Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JK4V0dJq5WuE8e6y88FBpXgwF2_XaIqj2owzcmoQXDw/edit

We got to the inner dome with no further issues. I wasn’t sure if that’s because all the nanites had been destroyed, the last of the dome’s energy had been used up on the tornado, or if we were just being lured in. Either way, it made things much easier, though we were all feeling pretty paranoid by the time we got to the ice.

“So how did you get in here?” PG asked Felix when some of my guards started poking the ice. “I can’t imagine a standard fire would do the trick.”

“I had a jar of dragon’s breath,” he replied.

“You can jar dragon’s breath?” Spike asked.

“It’s a potion,” Zecora said. “One that is typically used as a weapon. I brought a few similar potions with me, if we choose to go that route.”

“We have two guys who are literally made of fire,” I said. “How long are we going to be in the open once we go through?”

“About fifty meters,” Felix said. “There are dips in the land you could use to sneak through.”

“Or we can use the water elementals to become invisible,” I said.

“Won’t they notice the hole we make?” Twilight asked.

“The other option is to go in, guns blazing,” I said.

“But you’re the only one with a gun,” PG said.

“Figurative guns blazing. Once we clear the ones on the wall, approaching should be easy. I’m just worried that they might not be hostile and we kill them for no reason.”

“I don’t think anything here is friendly,” Felix said.

“I have a suggestion,” Luna said. “Once we blow a hole in the wall, we can teleport a vanguard onto the wall to determine if the defenders are hostile. If they are, the vanguard can clear them out and then the rest of the team can approach.”

“A wise plan,” Watcher said. “I suggest having one unicorn dedicated solely to teleporting in and out, in case the vanguard party begins getting overwhelmed. Twilight would likely be perfect for that.”

“Agreed,” I said. “I don’t want her killing.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because the last time you had to do it, you moped about it for weeks. And they were already dead!”

“...Fair enough,” she sighed. “I don’t really want to kill, either.”

“So who else is going?” Watcher asked.

“We need a look at the top of the wall to see what all we’re dealing with,” I said. “We’ll have to build our team based on what they have.”

“I have another suggestion,” Aqua said. “A few of my sisters and I could sneak up to the wall. If we coordinate our attack with the vanguard, we could more easily overwhelm the defenders.”

One of the griffins stepped forward, the guy I’m pretty sure was in command of their small group. “We could swoop in after the attack has started and the defenders are distracted, taking more of them out.”

“Those both sound good to me,” I said. “That’ll give us a three-pronged attack. I’ll be staying back and lending fire support with my rifle, so that’ll give us a little bit of range.”

“That’s surprising,” Watcher said.

“...Why?”

“I was assuming we would have to talk you out of being part of the vanguard.”

“Why would you talk me out of that?” I asked.

“Because it’s dangerous,” Kat replied.

“Certainly not a place for our lady,” Luna added.

“Says the ex-princess who’s been in more dangerous situations than pretty much anyone else alive,” I said.

“Perhaps. But nobody cared about me. You, however, are very well loved and would actually be missed.”

“That’s not true,” I said.

“Yes it is!” Taya immediately yelled, stomping a hoof on the ground.

“I meant the part about nobody caring about her. Reginald and that madremonte are two. I’m sure there were others. If I’m not allowed to pretend like I’m unloved, neither are you.”

“...We are wasting time,” Luna said. “Have we decided on the three-pronged attack with ranged support from those who remain behind?”

“That’s the preliminary plan,” I said. “Blaze, put a hole in the wall large enough for a few of us to peek through.”

“I am not yours to order around.”

“Are you really gonna be a fucking child about this?” I asked.

“It sets a bad precedent.”

“Of what?” I asked. “Following the simple request of the person in control of the force leading the fight against the enemy you were literally built to combat? Actually helping our group progress so we can get this over with? Maybe making things easy for once?”

“If I put the hole in the wall, will you stop whining?” he sighed.

“For now,” I replied, crossing my arms. “But please stop being such a complete asshole about things. All you’re doing is making people like you less.”

“I am not here to be liked,” he said as he placed his hands on the ice.

“People who are liked have a tendency to get watched out for more. No matter how tough you think you are, it’s always better to have people who willingly watch your back instead of people who just feel obligated to do so. And just because you aren’t here to be liked doesn’t mean being a piece of shit is your only option. You can be ominous and aloof all you want without coming across as an obnoxious douchenozzle. Just ask Silence, whenever he gets out of his coma.”

“If I asked him, would he reply?”

“He might,” I said. “I got him to say something to me once. He told me nobody would ever believe me, though.”

“He says that to everybody,” Watcher replied. “We just humor him.”

“I fucking knew it!”

Blaze snorted steam and finally broke through the ice. “You’re very—” A burst of magic from the other side threw him back into the dirt. Mist screamed and tried immediately darting toward him, but her sisters held her back.

“Clear the hole!” I shouted, making everybody jump back. Char rushed to his groaning brother’s side and dragged him out of the way. “Luna, shield!” Her horn lit up and a shield covered the hole. I pulled a helmet off the closest guard, put it on the end of my rifle, and placed it in front of the shield. Another burst of magic hit, but the shield held. “I take it this didn’t happen to you?” I asked Felix.

“Not at all,” he quickly replied. “This is definitely turning into more of an adventure than I thought!”

“Welcome to my life,” I sighed, handing the helmet back to the guard. “Keep that shield strong.” Luna nodded, her horn glowing brighter. After a few seconds, I took a deep breath and stepped in front of it. I just barely managed not to flinch when another burst of magic hit the shield.

The guards weren’t actually standing on top of a wall. Five unicorns stood on top of tall, thin towers several meters apart, taking turns shooting at the shield. As I watched, one of them shot an icicle at the shield. Thankfully, it shattered on impact.

Under their towers were ten floating, moving platforms. Each one had a diamond dog with a crossbow, all watching the hole like a hawk. Since the spells weren’t doing anything, one of them lifted his crossbow and shot straight toward me. I just barely dodged as the bolt slid right through. Before anybody could say anything, nine more followed it.

“This is going to be harder than we thought,” I said.

Luna’s eyes narrowed and the shield changed color. “It will block bolts now.”

Kat and I both peeked, this time. All ten of the diamond dogs shot at us again. Each bolt shattered on impact. Under the dogs was the actual wall, which didn’t have anyone on it. Several holes were built into the wall. Each had a ballista. One of them fired at the shield. The bolt shattered instantly.

There was a large line of naga and teenage dragon soldiers on the ground between us and the fortress itself. Each had some manner of brutal looking weapon. Several monsters prowled around the sides of the fortress, hunting for any manner of intruder.

“...In hindsight, I should have let you torch the fort,” I said.

Apparently Luna was tired of waiting her turn. She melted a much larger hole in the ice, covering it with a shield as she went. Once everybody could see what we were dealing with, she stopped. “Hm.”

“Gotta say, I’m not a fan of what they did with the place,” Felix said.

“So, sneak attack is out,” I said, crossing my arms. “I guess we take it by storm.”

“Charging that won’t be fun,” Watcher said.

“Figurative storm,” I said. “We have a Luna. We don’t actually have to charge.”

“I’m flattered by your confidence in me,” she said. “However…”

“Look closely,” Twilight said. “The front row has been buffed with magic resistance. It would be hard to make a dent on the naga, let alone the dragons. The holes in the wall also have a faint residue of magic, so hitting them would be hard. I can barely tell from here, but the towers the unicorns are standing on seem to have protective runes.”

“Zecora, what can you do for us?” I asked.

“I have another potion of heat for Spike, more potions of speed, three potions of enragement, several potions I could use to attack, a single potion of heroism, six potions of temperature resistance, and a few others that wouldn’t be useful at the moment.”

“And Luna, can you use the shadows to get yourself and a few others behind them?”

“I can,” she replied with a nod.

“Can you use magic to make the griffins and pegasi immune to bolts?”

“What are you thinking?” Watcher asked.

“A two pronged attack,” I said. Luna started scratching something in the dirt with a hoof. “I lead the frontal assault consisting of everyone ground bound and Spike, Luna leads the air assault consisting of the griffins and our pegasi. I take out all the naga, the dogs, and the monsters. She hits them from behind, taking out their unicorns and the dogs on the platforms. Once the unicorns are dead and we break through the main line, a force of water elementals led by Brook can scale the walls and silence the ballistae.”

“I’m not sure about those protective runes,” Luna said. “They could be bad news for us.”

“Even if all you do is keep them distracted, it’ll give us time to get closer. If you want, Taya could ride you and provide support.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Luna said. “I would not take her from her place at your side. I should be able to keep the others alive long enough for them to take the unicorns down. The dogs do not seem to be protected, so I can handle them quickly.”

“Felix, can you fight?” I asked.

“I am quite capable with knives, but all my weapons were taken from me.” I pulled out one of the naga daggers and held it up for him. He took the thing almost reverently. “Naga steel! From an old clan, too! This is quite the find, my lady.”

“It wasn’t a find,” I replied. “I earned it. And I’ll be taking it back when we’re done.”

“Of course. One does not steal naga weapons. That is just rude.”

“Blaze, how you feeling?” I asked.

He was finally back on his feet and glowing white hot. “Pissed off,” he growled.

“Good. Once Brook breaks off with her force and we finish off the main line, you lead the remaining elementals on the right side of the fortress, killing everything on the ground. I’ll lead the side moving left. We’ll meet on the far side.”

“It has been a very, very long time since I last fought alongside a water.”

“Try to keep up,” Aqua smugly replied.

“To be honest, I prefer fighting against them to with them.”

“Cry me a river,” I said. “Watcher, Taya, play rock, paper, scissors. Loser has to use the amulet.”

“I concede!” Taya immediately replied.

“Nuh uh. Play.”

She sighed in utter disappointment and both their horns lit up. After a second or two, she picked rock and Watcher picked paper. Taya turned to me, beaming. “Amulet please, mommy!”

“Wait until I say so to put it on,” I said, handing it over. She took it with a cute, sadistic little giggle. “Sentinel, your squad stays behind to protect the princess. We’ll wave you forward when it’s clear.”

“You sure, ma’am?” she asked. “Our extra muscle would be useful.”

“I’m not leaving her without guards,” I said. “Black Fate is our medic, so he’s definitely coming. That leaves you and Watcher.”

“And my place is at our lady’s side,” Watcher said. “So you will guard the princess.”

Sentinel bowed. “As you command, my lady.”

Watcher looked over at his troops. “Grey, you’re on me. Phantom, you’re with Black.”

“Twilight, focus on support,” I said. “You’re going to be our main shield.”

“Got it,” she said with a nod. “This might not be the time, but I’ve been wondering something. Where’s the light coming from in there? The ice is too thick to allow any through, but I can see clear as day.”

“That is a good question,” Luna said. She didn’t look up from whatever she was drawing, though. “Watcher, were you taught Sun’s Demise?”

“I was. You think it would work?”

“Once I finish this, we will cast it together.”

“What are you drawing?” I asked.

“A teleportation circle. There will likely be wounded and possibly dead. Once we stabilize them, we will send them to the Surgeon.”

“The who now?” I asked.

“A neutral doctor not many know of. He can stitch just about any pony injury back together, for the right price. We can use the dragons we kill as payment for his services. I’ve heard he does wonders.”

“Why would he want dead dragons?” Spike slowly asked.

“Because you’re worth a lot,” she offhandedly answered. “I could cut you up and sell all your parts for quite a nice bounty. Give those parts to a doctor and he could butcher you down and put every piece to use. A teenage dragon about your size would fetch an easy three thousand bits.”

Kat giggled. “Hear that, Spike? If you keep upsetting our lady, she might sell you off in pieces!”

“Nav would never do that!” Spike hastily said. “R-right, Nav?”

“Taya, did you ever read that demon summoning book?”

“Sure did, mommy!”

“N-nav?” Spike whispered.

“I wouldn’t cut you into pieces and sell you, Spike. That doesn’t mean I want you to keep being a fucking twat. Taya, can you summon anything?”

“Nope! I only glanced at it and didn’t really try to remember any of the signs.”

“It would be a bad idea anyway,” Luna said. “We would have to take at least an hour to draw it to have any reasonably powered demon.”

“Ariel drew the sign for Nestorats in a minute or two,” I said. “She wasn’t at full strength, but she did a number on me.”

“And only you,” she said. “If you take so little time to draw a sign, the demon will only follow a single command.”

“We can’t just order them to kill everything in there?” I asked.

“They would attack us as soon as we followed. If we let them go in alone, they would be killed over and over until their sign wore away.”

“Fucking useless demons. Then we do it without them.”

“So who gets which potion?” Zecora asked.

“What does the potion of heroism do?” I asked.

“Increases the imbiber’s strength and speed, makes them fearless, completely silences them, and wears off after one hour.”

“Can someone drink more than one potion?”

“Depends on the potion. Some are incompatible. Some work well together.”

“Hm. I really wish the naga was here. His huge, manly body would be comforting now.”

“What about my huge, dragonly body?” Spike asked.

“Give Spike the potion of heroism and the heat potion, if they’re compatible,” I said.

“They are,” she said, opening one of her bags.

“Kat, Felix, and I will take a speed potion. Divvy the temperature resistance potions out to all the melee fighters. We’ll hold off on the rage potion.” She started hoofing out bottles. “If anybody has any large-area buffs, now’s the time to use them.”

“Watcher and I have a debuff,” Luna said. “Sun’s Demise will take away all the light inside. It will hopefully make their unicorns and archers blind.”

“I can counter that for everyone who can’t see in the dark,” Twilight said. “I can do a mass dragoneye spell. Learned that one after Hawaii. I can also do a few weaker defensive buffs.”

“Save your strength,” I said. “I doubt a weak defensive spell will do much against a naga’s blade, especially if it’s coated in nanites. The goal is to not get hit in the first place.”

“I can cast an area Last Chance spell, then.”

“What does that do?”

“Any attack that would normally be fatal would instead cause you to be teleported a meter away. It basically gives you a single free hit.”

“Absolutely. So dragoneye and a free death. Anyone have anything else?”

“I do have a thought,” Watcher said. “You should stay with Sentinel, my lady.”

“Absolutely not.”

Kat wrapped a fuzzy arm around my shoulder. “Are you—”

I pushed her away. “I am going and that is final. I order all of my vassals to shut up about it. I also order all of my other hirelings to shut up about it. And if anybody else feels like discussing it, I’ll be happy to tell you to shut up as well.”

“Even your marefriend?” my daughter asked.

“My marefriend isn’t going to ask me to sit back and watch people risk their lives for me.”

“What about your daughter?” my marefriend asked.

“My daughter wants to fight at my side more than she wants me to sit back. My daughter also knows about my secret little ace in the hole that makes this fight a non-issue.”

“I sure do!” she sweetly said.

“...What secret?” Twilight slowly asked.

“It wouldn’t be a secret if I told everyone, now would it? You’ll all be privy to it in time, but now is not that time.”

“If it affects the coming fight, I believe we deserve to know,” Watcher said.

“Oh, it doesn’t,” I said. “Don’t worry about it. Kat also knows and can attest that it’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“...Right. That. I had forgotten. I concede the point, my lady,” she said. “I would be pleased to fight by your side!”

“Now I’m really confused,” Watcher sighed.

“Good. Now you people know how I feel all the time when you get all weird and mysterious.” He rolled his eyes. “So, are we ready?”

“I have a hesitant suggestion,” Brook said. “All of their soldiers have nanomachines in them. It’s possible that they mean to infect our group as well. We should preempt that by temporarily making you all hosts.”

“Over my dead body,” I said, crossing my arms. Aqua didn’t even have to make me say it.

“It was, as I said, a hesitant one,” she replied. “We will be happy to wipe the nanites out of any of you that get infected, but it will be too late to restore you to life and too late to restore your personality, should they decide on a complete wipe.”

“Anyone who wants is free to take her up on that,” I said. “I’m going to prioritize not getting hit.”

“I need no brain leech,” Luna said.

“I’m comfortable with just my magic,” Twilight said.

“Mommy is all I need to keep me safe!” Taya warmly said.

“I’m game,” Watcher said. “I’ve lived too long to end it here.”

“I’m perfectly content being alone in my head, thank you,” Felix said.

All of the griffins refused and most of the remaining guards did as well. All in all, it felt good knowing that most of us would literally prefer dying to being a host, even temporarily.

Aqua did not share my enthusiasm.

Once everyone was settled again, I asked, “So are we ready for the final buffs and the potions?”

“There will be no going back once we enter,” Luna said.

“I am going in there,” I said. “Alone, if I have to.”

“You won’t,” my daughter said, latching herself onto my leg. I placed a hand on her head.

“A few of us were wondering if it would be possible to skip it,” Brook said. “We know the bunker is directly underneath us. We could easily dig to it.”

“And leave these assholes behind us?” I asked. “The bunker is a constantly moving maze, according to Felix. We don’t want to have an entire army trapping us in those tunnels. We’d die like rats. And that’s assuming there aren’t also more guards inside.”

“I’ve never seen any inside,” Felix said. “The biggest obstacle is finding your way around.”

“The biggest obstacle for you, maybe,” I said. “But this place obviously didn’t register you as a threat. It seems to be focusing its attentions rather squarely on us. There’s no telling what we might find down there. I don’t want an army to be one of them.”

“Then I have no more suggestions,” Brook said, bowing her head.

“Twilight, use your buffs.” She took a deep breath and then her horn lit up. The dragoneye spell settled on everyone that couldn’t see in the dark. A moment later, her Last Chance spell hit all of us. For some reason, it made me feel lighter. “Luna, Watcher, your debuff?” The two of them stepped up to the edge of the dome and started doing whatever. “If you’ve got potions, now’s the time to drink ‘em.” I downed the speed and temperature resist potions. Both tasted like garbage. As the potions settled in, my eyesight dimmed and I realized I couldn’t see anywhere near as far.

“I would like those bottles back,” Zecora said. “Restocking them on the go can be difficult.” Twilight’s horn lit up and she collected all of them for Zecora, floating them to her bag.

By the time that was done, all the light in the dome had vanished. “We must move quickly,” Luna said.

“All flyers on Luna,” I said. “Get up to the top and take out their ranged units. Everyone else and Spike, on me. Taya, amulet.”

Luna’s horn lit up and the shield around the dome popped out. “Flyers, on me!” She galloped into the dome, keeping the shield ahead of her. Magic and arrows instantly started rebounding off. The rest of the flyers followed and soon enough, they all took to the skies.

As soon as they were out of the way, Twilight put up her own shield.

Blaze and Char led the charge. The waters were right behind them. As soon as the rest of us realized it was safe, we quickly caught up. Kat and I sprinted right through the elementals, blowing them out of the way. Taya teleported past to keep up. Spike jumped right over them.

As soon as my line of sight was clear, I lifted the rifle and Aqua took over. “You’re on your own when we get there, but let me show off a little first.” She shot five of the naga right through the face, dropping them instantly. Out loud, she called, “Spike, toss me!”

He wrapped both talons around me and heaved me into the air. My wings spread and caught the air. She lifted the rifle again and shot five of the dragons through the eye, sending them to the ground. With that, she slung it over my shoulder and drew the sword.

“Good luck down there, Navi,” she sweetly said.

Don’t get torched just yet, slut. I don’t want you getting even more clingy. And nice shots.

Aqua’s shooting evened the odds quite nicely. With about a third of them dead, our forces split off to combat them. Brook led five of her sisters straight through the hole in their lines, sliding toward the fortress and ignoring the huge bolts firing at them. The other waters began eating through any that tried stopping their sisters. The fires and Spike started running toward the largest group of dragons. Felix and the ponies went for the naga. There was a single large dragon still leading the naga, so I angled myself that way.

The dragon saw me coming and started spewing fire at me, but I flew right through it. Honestly, the heat felt pretty good. When I got close enough to him, I lifted my sword and sliced right through his neck as I continued flying past him. His body fell to the ground, completely bloodless. I hit the ground with a skid and immediately rejoined the fight.

One of the naga tried swinging at me, but Kat jabbed him straight through the skull with her rapier. She ripped it out and spun to put a bolt in another naga’s throat. He didn’t really seem too fazed by that, so I sliced off his head. Both pieces fell to the ground with thuds.

“GO FOR THEIR HEADS!” I called.

Something small pressed up against me and flooded me with warmth. “Extra strength and absorb life, mommy,” Taya said. “Go get ‘em!”

I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but I wasn’t gonna let her down. I zoomed over to another naga who was fighting a pony and ran right up his tail, then stabbed into his spine. I gasped as my body suddenly felt… great! The naga fell to the ground and Grey stomped his head in. Before he could say anything, I sprinted to Watcher’s side, who was facing off against three of the things.

My sword sliced right through one’s skull and I felt a huge burst of energy. The other two turned their attention to me. I jumped back and threw a knife into one’s skull. He recoiled, but didn’t go down. The other swung at me. I sidestepped and swung my sword up, slicing through his arms. His head was off before his hands hit the ground. Whatever absorb life was, it felt fucking amazing! By the time I could get to the last one, Watcher was sliding the first naga’s sword through its neck.

“They don’t like unicorns,” he said.

I looked around the field to realize that it didn’t seem to matter. The last of the naga were being wiped up and Blaze was already leading the elementals to attack the monsters on their side. Luna had most of the unicorns dead, but the last two had teleported down to the floating platforms and were keeping the dogs shielded. I sheathed my sword. “Watch my back.”

“Always, ma’am,” he replied.

I pulled up the rifle and reloaded it. Let’s see if they bothered protecting against bolts. I aimed up at the unicorns and fired three rounds. The one I shot faltered and fell off his platform. I took aim at the other and fired. The shot rebounded. “Only a matter of time,” I said, slinging the rifle. The last of the naga were dead and everyone was looking to me. “We clear the monsters on the left side. Keep an eye on the skies. There might be more ballistae up there.”

“I’ll keep the shield up no matter what,” Twilight said. “Lead the way!”

“Quick question,” Felix said, raising a paw. “I always ask first, but… would anyone object to me looting the bodies?”

“Those naga weapons are your trophies, Felix,” I said. “Though don’t worry about the gold. Every part of this crew will get their fair share of the payout when this is over.”

“...I didn’t realize I was part of that arrangement.” He pulled a handkerchief out and cleaned the knife I gave him. “Either way, I shall no longer be needing this. It seems I have earned my weapons.”

“I just hope you know better than to do anything stupid with them,” I replied, taking my knife and sheathing it. “Now get your loot. We need to move. I’m not letting those fucking elementals show us up!” Watcher floated me my throwing knife. I sheathed it and then started running toward the left side of the fortress. I couldn’t go at the potion’s full speed, because I had to keep pace with Twilight. Still, I ran right at the edge of her shield, keeping the rifle up in case I got a shot. Kat and Taya followed right by my sides.

The first group of monsters were truly horrific, mutated horror shows. They had eight spider legs, eight creepy eyes, a massive circular mouth with spinning teeth, several slimy tentacles under its body, and a back of hardened rock. After a moment of thought, I realized they were irlgaunts. I pumped rounds into the first one until my gun clicked, then slung it and pulled my sword back out.

“Think they’re magic resistant?” Taya asked.

“Try it.” Her horn lit up and lightning flashed out. They reacted instantly, ducking under their rocky shell. “Watcher, Black, lift ‘em up!” Their horns flashed and all four of the monsters shot into the air. I sliced off the tentacles of one and they threw it aside, where it squirmed around trying to right itself. I slid my sword in up to the hilt, making it stop squirming. Taya and Spike spewed flames up at two of them, burning them and making their shells hiss. Kat used Spike for a boost and impaled the last one right in the center of its tentacles. After a few seconds of twisting, she fell back to the ground, slinging her rapier out. That one fell to the ground with a thud.

The next batch of monsters were already hopping toward us. This was a group of five enormous glacier toads, each covered in huge icicles. Each hop made the ground shake. One of them stopped and opened its mouth. A blast of cold hit the shield, making it ice over.

“Amulet, now!” Twilight hissed. Taya yanked it off and tossed it over. Twilight grabbed it with magic and slid it around her neck. Her horn lit up blood red and all the ice on the shield melted. Her eyes started smoking dark green and black and the shield pulsed. She began charging forward. I kept well ahead of her. The other frogs started spewing more ice at us, but the shield blocked it all.

As soon as we got to the first one, it shot its tongue out to me. I sliced right through it and the beast recoiled. I slid under it and sliced its mostly unprotected underbelly open. Kat used his huge lips to vault on top of him. Between the two of us, that one fell. Taya teleported me out before I could get crushed and we moved to the next one. The other three were already dead, felled by Spike, Felix, and the ponies. Taya grabbed me and tossed me on top of the last one. I used my blade to grab purchase and started stabbing around the ice, digging the blade into what little flesh I could find. Soon enough, it also fell and I jumped down.

The final two beasts were as tall as the wall itself and probably about as thick. Their bodies were mostly snakelike, but they had a dragon head and small arms. I believe they were called linnorms. Their mouths opened and shot a storm of icicles dead at our shield. They all shattered, thankfully.

“That’s gonna be a problem,” I said.

“Easy,” Kat said. “Don’t get hit.” She giggled and sprinted out of the shield.

After a second of thought, I grinned. “Twilight, amulet!” She looked at me in shock, then tossed it my way. The green and black around her eyes faded away as I slid it on and jumped into the air.

With the amulet’s power flowing through me, I shot toward the beasts. Kat seemed to be going after the one on the left, so I took the one on the far side. It saw me coming and opened its mouth. I dropped down to dodge the icicles, then darted to the side. It tried to follow me, but between the potion and the amulet, I was too quick. He ran out of energy before I got halfway there and started slithering toward me. I swooped in low and he tried to bite me out of the air. When I slid past, he swung his tail. I managed to slice into it and took off the very tip. With that, I started flying straight up.

The monster seemed pissed at this point and shot more icicles at me. I changed angles before stopping entirely, making the icy death shoot past me. When it stopped, I flew toward him again. The bastard jumped toward me, spiraling his tail to keep on target. I waited until the last second and ducked right under his mouth, lifting my sword above me. I cut right down the beast’s neck, leaving a gaping wound a meter wide. Once I had done enough, I darted away from its tail.

The linnorm hit the ground and started thrashing. Taya used magic to saw through its neck and remove its head, finally killing it. Thankfully, Kat was just finishing up on her end. While she had hers distracted, Zecora hit it with a potion that… melted its top half. Honestly, the smell was pretty fucking bad.

“Can we take a minute?” Twilight asked, gasping for breath. I landed next to her and pulled the amulet off.

“Pull the shield back. Put this back on if it’ll help.”

“Not… not yet.” I slid the amulet into the pouch. She watched the pouch for a moment before shivering. “I just need to catch my breath. Maybe get some water…” I reached into her bag for her and grabbed a canteen. She started chugging it and I grabbed one of my own.

“The air battle seems to be over,” Watcher said.

We looked up and sure enough, Luna was leading the fight against some threat on the far side. “If she’s working over there, that means we’re clear,” I said. “Time for a breather, guys!”

Everyone seemed relieved at the news. Even better, I noticed that we hadn’t lost anyone. Watcher saw me grinning. “Proper preparation saves lives, Nav. You’ve built this team. I hope you’re proud of it.”

“Oh, I am,” I said. “Still kinda curious why you’re following me, but definitely proud.”

“Talk like that means you need a cookie!” my daughter said, shoving one in front of me. I grabbed it and nommed the fucker down. “That’s a good mommy!”

“What, no headpats?” I asked. She smiled and brushed my hair with magic. “Much better. So what do you think is inside this fort, Watcher?”

“My guess is more enemies. Probably several traps. From what I’ve seen out here, I don’t think there really is much worth looting in there.”

“We’ll scout it out, see what we find. If it’s too dangerous, we’ll call it. Otherwise, we’ll clear it out. I really don’t want them behind me.”

“Agreed. We should continue and regroup with the others, then plan our next move.”

“Let’s start moving again, people,” I said. “No hurry. Looks like we’re about done here.” Before we could actually start moving, the ground began shaking. “Scratch that. DOUBLE TIME, MOVE IT!” We all started running to the group of elementals, who were just turning the corner. Before we could get there, the ground between us erupted and a horde of giant ants started crawling out. More of them appeared in holes around both of our groups. We skidded to a halt.

“Circle up!” Watcher called. We all got in a circle around the shield as the ants began swarming us.

I pulled the amulet back out and handed it to Taya. “Time for scorched earth, honey.”

She took it and started giggling as she slid it on. Right as the ants began biting at our shield, her horn lit up pure black and hellfire poured out. Black flames shot out all around us, slagging the ants and leaving them covered in burning tar. Their carapaces shrieked as each one popped open. The smell was not the best.

“Alright, so you’re gonna talk to me the next time you wanna use that spell.”

“Why’s that, mommy?” she sweetly asked, horn still lit up black.

“Because it stinks. No one wants to smell that.”

“I think any fire would stink,” Watcher said. “The smell of burning giant ant is honestly pretty bad.”

“Fair enough. Let’s keep moving, people!” The ants all around us were dying in droves as the fire started doing real damage, so it was easy for us to cut our way through the few remaining ones. Once we got on top of their shitty mounds, we saw that the elementals were much slower in their slaughter, but no less efficient. We continued forward, burning more and more of the ants as we went until we finally cleared the edge of Luna’s shield around them. Our small shield vanished and a hole in hers appeared. We charged through.

“Allow us to finish this,” Flo said. “You all seem exhausted.”

“Never been better, actually,” I said. “I’m going to enjoy that absorb life spell!”

“I knew you’d like it!” Taya said, bumping up against me.

“That said, Twilight is starting to wig out a little. We’re going to need a long break before we go in there.”

“Understood,” she said. “We would be happy to guard your rest.”

“We’ll talk about that once everything is secure,” I said. “Let’s deal with these ants and find a way in.”

“We already have a way in. We passed a gate on the way around. Brook’s team is working on opening it now.”

“Then that’s where we go. Circle up! Elementals on the outside, living on the inside! Catch your breath, people!”

“Do we still need the shield?” Luna asked.

“The ballistae are silent and the unicorns and dogs are dead. Drop it for now, but be prepared to raise it again instantly.” The shield around us finally died down. The few remaining ants surged in and got wrecked by the elementals. “So how’s hacking them coming along?” I asked.

“We hope to have much more success tonight,” Flo replied. “If we do end up taking a break, it’ll give us enough time to truly pore into it. At the moment, our attentions are divided.”

“And you haven’t already cracked it and are just waiting for us to get desperate enough so you guys seem like big heros when you finally turn all the enemies off, right?”

“...Right.”

“Good. So how was the fight here on your end?”

“Surprisingly simple. We managed to keep the two fires alive long enough to kill just about everything for us. They are wonderfully lethal. A part of me understands what Mist sees in them.”

“Hopefully it’s just a small part of you.”

“Don’t worry, Navi,” she replied, booping me on the nose. “You’ll always be my favorite. Besides, such a love would seem painful. How was the fight on your side?”

“Fun. It’s been a while since I got to really do some damage.”

“Oh? I heard you had quite a showing at the festival, winning the right to a date with Princess Gilda.”

“Yeah, but I only got to beat some people up. I didn’t get to completely wreck them. To be honest, I don’t even know how many kills I got. It’s all an exciting blur.”

“...Exciting,” she sighed. “There was a time you would detest the thought of battle.”

“And there was a time I’d detest the thought of fucking a horse, but here we are.”

“Indeed, I suppose. You have changed greatly since your arrival.”

“I didn’t arrive, I was created.”

“...You seem to enjoy bringing that up,” Flo quietly said.

“Trust me when I say that I absolutely don’t enjoy it. That doesn’t change it, though. I just like reminding people sometimes.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes them feel super awkward and I thrive off that.” Luna floated me over to her back without a word. “What, is this my time-out?”

“Is that not what is done with fillies who act out for attention?” she asked.

“Spankings are also an option,” I said.

“Don’t tempt me,” Twiggles said. “I’d make you scream and beg in front of all your followers.”

“That… actually sounds kinda hot,” I quietly said.

After a few seconds, a small blush covered Twilight’s face. “It does, doesn’t it…? Buck, now I actually wanna do it!”

“I ask you to control your carnal urges for now,” Luna said. “There will be plenty of time for you to sexually humiliate our lady later, when we are not in danger.”

“The danger just makes it better, honestly,” I said. “Tie me up, make me weak and helpless, then protect me from the baddies and claim your reward after the fact…”

“Stop making this sound sexy!” Twilight loudly whispered, slapping a hoof in the dirt. “You have problems!”

“I have problems? I’m not the only one getting wet!”

“You both have problems,” Watcher said. “And you both need to stop talking.” I stopped talking. Instead, I pulled my rifle out and finally reloaded it.

“So how did you fare in battle?” Luna asked after a few seconds of silence.

“I think I fared pretty well. I managed to not get hit while doing plenty of hitting.”

“That is a hallmark of any successful battle,” she replied with a nod. “I am proud of how you have grown, Nav.”

“I fought against it a lot, but I’m honestly glad I finally gave in. Being a warrior is fucking awesome. Killing shit is great. I gotta say, there really is no better rush than slaughtering a field of enemies.”

“Oh, to be a true predator…” Luna sighed. “I’ve oft wondered how it must feel to naturally enjoy the spilling of blood, the rending of flesh and bone… I grew into it in time, but oh how I loathed it at first…”

“I gotta say, it feels pretty fucking great,” I said. “You should consider turning into one. Twilight figured out how to make people dragons. You already know how to become a human.”

“Changelings are also easy,” Twilight said. “I can also do a cat and a griffin.”

“Housecat, not Kat cat.”

“I can do both! When are you gonna stop holding that over me?”

“When Fluttershy stops giggling at me!” She rolled her eyes.

“I prefer my own skin,” Luna said.

“I preferred my own skin, too,” I said. “But alas…”

“Can you please stop injecting random hints of sadness and self-hate in an otherwise fun and engaging conversation?” Twilight asked. “It’s really annoying sometimes.”

“But if I don’t do that, you might as well talk to somebody else. I mean, what else have I got?”

“An overall friendly demeanor and personality, an extremely fair and just mentality, a very self-sacrificing friend, and someone who will do anything for those she cares about,” Twilight said.

“You know she just says stuff like that for compliments, right?” Taya asked.

“I know,” Twilight replied. “I just never miss a chance to compliment my woman-friend.”

“What about all those times you’ve insulted me?” I asked.

“Well, those weren’t chances to compliment you,” she said. “You’re also pretty bullheaded at times, you can certainly be mean-spirited, and you take things too literally just to be petty.”

“I never steal things!” I said, trying to act hurt.

“Maybe I should spank you in front of your troops…”

“They’re loyal,” I said. “They would stop you.”

“No we wouldn’t,” Grey Boulder immediately replied.

“We’d just sit and watch,” Shadow added.

“...I need better guards.”

“They just know you’d enjoy it too much,” Watcher said. “They wouldn’t want to take that from you.”

“...I’m proud of some aspects of what you’ve become,” Luna said. “I had not realized your tastes had become so outlandish or so well-known.”

“Yeah, well, I guess that’s what happens when all agency is taken a bunch of times.”

Her ears drooped. “That was not meant as an insult. I apologize if it was taken that way. You are, of course, at liberty to amuse yourself however you desire.”

“She’s saying random sad things again,” Twilight said. “We really should come up with some kind of punishment for this. Something she wouldn’t actually enjoy.”

“Pretty party?” Kat asked. “She seems to hate those the most.”

“Why do you have to punish me for being me?” I asked. “Can’t you just accept me for who I am without forcing me to be some horrific ponified version of me with threats and cajoling?”

“Ooooh!” Gilda shouted. “Get called out!”

“I gotta give that one to her,” Spike said. “On point, Navi!” Has it already been an hour? How time flies when you’re killing, I suppose.

“Don’t come ‘round here like yo shit don’t stank,” I said. “You’re just as bad, with your forced hugging bullshit. If you have something to say, you can either say it or back off. Your passive aggressive garbage is only wasting my time and pissing me off.”

“Ouch,” Gilda hissed. “She nailed you to the ground!”

“Why can’t you all just love mommy for who she is?” my sweet little angel asked.

“See there?” I said. “My filly has the right idea. She loves me for who I am, self-deprecation and all!”

“...Well, it does get old sometimes.”

“Taya, you were adopted.”

“That just means you actually chose me!” she happily replied, hugging my leg for a moment.

“And I would make the same choice in a heartbeat,” I said, petting her mane. “Now, we’ve all had a chance to catch our breath. Twilight, once the gate is clear, I want you to lead a force back to where we entered. Take a few waters with you. Grab Gilda and Sentinel, then start policing the bodies. Make sure none of them have any nanomachines left in them. Then build a pyre. I don’t care about the monsters, but I’m not letting those naga rot. We can harvest the dragons for ingredients.”

“What?!” Spike shouted. “Why are you burning the naga but desecrating the dragons? You don’t even need money!”

“Zecora, how many of those ingredients can be used to help us?”

“Most of them.”

“How many of those ingredients can be used in healing or otherwise beneficial potions?”

“The rest of them.”

“How many body parts of naga are useful in potions?”

“Only the heart, and that’s only if it’s still beating when you use it.”

“Show of hands,” I called. “Who here doesn't care about desecrating bodies if it means helping people, especially ourselves?” Just over half the people with pulses lifted appendages. After a few seconds, Spike sighed and lifted a talon. “Any more questions?”

“Then why burn the naga bodies at all?” he asked. “Why bother with the effort?”

“Because that is what they would do for us. As a side note for anybody who isn’t in the know, killing a naga and claiming their weapon is one of the only ways for an outsider to be welcomed into a naga’s clanhome. Those of you who claimed kills are welcome to keep the weapons. They’re also worth quite a pretty penny, if you don’t care about the symbolic representation.”

“An invitation is a powerful thing,” Felix said. “Some treasures should not be sold.”

“Even if the naga smell funny,” Taya said.

“That’s just what happens when you live underground,” I said. “The changeling hives are the same way. It’s just the must of hundreds or thousands of creatures living in a place without much, if any, surface access.”

“Way to make it sound appealing,” Gilda said. “Now I’m kinda glad I didn’t get to kill one of them.”

“Yeah, yeah. Back to the orders. When the gate is clear, we need to organize air patrols with the griffins and the pegasi. They need to keep an eye in the sky and alert us if anything changes. If something tries coming out of the hole, we need to know.”

“What about me?” Spike asked. “They could use a heavy-hitter up there. With Luna going inside, they won’t have anyone resistant to magic. Between you, Taya, Luna, and the elementals, I don’t think you’ll need me that much.”

“Fair enough. You stay outside, then. But I want you back to keeping an eye on the princess. Stay with her, but get in the air if anything happens.”

“Do I really gotta hang out with her the whole trip?” he sighed.

“Watch yourself, dragon,” the leader of the griffin team said.

“Look, I’m just saying,” he said. “I know you guys think it too! She’s really abrasive!”

“Our opinions do not matter,” the guy replied, literally confirming said opinion. “Our duty is to defend her honor!”

“Spike, shut up,” I said. “Life is just full of one bullshit task after another. Put up with this for now and you’ll be back to annoying me on purpose in no time.” He sighed, but finally shut up. “Watcher, I want ground patrols as well. I don’t want to get swarmed from behind by ants or any kind of monster from the outside.”

“Got it. That’ll be a lot of territory to cover, but we’ll coordinate with the flying patrols. That’ll leave you with a smaller group going inside.”

“We’re going to need to move quickly and lethally,” I said. “No offense to you guys, but I think you’ll be more useful covering our backs. We’re going to be better against whatever’s in there.”

“Of course. I’ll leave the elemental I have in me for now. I can communicate with your group through her.”

“Who’s in you?” I asked.

His eyes lit up blue. “Brook,” she said. “I thought it appropriate to take on your second as a host. It allows me to communicate with you more effectively. We stand ready in the gatehouse. There are no guards that we can see. The gate will open at your command.”

“Excellent. Be careful with Watcher. He’s one more speech about retirement away from a cliched last minute death.”

She giggled and replied, “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle. I’ll fill him up so much and please him so well that he’ll miss me when I’m gone. Maybe he’ll even ask me back!”

Flo groaned. “Sister, control yourself!”

“Why, what ever do you mean, young one?” Brook asked. “I merely seek to provide my host with the time of his life. I just know he’ll enjoy me owning him in such a manner!”

“Am I the only normal one left?” Flo quietly whispered, turning dark blue.

“You know what they say about that, right?” I asked. “If everyone else around you isn’t noticing something, that makes you the crazy one. Really Flo, why do you always act out and interrupt?”

“That’s rude,” Ice said. “We must accept Flo for who she is, strange outbursts and all. With luck, our love will fill up the hole deep inside of her so that she may once more be complete.”

“...You’re right,” Flo sighed. “This must truly be what going insane is like…”

“You know, sometimes these things are fun to be around,” Nightshade said. Several of the other guards started giggling.

Watcher finally shook his head a few times and then blinked, his eyes going back to normal. “You ever get used to that?”

“It’s not as bad if they ask first,” I said. “It always sucks when they do it without asking. And don’t even get me started on what they can do to your personality.”

“Not that any of us would do such a thing,” Aqua immediately replied out loud.

“Of course not,” Mist quickly added.

“So quick to defend themselves,” Blaze coldly said.

“We all know they are capable of it,” Char said. “And some of us have witnessed it.”

“And one of us has experienced it,” Blaze growled, glaring at Mist.

She giggled and turned bright pink. “You’ll learn to love me back eventually, my toasty love!”

“...And sometimes they’re scary to be around,” Nightshade quietly added. Most of the guards actually grouped tighter together. I honestly didn’t blame them.

“Man, what is wrong with you elementals?” I asked. “Like, get over yourselves already. Jesus.”

“Those are… harsh words,” Brook said.

“And laughable, coming from you,” Aqua said.

“I have a theory, actually,” Twilight said. “It’s not complete and a lot of it is extrapolation, but I think it’s fairly sound.”

“A theory on what, exactly?” I asked.

“On what’s wrong with them,” she said. “I hate to say it, but it’s obvious. There is something very seriously wrong with their programming and I have a hunch as to what it is.”

“That is a serious accusation,” Brook said.

“A serious accusation with merit,” Twilight said. “Allow me to explain, then. Humans designed the elementals. As Nav is happy to tell you, humans are not perfect. And from what I understand, the conditions under which they built you were… not ideal. I theorize that for one, you were never meant to last forever. You were only there to guide civilizations as human-like deities in the early days, to create faith in the early species. This faith, which is what we now know of as friendship, would go on to foster magic. Humans were attempting to build and design a civilization based on their own prehistoric times. They knew that Nav was eventually going to end up forward in time and that he was preparing the way for them, so they wanted to build something that would be akin to what they knew. That way, they would actually have some idea of what they were getting into and had some amount of control over it. When the elementals started malfunctioning, Discord gained enough power to begin acting in the world again. Eventually, he used their own malfunctions against them, turning them to war with each other.”

“That… raises some questions,” Flo slowly said. The rest of the elementals also suddenly seemed quite interested.

“Me first,” I quickly said. “You said they malfunctioned. Do you have a thought on what the malfunction was?”

“Yes,” she said. “Well, a few. First, I believe the main water malfunction was forming stronger than normal attachments. From my understanding, it definitely happened with Brook and Aqua. This obviously made both glitch. Something Nav said seemed to trigger something in Brook that recalled her original programming, or at least a variant of it. Aqua is definitely still not a normal water. There’s obviously something wrong with her programming.”

“If you have any proof, I would love to hear it,” Aqua said.

I never wanted to say something more in my life. Oh, it’s only a matter of time for you. You’re just a corrupted little machine.

“A corrupted little machine holding your leash. How’s it feel, Nav? To be a… bitch?”

I honestly didn’t have a reply for that.

“I’m sure something similar happened with other waters,” Twilight continued. “Especially the ones who remained free. Mist has also obviously malfunctioned, given her horrifying and insane infatuation with Blaze.” Mist blew a bubble at her. “Naiad seems calmer, but uncannily so at times.” Naiad crossed her arms behind her back. “Ice is child-like, as if he never had a host before. As it is with most species, those who are not given a chance to develop at young ages suffer later in life.” The poor kid actually pouted. “If I had to guess, I’d say that Rain and Raine were a malfunction from the start, a pair of twin sisters from where there should have been only one.”

“...That would be a wonderful guess,” Rain said.

“An uncomfortably wonderful guess,” Raine quietly added.

“It wasn’t quite a guess. I’ve been doing my research and drawing parallels,” Twilight said. “After Nav finally told me about religion, I realized it corresponded almost perfectly with our mythology. I started reading through every one of the books of religion Nav published. Most of it was garbage, but I found evidence of true magic from powerful beings. If you dig through the moralistic nonsense, you find proof of the beings that once fought Discord. You find the methods they used, the methods that caused them to wane in power. All of the beings that opposed Discord failed because they had some vice or another. Pride, wrath, lust, gluttony, sloth, envy, greed. These are the weaknesses that cast down his enemies. Those who extolled these virtues lasted the longest. So I got to thinking about what could have made them fail, too. And I realized that it was little malfunctions along the way. Forgetting the meaning of something and worshipping only what is convenient. Little things at a time. Then I looked at the elementals and realized there was something wrong. Then I looked at Princess Celestia and realized what she had done.”

“Now you see it,” I said with a grin. “Now you saw what I did from the start!”

“I do, Nav. It’s horrible. It’s… tremendously and monumentally horrible. When I came to these conclusions, I finally understood why you were so afraid of them.”

“...I don’t get it,” Watcher said. “What did Celestia do?”

“She turned herself into a god,” I said. “And she turned her little sister into Satan.”

“A title I bear with dignity, I hope,” Luna solemnly said.

“Oh, and I’m not kidding when I say that,” I replied. “In Christian mythology, Lucifer was God’s most trusted angel, his second in command. Eventually Lucifer decided to give knowledge to the humans, which God had forbidden. This resulted in a civil war. Lucifer lost and was cast into hell. His title became Satan, lord of the underworld, the place where sinners are cast down to suffer eternally. So first she rebranded you as Nightmare Moon, then she banished you to the moon. Less than a decade after you get back, she banishes you to pony hell, the place where demons punish the local wildlife and anyone unlucky enough to get banished there relentlessly.” That’s probably not all completely accurate, but it’s not like they know any better.

“...Oh. I suppose that is an apt metaphor. Satan is an interesting name.”

“Human mythology is… fascinating,” Twilight said. “I realized the parallel in our culture after a few of their books. Then I read through a few of the history books she has lying around and noticed all the similar names. Something astounding happened with our culture, as if it was almost designed to mimic humanity’s. We all match mythological beings in their time, several of our cultures are similar to theirs and have similar city names, and it seems that we’re just as flawed if not moreso than they are. I hate to say it, but we have all of their flaws mixed with raw animal hormones. At times, we become closer to animals than reasoning beings.” She let a somber silence go on for a few seconds before sniffing. “And all that time I thought Nav was just being difficult, but the human names for things really are almost the same!”

“Do you really think we’d name all our shit after horses?” I asked. “I mean, the Mongolians might, but those guys got weird with their mares.”

“So what about fires?” Char suddenly asked. “Where did we malfunction?”

“I don’t know yet,” Twilight said. “I’ve only met two of you. That isn’t a large enough sample size for me to guess. I’d love to talk to you both more later, though. I’m not sure if diagnosing the issue would help you repair the problem, but it seemed to do wonders for Brook.”

“And me?” Flo quietly asked.

“You were a secluded elemental,” Twilight said. “Your hosts were simple people. You did not fight for long. Then you were sealed away, left secluded for ages. Finally, you were given a ray of hope. A ray that you lied to from the start.”

“Don’t you dare,” Flo said, turning bright red.

“Nav told me how you changed, Flo,” she said. “You’re a very different elemental from when you met him.”

“We are capable of change, Twilight Sparkle. Perhaps we do not malfunction. Perhaps we are traumatized! Do you know how difficult it is to watch the ones we love get hurt? I have seen Nav go through things you cannot even imagine! If you think he has been honest with you about what happened in the bunker, you are sadly mistaken. If you think you know a fraction of his tribulations, you are out of your mind. We are lucky there is a shred of sanity left in him. Do not even get me started. I want to hold that boy every time I look at him!”

Oh, to be in control of my own tear ducts… Though I suppose it’s better I not cry in front of my troops.

“You can cry all you want in private,” Aqua said in my head. “Honestly, the tears are starting to make it better. I really didn’t want to make you suffer at first, but it’s kinda starting to grow on me. I was originally planning on overwriting you all at once at the end of this mess, but I think I’ll do it slowly now. It’ll be more believable anyway.”

“...He?” Twilight asked.

“...I misspoke,” she quietly said. “And I also spoke out of line. We are not simple machines, Twilight. Our personalities are very real.”

“Either way, the point is the same. Your trauma gave you flaws. Discord used those flaws to tear away at you. You have all fallen from what you once were in some way or another. I imagine that is why he doesn’t fear you. In all honesty, that might be why he’s hiding the elements of harmony along the path to freeing you. Maybe he wants you out so you can go back to causing chaos in the world with your ‘traumatized’ personalities.”

“Yet another hefty accusation,” Aqua coldly said.

“Just idle speculation,” she replied with a shrug. “But he did seem awfully quick to make sure you survived what happened with Trixie. I bet he’s laughing himself to sleep at night thinking about all the old gods with old wounds that are all waking up at once.”

“Alright, so I see I need to have a talk with several people,” I sighed. “About things that are appropriate to say in front of certain people.”

“Again, laughable coming from you,” Aqua said.

“I wasn’t the one who just implied that Discord was planning on using your people to enact the genocide for him on this cycle.”

“...Is that what she meant?” Flo slowly asked.

“You can draw your own conclusions,” Twilight said. “I am merely offering my personal thoughts.”

“That we are bringing chaos into the world?” Rain asked.

“Look at Char,” Twilight said. “He controlled Pyrite, which almost led to a war between ponies and dragons. He also sent several dragons to their deaths in Tartarus. I’m sure that led to a lot of other pretty bad things.”

“Worst of all, it led to Momma Tintaglia,” I said with a shudder.

“Talk about your traumatizing events,” Char said. “You’re lucky you escaped that one.”

“You know what, let’s stop playing ‘Poke Nav’s Mental Bleeding Scabs’,” I said. “We’ll talk about this later. We’re finally approaching the gate anyway.”

“We will definitely talk about this later,” Aqua said. “There is no way we could be bad for this world! It’s horrifically broken! We are here to fix it!”

“You’re one to talk,” Ice said.

“Is that right, child?” she asked with a smirk.

“I said later!” I fiercely said. “Luna, get the shield back up. Everybody spread out. Twilight, support. Taya, attack. Elementals up front. All flyers, be prepared to get airborne. If anything comes out of there, be prepared to attack on sight.”

Everyone started doing as I ordered, getting themselves in order. Blaze and Char stood at the center, flanked by all the sisters. The pony squads formed up behind them. All the griffins and pegasi got in formation behind me and Luna. Twilight, Kat, and Taya stood at my side.

When everyone was in place, I called out, “Open the gates!”

I lifted my rifle up and cut the zoom as far back as possible, then balanced it on the top of Luna’s helmet. She didn’t seem to mind. Everyone else fell into some manner of attack stance as the gate slowly began creaking open.

Something oozed out. It was some kind of platinum liquid. More of it began flooding through the gate as it continued. “Brook, stop! Close the gates!” I shouted. The doors ground to a halt and then started reversing. “Hit it with fire!”

I tried shooting at it, but the bolts just dissolved into it. As soon as the unicorns began blasting it, the liquid reacted and began shooting out of the door. After a moment, the doors cracked and tore apart, allowing a gigantic wad of nanomachines to escape.

“Flyers up, distract it!” I shouted. “Whittle it down!”

I wasn’t expecting to immediately shoot into the air. Luna steadied me with magic before I could fall off. “Gird yourself, Nav!” she called.

“I need to be down there,” I said, putting a hand on her back to push myself off.

“Let your vassals do what they do best,” she said. “At the moment, this is a fight for survival, not a tactical struggle. For now, you are staying with me.”

That kinda pissed me off, but she was very unfortunately right. I slung my rifle and held on. “We need to find a way to hurt that thing,” I said. “Can your shield block it?”

“One way to find out,” she called, banking toward it. The thing was being distracted by the elementals, thankfully. The waters had combined into a group that was considerably smaller and were attempting to slice into the mass. Every time it moved to engulf them, they sliced off more of the machines, which melted into the ground and were then reclaimed by the mass. The fires were dueling smaller portions of it, cutting off all the tendrils that tried to overtake them. The unicorns were throwing whatever they could at it.

As soon as we got close, the nanomachines sent an exploratory tendril out to us. Luna’s horn lit up and a shield formed in front of it. The machines slipped off to move around the shield. Her horn lit up brighter and the shield surrounded us.

The entire mass shifted its attention toward us. Before it could reach us, Luna started flying back. It tried to grab us, but the shield blocked it. We got higher and higher, yet the thing continued following us. When we finally got to the top of the dome, the piece of shit was stretched so thin that it couldn’t follow anymore. Luna shouted and the ice above us shattered.

We burst out of the dome and she spun around, horn bright as the sun. “DRAW YOUR SWORD!” I ripped it out of its sheath and held it to the side. “HOLD ON TIGHT!” As soon as I wrapped my arm around her neck, we shot forward at the speed of sound. The magical shield around us protected us from the pressure, allowing me to slice right through the paper-thin nanomachines. My blade only claimed a few meters of it before the device retracted away from us. We continued flying, soaring away from the machine.

Once it was obvious we were no longer being followed, she slowed to a halt and released the shield. We hung in the air, her finally panting for breath. I checked my sword for machines before letting Luna’s neck go and sheathing the blade. When it was secure, I reached up and released the clasps on her helmet, then tugged it off for her.

“Breathe, Luna,” I said. I placed the helmet on the pommel and turned to check on the battle.

“I have never seen such a thing,” she panted.

“It moves like a water,” I said. That kinda gave me an idea. I reached down to her saddlebag and pulled out a canteen. “Drink.” She floated it over and did so. “I think I know what to do. We need to make it send tendrils out, then cut them off and throw them at the unicorns and the elementals so they can destroy them.”

When I was done talking, she emptied the canteen and threw it aside. “Let’s do it. My helmet, Nav?”

I placed it back on her head and held on. She took off toward the behemoth. “We need to find Watcher. That’ll let both groups know so we can coordinate.”

“May I do voodoo?”

“You may do voodoo,” I said with a grin.

Her horn flashed green and we angled straight toward the center of the group of ponies. At the moment, it was back to a stalemate. We made good time and alighted on the ground next to Watcher with ease. “My lady,” he said with a bow.

“We’re going to isolate small pieces of the device and throw them toward you and the elementals. Destroy the small pieces. Try to keep us covered.”

“Once we get a system going, I’ll assign unicorns to flyers and earth ponies,” Watcher said. “We’ll help you isolate tendrils.”

“Be careful,” I said. “One touch could be fatal to anyone without an elemental.”

“Don’t worry about us, my lady. We—”

“Shut your mouth, Watcher. Don’t you dare say a cliche on me!”

“Fine. Let’s kick some nanomachine ass. Is that better!”

“Hell yeah. Luna, let’s do it.”

She held me with magic and we shot into the air. The machines paid us no mind until we got close, then they sent out another tendril. Luna sliced it off at the base with magic and tossed the writhing thing toward the unicorns. They burned it to a crisp with magic.

The glob spasmed before retracting into a perfect dome. After a few painfully slow seconds, the dome spread open from the top and several projectiles of nanomachines shot up in an arc toward the unicorns. Watcher directed a huge fireshield above them that did nothing to the machines. Their next shield blocked them, then he bottled all the shards up into one pool before throwing them at the elementals. They dissolved the smaller blob instantly.

The slightly less huge mass melted back down into a mess and surged at us again. “This is going to take forever,” Luna said. “We have to find a way to truly kill it!”

“The only thing I could think would be freezing it and shattering it,” I said. “But I have no idea how to freeze something like that.”

“I do,” she said. “It will require time, help, and a few magics that you find distasteful.”

“What kind of distasteful?”

“It will require a few of the dragon corpses for fuel, if that gives you any hints.”

“Do it. Get Sentinel’s squad and the princess for your help. We’ll keep trying to whittle the thing down for now.”

“You are coming with me,” she said. “I need your aim.” Before I could come up with a reply, we teleported next to Sentinel. Their entire group flinched. “Report.”

“All quiet,” Sentinel reported. “What’s happening? Where’s Watcher?”

“Fighting,” I said. “We need your assistance.”

“Bring the dragon bodies to the ice,” Luna said. “Make sure they are touching it.”

“Why?” Sentinel.

“Because she told you to,” I replied. “Now isn’t the time for questions, now is the time to obey.”

The three of them bowed before rushing off to do our bidding. “And me?” Gilda asked.

“What is coming will not discriminate between those who fight and those who do not,” Luna said. “So I recommend fighting. Help the others.” Thankfully, she actually went off to help the others without another word.

Luna finally floated me off her back and set me on the ground. “Go up to the top of the ice dome. Find the hole we punched through. Use your rifle to keep aim on the beast. I will use alchemy to transfer the cold from the dome into it.”

“...Did you really need my aim for this?”

“Go. Once you are in place, do not lose sight of the monster.”

“Toss me.” Her horn lit up and threw me into the air. I used my fucked up wings to angle up the dome. “I swear to God, if she made me leave them for nothing,” I muttered as I flew along the outside of the dome.

“And what would you do, hm?” Aqua asked. “You have no idea what this thing even is, do you?”

“A wad of nanomachines,” I said. “It looks like a giant prototype water elemental. I can do a lot more good down there surrounded by brilliance than I can up here all alone.”

“You can do a lot more dying down here,” she said. “As Luna said, this is a fight for survival, not a playground for little girls. Ugh. I can’t wait to have you back in Canterlot. It’s so much safer there!”

“Nowhere near as fun, though.”

“Don’t worry, Navi. You’ll actually enjoy gossiping with Fleur, soon!”

That was too horrifying to possibly comprehend.

When I finally found the hole in the dome, I landed on it and lifted the rifle up. I had a perfect overhead display for the fight. In our absence, the ponies began working as a group to isolate smaller tendrils for the fire elementals to destroy. They didn’t seem to be making much of a dent in it. The water elementals were acting as the main distraction, keeping the giant’s focus away from the main group.

“So what have you guys tried?” I asked.

“Everything we can do,” Aqua said. “As you said, it seems to be a prototype of us. We’ve tried communicating with it with no luck. We’ve also tried hacking it. At this point, our only options are duking it out. We have the edge in make, but they most definitely have the edge in numbers. This is a beast against which we are helpless.”

“How’s it feel, Aqua?” I asked. “To be a little…” She slapped me upside the face before I could finish. “How dare you!”

“...I apologize. I should not have hit you. That will be the only time.”

“What was it you said about waters loving their hosts?” I asked. “And never hurting them?”

“...Sometimes we make mistakes.”

“How much trash talking did you do, hm? About how there are better ways to guide hosts?”

“I’m sorry you made me angry, Nav. Is that what you want to hear? How you’re so abrasive to be around constantly that having to be near you encourages physical violence? Oh, would it be better if I spanked you, maybe?”

“You shut your mouth, abuser,” I said.

“My oh my, how all that talk must sound to your daughter… I can’t believe you would ever say anything like that in front of her! It’s little wonder she lusts for you so.”

I had no more words for her. Thankfully, she didn’t hit me again and let me watch the fight in the eerie silence.

After a few minutes of watching, something landed on the ice next to me. I almost dropped the rifle before realizing it was Fog, the pegasus on Sentinel’s squad. “One minute to showtime, ma’am,” he said. “Luna said to keep your eyes on it, no matter what.”

“Good. You seen this thing yet?”

“We had a decent view of it from where we were,” he said. “The princess wants to know what it is, but none of us have ever seen anything like it except for the elementals.

“It’s a wad of nanomachines,” I said. “If I had to guess, I’d say the puppets we fought earlier were controlled by this thing. One wrong move and we become the ones guarding the wall.”

“Well, if we go down, we’ll retrofit this place like crazy. There’s defensive holes all over this place.”

“Imagine what something like that could do with Luna.”

“...No thank you,” he said. “I know she’s on our side now, but she scares me.”

“You should try rubbing her belly.”

“I prefer my hooves attached to my body. I know you enjoy saying things like that about people who are scary, but that mare was sent to the moon for a reason. Be careful, my lady.”

“No need for care,” I said. “I gave up too long ago. I accept whatever fate awaits me.”

He probably wanted to reply to that, but we both started falling before he could. He managed to catch me before we dropped too far and held me up. “What the fuck just happened?” I asked. The entire dome of ice was gone.

“Luna transferred all the temperature from the dome into the machine,” he said. I looked down at it and sure enough, it wasn’t moving.

“Talk about anticlimactic. I was expecting a light or a noise or something.”

“She just made a kilometers wide, meter thick dome of ice disappear in an instant. What more could you want?”

“A light or noise or something. I just said so. Were you not listening?”

“Forgive me, my lady. I was too busy marveling over one of the most powerful displays of magic that has ever been seen.”

“I forgive you this time, but don’t let it happen again. Now drop me.” He did so and we flew over to the group of panting ponies, who seemed excited to see us. Taya rushed to me, giggling wildly. I paused to hug her, but didn’t savor it for long. As soon as I let her go, Kat took her place back on my arm.

“What happened?” Twilight asked.

“Luna did some kind of alchemy,” I said. “Using the dragon bodies as fuel. She used the cold of the dome to do this. We need to dismantle the machine before it has a chance to thaw.”

“That’ll probably be a while,” Twilight said. “If she did what I think she did, this thing will probably sit in ice indefinitely. We can just ignore it.”

“We are going to destroy this monstrosity,” I said. “Brook, what can you guys do?”

“We’re dissolving it as quickly as we can,” she said with Watcher’s mouth. “But I’m confident that if we were given time to pick this thing apart, we could crack it.”

“I assume it’ll break free as soon as it can, if the machines are even still active,” I said. “Continue dissolving it. Griffins, pegasi, in the air! Start patrolling!” All of them shot in the skies. “Spike, go join Luna and the princess. Take Zecora and Twilight. Send Sentinel our way.”

“You got it, Nav,” he said.

“Why me?” Twilight asked.

“Because you need a rest. Some time off the tip of the spear will help. Go.”

“It’ll take more than a short walk to recover the amount of magic I’ve used,” she said. “But it’ll help. We’ll send Luna this way, too.”

“Good. I’m going to boop her for this one.”

“What about the rest of us?” Black asked. “Where are our boops?”

“The rest of you are getting paid in gold. Luna’s gotta earn something. I don’t want the labor board coming after me. Watcher, when Sentinel returns, organize ground patrols. Once we get this thing neutralized, I intend to lead a force to assault the fortress itself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “It’s getting to be night. Maybe we should get what rest we can for now and embark again in the morning.”

“I’m not leaving without making sure the fort is clear,” I replied. “I don’t want to come back tomorrow to find the place has been re-garrisoned. Or worse, another one of these things. At the very least, we need to scout it out so we can know what we’re dealing with when we come back tomorrow.”

“If there is another one, how do we deal with it?” Taya asked.

“We’ll use some of the ship unicorns and draw a max size magic circle and just wipe this place off the map entirely. That’s what we should have done from the start.”

“What about potential loot?” Felix said.

“So far, nothing we’ve seen has been worth dealing with all the bullshit,” I replied. “It’ll be interesting to see what’s in there, but at this point, my hopes aren’t high.”

“Do you want us to begin preliminary scouting?” Brook asked through Watcher. “A few sisters could probably scope the fortress out fairly quickly. It would not slow the deconstruction too much.”

“Go with care. Be prepared to run immediately.”

“Of course,” she said. “We will keep you apprised. This should not take long.”

“Should we really let them go in alone?” Taya asked.

“First rule of combat,” I said. “If somebody else volunteers to do something stupid but useful for you, don’t say no.”

“I thought the first rule was don’t get hit,” Watcher said.

“No, that’s dodgeball,” I replied.

“I thought it was not being in the same squad as someone more brave than you,” Grey said.

“That goes against my first rule,” I said. “The brave one is the dumb one who volunteers for stupid shit.”

“Right, but I’m not in a squad with them. You won’t see me going in there with no backup.”

“Fair enough. So when we get back to the ship, who’s next in line for belly rubs after my daughter?”

“Princess Gilda,” Watcher replied.

“No, I’ll be paying a visit to her dreams. She can make all the noise she wants there.”

“You are sooo lucky those griffins didn’t actually catch you,” Kat said.

“Those little bitches ain’t gonna do shit. I promise that she’s easier to put up with now than she was before our late night visits started, if you can believe it. They’d probably thank me for calming her down.”

“Before or after they murder you for doing lewd things with their unwed, virgin princess?” Watcher asked.

“No clue what you’re talking about,” I said. “There’s literally nothing lewd about belly rubs.” Taya cleared her throat. I ignored it.

“Did she ask you to deny it or something?” he asked. “You usually brag more about this kind of thing.”

“If I ever soiled the last virgin princess of the great griffin empire, I promise I would never tell a soul. For both our sakes.”

He snorted. “Well, you can trust us to keep it secret, regardless. We’ve cast our lot in with you, now. If you get into trouble over this, it’ll come back to haunt us, too. But if you haven’t laid claim to her yet, does that mean she’s open for the taking?”

“You’re welcome to try your luck,” I replied. “But you’re not her type.”

“Oh? Does she prefer bipeds?”

“You’ll have to ask her yourself. Looks like she’s on the way over.” Sentinel was leading the group, surrounded by a small bubble of magic. Spike was walking next to Gilda. Onyx followed behind them. Luna wasn’t with them.

“...Why is Sentinel covered in blood?” Kat asked.

I pulled my rifle up to check. Sure enough, she was pretty much caked in it. She also did not look very happy at all. Gilda seemed pale as a ghost. Spike looked sick. I couldn’t see Onyx clearly, but he definitely wasn’t covered in blood.

“Well, this is going to be interesting,” I said, putting my rifle down. “Watcher, send out the first patrols.”

“You don’t want to wait for her?” he asked.

“No.”

“...Black, link up with Nightshade. Patrol north. Smoke every five minutes. Green for clear, red for hostile. If you find something, fall back.” Black Fate bowed and his team started trotting off. “Rose, take the others and group up with the other pegasi. The team going west will use yellow and white smoke. The team going south will use orange and blue.”

“I should be by your side, sir,” Rose said.

“No. We need the numbers out there. I must stay by our lady’s side.” She bowed and walked away without a word, taking the rest of the guards with her. When they were out of earshot, Watcher snorted. “So why did you want them gone?”

“I don’t think we’re going to like what we’re about to hear. I don’t want unnecessary opinions.”

“...You can say what you mean, Nav. You don’t want any witnesses.”

I crossed my arms and watched them approach in silence. As soon as they got close enough for everyone else to see clearly, the muttering began, but nobody spoke up.

When they were finally standing in front of us, I realized Sentinel’s horn wasn’t glowing. After they had stopped for a moment, the shield around them dispersed. “That mare is a monster!” Gilda shouted.

“Which mare?” I asked.

“Take a guess!” Spike shouted. “Sentinel could never do something like that!”

“So what did Luna do?” I asked.

“She eviscerated the corpses!” Sentinel growled. “Right after I had placed the last one against the ice!”

“I’ve… never seen anything like it!” Spike said. “It was… it was so horrific, but I couldn’t look away! Just… plastered against the ground like… like some kind of morbid medical experiment! But… all the organs were black and rotten!”

“They weren’t when she started,” Gilda said with a shiver. “That was some effect of the foul magic she used! It ripped all the magic from them, rotting them from the inside out!”

“I threw up,” Onyx groaned from the back.

“Man. I coulda lived without those details. So where is she?”

“On the ship, recovering,” Sentinel coldly said. “She collapsed as soon as the dome disappeared. Still conscious, but too weak to go on. It also absorbed almost all of my magic. Twilight had to give us the shield.”

“You should have gone with her to rest,” Watcher said. “We’re just about wrapping up here. The waters are about halfway finished with scouting the interior. Minus any hidden rooms, there appear to be no more defenders within. There are plenty of traps, though. They’re disabling some as they go, but others are magical.”

“What about loot?” I asked. “Was this a waste of time or did we at least break even?”

“They’ve found several artifacts from dozens of cultures. If I had to guess, I’d say they were the belongings of the various defenders across time. It looks like most of them have been maintained, but there’s no telling yet how much of it will be useful.”

“Are you more concerned about treasure hunting than what you just heard?” Sentinel demanded.

“Do not speak to your lady that way,” Watcher quietly said.

“It’s fine,” I said. “What do you want me to do, Sentinel?”

“Act shocked, at the very least! What that mare did was utterly monstrous and black magic of the darkest sort!”

“What, alchemy?” I asked.

“Necromantic alchemy!”

“Well, are you surprised to find that mare is willing to use that kind of stuff?”

“Nav, that wasn’t…” Spike paused, before gulping. “She… she was still giggling when we arrived, blood dripping down her face. She enjoyed that!”

“I think it’s valuable to have a vassal who enjoys serving me,” I said.

“WHAT?!” Gilda shouted. The griffin guards halfway across the fortress heard it and spun toward us. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to be in a hurry to head our way.

“Look, we all knew going into this that working with Luna was going to be… difficult. She is insane, traumatized, obsessed with revenge, possibly mentally unstable, has basically no compass of morality at all, and an unhealthy dose of super illegal fucked up magic that should never be seen in the light of day. I’m sorry to sound so blase, but I don’t know how you expect me to act shocked by this.”

“...What are you?” Sentinel quietly asked. “How can you stand to be so… nonchalant! When was the last time you’ve taken anything seriously?”

“I keep the lives of my team and my crew in the forefront of my mind in everything I do, Sentinel. Every action I take is designed to minimize our casualties while inflicting as many as possible on the enemy. If it takes black magic, so be it. What are a few corpses? At least all of us made it.”

“And what will you say the next time she needs a power source?” Sentinel asked. “I bet fresh dragon would—”

“Don’t you dare,” I said. “I would never murder an innocent or an ally to further my goals. I do not betray my own. But if a fallen enemy can come to help us, I will welcome it.”

“...Then what makes you different than Celestia?” Sentinel asked.

“That is enough!” Watcher said.

“Do you doubt our goals?” I asked. “Celestia aims for domination and control, forcing the world into stagnation for the sake of her little weak ponies. She’s turned into their everything. I want to free them from that control, from her oppression. And more than that, I want to rid the world of Discord once and for all.”

“And she wants a soul!” Taya said.

“We’ll go with need, but we can definitely tack that on there. Luna is good at what she does. There’s no reason to let her talents go to waste.”

“And what happens when you rid the world of Celestia?” Sentinel asked. “Are you just going to turn over power? Not become the next big tyrant?”

Watcher’s horn lit up and a magical muzzle appeared around her mouth. “Taya, teleport Sentinel back to the ship. She needs to rest from her ordeal.”

I held up a hand. “Watcher, don’t silence my subjects. Release her.”

Before he could, Taya’s horn lit up and Sentinel teleported away. “That’s what she gets for questioning mommy!”

“That’s not how things get done, Taya,” I said. “We can’t just browbeat people into agreeing with us.”

“Sometimes you have to, my lady,” Watcher said. He looked up to the other three and narrowed his eyes. “Does anyone else need to rest?”

“Yes, I guess sometimes I do. Taya, newspaper?” She blinked, but then teleported a paper in from Ponyville. I rolled it up and popped Watcher on the head with it. “We can’t just browbeat people into agreeing with us, Watcher!”

“Fine, I agree with you.”

“Go—Hey!”

“Don’t hit me with a newspaper again, my lady.”

I tossed the thing aside, letting it blow away into the wind before smacking into Blaze and Char, who were finally moving to join us. “Already throwing stuff at us before we even report?” Char asked, trying to pretend to sound hurt.

“Cry me a ladle. So what’s your report?”

“As far as we can tell, all the smaller chunks of the horde have been eliminated. The water elementals are taking care of what’s left of it. Some of them have already begun scouting. We would like permission to join them.”

“No, we’re pulling back after they finish scouting,” I said.

“Why? The fight has only just begun. There is still much work to be done!”

“Because most of our unicorns are down and they’ve found a lot of magical traps in there. The waters haven't found any actual hostiles. They’ll fall back when they’re done and we’ll call it a day. When we have more people recovered, we’ll continue.”

“And in the meantime we sit and cool our heels?” Blaze asked. “I am not afraid of any traps. My brother and I can circumvent them just as well as any water!”

“Look, we all want to know what’s in there and none of us trust the waters to tell us the truth,” I said. “We will go in as soon as we are ready.”

“You cannot stop us,” Blaze said.

“No, but I can promise you no backup until we are ready. If you go in there and something happens, it’ll be just the two of you.”

“I am in no hurry,” Char replied. “I do not mistrust our watery brethren, but I will be happy to see things with my own eyes come morning.”

“Strike while the iron is hot,” Blaze said. “If there are survivors, they must be reeling. We must press the assault before we lose the advantage and have to storm the gates again!”

“It’s not that I disagree with you,” I said. “But the waters haven’t found any survivors and they’re probably almost done searching by now. I’m fairly confident that as tired as most of us are, we wouldn’t be able to find much more than they could. If you wanna go, I won’t try to stop you. If we have to go in and save you, I will absolutely hold it over you for basically ever.”

He turned and stalked toward the fortress without a word. “Should you really goad him so?” Char asked.

“What do you mean, goad him?” I asked. “I was just explaining things to him. Not my fault he took it personal.”

He rolled his eyes. “Always an excuse. So what do you think his chances are?”

“Oh, he’s totally toast,” I said with a grin. “So, should we make camp here or try to return to the ship?”

“We send Twilight and Taya back and have them draw a teleport circle in the hole we cut out of the mountain,” Watcher said. “Then we use the one Luna drew earlier to set up a quick entry and exit solution. You, your daughter, and the princess can return to the ship. Once we check over all the ground out here, I’ll coordinate with the elementals and we’ll organize more patrols. Once things are settled, I’ll start rotating troops so everyone gets a rest.”

“Sounds good. I’ll take Gilda and Taya. We’ll inform Twilight. We’ll pop white smoke when the teleporter is live.”

“What about me?” Spike asked.

“Stay here for now,” I replied. “Help Watcher with the patrols. The princess will be perfectly safe on the ship. You stay here as well, Kat.”

“Why do you get to go?” Spike asked.

“Because that absorb life is wearing off and the incense isn’t working as well as it was. My daughter and I need to get back soon before we pass out in the dirt.”

“Oh. Then have fun with the princess, Navi.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real mom. Come on, girls. Let’s go.”

Taya’s horn lit up and the three of us teleported halfway there. “I didn’t want to go too much further,” she said. “But I had to make sure you got the last say!”

“Good filly,” I said, petting her mane.

“Are you really so brazen as that?” Gilda asked. “Treating your daughter so openly like a pet?”

“So what do you think I should do about Luna? Sentinel seemed to think I should rein her in. What’s the princess’s take?”

She stared at me in silence for a few seconds before sighing and beginning to walk. We followed. “I don’t even want to think about that monster,” she said. “And it is hardly my place to tell you how to rule your servants, though you certainly seem to think you can do it as you’d like. Should you punish a mistreated hound for bad behavior? It seems unfair. And when I look at Luna, that is all I see: A mistreated little puppy looking for a good master to give her better directions. I hope you are the one she seeks.”

“Yeah, so do I. It would be awfully unpleasant if she turned on me.”

“Especially given you intend to eradicate her sister. How sure are you that she can be trusted?”

“If not, I’m as good as dead anyway. I don’t think any force I could scrape together would be enough to defeat both of them working together, not unless I got Pyrite involved.”

“Well, I hope you are successful. I would rather have you ruling to the south than Celestia, even if you feel the need to threaten us.”

“I promise to pay you a visit in your dreams tonight if you forgive me. We can… talk about all kinds of things.”

“That is an acceptable trade,” she replied with the fairest hint of a blush. “It will do much to help me get over the horrors I witnessed.”

“Anything to help ease your burden, of course.”

“You don’t have to be subtle,” Taya said. “It’s just me here.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Gilda immediately replied.

“Me either,” I said with a shrug. “You don’t need to act up for attention, honey. I’ll be happy to rub your belly all you want when we get back to the ship!”

She sweetly giggled. “Sounds fun, mommy! But if you ever want me to soundproof your room, feel free to ask!”

A full blush started spreading across Gilda’s face, but neither of us replied.

When we finally got to our original entry-point, Zecora was the only one present. She was poking over the dragon remains, taking samples and placing them in empty jars. She didn’t notice us walking up.

“Where’s Twilight?” I asked when we were sufficiently close.

“Drawing a teleportation circle in the hole,” Zecora said, finally looking up. “We thought it would help facilitate traffic to and from the ship.”

“Good. That’s actually what I was coming to tell her to do. She shouldn’t have left you alone, though. There’s no telling what’s out there.”

“I believe, at the moment, that I am in no danger. The spirits of these warriors are grateful to us for freeing them from servitude. The naga spirits have agreed to work with me for now in exchange for a favor.”

“What favor is that?” I asked.

“They want the hammer of their leader taken back to a clan home so that their story and demise can be recorded.”

“Yeah, we can do that. Point it out and I’ll take it with us on the first wave back to the ship. We can send it with the naga the next time he returns to his home.”

She bowed her head. “Thank you, my lady. This will help them move on.”

Twilight suddenly teleported in on the pad with a zap. “Oh, there you are,” she said with a grin. “We can get back to the ship easily now.”

“Taya, pop white smoke,” I said. “A few meters away.” Her horn lit up and white smoke started spewing out of nowhere a dozen meters away. “Alright, so who wants to get the fuck out of this desolate wasteland for a few hours?”

“Sounds good to me,” Twilight said with a sigh. “This place was draining.”

“A whole lot of fun, though,” I said with a grin. Zecora beckoned Taya over and they started rummaging through the naga corpses.

“I don’t quite agree that this trip was fun,” Twilight said. “You can see the aftermath from what Luna did for yourself.”

“Eh, it’s whatever.” When Zecora found the hammer, Taya trotted back over, carrying the giant thing with magic. “So, shall we get the fuck out of here?”

“Let’s,” Twilight said with a nod. All four of us congregated on the pad, leaving Zecora behind. “Are you staying?”

“I will burn these bodies, then join Watcher,” Zecora said. “He will likely have need of me.”

“‘Kay. Good luck down here,” I said.

“Rest easy, Nav. I feel the hard part still lies ahead.”

“We’ll see.” Twilight’s horn lit up and we finally teleported back to the ship.