Be a Human Day

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction by Andrew J Talon

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan based parody. MLP:FiM is the property of Hasbro and Lauren Faust. Please support the official release.

••••••••••

Spike

Allow me to be perfectly honest: I think Twilight has really gone off the deep end this time.

I know, I know: I’ve said that a lot. Well, I’ve thought about it a lot more than I’ve said it. Not that Twilight would care either way, she usually just does stuff and doesn’t listen to me.

Transforming the entire town into freaky alien primates to try and make Shepherd feel better about never going home seemed like way too much. Then again, Twilight’s never really been able to think straight when it comes to Shepherd. She doesn’t have any experience with romance, and combined with her poor impulse control it just turns her even crazier.

Then again, Shepherd is crazy too. He’s a squishy, violent primate without any magic who willingly throws himself into battle against demi-gods and monsters with a sword and a quippy line. So I suppose they’re perfect for each other.

Anyway, despite every other time I’ve failed to keep my employer/big sister/mother figure from causing a huge disaster, I once again tried to talk some sense into her. She was poring over her spellbooks in the Hall of Friendship on the Cutie Mark Table, magical items and devices floating around her in her magical grip.

“Twilight,” I began, “this will only end in tears and utter disaster.”

“The city council voted for it! The Mayor approved it!” Twilight said cheerfully. “It’s all above board!”

“Like governments never make mistakes,” I deadpanned, leaning back in my chair as Twilight kept a veritable storm of magical accoutrements spinning around us.

“You’ve been listening to Luna too much! She’s so cynical about bureaucracy and constitutional limits!” She giggled.

I sighed, and rubbed my tiny clawed hands against my face.

“She has good reasons for it, if this is what it leads to,” I stated. Twilight gave me a concerned look.

“What’s really wrong, Spike? Come on, tell me,” she said. I huffed, and crossed my arms over my chest. I gave her a glare, and definitely not a sulk.

“Whenever this kind of thing happens, I’m always left in the background,” I grumbled. “Or left cleaning the castle up. Sorting the books in the library. Or getting exploded.”

“Aw,” Twilight said, giving me a rub atop my head with her hoof. “I’m sorry Spike. I guess I haven’t really considered how this might affect you. Hey, I know!” She beamed. “How about I turn you into a human?”

I snorted.

“Oh sure. Turn me into a baby human!” I grumbled. “Maybe I can spit up all over the floor, or crawl because my bones would be mostly cartilage! That can’t end badly!”

Twilight got off her throne, and crouched in front of me. She gave me a warm smile.

“Actually Spike? Thanks to all the research I did into this spell? I was able to lock in what age you’d be as a human,” she said. “Do you know what age you’ll be?”

I looked at her cautiously. A little bit of hope blossomed in my chest.

“What?” I asked.

“Eighteen,” she said. “Legal human adult age. Also? Rarity’s going to go human too.”

“Where do I sign up?!” I asked eagerly, my brain immediately turned to mush.

••••••••••

We all gathered together in the Hall of Friendship. Pinkie Pie was bouncing up and down in her chair, Applejack and Dash were leaning over the table impatiently, Fluttershy was tapping her hooves together nervously, and Starlight was grinning. I was sitting in my side chair and patting my hands on the armrests. Twilight sighed and patted me on the shoulder.

“Let’s just calm down, Spike,” Twilight murmured. “You’re way too thirsty.”

I gave her an incredulous look. She had the grace to blush just a bit.

“Don’t say it, I know it,” Twilight muttered.

“Do you? Do you really?” I asked, raising my scaly brows. Twilight cleared her throat, and looked around.

“Do we know where Rarity is?” She asked. That’s what I wanted to know.

“Let’s be patient,” Twilight said with a smile.

The doors to the chamber opened, and Rarity trotted in with multiple bags. She beamed at us all, her gaze lingering on me for a bit longer than the others. I timed it. I’m that good.

“Sorry I’m late everypony,” Rarity cried. “I had to get a few more accessories for this day!” She set it all on the Cutie Map. She took her chair and rested her hooves on the table.

“Now,” she began, “how is everypony this morning? Did you all sleep well after the city council meeting-?”

“Can we get on with the transforming already?!” Dash demanded. “COME ON!”

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity scolded her. “Have some decency!”

“We all know we all slept just fine! Now come on!” Rainbow Dash said defiantly. She shot a look at Twilight.

“Come on! Let’s do the magic already!”

I nodded, trying not to seem frantic.

“If we could, please,” Fluttershy murmured. “If it would be all right?”

Twilight sighed. “All right, all right,” she said, leaning back on her throne. “Now, I must warn you all: While I am very certain that the spell isn’t harmful, there may be unexpected side effects-”

“Come on already!” Dash shouted. Twilight shook her head, and looked over at me.

“I’ll have to adjust the spell for dragons,” she said, “but you might want to get an apron from the kitchen.”

“Huh? Why? I asked.

“Dragons carry their genitals on the inside, but humans carry them on the outside,” Fluttershy pointed out. “That’s why Shepherd wears clothing.”

“Oh,” I muttered. I turned and headed to the kitchen as quickly as I could. I then picked up my largest apron, and hurried back.

It let me get back to the Friendship Hall just in time to see a wave of magic washed over the room. As it faded… There were humans everywhere.

Female humans. They were shorter than Shepherd, and much… Curvier. I didn’t see Rarity though. I looked around, my penis immediately getting erect. Fluttershy and Pinkie were curvaceous, while Applejack was tall and-dare I say it-like that Wonder Woman in those humans comics Shepherd had given me. Tall and curvy but muscular, and her breasts were large. Starlight’s chest was smaller, but only slightly smaller than the others. Her butt was amazing though, just as amazing as when she was a pony.

Being so short as a dragon, I got to see mare genitals and teats, and let me tell you-They did look pretty nice on the chest. It did draw more attention to them. Fluttershy was trying to cover up her large breasts, while Pinkie Pie was already bouncing around.

“WHEE! WHEE! I’m so fluffy and squishy and-” Her large breasts slapped against her chest, and she winced. “OW! That’s going to take some getting used to…”

Rainbow Dash… Was sleek and slim, and running her hands over her flat, muscled belly. Then, back up to her rather small boobs. She was grinning.

“Haha! You’re all fat! Look at me! Sleek as a falcon!”

“Actually,” Twilight stated, tall, curvy, and busty, “most human males tend to like bigger breasts and bottoms. Much like stallions.”

Dash glared. “Not every stallion!”

Twilight was actually looking a bit smug, hefting her large breasts up under her crossed arms. “I’m pretty sure Shepherd will like them,” she said. Dash glared more angrily.

“Twilight!” She growled.

Twilight blinked a few times. She shook her head.

“Sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” she said. Dash huffed.

“I bet if you were still a unicorn, you’d just be some flat homely human,” Dash said mockingly.

“Now, now everypony, let’s not be bitter and spiteful,” Applejack said, happily juggling some apples. “Hot diggity! Look at me go! These hands sure are somethin’ else!”

I looked over at Twilight. “Where’s Rarity?” I asked.

“She went to get some tools for her clothing,” Twilight said. She gave me a warm smile. “So! Ready to give it a try too, Spike?”

I grinned, and posed a little in front of Twilight. I gave Twilight a dazzling smile, and held my hands out.

“Come on Twilight! Hit me!” I said. I coughed. “I mean, since you’re all doing it anyway and I can better relate to you all.”

“So selfless,” Starlight deadpanned.

“Go for it Spike! Go go go!” Pinkie Pie cried.

Twilight closed her eyes, and her horn glowed brightly. Plasma arced from the tip, and I found my mind reviewing every time one of Twilight’s spells had gone terribly, horribly wrong.

Maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe it wasn’t too late to change my mind.

The magic struck me right in the chest, and my entire body began to expand, contract and twist. It wasn’t painful, but it was seriously weird. My tail vanished, my skin softened, and hair sprouted where my cranial ridges used to be.

The light faded away, and I got a lot of gasps. I held up my hands in front of my eyes. They were smooth, but strong looking. I looked over at Pinkie Pie, who helpfully held up a mirror. I blinked several times, and studied my new form. I stood up… And up, and up!

I was tall-Maybe not as tall as Shepherd, but still tall. I also had muscles-Very sleek and strong. Shepherd was bigger in the shoulders, and I was a lot less bulky. I ran my new hands over my forearms. Wow, they were so smooth!

I stood up and turned around with a grin.

“Thanks Twilight! I feel amazing-!”

Then I felt my penis flap around against my hips, and winced. It was very sensitive. Geez, no wonder Shepherd wears clothes all the time.

I heard several comments of “Oh my.” I felt the eyes of every mare turned female human on me, and I blushed hard. They all looked… Hungry for some reason. Applejack chuckled, shaking her head.

“Sweet Apple Acres Spike, yer a biggun, Almost as big as Mac!” She said.

I blushed hard. That was very flattering.

“Depends on where you’re looking Darling,” said the voice of my angel. My eyes widened.

Rarity! I had only just arrived and I didn’t see Rarity as a human yet! I looked over and I was unable to speak. All the girls I knew were pretty and seeing them as humans hadn’t changed that. I knew Rarity as the most gorgeous pony of all would be easily as beautiful as a human.

I was not prepared.

She was a goddess, I had no other way to describe her. She wasn’t as large as Fluttershy, Pinkie, or Twilight in the chest, but her breasts were perfectly shaped. Her bottom was heart shaped, her hips were smooth and perfectly sculpted. Her legs were long and elegant. She was fit, but not overly muscled. The lingerie she wore was a dark, wine-like red, lacy and silky.

Somehow, having most of her beautiful body concealed made her even hotter. I was speechless, and my dick was so hard you could break glass with it.

I heard snickering. I'm not sure who... Probably Rainbow Dash. My goddess approached me and placed a hand on my chest. My surprisingly broad chest. She ran her hand along it and began to circle me with a smile I had never seen on her face. It made me nervous and excited.

“Very nice Spike,” she bit her lip. “So very... Manly.”

I heard that cackling laugh. Rainbow Dash was now lounging on a cloud she had dragged into the castle.

“You gonna give us a show here Rares?”

“I would never be so gauche Rainbow, at least not till we’ve been together awhile,” Rarity huffed. She looked over at Twilight.

“Twilight?” She asked. Twilight raised her eyebrows.

“Yes?” She responded.

“I do believe I am calling in that marker from way back,” Rarity said gently.

Twilight had a confused look for a moment.

“What marker?” Then it cleared and she had an embarrassed one instead

“That… Yeah I should have figured that,” she murmured. She shook her head. “Well, I guess I can get data points from the rest of the girls. As well as unique information from you.”

“Oh, I’ll be very thorough,” Rarity purred. I gulped slowly with my unfamiliar throat.

“What are you two talking about?”

The other mares had knowing looks. Even Fluttershy, though hers was still very shy.

“Oh nothing my precious scales. Well not scales at the moment. In any case Spike would you please accompany me back to the Boutique?” She was eyeing me again like I would a nice emerald or ruby, and her looks seemed to linger around my groin. My dick twitched, like an eager Winona being teased with the prospect of chasing a tennis ball.

“Hey,” Starlight said, her eyes narrowed, “hang on a second here-”

Rarity shot her a glare that could have melted down a block of iron.

“I. Called. Dibs,” she hissed. Starlight sighed, and crossed her arms over her chest.

I couldn’t help myself. I blurted the question “You called dibs?”

Twilight spoke up.

“Well, I owed her an important favor and she asked me not to interfere when you were of age.” She smiled. “Which you are, technically.”

“Of age?” I managed faintly. “For what?”

No, she couldn’t possibly mean-

“Oh that as well Darling,” Rarity stated, “but there are a few other mares who have considered Spike prime dating material.” She eyed Starlight knowingly, while Twilight looked confused.

“Like who?”

Starlight whistled innocently. Pinkie Pie grinned. Twilight stared at her in shock.

“STARLIGHT!”

“What?!” Starlight cried. “It’s not just me!”

“Not just… Her?” I muttered. I was feeling faint. Was this how Shepherd felt at romantic discussions? No wonder he was always so out of it!

“Oh Berry Punch told me once over a glass of wine she’s considered him,” Rarity said, cool but with an edge of ice in her tone, “Minuette I’ve seen watching him walk by and I once heard Marigold talking to her sisters about him’

This really caught me off guard. Then AJ really shocked me.

“Shucks Twilight, ah have to admit Andrew and Spike are pretty much my short list on Stallions around here,” the farm pony admitted, a light blush on her cheeks. I gaped a bit as Dash floated over on her cloud. She snorted at Applejack.”

“That's cuz yer super picky! I mean I at least have Big Mac on that list too!”

“Like I’d have my brother on mah list Dash?” Applejack shouted angrily. Dash snorted.

“What mare doesn’t?”

Many guilty looks appeared on everypony’s faces. Including Twilight’s.

“I think we should go,” I stated. Rarity smiled at me, a predatory expression that again made my genitals twitch eagerly.

“Twilight can you be a dear and teleport us back to my boutique? I’m not feeling especially patient right now,” she said. Twilight sighed, and then shrugged.

“Oh, all right,” she said. Her horn lit up with powerful magic once again.

Now normally I hate it when Twilight teleports me. Even in a human body, it still left me feeling a little dizzy.

This time though? As we appeared right in Rarity’s bedroom, where my beautiful crush gave me a grin before pouncing me right onto her bed? I found that I didn’t really care.

••••••••••

Author's Notes:

Just a brief pause before more smut comes along. And throwing a bone to Spike. Who really is a harem lead in his own right.