporal put down her drink. "I did say that. But I also said that it still happens."

"And this is because this still happens, that only mares are provided for single colts, and only colts provided for single mares? But to do this seems to me to only invite such trysts to continue."

Honour Bound shrugged. "You're not wrong. It is weird to still assign guards by sex in this day and age. I think there was a motion in court to change the rules a while back, but it was defeated."

Glamerspear snickered. "Yeah, it was defeated -- and I heard that Princess Celestia threatened to veto it."

Honour narrowed her eyes. "I remember that she spoke out against it; the debate was in the newspapers. She said the VIP duty system was an important part of our tradition and culture, and worth preserving. But I don't remember her threatening a veto."

The unicorn giggled. "The Princess of the Sun speaks out against a proposal, and you don't call that a veto? There could be a motion to declare that the sky is blue, and if she came out and said it was actually pink, enough would follow her that the motion would fail."

Corporal Bound sat back, looking contemplative. "I suppose that's true."

Leaning towards Glamerspear, Ebonshield probed further. "Is it an important part of Equestrian tradition and culture? I would have thought my proposal would not have provoked such a reaction if it was."

The pink unicorn rubbed her hooves together. "Eh, if it was anypony else -- and then also if you weren't a batpony, of course -- you might have gotten yourself a new lover. Although the Corporal probably would still have choked on her drink, because it was still a very forward move to make on your first duty shift. Around here we like to take it a little slower."

Ebonshield had noticed just how slowly ponies did take things here in Equestria. This was almost shameful how they wasted their time, but then again, they hadn't been living on a thousand-year divine schedule, which made for certain... expediencies in batpony culture. And Ebonshield was pretty expedient, even compared to her fellows.

Raising her hooves up, Glamerspear continued on, a smirk creeping back onto her face. "But as to the 'tradition and culture,' I've heard something about that as well..."

Corporal Bound snorted. "This should be good."

The unicorn just ignored her. "I heard that Princess Celestia spoke out against it because she didn't want to lose her personal stable of colts."

The Corporal silently shook her head and rolled her eyes.

Glamerspear continued. "She is a single mare, after all, and she gets a whole company of the Household Division to herself."

Continuing to ignore the naysayer, Glamerspear glanced at Ebonshield and Sparkshower. "You've seen them, right? The First Regiment of Life Guards, Her Majesty's Own Troop of Ponies, might just be the finest studs in Equestria. Strong topline, balanced conformation, good set to their hock."

Those were certainly desirable physical qualities in a stallion, regardless of the breed.

Sparkshower spoke up, her head still lying on the table. "Well, shouldn't Her Majesty be guarded by the best-looking ponies? They're there for pomp and ceremony, after all"

Glamerspear leaned over. "Sure she should. But why not mares as well as colts?"

Before the pegasus could say anything, the unicorn pointed a hoof at her. "I'll tell you why: because she enjoys her colt-candy."

Ebonshield saw Sparkshower's wings creep open slowly as she lifted her head up off the table. "'Enjoys'?"

Glamerspear just smiled and kept silent.

The pegasus may have missed it, but for Ebonshield, the innuendo was obvious. "You are suggesting that the Princess Celestia beds her guards."

Glamerspear wiggled her eyebrows. "Not just me. Rumours get around; anypony who keeps their ears open has probably heard one."

Spreading her hooves wide, she gestured towards Honour. "Why, I bet our dismissive Corporal has one version she could share."

With a sigh, the target of Glamerspear's gesticulation nodded her head. "Yeah, I have."

‘Really?’

Ebonshield raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

Everypony looked expectantly over at the Corporal, who licked her lips before speaking. "I've heard rumours she bucks around with her guardscolts on a pretty regular basis. And I've also heard that Her Majesty is a 'giver.'"

‘Really!’

How appropriate for the kind Princess of the Sun to be generous in bed.

The young Sparkshower narrowed her eyes, not quite comprehending. "What's a 'giver'?"

Turning away from Honour, Ebonshield looked over at the adorable little chica. "Darling, this is a lover who takes more satisfaction in pleasing their partner, than from obtaining pleasure themselves."

The cream-colored pegasus nodded. "Oh..."

Her nodding stopped.

"... How would she do that?"

Ebonshield could think of a few ways, but she turned back to the Corporal, wondering if there was more detail to the rumor.

Honour licked her lips again. "Oral sex."

With a smile, Sparkshower nodded quickly. "Ooooooh! Colts like that!"

Glamerspear leaned in close to Sparkshower, wearing a smirk. "Oh yeah, Sparks? 'Puddin' likes it when you go down on him?"

Instantly, the cream coat turned red. "I--Maybe! That's between me and my coltfriend, Lily!"

Feigning innocence, Glamerspear leaned back. "I was just curious about your technique, that's all."

The pegasus furrowed her brow. "My... technique?"

This was a bit amusing to watch the poor little filly be teased in such a way, but Ebonshield hoped the more experienced mare did not take this too far.

"Yeah, you know. Do you stick with... licking? Or does your repertoire include sucking as well?"

Those young cream-colored cheeks got rosier every time Glamerspear emphasized one of the verbs critical.

"... Can you take his whole length in your mouth? Do you let him finish in there? And if you do, do you swallow?"

Her eyes as wide as dinner plates, Specialist Sparkshower was struck silent by the unicorn’s enquiries. They were reasonable questions, of course, but the poor little potra was obviously not used to talking about the subjects sensual.

On Ebonshield’s left, Honour spoke up. "You don't have to answer her, Sparkshower. Lily is just trying to bait you."

That got a frown from the unicorn. "Bait her into what? We're all adult mares here, Corporal. Artemis doesn't have to share anything she doesn't want to..."

She turned back to look at the embarrassed pegasus. "... But if she does share, then maybe she can learn a thing or two."

This had probably gone far enough; Ebonshield would put her hoof down as well if Glamerspear pressed further.

"Uh... I... I'm not sure I want to talk about this right now."

Ebonshield shot a telling glance in the direction of the unicorn, but the mare paid her no attention.

The nerve!

"That's alright, Sparks. Sorry for putting you on the spot like that. Perhaps the Corporal has heard what technique Princess Celestia prefers?"

At least she retreated.

Honour smiled. "I'm very happy to report that I haven't. I only heard that she gives it, and reportedly, very well."

Glamerspear continued on immediately. "Well, I've heard that the Princess isn't a giver at all -- she's a taker."

Ebonshield laughed. "Oh, now this is información most juicy."

Turning sideways in her chair, Glamerspear leaned on one elbow. "I've got a friend in the infirmary-"

"No surprise considering how much time you spend there." It would seem that the Corporal could not resist poking in a ribbing of her own, based on the recent revelation about the past of Specialist Glamerspear.

Shooting a few metaphorical daggers from her eyes, the unicorn continued. "ANYWAYS- this friend tells me that every few weeks they have to treat a guardscolt of the First Regiment of Life Guards for pelvic fractures. And the colt never wants to speak about how they were injured."

Honour lifted her eyebrows, her tone dismissive. "Pelvic fractures."

"That's what I said."

"What's that supposed to mean, Glamerspear?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

The Corporal just shook her head and looked off, apparently tired of the unicorn's games.

Tilting her head back, Ebonshield smiled. "I think I know. The Princess of the Sun is quite large, is she not? Compared to an average pony, at least, or even an above-average pony, like those of the Household Division."

Glamerspear nodded and smiled. "Exactly. So the story I've heard going around is that Her Majesty doesn't give, she takes. And since even the biggest guardscolt couldn't mount her without a stepladder, she climbs on top."

Sparkshower clapped her hooves to her snout. "Ohmygosh! That must hurt!"

Glamerspear started to chuckle, so Ebonshield reassured the pegasus. "I am sure Her Majesty makes every attempt to be gentle, Specialist."

Having ended her laughing fit, Glamerspear wiggled her eyebrows. "I'm not. My friend in the infirmary says those First Regiment colts show up with bruises all the time."

On the bat pony’s left, Corporal Bound scoffed. "That's nonsense. The ponies in the Household Division train harder than almost anypony else in the guard. Those bruises are from rough work in the field."

Glamerspear shrugged. "Maybe. I'm just sharing the rumor I've heard. About Princess Celestia, anyways. I've heard different rumors about Princess Luna."

She looks at Ebonshield, who lifted an eyebrow. "¿Ah, sí? What have you heard?"

The unicorn pursed her lips. "Oh, I'm not sure if I want to spread stories about the 'Mother-of-Stars' in the company of one of her 'Children.' Wouldn't want to give offense, after all."

‘Cabron! She is quite the tease, is she not?’

Ebonshield shook her head and smiled. "You do not care about offending me, Specialist Glamerspear. I think instead that you would like it if I were embarrassed by what you have to say. And you would be disappointed. The Mother-of-Stars may be a divine entity to her children, but she is still a mare with the needs of a mare. This is entirely appropriate for her to satisfy them; or do you think that unicorn children are delivered by mail-pegasi?"

The teaser of a unicorn wobbled her head and gave Eb a wry smile. "Okay, you got me, Sarge. I'm not just an attention-whorse, I'm a shit-disturber, too."

She chuckled and turned to the rest of the table. "I've got some actual details about Princess Luna. Once a month, the rumor goes, she picks a colt from among her own escort, and takes them in bed. But the how is where it gets interesting."

She paused, waiting to make sure that she had the attention of everypony. When it was apparent that she did, she continued.

"Instead of non-vaginal sex, or mounting them on top, Princess Luna prefers to be mounted herself, in the usual fashion."

Sparkshower narrowed her eyes. "But Princess Luna is almost as big as Princess Celestia!"

"True, she's too tall for them."

Even the Corporal could not resist poking at the rumor. "You're going to say she has them climb up a ladder."

Glamerspear broke out into a wide smile, nodding. "Not a ladder. The rumor I've heard is that her chambers have been equipped with a system of... slings and harnesses."

That just confused everypony else at the table, Ebonshield included.

"¿Qué?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

Waving her hooves around in the air to aid her description, Glamerspear elaborated. "Slings and harnesses. She and her chosen colt strap themselves in, then a system of pulleys, mounted in the ceiling, lifts them into the air so that they can buck, comfortably, at the right height, with no risk of a broken pelvis."

Several seconds passed in silence.

Then Corporal Bound burst out in laughter. Pounding her hoof on the table, she doubled over forward, convulsing so hard she almost choked.

Sparkshower, her brow furrowed, was suppressing her own chuckles.

But Ebonshield just nodded. "This sounds reasonable to me."

Corporal Bound lifted her head up from the table, still dying of mirth, and just stared at the batpony. Even Glamerspear turned to her, her eyes wide, as the Corporal choked with laughter.

Ebonshield shrugged. "What?"

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Suggested interlude music: Salt-N-Pepa - 'Let's Talk About Sex'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g

Next Chapter: Chapter 43 Estimated time remaining: 30 Hours, 16 Minutes