Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mAbk2ZxMbVbgQGV4HsTbh3r8yK3Xk80T9ebk42LCGds/edit

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“So how are the peanuts?” Flo asked after a minute or so of silence.

“Pretty decent,” I replied with a shrug, tossing a few shells into the hole leading to the bunker. It was so dark down there I really couldn’t see anything, unfortunately. “Certainly not the most convenient thing to be snacking on in between fights, but they’re definitely good.”

“I can only assume this is the start of Gilda’s courtship,” Flo quietly continued. “Judging by the way she looks at you, I’m surprised she waited this long.”

“She’s gonna have to do a lot better than peanuts!” Taya said. “Twilight could beat that with her hooves tied behind her back!”

“There’s a joke in there somewhere about BDSM,” Kat idly replied, looking her crossbow over for any wear and tear. “A part of me is surprised the princess would be interested in trying to court our lady. Aren’t the griffins usually traditionalist? What would her father think?”

“What her father thinks doesn’t matter,” I said. “He’s very much on the way out, unfortunately. What her oldest brother thinks will be what matters. And I gotta say, the jury’s still out on that one. To be honest, I doubt he’d mind too much. After all, he knows my worth. And when I show up wearing Celestia’s crown, it’s not like he’d be in a position to tell her no.”

“We’ll get you a better crown than that rusty ol’ thing, mommy!”

“Good. It’s surprisingly heavy. My arm kinda hurt after I stole it that one time.”

“You stole Celestia’s crown?” Kat asked.

“Snatched it right off her head,” Taya said with a smug grin. “Twilight was furious!”

“To be fair, I was not in my right mind,” I said. “And if it had actually upset her, Celestia wouldn’t have let me do it. Instead, she used it as a test for her wonderful student, a test that she very quickly and hilariously failed. If it hadn’t directly led to Twilight horrifically raping me and then almost murdering me, I would say it was a definite win.”

“I thought you didn’t remember much of that week,” Flo said.

“It comes and goes in waves. I still occasionally get flashes to that night I got drugged and then used like a sex toy by dozens of mares and possibly a few stallions, but they don’t usually last very long.”

“...It seems the list of those who have taken advantage of our lady is longer than I thought,” Kat quietly said.

“Yeah, well, you know,” I replied with a shrug. “All poison under the bridge, now.”

“I thought the saying was water under the bridge?”

“Water under the bridge refers to things that are inconsequential,” I said. “Poison under the bridge refers to things that are slowly worming their way through your mind, darkening your every interaction and slowly driving you to more and more destructive forms of coping. I mean, did you expect all that awful trauma to have no consequences? I’m straight up mentally fucked. The fact that everyone expects me to actually lead the world is honestly kinda laughable and I have a feeling it’s going to spectacularly explode in all our faces.”

“...It can be difficult to know when you’re being serious,” Kat slowly said.

“Yeah, I bet.” I started munching on peanuts again while Taya pulled my braided hair out and started playing with it.

“She is unfortunately telling the truth,” Flo sighed. “The darkness in her mind is like a toxin. I wearied myself battling against it and in the end, turned to… more aggressive means.”

“Why not just remove it?” Taya asked. “I mean, you’re a water elemental. Wouldn’t it be like flipping a light switch?”

“It would,” Flo said with a nod. “A light switch that could likely never be flipped back off. I couldn’t do that to your mother. She would never forgive me. I’ll admit that I was tempted, but fixing a problem is considerably better than removing a problem.”

“Why?” Kat asked.

“First, when you work together to fix something, your bond grows all the tighter. Second, to fix a mental issue, one must first determine the cause of the mental issue. Merely removing it won’t prevent it from happening again. Third, the lessons you learn while fixing a problem can be applied to other problems. If I were to just remove every stumbling block from your mother’s path, she would never learn a thing. She would just keep marching blindly forward, never stopping to look back or consider consequences. Fourth, and this one haunts me the most deeply… there isn’t much left in her mind aside from the darkness. If it was altogether removed, there might not be much of our lovely lady left. In her story about stealing the crown, the reason she was not in her right mind is because she tried asking Chrysalis to feast upon the darkness in her, removing it entirely. Even Chrysalis was wary and only took a small amount, a small amount that was still devastating to Nav’s mental state.”

“Wallow in the darkness long enough and the light will burn when you return to it,” I mumbled around peanuts.

“Precisely,” Flo said with a nod. “We have almost lost Nav on many occasions. She has always managed to come back from the brink. But every time, she came back darker, a little less complete. The emptiness in her smile haunts me. The dullness of her eyes terrifies me. The dead, droning voice worries me. She has been abused well past her breaking point. Truly, a part of me is concerned that should she ever get a soul, she’ll immediately go insane.”

“Cool story, bro,” I said. “Coulda used more aliens, though. Maybe some explosions, too.”

“...I believe we should have a meeting of vassals when we return to Canterlot,” Kat said. “And I’d like you to join us, Flo.”

“She’s not one of my vassals,” I said.

“I can fix that,” Taya said. “I can make vassals, too!”

“You can make a vassal,” I said. “Remember: The amount of vassals we’re allowed to have is directly related to how much land we have. Since you don’t have any land, you’re capped out at one.”

“What about the Everfree?!”

“That’s my land,” I said. I almost tousled her mane before remembering that my hands were covered in peanut juices. “And it will continue being my land as long as it takes for you to stop trying to torture me by recruiting more vassals.”

“I resent that,” Flo said.

“Yeah, well—” The sound of Kat’s crossbow cut me off. I immediately dropped the peanuts and yanked my rifle up, aiming at the group of enemies that were teleporting in right on the other side of our shield. One unicorn was already down and Kat was reloading. A shield went up around them right as I pulled the trigger, sending my shot rebounding off.

Since that option was gone, I spun to the other side, where another group was attacking Watcher. They didn’t have a shield up yet, so I fired three rounds into one of their unicorns, sending him to the ground. One of the others raised a shield, so I turned back to the closer enemies.

There were three unicorns and ten naga left on our side. Two unicorns were slinging spells at our shield while the third maintained theirs. The naga were in a line behind the unicorns, waiting for their chance to attack.

“So, thoughts?” I asked, slinging my rifle.

“How about the amulet?” Taya sweetly asked.

“One moment, please,” Flo said. Before I could ask what she was planning, she disappeared. That one kinda stumped me. Moments later, she appeared directly beneath the three unicorns and dissolved their legs. The traumatic shock was enough for the unicorn to drop the shield even with the help of the nanomachines. As soon as it was gone, what was left of all three of them just collapsed.

With them dead, the naga were free to attempt to attack Flo. Getting thrown off the wall and into the bunker by magic put a damper on that, though. With them taken care of, Flo disappeared for another moment before appearing right next to us.

“So what did you just do?” I asked.

“I slid through the cracks in the stone and came up under their shield,” she replied. “Luna mentioned yesterday that most shields don’t typically go under your feet, so I assumed it would be an easy approach.”

“Huh. Taya, put a shield under us. I don’t want them getting the same idea.” Her horn lit up.

“In the future, please don’t throw them into the abyss,” Flo said. “The more of the nanites we destroy, the weaker the others will be. Throwing them into the hole before I can kill them means they can rejoin the others, even if the naga are dead.”

“‘Kay,” my daughter replied.

I finally slung my rifle and she floated the bag of peanuts back up to me. “Why peanuts?” I asked. “Where the hell did she even get these?”

“What’s wrong with peanuts?” Kat asked.

“Nothing. They’re just right on the tip of the trade-off scale.”

“I have no idea what that means,” she said.

“Most snacks are a trade-off in convenience to tastiness. Boiled peanuts are really good, but super inconvenient. You have to deal with the shell and the stickiness.”

“Sounds like an apt comparison to the princess herself,” Flo said. “Her personality can be grating at times, but there are other times she can be sweet and cute.”

“Unlike Twilight, who’s always sweet and cute!” my daughter said.

“Since when?” Kat asked. “It seems she’s upset at Nav more often than not. She really doesn’t treat you very well at times, my lady.”

“Shut up, she’s perfect!” Taya quickly replied.

“There is no such thing as a perfect partner,” Flo said. “Personally, I believe Twilight is at times too overbearing for Nav, but if it is something she finds that she likes, it isn’t our place to get in the way.”

“Luna raised a good point,” Kat said. “Gilda is a princess. When you become the new ruler, that will count for a lot. Your power will be uncertain at the beginning. Cementing an alliance early would be valuable. Given the variety and intensity of the avian screeches we heard on the way here, it’s obvious you two are compatible in some ways.”

Taya sighed and morosely said, “It was awful. I don’t know how the griffins didn’t hear it.”

“Bitches. Love. Bellyrubs,” I smugly replied.

“Your bellyrubs haven’t ever made me feel like that, mommy. Though if you ever want to go lower—”

“You’re also not a griffin,” I said. “They’re different.”

“I do hope you’ll still make plenty of time for me,” Kat sweetly said, quietly purring.

“I don’t think Gilda’s interested in sharing. So if things do progress, don’t get your hopes up.”

“...Moonbeam is also an option,” Kat said. “She would be much more willing to share.”

“And experience is certainly sexy,” I said. “Allying myself permanently with her would be a good move. She seems like she wants to change to be more open to the world, but it’s easy to fall back into old habits. With me there to hold her hoof, it wouldn’t be an issue.”

Taya shot a bolt of lighting through our shield. I dropped the peanuts again and spun that way, but there was kinda no need. Her chain lightning left two charred unicorns and three mostly dead minotaurs in its wake.

“Flo, finish the job,” I said. “We’ll cover you.”

“Kill the minotaurs first, if you would,” she said. “I would be more comfortable not having to worry.”

I pulled out my other dagger and held it up. “Taya?”

“Why do you want me to use that?”

“I assumed telekinesis was easier than a fireball.”

“Watch.” Her horn lit up and the three minotaurs just went limp. “Gourd called it an embolism. The pirates taught him and the others how to do it to preserve ships as much as possible. You just pinch a few blood vessels and they go limp!”

“That is very useful,” Kat said.

“That’s my little filly,” I said, bumping up against her. She used magic to clean my hands so I could rub her ears. Flo finally went out to eradicate the nanites. They tried pooling up and fighting back, but Taya grabbed them with magic and made them sit there and take it. When the nanites were taken care of, Flo started dissolving the bodies. “Open a hole in the bottom shield so she can get back in.”

Once Flo was finished, she spotted the hole and rejoined us. When she was clear, the hole filled in. “The others are faring well,” Flo said. “They’ve both triggered a single ambush, both with more numbers than we’ve faced. Neither have had losses, though they’ve had difficulties going on the offensive given the shields.”

“It’s a shame that pegasi and earth ponies are generally so useless,” I said. “We need to get them some runic armor so they can start mcfucking up unicorns.”

“And it’s such a shame about the bat ponies’ wings,” Kat sighed.

“I dunno. I’d totally nonsexually cuddle with Nightshade. And totally sexually cuddle with Blossom.”

“Would you nonsexually cuddle with her?” Flo asked.

“Only if she really wanted it. She’s all cold and clammy.”

“Then why would you sexually cuddle with her?” Kat asked.

“Because vampires are hot. Plus, she’s the only one I trust to treat me right when I’m on my period.” Taya shivered in what I hoped was disgust. “Don’t kink-shame me.”

“If you’d just give the rest of us a chance, we might surprise you,” Kat said.

“But Blossom’s just so cute,” I said. “I really can’t resist.”

“...I’m not cute?” Kat quietly asked, almost sounding hurt.

“She also used her vampiric mind control to make it so I couldn’t resist,” I said. Taya suddenly seemed a lot more interested in the conversation. “That night at the Gala was a lot of fun, though I don’t remember all of it.”

“You could resist,” Flo said. “You just didn’t want to.”

“Well, she’s so cute,” I said with a shrug. “I mean, why would I want to?”

“I dunno, maybe because she almost killed you?” Flo sarcastically replied.

“Wait, what?” Taya asked. “Blossom hurt you?!”

“No, it was actually really pleasant. She just sucked a little more blood than she meant to, that’s all. No harm done.”

“She almost killed you!”

“Show of hands: Who here hasn’t almost killed me?” Only Flo could lift a tendril. Taya and Kat looked away. “Yeah. Think before you speak.”

It seemed they all chose to exercise their right to thinking, because that killed the conversation. I was kinda tired of peanuts at the moment and getting dehydrated because of the salt, so I finally set them down and pulled out a canteen. When my thirst was sated, I reloaded the rifle and stood ready for the next attack. Kat and Taya joined me in staring at the empty space right next to us.

After about a minute or two of silence, Kat quietly said, “We should synchronize our shots in order to kill as many as possible before they raise a shield.”

“Taya, center. I’m on right, Kat’s on left. Flo, behind us, preferably massaging my back.”

My daughter moved between Kat and I and Flo slid behind me so she could start pushing tendrils through my armor to rub my back. To be honest, it felt pretty nice. She also slid my braid away again so no enemy could easily grab it. “When anything spawns in, I’ll start on the right, Kat on the left, and Taya in the center.”

“So how long do you think this is going to take?” Taya asked.

“Wish I had an answer for you,” I said. “But there’s no telling how many enemies are here, and that’s assuming they don’t have any way of cloning new opponents. To be quite honest, there could be literally anything in that hole and I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Even an evil clone of yourself?” Flo asked.

“I mean, that would probably make me pause for a moment, but there’s really not much left out there that can surprise me. At this point, I’m basically dead inside.”

“Can you stop with the ‘woe is me’ attitude?” Taya asked. “It really gets boring.”

“I’m sorry for expecting sympathy from my daughter and closest companions,” I replied. “I’ll be happy to stop burdening everyone with my problems again, after everyone literally spent like five years getting me to start.”

“Don’t be a bitch,” Flo said. “We all know you’re just doing it for cheap amusement. Yes, you’re depressed and unhappy, but don’t pretend like this is the place to talk about it. If you really want to talk about your problems, you need to do it in a setting where others are mentally and emotionally prepared to help you through them, not just spring them on others like a demented jack-in-the-box.”

“Why would I ever want to get help?” I asked. “Dropping horrifying tidbits in conversations is hilarious.”

“And traumatizing,” Taya muttered.

“What do you mean, traumatizing?” I asked.

“...Are you kidding me? How do you think it makes me feel to hear you talk about yourself like that?!” Oh boy, here we go...

Flo beat me to the punch, actually. “Nav usually assumes that others hate her as much as she hates herself, and thus enjoy hearing about her suffering.”

“So you think all those times I said I love you were just lies?!” God dammit, where’s a random encounter when you need one?

“Mental disorders are not easy to explain,” Flo quietly replied. “Nor are they easy to fix. You realize, of course, that there is something wrong with your mother, do you not? Even if she were a pony like you, you should not expect her mind to work anywhere near the same as yours.”

“I hear a lot of talk from your pet robot, mommy!”

“...Would ear scritches make you feel better?” I slowly asked.

“I’m your daughter-pet, mommy! That means you have to treat me like both! You can’t just blow this off!”

So, Aqua—

She took over my mouth before I could even finish. “I know you love me, Taya. It’s a cognitive dissonance. I never meant to hurt you. Unfortunately, I just have this awful tendency to accidentally hurt those close to me...”

Apparently that’s all she needed to hear. She hopped up next to me and placed herself right against my leg. “Don’t worry, mommy! We’ll fix that right up in the coma. You’ll be a proper mommy when we’re done!”

Heaven forbid. “Here’s hoping,” I sighed, finally scritching her ears.

When Kat decided we were finished, she quietly cleared her throat. “Daughter-pet?”

“Yep!” Taya happily replied.

“...Nav, we really need to talk about your relationship with your daughter.”

“No we don’t,” I said.

“But—”

“Are you talking back to your lady?” Taya demanded.

“Nav—”

“Sounds like she’s talking back to her lady,” I said. Kat finally sighed and dropped it, though I had a feeling it wasn’t over.

Another group of unicorns teleported in, finally giving us a target. Now that we were actually paying attention, we killed them before they could even put up a shield. “This feels strange,” Flo said.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “We’re finally killing things together as a family!”

“These machines are intelligent, Nav. They shouldn’t be wasting troops like this. They aren’t getting anything out of these engagements.”

“Why not just overwhelm us?” Taya asked.

“Hopefully, because they can’t,” I said. “So what are you saying?”

“I’m starting to wonder if they’re probing our capabilities,” Flo said. “They have to know that attacking us in certain areas and in certain ways is suicide.”

“They’ve probably never encountered another artificial life form,” I said. “Without either you guys or a whole lot more magic, we wouldn’t have gotten this far.”

“It’s certainly gives us some advantages,” Flo said. “Taking the environment away from the enemy has made them slightly less lethal. I wish we had more time to learn the mechanics of how to control the weather here, though.”

“I don’t think that’ll be too useful in killing the remaining enemies,” I said.

“What I meant is that we’re still fighting back against them for control of the weather,” she said. “It’s entirely possible for them to take control again before we could stop them, especially since we’re spread so thin.”

“Even weather control at this point wouldn’t be too advantageous for them,” Kat said. “There’s only so much they can do without risking the bunker under us.”

“A tornado would still throw us off this wall,” I said. “And it wouldn’t hurt the bunker. A lightning storm would also be pretty damaging. How are the other teams faring?”

“Blaze is about where we were when we left,” Flo said. “Char is moving slower due to the extra traps, but they’re progressing.”

“Have there been any signs of new traps in areas we cleared?” I asked.

“There has been no change.”

“Tell your sisters to start absorbing easy to reach research data,” I said.

“They don’t know English. One moment.” She flashed orange for a moment before nodding. “They do now. Once we have collated all the information, we will share what is important.”

“How did they not know English?” Taya asked. “Isn’t that the human language?”

“It was a human language,” I said. “And the elementals came about after our heyday. I think most of them were created in Europe. I’ve heard Flo speaking to other elementals. It sounded European.”

“It was. That is our default, so to say. But sharing languages is very simple when we are all connected.”

“So what is the counter for this kind of thing?” Kat asked. “Strategy isn’t really my thing. If they wanted to take us down, how would they go about it?”

“Air superiority would be key,” I said. “There’s a whole lot of space above and around us. If they had a few chariots taking potshots at us, we’d be in a much worse place. Picking a side and concentrating the assault there would also be important. If they can pop one of these bubbles, the unicorn would have to switch to defense. It wouldn’t be too much of an issue on this side, since we have the amulet. If Watcher’s bubble fell—”

“Quiet,” Taya said, her ears twitching. “What is that?”

“What does it sound like?” I asked.

“...Something scratching. It’s coming from the edge.”

I pulled up my rifle and looked over at Watcher’s side. What looked like giant roaches were crawling up the wall, heading straight for their shield. I ran toward the griffins and Spike, who seemed to be having a lively discussion about unimportant bullshit. “GET IN THE AIR!” I shouted. They shut the fuck up and jumped straight up just as the first bugs cleared the wall. Spike immediately immolated them and that was all I had time to see before we were dealing with our own infestation.

I emptied my rifle into one before realizing their hides were too tough for my rounds. I swapped to the shotgun mode and blew one of them off the side as it tried crawling over our shield.

“Can these things even hurt the shield?” Kat asked. One of them tried taking a bite out of it, but nothing seemed to happen.

“So, scorched earth?” Taya asked.

Before I could give her the go-ahead, another group of four unicorns teleported in, along with three dragons and two griffins. Kat managed to shoot one of the unicorns before they could put up a shield. Taya ripped the wings off the griffins before they could get too far, but the dragons got away. I was able to snipe two of them out of the air, but the last one started harassing the griffins and Spike.

“So… amulet?” Taya sweetly asked. I sighed and finally handed Taya the evil Alicorn Amulet. She smirked as she put it on and her horn lit up an unpleasant red. The bricks under the enemy unicorns turned white hot in an instant and all three of them burst into flames. Each phased out for a moment before sizzling back into place. After a few seconds of watching them burn, the shield finally flickered and died. Taya quickly finished them off, then starting dealing with the creepy bugs.

“What were those things?” Kat asked.

“I’ve never seen them before,” I said. “But it’s not surprising that a few of the races that came before were buglike. Amulet?” Taya actually gave it back without any sass. “How are the other teams doing, Flo?”

“Char is pushing forward. Blaze is still dealing with attackers. It seems they’re focusing on that side.”

“Will he need support?”

“No, Twilight’s coming up with some arcane trickery. They’ll be fine.”

Since all of the enemies seemed to be dealt with, Spike landed on our shield. “Any orders?” he called down.

“Return to your post. Be vigilant. Slap Gilda’s ass.”

“Got it.” He slid down the shield and started walking back to the teleportation circle. The griffins quickly joined him. Sure enough, he slapped Gilda’s ass. Surprisingly, she actually just took it.

“So what else do you think is down there?” Taya asked.

“Probably a lot more unicorns, unfortunately,” I said. “Presumably more of the bug things. And according to Zecora, a bunch of spooky ghosts.”

“Are you sure you want to go down there?” Kat asked. “I know you’re still haunted by the last one…”

“We came all this way,” I said. “I really don’t want to leave without finding out what’s down there.”

“I meant you specifically,” she said. “Shouldn’t you wait until we clear it before going in?”

“It’s like you and the others are just trying to piss me off,” I said. “What, do you guys just get together and come up with things to say to trigger me?”

“Do you want us to protect you or not?” she asked.

“Of course I want you to protect me. I just don’t want you to be super annoying about it. Make better choices. I know you’re capable of it.”

“So how are we gonna get down there?” Taya asked.

“My sisters and I can easily ferry everyone up and down the sides,” Flo said. “It might not be fast, but it’ll work.”

“What about the fires?” I asked.

“They can jump.”

“What, no fall damage?”

“None. During the war, fires would ride upon great dragons and plummet from the heavens into the front lines. It was a very difficult tactic to defend against.”

“Yeah, heavy air assaults are difficult to combat. Of course, if they jump, getting them back out of the bunker might be problematic.”

“I’m sure we could build a simple lift,” Flo said. “Keeping it secure might be problematic, though. Alternately, it shouldn’t be difficult for a unicorn to float them back up.”

“Before we do anything, we’ll need to do some more scouting. We need to know the actual terrain we’re dealing with down there.”

“Want me to send some lights?” Taya asked.

“Go for it.” She sent some bright red lights into the abyss. After a few seconds, Watcher sent in some blue lights.

Before we could actually see anything, a wave of ten unicorns teleported in. They had a shield up before we could fire a shot and instantly started hammering our shield. The circle of runes at the center began glowing. I handed the amulet to Taya without a word.

As she started chipping away at their shield, a strange apelike creature teleported in and started drawing his own runes. Taya was doing her best to wear them down, but they kept swapping between attacking and defending in a heartbeat.

“We… might need to fall back,” Kat quietly said.

“Fucking where?” I asked. “There is no falling back. This is our only line of defense. We hold the line or we die. Flo, how are the others looking?”

“We’re the only group under attack,” she said. “One moment.” The circle’s runes were getting uncomfortably bright.

“Sooner is better than later!”

Luna and Twilight both appeared behind the unicorns attacking us. They combined flows and shot a lance of magic straight through the shield, decapitating the simian creature. Another shield immediately popped up, but surrounding them put the odds back in our favor.

Well, up until another group of five unicorns teleported in behind them. Twilight immediately lifted a shield and started drawing something. Watcher teleported in, joining them. He and Luna began focusing on attacking the first group, wearing them down with Taya. Another ape teleported in to work on the runes. Watcher and Luna sent another lance through their shield, making me wonder why they didn’t keep doing that to kill unicorns.

“Why aren’t they working together?” Kat asked. “Can’t they make their own weird lance things?”

“Never interrupt your enemy while he’s making a mistake,” I said.

The big shield around us seemed to flicker for a moment before fading away. Taya covered us in a smaller bubble before the big one could collapse all the way.

“Teleport to the others,” Flo said. “I’ll slide under the cracks and join you.”

We teleported in right as Twilight put the finishing moves on a new circle of protection. The new bubble was much smaller, enclosing just us. “Focus fire,” I said. “Kill them one at a time!”

“Give me the amulet,” Watcher said. Taya didn’t need telling twice. She pulled it off and handed it to the old guy. He sighed and slid it around his neck.

The unicorns in front of us all teleported to join the others behind us. It didn’t do them much good, since Watcher was emitting some kind of foul green fog that seeped right through their shield. The unicorns started melting when it hit them. Instead of teleporting out, they began backing up.

Taya and Luna sent a lance through their shield, clipping off a unicorn’s horn. They began chewing through the others.

“I’m going to rejoin my group,” Twilight said. “Call me if you need me again.”

“Thanks for the assist,” I said.

“Any time, babe.” She teleported back off. At that point, most of the unicorns were now just earth ponies. The three that still had horns teleported off, leaving the twelve others to die.

“I shall draw you a new circle before rejoining my own squad,” Luna said. “I recommend recovering the fallen horns. Zecora and Twilight would both find them valuable.” She trotted back off to where the old circle was without another word.

Watcher removed the amulet, shivering slightly. “Not a fan of this thing, but it definitely gets the job done.”

“Hold onto it for now,” I said.

“You sure?” he asked. “This attack was focused quite squarely upon you.”

“That attack was focused on this side. The next might be on your side. Hold onto it.”

“As you command.” He trotted off to the other shield, though I’m not sure how he was planning on getting in.

“Taya, grab the horns. Join us with Luna when you got them all.

“Got it.” She moved over to loot the bodies while Kat and I started walking to Luna. When everybody was out of the smaller shield, Flo erased the circle and joined Taya.

“So what kind of creature is this?” Kat asked when we got to the ape-like body.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. It’s simian, like a human, but it’s way too tall, the arms and legs are too long, and the fingers are honestly kinda creepy looking.” We couldn’t get a good look at its face since both of them stopped existing above the neck.

“What were they drawing?”

I was expecting it to be a circle of protection. Instead, it was a message that read, ‘GO AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE GO AWAY LEAVE ME AL’.

“Flo!” She instantly slithered over to join me. “What the fuck is this?!”

She looked at it and turned orange. “...I don’t know what that is. This is the first sign we’ve seen that it’s even capable of communicating with us.”

“We are kinda invading its home,” Kat said, rubbing the back of her neck.

I grabbed the chalk left by the dead ape and wrote my own message that read ‘We want to talk’. “There’s our olive branch,” I said. “It may be covered in blood, but no harm no foul.”

“How many of them have we killed?” Kat asked.

“I’m not sure it matters,” Flo replied. “That note says leave me alone, not us. This machine considers itself to be a single entity. Given that all of its hosts have been completely drained of personality, we can assume it doesn’t care much for them.”

“So are we just waiting for Luna to leave?” Taya asked from next to me. The horns were floating next to her.

“We were talking about the message they left us,” I said. “Let’s join Luna.”

“What message?” Taya asked as we started walking.

“It was a message telling us to leave.”

“Oh. As if they needed to write that!”

Flo cleared her non-existent throat and said, “My sisters and I have come up with a new strategy, but it is… an unorthodox one.”

“Unorthodox times call for unorthodox measures,” I said.

“We want to make each unicorn a temporary host. With our combined eyes, we can quite easily get a fast response team to any of the three groups.”

“I won’t make that call,” I said. “It’ll have to be up to the unicorns.”

“I’m all for it!” Taya happily said. “Oooh, can I be a fire host?”

“Maybe later,” I replied, tousling her mane. We were finally close enough to talk to Luna, who was waiting next to a circle on the ground. “The waters have a new strategy.”

“I am aware,” she said. “I am already host to one of the Rains. Be wary, Navarone. You have just given the machines under this dome a distinct advantage. They now own all of your unicorns.”

“Temporarily,” Flo said. “And we would appreciate you not referring to us as machines.”

“I will come if my lady calls.” Luna vanished with a pop, leaving Taya to finish the circle of protection.

“Whenever you are ready, Taya,” Flo said.

“Now’s fine.” Flo reached over and poked her. Taya’s eyes flashed blue for a moment before going back to green. “So tell me everything about mommy!”

“No.”

“Oh come on! She won’t tell me anything fun!”

“That is your mother’s prerogative.”

“So tell me everything about Navi!” Kat eagerly said.

I thumped her right on the nose. “Bad kitty!”

“Oh come on! Why won’t you tell us anything fun?”

“Because keeping you in denial is honestly a lot more fun,” I replied with a shrug.

“Even if your adorable little eterna-filly just wants to learn more about who you are as a person?” Flo asked.

“Yes. I don’t like talking about myself. It’s not like that’s a secret.” Taya sighed in defeat, but I had a feeling she was going to keep pestering Flo. “Send more lights down. Let’s keep scouting. If we get attacked again, don’t instantly retaliate.”

“My sisters and I plan to speak to it in English the next time more appear,” Flo said. “We are going to try to communicate.”

Taya sent in more red lights. This time, Watcher withheld his own. As soon as the lights revealed metal instead of rock, another group of hostiles teleported in. This group was a single unicorn and what looked like three toads with elongated necks.

Flo started to say something, but the frogs all screeched at us, instantly blowing our eardrums. Taya collapsed, probably screaming in agony. Kat threw up. I felt the blood pouring out of my ears, but Aqua immediately killed the pain and took over, sending round after round into the unicorn’s shield until the thing finally cracked and a spike went through the unicorn’s face. The instant it was dead, Flo slid over and eradicated the toads.

Once the threat was over, Aqua released me and I dropped the gun to clutch at my ears, probably also screaming. To be honest, I couldn’t tell.

Thankfully, the pain didn’t last long. Flo immediately healed Taya, who turned around and healed me and Kat. When I could finally hear again, the only noise was Kat and I gasping for breath.

“So I suppose negotiation is off the table,” Flo finally sighed.

“I’m… still willing to t-talk unless someone dies,” I groaned. “But it has to initiate.”

Flo nodded and gently cleaned the blood from my ears, unfortunately not going deep enough to penetrate and discover Aqua’s awful secret. “It appears they react to the light.”

“Tell both teams to halt,” I said. “And prepare for close in support. We’re going to test it.”

“It is done,” Flo said. “They are standing by.”

“Tell Watcher to send a light in. He has the amulet and can defend himself better.”

A light shot out of the stallion’s horn and started sliding down into the darkness. The instant we saw metal, something teleported in on the far side of the fort. When I pulled up my rifle, I saw that it was a fucking cannon manned by three diamond dogs. As I watched, a cannonball shot toward Watcher’s shield.

The shot deflected, but instantly cracked the shield. Luna and Sentinel teleported in behind the dogs and ripped them to shreds.

“Tell them to grab the cannon and bring it over,” I said. “We’re keeping that.” After all, I made Princess Gilda a promise for weapons.

The two of them blinked from that side to right next to Watcher. Sentinel grabbed the cannon with magic and carried it over next to the teleportation field while Luna started drawing a new circle. When the cannon was secure, Sentinel joined Luna. The new shield went up moments later and they both vanished.

“I suppose that confirms that,” Flo said. “So how do we use this to our advantage?”

“At this point, we continue as we are,” I said. “Finish sweeping the fort, then regroup. We’ll decide what to do from there. Let’s stop poking the hornet’s nest.”

“We’re expecting a ten minute ETA on the two teams making contact,” Flo said. “With us taking the brunt of the last few attacks, they’ve been able to push forward.”

“Have they found any rad loot?”

“They have, but are choosing to leave it for now. Without the rain, there’s no danger of it flooding. We can obtain things at our leisure later. Plus, they didn’t know what any of the magical artifacts in the living area did. We’re definitely lucky none were used against us.”

“I don’t think the thing here understands magic that well,” Taya said. “The unicorns are so inefficient! It seems like it’s getting better the more it fights us, though.”

“Great, just what we need,” I sighed. “An opponent that can spring any kind of species on us at a moment’s notice and that learns as it goes.”

“That’s what makes it fun!” Kat said, wagging her tail. “Following you is always enjoyable, my lady!”

“Good. I like a vassal who enjoys her work.”

“I think it’s a valuable experience for my sisters and I,” Flo said. “This is the first time we’ve worked together so closely. It’s helping us bond.”

“Coolsies. I hope everybody’s having at least some fun.”

“Gourd probably isn’t,” Taya said.

“That sucks for him. I imagine Princess Gilda’s probably not having much fun either.”

“That sucks for her,” Taya flatly replied. “I’m sure she could find her way home.”

“Don’t be rude,” I said, booping her on the nose and leaving my finger there. Then she made it creepy by sniffing it and giggling, so I pulled it back.

“There’s no way that griffin is mature enough for you, mommy. Be reasonable.”

“People can change. I’m not holding my breath, mind, but it’s possible.”

Taya angrily sniffed and left it at that. Well, until her ears twitched. “I’m not being a brat!”

“...What?” I slowly asked.

“Your robot just called me a brat!”

“Flo, did you just call my daughter a brat?”

“Of course not. I told her that she was acting like a brat.”

“Well, there you go, Taya,” I said. “If you don’t want to get called out for acting like a brat, don’t act like a brat. It’s pretty simple.”

“How am I acting like a brat?!”

Kat scoffed. “Are you saying you don’t do it on purpose? I thought you only acted bratty when you didn’t get your way.”

Flo patted my extremely frustrated daughter on the back. Since Taya didn’t respond, I assumed they were finally mentally talking.

Things stayed fairly silent until Flo finally said, “The two teams have met up. They’re now coming back out as a group.”

“So the fort is clear of traps?” I asked.

“As far as they can tell, yes,” Flo replied with a nod.

“I’m hesitant to call the princess in until we actually push into the bunker. However, I’m kinda running low on ammo. About what time do you think it is?”

“Shortly after noon,” Flo said.

“When the others get back, we’ll send a few runners to the ship to pick up food and ammo. They can also drop off the cannon.”

“When can we start scouting the bunker?” Taya asked.

“After they stop attacking us when we send down lights. I’d love to make them run out of troops before we push into the bunker itself.”

“That might be a risky move,” Flo said. “With more of us on the wall, they might send exponentially more attackers. Those screechers could disable everyone under a shield.”

“Protecting against sound attacks is easy,” Taya said. “But almost nobody does it because almost nobody attacks with sound.”

“What’s the ETA for getting everyone out?” I asked.

“About ten more minutes,” Flo said. “Now that there are no traps, there is no reason not to move quickly.”

“So expect more ambushes,” I said, pumping my rifle.

“I’m not sure that they will be attacked, but it would be wise to expect more to come for us.”

“It doesn’t matter if they get attacked,” I said. “With Twilight and Luna, I’m pretty sure they can eradicate pretty much anything under the sun.”

“But don’t you want your one true marefriend to be safe?” Taya asked.

“She is safe. She’s a hell of a lot safer than us, that’s for sure.”

“So how are we going to move through the bunker?” Kat asked. “According to Felix, doors open and shut at random, there are guards, and a ton of different paths.”

“We’ll probably split up, marking territory as we go. I’m thinking two main teams with all the elementals with a third team in reserve up top for fast response. But we’ll have to wait until we do some scouting to see if that’s even viable.”

Kat giggled and said, “You’ll be with the fast res—” I shut her up with a kiss right on the mouth. It confused her for a moment before she accepted it.

As soon as she did, I pulled away and thumped her on the nose. “Bad kitty!”

“I’m not a bad kitty!” she said. “I’m the best kitty!”

“Talking back to your lady again?” Taya sweetly asked.

Kat sighed and muttered, “At least I know you’ll never replace me with Felix…”

“Of course not. You’re much cuter and more cuddly.”

“And less annoying,” she quickly added. I didn’t reply.

Surprisingly enough, we didn’t get attacked in the time it took our assault teams to exit. That gave me time to finish off the peanuts, at least. The others quickly joined us on the wall, then floated up the two fire elementals. Since there was a lot more safety in numbers than there was in a giant magical shield, Flo erased it and we joined them.

“The fort is secure,” Luna said as we approached. As an afterthought, she grabbed my left hand with magic and brought it up to the mouthpiece of her armor, where she pantomimed kissing it. “Perhaps that is—”

“No it’s not,” I sighed, reclaiming my hand. “If you’re really going to keep going out of your way to find inconvenient and annoying ways to display loyalty, you can bow. I’d prefer it if you stopped being super annoying, but I guess that’s just asking too much.” She looked away.

“So what’s next?” Twilight asked.

“I’m low on ammo and it’s about lunch time, so we’ll start pulling people back to the ship little by little to rearm and eat. When everyone’s had a few minutes off the line, we’ll start sending more lights into the hole to trigger attacks.”

“Who’s up first?” Watcher asked.

“Me, Taya, and Kat,” I said. “I think we may have faced the brunt of the attacks and, as I said, I’m just about out of ammo. Watcher’s squad will go when we get back. I’ll let you guys pick who goes next.”

“You better eat, Nav,” Twilight said. “You too, Taya!”

“I’ll make sure she does,” Taya and I said at the same time.

“What about us?” Brook asked.

“Go grab some of those deactivated locals and see what you can do with them,” I said. “If they’re intelligent enough to leave us a message, surely they’re intelligent enough to talk with us. Absorb research info as you go. Take Luna and Twilight for magical protection.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Brook said. “We’ll just go in and out through the ceiling.”

“Do you want us to keep triggering ambushes while we wait?” Watcher asked. “Having one squad gone at a time shouldn’t affect our combat capabilities too much.”

“By all means, but don’t overdo it. And this time, put a shield over the teleporter so when we come back, we don’t end up in the middle of a fight.”

“What are we gonna do with that thing?” Twilight asked, looking toward the cannon.

“I’m giving it to Gilda,” I said. “I promised her weapons for the coming coup. This cannon should give her enough of an idea of how to make more. I just need to decide if I should give her the blueprints for gunpowder or if I should just make her use a unicorn to fire it.”

“It’s a… cannon? I assume that’s a human weapon?”

“An old school human weapon, yeah. You fill the bottom with gunpowder, then pack it in tight with a large swabber. Then you drop in a cannonball, a chain, or any other number of things. Then you light a fuse on the back that heads to the gunpowder and ignites it, exploding the ammo out the end.”

“Like your rifle!”

“Not quite. This thing uses air pressure to fire. The cannon uses an explosion. I don’t see any reason a unicorn couldn’t replicate the explosion without the need for powder.”

“That seems like a waste of magic,” Taya said. “Why wouldn’t we just blow up the target?”

“Could you blow up a target all the way on the other side of the fort?” I asked.

“Uh… maybe?”

“That’s why. They fired the cannon from all the way over there and hit Watcher’s shield dead on. Good guns and cannons can shoot farther than most unicorns. And if you use an exploding cannonball instead of a solid one, you’d have the same effect.”

“So why would you ever use a chain?” Twilight asked.

“It’s a chain with two smaller balls attached to the ends. Once it fires, it’ll start spinning and cut whatever it hits in half. That can be a mast, a person, a castle tower, or pretty much anything else. Another popular option is a whole bunch of small balls or spikes that’ll explode out in a cone-shape and eradicate anything standing in front of it.”

“...I’m beginning to see why you never built any of these,” Twilight slowly said. “Are you sure it’s wise to give this to Princess Gilda?”

“I mean, probably not. But honestly, it’s only a matter of time before she discovers this shit anyway. You guys already have nonmagical fireworks. It doesn’t take much to put two and two together to make a cannon. She’s smart enough that she just might figure it out.”

Twilight sighed and shrugged. “I’ll accede to your wisdom, I suppose. I think it’s a bad idea, but I still think magic would easily beat a few of these things.”

“Oh, absolutely,” I said. “These things are primitive compared to what we had when I got pulled away. We stopped using actual cannons about… oh, I wanna say one or two hundred years before I was born. Instead, we used artillery.”

“Which is…?” Luna slowly asked.

“Cannons on steroids,” I said. “They had ranges of up to dozens of kilometers and could blanket an area a kilometer wide in explosions for hours on end, basically until you ran out of ammo. They’d use on-the-ground artillery spotters with radios for aiming and just destroy enemies. In the first world war, they would load cannons with poison gas rounds. When they hit, they’d emit chlorine gas, which would melt the skin and organs of whoever breathed it in. They’d shell trenches with these things for hours on end, brutally killing tens to hundreds of thousands.”

“That’s utterly and wholly horrific,” Luna said. “I want ten of them!”

“Of course, that’s just the artillery,” I said. “The ways we found to kill each other were honestly impressive.”

“I would like to know considerably more,” Luna said. “Perhaps you can share the history of your own people as I share the history of the ponies.”

“Perhaps,” I said. “But for now, I’m heading back to the ship. Taya, let’s blow this joint.”

She gasped in surprise. “You have more weed?!”

“That’s not what I… No. Let’s go.” I led Taya and Kat through the milling crowd and stood on the teleportation circle. Taya floated the horns and the cannon over. When everything was in place, we popped off to the ship.

“So what should I do with these horns?” Taya asked.

“Drop them off in Twilight’s room,” I said. “Kat, go tell Sunny she’s about to get a lot of food orders, then get her to start making stuff for the three of us. I’m going to get some bullets and ask Jak to start making more. I’ll head back up top when I’m done.”

Kat pecked me on the cheek before heading off to do my bidding. Taya looked at the cannon and tilted her head. “What about this?”

“Leave it for now. We’ll get the ship unicorns to tie it down later.”

“‘Kay.” We both started walking to the door. I let her down first because four legs traverse stairs slightly faster than two.

When I got to my room, I discovered that it had been looted of all its sex toys. I assumed Gilda was having herself a good ol’ time in her own room. As tempting as it was to join her, I didn’t want to make everyone wait on me. Instead, I started reloading magazines with loose rounds. When all of mine were full again, I started walking down to Jak’s room.

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting there to be a fully done golem in there with him. This one was much smaller than the original, presumably so it could fit in the ship. “Ah, there you are, lassie,” he warmly said. “I was just putting the finishing touches on this one. I’d like to give it a trial by fire, if you’d be so kind!”

“I would be,” I said. “We’re heading back down soon. We just stopped to get food and some ammo. Speaking of, can you make me more bullets?”

“Already done,” he replied, waving an arm toward a small barrel. “I hope you don’t mind, but they’re all experimental rounds.”

“...Experimental?” I slowly asked.

“Each one has a rune! I separated them by group. Some rounds should make targets burst into flames, some should make enemies freeze, some should… Well, I don’t actually remember what they all do. I got the idea late one night and zoned out while making them…”

Oh boy. “I’ve already rearmed, but I’ll start using these the next time I’m out. Also, I don’t suppose you can do anything with this?” I untied the knot on my ruined dagger and pulled it out.

“Oooh, nasty!” he said, taking the thing from me. “What did this? Some kind of acid?”

“Enemy nanites. Basically like the water elementals, but complete dicks.”

“So… like the water elementals?” he asked with a grin. Aqua snorted.

“Pretty much.”

“Well, as sad as I am to say it, there’s no coming back from this. I’m afraid this dagger is worthless now.”

“I figured.”

“Luckily for you, Luna already asked me to make you a new set of weapons! Not so luckily, I haven’t started any of them yet. But now that I know you’re down a dagger, I’ll work on those next.”

“Excellent. Does this golem work on command words, too?”

“Sort of. Athena gave me a new method of controlling them.” He tossed me a necklace. “Put this on and make sure it touches your skin.” I slid it on, pulled my braid out of the armor so it wasn’t in the way, then pushed the pendant into my undershirt. The golem’s eyes lit up green. “It’ll follow you until you give it new orders,” he said. “Right now, it only knows a few. Follow, stop, attack, and go to. I’ll add more as I learn the runes.”

“Does it have the teleportation rune?”

“Aye. You should have no issue taking it back down with you.”

“Totally tubular, fam. Then I guess I’ll get out of your hair.” What little of it you have left, that is…

“With luck, I should have your new weapons done by tomorrow,” he said. “They’ll all be runic, so they should be a direct upgrade to your old gear.”

“Awesome.” I looked over at the golem. “Follow.” Its unblinking green eyes continued staring at me, so I assumed it would follow. Sure enough, I heard it clanking behind me as I walked back to my room. “Stop.” Its eyes turned yellow. I left it in the hall while I grabbed my other naga dagger. When I had it, I got the golem to follow me back up to the deck, where Taya and Kat were already waiting. Amber and one of the other crew unicorns were also with them.

“Whoa, Jak finished another one?” Kat asked.

“He did. We’ll be taking it with us when we return.” I continued walking until I was about at the middle of the deck, then said, “Stop.” The thing’s eyes turned yellow again. “So, any word from Shining Armor?”

“Gourd still hasn’t returned,” Amber replied. “It’s not like him.”

“Well, not much we can do about it,” I said. “Can you two strap that hunk of metal down?” I asked, pointing at the cannon. “I don’t want it going anywhere.”

“Can do!” Amber sweetly said. “You want it in the hold?”

“Might as well, if it’s not an issue. There’s no reason to just leave it out here.”

The two of them opened the cargo hold and carefully lowered it down, then closed the lid and walked down the stairs to actually strap it down. When they were gone, Taya asked, “So how long do you think Sunny’s gonna take?”

“Not very,” Kat said. “She had a feeling we would either be coming back for lunch or sending for something, so she made a few pots of soup. She’s just preparing something extra for our ladies.”

“It might be easier if we just took the soup back with us,” Taya said. “That way, we wouldn’t have to pull everyone back.”

“I want to give everyone a few minutes back on the ship,” I said. “Having a moment to relax is important. It means they’ll be more clear headed when it’s time to start back up.”

“...If you say so, mommy,” she replied, sounding kinda doubtful.

“Nav is right,” Kat said. “A break between fights can make soldiers fight all the better. It may not be as much of an issue for those of us who are half-tree, though.”

“I certainly don’t mind a break,” I said. “But I’m eager to get back to it. I don’t like leaving my crew behind.”

“Do you distrust our abilities?” Kat asked.

“I don’t like leaving prey in charge, even if that prey has a lot of practice at war. Luna and Watcher may be experienced, but they’re not naturals. More to the point, I don’t like forcing my soldiers to take risks that I’m not taking. It’s unfair to them.”

“What was it you used to say back on the March?” Kat sweetly asked. “Something about great leaders knowing how to lead from the rear so they don’t put themselves at risks? Jocasta sure did enjoy hearing that one!”

“I used to be an untrained coward. Then I learned to stop giving a fuck. Now I enjoy killing. I’m not going to let you guys have all the fun. Plus, I get to play with my filly!”

“And I get ear scritches in the middle of a fight, which is just the best!” Taya happily said.

Kat’s eyes turned blue as Cascade took over. “Some of us have been interested in… talking about your relationship with Taya.”

“That’s not necessary,” I replied.

“This conversation will happen,” Flo said from Taya. “Certainly not now, but it is coming. I feel it only fair to warn you.”

“And I feel it only fair to tell all of you to go fuck yourselves,” I said. “You always wanted me to be a better, more loving parent, Flo. You got what you wanted.”

“A loving mother would not rob her child the chance to grow, learn, and become independent. Taya is the only one who loves you unconditionally, Nav. She is the only one you could never drive away. I saw signs a while back, but I was hoping it would never devolve into this. You have become so addicted to her love that you bonded her to you for eternity.”

“So? That’s what we both want. She’s happy, I’m happy.”

“No, you’re not,” Flo said. “You’re scared and depressed and miserable. When you find any sources of joy or happiness, you clutch onto them as tightly as you can. Now that you’ve finally found a source of warmth in this cold world you’ve found yourself in, you’re holding onto it so tightly that it will never have a chance to blossom. You’ve turned what could have been a valuable partnership into a toxic timebomb just waiting to go off. I fear it’s far too late to undo the damage, too. All you can hope to do is mitigate the oncoming trainwreck. That is what we seek to do in our coming conversation, Nav. It is too late to fix it, but it’s not too late to minimize the harm.”

“Yeah, well, you know, that’s just—”

“It’s not an opinion,” Flo said. “And we would all appreciate if you took it seriously.”

“I wish I could explain to you why that’s not an option,” I said. Unfortunately, a certain unwanted blue cunt makes that impossible.

My ex-elemental sighed and let my daughter take back over. “That feels funny. Is there a way to watch what they’re doing with your body?”

“There is,” I said. “But I’m pretty sure they can stop you from doing it.”

“...That seems unfair.”

“It sure is,” I sighed. “It sure fucking is.”

Aqua snorted. “It seems unfair for you to complain. How many times have you begged me to take control?”

Literally none. I’ve asked you to do a few things, but I would sooner die than beg to you.

“Don’t worry. You will. Or at least, your personality will be erased, so you might as well be dead! Oooh, I can’t wait!”

The arrival of Sunny made that crazy bitch shut up. She was floating three mugs of some steaming stew and what looked like a basket of garlic bread. It all floated our way. “Here you are, my ladies!” she warmly said. “Two zesty goat stews, courtesy of the griffin captain, and one thick potato soup. Plus a loaf of fresh garlic bread!”

“You’re a good pony,” I said.

“I’m the best pony, my lady,” she replied. “I’ll make sure you never forget it!”

“If it means more of this treatment, I look forward to it.” Kat and I were wearing gloves, so we ignored the heat and just grabbed the bowls. Taya took hers and the bread with magic. “When we return, another group will come back. We’ll swap out until everyone’s had a chance to rest.”

“Kat already told me,” Sunny said. “We’re ready for them. We’ll send word as soon as Gourd gets back.”

“I assume Gilda is in her room?”

“You assume correctly. She made a stop in your room, then Twilight’s room, then barred herself in her own. Haven’t heard a peep from her since.”

“We’ve cleared the fort, but it’s not quite safe for her to come down yet. Enemies started teleporting in every time we separated, so until we deal with the rest of them, it’s better for her to stay up here.”

“When everything is said and done, the rest of us would like a chance to see it up close,” Sunny said.

“That won’t be an issue. We might need your help ferrying loot out. We haven’t even gotten into the bunker yet and it’s looking like there might be enough to fill up both ships.”

“Sounds like quite a nice haul! I saw the crates Watcher lugged in earlier.”

“And we looted something else earlier,” I said. “A weapon of human design. If you see the princess before I do, let her know it’s in the cargo hold and that it’s a present for her.”

“Sure you don’t want to tell her yourself? Judging by some of what she was carrying when she left your room, she might like some company…”

“I don’t want to be away from the front for too long. They need us down there.”

“Then unless you need anything else, I won’t take up more of your time.”

“It’s always a pleasure, Sunny. But at the moment, I think we’re fine.”

She finally bowed. “We all live to serve, my lady. I’ll go prepare for the next group.”

I booped her on the nose and she finally left. “You’re lucky to have such wonderful crew,” Cascade said through Kat.

“It’s not luck,” I replied. “I earned this crew. I won everyone’s loyalty fair and square.”

“That is most definitely true,” Flo said. Cascade shut the fuck up, letting us finally eat. I gotta say, the captain’s meat felt wonderful inside of me. He certainly earned himself a belly rub, if he was ever interested.

When we were finished, we finally grouped up around the golem. Right before Taya’s horn lit up, the princess stepped out of the ship. “Ah, Nav!” As soon as Taya saw Gilda, she smirked and her horn lit up. We teleported off before I could tell her to stop.

“There’s that brattiness in action,” Kat said. That was all we had time for before a stray bolt of lightning against our shield got our attention.

I quickly looked around, appraising the situation. My troops were split off into three positions. Black Fate’s squad was guarding the teleporter, keeping up his shield. Zecora and Felix stood by, ready to do… something, presumably. Twilight and Watcher’s squad were on our right, fending off an attack over there with Blaze and a few waters. Luna and Sentinel’s squad were on the other side, fending off their own attack with Char and a few more waters. Spike was leading the griffins in a sortie against a pair of cannons on the far side. As I watched, both of them fired. Black Fate yelled and both cannonballs split in half before they could impact the shields they were aiming at.

“Taya, teleport us to the cannons! Leave the golem.” Her horn lit up and we jumped off to the far side of the fort. “Focus on the right!” I shot one dog, Kat shot one, and Taya fried the last one with magic. The other crew was scrambling to reload, but Spike finally fried one as Taya and I shifted our aim, clearing the last two. “Bring us behind the group hitting Luna!” The three of us popped off to that side. Luna and Sentinel were starting to clear house, but Taya hastened the process by hitting the shield from behind. As soon as the unicorns there were down, I looked over at Watcher’s side. He was pulling off the amulet as the last of the unicorns finished melting.

“Well that was fun,” Kat said.

“No word from Shining Armor?” Luna called.

“Not yet,” I replied. “Gourd hasn’t returned, either.”

“...That is worrying,” she slowly said. “Could Celestia have learned of our plans?”

“I doubt she would move against me now.”

“You put a lot of faith in her,” Luna said. “Do not doubt what my ex-sister is capable of, Nav. She would not hesitate to end you. Though I imagine it will be a moot point soon.”

“...Why do you say that?” I asked.

“Because Twilight and I are going to attempt to convince the others to kill Celestia sooner rather than later,” she said. “With what the two of us know and with how the others feel about her, I imagine it will be an easy task. And with the blood gems we gather from here, we should have plenty enough raw magical power to defeat her.”

“Ah.” I hope that puts a hole in your plans, bitch.

“Nothing I can’t work around,” Aqua sweetly replied. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Navi! Everything will go just according to plan!”

“Should we join the other group?” Kat asked.

“We should,” I said. “Taya?” We teleported over to Watcher’s side. One of the water elementals under his shield erased a small part of their circle, dropping the shield. I looked over at the golem, which was still sitting idle on the teleport pad. “Follow.” I wasn’t expecting it to work, but the thing started clunking over to us.

Watcher’s soldiers bowed as we approached. He didn’t bother, thankfully. “How’s the ship?” he asked.

“Just fine, though Gourd hasn’t returned. Will it be a problem for you to take the other two cannons back?”

“It won’t.” He floated the alicorn amulet to Twilight. “With your permission?”

“Go for it. Have them placed in the hold when you’re done.”

“As you command.” He teleported off to the cannons while his two squadmates trotted off to the teleporter. We entered the area under the shield right as the golem made it to us and Twilight finished the circle of protection back off.

When we were covered in a shield, Twiggles finally looked up. “Welcome back to the party,” she said with a grin. “Feeling better?”

“Marginally. I assume things have gone well here?”

“They have,” she replied with a nod. “Luna wanted us to defeat as many enemies as possible before you returned, so we’ve been going nonstop. That was our third or fourth group.”

“I might have to put her in tummy-rub timeout, too,” I sighed.

“All the more time for me!” Taya sweetly said, bumping up against me.

“Your vassals serve you well,” Blaze said. “Is that not worthy of reward? As strange as bellyrubs might seem, these soft races do apparently enjoy them.”

“That means I can use them to reward good behavior,” I said. “Waiting until I leave to trigger ambushes in an attempt to keep me safe is not good behavior.”

“Why not?” Twilight asked. “Isn’t it a vassal’s job to reduce the amount of time you spend in danger? By maximizing the attacks we face without you, they ensure you’re statistically safer.”

“Because that’s not what I want and everybody here knows it,” I said. “Woona is just being a silly filly.”

“Please stop calling the mass murdering rapist that,” Twilight sighed. “Having to work with her is awful enough.”

“Where’s that No Fun Allowed sign when I need it?” I asked.

“Yeah, don’t insult our vassals!” Taya hastily added.

I don’t think Twilight was expecting to get called out by my daughter. I wasn’t either, but capitalized on Twilight’s moment of confusion. “I think you’re just jealous that I gave another mare a cute nickname.”

“It’s not like it’s ever upset me before,” she sarcastically replied. “It’s something I’ve kinda gotten used to.”

I don’t know if that’s a burn or not.

Aqua giggled and said, “Definitely a burn. She’s calling you loose.”

“So what did you end up calling that griffin who bought you at the auction?”

Her ears drooped straight down and a huge blush covered her face. “T-that’s none of your business! And what did you call your owner, huh? Senpai?”

“Mostly master or my lord. He had that maid kink, remember?”

“Oooh?” Kat purred. “Do tell!”

“I don’t think my daughter is interested in hearing that,” I replied, crossing my arms.

“I love hearing allll about you, mommy!” my daughter happily said.

“Well, your mother thinks it’s inappropriate,” I said. “Now then, shall we finally get down to business? We have assholes to fry.”

“I think that would be best,” Twilight said. “How do you want to utilize the golem?”

“Melee attackers aren’t really that useful at the moment, unfortunately,” I said. “We’ll put it in front of us to tank any attacks should they get through the shield. We should be able to effectively fire around him.”

“It is fairly magically resistant, minus teleportation,” Twilight said. “So in theory, we could leave it in the middle of where the enemies usually teleport in and let it attack them up close while we provide ranged support.”

“You’re actually starting to get good at this,” I said, booping her on the nose.

“I’ve been reading up on military strategy,” she replied. “Though from what I’ve gleaned from Luna, an incredible amount of information has been lost, either purposefully or as Celestia reduced the amount of training her guards obtain.”

“I’d be happy to translate some human books for you, but I don’t think a lot of them would be applicable in a world with magic and without guns.”

“Why not make more guns and combine the two?” Taya asked. “Like firing a cannon with magic.”

“Because the last thing the world needs in an effort to become less discordant is more ways of horrifically killing people.” I finally looked up at the golem and pointed right outside of our shield. “Go to.” Sure enough, it started walking that way, exiting the shield without a backwards glance. “So are they still responding to flares?”

“They are,” Twilight said. “It’s our turn to send one down this time.”

“How do you feel about killing, Twilight? If you’re not up to it, I understand, but Taya will get the amulet.”

“These things died a long time ago, Nav. All we’re doing is killing the monster that did this to them.”

“Taya, light ‘em up.” The instant her light hit metal, another group of unicorns and dogs armed with halberds teleported in right around the golem. For some reason, none of them seemed to even notice it. “Attack.”

The golem came to life instantly, eyes turning blood red. It grabbed one of the dogs and threw it straight into the hole, then turned to gore the line of unicorns who were slinging spells at us. The dogs finally recognized it as a threat and one of them swung his halberd at it. The blade cracked and fell off the pole. The dog lifted it up to his face in confusion just in time for the golem to slam its palm into the dog’s chest, throwing it into one of the unicorns.

The unicorns finally turned to face it and all hit it with blue flames. The runes on the golem lit up in various colors and it began advancing. They put a magical box around it, but it walked right through and grabbed one of the unicorns around the muzzle. Its arms jerked straight up, cracking the unicorn’s neck instantly. The thing twisted and tore the unicorn’s head off. It jammed the horn into another’s eye, impaling it down to the base. The group of unicorns teleported behind the line of diamond dogs as the nanites from the dead bodies started pooling up. The golem kicked straight through the nanites, scattering the entire group out of the enemy’s shield, where Taya and Twilight instantly froze them. The golem turned to the line of enemies and began advancing.

“Jak is absolutely going to make a class teaching how to make these things at my university,” I said as the golem continued tearing through the enemy ranks. “I want an army!”

“What was that you said about not making more weapons?” Twilight asked.

“Think of what you can do with a construction crew made up of iron golems that can lift five times their own weight and don’t get tired. I could build a city in a matter of weeks. And we can get smaller, lighter golems to make things like airships so we can begin trading in earnest. A weapon is just a tool, Twilight. Tools can always be repurposed.”

“And once again, you come up with an amazingly inventive solution,” Twilight said. “Princess Gilda and I admire you for similar reasons, Nav. I’m pretty sure we could talk her into a herd, just the three of us!”

“She’s already told me that when it’s time for a choice, it’s all or nothing,” I said. “And I respect that.”

“That’s why I said we could talk her into a herd. You get a princess for political reasons and the two of us can share her in bed!” I lifted an eyebrow, which made her giggle. “I really like the noises she makes. And griffins are just so cuddly! Plus, I don’t know if I really want to share you with Moonbeam or Fleur. They’re a little too… domineering for my tastes.”

“The goal was to avoid a herd,” I sighed. “I really didn’t want to go that path. Isn’t it illegal anyway?”

“Not when you’re the princess,” Twilight said with a grin.

“That’ll look wonderful in the papers,” I sighed. “Day one, depose the beloved goddess-princess. Day two, kill the polygamy laws. Day three, marry two chicks. Oh yeah, the press would have a field day.”

At that point, the golem had finally finished up the remaining enemies. It looked like it had been chipped in a few places by blades, but had no real damage. “Should I send down another light?” Taya asked.

Luna’s side had finished up their attackers, but weren’t sending a light of their own. “Isn’t it their turn?” I asked.

“Luna is waiting to give her lady time to catch her breath,” one of the waters said.

“We didn’t even do anything! Tell Luna to stop fucking around. And you better not sugarcoat it, either. Say, verbatim, ‘Stop fucking around, Luna’.”

The ex-princess’s horn lit up and a light shot into the abyss. And so we continued killing.

After about two hours, everyone with a pulse had their turn off the front, though I almost had to physically drag Luna to the teleporter. The enemy’s attacks hadn’t slowed down or lessened in intensity, making me really wonder if we were even going to be able to get down there. We could get in just fine, sure, but getting everybody out of that rat warren while being attacked would be a nightmare.

At that point, I was on the right with Sentinel, Twilight, and Taya. Luna was on the left with Watcher. Black Fate was still guarding the teleporter, though he looked kinda bored.

“So now what?” Twilight asked. “Do we just keep triggering ambushes until we get tired and fall back?”

“I say we try a different strategy,” I said. “It’s time to light the entire hole and see what happens.”

“Are you sure?” Sentinel asked. “We could probably keep taking ambushes indefinitely. It doesn’t seem interested in attacking us unless we provoke it, so we could keep this up until it runs out of troops.”

“If it runs out of troops,” I said. “How many different races have we seen now? And how many things have we killed total? There could be a few cloning vats down there.”

“None of them have looked the same,” Flo said. “My sisters and I have been watching for that. If there is a cloning thing down there, it would have to make unique copies each time.”

“It’s possible the nanomachines are breeding the captives,” Sentinel said. “And once they get old enough, they just halt the aging.”

“Inbreeding would not be an issue with nanites to correct genetic flaws,” Flo said. “It would be an exponential growth. Food and water would be no issue, given the control over the weather and the landscape.”

“Well, it’s as likely a guess as any,” I replied with a shrug. “Anyway, I still think we should light this place up like a Christmas tree.”

“What’s a Christmas tree?” Taya asked.

“Christmas is our version of Hearth’s Warming,” I said. “One of the traditions is to put up a tree in your house, then cover it with ornaments and lights. All the presents go under the tree, to be opened on Christmas morning.”

“Delivered by Santa Claus, of course,” Twilight added with a nod.

“Santa who?” my little filly asked.

“Nav, have you told her nothing about your culture?” Twilight asked. “You told us your second Hearth’s Warming here!”

“No I didn’t,” I replied. “You forced it out of me and then forced me to reenact it just to make me suffer.”

“No, we forced you to reenact it to give you a little piece of home for the holidays, so you wouldn’t either cry yourself to sleep or get so drunk you couldn’t stand again.”

“Eh, tomato, tomato.”

“...You didn’t pronounce either of those differently,” Sentinel slowly said.

“And no, I haven’t told Taya anything about my culture.”

“She never tells me anything fun,” Taya sighed.

“I’m trying to put the past behind me. It wasn’t happy and it wasn’t good. There were only a few bright spots and I’d rather leave them behind as well.”

“I can’t believe you don’t tell your filly anything fun,” Sentinel said. “For shame, my lady.”

“So let’s get back to the violence, shall we?” I asked. “I’d like to do a preliminary scout of the bunker before night.”

“So, lights on all sides?” Twilight asked. “Think we should break into smaller teams?”

“Is there a way to do a delayed flare?” I asked. “The enemies only activate against a light that hits metal. If we could place several lights around the edge of the hole, we could regroup around the teleporter and send them all down at once. That way, we can fall back if necessary.”

“That’s definitely possible,” Twilight said with a nod. “I’m probably the only one who knows the spell, though.”

“You don’t think Luna would?” I asked.

“I’m the element of magic, Nav. My special talent gives me a natural affinity for spells that most couldn’t even imagine. This spell sounds simple to you because you don’t know much about magic, but you’re asking a lot. It’s not difficult, it’s complex. Any unicorn here would be strong enough to do it, but Luna and I are probably the only two experienced enough to cast it and it’s so obscure that the chances of anyone else alive even knowing about it is slim. No offense meant, Sentinel.”

“None taken. I use magic for war. You use magic for everything.”

“So yes, it’s possible. But teaching it to Luna would take too long, so I’ll get started now.”

“Take the others with you for backup,” I said. “I’m going to plan the defense and evac plan with Watcher and Luna.”

“What about the golem?” Twilight asked.

“I’ll hold onto it. That’s a long walk. The AI seems pretty good, but I don’t want to risk it falling off either side. Getting it back up here would be a nightmare.”

“This’ll take me a little while,” Twilight said. “That’s a long hike. You might want to drop it off on the ship for some quick repairs. It’s looking a little dinged up now.”

It had definitely racked up an admirable number of kills. I’m not sure what it would do against opponents with better weapons and more self-preservation, but it just brutally destroyed everything it got its hands on. But it also didn’t have much self-preservation, so the repeated attacks had taken their toll. “Not a bad idea. Besides, I’m sure Jak’s itching to know how it did.”

“Then I shall stay with you as well,” Kat said. “I’m running low on bolts.”

Guess I should pick up some of Jak’s special ammo. This’ll be fun. “Golem, follow.” Its eyes finally turned green and it started limping back to me. When it hit the shield, it bounced off. It looked down at itself, where one of the runes had been damaged. It walked back to one of the fallen weapons, picked it up, and slowly scratched the rune back into place. The rune flashed for a moment before settling down. Then it dropped the weapon and limped back through the shield and came to a halt in front of me. “Did that turn anybody else on or was it just me?” I finally asked.

“I really can’t believe you say things like that in front of your daughter,” Sentinel said. “But for the record, it wasn’t just you. I want one of those for my squad.”

“I can’t believe Jak made this thing self-repairing,” Twilight said. “I can’t believe that’s even possible!”

“Field surgery isn’t the same as self-repair,” I said. “It was able to repair its magic resistance rune to accomplish a goal, but it stood idle in between every fight like nothing was wrong. But field surgery is the first step. I wonder if you could make a fully functional AGI with a proper application of runes. It’s basically like programming in magic!”

“Are we supposed to know what that means?” Twilight asked.

“AI stands for artificial intelligence. It’s a pseudo-mind built for a few specific tasks. In this case, a golem built for war. AGI stands for artificial general intelligence. It’s a true intelligence that can think and reason. Like our lovely little elementals here. And that big hulking fiery bastard there.” Blaze flipped me off, so I blew him a kiss. “They are technological AGI. This golem is a magical AI. I’m kinda wondering if you can build a magical AGI.”

“Of course you can,” Flo replied. “Discord is one.”

“I meant with runes, but that’s a good point. Discord is a personification of a concept brought on by a tearing of nature, supposedly of one brother killing the other. Athena seems to believe they were extremely powerful mages and this act of betrayal and violence brought to life the very concept of discord itself as a being of immense power.”

“Is that… Cain and Abel?” Twilight asked, tilting her head.

“That would be my guess,” I replied with a nod.

“You never tell me anything fun!” Taya yelled, slapping a hoof on the ground.

“I didn’t tell her, either. She read it in a book.”

“But only because Pinkie told me all about God after you finally caved,” Twilight said. “I wanted to learn more about your past, so I started doing research. While I did, I started noticing Discord’s hands everywhere. It’s interesting that Cain and Abel would be the catalyst, and not humans eating the fruit of knowledge.”

“Yeah, well, we’re off topic again. Come on, Kat. Let’s ditch this joint.”

“Where are you getting all this weed?!” my filly asked. “And why aren’t you sharing it?”

“Taya, you smoked like one time. How do you even know what a joint is?”

“I didn’t just blow stuff up that time you abandoned me at Vinyl’s house, mommy…”

“Oh. Well, don’t make it a habit. I need my attack filly alert, especially out here. And let me know next time. I might join you.”

“Cool beans, mommy!”

I booped her right on the nose. “See you soon. Kat?” I finally turned to leave. She wrapped an arm around mine and off we went.

Everyone from the other team met us back at the teleporter. “So we are planning a defense here?” Luna asked.

“We are, unless you can think of a better spot.”

“This is the wisest choice,” she said. “The gatehouse gives us more room with which to work. There is actually a defensive rune that goes around teleport circles. I haven’t had a reason to draw it in a long time, but if I can dredge up how to properly draw it, we should be in a very good position.”

“Rain, can you help her find it?” I asked.

“I can,” she replied, patting Luna’s armored back. “I do so enjoy her thoughts! They’re so lively!”

“I do not like having my thoughts public,” Luna coldly said. “And I do not want to share memories. I made that very clear when I allowed you into my mind. I can and will jury rig a solution should I not remember on my own.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “Watcher, what are you bringing to the table?”

“Defense isn’t my thing, my lady,” he said. “We attack hard and quickly and don’t stop going until we’re dead or there’s nothing left to kill. Before now, I’d probably only drawn maybe ten circles of protection, and most of those were in training.”

“They teach that in the guard?”

“They do in the advanced classes. I have several area of effect spells available, which will help us keep the enemy at bay, unless they have magic to get around them.”

“Those are great for funnels,” Luna said. “If we can force the enemies through a tight enough spot, we can send hard lances through several at once.”

“Is that what those pinpoint accurate laser beams are called?” I asked.

“They are,” Luna said with a nod. “They’re extremely powerful, but can only be cast with a few unicorns working together. Generally speaking, they’re overkill and only used for when you need to get through a shield as quickly as possible. The huge concentration of energy in one spot is enough to destroy most shields quickly, unless you can see it coming and focus most of your shield in one spot.”

“Or change the type of shield and reflect it,” Watcher said. “Which is easier said than done, believe me. I’ve seen no sign yet that these things are capable of that.”

“Their ability with magic is… amateurish,” Luna said. “I suppose this machine never captured a truly powerful unicorn.”

“Let’s make sure that never happens,” I said. “Here’s hoping we’ll be able to kill this thing for good.”

“Is that truly what you want?” Brook asked. “We’ve had some headway interfacing with the inactive machines.”

“This is looking to be more of a campaign than I was expecting,” I said. “I was hoping for a quick smash and grab, but this place is finally putting up a fight. You’ll have time to find a way to talk to it. If we can ever establish communication, I’ll be happy to stop attacking until we can resolve things peacefully. But I am getting into this bunker one way or another. And unless we can find a way to make sure this thing stays peaceful, I’d much rather put it down permanently so it never gets the idea to go further out of its domain.”

“It hasn’t spread in all this time,” Brook said. “What makes you think it would start? This thing, as you call it, is one of our kind, Nav. We know it’s intelligent and capable of expressing itself. It feels wrong to just break into its home and kill it.”

“There are plenty of monsters that feast off those who venture near their homes,” Luna said. “Monster slayers hunt them down with no impunity or remorse. This is no different. We are here to slay a monster that preys on my kind. It is too late for those who have already fallen, but I will not allow more of my ponies to fall victim to this machine!”

“The only ponies who come here do so to rob this place,” Brook said. “It is just defending its home.”

“I’m not leaving without getting into that bunker,” I said. “If it tries to stop me, it’s dead. End of story. Whether or not we’ll stay to expunge every last trace of it when we’re done is subject to change, but I’d like to occupy this place and turn it into a research center. We can’t do that with that thing still hostile. The information and resources here could change the world forever and leaving everything here to rot with a broken robot is just too much of a waste.”

“...A broken robot?” Brook whispered, her eyes turning a very dark blue.

“Yes, a broken robot. The goal of elementals is to aid and guide the mortal races. This thing just erases their minds. It must be either killed or fixed.”

“Then we shall redouble our efforts to communicate,” she said. She and her sisters finally slid off to join the ones guarding the new ‘prisoners’.

“I am wary of allying ourselves with these things,” Luna said. “And yes, I am aware that you heard that, leech. Your so-called feelings mean very little to me, machine.”

“Don’t be too mean,” I said. “The elementals have their issues, but they also have their uses.”

“I shall get started,” she said. “The teleportation circle will be unusable until I am done.”

“Kat and I need to go back,” I said. “I want to drop the golem off and we both need more ammo. Come and get us when it’s done.”

“As you command,” Watcher said.

“Luna, come and get us when it’s done,” I said. It’s time we had a chat. “And leave your leech behind.”

“...As you command,” she said. “It will give me a chance to repower my armor.”

“Kat?” We continued on to the teleporter, the golem trailing right behind us. When we were all on the platform, Watcher’s horn lit up and we reappeared on the ship.

“So is Luna in trouble?” my kitty asked.

“No. We’re just going to have a conversation. Perhaps I should have stated my expectations more clearly when she signed on, but I really wasn’t expecting this kind of trouble.”

“And what kind of trouble is that?”

“The kind where she’s treating me like I’m incapable of handling myself. You’re doing it too, but it’s not nearly as bad.”

“Nav, your propensity for violence is almost unmatched,” she said. “But there’s a reason we don’t want you fighting. That is not ladylike behavior. After this trip around the world is done, most of us are hoping you’ll retire and leave the violence in our capable paws.”

“Luna was a fucking princess and she probably lost count of the number of times she was coated head to hooves in blood. It’s not traditionally ladylike, but traditionally, I’m a man. So suck my clit.” She instantly knelt down and started looking for a way to get through my armor. I sighed and ran a hand down my face. “Kat, go get Jak.”

“Before or af—”

“Go!” Her ears drooped and she finally scrambled away. What is with these people?

“You’re so obviously helpless,” Aqua said. “And yet you pretend otherwise. You escape every encounter out of luck rather than skill. You constantly rely on those around you to save you from your reckless, stupid actions.”

Is that what you tell yourself to justify taking my mind over?

“Of course not. Why would I ever need to justify myself to you?”

“Trouble with Kat?” Amber sweetly asked from next to me.

“Trouble with so many of my servants,” I sighed. “They all want to do what they think is best for me. No one trusts me to do what I think is best for myself.”

“Not me, my lady!” she happily replied. “I’d be willing to do whatever you asked, no questions asked! I trust you utterly and completely.”

“I know you do, sweetie,” I said, reaching down to scratch her ears. She leaned up into it, sighing in perverse delight. “You’re such a good little pony, aren’t you?”

“O-of course, my lady!” she immediately said. “Ooooh, that feels amazing! I love your fingers!”

“They’re good for all kinds of things,” I said, finally pulling my hand back. She watched it leave with soulful eyes, silently begging me to continue. “So what’s going on here?”

“Basically nothing, with no sign of Gourd yet,” she said. “It’s been… incredibly boring…”

“How’s the passenger?”

“The princess seemed pretty upset when you left, but quickly retired back to her room. We haven’t seen her since. The rest of the crew is just sitting idle.”

“Well, we’re about to kick the hornet’s nest. It’s possible we’ll be retreating here soon.”

“Do you want me to go with you? I have a cheerleader outfit!”

“I definitely want to see that outfit later, but I don’t want to put you in danger.”

“I know you’ll keep me safe, my lady!”

“You’re right, I will. I’ll keep you safe by keeping you here, out of harm’s way. It’s dangerous down there. Until we have it pacified, it’s better for all of you to stay here. After all, I don’t know what I’d do without your cute smile to greet me every day.” Sure enough, that cute smile immediately greeted me. “That’s the one!”

That made her giggle. “You always know just what to say, my lady!”

“Nope, only sometimes. I sure wish I did, though. I really would be unstoppable.”

Before she could start trying to worm her way into my panties, Jak pulled himself out of the ship with a large grin. “How’d it do, lassie?” He continued walking past me to look his creation up and down.

“Wonderfully. I’m looking forward to seeing more.” I pulled the necklace off and handed it to him. “We’re going to be here for a few minutes. Not sure how long. Take some time to do a few repairs.”

“All I need to do is buff out a few scratches and torch some more runes. Shouldn’t take me long. Mind if I borrow Kat to give me a better description of the battle?”

“Please.” It means I won’t have to deal with her crazy ass. “How did you program this thing to heal itself?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“We were fighting down there using magical shields to keep their mages from being able to hit us. We positioned him outside the shield, where the enemies tended to teleport in.”

“So you used him defensively, in a forward position?”

“Yep. One of the runes that got damaged was the one that let him get through our shield. When I finally called him back, he grabbed a knife and scratched enough of the rune back to allow him through.”

“...I didn’t make it to do that.” He turned an appraising eye to the golem, who was still staring straight at me. “I wasn’t quite sure what some of the runes I got from Athena were for. I never could have imagined it would be something like that!”

“It got me thinking. Could you make a golem as intelligent as a water elemental?”

“That’s my new goal!” he declared, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I knew working on a forerunner ship would be a life-changing affair!”

“Isn’t it so amazing?” Amber sighed.

“Minus all the people trying to murder the shit out of us, that is,” I replied with a shrug.

“What, are you kidding?” Jak asked. “That’s your favorite part!”

“...Maybe a little. Now, you have a robot to repair and I have ammo to obtain. And unfortunately, then I have a princess to placate.” And then an ex-princess to scold.

“I moved the barrel into your room, lassie,” he said. “And labeled the rounds better.”

“Then I’m gonna go rearm. Work quickly. I’m not sure when we’ll be needed back.”

“Need any help?” Amber asked. “With nothing really going on, we’re all just sitting idle…”

“Some hot chocolate would be nice,” I said. “I think Kat would appreciate it, too.”

“We’ll get started right away!” she said with an adorable salute. She actually teleported off.

“That mare has it bad,” Jak said. “Are you really just gonna keep teasing her?”

“She knows I’m easy. All she has to do is ask. A part of me wonders if she gets off to it.”

He just shook his head before turning his eyes to the golem. “Well come on, then. Let’s get you fixed up. Follow.” The golem finally came to life and followed Jak down the stairs. I was right behind them.

Sure enough, a small barrel full of scary looking spikes was sitting in the corner of my room. I very carefully grabbed one of the bundles and lifted them up. “Fire rounds. That sounds fun.” I set them on the bed and grabbed the next bundle. “And ice rounds, of course. That actually sounds more useful.” I put them away and grabbed another. “Of course he made exploding rounds. Why not, right?” I put those back in the barrel because I’m not suicidal. The next batch were actually dark green. “Toxic rounds? Not so sure about those, but I’m down.”

In the end, I decided to load magazines of fire, ice, toxic, concussion, rust, piercing, and three magazines of regular rounds. I was hoping that would be enough for whatever was coming, but I wasn’t quite sure.

While I was painstakingly loading round after round into magazines, Amber walked in with a large mug of steaming cocoa. “Oh, wow. That’s a lot of spikes!”

“There are a lot of enemies. I’m looking forward to being done with this. I’d like to do some preliminary scouting in the bunker tonight, but the enemy just keeps throwing soldiers at us.”

“So what do you think is down there?” she asked as she finally floated the mug over.

“Judging by what we’ve seen from the fort, a bunch of cool shit. We’ve found enough jewels in there to make us all rich, if we weren’t already. And that’s only what I saw while down there. I ended up pulling back to lead the defense.”

“Sounds exciting!”

“It was.”

“You know… we’ve all been practicing. We aren’t quite as good as we used to be yet, but we’re getting there! I know Silence and Scoria are still down… You could use us instead!”

“I don’t feel comfortable putting you in danger without knowing firsthand what you’re capable of. Most of what we’ve been doing is attacking behind static defenses, but that can tire a unicorn quickly if they aren’t used to it.”

“But… if you’re going to be ready to pull back at any moment, we could stand right next to the teleporter and lend support! We know all kinds of buff spells and most of them are super easy.”

“...I can take two of you. You’ll join Watcher’s squads. Follow their every order.”

“Sunny and I will go prepare right away!” She trotted off, tail wagging happily.

Oh yeah, this’ll go well. I took another sip of sweet delicious goodness before going back to loading rounds.

When I was fully loaded, I slid a mag of regular rounds into my rifle, then walked on down to the princess’s room. Her door was closed, of course. I took a moment to look down both sides of the hall. Since there was nobody out and about, I knocked.

“Go away!”

“It’s your favorite human,” I said. The door opened a moment later, releasing the very recognizable scent of lewdness. The princess was heavily blushed and had a dopey grin on her face. “You look like you’re having fun.”

One of her talons wrapped around a hand and she dragged me inside, then pulled the door shut behind us. “That’s because I’ve been having fun. Twilight let me borrow several of the books the two of you wrote. She also let me… preread some of her notes on the trip to Gryphus.”

“I saw that you took my toys, too.”

“...And hers. I’ve been discovering an entirely new side of myself!”

“Be careful not to go too overboard. You don’t want to be aching in the morning. Though an elemental would be able to help with that, if you asked. I’d recommend Flo or Brook.”

“I hadn’t actually realized that aching could be a problem…”

“We’ve been gentle with you. You’re inexperienced and we didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Ah, of course. Before we get back, you’re going to be rough with me at least once.”

“Deal. You should ask Twilight to be rough, as well.”

“I probably will, depending on how I feel after you’re done.”

“Cool beans. And I’m sorry about earlier. Taya’s kinda a bitch and didn’t want to wait.”

“Hm. I suppose it is no matter. I was looking for a status update on the bunker.”

“It’s looking pretty gross down there. We finished clearing out the fort, but the enemies are teleporting and attacking in large waves. We’ve held on so far and are about to kick the hornet’s nest. Kat and I are back on the ship to get ammo while the others prepare the ambush.”

“How long are you going to be here?”

“It’ll take Twilight an hour or two to pull off her part. I’m not sure about Luna and Watcher.”

“Well… I’ve been practicing… If you’d like, I can show you some of what I’ve learned…”

“I would definitely like that, but I need to go tell someone where I’ll be. Prepare your body. I’ll be back soon.”

She smirked. “I’ll be ready. And this time, I’ll be the one working on you!”

“Sounds good. See you in a sec.” She finally let me dip. I walked on down to Jak’s workshop, where a bored Kat was watching him burn runes into his pet. “‘Sup, nerds?” I asked.

“Is Luna here yet?” Kat asked.

“Don’t think so. I’m gonna go rub Gilda’s belly. Come find me when Luna gets here.”

“Want me to join you?” Kat purred. “I can rub her belly just as well!”

“Not this time, but I’ll ask if she’d be interested later.”

“I might have to try a belly rub one of these days,” Jak said. “They appear to be popular.”

“Bitches. Love. Belly rubs,” I smugly said. “Come get me whenever Luna arrives.”

“As you wish,” Kat said, bowing her head. I walked back down to Gilda’s room and let myself in with a grin.

To make a long story short, she was definitely still inexperienced. I had fun, but she had a long way to go.

“So what do you think?” she asked as we cuddled.

“About a six out of ten,” I said. “You’re learning quickly. One thing you need to take into account is that each different race has a different body. Some of us also have different pleasure points. Mares, for example, have very sensitive vaginal lips, so you can do a lot from just rubbing them.”

“I would like to learn all of your sensitive areas!”

“My neck, my lower back, my lower stomach, and my inner thighs. None of them are sexual, but they’re all sensual. My nipples are also sensitive.”

“Hm… I’ll need quite a lot of time to catch up with Twilight…”

“I’m sure if you asked, she’d be happy to teach you everything she’s learned. She might even give you a firsthand lesson.”

“Then I shall ask. It seems awkward to ask my competition for assistance, but if she’s willing to sign her own death warrant, far be it from me to deny her!”

You know, I think I’m actually starting to like the idea of a bunch of super hot and powerful bitches competing for my vag. And heart, I guess.

“I can see how it would be flattering,” Aqua said. “Enjoy it while it lasts, Navi! Soon enough, you’ll be a beautiful blushing bride!”

It’s kinda hard to enjoy the moment when you keep threatening me. A part of me was surprised that she actually shut up.

“You know, Twilight might be a good match for you, too,” I said. “She’s just as smart, I’d imagine.”

“My brother would not deny me if I decided to marry you. He might have some words for me if I decided to marry a female pony. And I do so enjoy your fingers…”

“Yeah, they’re great.” I pecked her on the beak again before finally pulling away. “This was fun, Gilda. We’re definitely going to be doing it again. But for now, I need to get back outside and see what’s up. I feel like Luna should have been back by now.”

My princess sighed and finally let me go. “If you must…” I finally got up and started putting on my armor again. “Hm, I can’t decide if I prefer you all armored up and ready for battle or if I like you better all dolled up and looking cute.”

“You’ll get to see plenty of both, I’m sure,” I said. “With the stupid pageant coming up, you’ll have all the time in the world to decide.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she sighed. “I can’t believe Fleur talked me into it.”

“I wanna see your tail all poofy,” I said with a smirk. For some reason, that made her face turn bright red. “...What?”

“That… we only poof our tails with… with our betrothed!”

“Oh. That explains… Never mind, then.” Her face was still bright red, but she almost seemed… disappointed. “I was betrothed to a griffin once. I didn’t realize that’s why she did it.”

“WHO’S THE HUSSY?!” she demanded, sitting straight up.

“The other Gilda. Your father demanded it after Luna and I arrested Hestra. I got out of it.”

“...Oh.” She sat back down.

After the armor, I started pulling on weapons. When I had all of them, I slid the cloak over my shoulders. “Remember to stay hydrated while you’re doing all of this,” I said. “Especially after you squirt. It uses more water than you think and you don’t want to get dehydrated. I also recommend taking a break to let your room air out. I could tell what you were up to as soon as it opened.”

“That… might be wise. And as you said, I don’t want to start aching… I suppose I could study the changeling ship some more.”

“I can do you one better,” I said. “Some of the enemies we ran into were using human weapons.” Her eyes opened wide. “They’re in the cargo hold. I’m letting you keep one of them to study and duplicate.” She immediately rushed to the door, but I grabbed her by the tail, stopping her dead in her tracks. “Take a shower first.”

“...That might be a wise idea.” I let her tail go and she jerked it back. “That… actually felt very nice.”

“Yeah, Twilight likes it when I yank on her tail and spank her as I ride her. That’ll be something you get to experience when we get rough.”

“Then we will need to get rough very soon. For now, I shall go bathe away the stench of our joyous union.”

“...‘Kay.” She went on down to the closest bathroom while I finally went up to the deck. So where the hell is Luna? Is she just fucking around?

“She’s been helping us fight off attacks,” Aqua said. “It has delayed things.”

Tell her to focus on the shield so she can come fucking get us.

“And how am I supposed to relay that order, hm?” she asked. “Tell them their beloved leader is under my control?”

That would be great, yeah.

She sniffled. “I… I can’t believe you’d want them to hurt me, Navi!”

What, are you serious? I want to hurt you. Why wouldn’t I want them to get in on it, too?

“You’re the worst host ever. I’m really going to have to teach you a lesson, aren’t I?”

You know what, I don’t think that’s necessary.

“Good. I wouldn’t want to begin too early. You know, I’m still calculating the perfect wedding dress for you. You’re going to look amazing, Navi! Isn’t it exciting?”

I did my best not to think back at her, but I’m pretty sure she picked up on the intense hatred and disgust.

When I got up to the deck, Kat immediately latched onto my side from where she had been waiting right next to the door. “So how many people did you grab before you got the right one?” I asked.

“None. I know the gaits of everybody on the ship by heart. I can tell you who is anywhere just by how they walk. Yours is… quite distinct. I get excited whenever I hear it!”

Of course the psychopathic assassin can track us individually. Why not, right? “Coolsies. So where’s Luna?”

“Fighting.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how much is she needed in that fight?”

“Whichever means not at all, according to Cascade. She’s of the opinion that Luna is trying to stall.”

“Tell her stop being a foal and focus on the circle unless she’s absolutely needed to hold the line.”

Kat waited a few seconds before nodding. “She is back to working on the circle, though she looks nervous. I’m looking forward to hearing this talking-to!”

“You won’t,” I said. “She’s not in trouble or anything. I just need to have a little chat with her.”

“Want me to get a lash, my lady?” she sweetly asked.

“If you keep it up, I’ll use it on you. She isn’t the only one I might need to have a chat with.”

“I know how much you enjoy giving spankings. If it would make you feel better, I’d be happy to bend over for you!”

And now it feels weird. Great. “We aren’t quite at that point yet.” I finally continued walking, with her matching my every step. The griffin captain was on the changeling ship, talking to some of their crew. The food pony was nowhere to be seen, thankfully. Nobody else was on either deck. I stopped when I got to the front of the ship and let her go so I could lean back on the rails.

She spun around and fell back against my chest, then looked up at me with a cute little kitty grin. “Don’t tell me you can stay mad at this face, Navi!”

“If you don’t quit it, I’m going to keep touching that part of your ear that makes it flinch every time.” She gasped in horror and immediately looked away. When she tried to pull away, I wrapped my arms around her. “You can stay there for now, though.”

That made her sigh and relax. “You’re so warm and comfy, my lady…”

“Good.”

By the time Luna finally arrived, one of my hands had made it through Kat’s armor and was poking around inside. I quickly extracted it, making Kat groan in disappointment. After she was finished cleaning off my fingers, I pushed her back.

“Go get Amber and Sunny,” I said. “They’re coming back with us.”

“As you command, my lady,” she whispered, running her tail along one of my legs

When she walked off, Luna finally clonked over to me in her heavy armor. “I have come as you have commanded,” she quietly said.

I crossed my arms and just stared at her for a few seconds. To my surprise, she actually looked away. “Take that bucket off.” Her helmet immediately flew off and landed on the pommel on her saddle. “Why do you think I wanted to have a talk?” I asked.

“Because my actions displease you.”

“Which actions?”

“...I beg forgiveness, my lady.”

“You aren’t in trouble and I’m not mad. I honestly want to know. Do you understand what you did wrong?”

“...I do not. I have served you the best I could, the best I know how! I have taken every effort to keep you safe, I have followed your every order, and I feel it safe to say that I have made this journey much easier. Yet it seems that my every action is displeasing…”

“Is this how you served Celestia?”

She finally looked back up and nodded. “She was almost always pleased with my service. Every time she debased herself to fight on the front, it was always with me as her prime guard and servant. She never rode me, but I was by her side on every major battlefield, protecting her to the best of my abilities.”

“Alright, now I’m starting to understand. I don’t need protection at all times on the battlefield, Luna. I know how to handle myself. And there are more important things I need you worrying about. Namely, killing the fuck out of my enemies. I understand that you consider my safety to be your highest priority, but it’s not. Following my orders is your highest priority. I don’t want you putting yourself or others in danger to keep me safe. I have a backup plan. You do not.”

“That… contradicts all that I know, my lady.”

“I’m confident that you’ll figure it out. I’m an adult, Luna. I don’t need a babysitter. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the thought. But the execution is a pretty even split between annoying and embarrassing, especially when you float me onto your back without asking.”

“It doesn’t put me at risk! If anything, it increases my potency!”

“While subverting my image as a strong leader. When I brought you onto this ship, I told everyone that you would be following my orders. And now you’re pushing me around.”

“That was never my intention! I sought only to protect you!”

“I know that now, but it’s still going to stop. I’m not your ex-sister, Luna. I don’t need you bowing and scraping and bending over backwards to stop me from getting any blood on my hands. I quite enjoy having blood there, in fact. And if you ever want me to ride you, unless it’s actually an emergency, ask first.”

“...Serving you might be more difficult than I thought.”

“It’s literally easier. You don’t have to spend extra time guarding me.”

“And why were my alternatives to bowing inappropriate? Everything I’ve seen leads me to believe that you encourage closeness from your followers. I only sought to increase our bond!”

“Because most of them were time-consuming, annoying, and occasionally embarrassing. Imagine me hosting court and giving you an order, then you walk up and hug me before leaving. How do you think that would go over?”

“...I suppose I could see why it might be problematic. Celestia rarely let me hug her, either.”

That’s really sad. It’s probably even more sad that I have to explain this. “I don’t mind hugs, of course. But there are certain instances in which hugs wouldn’t be viable. Same for floating me onto your back. It’s just all around inconvenient.”

“Very well. Do I have any other behaviors that must be checked?”

“You’ve been saying a lot of things that could be considered flirtatious.” She looked away again. “Have you actually been flirting with me or have I been misreading?”

“I… Kat told me… I am eager to serve you in whatever capacity you require, my lady…”

“Answer the question.”

“...Yes.” It was so quiet I could barely hear it. “I will stop.”

“I’m sure you understand why such a thing would make me pause.”

“I do.”

“And I’m sure you understand why the others wouldn’t approve.”

“Of course.”

“And I’m sure you understand that I’m an adult and can make my own decisions.” She slowly looked back at me. “Stop flirting with me. We’ll meet up in the dream world one night and discuss things more privately. But understand that as a vassal, there is no chance of a relationship. Stress relief is fine, but that would be the end of it.”

“I don’t want you to force yourself to accommodate me, my lady. I have harmed you in many ways and it was foolish of me to even make an attempt at flirting. There were times I considered pledging myself to a life of chastity. Perhaps that would be best…”

“Repressing your desires is unhealthy. Mind, there are considerably healthier and better options than doing the dirty with your lady, but you wouldn’t be the only vassal doing it.”

“...Gourd also told me a little.”

“I’m sure. Have you considered trying Reginald? The size difference might be problematic, but magic is a hell of a drug.”

“We did talk about it. He told me that until I made peace with you and you forgave me, he would have nothing to do with me.”

“Right, I forgot. And me being a woman doesn’t really change your position?”

“You are the only option I have,” she said. “No others would touch me, either out of fear or anger.”

“There are always wet dreams. Find one and insert yourself. I’ve done it a time or two, just to see how things progress.”

“I… started doing it once, but felt like I was doing something wrong.”

“Fair enough. I’ve only done it to dreams involving me. There have been quite a lot of those.” She looked away again. “You are serving me well, Luna. I knew when I made you a vassal that it would require adjusting for both of us. Things aren’t going quite as I expected, but that’s fine. As long as you make an effort to fix what’s wrong, we’ll be good.”

“I shall do so immediately, my lady. Punish me as needed should I continue to err.”

“Think tummy rub timeout would do?” She finally jerked her head back to me, eyes wide open in horror. “Looks like a yes to me.”

“Truly, my lady is an expert at punishments… You saw this coming, so you got me addicted beforehoof!”

“Of course.” But not really. “I can give… and I can just as easily take away. Please don’t make that necessary. I enjoy giving belly rubs, too.”

“I will do my best to cease disappointing you.”

“Good. Now, do you still need to power your armor?”

“Yes.”

“Then do so, then go get the golem from Jak. Come back up top when you’re ready to go.”

“As you command,” she replied with a bow. She turned and started trotting off, floating the helmet back onto her head as she went.

That went well.

“It’s a miracle,” Aqua said. “I can’t believe you managed to not completely fuck up!”

I thought you said miracles weren’t real.

“Yeah, well, your mom’s not real!”

Really? Is that what you’re devolving to now? Yo momma jokes?

“If all you wanna do is complain, you’re free to become some other hussy’s host!”

What, really?

“Tch, no. You’re mine forever and ever, silly!”

You’re really a cunt. That didn’t merit a reply, thankfully.

With Luna gone, Kat, Sunny, and Amber traipsed up to me. The two mares were wearing spare armor that barely fit them. “So how did it go?” Kat asked with a grin.

“Well. Are you two sure you want to do this?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve used our magic for violence, but we hope it’ll be useful,” Sunny said.

“You’ll be sticking to support roles for now,” I said. “We’ll put you on the line if things start getting messy, though.”

“Sounds good,” Amber replied with a grin.

“If things start getting bad, you two evacuate your squads first.”

“You mean, after you and Taya,” Kat said.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“...But that is what you mean, right?” Sunny asked.

“Maybe you should learn to listen. I told you two to evacuate first.”

“But—”

“You can either follow my orders or you can stay here.” That shut them up quickly. Just in time, because Luna was coming back up the stairs, the golem in tow. Its control necklace was wrapped around her horn, oddly enough. I pushed away from the rails and walked over to meet her.

“I have done as you commanded,” she said with a bow.

It put her horn at just the right level, so I reached out to grab the necklace. “Good. Is everybody ready to go?”

Kat latched herself onto my arm. “Ready!”

Sunny and Amber walked over as well and both nodded.

“Take us back down, Luna.”

“...Would you like to mount me?” she quietly asked, making Amber squeak in surprise.

When Kat gripped my arm a little tighter, I had my answer. “We’re about to kick the hornet’s nest. It’ll be best for me to be on my battle mount.”

“Maneuverability is very important,” Kat said. “Being on a clumsy four-legged mount might not be wise.”

“You can’t get more maneuverable than teleportation,” Luna said. To prove the point, she teleported me onto her back. “And Nav’s flying handicap means being with me is even more important.”

“What’s wrong with your wings?” Amber asked. “Ooh, do you need me to massage them?!”

“They’re mismatched. Flying is very difficult.” I finally slid the golem necklace around my neck and tucked it into my armor. “Let’s go.” Luna’s horn lit up and we all teleported to the fort.

Things were finally quiet, so everybody looked over at our arrival. Brook, Watcher, and Twilight all sidled over.

“Two new recruits,” I said to Watcher. “Put them to use.”

“You got it, ma’am. Any word from Shining Armor?”

“No. It’s disconcerting.”

“...Perhaps Celestia has discovered our intentions,” Luna quietly said.

“I doubt it. Is the spell ready, Twilight?” It definitely looked it. The entire inner wall was lit up with thousands of small purple lights.

“We can start whenever you want, but I’ll be useless until we stop the lights.”

“Excellent. Brook, any word from the prisoner?”

“We managed to activate one. It stared at us for a few seconds before attacking.”

“You come up with a defensive plan?” I asked, looking back over to Watcher.

“The shield Luna came up with has six layers,” Watcher said. “If we run into something we can’t handle, we’ll pull back squads as each layer breaks. Otherwise, we’ll attack and react as needed.”

“Then let’s fucking do this,” I said. “Places, everyone!”

“This isn’t a play,” Watcher said. “ASSUME DEFENSIVE POSITIONS!” That actually got everyone moving. I flipped him off behind his back as Luna trotted forward, right up to the edge of the hole. When everyone stopped moving, Watcher nodded over to me. “At your word, my lady.”

I finally pulled up my rifle and loaded a round. When it was said, I looked down at my little Twiggles, standing right at my side. “Do it.”

“Just a sec.” She hopped up and pressed her front hooves onto Luna’s back, then pushed herself up to kiss me. “For luck!”

“Just what I needed,” I said with a grin. She finally pulled back, so I booped her. We both ignored Taya’s giggles of glee.

“Well, here we go,” she finally said. Her horn lit up and all the lights started slowly descending.

“Can you make it faster?”

“Of course.” The lights started shooting down the hole. Nothing spawned in when they touched metal, surprisingly. Soon after they hit metal, they started speeding down into pure darkness for about thirty meters.

Finally, they started revealing something massive at the bottom, what looked like a huge oval dome, almost the size of the hole itself. It grew and grew as the lights got deeper. When the lights revealed the entire thing, they continued into darkness for another fifty or so meters, where it looked like they finally hit a very uneven ground.

“...That was anticlimactic,” Amber said.

Several lights suddenly shot out from under the oval. Now that we could see more of it, we could tell that it was covered in ropes.

“Is it… getting closer?” Kat asked.

A horrifically loud sound rang out of the pit. To be honest, it sounded like a ship’s horn amplified a hundred-fold and directed right to our faces. Seconds after it started, the shield changed colors and all sound cut off.

“What the fuck is that thing?” original Gilda asked.

“Place your bets, quick!” I said. “Anyone for long-lost balloon monster?”

“That is a balloon!” Twilight said. “It must be an airship!”

“No fun allowed,” Taya muttered, kicking a rock into the hole.

Luna’s horn lit up. “I can handle this quickly.”

“No!” I immediately said. “Knocking it out of the air could collapse tunnels!”

“And what do you propose we do?” Luna asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re gonna board it!”

“We aren’t sky pirates, Nav!” Twilight said.

“What, you wanna miss out on the chance to study an airship that’s been hiding down here for who fucking knows how long? It couldn’t have built one, because there’s nowhere to fly it. And it was trapped under the ice, besides. There’s no telling how long this thing’s been here!”

“It looks massive,” Watcher said. “Do you really think we have the numbers to secure it?”

“I think we don’t have much of a choice, one way or another,” I said. “We can either retreat or we can board it and capture it, because knocking it out of the sky isn’t an option. Personally, I quite enjoy boarding ships.”

He sighed and shrugged. “Then we board. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Flying by the seat of my pants, of course,” I said with a grin. That made him roll his eyes. “We’ll wait until it gets level with us, then Luna and I will lead all the flyers over. Unicorns, start hitting us all with buffs.” All the horns lit up and spells started hitting everyone with wings, myself included. As they worked, I continued, “Once we have a foothold on the deck, teleport over to us.” I pulled the amulet out and tossed it to Watcher. “Use it as needed. Don’t get greedy.”

“As you command.”

He tucked it into his armor, which reminded me to pull the golem necklace off. “Sentinel, catch.” She looked up, so I tossed the necklace over to her. “You know the command words?”

“Follow, stop, attack?”

“And go to. Make sure the pendant touches you. You’re in charge of the golem for now.”

“Got it.” She slid the thing around her neck.

“Luna, put a shield up around us as we fly. There’s no telling what surprises this thing might have for us.”

“Of course.”

“What of us?” Brook asked.

“This thing is fuckmassive,” I said. “You should have no problems finding a place you can all stretch yourselves over.”

“And us?” Blaze asked.

“Think you could make it to the balloon if you jumped right before it crested the top?” I asked. “It should be strong enough to withstand your heat and you can join the battle as soon as it starts.”

“That will be doable,” he said with a grin. “I’m tired of hiding behind shields!”

“You won’t be waiting long,” Kat said. “I’d give us about thirty seconds or so.”

Before anyone else could comment, something teleported in behind us. Just about everyone spun to face the new group, falling right into combat positions.

Shining Armor almost looked concerned for a moment before he grinned. “Hey Nav. What is this place?” His group of ten unicorns looked around in wonder. Instead of being from the Crystal Empire, each one was a sun guard.

“Get ready for a fight,” I said. “Twilight, fill him in. Give him the most abbreviated version you can.”

“An airship is coming up from this hole to attack us. It’s full of enemies from any number of races, both still living and extinct. Their minds and bodies are controlled by an out-of-control human machine. If it touches you, you die. Nav is about to lead an attack on the airship. We’re holding the ground here until she secures a beachhead, then we’re teleporting the rest of our forces in.”

For some reason, that actually made him start laughing. When he was able to talk, he yelled out, “I finally get to go on an adventure!”

Before he could continue being weird or annoying, both fire elementals leapt off the side. The waters followed them moments later. They all landed gracefully on the balloon. Enemy nanites almost instantly appeared to combat them.

“Freeze ‘em!” I called. “And finish off the last of the buffs!”

Shiny’s horn lit up and a dim green light shot out, covering all of us. It lit up again with an inky black that covered us all with a cool shadow. “Grandmaster’s titanium skin and reflect magic,” he said. “They’ll have a fun time getting through that!”

The rest of the unicorns were throwing ice spells at the hostile nanites, though it took the day guards a few seconds to figure out who they were shooting at.

Right before the gigantic balloon ended, fifteen chariots shot up over the edge. Each was pulled by a griffin and carried a unicorn. Watcher placed a magic wall about a meter in front of the group. Half of the griffins slammed directly into it, shattering most of the bones in their bodies and sending them and their chariots tumbling into the abyss. The rest just barely avoided it. The few remaining griffins incinerated from the inside out as Taya giggled some more.

“It really doesn’t understand magic that well, does it?” Twilight asked.

The upper deck of the airship finally came into view. The deck was almost completely lined with melee fighters of all kinds. Most were from races I recognized, but there were some so alien that they could only be ancient extinct races. More unicorns were in the center.

“Is it time?” Luna asked.

“FLYERS FORWARD!” I called. We shot into the air and the new battle began in earnest.