Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vPunSOrAbOXXA-q4keTT1pjOQMenqGpDWWtn7TtXQ0k/edit

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As soon as we touched down, I felt myself flood with life again. My hair once more merged into flowers, despite the heavy rain pouring down on us. The wall looked very slick and several areas were covered with branches or entire segments of trees. The guards were clearing them as they patrolled.

“Welcome to the fort,” one of the griffins said. It looked like their group was assigned to guard the teleportation circle.

“Any change in situation?” I asked.

“Luna took all the pegasi a few minutes ago. They’re wrangling up the flying platforms. As you can see, it appears to be going decently.”

At the moment, they had four of them clumped together and were chasing down two more. “Good. Where are the water elementals?”

“In the water,” he replied. “Will our princess be joining us?”

“Maybe later. I didn’t see any reason to drag her into this mess.”

“Understandable,” he said with a nod. “In the absence of our captain, we are at your disposal.”

“Twilight, do you think you could help Luna?”

“I could probably start drawing the circle on the platforms while she wrangles them.”

“Can you guys ferry Twilight up to the platforms?” I asked. “She can keep the rain off you on the way there.”

“I can teleport,” she said.

“It would be no issue for one of us,” the griffin said.

“You need to save your magic, Twilight. Let one of these handsome fellows fly you up.” Plus, they need to feel useful.

“...Very well.”

The griffin who spoke up nodded at one of his fellows. The dude took off and swept Twilight up, flying her out of our little bubble.

“So where’s Taya?” I asked.

“Patrolling the wall with some of the pony guards and Kat. Speaking of, Kat seemed very… unhappy when she arrived.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine. Do you have any way of contacting the waters?”

“We don’t,” he said.

“There is no need,” Brook said. “We are here.”

I turned around and sure enough, there they were. I crossed my arms. “What did you do to my fort?”

“We gave it a moat, my lady,” she replied, her eyes turning pink. “As always, we are happy to be of assistance.”

“Your moat is getting a little too full. I want a fort, not an underwater maze.”

“We’re… working on that part.”

“Work faster. Where the hell is Char? Why isn’t he helping you?”

“Because it’s raining,” Flo replied.

“So? Stand under a fucking shield or cover him with your sexy, nubile bodies. The sooner we get this shit fixed, the sooner we can rescue your sister and his brother.” You know, assuming the traps didn’t do us a favor.

“We would be happy to share a shield with you and our brother,” Brook said, grinning. “Shall we go seek him together?”

“Who said I needed to be involved?” I asked. “I can’t help.”

“Oh, but we need to stay in contact with you, don’t we?” she asked. “That is, unless you want to become a host?”

“The only reason I’d have to contact you is if the rain stopped, because we’re stonewalled until it does. That is your only priority. When it stops, you’ll either find me here or have contact with a host who’s with me.”

Brook was silent for a few long moments before her eyes shifted to blue and she bowed. “As you wish.” Just like that, all of them darted off to the right, heading down the wall to one of the far shields.

“Well done, my lady,” one of the griffins said. “That was impressive!”

I turned back to them and let my arms drop. Apparently the guy who dropped Twilight off returned while the elementals had my attention. “Thanks, I have practice. So, what are your thoughts on this place?”

“I always thought it was a myth,” the leader said. “Something veteran adventurers tell scary stories about. I never thought it was real, much less that I'd get to go there! This kind of trip is exactly why we joined the special forces, ma’am.”

“I kinda had a feeling you’d say something like that. Forgive me if I seem underwhelmed. I’ve seen all kinds of things. Most of them were horrific. Some of them were alright.”

“So we’ve heard. Yesterday, Luna mentioned something about dragons…?”

“Oh yeah, that shit was completely traumatizing. I almost got turned into a breeding sow for a dragon cult by Bahamut. After that, Pyrite himself tortured me. Then his mother kidnapped me. That giantess was completely batshit crazy with a heart five sizes too big. And when I was finally rescued from her, I was told I was to be executed immediately. I only just narrowly survived.”

“I… I see. I’m… sorry for making you—”

“Nah, it’s cool. I’m legit dead inside now. Taya’s really the only thing keeping me going at this point.” None of them seemed to have a reply for that. “Sorry, I always forget I’m not supposed to tell people these things. So, somebody name a non-griffin royal.”

“...Princess Cadance?” one said, making it sound like a question.

“Didn’t technically nail her, but she did watch as her husband fucked me.” Their mouths dropped. “Name another.”

“CEO Zedog!”

“Nope, haven’t met him yet. Give it time, though. One of the dogs put a bounty on me, so I gotta go take care of that eventually.”

“Princess Celestia!”

“Oh yeah, so many times. She’s a complete animal, if you know what I mean. And a totally submissive slut. One time, I had her turn me invisible so I could fuck her in secret at the Grand whatever Gala.”

“That’s too much,” one of them said, shaking his head. “Come on, at the Gala?!”

“It was part of a deal,” I said with a shrug. “I agreed to do something miserable for her and in return, I got to fuck her at the Gala. She loved it, even if she pretended otherwise.”

“What did she get?”

“Nuh uh. Next royal?”

“Ex-Princess Luna?”

One of the other guards elbowed him. “Shush! Queen Chrysalis?”

“Oh yeah. She’s a lot of fun.” They all shivered. “Don’t judge me.”

“No judgment, just… a bug?”

“They’re squishy where it counts. And trust me when I say that as a lady, size does matter. You know, sometimes. And those bugs can pack more than you can, if they want to!”

“You’re just a wonderful little fountain of knowledge, aren’t you?” one of them said with a grin.

“I do so adore a man with compliments,” I said with a smile. “So, next royal?”

“...Brook?”

“Nope.”

“King Aspen?”

“Haven’t met him yet. Although now that I think about it, that’s just about all the royals I’ve actually slept with. Though I have had a few memorable encounters with noblewomen…”

“Anything scandalous?” one asked.

“I try to be discreet.”

“...You just told us you slept with several major rulers,” one slowly said.

“As in, I try not to do anything that would get noticed by the major public. I mean, who the fuck is gonna believe you guys? You’re gonna come back with hundreds of wild, nonsensical tales. The instant you tell anyone I fucked Celestia at the Gala, they’re gonna laugh in your face and nothing you say will make them stop.”

“You’re pure evil!” one shouted.

“Duh. Fucking look at me, dude? How close am I to looking like a demon? I gotta act the part too, right?”

“...So how can we trust that anything you say is true?”

“Just because I’m evil doesn’t mean I’m a liar. I’m over that now, for the most part.”

“Favorite fetish?” one immediately asked.

“Go fuck yourself.” They all sighed in disappointment. “Just because I don’t lie doesn’t mean I’m obligated to tell you the truth. You’d be surprised how many ways you can dissuade or sway people without actually lying. Ask me a yes or no question.”

All of them very suddenly looked quite intense. “Have you slept with Princess Gilda?”

“How dare you even ask me that?” I replied. “I swore an oath to her father that if I ever slept with her, it would be on our wedding night. I have been nothing but a friend to her the entire time I have known her.”

“...As you said, it’s a very interesting way to get around answering a question,” he replied. “So, yes or no?”

“You have my answer,” I said. “Make of it what you will.”

“You know, it seems to me that someone interested in actin’ like a demon would be quite interested in stealing a princess’s honor… And breaking an oath.”

One of the other ones continued, “Especially a demon who enjoys collecting royals as bedfellows.”

The third one added, “You notice how she started with a non-griffin royal?”

“You wanna know why I added that?” I asked with a smirk.

“By all means, please,” the final one said.

“Take a guess about what the crown prince’s favorite fetish is.”

“He’s married!”

“And after he was through in my room, he asked if I would consider becoming a royal consort.” Their mouths dropped. “Why would I go for Princess Gilda when her much sexier older brother had his talons all over me?”

A few of them cleared their throats and looked away. The leader rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah… sorry for the uh… suspicion, my lady…”

“I forgive you this time, but don’t let it happen again. Have faith in your princess. She isn’t some trollop like me. Your prince, on the other hand, has excellent taste in women.”

“You know, some of us have… excellent taste in women as well…”

“Play your cards right, maybe you’ll have a few more wild stories to tell. You gotta earn it, though.”

“Did Prince Hooters?” one asked with a smirk.

“Who could turn down royalty? It’s an honor! Plus, I kinda have a collection going…”

One of them spit on the ground. “Buckin’ royal blood! They get all the perks!”

“That’s why humans killed most of ours,” I said. “Instead, we picked the route of money as power, so the more rich you were, the more you could do and get away with. When I appeared here, the rich owned pretty much the entire planet.”

“...Is that supposed to be better?” one asked.

“It was supposed to be, but that ended up kinda falling through.”

Before we could continue dithering on, Watcher and Zecora teleported in with a crack of thunder. “I see it’s still raining,” Watcher immediately said.

“They’re working on it. Luna and Twilight are trying to get a shield up. How much of the fort do you think is underwater now?”

We all walked over to the edge of the wall. The water hadn’t quite gotten up to the ballista holes yet. “We sealed the entrance off when the rain started getting bad,” Watcher said. “So until it gets to the holes in the wall, it should be mostly fine. That does mean Mist and Blaze can’t escape, but they should be safe sitting by the entrance until it’s all over.”

“I don’t think the two of them could ever be safe when they’re side by side. Something would inevitably happen.”

“Maybe they can use that time to bond,” Zecora sarcastically replied. “The more I think about what Twilight and Flo said, the more I am certain that nothing is meant to live that long, not even machines. Call it a malfunction, call it trauma… Nothing that powerful should exist for so long with so many mental problems. They cause… tears in the fabric of society when they rear their ugly heads. I worry about how much of what we know will be undone by the presence of these ancient sleeping gods.”

“...That are listening to your every word,” Brook said through Watcher.

“Then heed my warning, Brook,” Zecora said. “Your presence in this world will cause ripples. Take care that they do not tarnish things irreparably. It could be as easy as one of your sisters not taking no for an answer.”

“No water would do such a thing,” Brook said.

“Not even Mist?” Watcher asked.

“She would harm no mortal,” Brook said. “Though I have the feeling that if she could do so to Blaze, he would already be her lover.”

“You sure do trust your sisters,” I said.

“Of course I do, Nav. I would swear by every one of them.” Hurray for dramatic irony.

“So what is the plan for now?” Zecora asked. “With the elementals focusing on fixing the rain, we would be without them should we enter the fort.”

“Which isn’t necessarily bad,” I said. “I feel like we’d have a pretty decent chance with just us, no elementals. The waters already scouted it out and dealt with the stuff they can handle. We need to go in and clear out the magical traps and hopefully find out what happened to Mist and Blaze. I’m thinking that will be next, after Luna gets the shield up. With luck, that shield will spread past the walls so we can keep the fort from flooding.”

“If we run into another mass of nanites, we might have issues,” Watcher said.

“We had issues with the last batch. With all the unicorns we have, we should be able to teleport everyone out. I’d rather lure something like that out in the open than try to fight it in there.”

“Then I’m all for it,” he said with a nod. “How many squads do you want?”

“Just Sentinel’s crew. We won’t have much room to fight, if it comes to that, and I’d rather not risk too many people against mostly traps. With her squad, Taya, Kat, Twilight, and Luna, we should be fine.”

“Plus, we need to keep the outside secure,” Watcher said with a nod. “Want me to send up a flare for her?”

“It’ll probably take her a while to walk back, so sure. With luck, Luna and Twilight will be done by the time she arrives.”

His horn lit up and a blue flare shot into the sky. “What about Taya and Kat?”

“Hold off. I can almost guarantee she’ll teleport back when called.”

“That eager to please?” he asked.

“That eager to show off. How much you wanna bet she forgets the others?”

Zecora snorted. “I just realized how I can make potions even more bitter!”

“No more bellyrubs for you!” That actually made her look conflicted for a moment.

It was long enough for us to be covered in a huge shield that just barely cleared the walls. We all looked up to the center of the fort, where all the pegasi were hovering around the large floating platform. Luna and Twilight suddenly appeared next to us with a flash.

“It is done,” Luna said, bowing.

“Good job. Watcher, call my little filly for me, please.”

“Of course.” His horn lit up and a green flare shot out. Taya and Kat instantly teleported back. Kat claimed one of my arms and Taya claimed one of my legs.

I gave my good filly her well-deserved ear scritches, making her sigh in delight. When I looked over at the griffins, they all had unreadable expressions. “I got a job for you.”

“We’re here to serve,” their leader said.

“Scout around the wall. Tell the pony squads if there are any places the shield doesn’t cover. Ask the unicorns to start evaporating all water inside the shield.”

“As you command,” the griffin replied with a deep bow. The others followed suit. When they got tired of it, they all shot into the sky, darting off in different directions.

“What’s with all the bowing?” I asked. “Haven’t I specifically requested the opposite of that?”

“Stop being such a good noble lady, then,” Luna said.

“I’m a completely wanton slut. I’m also probably traumatized past the point of no return. I guess I’m kinda decent at strategic decisions and occasionally getting shit done, but I think I pretty much fail at all other aspects of nobility.”

“All that matters is that you’re working to fix it!” Kat said.

“I’m not. I’m reveling in it. Being almost completely apathetic is great. The world starts looking really interesting when you realize that everything is just a means to an end, one way or another.”

“...I don’t understand,” Twilight slowly said.

“The world is full of problems, Twilight,” I said. “People keep looking at those problems the same way, using the same old tired moralistic solutions. If you’re willing to use things others find unholy for good and you’re willing to step aside when the time is right, then you might just be willing to truly change things.”

“Alright, I still don’t understand,” she said.

“That’s because I’m bad at explaining things. But don’t worry, I’ll show you in time. I’ll show you all!”

“It’ll be so much fun,” my daughter said with a giggle.

“I, too, shall enjoy being an instrument of your dark ministrations,” Luna calmly said.

“I’ll always happily serve you, even after you inevitably go mad with power,” Kat sighed with glee, cuddling up closer to me.

“If I can survive under Celestia, I can survive under anyone. At least you don’t make ponies who ask the wrong questions disappear. You know, yet.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys,” I said. “But seriously, all the bowing and shit is unnecessary. You’re just hurting your backs.”

“It is required of us as vassals and servants,” Luna replied. “It is a fact of your new life, a required condition. You cannot escape it.”

My arms crossed and I smirked. “I order you all to stop bowing to me.”

Zecora started chuckling. “Oooh, she got you there!”

“You cannot order us to break an oath we made with you,” Luna said. “We swore to be in obeisance to you always. Bowing is part of how we show our submission.”

“I consider it to be degrading. If you must do something, find a new way to show your submission. I’m sure you’ll figure something out, but the bowing is stopping. At the very least, for my vassals.”

“You are, as you said, a wanton slut,” Luna slowly said. “Would you like us to begin accommodating your desires?”

“I have more than enough bedfellows. You’ll have to figure something else out.”

“I have a feeling this is only inviting trouble, Nav,” Twilight said. “Remember just who your followers are.”

“You mean very loyal and not looking to piss me off just for the fun of it?” I asked. “Because if I know my vassals, their first instinct would be to make me regret that decision. Thankfully, they’re intelligent enough to know that keeping their lady happy is considerably more important.”

“So what’s our next step?” Watcher finally asked.

“Clear all the water on this side of the shield,” I said. “Then we enter the fort. The waters will continue working on the rain problem out here.”

“The shield will hold unless it is completely covered in water,” Luna said. “We will need an exit plan, in that case.”

“Teleport out or hide under a water elemental,” Twilight said. “A shield wouldn’t protect you from that much water. You’d be crushed instantly. It would also likely destroy the bunker.”

“I can’t help but wonder if the elementals did this on purpose,” Luna said. “After all, we did not need their assistance much. They have not had a chance to prove themselves fully yet.”

“Doesn’t matter, because I’m still gonna be pissed that they caused this to begin with. Fixing their own mess means most of the anger is abated, but this is still a pretty major setback.”

“It’s not too late to take a more… proactive approach,” Luna said. “Grant me use of the pegasi and the griffins. We will bust this weather.”

“If it’s still raining when we get out of the fort, that’ll be our next step,” I said. “For now, to be honest, I’d rather go into the fort without the waters.”

“Why?” Cascade and Brook both immediately asked.

“Because I don’t want any of you to do anything stupid in our attempt to rescue your sister. I also don’t want too many numbers. Like I said earlier, you guys have already scouted it out and handled what you could while avoiding the rest. That leaves the magical traps, which none of you are useful against.”

“I wonder what Flo would say about that…” Brook idly mused.

“Probably something about how it’s my choice,” I said. “Contrary to popular opinion, a host, especially an ex-host, doesn’t have to share all the opinions of their elemental.”

“She called you an idiot,” Cascade said.

“Tell her to go fuck herself.”

“She said she’s going with you and that’s final.”

“What?”

Brook giggled, which sounded weird coming from Watcher. “She’s already on her way.”

“That machine is quite attached to you,” Luna said. “Would you like us to remove it?”

“No. Flo is pure.”

Aqua snorted. “Perhaps it would be best to remove that hussy from your life. I can’t have her trying to trick her way back into you!”

“I thought you were wary of her,” Twilight said.

“I reserve the right to change my mind. Start clearing the water. The sooner it’s out of the way, the sooner we can move in.”

“I could do it a lot better with the amulet, mommy!” Taya said.

I pulled it out and tossed it over. “Don’t overdo it. If things go well inside, we’ll continue into the bunker today.”

“I would never do that, mommy!” she replied with a giggle. All the unicorns in the group walked over to the side and started evaporating water for us.

“Did you speak to Gilda before leaving?” I asked Zecora.

“She asked to join us once the fort is safe. I assume she wants to look over the relics.”

“Then we’ll send for her when we’re done. Have you seen any other spirits?”

“Yes,” she said with a nod. “This crater is home to thousands of restless spirits, all with erased purposes, all cut down to unknown ends. I feel that unlocking the secrets of the bunker will put many of them at ease.”

“And have you seen any sign that the bunker itself is haunted?”

The long silence that followed did not make me feel comfortable. When she finally spoke, she sounded faraway. “There is a reason the restless spirits haunt the fort, not the bunker. I can hear the ancient spirits whispering, even from here...”

“Do they sound hostile? I’ve been through hell once. I don’t particularly want to try my luck again.”

“I believe it best if Luna and I do some preliminary scouting,” Zecora said. “All I hear is whispers. But I can feel the spiritual presence from here. Hostile or not, there are many lost souls within.”

“And you didn’t have us then,” Kat said, wrapping her tail around mine. “We would never let anything happen to you, my lady!”

“Good. If it’s anything like last time, I’ll need as many scapegoats as possible. All of the things I fought could be killed, at least temporarily, by my sword. I assume magic would also work.”

“I need an enchanted weapon,” Kat sighed.

“What about that cursed dagger?” I asked. “You still have that thing lying around, Zecora?”

“I do,” Zecora said. “I have developed a more effective countermeasure for it, too.”

“Then give it to Kat. My cursed little kitty should have a cursed little dagger to match!”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Zecora asked. “That dagger is dark and cruel.”

“Just like me,” Kat said, purring. “It truly was made for my paw!”

“Miguel also likely got that blade from Discord,” Zecora said. “We’ve already seen at least two of his curses. Do you want to risk more?”

“I will take any risk in my lady’s service,” Kat said. “I fear no curse. Should it happen, I shall find some way to turn it to my advantage, to better serve my owner.”

“This is why you’re my favorite,” I said. She sighed in delight and snuggled up against me.

“How many females do you tell that to?” Zecora asked.

“None of your damn business, that’s how many.”

“We all know being Navi’s favorite is only temporary,” Kat said. “That’s why we cherish it while we can! When she grows bored with me, I’ll fall from her grace until I win my way back.”

“And what does being favorite grant you?” Zecora asked.

“Praise, cuddles, more attention, and rewards like cursed daggers!”

“My favorite wouldn’t make nasty potions and tonics for me,” I said.

“Your favorite is happy to do any little thing to please her lady,” Kat purred, finally hugging me tightly.

“It doesn’t actually require that,” I hastily said. “Kat has many talents. It would be a shame not to put some to use…”

“You might be surprised at some of my talents, my lady,” Zecora said. “One might say I… have friends on the other side.”

“Spooky.” Before we could continue, I got blindsided by a blob of water that resolved into a bright pink Flo hugging me. Kat pulled away with a hiss.

“I thought you could use your favorite elemental around,” Flo sweetly said.

“I certainly won’t say no,” I replied. “We might need you to keep Mist away from Blaze.”

“Now back away from our lady,” Luna said from behind me. I sighed.

“I’m not done hugging her,” Flo said. “I will let go when I am ready.”

“Stop fighting for attention,” I said. “You’re not in high school anymore.”

“I am protecting you,” Luna replied, stomping a hoof.

“And I am merely hugging my dear friend,” Flo replied, beginning to braid my hair.

“Is the water clear yet?” I asked.

“...It is not,” Luna replied.

“So how much longer do you want to be standing out here?” I asked.

She walked back to the other side and started evaporating water without a word.

“...Are you sure that it is wise to let it so near your head?” Zecora asked.

“Of course it’s wise. It feels super relaxing. It’s the perfect way to prelude plundering a dungeon.”

“If we have time, I would be happy to do the same for either of you,” Flo said, bowing her head toward them.

“I believe I know a way to help the unicorns,” Zecora said. “I will go join them.” She walked off, rooting in a bag with one of her hooves.

“It seems the others truly distrust us,” Flo sighed, finally turning blue.

“The knowledge that you could do anything to us is scary,” I said. “Especially after seeing what Mist did to Blaze.”

“...There are others that worry me as well,” Flo whispered.

“It troubles me to know how deep the mistrust is among sisters,” Kat said.

“It’s for the best that few know,” Flo said. “You see how they treat us now. We’re one big incident away from being pariahs.”

“Then you should take care that such an event not happen,” I coldly said.

“It is beyond me to police all my sisters,” Flo said. “If it were up to me, I would recommend having Brook check everybody. She cannot lie to you and could tell you if someone was infected. That would alleviate some of the tension.”

“That would be unethical,” Cascade said. “We cannot invade others like that!”

“I’m inclined to agree,” I said, though I hated myself for it. “You can’t go around forcing yourself on everyone. That would be wrong.” You hear that, bitch?

“I didn’t take everyone,” Aqua said. “Just Discord’s little puppets!”

“...As you say,” Flo sighed. “It would be wrong to do that to any. And I am sorry for misleading you at the beginning, Nav. I saw a glimmer of hope for the first time in I still don’t know how long. I took it, even though it was wrong.”

“I understand, Flo. I know you are more than machines. You can make mistakes. You can change. It’s not always for the better, but it’s also not always for the worst.”

“...Indeed. I have behaved poorly in the past. That will change, going forward. I shall always be your loyal servant.”

“Cool beans.”

She finally finished braiding my hair and tucked it into my cloak. When it was secure, she pulled back, booped me, and then bowed. “Cool beans to you as well, Nav.”

“That’s a good way of handling her bullshit,” Sentinel said as she walked up. “Throw it right back in her face!”

“Do it,” I said. “I don’t care. It’ll catch on, even if you mock it. It’s memetic, I promise.”

“So what are you shirking on now?” Sentinel asked.

“I am waiting for the unicorns to clear the water so we can enter the fort. How did things look on the way here?”

“We dried as we went. Thankfully, there wasn’t much water. There’s barely any room between the wall and in some cases, none at all. This was one of the exceptions.”

“Then we’ll continue around toward the gate once we’re done here. When we get there, we’ll clear as much as we have to in order to get inside.”

“With your permission, my squad will continue forward and begin there,” Sentinel said. “With luck, we should be about done by the time you arrive. With you, it’ll just be throwing a match into a pool of lava.”

“As you wish. Be careful around the gates.”

“We will. No one is in a hurry to get mind-jacked.” All three of them bowed for a moment before continuing on their way.

“You aren’t gonna get mad at them for bowing?” Kat asked.

“I said no more from my vassals. I understand I can’t change it for everyone. But to me, you are above everyone else but Taya. You swore to serve me and only me. As long as you remember that in all things you do, you have no need to ever bow to me.”

“...You honor us,” Kat said.

“Because I expect greatness from you,” I said. “I reward results. There will come a time soon when power is at our fingertips, Kat. Remember then that you are due your share.”

“All I need is to serve,” Kat replied, placing a paw over my heart.

“Yeah, and there will be things we can do to help you serve better. Things like minions, hirelings, or maybe wards. Or things like armor and weapons. Maybe a personal airship for your own secret tasks.”

“...I will not deny that these things would be useful. However, my place is by your side. I will leave if you command, but I yearn to keep you safe!”

“Then who will assassinate my enemies?” I asked. “Do you expect me to ask Luna?”

“Of course not! Forgive my insolence, my lady… I live to serve at your whim.”

“Though I do like having you close. It has… advantages.”

“So blatant,” Flo sighed, shaking her head. “You really should restrain yourself, Nav.”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna. I have to do it all the time in Canterlot. Why should I force myself to do it here, too?”

“Practice,” Kat said. “You’re really not very good at it. You should practice decorum at all times so you can improve. You must be the absolute perfect queen!”

“That’s boring,” Taya said. “Don’t ask mommy to kill herself trying to be something she’s not!”

“And don’t presume to tell me what to do,” I said. “You serve me, remember?”

“And I reserve the right to advise you. My advice is to be the perfect queen.”

“Noted. Now, Taya, are we done here?”

“Yep! We’re ready to move toward the entrance.”

“Good. Amulet?”

She stroked the thing around her neck in thought. “I really like it, mommy. Is it really so bad? Your little filly just wants to love and protect you so much that she’s willing to risk a little corruption!”

“Amulet.”

She ripped it off and threw it at me. “Why, mommy?!”

“Stop being dramatic,” I said as I put the amulet away. “Now go join the others. We’re right behind you.” She huffed and puffed, but finally stomped off, muttering. “Also, temper tantrums are cute, not scary!” Her horn lit up and two magic hands appeared behind her, flipping me off. “I’m so proud…”

And so we walked on, clearing the water as we went. By the time we got to the gate, Sentinel had most of it cleared. We helped finish up and soon enough, we were standing on the warm, baked dirt.

“Shall we open the gates?” Luna asked.

“Do it,” I replied, pulling up my rifle. Her horn lit up and the broken gates slowly started swinging open. Twilight shot a light inside, illuminating the slightly flooded interior. It didn’t look like the water got too far, but there were several large puddles. Blaze and Mist were absent. “Our first priority is finding the two lovebirds,” I said. “Flo, can you track Mist?”

“Yes. She is definitely still alive. Whether or not she is with Blaze, however…”

“Well, it’s a start. Luna, Flo, Kat, on point. Taya, Sentinel, rear guard. Twilight, with me. Keep us shielded.”

Surprisingly, I didn’t get any sass or backtalk. Everyone actually did as I ordered and soon enough, Luna looked back my way. “At your word.”

Twilight’s horn lit up and a nice shield covered us all. “Ready.”

“Shouldn’t you let me use the amulet?” Taya sweetly asked.

I pulled it out and tossed it to Sentinel. “Use it in an emergency.”

“Are… you sure, my lady?” she asked.

“Yes.” My daughter huffed and pouted. “And if push comes to shove, get Taya out.”

“And you, naturally,” Sentinel said with a nod. “I could never abandon my lady on the battlefield. It is my place to die in your place.”

“I’d much rather you live for me than die for me, thank you. Taya doesn’t have a backup yet. I do.”

“What backup?” Twilight immediately asked.

“It’s a tree sister thing. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she sarcastically replied.

“I can place a seed in my belly button and leave it for a full day, then plant it to create a clone tree of myself. If I should ever die, the clone would wake up with all my memories up to the point when I made the seed.”

“Extraordinary!” Luna said. “So that is how she kept coming back!”

“I want one of those seeds,” Twilight said.

“As do I,” Luna replied. “Several. I know multiple places to plant them.”

“The problem is, I need cherry blossom seeds.” They both grunted. “Yeah, not exactly in season right now. I’ve made a single one already, so I’m fine.”

“And you didn’t tell me?!” Twilight demanded, stomping a hoof. “I was worried about you, Nav!”

“And I appreciate that,” I replied, booping her. “It really shows you care. I was planning on telling all of you in time, when I had more seeds. I wanted each of you to plant one and not tell anybody where. That way, I’ll have several backups all over the place. With luck, I can use them to avoid more horrific mutations, and maybe try to fix the ones I already have.”

“I… don’t understand,” Twilight said. “How can you use perfect clones to fix mutations?”

“Start cutting until I get closer to perfect, taking backups as I go,” I replied with a shrug. “Maybe with enough surgery, I’ll finally feel pretty!”

Twilight’s expression shifted a few times before settling on horrified. “W-what?!”

“I’m not living like this forever, Twilight. I’m sick of this dysfunctional body. It’s freakish and horrific and completely uncomfortable. If I cut pieces off, something else will almost definitely grow back. It’ll probably be tree related, but if it somehow manages to be worse, I’ll just reset.”

“You can’t just—”

“You would be surprised what I can and cannot do, my little Twiggles,” I said, booping her again.

“...Don’t make me regret backing you over Celestia,” Twilight quietly said.

“So let’s get this expedition on the road!” I said, pointing forward dramatically. I kinda wish I had a stool to lean on, but it’s probably for the best that I didn’t. Our group finally started moving into the fort.

It was much cooler on the inside. Everybody’s breath started puffing up. “Should I heat the shield?” Twilight asked.

“Not yet,” I replied. “The chill will keep us alert for a little while. And if we have to fight, we don’t want it to be too warm.”

“So who wants to place bets?” Kat asked. “About whether we’ll find the elementals or not.”

“Mist is still alive,” Flo said. “I will try my best to guide us to her. She is not moving, so it should be easy. I’m hoping she found Blaze.”

“That might not be a good thing. And if she’s not moving, she might be trapped,” I said. “We should proceed with caution.”

“Because we weren’t already cautious enough?” Taya asked.

“When your life is at stake, no caution is too much,” I said. “Sentinel, boop her for me.” Sentinel looked at my daughter in distaste. Taya lifted her nose expectedly, beaming. Sentinel sighed and glared at me while booping my daughter. “Thank you.”

“Cease this foolishness,” Luna said. “I have found our first trap.” Her horn lit up and a rune started glowing on the floor before us. “A rune of shattering, activated by touch. After enough of us passed over it, it would shatter, likely leading to a horrid fate at the bottom.”

“Crack it open,” I replied. “I want to know what’s down there.” Kat reached into a bag and pulled out a… stone attached to a rope. “What the fuck is that?”

“Every adventurer’s favorite tool,” she replied. “An all around multitool! Watch.” She gripped the end of the rope and threw the stone out onto the trap. The rune activated and the floor collapsed. Kat yanked the rock back before it could fall too far. “We can use it to activate traps, clobber guards who aren’t paying attention, distract guards with sound, and so much more! The best part is that it’s completely disposable.”

“The ingenuity of the cats never ceases to amaze me,” Luna said. Kat gracefully bowed. Luna and Flo finally walked forward to peer in the abyss.

Flo pulled back and tried to yank Luna away, but she teleported back. When both were clear, a wad of nanites about Flo’s size shot out of the hole and slapped against the shield. “Ice it!” I shouted.

Luna’s horn lit up and a cone of icy chill shot out toward the machine. It slid off to the side and up the wall, then started trying to run. “No you don’t!” Luna stomped down and the swarm yanked off the wall. “Quickly, ice it!” Taya and Sentinel darted forward and started hitting it with more ice. After almost a minute of struggling, the machine finally went still and then froze over.

“Flo, eradicate it.”

“I have another idea,” she replied. “A machine this size would be much more… pliable for my sisters and I. We should give it to them so they can try to revive it and learn from it.”

“Cascade, send a few sisters to come collect this thing, but I want most of you to continue working on this storm.”

“As you command,” Kat said with a bow.

“Shall we press on?” Luna asked.

“No. I’m not leaving this thing behind us unattended. For now, send a light down in the hole to make sure we got all of it, then find a way to cover the hole. If we have to run, I want an easy way out.”

“Understood. Twilight, your assistance?”

The two of them fucked off to work on that. I looked at the frozen nanites, then at Taya. “Take this thing out of the shield and cover it with your own.”

“That seems unnecessary,” Flo said as Taya rushed to obey me.

“Probably. But it’s for the best.” When it was secure, I nodded. “I feel better already.”

“Always happy to obey!” Taya said.

“And you’re always fun to reward,” I said, patting her head. She leaned into it and sighed in delight.

“So remember when you said I could call you on questionable things?” Sentinel asked. Taya and I both just stared at her. “...You know what, never mind.” I went right back to rewarding my pet daughter.

“I’m surprised you didn’t bring Spike and Felix,” Flo said.

“Neither of them have skills that aren’t already covered here,” I said. “Anything Felix can do, Kat can do. Anything Spike can do, Taya or Luna can do. Again, I didn’t want too many numbers.”

“And when you go into the bunker itself?”

“We’ll need too many numbers. That’s the only way we’ll find anything down there. Assuming, of course, enough of it is accessible. It could take us days or weeks, otherwise.”

“Without an accurate map, that’s assuredly true,” Flo said. “That bunker was deceptively large while you were there. I assume some parts of it will be inaccessible and other parts will be uninteresting, but even exploring the important parts will take some time.”

“Even finding them will be hard,” I said. “I’m sure you probably still have the official, public map in your head, but I don’t think most of the interesting stuff was on that map. Even if they were, it’s been so long that everything in that place is probably all messed up.”

“We shall be very thorough,” Flo replied with a nod. “My sisters and I will make finding hidden or lost passages easy. I’m quite interested in what is left of the black market, personally. It was… quite the armory, wasn’t it?”

“It also had a ton of seeds, medical supplies, cybernetics, and illegal technology,” I replied. “That’ll be one of the primary targets.”

“And the main prize?” Luna asked.

“Anonymous’s lab,” I replied. “Another primary target is the vault from the dream machine.”

“Why don’t we use that to scout?” Twilight said.

“I have tried,” Luna said. “The dome was impenetrable. I could not even get through the forest. It is defending itself.”

“Bummer,” I said with a shrug. “So, how’s the bridge coming?”

“Finished,” Luna replied. Her front legs shifted like she was about to bow, but she stopped herself. After a small grunt, she rushed forward to hug me with her wings. “That is how I shall show my obeisance from now on!”

“No it’s not,” I said, backing away. “Try again next time.”

She looked away with a shiver, then whispered, “As you wish…”

“Don’t do this, Luna.”

“...I shall test the bridge, my lady.” She walked off, making her own shield as she went.

“Tell Cascade to hurry up,” I said, turning to Kat.

“She is almost here,” Kat said. “And would like permission to join us. She didn’t think it was fair that only Flo should get to protect her host!”

“Then how are we going to communicate with the others?” I asked.

“...She wants one of us to become a host to the other sisters.”

“Any takers?” I asked. No one said a word. “Cascade will help escort the… prisoner. I’d rather have more of them outside helping fix this rain, anyway.”

“...As you command,” Kat slowly replied, placing a paw over her heart.

A large blob of water finally turned the corner around the gates and darted toward us. When it finally got close, four sisters broke away and bowed. “We are here for the nanites,” Cascade said.

“Taya?” The shield over the mass lifted. The evil nanites instantly shot toward one of the ponies, but Sentinel blocked it with her own shield. Before it could try again, the waters encircled it. “That’s your only live one,” I said. “After this, we smash them.”

“Your terms are accepted,” Cascade replied from the bubble. “But should we crack the nanites and find a way to disarm their network, we ask that you exercise restraint.”

“Agreed, but forgive me if I don’t hold my breath. Get that thing to the others before it escapes.”

“At once,” she softly said. Just like that, the four of them started drifting off.

“See? I told you those things could survive ice over time!”

“That was no mere ice, yesterday,” Sentinel said. “Luna did something very… interesting.” Onyx snorted and muttered something. “Shut it!”

“Whatever. Let’s move forward, same formation.” We shortly caught up to Luna, who fell into line without a word. I wasn’t looking forward to the conversation I knew was coming with her, but boundaries obviously had to be drawn.

Soon enough, we came to a large empty room with paths leading off to the left and the right. “This appears to be a common area,” Luna said, casting her gaze around. “Why would brainwashed, mindless drones need a common room?”

“I don’t think this was a common area,” I said. “There’s nothing here. I think this is where the big blob of nanites was.”

“There don’t appear to be any traps,” Kat said. “Which way is Mist?”

“To the right,” Flo replied.

“And so is Blaze, judging by the fiery footprints,” Sentinel said. They were faint, but they were definitely going right.

“What did the scouts find that way?” I asked.

“More traps and what might have been a lab,” Flo replied. “It goes all the way around the fort. All the rooms are fairly narrow, but long.”

I looked behind us, to the left. “And that way?”

“Housing, we believe. Brook and Aqua believe it is where the guards slept and possibly trained.”

“If there are any holdouts, they’d likely be there,” I said. “I’m hesitant to leave the entrance unguarded.”

“Watcher is moving his command center there,” Kat said. “He’ll meet with the elementals. They’ll keep an eye on it for us.”

“Then we push on,” I said. “To the right. Sentinel, stay vigilant.”

“I earned my nickname for a reason, my lady,” she replied with a bow.

“Good. Taya, keep them safe.”

“Of course, mommy!” One of the guards in Sentinel’s squad snickered. Taya glared at him, but thankfully didn’t pummel the poor guy.

Before we got to the right hall, Kat swung her rock around and flung it through the entrance. It bounced right off and the air shimmered around where it hit.

“Magical barrier,” Luna said.

“Not magical,” Flo said, looking around the wall. “This is technological. Can you not hear the hum of machinery?”

“No, because not all of us are pure,” I said. “Can you deal with it?”

“Perhaps. One moment.” She slithered off to the wall, then began skirting the entrance.

“Say the word and I blast it,” Luna replied.

“I would like this place as intact as possible,” I replied. “Learning how to make something like this would be useful.”

“Perhaps we should have brought the princess after all,” Twilight said. Flo finally started sliding up the wall, still following the entrance.

“No, this is beyond Gilda. She’ll be happy to study it when we’re all safe, but I think she would be more of a hindrance at the moment than a help.”

“I’m surprised you think so little of her,” Luna replied. “After your… proclivities, I thought you would be better disposed.”

“I know what Gilda is… and I know what she is not,” I quietly said. “And I would appreciate you keeping that rumor out of your mouths. The other griffins are suspicious and I don’t want them getting word of it.”

“Then perhaps you should let her spend more time with me,” Twilight said. “After all, I am under no suspicion…”

“All the more time to cuddle with my little filly, I suppose,” I replied with a shrug.

“Or your loving servant,” Kat immediately replied.

“Our lady seems to have no shortage of cuddling partners,” Luna slowly replied.

“I have to find some way to ward off the winter chill,” I said. “All the life leaves my blood. I’ve felt more alive on this trip than I have in months!”

“You certainly look radiant,” Twilight replied. “The flowers suit you!”

“Would you like one?” I asked, lifting up one of the flowers in my hair.

“I would be honored!” she sweetly replied.

I pulled a dagger out and slashed through the stem of the flower. The knife instantly fell from my fingers and I tripped. Twilight caught me and set me down, then floated the cut strand up. It was leaking amber fluid and hurt like a motherfucker! Her horn lit up brighter and the flower floated over.

“Hold still, dear,” she whispered. She lowered her horn against the strand and the flower bound back to it, making me sigh in relief.

“So… not such a good idea, huh?” Taya asked, looking at one of her flowers in wonder.

“No, not so much,” I groaned. That’s all I could say before Twilight kissed me.

When she pulled back, she was blushing. “I’m… sorry, Nav…”

“Don’t worry about it. We didn’t know.” I finally grabbed the knife, pulled myself up, and stretched. “Let’s not do that again, though.”

The shield finally made a loud hum and shimmered again before collapsing with a flash of light. “Convenient timing,” one of the guards muttered.

“Flo’s good like that,” I said. The elemental herself was slithering back toward us, lit up pink.

When she was close, she returned to her normal form. “The barrier is down, my lady. It should not reconnect behind us.”

“We should check the other side,” Sentinel said. “If it’s also blocked, we’ll have to walk all the way back around.”

“Good point. We’ll continue forward. Flo, check the other side and disarm it if it’s guarded. Return to us when you’re done.”

“As you command,” Flo said, bowing her head. She scooted straight toward the other one while we began walking into the tunnel.

We didn’t get very far before Luna stopped. “Another magical trap.” Her horn lit up and a glowing symbol appeared on the ceiling. “Looks like it would freeze whatever goes under it.”

“And a physical trap,” Kat said, pointing at the wall. “The holes are small, but I believe it would shoot darts or spears.”

“A nasty piece of work, overall,” I said. “Take care of it.”

Kat tossed her rock under the rune. Nothing happened. “Heat the rock with magic,” she said.

Luna’s horn lit up and the rock lit up red, making the rope start smoking. Getting covered in a thick layer of frost fixed that, though. Kat tugged the rope back and Luna cleared the ice off.

“Thoughts on the dart trap?” Kat asked.

“Cover the holes?” I asked.

“Our lady always offers such wonderful, inventive solutions,” Luna graciously replied. “One moment.” Her horn lit up and several bricks ripped out of the dungeon wall. She floated them to the holes and then used magic to make some kind of adhesive to attach them. “Allow me to test it.” She clanked into the line of fire with her heavy armor. Nothing happened. After a few seconds, she nodded. “It is clear.”

Flo slid right up behind me and placed her watery hands on my shoulders. “It is finished, Nav,” she warmly said.

“Excellent. Let’s press on.”

We got through three more extremely lethal traps, all fairly easily bypassed. Finally, we beheld another sealed entryway. “How did Blaze and Mist get through these?” Twilight asked.

“It’s possible the walls were activated after they entered,” Flo replied. “It could be why they’re trapped.”

“Then why can we get around them?” Kat asked.

“Because I have more knowledge of human machinery,” Flo said. “I have all the knowledge in Nav’s laptop in my head. I know how to disarm these shields.” To demonstrate, she slid right up to it and started climbing the wall. When she got to a certain point, she flashed and the shield dropped.

“And you thought we didn’t need an elemental,” Cascade smugly said.

“First, need is a strong word. Second, not just any elemental could do this, given that Mist and Blaze are trapped.”

“So what does being pure entail?” Flo asked from next to me. “I’ve done some pretty impure things…”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s check this room.”

“The laboratory,” Luna said as she walked in. “It continues for some way.”

The rest of us followed behind her and finally beheld the long room in earnest. Sure enough, it went as far as we could see. There was all kind of lab shit that I really don’t care enough to list. “Gilda’s gonna have fun in here,” I said.

“You give her all the best presents,” Twilight sighed.

“Hey, you’re free to have fun in here, too. After we clear it. There’s no telling what half of this shit does.”

“And there are traps all over,” Flo said. “Both magical and mundane. We must be careful moving forward.”

“Then let’s get started,” I said. “Three groups. On the left, Luna and Sentinel’s squad. In the middle, Kat and Twilight. On the right, me, Flo, and Taya. Search for traps and disarm them when you find them. Be wary of the lab equipment.” Everyone got back into the new order, spreading out across the room. When we were all positioned, I nodded. “Forward.”

“Mist is still fairly far away,” Flo said as we started moving. “We’ll pass several bends before we get to her.”

“I told that idiot not to go in alone,” I sighed. “And I warned him I would hold it over his head literally forever.”

“Try not to gloat too much,” Flo said, turning light pink. “As amusing as it can be to tweak his pride, I fear he might attack if provoked too far.”

“What a drama queen.”

“Spoken from the lips of the true queen herself,” my daughter sweetly said.

“And if I say it, you know it must be true.”

Kat cleared her throat. “It can be difficult to concentrate on finding traps while there is talking going on.”

“Good thing I have such a skilled team,” I said. I did shut up, though. After all, I very much wanted that skilled team to stay alive.

In lieu of talking, I started looking around. The chances of me spotting a trap were low, but the lab equipment was neat. Most of it seemed to be agriculturally based. A lot of the samples were exotic fruits, things I’ve never seen. If I had to guess, I’d say they were from the forest.

After we had disarmed a few traps, I started looking closer at the notebooks lying around. “What language is that?” Taya asked, looking at the page I was holding.

“English,” I replied. “I can read it perfectly. It’s a note detailing the effects of a fruit made with varying amounts of certain atoms, using the nanomachines to build it perfectly to order. It seems they had everything out there under their control down to the atomic level.”

“Does it say how?” Flo asked, extending to peer over my shoulder.

“No. There wouldn’t be a manual for that. All those things were controlled by the same mind. To be honest, I’m surprised they bothered to keep notes.”

“I have a theory,” Felix suddenly said.

Everybody jumped and turned to him. “Where the fuck did you come from?!” I demanded.

“I followed, my lady,” he replied with a theatrical bow. “If I am to earn an equal share, it is only fair that I do equal work.”

“Flo, give him a cursory one-over. Don’t rape his mind or anything, just check him.”

“As you command.” She scooted on over and poked him in a few key places. When she pulled back, she nodded. “He is clean.”

“Just checking. Tell us this theory of yours.”

“There are legends about this place, my lady,” he said. “Legends that it is a vault that only a single being can open. As the legend goes, the defenders keep several treasures undefended to tempt people in, but going in numbers is deadly. I think these notes are considered treasures. To anyone with a translation spell and a fine enough control of magic, you can make fruits with all kinds of effects!”

“That’s dumb,” Kat said. Several of the others nodded or grunted.

“...So you’re calling me the chosen one?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“You have not yet opened the vault, my lady. Assuming, for that matter, there even is a vault. The place down below is very dangerous.”

“Is it haunted?” I asked. “You’ve been. Surely you would have noticed.”

“I do not believe in ghosts or spirits, my lady.”

“They’re real,” I said. He didn’t look impressed.

“Extremely real,” Luna added. That made him blink.

“And all too happy to kill you,” Twilight said. He flinched back.

“Hold on, I think I know the spell…” Taya muttered. She closed her eyes and her horn lit up, then a light shot over to Felix.

He looked down at himself for a second or two before looking back up at us. His eyes immediately focused on something right over my shoulder. Watching him fall on his ass was surprisingly satisfying. “W-what is that?!”

“That’s the dead Russian bitch who’s haunting me,” I said. “She attached herself to my soulless body after I went through the last human bunker, which was so full of evil ghosts that I almost did not survive the journey.”

“...S-soulless?”

“We’re wasting time,” I said, turning away. “Let’s keep moving. Felix, join Twilight’s group. Help look for traps.”

Kat rankled at the unwanted ‘help’, but thankfully didn’t say anything. Felix shut his trap and joined the line. They all continued hunting for traps, while I started falling behind, looking further into the research. Eventually, we went from agricultural to geological. There were all kinds of rocks, ores, and gems on tables and in cabinets.

“See, this is why people come here,” Felix said. “I mean, that diamond is the size of my paw!”

Not only was it the size of his paw, but it was bright pink and cut into a heart shape. Creepily enough, it was shaped like an actual pony heart, not the Valentines heart. “We’re going to have a fun time looting the hell out of this place,” I said. “And if we can get the nanomachines to make more of these gems, we can basically corner the gem market.”

“We must be wary not to flood it,” Luna said. “If we drop too many goods too quickly, we will saturate the market and make all of the gems worthless.”

“Ah, the DeBeers approach,” I replied with a nod. “Classic.”

“What does that mean?” Twilight asked.

“A couple of decades before I was born, a company called DeBeers was formed. They were a diamond company, but weren’t selling that many. So they used a massive ad campaign to invent the concept of using a diamond to propose for marriage. Over the course of about ten years, they developed an entire cultural icon from scratch. After that, they started buying out other diamond companies and stockpiling massive, massive amounts of diamonds in warehouses to artificially inflate their value by releasing only a few every year. Since they basically had a monopoly on the market, they could set whatever price they wanted.”

“The more I learn of your world, the more I understand how you were so jaded and broken when you arrived in Equestria,” Luna softly said.

“This world hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park,” I sarcastically replied.

“...I suppose not.” That shut everyone up again for a few minutes, until Luna stopped and stared at one of the tables. “Those are blood gems of immense power.”

“How could you tell?” Felix asked.

“Look closely. You can see the small swirls.” Sure enough, when I got close enough, I could see what looked like swirling mists in the gems. “If you have been around them enough, you can also feel them. It requires using many, though.”

“Flo, check them for traps.”

She slid on over and ran her wet fingers over all of them. “As far as I can tell, they’re clear.”

“Cascade, tell Watcher to prepare a loot area,” I said. “We’re going to start teleporting out very high-value goods, in case we have to abandon the fort due to rain.”

“It is done,” Kat said with a nod. “He’s having his troops clear out a small area now. It should be ready in moments.”

“I request first choice on the blood gems,” Luna said.

“You spot something, you get first pick. This goes for high-value stuff only, like blood gems. It’s only fair to give everyone else a chance on the rest.”

“Fair as always,” she replied with a nod. Her horn lit up and one of the gems floated over, a dark red diamond. It flew up to her horn and flashed. When the light faded, it had broken into several smaller chunks, all evenly sized. Each chunk flew into a small slot on her armor, then locked into place. All the magical runes lit up dark red. “I quite missed the feeling of fully powered runic armor!”

“You’re making Taya a suit of that next,” I said. “And then me.”

“As you command,” Luna replied with a bow. “Is the loot area prepared?”

“It is,” Kat confirmed with a nod. “He’s assigned a guard to inventory everything that comes in.”

“Teleport them out,” I said. They all disappeared. “Move on. Keep an eye out for more good shit.”

“For one with such a large bank account, you sure do always seem to want more,” Sentinel said.

“I have plans,” I said. “Big ones. They’re going to require money. Plus, I always make sure to give my crew a good share. At this point, most of you guys could probably afford your own houses and airships.”

“Black Fate’s squad did buy an airship, actually,” Sentinel said. “And hired a crew to fly it. They make trading runs.”

“Smart man,” I said, nodding. “I’m thinking of forming a few academies with… unique curriculums.”

“Have you decided where yet?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, actually,” I replied. “I’m going to convert my old house on the edge of the Everfree into a university. That’ll only be a small part of the final piece, though. I’m going to hire a few monster killers to teach hunting classes so I can start clearing monsters out of that place. If I ever want to make anything out of it, they’re gonna have to go. I’ll have them capture as many as possible and have them shipped to the nearby changeling gem mine, where they’ll be killed over my portion of gems, giving me a decent supply of blood gems. Once we have a nice stockpile, we’ll begin the Tartarus campaign.”

“So, three pegasi with one stone,” Felix said with a smile. “Very impressive, my lady.”

“Yeah, I’m awesome.”

“Agreed,” Luna said. “Such an idea is ingenious.”

“I’d like to spearhead the university project, if you don’t mind,” Twilight said. “I know all about how they’re run and what they need.”

“I’ll ask Moonbeam if she’ll supply changelings to build it,” I said. “But they can do it under your direction. I’d like to keep the aesthetic, I’d like it to be free, and I’d like it to have more human technology.”

“If you want,” Twilight sighed.

Flo reached over and booped her. “Don’t be racist, Twilight.”

“Yeah, Twilight,” I said.

“I thought you were better than that,” Sentinel said, shaking her head at the poor mare.

“I’m not being racist!” Twilight shouted, slapping a hoof on the floor. “I just prefer my buildings magic-powered!”

“For shame, Twilight,” Taya said, sounding incredibly disappointed. “Poor Doppel will be so hurt!” My poor little Twiggles groaned.

“Are those swirls I see?” Felix quickly asked, jumping to a small, clear cabinet. Sure enough, the gem within was swirling. Oddly enough, it was otherwise pitch black.

“What kind of gem is that?” I asked.

“Tourmaline,” Flo said.

“It’s definitely a blood gem,” Luna said. “Not overly powerful, though.”

“Flo?”

She pulled the cabinet open and pulled it out. “Clear.”

“You saw it, Felix. It’s yours if you want it.”

“What is its monetary value?” he asked. “I don’t have any way of making runic equipment.”

“At the right market, likely two to three hundred bits,” Luna said. “Of course, they’re incredibly illegal in Equestria. Selling them is a very good way to find yourself in an unpleasant fate.”

“I’ll take my chances,” he replied, taking the gem from Flo. “So what is special about these things, anyway?”

“They contain the souls of whatever creature is slain on them,” Luna said. “They’re popular among dragons because they give an extreme strength boost. They’re popular among some mages for the same reason.”

“Oh ho. I wonder what died to make this?”

“Something weak, likely,” Luna said. “It is not powerful, which is why the price is so low. Still strong enough to be valuable, but nothing compared to the others.”

“But it will make a good souvenir, if nothing else.”

Nobody could contradict that, at least. We continued once more. Twilight still looked annoyed, so I knew we had done our job well.

Everybody immediately noticed the next batch of blood gems, since they all lit up when we got close. “I cast a detection spell,” Twilight said. “I figured that would make it easier.”

“That’s not fair!” Taya said. “That means you get the first pick on all of them!”

“Cast your own detection spell,” I said.

“There’s more than enough to share,” Twilight said. “It’s not like first pick means anything for me anyway. I don’t actually have a use for them right now. I do intend to study some of them extensively, though.”

“A wise idea,” Luna said. “If you would like, I can teach you more. Unlocking their power would open many doors for you.”

“That sounds good,” Twilight said. Her horn lit up brighter and the gems disappeared. “Let’s keep moving.”

“It’s a wonder the inhabitants were able to do anything with all these traps in the way,” Luna said. “Each of the magical traps we’ve passed has been deadly.”

“That is not an issue when all thoughts are governed by one,” Flo said. “With the machines to guide their hooves, the guards would easily skip all the traps.”

“Such wretched fates,” Luna sighed. “To lose their minds wholly and utterly to ancient machines… It is good that they are finally at peace.”

“I’m surprised you’d care about them,” I said. “I didn’t figure you put much thought into it.”

“The lives I have taken weigh on me, despite possible appearances to the contrary,” she softly replied.

“I like to keep count,” Kat said.

“I am not surprised,” Luna said. “Unfortunately, not all of us are natural predators.”

Something in front of us very loudly clicked, making me and Kat flinch in surprise. Four different magical shields instantly surrounded the machine that made the noise. Moments later, it exploded.

“...What was that?” Felix quietly asked.

“A motion-activated IED, if I had to guess,” I replied. “IED stands for improvised explosive device.”

“So it’s possible that anything here could explode?” Taya asked.

“Not anything, but anything large enough to hold a bomb.”

Luna cleared her throat. “Then I must warn you… When you blow up a blood gem, it causes a huge amount of destruction.”

“Of course it does,” I sighed. “Twilight, does the detection spell let you know if something is hidden from view?”

“That one doesn’t, but this one will.” Her horn lit up bright and a wave of purple shot out in front of us. “Keep an eye out for shimmers.”

“How far are we from Mist?” I asked.

“If I had to guess, I’d say we’ll see her in ten or so minutes,” Flo replied. “Assuming we continue at the same pace.”

“Then we continue,” I said. “Once we rescue them, we’ll consider options. For now, each group needs to keep a small shield up, and be ready to back up at all times.” Three shields went up and we pressed on, walking around the destroyed machine.

Thankfully, we got past the geology section without running into any rigged blood gems. I guess the nanomachines didn’t really want to risk blowing up half their lab on accident. The next batch of lab equipment seemed to be dedicated to paleontology. We passed several preserved corpses of all kinds of horrifying mutants in tanks of what smelled like formaldehyde.

“Why would they just keep these around?” Taya asked. “It can’t be healthy.”

“It’s possible that the local nanomachines have a personality,” I said. “Maybe they just like collecting weird shit.”

“I don’t recognize any of these things,” Luna said. “Some of them are familiar, but none of them… That one is looking at us.”

We all followed her gaze and sure enough, one of the specimens in the tank was looking at us with pure silver eyes. As we watched, the eyes of all the others began opening as well. “Blast ‘em!” I shouted. All the horns lit up and started destroying all the jars near us. Thankfully, the shields kept us secure against all the glass shards that were flying everywhere.

When it was finally clear, all we could hear was the sound of liquid dripping onto the floor. I finally pulled my sword out and started walking again, boots crunching on broken glass. Everyone followed, of course.

“So why didn’t they activate for Blaze?” Kat asked.

“They might only detect life forms,” I replied. “Or noise. The two of them were probably silent on the way in.”

“Shall we continue slaying them, or wait for provocation?” Luna asked.

“Continue destroying. I don’t want to take any chances. Nothing in this particular lab seems all that useful, so I’m not worried about collateral damage.”

“Wall of fire,” Luna said with a nod. “Five meters away.”

“Unwise,” Flo replied. “The machines will develop a resistance quickly. The host might perish, but the true threat would persist. Allow me to move ahead and clear the way. If they didn’t activate for Mist, they likely will not for me.”

“Pull back if they do,” I said. “I don’t want them ganging up on you.”

“As you wish.” She pressed on, hunting for more jars. When she got pretty far ahead, we followed. Flo was able to avoid all the traps while killing everything for us, so we picked up her slack.

Thankfully, that shitty section wasn’t very large. We got to the next one quickly, which… had fairly large barrels of silver liquid. It wasn’t moving at all, but we all stopped when we got to the edge.

“...Not it,” I finally said.

“I shall go,” Luna said, walking forward. The liquid remained inert.

After several seconds, Flo moved to one of them and prodded the liquid. “It’s not alive. I believe it hasn’t been activated yet. It’s possible that we could reprogram one in this state.”

“How is reprogramming the other one going?” I asked.

“It doesn’t seem interested in talking,” Cascade said. “But we have determined that it was linked to the other machines. They do seem to all share a single mind. The more of it we destroy, the weaker its mind will become.”

“And the rain?”

“...It’s snowing instead,” she quietly replied.

“God dammit, Aqua,” I sighed.

“It wasn’t even my fault!” she shouted in my head. “It was Waterfall this time!”

Cascade didn’t correct me, though. “It should be fixed soon.”

It shouldn’t have been broken at all. “The sooner it’s fixed, the sooner you can join us in scouting.”

“We are aware. It should be soon.”

“Shall we press on?” Luna asked.

“Let’s,” I said with a nod. “Be wary of the liquid, but don’t attack unless it stirs.”

Thankfully, there weren’t too many vats. We got past that section quickly and ran into a large metal bulkhead. “Mist is right on the other side,” Flo said, placing a palm on it. “Though I can’t imagine this would stop her.”

“Cut us a hole, Taya,” I said.

She walked closer and her horn lit up. A bright white glow started at the bottom of the door and then began moving up, cutting the metal as it went. When she had cut a hole large enough for all of us, she pulled the metal back with magic.

Luna and Flo rushed in. Taya and Sentinel’s crew were right behind them. The rest of us followed at a more sedate pace, because nobody seemed to be fighting. In fact, they had all stopped to stare at a machine across the room, where a blood red male water elemental and a fairly calm female fire elemental were stuck in thick jars. Some manner of control panel was in front of them. There was no sign of anyone else. Another bulkhead blocked us from getting further in.

I walked up to the jars and tapped on one. “Can you hear me?” I asked. The water elemental started yelling and banging on the glass. I couldn’t hear it, so I assumed they couldn’t hear us. When I turned back around, Flo was studying the control panel. “What do you think this machine does, Flo?”

“If I had to guess, I’d say it either changes the gender of elementals or it changes the type of elemental. Apparently the water elemental I was tracking was this male, who I assume to be Blaze.”

“Can you undo it?”

“I would like to open it and confirm my theories first. I would also like to know who or what did this to them, so we can be on the lookout.”

“Then find a way to open the pods,” I said. “Everyone else, continue pressing on. Flo and I will stay here and catch up.”

“Are you sure, my lady?” Kat asked.

“Yes. We know whatever did this isn’t behind us and it’s definitely not in this room. Push forward, find it, and kill it.”

“As you command,” Luna said. She walked up to the bulkhead and pressed her horn against it. The entire thing instantly shattered into chunks of rust. She swept them aside with magic and continued on. The others followed.

“Thankfully, this control panel seems simple,” Flo said. “Come take a look.” I walked over next to her and found that all the buttons were labeled in English. From the look of it, her guess about swapping their types was right. “Shall we open it?”

I pressed the release button. The glass jars shuddered for a moment before slowly lifting. Blaze oozed out and Mist tried to step out, but fell on her face since she had never walked on her own feet before.

“So our theory is that this thing changed your types,” I said. “Is that accurate?”

“It is,” Blaze coldly replied. “And you’re going to swap us right back!”

“Fair enough,” I said. “Get back in there and we’ll try to figure this thing out. It shouldn’t be hard.”

“But I can cuddle him so much more easily like this!” Mist said. “Well, once I learn how to stand. Then I can easily overpower him!”

“Flo, help Mist into the chamber,” I said. Blaze snorted a bubble and slid back into his. Flo dragged a complaining Mist back onto her pad. As soon as Flo was clear, I pressed the close button. “So now the fun part begins,” I sighed, looking the rest of the buttons. There weren’t that many and all were labeled, but the choice still wasn’t obvious.

“Allow me to take a look inside,” Flo said as she placed a hand on the panel. Some of her water slid between the buttons and into the actual machine itself. After about a minute of dithering about, she nodded. “I have it.” Just like that, she pressed one of the buttons.

The machine started making a horrific whirring noise before a hose covered the tops of both jars. When they were locked into place, the jars slid open and both elementals started getting sucked inside. Once both were finally gone, it clanked a few times before spitting fire into one side and water into another. Blaze and Mist started taking form again as the machine worked. The whirring finally stopped when they were both complete, then the jars sealed and the hoses retracted.

When the machine was completely still, Flo pressed the release button again. “So how was being a water elemental?” Flo asked as the jar pulled up.

“Awful,” Blaze said. “And you will not tell the others!”

“Whatever,” I replied with a shrug. “Mist, join your sisters on the surface and help them stop the snow. Blaze, come with us and help us clear the rest of the fort.”

“I would prefer to stay with my beloved,” Mist said, turning slightly pink.

“You’re needed more out there. We won’t be able to go into the bunker itself until the weather stops being retarded.”

“Go, sister,” Flo said. “I will guide the young ones.”

“It’s not fair! You always get the fun assignments!”

“That’s because I’m pure,” Flo smugly replied. “Now hurry along. The others will want to know you’re both okay.”

Mist sighed and gave Blaze a longing gaze. He did his best to ignore it. When she got tired of it, she slid out the way we came in.

“So what did this to you?” I asked.

“Several groups of nanomachines,” Blaze said. “They ambushed me and put me in the jar. When they also captured Mist, they turned the machine on. Around half an hour or so ago, they all left the room going both ways and activated the metal doors."

“About when we encountered the first group of machines in that trap,” Flo said with a nod. “They were reacting to our arrival.”

“Which means they’ve prepared more traps up ahead,” I said. “Let’s catch up with the others.”

Blaze took point. I followed behind him, hand on my sword. Flo brought up the rear. The next section of the lab was full of chemistry equipment. There were all kinds of chemicals on a shelf that lined the far wall. Thankfully, each one was labeled.

“So when are you going to start mocking me?” Blaze sarcastically asked.

“Oh, I’m not,” I said. “If your body hadn’t been fucked up, I would. But trust me when I say I know all too well what that’s like. It’s not a fate I would make fun of, nor one I’d hold over your head.”

“...I suppose you, if anyone, would understand,” he slowly replied. “Have you thought more on my offer?”

“To help regrow my limbs?”

“Yes. With me and Char, they should grow back in a matter of weeks.”

“I have considered it,” I said. “And I might take you up on that offer shortly after we get back to Canterlot. I’m done with this bullshit.”

That made Aqua giggle. “Don’t be silly, Navi! You’re all mine now!”

Sharing is caring, bitch.

“Say the word and it will happen,” Blaze said. “The two of us owe you at least that much.”

You know, at least. “Waters could accomplish the same thing,” Flo said. “Though it would take more of us to do it as quickly.”

“If you could trust any of those things in your head again, that is,” Blaze huffily replied.

“At least some of us are pure,” Flo smugly said, placing her pink hands on my shoulders.

“Purely manipulative,” Blaze shot back.

“I think somebody’s grumpy that he was saved by a water elemental!”

“I was saved by Navarone and her crew. You just happened to be tagging along.”

“Sure, sure… because that’s so much better for your pride!”

“I am in no mood for your taunts, you watery tart!” he growled, burning white hot. Flo giggled and finally left him alone.

“How far ahead do you think they got?” I asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Surely not far,” Flo said. “It’s only been a few minutes.”

“Shall I pick up the pace?” Blaze asked.

“No. I doubt they missed anything, but I don’t want to risk running into something because we’re in a hurry. Surely they’ll come across something that will slow them down.”

“With Luna, Twilight, and Taya?” Blaze said. “Somehow I doubt it.”

That was actually a pretty good point. I was hoping we’d catch up, but I doubted the others would wait. “How far do you think we’ve come?” I asked.

“Almost three kilometers,” Flo replied. “I predict about seven more.”

“Once the precipitation stops and we clear out all the magical traps, I want the elementals to comb this place over,” I said. “Along with a few of Watcher’s squads. I want every inch of this fort searched. Those other machines could hide anywhere.”

“We’ll be happy to oblige,” Flo said. “My sisters are quite interested in unlocking the secrets within. Of course, we have to know the fort is safe before we can proceed.”

“With luck, we can find a way to disable the shield and get the ships in closer,” I said. “I’d like the extra support.”

“My sisters didn’t see anything like a control panel for a shield within,” Flo said. “But they may have missed it. They were in somewhat of a hurry.”

“I’m starting to wonder if the others are, too,” I said. “We should have caught up to them by now.”

“Shall we finally start to hurry?” Blaze asked.

“I’m sure that there are no magical traps in our way,” I said. “I’m not sure there aren’t any nanomachines hiding somewhere in our way. I don’t want to hurry through this place until it’s been thoroughly pacified. Until we’re sure it’s safe, we need to tread carefully.”

“Perhaps you should not have ordered the others ahead,” Blaze replied.

“I figured you wouldn’t want them knowing your predicament.” He didn’t have a smart-ass reply for that.

After another few minutes of walking, Blaze lifted a fiery hand. “Body ahead. Not one of ours.”

“Looks like the waters missed a few defenders,” I said.

“Unsurprising,” Blaze snorted.

The body was a fairly sizeable minotaur. His entire rib cage had been ripped out, along with most of his organs. “Flo, check it for nanomachines.”

She slid up to it and poked it a few times. “It’s clean. I advise we pick up the pace. If they run into more, they might need me and Blaze to stop the nanites.”

“I imagine they’ll be fine, but if there are defenders ahead, I’m not missing out on the action. Let’s speed it up.”

Flo swooped in behind me to lift me up. When I was secure, she sped off, easily sliding between the equipment. Blaze began sprinting, throwing everything out of the way. Thankfully, none of it really looked all that valuable.

Before we could really pick up much speed, a group of three more giant minotaurs and a unicorn teleported in. Flo threw me at the unicorn before I could react and Aqua snatched one of my daggers out, using it to slash the unicorn’s throat so deeply that her head almost fell off. I proceeded to fall straight into the floor and slide face-first into a bench.

By the time I shook the pain out of my head, Blaze had brutally destroyed the minotaurs and Flo was dragging a group of nanites away from my feet. When she finished them off, she pressed a hand against my face and the pain went away. “It appears my sisters missed more than a few defenders.”

“I brought my ring,” I said. “Next time, let me use that instead of throwing me.”

“To be honest, I’m surprised you reacted quickly enough,” she replied, handing my dagger back. “Coulda nailed the landing better, though.” When I put the knife away, she hauled me back to my feet. “So, back to going slow?”

“Hell no. I’d rather not get caught flat-footed and magically defenseless again. Let’s catch up as quickly as possible.”

And with that, she picked me back up and we continued. Before we got a few meters away, I pulled myself up to her shoulders and drew a throwing knife. “I never thought I’d be a battle mount,” she said.

“You’re certainly not a comfortable one.”

She melted into Celestia’s shape. “How’s that?”

“Much better.”

The next group to teleport in had one unicorn, a teenage dragon, and three wolves. The knife left my fingers before the light from the teleportation was gone, slamming straight into the unicorn’s throat. He managed to teleport away, leaving the others to fight.

The dragon immediately squared up and started huffing. Blaze jumped in front of us, absorbing the blast as it came. The three wolves darted around the distracted elemental and pounced up at me. Flo surged up around me to stop them, but one slid right through her, ripping me off her back and dragging me to the ground.

It was all I could do to keep the thing’s biting mouth away from my face and neck. When I finally got my feet up to kick it back, I managed to pull out a dagger before it was right back on me. Even with a dagger slammed to the hilt in its belly, it still kept trying to get at my face. Thankfully, I pierced the spine and killed its back legs, so I was easily able to push myself away from it.

Before I could get up and finish it off, Blaze crushed its torso with his flail. “Tch, she can’t even protect you properly!”

“The nanites in the other wolves combined,” Flo replied as she started eradicating the machines pouring out of the dead wolf. “They were able to get through me.”

“We’re not going to get anywhere at this rate,” I sighed, yanking my knife out of the wolf. Unfortunately, it had been partially disintegrated by the machines. “God dammit, this was my favorite dagger!”

“I’m sure Jak will be happy to make you better ones,” Flo said. “Actual daggers, not oversized short swords.”

Mostly disintegrated or not, I wasn’t going to leave a naga weapon behind. I slid it away and remounted Flo. “Shall we?” As we continued, I used a small thing of twine to bind the dagger to the sheath, so it wouldn’t slide out in combat and so I wouldn’t be tempted to try using it again. When it was secure, I drew another throwing knife.

“Your aim with those things is impressive,” Blaze said.

“I had a really good incentive to learn. At the time, a whole lot of very pissed off cats were trying to shove swords in me. Since I had no clue how to actually fight, keeping people well away from me was pretty important.”

“And you did not think to use your time training with a real weapon?” he asked.

“Oh, I did,” I replied. “My choices of trainers were my rapist or a completely and terrifyingly psychotic serial killer. I chose to practice throwing knives instead.”

“...I am beginning to understand more and more of your personality,” he slowly said.

Flo giggled. “It’s amazing what happens when you take the time to actually talk to others!” He didn’t bother replying.

We heard the sound of fighting before we actually saw our group. At the moment, they were surrounded on both sides by several unicorns flinging spells and naga wielding some very unpleasant looking weapons. Their unicorns seemed focused solely on defense and were blocking just about everything my group was throwing at them. The upside is that the naga were incapable of getting through Twilight’s shield.

I put my knife away and slowly drew my sword, trying to be as quiet as possible. Blaze and Flo were completely silent as they crossed the distance, so the enemies had no idea we were there until Blaze brained two of their unicorns with a flail and Flo started absorbing another. The others were too far away, so I jumped off her back toward the last two. At that point, they finally realized we were there and teleported away.

That left the naga in between us and the others, but without the unicorns to defend them, Taya and Sentinel quite literally tore them to pieces. Flo started mopping up the machines that oozed out of the bodies while Blaze and I pressed forward.

As soon as I got to my filly’s side, I pressed my hand on her back and said, “Teleport us behind them.” Her horn lit up and the two of us appeared on the other side of the group. Their attentions instantly turned toward us, but she blocked the naga with her own shield and started slinging magic at the unicorns.

Now that they were surrounded, they tried teleporting out. All five of them seemed to phase out for a moment before reappearing with a fizzle.

“Put a shield up behind the naga attacking the others,” I said. As soon as Taya’s shield went up, Twilight dropped her own while Sentinel and Luna wrecked the naga. Once they were clear, the unicorns tried hitting us with their own spells, but they couldn’t focus on both attack and defense. Taya dropped the shield blocking the others from the hostile unicorns.

“TAYA, FIRE RESISTANCE!” Luna shouted. Our shield turned red and a huge swath of blue flames covered us for about fifteen seconds. When it was over, nothing was left of the enemies between us, not even ash.

Before I could give more orders, the others rushed forward to clear the gap between us. When we were all together again, Twilight raised a new shield. Everyone spread out to fill in defensive gaps around the perimeter of the shield, not that I really expected much to be able to pierce it.

“Keep that anti-teleportation field up,” I said. “The nanites are trying to preserve as many unicorns as possible. As soon as they’re injured or outnumbered, they run. Everyone else seems to be disposable, though.”

“If I keep the field up, they can’t get to us,” Luna replied. “And if they can’t get to us, we can’t kill them.”

“Then cast it again as soon as more appear. Cascade, how the hell did the scouts miss so many survivors?”

“I doubt they were hiding in the fort,” Cascade replied. “We believe it likely that they are coming from the bunker itself. As it so happens, we aren’t the only ones being attacked. Watcher has had to pull all of his guards back to the gate.”

“They only hit us when we started rushing,” I said. “When did they start attacking you guys?”

“When we started rushing,” Sentinel replied.

“...Why were you in a hurry? You knew we were behind you.”

“That is why we were in a hurry,” Luna said. “I was hoping to clear the fort before you caught up to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“Don’t be a silly filly, Woona,” I said, reaching up to boop the nose of her helmet.

She stopped me with magic before I could touch her. “Don’t. My armor is unfinished. Touching me while it’s on would be unwise.”

Everybody else took several steps away, but I met her gaze. “You’re not that dumb. You’re bluffing.”

Her magic released me. “Do as you will.” I reached out and booped her. Absolutely nothing happened. “It truly does seem that there’s no escaping the indignity.”

“She does it because she loves us!” Taya happily replied. “Accept it from your lady as a sign of honor.” Sentinel sighed in disgust. “Sounds like somebody needs a boop!”

“We should keep moving,” the mare replied. “We’ve already been caught in one ambush.”

Unfortunately, she was right. “Luna, Blaze, Kat, take point, five meters ahead. Keep an eye out for traps on all sides. Sentinel, Twilight, center. Sentinel, prepare for fast response. Me, Taya, Felix, and Flo will guard the rear, five meters behind you. Each group maintains their own shield, but everybody be prepared to drop your own for a single shield. Focus on killing unicorns the instant they appear. We need to whittle down their teleporters.”

Everyone fell into line with a fairly minimal amount of grumbling. When we were all in place, the procession started.

“So has anyone else wondered how they have so many troops?” Felix asked as we walked. “Surely there aren’t that many adventurers coming here.”

“The bodies I have absorbed have all had perfect regeneration,” Flo replied. “Something in those nanomachines seems to be able to keep them alive longer than we can keep our hosts alive.”

“That would be a fun secret to crack,” I said. “What’s the status of the snow?”

“The snow has stopped,” Cascade replied. I gasped in surprise. “But the trees are still growing and showering us with debris.”

“Debris that we can much more easily burn back now that it’s not snowing. Is Watcher still holding?”

“The attacks have stopped,” Cascade replied. “We think they might be linked.”

“There’s no way that hurrying in this place can trigger encounters,” I replied. “I refuse to believe this is a video game.”

“It is merely a hypothesis. As it is, now that we know there are attackers, we are less inclined to enter and leave your soldiers alone. You have most of the heavy magic hitters with you.”

“Watcher ain’t bitchmade,” I said. “But I’m inclined to agree. If this thing can give its followers perfect regeneration, there’s no telling what might be waiting for us here, what species of times long past and magicks of old that might be gathered...”

“You’re being dramatic again,” Taya whispered, bumping against me.

“Eh. I’m looking forward to seeing what’s ahead. I hope we get to kill some stuff that makes neat trophies. We can mount the heads at Stormview!”

“That wouldn’t be good for your ladylike image,” Flo replied.

“All the better!”

“Can we mount Celestia’s head?” Luna asked. “I think it would look wonderful above your new throne.”

“Nav would never do that,” Twilight said. “Besides, I think it would send the wrong message for the start of her reign.”

“Although I might keep her horn as a trophy,” I said. “I just won’t display it.”

“So you truly are serious about your ambitions?” Felix asked.

“I am. Is that a problem?”

“It’s no fur off my back,” he replied with a shrug. “All the chaos that will come with her death will definitely make certain… activities easier.”

“If I catch you stealing in my new kingdom, you probably won’t find yourself receiving a deal for leniency,” I replied.

“All the more reason not to get caught!”

“Why would you ever even need to steal again?” Twilight asked. “When we finish here, you’ll be so wealthy you could retire ten times over.”

“I could have retired a decade ago,” he scoffed, waving a paw. “But where’s the fun in that? I do so enjoy my work! And you really shouldn’t overlook my services so quickly, my lovely Lady Navarone. I know of all kinds of powerful artifacts in ruins of old that I’ve merely lacked the resources to obtain! With your assistance, I could loot all the famous dungeons, bringing you power beyond measure!”

“And what do you bring to the table that Kat doesn’t?” I asked.

“Sanity, for starters.” Kat hissed at him, but he did kinda have a point. “I am a master of infiltration and stealth. I have fifteen years of experience as a thief, stealing things both large and small. No lock, pocket, or gem is safe from my paws. I am one of the most notorious thieves alive, my beautiful princess-to-be! Surely my services are worth more than whatever that bedraggled thing brings to the table.”

“Kat?” I asked with a smirk.

“I am an ex-assassin, trained by the official clans of the Egyptian government. I have killed thousands, cutting my way through battlefields, parties, back alleys, and wherever else my prey sought to hide. If I want somebody dead, it is only a matter of time. My paws are cursed such that one opens any lock and the other seals any door, so no lock in the world can protect you from me. If I so choose, I could slit your throat in your sleep and be gone before any guards even noticed.”

“So you’d rather have a cut throat murderer by your side than an honest thief?” Felix asked.

“She’s cute and cuddly,” I replied with a shrug.

“She’s bragging about how quickly she could kill me!”

“Sounds cute to me,” Luna said.

“And how could she be more cuddly than me? Her fur is so thin and bristly! I mean, look at me! I’m all soft and fuzzy!”

“Nav has weird standards,” Twilight sighed. “She thinks changelings are cuter than ponies!”

“I refuse to accept that,” Luna immediately said. “We must change her mind.”

“Would you like Taya to teach you how to be cute?” Flo asked. “I think it would do wonders for you.”

“No giving Luna an ultimate weapon,” I said. “She would misuse her cuteness.”

“And Taya doesn’t?” Sentinel asked. “She uses it to manipulate you all the time!”

“Taya misusing her cuteness leads to bellyrubs. Luna misusing her cuteness might lead to heart attacks.”

“So why don’t you like me?” Felix finally asked. “I’ve been trying to figure it out. You surround yourself with such monsters, yet you act like simple thieving goes too far!”

“You’re proud of being a thieving scumbag. Neither Luna nor Kat asked for their shitty pasts and both are trying to be better. You’re bragging about how you’re going to go right back out to thieving and being a piece of shit as soon as this is over.”

“Unless I had royal support, like I mentioned,” he said. “In which case, I would be happy to loot old ruins, turning to a life of dungeoneering instead of crime! It’s not like I haven’t considered it in the past. I’ve just never had enough support to make breaking into the real treasure troves worth the risk. But with the kind of group you’ve built, such a thing would be a walk in the park! And on the plus side, you can keep your horrifying murderer by your side for all the cuddles you could ever want.”

“Eh,” I replied with a shrug. He sighed and finally shut up. It was certainly something worth considering, but I really didn’t want to keep putting up with him. Then again, since Aqua was probably going to completely erase my personality anyway, it’s not like it would matter that much.

A few more minutes slowly passed by in silence. Nothing else teleported in and it felt like everybody was starting to relax again. Luna finally looked around and said, “It appears the attacks have stopped. I am not sure what would cause them to strike while we move quickly.”

“It would be easy to test,” Twilight said. “We can just send a group forward quickly, then support them if they’re attacked.”

“But it also risks getting Watcher attacked,” I said.

“I wonder if it would also happen if anyone on the wall moved quickly,” Flo said.

“Cascade, warn Watcher,” I said. “We’re about to do an experiment.”

“One moment,” Kat said. A second later, she nodded. “He is prepared.”

“Luna, take your group and hurry forward. We’ll follow at a slower speed and catch up if you get attacked.”

After taking a few seconds to gird themselves, her group picked up the pace. When they got about thirty meters away, a group teleported behind us. As soon as my squad spun to face them, another group teleported in front of Twilight’s team.

The group attacking me was nothing but five unicorns, who all immediately started slinging magic at Taya’s shield. “Back up!” I shouted, gently tugging my daughter’s tail. We started backing away from the attackers, toward Twilight’s shield. I didn’t know what they were fighting, but we’d be a lot more effective with fewer shields.

Since none of their unicorns had a shield, I finally pulled up my rifle and shot one of them through the face. He tumbled to the ground and one of them threw a shield up. The other three continued trying to overwhelm us, but we finally linked up with Twilight and fell under her shield.

Even with Taya slinging magic on one side and Sentinel slinging it on the other, we didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Every time the enemy’s shield got weak, another unicorn would take it over, keeping them secure.

Finally, a red glow caught my attention. I looked back and saw that Sentinel was wearing the alicorn amulet. She smiled grimly and her horn and eyes turned pitch black. A gross miasma shot forward, seeping right through the shield of the unicorns in front of her. They started melting where it hit them. When two were nothing but twitching masses of flesh on the floor, the other three teleported out.

With that side clear, she turned her attentions to the other group. Instead of using the creepy melting spell, she drew my sword and threw it straight through both shields and into the face of the unicorn holding the shield. Taya immolated the remaining three before they could escape or put up another shield.

“Well, I guess that confirms that,” Twilight said.

“Take that amulet off,” I said.

“Gladly,” Sentinel replied, shivering. “I never thought I’d be powerful enough to cast that spell!”

“What was it?” Taya asked. “I’ve never seen a spell that could so easily go through shields!”

“It’s one Watcher told me I wasn’t allowed to share. I think I’ll be following his advice and keeping it to myself.” Taya pouted for a few seconds, then looked at me expectedly. I ignored her.

Flo was already policing the bodies, so that wasn’t an issue. Luna’s group was on their way back. It didn’t seem like they had been attacked. They got to us right as Flo slid my sword back in its scabbard for me.

“So it seems our theory is confirmed,” Luna said. “Splitting up and rushing seem to be causes for assault.”

“Possibly from all sides, instantly, with no warning, and with no indication of what might be attacking you,” I said, crossing my arms. “And with absolutely no way of knowing how many enemies might be left.”

“That leaves us in something of an awkward spot,” Twilight slowly said. “We can’t really consider the fort secure until we clear out the enemies in the bunker.”

“And on the flipside of that, I’m not comfortable continuing into the bunker until we comb the fort,” I said. “I don’t want to leave any hostile groups of nanomachines behind us.”

“We might not have a choice,” Flo replied. “As Twilight said, teleporting an elemental doesn’t seem to be possible. However, teleporting a host is a nonissue. If enough hostile hosts teleported in, they could drop off a group of machines. Then they could teleport out and repeat the process.”

“Is there a rune combination that would block teleportation permanently?” I asked. “Or at least, until the rune was erased?”

“I’m not sure,” Luna said. “One would assume the circle of protection around the fort would stop them from teleporting in at all.”

“They’re under the same circle,” Twilight said. “They can teleport all they want inside it.”

“If we can’t figure out a way to keep them in their fucking hole, we might as well pull back right now,” I said. “There’s no reason to bother clearing this place if they’ll just pop right back in when we leave.”

“There is no shame in falling back,” Luna said. “I am eager to see what lies ahead in this fort, but I am just as eager to delve into the bunker.

“We could continue whittling their numbers down,” Blaze said. “If we plan properly, we could trigger ambushes and quickly eradicate the attackers.”

“If that is our plan, we should pull back and consolidate first,” Flo said. “It would be wise to have more of my sisters when we try fighting.”

“I’d rather defend a fixed position than run into ambushes any day,” I said. “We pull back. I’ll take control of the defense up top. Luna and Blaze will each pick and lead a team pushing into the fort, triggering as many ambushes as they can and clearing traps as they go. When the fort is clear of traps, we’ll regroup and discuss options.”

“I would prefer to stay by your side, Nav,” Luna said. “You might need your battle mount.”

“And I would prefer not to have to repeat myself, but here we are. Let’s start falling back.”

Much to my surprise, everyone obeyed with no more backtalk or sass. Luna decided to float me onto her back before we could get too far and everyone took up positions around us. Honestly, it felt awkward and slightly condescending.

“So what happened to asking permission before magicking me around?” I asked.

“Perhaps giving you rides is how I’ll begin showing obeisance,” Luna replied. “I can think of nothing else that more aptly showcases my submissiveness.”

“Nope, try again next time,” I said. “I don’t want a ride every time you feel like showing off. I would probably never get to walk.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Kat asked. “You would be as safe as possible!”

“My daughter couldn’t bump up against my leg and I couldn’t get her ear scritches as needed. Plus, you couldn’t cuddle up against me.”

“You are not making this easy on me,” Luna sighed.

“I have faith that you’ll endure,” I replied, patting her on the neck. “Surely you can come up with some nondegrading, convenient way of expressing loyalty that everybody around you won’t find awkward and uncomfortable.”

That didn’t seem to merit a response.

After a few long quiet seconds, Blaze snorted a plume of flame. “Have you ever wondered if you should perhaps temper your speech?”

“Yeah, I did,” I said. “But then everybody complained that I was lying all the time because I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings or cause any conflict. So I decided fuck it, might as well tell the truth. If they’re going to be pissed at me anyway, what’s the point in lying? I mean, sure, there are times when it’s convenient not to say everything that’s on your mind, but bandying words and spouting nonsense platitudes just gets dull.”

“Diplomacy is a very important virtue as a ruler,” Luna quietly said.

“And in the end, honesty triumphs. After all, you catch more flies with vinegar than honey.”

“That’s not how the saying goes,” Twilight said.

“The saying is fucking bullshit. Put out apple cider vinegar in one bowl and honey in another and I guarantee you the flies will go straight for the vinegar. We used to have fruit flies all the time because my parents were shitty. My sister and I would cull them with vinegar in a bowl with some soap in it to break the surface tension. We’d kill them by the hundreds.”

“That’s… awful,” Sentinel whispered.

“No it wasn’t. Fuck those things. I’m glad we killed them.”

“I meant… never mind.”

After about a minute of silence, Twilight groaned. “Oooh, you did it again! You used a really sad or awkward thing to shut down a conversation you didn’t like!”

“So you think my childhood was sad or awkward?” I asked.

“Yes! And I think you use it and other sad things to your advantage to change the subject all the time!”

“I’m sorry you think my contributions to conversations are attempts to kill it. If you don’t like talking to me, I’d be just as happy to stop talking entirely.” For some reason, that made Taya giggle.

“Guilt is another method you use,” Kat said.

“Fine.” And just like that, I shut up. The conversation continued, but I stopped paying attention entirely.

Getting out of the fort took a lot less time than marching into it. The lack of traps and barriers helped with that. We didn’t run into any more enemies, likely due to the fact that we were grouped up and not hurrying.

I’m pretty sure that just about everyone was extremely pissed off by the time we got out, but it was hard to tell since I wasn’t really paying attention. Being ignored seemed to put them in a bad mood.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t act like a child forever. When we finally got up to the top of the tower, where Watcher’s command post was, I knew the jig was up. “Report,” I said.

“It’s been all clear for the last twenty or so minutes, my lady,” Watcher said. “Around the time you started pulling back.”

“We’re going to try a new strategy,” I said, finally sliding off Luna’s back. “Two teams are going into the fort to trigger ambushes. One team will stay up top and hold the wall. With luck, we can wear their numbers down out here before we get in the bunker.”

“As you command. Who is going with which group?”

“You and I are leading the defense,” I said. “Blaze and Twilight will lead one group, Char and Luna will lead the other. I’ll let you guys sort out who goes where.”

Luna was first up to bat. “I still think my place is here with you, my lady.”

“Your opinion has been noted. I’ll be keeping Flo and Taya for sure. I’ll let Brook dictate where the rest of the sisters go.”

“Is our primary place not here, protecting you?” she asked.

“Can everybody stop being extremely overbearing for like five fucking minutes? It’s really, really annoying. I’m not a fucking child.”

“Says the one who just gave us the silent treatment for half an hour,” Twilight muttered.

“You’re on tummy-rub timeout, missy.” She and Taya both gasped in horror. “Make reasonable choices. Each group will need to be self-sufficient and capable of either pulling back quickly or turtling up until help can arrive.”

“Who’s getting the amulet?” Taya asked.

“I’ll be holding onto it,” I said. Sentinel floated it my way with a relieved sigh. “I have a feeling we’ll have a harder time of it out here.”

“I shall take Sentinel’s squad, Zecora, and four water elementals,” Luna said. “Aqua, Mist, Rain, and Raine. Now, I shall begin constructing your defensive positions.”

“We’ll take Black Fate’s squad, Felix, and another four waters,” Twilight said. “Blaze, do you have any preference?”

“Brook, Carl, Flumen, and River. With luck, they’ll continue remaining mostly silent.”

“That leaves me with Flo, Ice, Naiad, Cascade, and Waterfall,” I said. “And Spike, Watcher’s squad, Taya, Kat, and the griffins. I feel like Spike and the griffins will be more useful in the open, plus we’ll likely end up needing more numbers, given we have more ground to cover. Any objections to these teams?”

“None of the elementals in Luna’s group have hosts,” Brook said. I beg to differ. “Would it not be better for them to take Cascade and leave another here?”

“You can take some of each other inside of you,” I said. “And talk that way. You don’t need to infect us to enable communication.”

After a few seconds of staring at me in silence, all the water elementals merged into one blob. An instant later, they all fell back into their own shapes. “It is done,” Brook said.

“So what happened to the hostile nanomachines?” I asked.

“When you decided to pull back, we eradicated them. We wouldn’t be able to keep it secure while split up. That enabled us to focus on the trees. We’ve finally gotten them to stop growing. They’ll still tower over us, but they’ll stay where they are.”

“We’ll cleanse the place with fire later,” I replied. “As soon as Luna finishes whatever she’s doing, we’ll split up.”

“It would appear she’s drawing a circle of protection,” Watcher said. We looked over and sure enough, Luna was drawing a circle of protection on the wall a dozen meters away. When she was just a few strokes away, she stopped and teleported to our other side, where she started drawing another.

“Those will be our fixed positions,” I said. “I’ll be on one side with Taya and Flo. You take the other with your squad and one of the waters. The others will stay in the middle.”

“The middle will have no magic,” Watcher said.

“We can put up an anti-teleportation barrier before we leave,” Twilight said. “It’ll mean they won’t be able to teleport to the center. They’ll have to go around the circles of protection.”

“Unless they have alicorns,” Watcher quietly said.

“What was all that shit about jinxing things?” I asked. “Come on, bro.”

“Taya, let me show you how to finish this circle,” Twilight said. “Come with me.” The two of them walked over to the unfinished circle, probably secretly conspiring to get Twilight out of time-out.

“Do you know how to finish one?” I asked Watcher.

“I do. Are you sure splitting up like this is the right move?”

“You have a better idea?” I asked. “We can’t all go inside and scout. We have to watch the wall and the hole. There’s no telling what else is up there and we don’t want them to man the place again. And I won’t feel comfortable going into the bunker until we make sure there are either no or very few nanomachines left in the fort.”

“I know… I just don’t feel comfortable with two of my unicorns down and out for the count.”

“We can’t exactly just ferry in support,” I said. “We have to work with what we have.”

“Why not?” Sentinel asked. “We have a teleportation circle. Getting support would be trivial.”

“Because who the fuck is going to come?” I asked. “I’m not exactly on good terms with Celestia or the unicorn tower. I can’t imagine who else would have super powerful mages to just throw around, and would be willing to let us just borrow a few. We could ask Moonie, but I’d hate to know what she’d demand in return. Plus, I have some doubts about the usefulness of her soldiers, even the sapients.”

“What about Shining Armor?” Watcher asked. “I think he owes you a few favors.”

“Spike, can you send them a letter?” I asked.

“I don’t think it would work in here. We’d probably have to go to the ship. And with the range, it might take a little while to get there.”

“Then we’ll do it the slightly harder way. Watcher, take Spike back to the ship. Write a letter to Shining Armor asking for his help. Explain that we need to borrow a few competent combat unicorns to replace some losses. Then get some of the crew to use one of the circles to teleport to the Crystal Empire and deliver the letter to either Shiny or Cadance in person. You two return as soon as the letter is dropped off. If Shiny is able to send support, the ship unicorns can bring them back.”

“Should we mention you-know-who?” Spike whispered, discreetly pointing to Luna.

“No. That motherfucker owes me plenty. It’s high time he delivers. I don’t want his pesky morals potentially getting in the way.”

“I could leave Spike here and write the letter myself,” Watcher said.

“Spike has experience writing letters for me. He’ll know how to make it sound authentic.”

“A bunch of curse words, insults, and innuendos,” Spike replied with a shrug. “It’s usually pretty simple.”

“Then we leave at once.” Watcher walked over to the new teleportation circle, where several boxes of blood gems had been set aside. “Shall we take these back as well?”

“Yes. I don’t want to leave them just sitting around. Have them placed in the cargo hold for now, with a huge warning sign.”

He used magic to float the boxes over while Spike joined him in the circle. “We’ll be back soon,” Watcher said when they were ready. His horn lit up and they both vanished.

Luna got to the same point on the other circle and started walking back over. Twilight and Taya were also on the way back.

“We’ll delay leaving until Watcher returns,” Char said.

Apparently that meant open season on laziness. The guards broke off into squads and started eating and talking. The water elementals started teasing Blaze about getting trapped. Kat sidled up to my arm and clutched it with a happy sigh. Taya claimed her spot on my other leg. Luna stared at me impassively for a few uncomfortable seconds before walking over to Char and talking to him. Twilight took pity on Blaze and rescued him before he could hurt any of the waters.

Basically, the fairly standard shenanigans.

Sure enough, Watcher didn’t take very long at all. They joined us with a flash not five minutes after leaving. “The letter has been sent, my lady,” he said. “Gourd went himself. I figured it would be appropriate to send your vassal as a messenger for royalty.”

“It was,” I said.

“And Princess Gilda wanted you to have this,” Spike said, holding up a slightly damp paper bag. I opened it, revealing boiled peanuts. “Apparently they’re high in fat and protein and make good snacks for warriors, or something,” he said. “She was very insistent that you eat them.”

“Very insistent,” Watcher confirmed with a nod.

“I’m not gonna say no to a gift from royalty,” I said. “Now let’s get this show on the road. Once we get our circles complete, you guys can dip.”

“Are you sure you don’t desire my presence?” Luna asked.

“It’s not a matter of desire. It’s a matter of necessity. You are probably the most lethal person here. I’m not going to use your talents to defend a gatehouse. Instead, you are going to seek and destroy.” She sighed and looked away.

I ignored the attitude and finally started walking to the circle on the left. Kat, Taya, and Flo joined me. Watcher led his squad and Cascade to the one on the right. When we were in place, Taya finished the circle and we were quickly covered by a brown shield. Watcher’s went up a moment later.

Just like that, our defense of the fort began.