Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ScM5XRK7R9UQ7hVDzgfLHiy4VY5YYl8iLYNX2xC0BA0/edit

I ended up writing a little bit more than I was expecting on the ship, so I decided to make it a short chapter of its own.

https://discord.gg/fyynyfQ

I woke up the next morning feeling wonderful. After rubbing Taya’s belly, then doing lewd things to Gilda until we both fell asleep and then continuing to do lewd things to her in her dreams, I really felt refreshed.

That probably says a lot about me. I chose not to think about it.

“I’m not sure I want to go back down there,” Gilda quietly said as I was getting dressed.

“Why not?” I asked. “Did you ever feel unsafe?”

“To be honest, no. But… I still felt scared. Seeing everyone around me stay calm is all that kept me going at times. I always thought of myself as fearless, but after those attempts on my life… and after yesterday… I have discovered that I am certainly no warrior. Hardly fit to be a princess, even. It is good that I seek to go into the academics.”

“Yeah, things did feel kinda tense there for a little while. I still had fun, though.”

“I’m somehow not surprised. You did not have to see that pet monster of yours eviscerate two dozen dead dragons while giggling like a maniac! The look on her face still haunts my mind! You may consider it perfectly normal, but it’s horrific to the rest of us!”

“Yeah, things like that can stick with you if you aren’t used to it,” I replied. “I’ll keep your dreams clean until we get back. That’ll help you get over it faster. If you want to stay on the ship today, that’s fine. Apparently Gourd was using telescopes to watch our progress from the other side of the dome, so you can keep updated with some of what’s going on.”

“In that case, he should use the antenna to keep contact with us. With him to update us from afar, we can know if something is happening on the surface.”

“That might be doable. We’ll have to test it. I’m interested to know what happened overnight. I doubt there’ve been any emergencies, but surely it hasn’t been completely quiet.”

“Hm. If any of my guards ask, we will tell them that I had nightmares after what I saw and wanted comfort from a noble lady, so I joined you.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said. “And it’s even technically true, though I doubt they’d approve of my methods.”

She snorted. “Who cares? I’ve been half-tempted to tell them just to see the looks on their faces. I would never actually do such a thing, of course…”

“Of course,” I coldly said. When I was finally donned in a simple heavy grey dress and a dagger, I nodded. “Then shall we go poke our heads out?”

“You aren’t going to don your armor?”

“I will later, sure. Right now, I’m going to get breakfast, then get briefed on what’s happened. After that, we’ll work out today’s plan. Then I will put on my armor.”

“Hm. So you intend to wear that plain old thing.”

“None of my clothes are old, actually. Rarity’s managed to make me dozens of outfits in the short amount of time I’ve been stuck in this body. She’s obsessed with shoving people into dresses, especially little boys.”

“...Little boys?”

“We try not to judge her for it, even if it is super creepy. Do you have a problem with what I’m wearing?”

“Oh, no. I’m somewhat surprised to find you wearing a dress to begin with, though I do prefer it.”

“So does Taya, which is the main reason I wear them,” I replied. “Twilight also likes the easy access.”

“Mmm, so do I. Lift your tail up for me?” I did so and she ran one of her talons down it before slapping my ass quite nicely. “Yes, I most definitely like the easy access. I also like that you feel no fear in showing off your femininity. I assumed you would be quick to hide it. I’ve discovered that I quite enjoy how you tend to present yourself. Your feminine curves are muted, but lovely.”

“You’re not too bad either, Gilda. I’m looking forward to seeing you all dolled up and cute at the pageant. And after you get going a few times, the blush on your face is adorable! Oooh, maybe we should take a picture!”

“Absolutely not,” she immediately replied. “I have no interest in allowing proof of our activities.”

“...Want a picture of me posed all provocatively?”

“Yes, of course. We’ll take a few dozen when we return to Gryphus. I want to have every inch of you documented and available for any… future activities.”

“Sounds fun. Make sure to share them with everyone you can.”

“Of course not. Your body is mine to admire!”

“...Yours?”

“...Those pictures will be mine to admire,” she said with a sheepish grin.

“What was it you said about mares being possessive?” I asked.

“Well… You are a special case, are you not? Feeling possessive over such a valuable, beautiful, and intelligent partner seems fair to me. I would be the luckiest griffin in the world if I could only make you mine…”

“I bet you tell that to all the horribly mutated women…”

“You’re the only beautifully mutated woman for me, Navi,” she sweetly replied.

“We’ll have to see about broadening your horizons in these dream sessions,” I said with a smirk. “I can think of all kinds of mutations that would be quite fun…”

“While I would be interested and we will definitely be exploring that later, I still meant what I said. I’ve seen how Twilight and your vassals treat you. I can easily beat that!”

“So you’re going to try competing with Twilight?”

“Perhaps I shall! I still have plenty of time to prove my value as a partner!”

God dammit. “Are we really doing this?” I sighed.

“And what have you got to lose, hm? Afraid you’ll actually enjoy yourself?”

“More afraid that you’ll get us caught. You’re not exactly subtle.”

“Then that shall be one more trait I work on!” she replied with a nod. “My courtship will begin soon, my lovely lady. For now, let us go break our fast!”

“...‘Kay.”

As soon as I opened the door, Kat thrust herself into my arms, squeezing me tight. “Good morning, my lady,” she cooed as she warmly stroked my wings.

“Good morning, Kat,” I replied, hugging her back. “So how are things at the fort?”

“Not so great,” she said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t available to comfort you last night, my lady.”

“That’s quite alright,” I said, finally peeling her away. “And what do you mean by not so great? What happened?”

“Well, you know how the waters were supposed to be cracking into the local machines?”

“...What did they do?”

“...Promise you won’t get mad?”

“What the fuck did they do?”

“They broke the crater,” Kat said with a giggle.

“Kat, you better follow that with more than a fucking giggle! What the fuck did they do?!”

“Well, they figured out how to make trees grow. After that, they figured out how to make it rain! And, well, they couldn’t figure out how to make either of them stop…”

“God dammit,” I sighed. “I’m getting breakfast and then we’re going to deal with this. Wait, did you say they couldn’t make it stop raining?”

“Yep!”

“It’s going to flood the bunker!”

“Already taken care of,” she said. “Watcher had Black cover the hole with magic. It’s just really muddy. And really, really green.”

Am I ever going to stop being punished for releasing these abominations upon the world? “Good. Have the waters learned any common sense yet, or are they still being retarded and just wildly fooling around?”

“Cascade doesn’t think Flo would appreciate being called retarded.”

“I guarantee you she’d smile and turn pink if she heard it was coming from me.” I finally walked past her and down the hall. “Is Taya up and about?”

“I haven’t seen her yet,” Kat said. “Shall I wake her?”

“Yes, though she’s probably already awake.” If I’ve been playing with Gilda for a little while, she’s surely up and about by now. She fucked off to do my bidding while the princess and I continued to the kitchen.

When I got there, Sunny looked up with a grin, but flinched when she saw me. “M-my lady!”

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Your eyes! They’re… bright!”

“Oh, they’re still bright green?” I asked. “I really did think that was temporary.”

“Your hair went back to normal, at least,” Gilda said.

“Well, I guess that’s one more mutation. So what’s for breakfast?”

“...Right. Forgive me. I’ve been cooking to order this morning, since most of the soldiers are still in the bunker. What would you like, my lady?”

“Whatever’s easy. Who else have you seen this morning?”

“Just the crew and Kat,” she said. “Did something happen between Sentinel and Luna?”

“Yes. I’m going to talk to them both about it this morning.”

“Good.” She finally got to cooking. “So… how was it down there?”

“Interesting,” I said. “It’s quite literally like another world.” An extremely hostile deathworld.

“I saw through the telescope. I can’t imagine how scared you were!”

“You mean not at all?” I asked.

That made her giggle. “Leave it to our lady to be fearless!”

“She’s not fearless,” Gilda said. “She’s just completely apathetic. Or at least, that’s what she said yesterday.”

“Is our lady lying again?” Sunny asked with a sweet little giggle. “Of course she’s not apathetic! She loves us all too much for that!”

“Yep!” my daughter declared, pressing herself against one of my legs. “I like your dress, mommy.”

“Good. I’m not going to keep crowding you, Sunny. I’m heading up to the deck for now.”

“It’s certainly no trouble, but I’ll bring everything up when it’s ready, my lady,” she said.

“Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t my favorite, Sunny,” I said.

“I won’t! I also won’t tell the others, especially Amber!”

“Good.” Gilda and I started walking to the deck. Taya placed her order and rushed to follow. When we got topside, I saw that we were hanging over the dome, the changeling ship anchored next to us. There was a bubble of magic around both ships that was radiating heat.

We couldn’t see far into the dome at the moment. Thousands of trees were pressing against the top, as far as I could see. As I watched, all of them tried shooting up another meter or two, only for the tops to crack and shatter under the pressure, showering everything under them with wet splinters and leafy debris.

“That’s going to be a problem,” Gilda slowly said.

“What happened?” Taya asked. “It was fine when we left!”

“The elementals fucked it up,” I replied.

“Oh. Of course they did. I bet it was mostly Aqua’s fault!”

“Probably.” My unwanted elemental snorted. “They’re working on fixing it now, I think. I just hope it didn’t wash away the teleportation thing.”

“We can still teleport back in,” Taya said. “We’ll just have to do it the slightly more difficult way.”

“Good. I’m not up for another hike through bullshitsville, especially not in the mud.”

“It would be mostly wet ash, which is probably worse,” Gilda said. “To be honest, I’m surprised they were able to make anything grow in there at all.”

“The nanites are probably super deep in the dirt. The fire only killed the top layer. The rain has likely washed most of the ash down to the fort itself, leaving mostly mud. It’ll probably be really gross when we go.”

“That’s an easy fix,” Taya said. “We can freeze the ground solid!”

“...Easy,” Gilda slowly said.

“Yep!” Taya’s horn lit up and a spike of ice appeared next to her. “See? Easy!” She tossed it right off the ship.

“I suppose after what I witnessed yesterday, I should feel no surprise in seeing what magic is truly capable of,” Gilda said. “I didn’t really consider Nav’s threat of eradicating city after city to be viable, but now… Truly, I wonder how we managed to throw Celestia’s goons out of our nation.”

“A consolidated, simultaneous surprise nationalistic uprising across several large hubs while Celestia and Luna were both busy dealing with other issues,” I replied. “Most of the occupying unicorns were either dead or dehorned before they realized what was going on. All the survivors were rounded up at the center of each city and then forced to run for their lives through the streets. Any who were captured were raped, male or female, and then pressed into slavery. Celestia chose to abandon them out of pride instead of trying to negotiate for their release. Those who managed to escape the cities were allowed to attempt to make it home, but most perished in the wild or were captured and either eaten or enslaved by roving griffin gangs who didn’t care what the new nation’s official stance on ponies was.”

“...How do you know that?” Gilda asked.

“I asked Luna.”

“That monster is a surprisingly forthcoming source of historical tidbits. I’m not sure if that makes up for the atrocities she has committed.”

“It most certainly doesn’t,” I said. “But I’m trying to help her atone in other ways. Like helping me clear out a super ancient human bunker so we can get to the knowledge inside and use it to benefit all life. If the elementals have already figured out how to make trees grow, it’s only a matter of time until they figure out how to make fruit-bearing trees grow. Then it’ll be other crops. If we can find some way to replicate this effect, we can easily grow enough food that nobody would ever have to pay for it again unless they wanted to.”

“That still leaves picking and transporting the food,” Gilda said.

“I have preliminary plans for picking it, but I’m not sure how viable it’ll be. It’s also… distasteful. Transporting it is as easy as dumping it all onto a teleportation circle and having a unicorn send it away to a central hub, where it can be distributed more evenly. The mages at the tower actually have a teleportation circle that works by pulling a lever. If we use something like that, it wouldn’t even require a unicorn.”

“So what preliminary plans do you have for picking?” Gilda asked.

“Skeletons.” She flinched back. “As far as I’ve been able to tell, necromancy is only banned because Celestia is squeamish and prefers banning distasteful magic to trying to understand it or put it to use. If we could make it viable, that would give a single necromancer the ability to work presumably an entire farm all by himself.”

“And risk any one of them devastating an entire city!”

“Taya, how many necromantic spells do you know?”

“A few, but I don’t know how to actually raise any dead.”

“And how long would it take you to raze a city, despite that?”

“I could do it by myself a lot faster than a horde of undead could, mommy.”

“And how many times have you wanted to raze a city?”

“A bunch.”

Oh. “How many times have you actually done it?”

“Never, silly! That would make you mad.”

“Any mage is capable of wiping a city off the face of the map with enough practice, Gilda,” I said. “And as Taya said, it would be considerably easier for one who doesn’t use necromancy.”

“And what of the dead, hm?” Gilda asked. “Do you expect any to consent to allowing their loved ones to be forced into servitude after their death?”

“Say a child builds a house with blocks. When he takes it down and puts it away, is the house he built in the box? Obviously not. At that point, it’s just blocks.”

“...I don’t follow.”

“What makes you, you?” I asked. “Is it your sexy flesh prison? Or is it what’s up here?” I poked her between the eyes for effect. “When you die, all you leave behind is components of what you once were. When your body is raised with magic, it’s just the physical components. Who you were is already gone. So why not recycle the remaining components?”

“Makes sense to me,” my lovely daughter replied with a shrug.

“It’s utterly and wholly alien to me,” Gilda said with a small shiver. “You will have a hard time selling that idea.”

“Not gonna stop me,” I said. “It won’t be difficult for me to get what I need, one way or another. With luck, once all the kinks get ironed out and people can see the system in action, most of that disgust will go away.”

“I can honestly say that it is, as usual, a unique and potentially life-changing idea,” Gilda said. “The kind of idea that is rapidly making me fall for you more and more.”

Taya sighed in disgust. “Another one, mommy? Really?!”

“That’s victim blaming,” I said. “Like, you’ve seen how I interact with mares, including the ones I’m ostensibly dating. Do I honestly seem like I’m encouraging it, or does it seem like I’m more a victim of circumstances?”

“Victim?” Gilda asked, honestly sounding slightly offended. “You think my affections make you a victim?!”

“See? You see this, Taya? Don’t get mad at me for everyone falling in lust with me left and right!”

“You love the attention and don’t you dare even try to deny it!” my daughter said. “If you really wanted her to leave you alone, you wouldn’t be rubbing her belly...” complete with air quotes, “...or feeding her schoolyard crush with all this attention!”

“Fine, I’ll admit it,” I said, crossing my arms. “I like people finding me attractive and a part of me likes people falling for me. But I really don’t like when I inevitably hurt them when I fuck up, piss them off, let them down, or otherwise make them hate me.”

“Despite what you and your daughter might think, I am no hatchling,” Gilda coldly said. “My affections are not so easily dissuaded. I made my intentions quite clear this morning. If you want me to stop, tell me no and I’ll drop it.”

I opened my mouth to say it, but froze. After a second, I sighed. “People can change. I’ve seen it happen. Hell, it happened to me. If you can make an attempt to be less of a stuck up princess, I guess it wouldn’t really be fair to instantly remove you from the running. But don’t get your hopes up.”

“Do you want a herd?” Taya asked. “You keep saying you don’t, but all you do is add more women to your little harem!”

“That is not a fate in which I am interested,” the princess said. “There will come a time for a choice. I will want all or nothing.”

“It’s also not a fate I particularly want,” I said. “But to be fair, marriage also isn’t a fate I particularly want. I don’t want a herd as such, but to be honest, I’m kinda fine with how things are now. I have a pseudo-romantic relationship with three women in particular, all of whom seem to be okay with me having lustful encounters with other partners. I wouldn’t mind being faithful to just one woman, but I would have to make sure it was actually the right woman.”

“Which is completely understandable,” Gilda replied with a nod. “I admit to feeling little interest in the idea of marriage, myself, but I know it will happen one way or another due to my status. If it has to happen, it might as well be to one who I will come to love.”

“Which is also understandable,” I said. “And, to be fair, Luna was partially correct yesterday. Once I become the de facto head of Equestria, I probably will need to settle down and pick a partner who will benefit the kingdom most. A princess from a neighboring kingdom wouldn’t be the worst option.” Taya sighed again, but Gilda grinned.

Before either of them could reply, a plate levitated in front of each of us. “Enjoy!” Sunny sunnily said.

“Will do,” I said. “And thanks.”

“Always a pleasure to serve, my lady,” she replied with a small bow. When we had all collected our plates, she released them. As she turned to leave, her eyes finally took in the bunker. “Whoa! What happened?!”

“The water elementals fucked up,” I said. “They’re working on fixing it now.”

She sighed and shook her head. “I wonder about those things sometimes, my lady…”

“You aren’t the only one,” Gilda said. “I can only imagine what having one inside me would do for my mental capacities. It’s a shame that such powerful machines have been corrupted so much. I certainly have no intention of ever inviting one into me.” She shivered slightly. “I can’t imagine something like that knowing every single one of my personal thoughts.”

“It has upsides,” I said. “But it takes a special kind of trust. If you don’t have that trust with one of them, it just feels like a violation.”

“Which is why mommy kicked Flo to the curb,” Taya said with a nod.

“That’s actually not why, but it’s part of the reason. One of the additional things they can do is completely change who you are as a person. If one decided to, they could slowly change you over time. I was starting to suspect Flo did that to me. Now I’m not so sure.”

“And do you intend to accept her back?” Gilda asked.

“That is the million dollar question,” I said. “I haven’t made up my mind yet.” Though I really wish I could take her back…

“What’s a dollar?” Sunny asked.

“The human equivalent of a bit.”

“Oh, neat. Well, I’ll leave you to your breakfast, my lady.” She bowed and finally walked off.

“You have such lively, happy staff,” Gilda said as we started eating. “The way they treat you is at times abhorrent, but their morale overall seems high. Well, aside from Sentinel yesterday…”

“I know, it’s weird. It turns out, if you actually treat your staff like they’re people with opinions that matter, they work harder and happier.” She gave me a very womanly look for that. “I couldn’t believe it either! Like, it seems counterintuitive. Sure, treating your employees like unimportant, mindless, interchangeable cogs seems like it would be better for morale and encourage loyalty, but I’ve had pretty decent results with my methods. Hm, you know, it’s odd. Your staff always seemed unhappy… I wonder why that is.”

She continued eating her breakfast in silence while Taya giggled.

When we finally finished, Taya teleported all the plates back. Gilda looked behind us, to the black changeling ship. It seemed like a few of them were starting to move around the deck, including the food pony. “Is that another one of your crew?” she asked.

“I guess technically,” I said. “He’s a pony convict serving a life sentence who volunteered to become a changeling food pony.” Her beak tightened. “It’s marginally better than kidnapping random ponies. It’s also better than just sitting in a prison for the rest of his life.”

“...I suppose it is an inspired scheme, if unpleasant,” she sighed. “It’s no surprise to me that Chrysalis could think up something this abhorrent.”

“It was mommy’s idea!” Taya quickly corrected. “She came up with it all by herself!”

“Oh.” That actually made the poor princess blush. “W-well… I would still like to view their ship. I trust I shall have no problems going alone?”

“If you do, let me know,” I said. “I have no issue with you viewing my ship’s engine.”

“Then I shall return when I am finished,” she said, finally stalking off in silence.

When she was far enough away, I turned back to the bunker with a smile. “See there, Taya? I don’t encourage it. I just don’t discourage it as much as I should.”

“Mommy, you literally just told her that she would be a possible option when you become princess! How is that not encouraging it?!”

“Yeah, but then I turned around and was super bratty to her. It cancels out, see?”

“What? No it doesn’t! At best, it just makes you look indecisive and unsure. At worst, it makes you seem like you’re just toying with her and don’t really care about her feelings!”

“Yeah, well, you know, that’s just like, your opinion, man.” She stared at me incredulously for a few seconds. I finally booped her, making her squee in delight and go back to grinning in glee. “I love touching your cute little fun button!”

“What?” Sentinel flatly asked. Taya giggled as I spun to face the surprisingly nonplussed mare. The giggles stopped when I accidentally slapped her in the face with my tail. Serves you right. “Actually, never mind. It’s not my place to question our lady.”

“It’s absolutely your place to do that,” I said.

“No it’s not, and I would like to apologize for doing it yesterday,” she said. “It is not my place to question, only to obey.”

“I disagree,” I said, crossing my arms. “I need people to call me out sometimes. If I can’t come up with a reasonable justification for my actions or those of my followers, something needs to change.”

“You don’t need reasonable justification,” Sentinel said. “You are my lady. Your word is law.”

“That’s dumb. And also not like you. You just called me out for being on par with Celestia. Why would you flip-flop so suddenly?”

“I didn’t call you out,” she replied with a small grin. “I asked a question. Namely, what made you better than Celestia. And you answered that question. So again, I apologize for questioning you, my lady. It will not happen again.”

“I did what now?” I slowly asked.

“When Watcher muzzled me, you ordered him to let me speak. If I had said to Celestia what I did to you, I would be changeling food by now. So I got my answer.”

“Oh. Cool, I guess. So, I have an order for you.”

“I live to serve,” she replied with a bow.

“If I ever do something you think is questionable, call me out on it.”

“But—”

“Are you questioning your lady?” I asked with a smirk.

She blinked a few times before slowly shaking her head. “I would never do that.”

“Good. If I do something stupid, question me.”

“...As you command. And... I do have a request.”

“Oh?”

“I would like to volunteer my squad to work as Luna’s assistants in the future, should she ever need them again.”

My eyebrows lifted. “You sure about that? You didn’t seem too inclined yesterday…”

“I was upset, tired, and scared. After some time to think, I decided I would rather spare the others from the horrors of working with her.”

“Well, it’s something I’ll take under consideration,” I said. “I have no problem with it in general, but there might be some occasions when it isn’t viable.”

“I understand, my lady. When do you plan to embark again?”

“I was hoping to wait until Luna and Twilight got up, but that could be a while. I don’t want to leave the guys down there in the rain and mud forever, but I’m also hesitant to try pressing forward with only four unicorns.”

“Twilight should be up next,” Sentinel said. “With luck, Luna will be right after. Zecora managed to brew something up that helps regenerate magical energy faster.”

“Not gonna lie: That coulda been useful in the past,” I said.

“When?” she asked. “It’s not like we typically use up huge amounts of magic. As far as I know, the only one on the ship so far who fell into a coma before now was Amber, and that’s just because she was trying to impress you. And since the potion doesn’t actually help those in comas, it wouldn’t have helped then, either.”

“So it helps restore magic, but not to those who are in magical comas?” I asked. “How’s that work?”

“I may be a wise, beautiful genius, but I don’t have all the answers. I’m not sure Zecora even knows. It’s probably just a quirk of her weird voodoo stuff.”

“Whatever. When we have some time to just sit still in Canterlot, she’s going to need to start cranking some potions out. I want to have a stock of them when we go to Tartarus.”

“I’m sure she would be happy to help. Now, I would like permission to join the others at the fort. Watcher needs me.”

“Go. Ask him to either join me himself or send word back about his status. I heard from Kat about what the elementals did, but I don’t know what he’s doing.”

“As you command, my lady,” she replied with a bow. “I’m going to get armored up. I’ll be back up shortly.” She finally trotted off belowdecks, leaving me alone with my daughter.

“Why did you order her to question you, mommy?” Taya asked. “They should just obey!”

“Don’t be dumb, you’re better than that.” She blinked. “Also, I’m sorry for slapping you in the face.” She shrugged. “Now, I’m not all-knowing, I’m not perfect, and I’m certainly not anywhere near the good side of the alignment chart. I need people like Sentinel to keep me grounded in what is and isn’t acceptable. Sometimes we need to do unacceptable things anyway, but sometimes they can be avoided. If that’s the case, we should strive to do so. I took the time to build a very useful, powerful, and knowledgeable team. I need to listen to them. Otherwise, I might as well just replace them all with golems.”

“Who cares if something is unacceptable? All that matters is getting the job done!”

“Normal people care. Unfortunately, the world is mostly made up of them. Like it or not, we have to live with them. Thus, we can’t go around doing things that make people pissy.”

She sighed and hung her head. “I’m glad I have you to tell me what to do, mommy… I don’t think I'd want to try to figure all this out on my own!”

“Yeah, shit sucks hella hard.”

She finally perked back up with a smile. “So, wanna keep touching my cute little fun button?” she asked.

“We need to stop saying these things in public,” I said.

“What? Why?!”

“Because they’re super inappropriate. I don’t mind in private because it’s also cute and adorable, but I think it’s starting to give everybody the wrong impression.”

“So? We’re together forever now, mommy! No matter what! Who cares what impression the others get? Fuck them!”

“You watch your mouth, young lady!” I managed to last a total of three seconds before giggling. “Sorry, I’ve just always wanted to say that. Now, I get where you’re coming from and I definitely understand. But as much as I like making people feel awkward and uncomfortable, it doesn’t really seem like a good idea in this case.”

“Why? All we’d have to do is use the lie detecting spell and tell them the truth!”

“Because not every unicorn knows that spell and people might not trust it if you were the one who cast it. All I ask is not in public. Or at the very least, only around vassals and employees.”

“And what’s wrong with them thinking we do have that kind of relationship, mommy? It’s not like anyone can do anything about it!”

“Because there’s unacceptable and then there’s unacceptable. If we ever did anything and word got out, any hope of us succeeding after killing Celestia will be gone. There would be no coming back from that reputation loss. You are my daughter. I am your mother. That is our relationship.”

The poor filly looked on the verge of tears. After a few seconds, she turned back to face the bunker. “...Fine. But you better come up with another inappropriately cute and adorable nickname! I like being your little cuddleslut, but I’m sure I’d like more, too!”

“Deal.”

The next one to join us on the deck was the head of the griffin group. He took a moment to stretch. When he noticed the trees pressing against the dome, his beak dropped. “What happened?!”

“The elementals fucked up,” I said. Maybe I should put up a sign... “They’re working on fixing it now.”

He walked over to join us, staring at the dome in wonder. “This trip has been truly interesting, my lady,” he said. “Though I’m not sure why the princess wanted to join you.”

“Because it’s a human installation,” I replied. “And I gave her a bunch of human information a while ago. That’s where most of her inventions came from. She’s interested in finding more technology or information to salvage.”

“Hm. A part of me thinks she might be interested in something else.”

“Oh? And what’s that?” I asked.

“A mate.”

“What gives you that impression?” I slowly asked, feeling a pit of trepidation forming in me.

“I’ve seen what’s going on. I’m not blind.” Oh shit. “With the way she looks at that dragon, it’s obvious!”

Thank God, he’s an idiot. “You don’t have to worry about Spike,” I said. “He’s fascinated with his current Gilda. I think he prefers the warrior woman aesthetic to the cute bookworm.”

“That is… relieving. I’m pleased she’s spending so much time with someone closer to her rank on this trip, my lady. I’m glad you’re keeping an eye on her.”

“Always happy to help a friend,” I said with a nod. “After the horrors she saw yesterday, she might be spending a few more nights in my room.”

“Excellent. Please continue keeping her safe and comfortable, my lady. She is our last unwed princess. Prince Hooters would have my head should anything happen to compromise her.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing,” I said. “I’ll take good care of her.”

“Excellent. I’m glad she finally has a true friend. The princess can be… difficult to get along with at times.”

“She’s slowly working on that, it seems,” I said. “I hope she’ll be more tolerable when this trip is over.”

“As I said, I’m glad she has found a friend, someone she can really be comfortable with. All her life, it seems she’s been… somewhat stuffy.”

“It can be difficult for really, really smart people to get along with others,” I said. “And to be honest, she’s a genius. Not enough griffins respect that, which gets on her nerves.”

“And of course, she allows you to give her belly rubs.”

“It’s very therapeutic. If you’d like, I’d be happy to rub yours as well. I won’t tell your troops.”

His eyes glanced down to my daughter for a moment before darting back up to me. “Thank you, but I believe I will pass for now.” Yeah, for now. “When do you plan to return to the fort? I was able to fly back to the ship last night, but I don’t think I will be able to return that way…”

“When Twilight and Luna are up,” I said. “But if you want to return sooner, Sentinel was planning on heading out when she gets suited up.”

“I shall wait until the princess goes,” he said. “For now, my place is here with her. Have you seen her this morning?”

“I have. She’s on the other ship, looking over the engines.”

“The… changeling ship?” he quietly asked.

“My ship. It happened to be built by changelings and crewed by changelings, but it is mine and they work for me.” You know, supposedly.

“I believe I will join her. It was nice speaking to you, my lady.” He bowed and flew off to the other ship.

“...I think he might be blind, deaf, and dumb, mommy,” Taya slowly said.

“I’m not complaining. It does kinda explain why I’ve had to deal with two assassins in the griffin palace myself, though.”

“That’s okay, mommy. It got you up Gilda’s skirt, didn’t it?”

“It sure did,” I replied, tousling her mane. “One of the best ways into a girl’s panties is to save her life. You should keep that in mind.”

“But I’m not interested in girls!”

“Right, sorry. It never really did much for me when a girl saved my life as a guy, so I don’t really know what to tell you, there.”

“Shouldn’t I just dress like a slut and put out easily?”

“Yeah, that would do it. You can’t get pregnant anymore, so it’s not like you have to worry about that. All I ask is that you not be stupid with your partners.”

“Don’t worry, mommy. I won’t do anything dumb like making a prince fall in love with me and then sleeping with him behind his guard’s back while not actually intending to marry him.”

“Good. Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?”

“Nope! You should tell me over and over, just to make sure I get the message!”

So that’s just what I did, right up until the next person joined us on the deck. My little purple lover walked up behind me and wrapped her hooves around my waist. “Mmm, you’re so warm,” she sighed in delight.

“Everything is warm. We have a heat shield around us.”

“Well, you’re hot. Is that better?”

“Yes. How are you feeling now?”

“Much better. A night of hard sleep and then Zecora’s wonderful potion put me right back on my hooves. It even tasted great!”

“I thought she said she was going to stop making them taste good.”

“I thought so, too. When I asked, she said she would only make things she gave to you be unpleasant.”

“...That’s not a very nice way to treat her lady.”

“Yeah, well, that’s Zecora for you, I guess. How did you sleep?”

“Decently. Gilda’s a grabber, but that’s not too much of a problem when nothing wakes me. I considered hunting for dreams, but I decided I needed the sleep more.”

“Probably.” She finally let me go and looked over at the dome. “I can’t believe the elementals messed up like this.”

“Really?” Taya asked.

“...Well, I can believe it. I just don’t want to. Have you spoken to Sentinel about what happened yet?”

“Yes.”

“...And?”

“And it’s taken care of.”

Twilight looked down at Taya, who said, “She swore to obey mommy no matter what.”

“Oh. Good. Not what I was expecting, but good! Did she say why?”

“Because I’m better than Celestia, apparently,” I replied. “Instead of silencing her, I tried to allow her to speak.”

“Makes sense, but that was a little extreme. Did she say anything about Luna?”

“She volunteered to be Luna’s assistant in the future.”

That made her eyebrows shoot up. “Wow. What did you say?”

“That I’d take it under consideration.”

“...Huh. Well, it would be a good idea to have your troops working with her. And in terms of competence, she’s a step above the rest.”

“She has her uses. So have you been briefed on the conditions down there?”

She nodded. “Kat told me what happened. Apparently it’s starting to flood. Watcher moved the teleportation circle onto the wall, but it’s starting to get bad. When do you want to head back down there?”

“Whenever Luna gets up,” I said. “Sentinel said it should be soon.”

“Yeah, Zecora was going to see her next.”

“...I’m gonna go check on them,” I said. “I don’t think Luna needs to wake up with someone unfamiliar standing over her.”

“That’s probably a good idea. I think I’m going to go get breakfast, then. Do you know what Sunny’s cooking?”

“Whatever you ask for,” I said, starting to walk to the stairs. Before I got there, Sentinel stepped out. “You heading down?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Take Taya with you.”

“What?” my daughter asked.

“I’ll be heading down shortly and Watcher might need you,” I said. “You don’t need to get armored up and getting provisions in and out will be easy now, so you don’t need to pack. Thus, you can go with Sentinel.”

She sighed and hung her head. “Okay, mommy…”

“Like I said, I’ll be down soon.”

“I know.” She sighed again before her horn lit up and the two of them teleported to the little hole in the mountain.

Twilight and I continued into the ship. She went to the kitchen while I went on down to Luna’s room. When I got there, I found Zecora and Kat concocting some manner of potion on the small table in her room. Luna was still asleep. Her armor was piled up in a corner. I assume she wasn’t able to take it off herself, so someone helped her and then just dumped it.

“Why are you making it in here?” I whispered.

“These potions do not last long,” Zecora softly replied. “They must be ingested immediately.”

“Bummer. I was hoping we could stockpile them.”

“We can. I used most of my preservative ingredients while stockpiling for this expedition, so I’m holding off on them for now. Because of that, the potions I make must be used immediately.”

“Oh.” I figured letting them concentrate was wise, so I walked over to the dresser and tried sitting on it, only to immediately slide off because it was too narrow to support me and my shitty tail. I sighed in disgust before just leaning against it, the tail gently thrashing behind me.

When the potion finally started smoking, Zecora nodded. “It is done.”

“Let me give it to her,” I said. “I don’t want her to freak on you guys.”

“Wise.” She hoofed me the potion. I walked over to Luna and pried her mouth open. Her eyes slammed open and fixed me with a glare before she realized who it was.

I let her go and held up the potion. “Drink.” She sat up, took it with a hoof, and drank it all down. “How do you feel?”

Her eyes closed and she took a slow, deep breath. After a few seconds, she slowly eased it out and opened her eyes. “Considerably better. What manner of potion is that?”

“One of my own creation,” Zecora said. “Made from several ingredients we have found on our journey. It greatly boosts the rate at which a unicorn regenerates magic.”

“Astounding. Your name will go into every alchemy book printed in the future, Zecora.”

“I am not interested in fame or acclaim. Serving the clan as my lady’s mystic is enough.”

“At the very least, I advise you make this recipe public. It could revolutionize the study of magic.”

“I highly doubt it,” Zecora replied with a small smile. “Obtaining the ingredients would be impossible for most. But I suppose you are correct. It is worth sharing.”

“Think you’re combat-ready?” I asked.

“I am,” Luna replied with a nod. “I shall armor up and head to the deck post-haste.”

“Kat, go get Luna breakfast, please,” I said. “I’ll help her armor up.”

“...As you wish,” Kat said. She walked out wearing an unreadable expression. Zecora followed without a word, closing the door behind her.

“Sentinel told me you were pleased with my work,” Luna said with a shy smile. “I’m happy I serve you well, Nav.”

“Is that what she told you?” I asked.

Luna blinked and her grin disappeared. “Is… Is that not the case?”

“Oh, I was pleased with the results. I’m just surprised Sentinel told you that last night. She was pretty irate when she left.”

“She was even more irate when she returned to the ship. In fact, she screamed your praises at me before storming off. But I knew she couldn’t be mad at me, so I wasn’t worried.”

“Why did you know that?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Because I only did as you commanded. How could she be upset that I followed your orders? So what was she mad at?”

“It’s been taken care of. Don’t worry about it. Now, you ready to get started?”

“I am. I suppose you will need assistance as well?”

“You suppose wrong. My armor is more of a body suit.”

“Ah, yes. It lacks a helmet. I will work with Jak to design a suit of runic armor for you. You will wear it, instead.”

“Sounds good to me.” She finally hopped out of bed and we began armoring her. Kat showed back up with food before we could finish. She helped Luna finish while I went to get my own gear.

To my surprise, Watcher was waiting in my room. “Sentinel said you wanted to see me?”

“I was looking for a report,” I said. “You didn’t have to come in person, but that works. What’s going on?”

I started stripping down while he began talking. “The water elementals screwed up big time. I had to pull all my ponies up to the wall because the crater is starting to flood. It’s all we can do to keep the rain out of the hole. Taya and Sentinel are helping, but we need this fixed before I’ll feel comfortable entering the bunker itself.”

I was finally down to nothing and started putting shit on. “Do you think Luna could put up another circle of protection around the fort to keep the water out?”

“I don’t know. Probably not. To get one sizable enough, she’d have to put it in the center of the hole. That wouldn’t be possible.”

“Are the flying platforms still there?”

“...They are. That actually might work, if we can figure out how to control them.”

“Good. Did you have any contact last night?”

“Yes. What we think was the last group from the forest attacked us, trying to retake the fort. The water elementals swarmed them, eradicating them all.”

“Excellent.”

“The waters disagree,” he said. “They were hoping the mass we killed earlier was controlling all of them. If it was, killing it would have either freed or disabled them.”

“The waters said before that they didn’t have any personalities. It might be possible that they had a standing order to fall back to the main base if anything ever happened.”

“I like the optimism, but we must be extremely cautious when we enter the bunker itself. It’s possible there’s more groups of nanomachines.”

“I’d like to think Felix would have noticed something like that, but he’s been mostly useless so far.”

“Are you sure it was a good idea to allow him weapons?”

“What’s he gonna do? Try attacking us? He’d be killed in an instant. Try running? Where’s he gonna go? It’s not fair to make a man who knows how to fight to go defenseless in a place like this, to us or to him.”

“I suppose. I just don’t want him getting desperate.”

“From what I understand, he has a deal with Princess Gilda. If he fulfills his end, he’ll be free to go. He has nothing to worry about. Her griffin pride is on the line. Plus, he knows he’s getting a share if he cooperates.”

“Are you sure you should waste a share on a mostly useless crew member?”

“Of course. It sets a good example to Gilda. Be fair to everybody in your command, even if you don’t like them that much. Besides, he doesn’t seem like as much of a shitbag as I originally thought. He still has a long way to go, though. I don’t like thieves.”

“Yet you don’t mind assassins or mass-murdering princesses.”

“I don’t like proud, unashamed dirtbags. Luna regrets what she has done. Kat regrets what she has become. Felix revels in his filth. He may have slightly more honor than I originally thought, but that doesn’t change much.”

“I suppose it grows easy for you to ignore all the faults in those who swear to serve you.”

“Of course it doesn’t,” I said. “I worry about it all the time. Kat feels like a ticking time bomb waiting to blow. Luna may be loyal, but she worries me.”

“She worries all of us. Sentinel told me she made peace with you.”

“She did.”

“...And?”

“And it’s taken care of.”

“Very well.”

“Any other news about the bunker?”

“Blaze never came back from the fort last night. Mist went in after him a few hours ago.”

“Here’s hoping they both got killed. That’ll be two fewer malfunctioning AIs to worry about.”

“I’m usually not one to wish ill upon our allies, but I’m inclined to agree. At least in Mist’s case. Blaze might be rough around the edges, but he’s lethal in melee. Mist is just psychotic. I also have severe concerns about Aqua.”

“How do I look?” I asked, finally turning to face him. At that point, I had everything ready.

“Like a noble,” he replied with a nod. “Armored in unique, one of a kind armor, several extremely rare and valuable weapons, a few magical artifacts… It’s obvious you’re free to flaunt your wealth, my lady.”

“Great, now I just feel dirty. Way to ruin it.”

“I’m sorry, my lady. You look beautiful. Stunning, even.”

“Much better. When’s the last time you took a break?”

“I was out there all night, coordinating our efforts.”

“Get a hot meal in you. Sit down for a few minutes. Join us back at the fort when you’re ready.”

“As you command. Will you be heading down soon?”

“As soon as I get everyone together. I’ll be leaving Gilda behind for now. She… felt unsure about going back after yesterday. This’ll give her more time to consider.”

“Should I bring her with me?”

“If she wants. Ask first. At the moment, she’s studying the changeling engine. That’ll probably occupy her for a little while. She also has the griffin captain with her.”

“He and his scouts have been useful,” he said. “They were the ones who spotted the attack.”

“They were also the ones who scouted most of the mountains for us. Thankfully for me, the guy is dumb as a box of rocks. He thought the princess was going after Spike, and asked me to keep an eye on her. Then praised me for spending so much time with her in my room.”

“You have the best life ever sometimes, Nav.”

“Yeah, sometimes. I bet you wish you could be banging a smoking hot griffin princess.”

“Oh, I do. I only got to do it once.”

“Wait, what?”

“One of the king’s other daughters was feeling lonely and vindictive one night while she was on a diplomatic mission to Canterlot. I happened to be nearby. It’s an encounter I remember quite clearly.”

“Was it fun?”

“It was… an experience. I did have fun, but I don’t know if I would classify it as fun overall.”

“Nice. I’m heading topside.”

“And I’m heading to the kitchen.” We both went our separate ways. When I got to the top, I found Luna and Kat waiting for me.

“No Twilight yet?” I asked.

“She went back below when she saw you weren’t ready,” Kat said. “She said she’d be back soon.”

“Baller. Zecora?”

“She has not been up,” Luna said. “Shall I go fetch her?”

“Nah. I don’t know how long she’s been out in the field. Apparently this is Watcher’s first time back. They need us down there pretty badly, so we’re going as soon as Twilight gets back.”

“What’s the situation?” Luna asked.

“Severe flooding. Watcher’s had to pull back to the wall. At the moment, they have a shield over the hole so it won’t flood. I was hoping we could use one of the flying platforms to draw a circle of protection in the center.”

“That might be doable, but a circle on just one platform won’t be large enough. We’ll need at least nine of them.”

“Good thing there’s ten. When we get there, I want you to take Twilight and the pegasi and see what you can do about moving those things.”

“Do we have a Plan B?” Kat asked.

“Use magic to steam all the clouds, like we did yesterday,” I replied. “With luck, we can get rid of enough of them without using a circle that it stops the flooding.”

“If there is no lightning, the pegasi and griffins could bust the weather,” Luna said. “You and I could assist.”

“You could. I can’t fly well enough. That can be Plan B. Plan C is using magic.”

“You will not get better without exercise and practice,” Luna said. “Busting weather is perfect for practice.”

“It’s less a matter of strength and more a matter of my wings legit being fucked. That’s why I need to be tossed in the air to fly. I’m planning on chopping them off soon so they can grow back less shitty.”

“...You say exercise and practice would do you no good. Have you tried?”

“No. I just assumed it was more magic than actual strength.”

“Not so,” Luna said, spreading her wings. “I try to exercise my wings daily. If I do not, flying becomes a chore rather than a delight. I can’t imagine the same wouldn’t be true of you. How often do you fly?”

“Not very. I try to avoid it because it’s hard as fuck. I have to be careful how I flap my wings because they have different wind resistances. They also have different weights.”

“...I see. I suppose chopping them off might make sense, then. Are you certain they’ll grow back?”

“Nope. But if not, that means I can probably chop my tail off, too. That’ll put me much closer to normal. So win-win, really.”

“...You detest your body so, that you would be willing to mutilate it?”

“Yeah. The only reason I haven’t done it yet is because I haven’t had time. Soon, though.” Kat skipped across the deck and hugged me. “I love how your body feels against mine.”

“Good. I love how every single part of yours feels against me, too. Including your wings and tail!”

“I’m afraid you liking my body isn’t enough of a reason for me to keep putting up with something that makes me want to kill myself. I have the chance to fix it, so I’m going to take it.” Kat continued hugging me. She was comfy, so I didn’t really care too much.

“It is still disheartening to hear that our lady hates her figure so,” Luna quietly said. “It does little for morale.”

“Well, I hate being a woman too, but everyone seems to love forcing me to do feminine bullshit anyway. That’s bad for my morale. If my subjects can do shit to piss me off, it’s only fair that I can return the favor.”

“I have done no such thing,” Luna said.

“Guilt by association,” I said. “You’re one of my vassals. All my other vassals are guilty. Thus, you get lumped in.”

“Hm. You are a female. Thus, you get lumped in with other females. It seems fair to assume you would be okay with feminine things.” That made Kat giggle.

“Well, you know what they say about assuming.”

“I don’t, actually,” Luna replied. “Who says what about assuming?”

“The human saying is that when you assume, you make an ass of you and me. It basically means that you should never assume things.”

“All of our knowledge is preliminarily built on assumptions. How can our magic theorists find new ways of doing things without first assuming that something is possible?” And that made Kat chuckle.

“The point is, just because I have a vag between my legs doesn’t mean I want to do all kinds of feminine bullshit. But it seems that my opinion matters for very little, I’m afraid.”

“Appearances are important,” Kat said, snuggling me slightly tighter.

“And so is the mental well-being of our lady,” Luna said. “You should not force her to do what she is not interested in. To be honest, Nav has enough gravitas by herself to not need pretty clothes. Her mind has been battered enough. We must care for her, not subject her to more trauma. While I am definitely interested in seeing her all dolled up, I would never do such a thing without her permission.”

“Well, we always had permission,” Kat said. “Navi just likes complaining!”

“You may have always had permission, but it was always regretful and generally speaking, I didn’t enjoy any of it.” With a few exceptions. Sometimes being pretty can be fun…

“You seemed to enjoy yourself at your party,” Kat slyly replied. “And we all know you loved the dress Rarity made you when you became a noble!”

“It would be impossible not to love that dress. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to wear it. Most of you people just enjoy watching me suffer.”

Kat finally let me go and stared at me with pain in her eyes. “I could never want that, my lady! You mean more to me than you could ever know. I just want you to fit in well in Canterlot! As our noble lady, that means dressing up.”

“Fuck fitting in. I’m a wholly unique being at this point. That’ll never happen regardless of how I dress.”

“But… dressing you up is so fun! Doppel and Fleur both adore it!”

“And you don’t?” She replied with another giggle. “Yeah, we’re done talking about this. Luna, take Kat to the fort. Twilight and I will join you when she gets up here.”

“As you command.” Her horn lit up and the two of them vanished.

I finally heard some hooves coming up the stairs. I turned, expecting to see my little Twiggles. Instead, it was Gourd. “Good morning, my lady,” he said with a grin. “I heard you had fun yesterday.”

“You heard right. You also saw right. Do you think it would be possible to use the antenna to radio things in from here to the ground team?”

“No. Between the mountain and the shield, there’s too much interference. We’d have to shove the antenna through the hole in the mountain and if we do that, we wouldn’t be able to see what’s coming.”

“What if you were above the forest?”

“Then we’d be vulnerable to any unicorns in it. If they attack us from below, we’d be falling before we even knew what hit us.”

“Well, at this point, eyes in the sky wouldn’t benefit us much anyway. Not with the entire crater full of trees and rain. And once we clear the fort, most or all of us will be entering the bunker.”

“Hm… I wish we could go with you. I feel useless sitting out here.”

“Having a place we can fall back to is important, especially at night. I’m not sure how large this bunker will be, but it took me hours, possibly even days, to get through the bunker in the Antarctic.”

“Are you sure you should go back down there, my lady?” he asked. “After the last bunker…”

“I am not going to be alone this time.”

“Wouldn’t you feel better with more of us at your side?” he asked with a grin.

“I would if you were actually capable of fighting. How many of you are in practice?” His grin disappeared. “That’s what I thought. At the moment, you’re more useful here, keeping the ship safe and sound. If we ever have any injured, we’ll need a place to send them.” After all, we couldn’t use the so-called surgeon without a way to pay him.

That made him sigh. “I suppose it’ll be like this in Tartarus, too.”

“Just like it was in Africa, South America, Antarctica, and the Crystal Empire. I don’t know why you’re just now complaining about it.”

“You weren’t my lady then.”

“You also hadn’t slept with me then.”

And that put a huge blush right across his face. “W-well, that… that has nothing to do with…”

“Uh huh, sure. You know, I’m not in a hurry. We could maybe go back to your room for a few minutes…?”

“Right behind you!” he immediately replied, his tail wagging.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You should consider going to the Crop. I let them make a cast of my vag, so you could get a fleshlight designed after me.”

“...How did they make a cast of your… lady parts?”

“It was cold, slimy, and uncomfortable. It was a worthwhile sacrifice, though. They told me it’s one of their more popular models. Apparently I’m pretty tight and comfy for most races. I also let them get a cast of my dick. It was extremely popular for a while, but it’s kinda tapering off now.”

“I can definitely attest to your tightness, my lady. And you were quite comfy to cuddle with, too.”

“Good to know.”

“That said, a lifeless toy would be nothing compared to the real thing. You were like putty in my hooves, Nav!”

“And also extremely drunk, which you used to your advantage.” He looked away. Luckily for him, I could finally see Twilight coming out behind him. “You ready?”

“I am,” she replied. “Where’s Kat and Luna?”

“They were bullying me, so I told them to go ahead,” I said.

“I could see Kat bullying you, but not Luna. She seems wholly subservient, at this point.”

“That’s actually true. It was just Kat. Luna took her away so I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. Shall we?”

“What about the princess?”

“She’s studying the changeling ship at the moment. She also wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back. Right now, it’s just miserable in there. I’ll let her chill here for a little longer.”

“Oh, but you’re asking me to go?”

“You’re a lot less delicate. We also might need you to help fix it. Plus you’re cuter.”

“All fair points. Shall we, then?”

“Take us away, Twiggles.” Her horn lit up and off we went.