Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jk13b7YtKlC-mgBGxIbFVSpXgQ3nu_LArKnKNOg5ubI/edit

After I’d had my way with Doppel and Kat, I entered the world of dreams to avoid my own dreams and do some nightmare busting. Before I had time to get oriented, Luna appeared before me. I wasn’t much in the mood to deal with her bullshit, but I knew being diplomatic would be wise. “Howdy.”

“Hello, Navarone,” she said.

She didn’t seem to have anything else to say, so I rubbed the back of my neck and asked, “So uh… How’s Tartarus?”

“You told Reginald where I was.”

“Well, would you look at the time? It’s—”

“I’m not angry.” Oh thank god. “We finally had a talk that we should have had a very long time ago.”

She fell silent again. Her eyes were beating down on me with a very uncomfortable intensity. “...Coooool. So, I’m just gonna—”

“Is your offer still on the table, Navarone?”

“Yes, but your sister… isn’t a fan.”

“Celestia no longer concerns me,” she coldly replied. “I have disowned that mare.”

“Oh. Good. So uh… What did the two of you discuss?”

“The past. The present. The future. You. My sister. The world. Discord… Each other.”

“...Anything that’s my business?”

She started walking around me, circling me. I let her and just continued facing forward. “Perhaps. There is something you should know about Tartarus, Navarone. It is not just a prison. It is also a stronghold from Discord. It has never fallen to him. Part of why I came here was to lend them my strength for when Discord returned. Now that I know for sure that it has happened, I know that I am needed now more than ever. The time for self-hatred is over.”

“He paid us a few visits recently,” I replied, crossing my arms. “He turned Celestia into a filly and then a foal. He also stole her horn.” She snorted. “I pretended to be her until she got turned back. Apparently he also created me. I’m working to free myself of his grasp.”

“...That explains much,” she slowly replied, still circling me. “Why I lost myself so heavily to you. You were designed to make my sister and I fall.”

“Not willingly, I assure you,” I hastily said. “I had no idea he made me until just recently.”

“Hm. The pain you felt was real. The sorrow and suffering you experienced would be impossible to fake. I am sorry for everything you have been through, Navarone. And I cannot help but feel the need to apologize for all that remains, as well. This is not a path we willingly tread.” She finally stopped in front of me, uncomfortably close. “This is not a path any of us can tread alone. I am ready to stand with you if you are prepared to have me.”

“Luna… Are you sure you want to get involved in this fight?” I asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You have a chance to sit back and watch. No one would blame you.”

“My image may be shattered, my reputation, tarnished, but my place is still with my ponies. I will not sit idly by while that monster destroys them!”

My hand pulled back and my arms crossed again. “Celestia might oppose us. I’m trying to redeem her, but she has a long way to go. I think she’s planning on double-crossing me when I bring her all the Elements of Harmony.”

Her eyes flashed and her horn lit up a sickly green. “I put that mare in power with a smile on my face. In return, she gave me agony. I will enjoy toppling her from her place.”

“...As a last resort.”

The light around her horn vanished and she looked away. “As you wish.”

“Luna…” She sighed and hung her head. I slowly walked forward and hugged her. “I will help you overcome your past. I will help you discover something good inside of you.”

“...Reginald made me a promise, Navarone,” she quietly said. “He told me that if you forgive me after we have finished in Tartarus, he will leave Pyrite’s service and return to my side. I will do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness.”

“Did you love him?”

“...I don’t know. My mind was… addled, then. I was too focused on the wrong things. I never stopped to reflect. Not until… I had no choice. Not until I found myself alone for one thousand years. It gave me time to reflect on who I was. What I had done. Of course, as soon as I was freed, I felt myself attaching to one who I thought could understand my pain. One who also found himself… very much alone. I used you to abate my loneliness, to mask my pain, to hide my suffering. And in turn… I inflicted it all upon you. I consider you my biggest mistake. Some part of me still hopes I’ll wake up one day to discover it had all been a horrible nightmare that I was forced to watch. To know that I did those things of my own accord… sickens me.”

“Discord has been free since I came here,” I said. “There’s no telling what he might have done to who, including you.”

“I will not hide behind that excuse,” she replied, pulling away from my hug. “My failures are my own and I will make up for them on my own. With the assistance of you and my one remaining friend, I will drag myself out of this miasma.”

“...I think you’re gonna have a lot more than one friend by the time this is over.”

She smiled grimly. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“I’m looking forward to all of this being over with. I’ve fought for so long. I just want some peace for myself and my friends.”

“I’m afraid that we live in interesting times, Navarone,” she said.

“Yeah, they’re pretty shitty ones. Watcher expressed concern about working with you.”

“...In a different time, that stallion would have served me very well. I will seek him out in his dreams. Alone. I want him to see my sincerity.”

“I understand.” The two of us fell silent. Honestly, I didn’t know what else needed to be said.

“So Discord created you?” she finally asked.

“That’s what he said,” I replied with a shrug. “Twilight could never show me the spell that she used. It’s possible Discord put the idea for it in her head.”

“Hm. Should you survive his demise, what will you do?”

“...If I have my way, I’ll retire from the world. I’ll learn to live with my deformities and curses and avoid as much responsibility as possible. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll get my way. I’ve made myself important and that means people will rely on me. “

Her eyes beat into mine. “The future can be a very malleable thing, Navarone.”

“The way your ex-sister harps on about fate, I’d say she disagrees.”

“...Fate. Hmph. What my sister will never tell you about fate is that it is akin to throwing a dart at a target that may or may not be there in the future. Many would-be seers predict all manner of things. Most never come to pass. The tricky thing about fate that many short-lived mortals never realize is that nothing that is fated is guaranteed to happen. A fate is just one possibility out of many. Celestia takes notes of predicted fates, chooses those she prefers, and does everything in her power to make them happen. You have caused more than one fate to fail, Navarone.”

That’s actually not surprising. “Oh?”

“There was another fated to save the Crystal Empire, for example. And there was another fated to stop Chrysalis when she attacked. Celestia was using those events, along with a few others, as tests. Your intervention has already changed the course of history. It is part of why my sister is so cautious of you. At the moment, you stand surrounded by several very influential entities. With the right timing, you could change the fate of this world forever.”

Gotta love that pressure, huh? “I just want to kill Discord and live in peace.”

“Time will tell what part you will play. Do you fear for your safety around my sister, Navarone?”

“Not yet. There’s a chance she might betray me, but she still needs me at the moment.”

“...With your permission, I will prepare a talisman that will allow you to call upon me from anywhere. You can use it to summon me should you ever need my help. It is the same manner of device that I used to save Reginald.”

I’m really not sure if I want her to have access to me at all times. “I’ll consider it. With luck, I’ll never need it.”

“You are very unlucky.” Don’t I fucking know it. “Will you be available to talk later?”

“Probably, yeah. My schedule might be inconsistent, but I’ll definitely be around.”

“Then I’m afraid my duties must take me elsewhere. Farewell for now, Navarone.” Before I could say anything, she vanished.

“Well alrighty then…” With her gone, I finally went on to fight some dreams and make some people happy.

And horny, of course.

When I woke up, I was alone on my bed and back to a female changeling body. Kat was opening the blinds and Doppel was presumably going about her duties elsewhere. Since I just fed on Kat, I turned back to my original body and stretched. “It’s good to be normal,” I said with a yawn.

Kat’s eyes turned to me and she looked me up and down. “You’re missing your wings.”

“No I’m not. This is how I’m supposed to look. The wings were the first mutation.”

“...Oh. I think you look better with them.” I’m sure you do. She went back to opening blinds and I regretfully morphed into my completely fucked up body so I could get dressed. “Doppel and I both think that staying as a changeling would be a mistake.”

“Why is that?” I asked as I hunted down clothes.

“Any other changelings will be able to pick up your scents, causing confusion. It’s also possible for changelings to lose their disguises for any number of reasons, such as magical shields or loss of concentration. Having to explain to everyone why you’re suddenly a changeling would be very difficult. We’re of the opinion that it’s something you could do occasionally, but whenever you have important plans, you’ll need to be yourself.”

Guess who has important plans today? God dammit. “Ugh, whatever. No one ever lets me have any fun…”

“You weren’t complaining last night. What do you think of Spider’s work?”

“I haven’t looked,” I replied, still steadfastly not looking. “Think Taya’s awake yet? If I’m gonna get turned back, I’d rather not be forced to look at everyone’s emotional auras.”

“Their… what now?” I had a feeling that would get her mind off Spider.

“Changelings can see everyone’s emotional states. It shows up as an aura around their body. It can definitely be useful, but it’s also occasionally distracting. They also can’t smell, but they make up for that by emitting and being able to follow pheromone trails. That’s how Doppel knew immediately that I was a changeling. That’s also why she always smells funky.”

“Huh. That sounds incredibly useful.”

“As you said, though, there are definitely downsides. I can’t smell anything, I can’t eat anything, other changelings would recognize me, and I have a risk of changing back to my default body. I’ll probably take advantage of it intermittently, but I guess it’s not something I can do permanently…”

“Right, because you’re not allowed to have fun,” she sarcastically replied. “Anyway, I want you to go talk to Spider today.”

“Oooh, don’t know about that,” I said. “Might not be able to pencil it in with all the time I’m gonna be spending on my reputation.”

“Well, since Taya is probably still asleep and you won’t be going anywhere until she turns you back, you might as well do it now!”

“I mean, I still need to—”

“You are going to go talk to that little tom if I have to drag you there. You’re going to ask him how his room is working out and you’re going to tell him he’s doing a good job.”

“You are very, very bossy for a blood servant. Or a vassal. Aren’t you supposed to be subservient or whatever?”

“Watcher says we’re supposed to make you do things that are good for you, even if you don’t like doing them.”

I slowly looked past her, at the tree hanging over the edge of the cliff. “How’s talking to a child about architectural design good for me?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You need to form a better relationship with him and you need to stop being afraid of him.”

“I’m not—”

“Nav. Please.”

God dammit. “Fine. Whatever. I miss the days when people would listen to me when I said I didn’t want to do something. Now I get forced into every fucking thing, no matter how much I don’t want to. Stupid beauty pageant that I want nothing to do with, Gourd’s retarded questions, dressing up like a fucking prissy little lady, all this bullshit. Becoming a better person is starting to seem less and less worth it every time I get forced to do more retarded-ass shit.”

She sighed. “I won’t actually make you do it, Nav. That was a joke. I just think you should do it. He’s just a child and he’s so far from home… All he has in this huge new world is us, and even most of the ponies here want nothing to do with him. He’s so nice and eager to please, even though he knows almost everyone is wary of him.” Maybe he should consider not being a creepy fucking spider, then. Hell, I get turned into bullshit every other day. All he has to do is ask and I’m sure Taya would be happy to turn him into a pony.

“I already said both fine and whatever, so I’m gonna do it. But I’m gonna do my best to make you feel guilty about forcing me to.”

“How ever will I make it?” she sarcastically replied.

“Maybe with some vibrating panties,” I said. “Or two large vibrators held in place somehow. I’ll definitely have the remote, of course.”

“...That would make me a lot less useful as a guard,” she slowly replied. “I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on protecting you.”

“Well, it’s a thought for the future.” I grabbed a heavy coat and walked over to the door leading out. When I got to it, I looked over at the tree. “You sure he’s awake?”

“Nav, you’re watching him move around.”

Yeah, I totally was. He had filled a pretty good portion of the weeping willow with his hot sticky wads and was working on shaking snow out of a new part of it. A part of me wondered how he was staying warm. A darker part of me wished he would freeze to death so I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. I shushed that part of me with a sigh and opened the door. A blast of cold air slapped me in the face as I stepped out onto the snowy staircase.

Since I didn’t want to slip and break my neck, I flew off the edge and down to the ground. There were a few well-beaten snow paths all around the yard. I picked the one that Spider made with his eight shitty legs and began walking to the tree.

When I finally got to the cliff, I realized I had no idea what to say. Thankfully, Kat gave me a pretty easy script. “You haven’t frozen to death up there, have you?”

The poor kid jumped at my voice and almost fell out of the tree and off the cliff, but managed to put his ridiculous number of legs to good use. Once he realized it was just me, he scampered down to a lower branch. His aura was bright yellow. “I do not feel the cold, high mistress,” he said. “Before I met Kat, I did not even know temperature existed!”

Wonder why they’re immune but changelings can’t handle it. “Weird. You sure you want to live out here all by your lonesome? There’s room for you in the house.” I wouldn’t exactly say you’re welcome, but I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring you.

“The view out here is nice. It also allows me to hunt birds. And I like climbing around the tree.”

“...As long as you’re careful. One mistake and you might find yourself very flat.” And what a shame that would be.

“Kat and I practiced catching myself with webbing while falling. She told me it would be valuable in some fights. If I ever slip, I believe I will be fine.”

“Well, alright. It definitely looks like you’re making yourself comfortable up there. I’m sure all the local pegasi who see it are going to be talking about it.” Hopefully in a good way. Though I’m not sure there is a good way to talk about a giant spider. “That wind from the cliff is freezing my nipples off, so I’m heading in. I’ll see you later, Spider.”

“Farewell for now, high mistress,” he said, somehow managing to bow up there. His aura never slipped off yellow. I turned and started walking back to the house. Jak was currently walking to the workshop, a cup of something steaming in one of his oversized hands. A few of the guards and crew were out making snowponies. In the house, I could see more ponies in three of the windowed rooms. Kat was also on the bottom floor, talking with Silver and Doppel.

My first target was Jak. I got to him as he was opening the door to the workshop. “You find everything you need in town?” I asked.

“Most everything, aye,” he said as he walked in. I followed him without asking permission, because I’m rude and I owned the place anyway. “There are a few odds and ends I need that you can’t pick up in standard shops. I’ll be sending Smiles out to find a few of them soon. I’ll spend today organizing everything.”

At the moment, the workshop was cluttered to hell and back. There were boxes of tools sitting everywhere and nothing looked like it was where it was supposed to be. “You gonna need help moving that anvil?”

“Yes. I will recruit a few guards to assist me. Or maybe some of the crew. I might as well put their magic to use before they depart. You needn’t worry, lassie. I have everything in hand.”

What part of me makes this guy think I like being treated like a little kid? “Would it be possible to make improved armor for everyone before we head to Tartarus? And have you put any thought into weapons ponies might could use?”

“Yes to both. It’s a shame that dragon scalemail didn’t work out. I made suits for half the guards before you told me it was haunted.”

“...Do you still have it?”

“I believe Gourd had it dumped in one of the warehouses. The armor would be worth a fortune if the curse was removed. To the right buyer, it would be worth even more as it is.”

“Twilight was working on that, I think. I’ll give her one of the sets next time she comes by. If nothing else, they could wear it ceremonially. It’s certainly very imposing.” And it makes my ass look amazing.

…

Not that it matters, of course.

“Perhaps. The first thing I will forge is a prototype weapon. Then I will get back to work on my golem and let Smiles begin crafting new armor and more weapons. The lazy git has some skill, when he gets his head out of the clouds long enough to use it.” Is that actually a compliment? Smiles must be really good, then.

“If you don’t want the mage’s tower finding out about your runes, be careful where you have that golem roaming around. They’re already uncomfortably interested in me. If they find out about that, they’ll be all over this place.”

“Let them come,” he said, waving one of his large hands. “I have learned enough that I could teach them the basics, should they prove talented enough to be my students. Athena is a very dry but effective teacher and has spent enough time alone that she is happy to teach me everything I desire, now that I have proven myself to her. She asks about you often, as well. I believe she would like it if you visited more.”

“Probably. Truth be told, I find her all manner of creepifying.”

“...As do I. I get past it by reminding myself that she’s a very old and lonely woman. I do not think she would ever harm us. To her, we are completely harmless children. Sometimes children make mistakes. You do not harm them if they do, you just rebuke them and teach them a lesson.”

“Yeah, that’s the part that worries me. I don’t want to get turned into a newt.” He slowly lifted an eyebrow. “Or anything else, for that matter. Thankfully, Twilight has the book at the moment, so I have an excuse not to visit.”

“You are a very poor friend.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later, Jak.”

“Forerunner,” he said with a nod. My business there was done and it was still really cold in that building, so I went back outside.

Watcher and Gourd were walking my way. Watcher’s horn was lit up and the snow was melting around the two of them. I met them halfway to the house, because I really wanted to be in that field of warmth. My body started heating up as soon as I got to the edge of the melted snow. The two of them stopped. “Good morning, Nav,” Gourd said.

“Shut your whore mouth, Gourd. And good morning. You two need something?”

“The ship’s gonna head out some time today, unless you need it for anything else,” Gourd said. “We’re heading north. First to Gryphus and then to the Crystal Empire. We should be back within a week.”

“I’ll be sending some of my guards with the ship,” Watcher said. “And a single squad will go with the changeling ship.”

“Along with one of my crew,” Gourd quickly added.

“When are they leaving?” I asked.

“Tonight,” Gourd said. “They’re carrying a few passengers and time-sensitive packages all the way to the other coast. Once they get there, my crew members will look for more work.”

“Might want to talk to the royal guard outpost in whatever city they’re heading to,” I said. “Celestia’s apparently looking to pull all the sailors out of Atlantis. Not sure if she’d pay or not, but it’s worth looking into.”

“Royal contract work pays well,” Watcher said. “And any ship carrying ex-guards will have first pick of the jobs. That’ll be worth looking into.”

“After your trade route up north is done, what were you planning?” I asked Gourd.

“I’ll sell off the last of the stuff we picked up and then tally up the profit,” he said. “We netted quite a nice fortune last haul. Or at least, I thought it was. Once we see what we made this time, we’ll either take that route again or look for a different one.”

“I’m probably gonna need the ship in about a week and a half,” I said. “Twilight and I are attending a festival in Gryphus.” Watcher snorted. “Once that festival is over, I’m going to talk to Princess Gilda about a favor she owes me. If she’s ready to deliver, I’m going to be breaking into the Zone of Alienation.”

“What is that?” Gourd asked.

“A... very dangerous place,” Watcher slowly replied. “A very dangerous place that we have no business in. What could possibly possess you to try your luck there?”

“It’s where Doctor Anonymous created everything you know,” I said. “That facility is a human installation, a place where we might be able to find some very useful information and, with luck, tools. It’s guarded for a reason. I want to know why.”

“Remember what happened the last time you found a human installation?” Gourd asked.

“Yes. That’s why I’m not going into this one alone. I’m going to have my people and Gilda’s people. You motherfuckers can be my ghost shields.”

“Glad we mean so much to you, my lady,” Watcher sarcastically replied. “Do you have any information about the target?”

“None at all. Hell, I don’t even know where it is. I’m hoping Brook, Gilda, or Twilight will be able to fill me in. Any info you can find would also be useful.”

“I’ll see what I can find, but no promises,” he replied.

“Anyway, the reason we came out here was to ask you something,” Gourd said. “We want you to talk to everypony.”

“Specifically, we want you to fill the guards and crew in on what exactly is going on,” Watcher said. “What we’re doing in Canterlot, what your plans are while we’re here, when we’re going to Tartarus, what exactly we’re doing flying around all over the place, everything you know about Discord, and any future plans you might have. With the bonus they’re about to get and with no real plans or information, some of them are thinking about jumping ship.”

“I’ll give everyone a few hours to wake up, get some food, and get moving around,” I said. “Then we can get them all together and talk to them.” It’ll also give me time to think of something to say. “I don’t suppose you know how to turn someone into a human?” I asked Watcher.

“I’m afraid not. Who do you want to turn human?”

“Me. I’m currently a changeling. I guess I’ll have to wait until Taya is up.”

“Or go visit your favorite princess,” Gourd said with a grin.

“I’m not going all the way to the Crystal Empire for this. I’d sooner visit Twilight or Celestia.”

“That’s not what I… Never mind.”

“While you’re traveling, keep an eye out for anyone looking for maid or butler type work,” I said. “I doubt too many people will want to displant themselves to come all the way to Canterlot, but you never know.”

“You got it, Nav,” he said with a nod.

“And I’ve been keeping an ear out as well,” Watcher said. “No luck, so far.”

“There has to be someone out there desperate enough to work for me,” I sighed. “We just gotta find them.”

“When are you doing that interview?” Watcher asked. “Clearing the air and getting rid of some of those rumors about you might help.”

“When I get back,” I said. “I got too much on my plate, otherwise. I don’t have time to set up an interview.” Not to mention that I really don’t want to.

I’m sure they both probably realized that, but were thankfully loyal enough to not say it. “Your plate’s full enough,” Gourd said. “I’m sure Fleur would be happy to set it up.”

“Fleur has her own hands full,” I sighed. “I don’t suppose I could just waltz up to a newspaper writer and tell them I’ll do an interview?”

“...You would have to pick the right one,” Watcher slowly said. “And given that you tend to point knives at them, they would be cautious at best.”

“Hell, I don’t read the fucking news. I have no idea who’s who. How’s this shit normally done, then?”

“They would typically approach you,” Watcher said. “You have to remember that nothing about you is normal, though. If you’re going to do it, you might as well do it differently. I’m sure if you went for a face-to-face with any major writer, they could handle the rest. The problem is finding the right one.”

“Which is something Fleur can help with,” I said. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t already have an interview or seven lined up.”

“She is a very capable mare,” Watcher said. “It’s nice to see her using her abilities to help the world. Speaking of capable mares, I happened to run into somepony in my dreams last night.”

“Sounds like a hell of a dream,” Gourd said, a naughty grin coming to his face.

“I spoke to Luna last night,” I said. “She told me she would speak to you. I guess she did.”

“She did,” Watcher said with a nod. “She has done some very morally reprehensible things.”

“So have I,” I said, crossing my arms.

“...So have I,” he sighed, hanging his head. “At the moment, all of us share a common enemy and a common goal. I will work with her. You will have to talk the others into it.”

“Which I guess is part of the upcoming talk,” I sighed. “Man, life sure sucks.”

“You gotta find the upsides as you can,” Gourd said with a shrug. “At least you’re surrounded by warm and loving companions!”

“I could do with a lot less of that,” I said, staring at him. His ears flicked a few times and he looked away. “Too many people, yourself included, seem to be doing what they think is the best for me.”

“That’s what friendship is,” Watcher said. “Companionship means doing things for others that they might not think they need.”

“Everyone’s been plotting behind my back.”

“You’re being paranoid,” Gourd said, waving a hoof.

“It’s not plotting, Nav,” Watcher said. “You just don’t recognize it because you’ve never been around it before. This is how a normal noble’s house operates. The vassals and staff all work together to make sure the noble is at their best at all times. We aren’t plotting against you, we’re working together to build you up. This is something that most ponies are either born into or they never see, Nav. We’re all doing our best to make it work. I know that it’s frustrating for you, but everything that we do, we do for you.”

“We’ve all been together on the ship for a while,” Gourd said. “We’ve had plenty of time to talk. But that’s all it is, Nav. We aren’t… you know, plotting or anything…”

“I’d be a lot happier without a few contracts in my name,” I said.

His ears shot straight down and he rubbed the back of his neck. “That wasn’t so much a plot as it was… well, a stroke of convenience.” His ears popped back up and his eyes met mine. “But it was just me! And you should be thanking me!”

“Give it some time,” Watcher said. “Everything will fall into place. We’ll settle into the house, we’ll start working together more in Canterlot, we’ll get to know each other even more, and we’ll finally get what we all want.”

“Way to make that sound ominous as shit,” I said, shivering slightly. “What I want is to sit up in my room all day, doing nothing.” With a few sides of really kinky sex, maybe.

…

Who am I kidding? Definitely lots of kinky sex.

Though I had a feeling that was going to happen whether or not I got my way in the end.

“If that’s really what you wanted, you wouldn’t have run into all of us,” Watcher said.

“Hey man, I didn’t ask to be created by the literal antithesis of life and creation. What I want and what I get are two very different things.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. If you let us do our jobs, we’ll all get what we all need. It may not be what you want, but I’m sure Discord would be happy to unmake you if you asked.”

“Maybe. He seems like an extremely unhelpful person.”

They both sighed. “You’ve been through a lot,” Watcher said. “Do you know how much of what happened was caused by him?”

“No fucking clue,” I said. “According to Athena, Discord cursed the middle east, where the lambs are. My entire time in Egypt could have been his doing. There’s no telling what else that bastard could have done.”

Watcher grabbed me with magic and pulled me in close enough to tap me on the forehead with a hoof. “There’s no telling what he could have done here, Nav.” He let me go and I stood back up. “You don’t know who or what you really are. You don’t have a soul and you were made by Discord. We are not your enemies. That... thing is. Let us help you fight it. But more than that, let us help you. When that thing is dead and gone, we want to celebrate with you at our side.”

“You’re our lady,” Gourd said, nodding. “Everything we do is for you. I would appreciate if you’d remember that.”

I’d appreciate you sucking my cock, but I don’t have one anymore. “I will do my best,” I said.

“Good,” Watcher said. “You keep acting out, and we’ll tell Twilight on you.”

“Ugh, you too?” I sighed. “It was enough that Taya—”

“It’s most of us,” Watcher cut in. “To save you some breath.”

“Not me!” Gourd said with a grin.

“He still has his hopes up,” Watcher said, swishing his tail.

The poor guy blushed bright red. “I… happen to think you and Fleur make a very good couple.”

“Several of my guards agree about that,” Watcher said. “I’ve heard more than a few of them whispering about how they wouldn’t mind seeing it. I don’t think they were talking about a relationship, though.”

“Well, hell, all you bastards are ugly as sin to me,” I said with a shrug. “I’ve been here, what, seven years? I still don’t know what any of you guys find attractive.”

“Curves are a big bonus,” Watcher said. “Fleur is most definitely a curvy mare. But Twilight’s got her fair share. Looks aside, I advise you steer well clear of Fleur, relationship-wise. You aren’t the only one with a bad rep. Hers is different. She’s working on it, but until she has it under control, you’re much, much better off with Celestia’s personal student, sister of Prince Shining Armor.”

“...How about Queen Moonbeam?”

“That… is an option,” Watcher diplomatically said. “Did she propose to you again?”

“Something like that. I made an agreement for her help, should something come to pass. I hope I never need it.”

“...I’m not moving to a changeling hive,” Watcher said.

“I’m certainly not looking forward to it,” I said. “But it would be better than the alternative, should it come to that.”

He knew better than to ask. “If you say so.”

Before he could continue, one of them suddenly grabbed me with magic and yanked me toward them. I quickly found myself behind Gourd and Watcher and in front of a dazzled Cutie Dream, who was in a heap on the ground where I had been standing. The three of us stared at her for a moment before looking up. There was nothing that indicated where the hell she came from. Our eyes moved back down to her.

She managed to pick herself back up and was looking at me with the standard insane grin I’ve come to know so well. “Good morning! I see you moved in quickly!”

“Yep. Is there some part of paperwork that we missed or something?”

“Nope! Silvy’s great at her job. She sure was in a hurry to leave, though. She didn’t even stop to tell me when she wanted the next date!”

Gourd and Watcher looked at each other for a moment before looking back at her. “She’s inside,” I said, crossing my arms. “But I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“Oh, p-shaw!” she said, waving a hoof at me. “I won’t let you stand in the way of true love! Now, my pretty little pent-up filly needs her kisses!” She started trotting to the door, wagging her tail.

“Go with her,” I said. “And be ready to toss her out on her ass.”

“You got it,” Watcher said. Gourd sighed and the two of them began tailing her. I looked up at the house. Silver Quill was still in the sun room, along with Kat and Doppel. They hadn’t noticed Cutie yet. I was kinda looking forward to seeing how that went, but I would much prefer to hear it second-hand rather than see it in person.

That comforting and lazy thought in mind, I unfurled my wings and tried taking off. I couldn’t get enough lift, because my wings are fucking garbage and I was wearing too many layers. Instead, I walked over to the cliff and hurled myself off like a madwoman.

After about a hundred feet, I decided I made a mistake and flapped my wings. Instead of doing myself and the world a favor by breaking my neck on impact, I flew back up and circled around to carefully land in front of my bedroom. Kat left the doors unlocked for me, thankfully. I kicked the snow off and let myself inside like I owned the place.

It was a hell of a lot warmer in there. I sighed and began stripping out of layers. Some part of being a changeling made me really not like the cold. Once I was situated, I sat in my chair and thought.

My thinking was interrupted some time later by my door opening. A part of me wished I had been doing something naughty, just to make whoever opened it feel bad for not knocking. Then I saw that it was Taya and I decided sitting in my chair wasn’t too bad, all things told. Her aura was bright pink.

“When’s the last time I let myself in your room without knocking?” I asked.

“...Two days ago?” Oh yeah.

“Alright, fair enough.” She walked in and closed the door behind her, then continued walking toward me. “Do you know the spell to turn someone into a changeling?”

“Um. No. Should I?”

“See if you can learn it. Until then, do you know the spell to turn someone into a human?”

“Of course!”

“Good. Cast it on me.” She blinked. “I’m a changeling.” She blinked again. “Long story. Just do it.”

Thankfully, she did it. Her aura disappeared and I suddenly saw a glow around her horn. It died down and she nodded. “That should do it.”

I closed my eyes and tried turning into a tentacle monster. To tickle her, of course. When I opened my eyes, I was still a fucked up looking human. “That did it.”

“So why were you a changeling?” she asked.

“To pretend to be Celestia. Discord turned her into a filly and took her horn. I had to pretend to be her until she got fixed.”

“That wasn’t a very long story.”

“So, you ready to start exercising?”

“I’d like to hear more of the story!”

“Let’s get you exercising!” She groaned and hung her head.

Since I’m a good mother, I didn’t make her run alone. Instead, I forced a few of the lollygagging guards to keep pace with her. I sat on the edge of the rainbow fountain and watched. It was a lot more fun than running, that’s for damn sure.

While they were doing that, I peered back inside the sun room. Silver Quill was still there, but it looked like she was working now. A few of the crew were also hanging around. I could see Watcher and Gourd on the second floor with Doppel, Kat, and some of the guards. Doppel saw me looking and waved. I lifted my hand up to my face, shoved my tongue between my fingers, and made lewd gestures with it. She smiled and went back to paying attention to the others.

“This house has so much dead space,” I idly mused, reaching down to play with the rainbow liquid. It was comfortably warm and surprisingly thick, though it slid off my fingers with no problem.

“Fill it,” an uncomfortably familiar male voice said. I groaned and dropped my hand. I looked around, but didn’t see the bastard anywhere. “In here.”

Every part of me was telling me not to look. For once, I actually listened. I got up and tried walking away. Before I could even lift a foot, something grabbed me by the throat and forced me back in front of the fountain. It dragged me closer, pushed me to my knees, and made me look into the fountain.

Instead of my own reflection, I saw Discord’s face staring up at me, with his own talons around his neck. “You’ve got quite a lovely home.”

I spit in the fountain.

“That wasn’t very nice.”

“I’m not a very nice person.”

“So I’ve seen. You do have your moments.”

“Are you actually here for a reason this time, or did you just want to say hi again?”

“I always have a reason for visiting. Would you like to know a secret?”

“Are you going to tell me even if I say no?”

“No.”

“Then sure.”

“One of your guards has a crush on you.”

I stared at him for a few seconds. He stared back. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Soooo… You come here often?”

“No, actually. I don’t like doing reflections. It’s too easy to get lost. They do make quite a statement, though.”

“Hey, while I have you here, I was wondering if you could turn me into a guy again.”

“I could.”

“Well… will you?”

He blinked. “Well, I would have, if you had asked nicely. But your tone was very insincere. Honestly, I don’t feel that welcome here.”

“Pretty please with sugar on top?”

“Hm… No, no, I don’t feel like it anymore. You ruined the mood.”

“You’re kind of a dick.”

“I get that a lot.” He suddenly looked to his side and then rolled his eyes. “Welp, gotta go! Hope you don’t mind the goodbye kiss.” His talon went from his throat to the back of his head and he forced my face into the fountain, cackling like a hyena. My hands went to the side to try to push myself back, but he was holding me down. My legs and wings both started flailing as I tried to break free and pull back for some air, but his grip was too strong.

Something grabbed one of my shoulders and pulled, but I still didn’t budge. Something else grabbed the other shoulder and also pulled. Finally, something grabbed my entire body and yanked me out. I flew back and fell into the snow, sucking in air.

“What were you doing?!” Taya yelled, getting all up in my face.

One of the guards grabbed her and pulled her back. “Give her some space. Let her get some air.”

“D-discord!” I panted. “Fountain!”

The guard who wasn’t holding Taya back looked in, though I don’t know why he bothered. “You sure about that, ma’am?”

“Yes!”

The one holding my daughter let her go and she got right back in my face. “What did he do to you?”

“I think we just saw what he did,” one of the guards said. “When I tried pulling you back, I couldn’t. He tried drowning you.”

“What a jerk,” the other guard said as Taya slammed me back onto the ground with a hug. I hugged her back, but a part of me was wondering how long she was going to make it, because the ground was really fucking cold.

“Get Watcher,” I said. “Tell him to round everybody in the house up. Get them all downstairs in the sun room.”

“You got it, my lady,” one of them said. He trotted off.

The other one pawed at the ground. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere, my lady.”

Not sure what good you’ll do, but at least you’re here. I finally sat up and forced Taya back so I could stand. Her horn lit up and she forced all the snow off me, then dried me off. There were rainbow splatters all over the place. My eyes traced them back to the fountain and I noticed a rainbow chain leading up to where I had fallen. I pushed Taya back and took a closer look, thinking it was just a trick of the eyes.

Sure enough, the rainbow liquid was poured very purposefully to look like a chain.

“What are you looking at?” Taya asked.

I blinked and it was gone. All the rainbow fluid was dotted about randomly. His laughter rang in my ears again. “Nothing,” I replied, kicking snow over the splatters. After a second, I sighed and said, “That was a lie. He made the rainbow bullshit look like a chain leading up to where I fell, then made it disappear when you asked. Then he laughed at me. The dude is legit in my head, in a bad way.”

She pressed against my side. “That sounds like him. Don’t let him get to you, mommy. That’s just what he wants.”

“I know. Let’s go.” The three of us walked back into the sun room. Silver jumped when she heard the door open and looked about ready to bolt, but relaxed when she saw it was just us. I walked over to her table and sat down. She set the pen she was writing with down. “So I heard Cutie Dream popped by this morning.”

“...Nav, you spoke to her,” Silver replied.

“That’s how I heard it. How’d it go?”

“It… went. Watcher had to drag her, kicking and screaming, out the door. Then he had to do it again when she flew back around to the other side and let herself in. Then a third time when she flew up to the second floor and let herself in again. Thankfully, Kat was still there when she teleported in the fourth time. After that, Kat had a word with her and then had two of the guards throw her out again. Last I heard, she was promising to come back every day, as often as she could, until she saves me from the fiendish human who’s keeping me here against my will, forced to do her paperwork for eternity.”

That’s just what my reputation needs. “Do we need to kill her?” She squeaked and her eyes went wide. “I mean, that’s an option. If she breaks in again, we can murder her and make it look like self-defense. Or if you’d prefer, Kat can kill her in any number of inventive ways. I’m sure she’d be happy to make it as slow and painful as you’d like.”

She started trembling and Taya gently slapped me with a hoof. “Quit it, mommy.”

“Yes, dear,” I said, rolling my eyes. Silver relaxed with a sigh. “For real, though. You say the word, she’s dead.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” she said. “I’m sure she’ll lose interest eventually.”

“Until she does, be careful,” I said. “If she can teleport in, she might can teleport out. With you. All she’d have to do is be in physical contact with you and she could take you with her.”

“I… did not know that,” she slowly said.

“Taya, teleport her across the room.” Taya’s horn lit up and Silver popped over to an empty seat a few tables away. “That tunes a unicorn in to you. It’ll let her teleport you from anywhere she’s close enough to, in case something ever happens.”

Silver breathed a sigh of relief and walked back over. “That’s good. So at least if she does get me, she won’t keep me for long.”

“Not easily,” I said. “It’s limited entirely by distance. As long as we were quick enough, she wouldn’t have a chance to move you further than we could get you back.”

“Well… I’m sure she won’t go that far…”

“She broke in four times already. After a single date. She was talking about true love when I saw her.”

She sighed and placed her head on the table.

I gently cleared my throat. She looked up. I pulled a small knife out and placed it on the table, then waggled my eyebrows at her. Her eyes rolled. I shrugged and put the knife away. She sat up and went back to writing. “I finished tallying up everything from the dragon’s hoard and gave the numbers to Watcher and Gourd. I’m working on a manifest for Gourd now.”

“Cool.” A few guards wandered in and found seats. “I’m about to make an announcement in here. If you’re in the middle of something, you might want to leave.”

“I’m not,” she said. “What’s the announcement about?”

“Just an update,” I said with a shrug. “Some of this and that. Nothing too big.”

“Then I’ll sit it out,” she said with a grin. “Assuming I’m welcome, of course.”

“By all means,” I said with a shrug. More people were starting to wander in, so I stood up. “I’m gonna go position myself dramatically.”

“You do that,” she said with a nod. Taya followed me up to the bar. I crossed my arms and leaned against it, facing the room and waiting. It looked like half of everybody was there.

“So what’s this really about?” Taya whispered.

“An announcement,” I said, tousling her hair. “Something of this and that. Nothing too big.”

“Ugh, mommy…” She actually let her hair stay tousled, surprisingly. For some reason, that bothered me.

It was her hair, though, so I didn’t let it bother me for long. Another group walked in. That group had all the important people in it, along with the remaining guards and crew. I noticed that the changeling crew was suspiciously absent.

Watcher walked up to me. Everyone else picked out seats and got comfortable. “This is everybody but Jak and Smiles,” he told me. It looked like all fifteen guards and the entire crew of the Second Chance was definitely present. Jak probably told him to fuck off and Smiles was likely already gone. “We’re ready whenever you are.”

I nodded at a table. He walked over to it and sat. “There was an attempt on my life a few minutes ago,” I said. Watcher shot right back up. I waved him down. “I’m fine. The thing that attempted it is out there. Waiting. Watching. Every single one of us, and every single piece of intelligent life on the planet, is in danger. It is called Discord. It’s a magical entity that feeds on conflict to grow in power. Celestia had it imprisoned for a while, but it broke free recently. To put in perspective what kind of threat this thing is, I know for a fact that it’s responsible for billions of deaths.” That caused some whispers. “Yes, you heard that right. Billions. This thing is as old as the humans. To put that in perspective, it was some untold number of eons ago. Every so many thousand years, this thing breaks free, kills millions or billions of intelligent life forms, and then goes dormant again. Ladies and gentlemen, we lucked out and get to meet this beast firsthand.”

“I don’t feel very lucky,” Taya murmured.

“Last I heard from Celestia is that she’s thinking about running. To anyone thinking of joining her, I advise you not to bother. As far as I can tell, he’s omniscient. We either find a way to stop him, get lucky and survive whatever he has planned, or die what I’m sure will be a very horrible death.” Or worse. “The goal of this journey is to find something that will stop him. The Elements of Harmony did it last time, but I’m not holding my breath this time.” Especially since he created them. “I was hoping the elementals would have a plan, but they’ve proven to be worse than useless. Athena gave me a few ideas, but I’m not sure they’ll pan out. Honestly, I’m not sure what it’s gonna take to put this bastard to rest.”

A few throats cleared in the audience. I didn’t blame them.

“We are in Canterlot right now to take some time off,” I continued. “I don’t know about you guys, but this journey has been hard on me. I need time to adjust to my shitty new body. I have a lot of plans while I’m here. Some of those plans will involve you guys, but for the most part, I won’t have any particular need for you. As I’m sure you no doubt know by now, you’re all due for a very large bonus, courtesy of a dragon friend of mine. I suggest you take some time and relax while we’re here, because our next destination is Tartarus.” That got a few more lips wagging. “We’re going to work with Luna to forcefully extract the demon fire queen.”

“What?!” Taya yelled.

“I said we’re going to work with Luna. Despite everything that happened, we are going to work with her.” That got her grumbling, but she let me continue. “With luck, we can take another break after Tartarus. I’m sure we’ll need it. Hopefully we’ll have more leads at that point, too. If anyone wants to cut and run, you’re free to. I wouldn’t blame you. Hell, I might do it if I thought I had the chance, but Discord has a fucking chain around me. But I’ll say now that if we fail, there won’t be enough money in the world to save you.”

“What kind of chain?” one of the redshirts asked.

Fuck it, yolo. “He created me,” I said. The room became uncomfortably quiet. “I don’t know how and I don’t know why. I assume if he made me, he can unmake me. I’m working on ways to cut myself off from him, but I have no idea how successful it’ll be. If things end up falling through, I will pass the torch on to Watcher and let him lead the expedition.” And possibly kill myself. “I don’t know what Discord has in mind, but I’m not going to have the entire crux of the resistance against him be somebody that he put in place. I won’t be able to put my plan in place until we’re in Tartarus, so I’m stuck in limbo until then.”

The silence in the room was deafening.

I didn’t let it last long. “I’m sure all of this has raised a number of concerns with all of you. If you have any questions, I am happy to field them. I am going to be completely open, honest, and as transparent as possible about everything. That said, there are a lot of questions I don’t have answers to either, so don’t get your hopes up too much.”

“What are you gonna do after Discord’s dead?” Gourd asked.

“Depends on what I have to do to make it happen,” I said. “Assuming everything goes well and it ends with me still being a lady, I’ll see what I can do about turning the Everfree into something worth owning. I’ll probably also find someone to settle down with. Everyone who still wants to work for me will be free to, though I have absolutely no idea why you’d want to.”

“Are you really competing in the beauty pageant?” one of the guards asked.

“I just talked about a demon that could end everything as you know it. Where the fuck are your priorities?”

“...I like celebrity gossip.”

“Fuck it, whatever. Yes, I am really competing in the stupid beauty pageant. I’m going to lose as quickly as I can on purpose.”

“Why lose on purpose?” another guard asked.

“Can we maybe get off the beauty pageant thing and get back to the world ending thing?”

“Just asking,” he muttered.

“Ugh, fine. I’m going to lose on purpose because I don’t want to do it and I just said I would to get Fleur off my back. And if any of you tell her I said that, I’ll make you regret it.”

“Do you have any proof?” another guard asked.

“About how powerful Discord is?” I hopefully asked.

“No, about making us regret it.” I sighed and placed my head in my hands. “Nah, just messing with you. I definitely meant the Discord thing.”

“It’s true,” Kat said. “I saw him myself. He paraded me around like a doll and there was nothing I could do to stop him.”

“And he just tried drowning me in the fountain,” I said. “Though I honestly doubt he was trying to kill me. He was probably just being an asshole. It’s less about what he did and more about how he did it, since he became my reflection in the water and dragged me around from wherever he really was. Point is, the danger is real. Some of you might recall the human bunker in Antarctica that I got trapped in. That is where some of the last remaining humans met their very untimely ends, possibly at his hands.”

“What’s the point of the elementals?” someone else asked.

“No fucking clue, at this point,” I said, shrugging. “I thought they would be helpful. As it is, they’ve been a whole big package of useless and I’m kinda regretting unleashing them upon the world.”

“That isn’t very nice,” Brook said. Half the ponies jumped out of their seats and I pushed myself off the bar as she slid into view. At the moment, her entire body was the standard blue. Apparently she had been hiding in the foyer and listening in.

“Neither is eavesdropping,” I coldly replied.

“I just dropped in for a visit, but nobody was answering the door. I thought I’d let myself in to see why. It’s hardly my fault if I overheard a few things.”

“It’s absolutely your fault for letting yourself in. What, very specifically, did you overhear?”

“The first thing I heard was you saying that there was an attempt on your life.” God dammit. “I thought about making myself known then, but I didn’t want to interrupt. That would be rude.”

“As rude as letting yourself into someone’s house?” I asked.

“Perhaps. I have some questions as well, if you’re still fielding them.”

“I’m fielding questions for people that were invited to this announcement. I’ll answer your questions when they are done.”

“I am, if nothing else, very patient.”

“If you were patient, you would have waited for someone to answer the door.” A few of the guards snickered. She didn’t reply. I looked back out the peanut gallery. “Anyone else got any questions?” Brook must have ruined the mood, because no one spoke up after a few seconds. “I’m almost always open for more, if anyone wants to approach me privately,” I said. “Y’all just heard a lot, so I’m sure you have a lot to think about. For now, you’re all dismissed.”

No one made any motion to move, so I decided to take the lead by walking out. Taya and Brook followed me. I began walking up the stairs. Taya teleported up, because she’s in bad shape. Brook continued sliding behind me.

When I got to the top, I found Taya waiting next to my door. I walked in and both of them followed me. “You’ve got quite a lovely home,” Brook warmly said.

“That’s literally, word for word, what Discord told me a few minutes ago,” I replied as I walked over to my chair. Taya followed and sat at my side. Brook settled on top of the chair across the desk from me.

“Hm. Yes, that is one of the things I wanted to ask about. So you’ve finally seen him?”

“Several times, now. He’s kind of a dick.”

“I’m sure he gets that a lot,” she replied with a grin.

“He does. About the most use I’ve gotten out of him is him telling me that he made me. Of course, that was more annoying than anything.”

“I see. Have you considered my offer, Navarone?”

“Yes. What do you know about the old google bunker in Colorado?”

“I know that is where Doctor Anonymous designed and built the new species and the genetic algorithms that led to life as we know it today. The water elementals were created in Europe, but weren’t truly released until well after all the bunkers went permanently offline, so I never went to that one. I used to have all the information from all the bunkers in my head, but it degraded over time and now all I have are fragments. It’s unfortunate, because I know that a lot happened then that would be very useful to know now, but I don’t remember any of it.”

“That bunker is still standing,” I said. “My crew and I are going there soon. We might need your help.”

“I seem to recall you saying that we were useless.”

“Did I?” I mused.

“Yes.”

“Oh. Well, we’re going to the bunker with or without you. All the same, I’d prefer going with you.”

“We would be pleased to assist, Navarone,” she said, bowing her head for a short moment. “Though there are not many of us nearby at the moment. Flo would like to know when you plan to visit her.”

“When I feel like it,” I said. Her eyes finally lost their blue hue and turned a few shades red. “And by that, I mean it’ll be some time after we get back from the bunker. Twilight’s going to do some magic on me before I do. I probably won’t wait very long after getting back.” Of course, that magic might put me in a coma for the rest of my life, but whatever.

“Ah, yes. Aqua mentioned that before we parted ways. Such a thing is very risky. Are you sure it’s worth it?”

“Yes,” I immediately replied.

“What are you talking about?” Taya asked.

“Twilight found a spell that’ll help me learn who I really am,” I said. “Despite any changes someone else might have made.”

“That doesn’t sound bad,” she slowly replied.

“Your mother left out a few details,” Brook said. “The spell will put her in a coma that she might never awaken from.”

“What?!”

“Without help,” I said. “I might never wake up if I don’t have help. There is another spell that will give somebody else the ability to help me should I falter, which means the coma won’t last forever. I was planning on asking you, Taya.”

“Of course I’ll help!”

“Then there’s no risk,” I said with a smirk. Taya beamed.

Brook didn’t seem very pleased, but that didn’t surprise me. “That is your decision to make, Navarone. You said you have considered my offer. Have you decided to reject it?”

“...No. I’ve seen the merits of having a water elemental, especially these last few days. There are definitely upsides. I’m still considering it. I just don’t feel comfortable making a decision until after Twilight does her thing.”

“I see. I would like to make another point, then. Should you continue running into Discord, having me in your mind might protect you from some of his tricks.”

“I will certainly add that to my considerations.”

“You walk a very dangerous road,” she said. “Both on the ship and in Canterlot. You have enemies. Our assistance is, as you said, very valuable.”

“Yep. As I said, I’m considering it. I just feel like I really need time to clear my head and do my own thing.”

“I understand. Taking an elemental into you is a very serious matter. You did not have time to truly consider things when Flo asked. We will, of course, be on your side no matter what you choose. I would personally feel more comfortable with you having our direct support. Some of the decisions you make are rash, at times, and I believe having a second opinion would help you. If you choose not to become a host again, we would still be very happy to assist you in any way that we can.”

If I decide not to take another elemental in me, it’ll be because I have proof that Flo fucked up my mind and I wouldn’t want your help anyway. “Good to know,” I said. “You got any other questions?”

“I have enough questions for you that we could probably be here for the rest of the day,” she said. “My sisters and I are very curious about you. Flo is tight-lipped and has not told us much.” At least there’s that. “However, I know you are busy and I do not wish to take up all of your time. Perhaps, if you are open to the idea, we can speak the next time we are on the ship and have little to do.”

“Maybe. I don’t much care for talking about myself, though.”

“Well, we shall see. Farewell for now, Navarone. Try to stay warm.”

“I’ll do my best. Don’t freeze in the pond.”

“It is certainly chilly, but thankfully not that bad.” With that, she slid out the balcony door.

“She didn’t say goodbye to me…” Taya muttered.

“Did you want her to?”

“No, it just seemed rude.”

“Eh. I am going to cleanse my body.”

“‘Kay. I guess I’ll go throw some magic over the cliff.”

“Try not to hit anyone on the bottom.”

“We’ll see.” She trotted over to the other door, presumably to pick up warmer clothes in her room. I walked to the bathroom and took a warm bath. Shit was so cash.

Once I was done and dry, I threw on the first clothes I found, then grabbed a heavy jacket and went back out. I looked over the edge and only saw a single guard at the bottom, so I grinned and hopped over the side.

As soon as I hit the bottom, I heard a feminine throat clear. I closed my eyes and sighed, then opened them as I slowly turned. It was Doppel, of course. I smiled. “What did I tell you yesterday?” she asked.

“Um… That you think I’m sexy?”

“You’re lucky I don’t make you march back up there and walk down properly!”

I knew there was no way she could actually make me do that, but I wasn’t about to tempt fate. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

She huffed, then looked me up and down. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah. The mages at the tower have been asking about me for some time. I figured it was about time to finally see what they want.”

“...And you’re going dressed like that?”

I looked down at myself. Everything seemed fine to me. I looked back up and said, “That was the plan, yeah.”

She sighed and facehooved. “Mistress, go on back to your room. I’ll be up there in just a second.”

“Um. Why am I going back to my room?”

“So you don’t embarrass all of us when you’re seen dressed like that!”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“They’ve waited this long. They won’t mind another twenty minutes.”

I rolled my eyes. “You have exactly twenty minutes, starting when I get in my room. If you aren’t done in that time, I’m leaving in whatever I’m in.”

“I only need fifteen,” she said with a nod. I snorted and began walking back up the stairs.

“Waste of fucking time,” I quietly muttered. She may have heard it, but she didn’t reply.

It only took her about two minutes after I got to my room to make it up herself. She surely saved some time by flying up the stairs instead of walking them. I don’t know why the servants got to do it the easy way while the nobles had to fucking walk. That didn’t seem fair to me.

Sure enough, it took her right around fifteen minutes to get me dressed in something she deemed appropriate. Unfortunately, it was a fairly long dress, one that my tail didn’t make rise up. I knew making a good impression with the mages was wise, so I didn’t fight her too much. She also managed to get on a very minimal amount of makeup.

Once she was done, she stepped back and looked me over. She was apparently satisfied with her work, because she grinned and nodded once. “Much better! Now you’re just missing one thing.”

“You sure?” I asked. “I mean, I got a few throwing knives tucked away here and there.” Not that this stupid dress has any pockets.

“Yes, I’m absolutely sure. You’re missing the most important thing, actually. You aren’t going anywhere, especially not there, without your daughter. She told me that you said she was going to be protecting you from magic. If she finds out you went to the mage’s tower without her, she might be upset.”

“What would I do without you, Doppel?”

She sighed dramatically. “I ask myself that every day, mistress. She’s still out back.”

“Then Imma go boop her, then finally go to the mage’s tower.”

“And I shall return to work. I’ll see you when you get back, mistress!” I reached over and booped her first, then walked to the door leading outside. It was still unlocked. I let myself out, jumped off the railing, slipped and almost hit the ground, barely managed to catch myself, then glided over to where Taya was shooting at targets one of the crew members was throwing over the cliff. I landed a few meters away to avoid the wind coming up off the cliff and walked over to them right as Taya destroyed another target.

“You’re pretty good at this,” I said.

“It is my special talent, mommy,” she replied with a grin.

I didn’t quite agree with that, but we had been down that road before. “You want to go with me to the mage’s tower?” I asked.

“Yep! When?”

“Now.”

“Oh. Um. Are you wearing that?”

God dammit, I hate being a woman so fucking much. “Yes.”

“Good. I like it.”

I guess it has a few upsides. “You ready?”

“Are we flying?”

“I mean, if you want. I’d also be fine with walking.”

“Why would we ever walk if we could fly, mommy?” I shrugged. She grinned and made a pair of cute little butterfly wings appear on her back.

“I’ve never seen that spell before,” the crew guy said.

“It’s really rare and really hard,” Taya said, looking over her shoulder at them. “And so worth it!” The wings started flapping and she shot up about a meter. “Coming, mommy?”

“Just a sec.” I looked over at the crew guy. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the mage’s tower. I don’t know how long it’ll take.”

“I’ll let the others know,” he said with a nod.

I reached over and poked him on the nose. He looked somewhat offended. “Thanks.” He didn’t reply as I jumped off the cliff and quickly soared off. Taya joined me and together, we flew to the tall tower. Thankfully, she could project her warm aura around us even while we were flying, so I didn’t freeze my lady bits off.

“So what’s even at the mage’s tower?” Taya asked.

“Mages,” I replied. She rolled her eyes. “It’s a place where unicorns who want to dedicate their lives to magic go. There are departments for everything under the sun. The place is built into a pocket dimension, so it’s huge. There’s also a giant floating rock chained to it that they use for special experiments. They’re the ones who sent me back in time.”

“Oh. Oh! If they could send you back to when the humans were around, couldn’t they send you back to when the gender stones still worked?”

“I tried. Turns out that they just got lucky the first time and they couldn’t help me.”

“...That’s stupid.”

“Tell me about it.” She shut her cute trap and we continued to the tower.

When we got there, we landed in front of the gates. The two guards smiled when they saw me. “We’ve been expecting you, Lady Navarone,” one of them said. His horn lit up and a coin appeared. “Hand this to the secretary when you get inside. The Seven should be assembling soon.”

“Do you have any clue what they want?” I asked.

“I’m afraid they don’t tell us much,” he replied, floating the coin over. I grabbed it and he let it go. “I also don’t know how long it will take, so we’ll give you a powerful resistance spell now and remove it when you leave.”

“Alrighty.” Their horns lit up and a blast of light hit me and Taya. Her wings disappeared with a poof and I felt mine grow heavier.

“That should do it,” he said as the light died down. “You’re free to enter.”

“See you in a few,” I said, walking past them.

“I’ve never seen magic like that,” Taya whispered as we walked.

“You’ll see a lot of things here that you won’t see anywhere else,” I replied. “The first time I came, I walked past students magically dueling each other. There were also students on standby to heal them. There were some students doing magical obstacle courses, as well. I guess it’s too cold out for many students, now.” A few classes were going on outside, but nothing too interesting. The only thing of note is that there wasn’t any snow lying on the ground. It was all still charred black with craters every few meters.

“...How many students were dueling?” she slowly asked.

“I don’t remember. They were doing it in pairs, though. They definitely looked like they were having fun. I bet it’s a great way to learn magic, too.”

“Yeah… I bet…”

Taya opened the doors for us with magic and we walked on in. There were a lot more people than usual in the entryway. It was mostly students and a few teachers. Several of them seemed startled to see me, but none of them bothered me. My daughter and I continued to the secretary, who was being pestered by a stallion. I guess he thought he was flirting with her, but she was very obviously not interested.

She, at least, seemed relieved to see me. Probably because it meant the stallion had to leave her alone while she spoke to me. “Welcome back to the tower, Lady Navarone,” she said with a large smile. “Are you here to see the Seven?”

“If they’re available,” I said. She eyed the token in my hand, so I passed it to her. “The guards at the gate told me to give you this.”

She tapped it against the desk a few times before nodding. “Come along, my lady.” She led me and my daughter over to the teleporter. “I’m afraid this token only works for one. Your filly will have to wait here.”

Well shit, that defeats the purpose of bringing her. “Are you gonna be okay down here?” I asked.

Taya looked over her shoulder at the large number of mages, then looked back at me with an inkling of a smile. “I think I’ll be just fine, mommy!”

I kneeled down to hug her, because it seemed like the right thing to do. She hugged back, because she’s a little cuddle slut. When I was satisfied, I let her go and pulled back. “I’ll see you soon, then,” I said.

“Bye, mommy!” I stepped onto the teleporter pad. The secretary dropped the coin into a small slot and pulled the teleport lever. I tasted something funny in my mouth for a moment before reality straight up warped and I found myself standing on top of a pure black ocean. That only lasted a minute before I appeared in the middle of a dark, circular room. Two old ponies sat in chairs on opposite sides of the room.

“Ah, Lady Navarone,” one of them warmly said. “We were wondering if you had gotten our message.”

“Not until just recently,” I said. “I haven’t returned to my home in the Everfree in quite some time. Watcher told me, but I was so busy I didn’t have time. Princess Celestia told me herself, so I decided it couldn’t wait anymore. How can I help you?”

Another one slowly faded in. She was a very old and wizened mare and took a seat with a sigh. “Ah, so you finally came. Welcome, old one. I would like to offer my apologies for taking up some of your time. With luck, what we discuss will be worth it.”

Here’s hoping. “What are we gonna discuss?” I asked again.

The one who hadn’t spoken yet said, “The other four are in a meeting, likely talking about this very thing. Protocol says to wait, but your time is valuable and there’s no need to waste it. Twilight Sparkle recently donated several unique magical artifacts of varying makes. She noted that she obtained them with your assistance. You later came here and told some of our mages that you had a book that contained an ancient mage in it. We would like to officially determine the truth of this matter, then discuss… how we move forward.”

I suddenly felt very vulnerable. I was in a weird pocket dimension surrounded by very powerful mages with no way to defend myself. “...What exactly do you mean by that?” I slowly asked.

“As I’m sure you understand, that book, if it exists, is of great interest to us. Not only for the massive treasure trove of artifacts, but for the chance to meet a mage who built such a place! If we ascertain that you are telling the truth, we would like to enter into an agreement with you. We know that you intend great things. With our help, you could do so much more.”

“That’s a very enticing offer. But I don’t think you know what kind of can of worms you might be opening. I’m sure you’re all very accomplished wizards, but you are nothing to that woman. You are mere children. If you don’t step carefully with her, you could end up worse than dead. Her labyrinth is a dungeon, complete with tons of magically resistant monsters. One wrong step and you’ll be dead, with your soul stuck there to haunt it as a new guardian. And if you aren’t careful in their traps, you’ll end up stuck in a book for eternity. The mage herself is all manner of unpleasant. She’s completely insane, with no boundaries at all.”

The three of them shared a long look before he asked, “What is this mage’s name?”

“Athena.” One of them cleared his throat. I heard the mare ease back in her seat. The one who spoke had a hint of a grin on his face. “I have a feeling you recognize that name.”

“I’m afraid that conversation will have to wait for the others to get here,” the mare said.

“...What about the name Discord?” They all three frowned and clammed up. “I take it that you recognize that one, too. Did you happen to know that he was free?”

“...You just became very interesting, Lady Navarone,” one of the stallions said, leaning in.

“You have no idea,” I said with a grin. “Discord quite likes me. He’s tried to kill me once or twice already.”

“That is a very bold claim,” the mare said.

“But given what you are, I would believe it,” one of the other stallions quietly replied. His horn lit up and I heard a gentle bong. A few seconds later, the other four teleported in.

“Our apologies for the delay, Lady Navarone,” the oldest one said. He was wearing a red robe and hat. “We hope you were not kept waiting long.”

“Not too long,” I said. “I understand you’ve been trying to get in touch with me for some time.”

“Only a few weeks,” the red one replied. “You came to our attention recently when you helped the Princess save our tower from the demons. We had read reports of you before that, but seeing you in action piqued our interests. We did more research about your visits to the tower and discovered claims that you made to the enchanted items department. We would like to discuss these claims.”

“Yes, I have a book with a pocket dimension in it that leads to a very old human mage.”

The latecomers gave looks to those who were on time. The ones who were on time just shrugged. “We discussed it with her,” the mare said. “And we all believe that she’s telling the truth. She knows the names Athena and Discord, and she claims to be hunted by Discord.”

“The mages in the enchanted items department did mention a demon of chaos, and they told us that a message appeared on a non-magical chalkboard,” another said.

“Tell us what you know of this Athena,” the guy in red said.

“She’s an old human woman that’s been magically modified to look more like a bird. In my time, Athena was known as a goddess of wisdom. I think she was the same Athena, so she greatly influenced events in my time. Since then, she’s been doing her best to fight Discord every way she can. Her book was given to me from an old mare in a magical antique shop hidden in a pocket dimension. I fought my way through it with Twilight’s help and almost died to a number of horrific, powerful enemies. We picked up books that were relevant to our interests as we went, discovering all kinds of things in the process.”

“Describe her realm.”

“It was a massive library full of roaming constructs covered in runes, very lethal monsters, hidden traps, and the entire thing was a maze. Every room we went into had four doors. The walls were lined with books and there were piles of them all over the place. There were also all kinds of relics, things left behind by dead travelers. Every time you went through a doorway, you appeared inside of a book. You had to act out characters in the book. The further off course you deviated, the more hostile the occupants got. Once enough time passed, you could leave and would enter a new room with new enemies. When we got to the end, we met Athena herself. She congratulated us and invited us to come back whenever we wanted. Since we’ve completed the maze, we can go back to her directly, with guests. So if you wanted to meet her, I could ask if she’d be interested. If so, I could introduce you.”

“Give us one moment, Lady Navarone,” the oldest one said. I nodded. His horn lit up, then immediately dimmed. “There we are.” He fell silent.

“So… do you need me to leave?”

“We just paused time around you and discussed something. We have decided that we believe you.”

“Cool. Do you want to meet her?”

“Yes. But we would also like to discuss a few other things with you. First, would you tell us everything you know of Discord?”

“Sure, why not.” I proceeded to do just that, though I left out that he created me.

He nodded when I was finished. “So it seems that he is active again. This is… problematic.”

“Yeah, it sucks hella hard,” I said.

“Were there other gods in your time?” the important one asked. “Other beings of myth and legend?”

“...How did you know the name Athena?” I asked.

“You’re very perceptive,” one of the originals sighed.

“It pays to be, in my profession,” I said. “You have records of her?”

“It’s more than that,” the red shirt said. “We have two more books like hers.” I eased back on my heels. “One is empty. We scouted it and pulled out all the artifacts ages ago. The being within was more of a warrior than a mage, however. We found references to Athena from there. We also found the location of another book, though we had no clue what was in it. We’ve sent several parties into it, but none have ever returned. The book hasn’t been touched since I was just a little colt.”

“Going into one of those things is a tall order,” I slowly said. “The person within could do anything they wanted. The entire place could be completely impassable instead of very dangerous. You could be trapped and starve to death, or be instantly killed by magic, or any number of horrific things. Entering Athena’s book was an accident and we weren’t at all prepared. We just barely got out, and I don’t know if I want to go back into another one.”

“...One other fact that we discovered in the empty book is that these beings can speak to each other if the books are in close proximity. If we have Athena’s book, she could speak to the other mage and learn about him. Think of what we could do if we had access to both!”

“I’ll discuss it with Athena,” I said. “That’ll be her choice to make. If she isn’t interested, you’ll have to accept that.”

“We never expected to force you, of course,” he replied. “When can you have an answer to us?”

“Probably today. Twilight Sparkle has the book, but she won’t mind me using it.”

“...Twilight Sparkle,” he slowly said. “If possible, bring her with you when you return. Your experience is valuable, but you do not… speak our magical language, so to say. She would be better able to tell us what we need to know about Athena’s realm.”

“I’ll ask and see if she’s available,” I said. “Perhaps you guys could do me a few favors as well. I need some help with a few magical things.”

“As I said, if you help us with this matter, we will do what we can to assist you,” he said.

“Then if there’s nothing else, I’ll go ask right now.”

They all pressed their hooves against the desk separating us. I appeared over the ocean again for a moment before my feet hit the teleporter pad. When I turned to face the other way, I saw that a good number of the mages were staring at me now. I guess it isn’t every day that someone gets to speak to the Seven.

Those who weren’t staring at me were talking to my daughter. When I saw that, I was expecting her to make a beeline for me as soon as I reappeared. As I walked closer, I realized she was actually talking back, and seemed to be fairly excited. Even better, a few of the mages she was talking to were around her age, and included a few colts.

She was facing away from me, so she didn’t see me walk up. The oldest mage there did happen to be facing me, and smiled when I got close. “Greetings, Lady Navarone.” Taya looked my way with a grin. “Your filly has quite a lot of knowledge for somepony her age.”

“She’s been learning from a lot of really experienced mages,” I said. “Twilight Sparkle, a few ex-guards, and some ex-battlemages.”

“So she’s told us,” he replied. “You know, she could learn quite a lot here, if she’s interested.”

“Until just recently, our schedule didn’t really allow for it,” I said, crossing my arms. “But we’re going to be in Canterlot for a few months. If she’s interested, would that be enough time to get her enrolled? And would she be able to come back if she had to leave when we continue on our journey?” Taya’s grin actually grew.

“Oh, of course,” he said. “We began a new round of classes with the new year, so if she got started today or tomorrow, she would barely even be behind. There is a high enough teacher to student ratio that we can typically tailor each student’s lessons to their skill level, and pair them off with students with similar abilities. If she needed to leave later, she could pick the classes back up, though she would likely be behind. Our students are typically older, and have erratic schedules, so such a thing isn’t uncommon here.”

“And she could pick what she studied?” I asked.

“She could pick what she spent most of her time studying,” he replied. “However, one of the core tenets of this university is that every unicorn who attends should be capable of the most basic magic in all seven schools. She’ll be given an aptitude test when she enters. If she passes all seven portions, she will be able to skip the beginner courses and move straight to whatever she desires to learn. If she fails any of the portions, she will be placed in a beginner course in whatever she failed. She’ll still be allowed to study what she desires, but her time will be split until she is able to pass the aptitude test.”

“That seems fair,” I said. “How much does this cost?”

“The aptitude test and the beginner courses are free. We do that to encourage unicorns from all walks of life to better themselves. Classes after that have a fee depending on the difficulty of the course, the availability of professors, resources the student uses, and a few other minor odds and ends. I would need to see your daughter’s abilities myself before I could tell you exactly how much the classes would cost, but I would roughly estimate that she could spend a year here for twenty-five bits.”

Holy shit, that’s basically nothing. “I’m sure she mentioned this, but she’d want to learn mostly combat magic. I assume you have safeguards in place to make sure no one is hurt?”

“You assume correctly, my lady,” he said with a nod. “I have seen students hurt, but only when they refuse to listen to instructions or get impatient. As long as she follows our rules, she’ll be perfectly safe.”

“And she’ll be allowed to work at her own pace?”

“Some students learn faster than others,” he replied. “That is a fact of life. In all things, we will encourage caution, safety, and thoroughness. We don’t want our students to move ahead until we are positive that they truly understand a lesson and are able to safely cast the spells required to move forward. She’ll be given a test each time she wishes to advance. When she is able to pass the test, she will be able to advance.”

“How are the internal politics here?”

He lifted his eyebrows. “That’s not a question I hear from many prospective students.”

“That’s not something many people think about until it bites them in the ass.”

“Hm. In short, the internal politics typically only affect the staff, the researchers, and the professors. Every class has a few problems, but it’s very rarely anything serious. Many of our students are very mature and come here to learn. Our professors strive to keep professional integrity around the students, so problems with other professors typically won't affect the students at all.”

I finally looked down at Taya. “You interested?”

“Just think of what all I could learn, mommy!”

“You’ll be here a lot,” I said. “You won’t have nearly as much time to spend with me.” That seemed to take some of the wind out of her sails and her smile dipped. “Tell you what. I need to go talk to Twilight, but then I’ll be coming right back. Stay here and talk some more. If you decide you want to become a student, we’ll make it happen. If you decide you’d prefer to keep learning from the others, that’s perfectly fine too.”

Her ears twitched. “How… how long are you gonna be gone?”

“Long enough to find Twilight, ask her a question, and then get back. If you get tired of waiting, you’re free to head back to the house, but it shouldn’t be that long.”

She seemed a little nervous, but she finally nodded. “Okay, mommy. I’ll wait here.”

“Cool. I’ll be back in a few minutes, then.”

She hopped up and hugged me. “I love you,” she whispered.

“Love you, too,” I whispered back. She let me go and I walked on out, leaving her with the group of mages. I probably should have asked if they would mind, but being impolite is all the rage these days.

The guards at the gate removed the resistance spell. I tried taking off, but couldn’t generate enough lift. Thankfully, the guards were happy to throw me a few meters in the air so I could catch myself and fly off.

As I flew, I thought about how I could go about fixing my fucked up wings. That was twice that I failed to take off from the ground. Flo and Blaze kept talking about cutting off the wings to see if they’d grow back, but I never had time. I was thinking it might be necessary to make time. If I got into any situations in Tartarus where I needed to fly but couldn’t, I might get killed.

If I was going to be in a coma for some time anyway, it might be a good idea to have my wings chopped off before then, to give them time to regrow. They might grow back as something retarded, like leaves or whatever, but it would be better than having mismatched ones.

I landed in front of the palace and got let in with no issues. Nobody bothered me as I made my way to Twilight’s room. Thankfully, the door opened as soon as I hit it with my shoe. Unfortunately, Twilight was not alone. Applejack was in there with her. They both seemed surprised to see me.

Applejack reacted first and walked over to me. “I don’t reckon you’d know anything about this, would you?” she testily asked, holding up a letter.

“Looks like a piece of paper,” I said. “Which is usually made of trees. And it has writing on it, probably some kind of ink.”

“I meant what’s on it, smart alek!”

“Oh.” I grabbed it and read it. “Yeah, I know everything about this.” I held the paper up for her to take.

She snatched it out of my hands and turned her eyes to me. “Well?!”

“I don’t know what you want from me. The letter says it all.”

“I JUST GOT FOUR THOUSAND BITS!”

“No need to yell,” I said, clearing out one of my ears with a pinky.

“I think there’s definitely a need to yell!” Thankfully, she didn’t yell that at me.

“In joy or anger?” Twilight asked. “Because that’s a lot of bits. I don’t know why you’d be angry.”

“See, she has the right idea,” I said. “You’re making this into a bigger deal than it is.”

“IT’S A HUGE DEAL!”

“Oh. Should I be yelling too?”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

“MANY HAVE WONDERED,” I yelled, reaching out to tousle her hair. Then I realized she was wearing a hat and pulled my hand back. “If you don’t want the money, you can just give it back. I’ll redistribute your share to the others.”

She blinked. “You’re darn right I don’t—Wait, my share?”

“Yeah. Everyone on the ship got the same amount.”

“I didn’t,” Twilight said.

“You haven’t yet,” I said. “The letters might not have gotten to all of you yet. Silver just finished counting it recently and it probably just got to the bank a few hours ago. Hell, I can’t believe Applejack already got a letter about it. But yeah, you’re all getting the same amount. So is everyone in the crew and all the guards.”

Applejack leaned back. “I… didn’t realize that.”

I reached over and booped her. “You’re such a silly pony, Applejack.”

“I reckon that might be so,” she said. “So uh… Why are we gettin’ this money?”

“That is courtesy of our old friend Reginald,” I said. “He fucked me over as hard as he could and almost got me raped to death while I was in Iceland, so he decided to give me his hoard by way of apology. I took what I needed to buy a new house and gave the rest to everyone on the ship to use for relaxation money before we head to Tartarus. I got more than enough and figured you guys could use some.”

“That’s… almightily generous of you, Nav,” she slowly said.

“She’s always been like that with money,” Twilight replied.

“I suppose so,” Applejack whispered.

“Sorry about the lack of details,” I said with a shrug. “I honestly thought Watcher would hand it out personally, not just give it to the bank. I also thought Rarity would have told everyone in Ponyville, since I told her a few days ago. When you head back to town, let the others know.”

“I’ve been outta town,” Applejack said. “So she never got the chance. Are you really sure you wanna give me this money?”

“Yeah.”

She waited for more, but none came. Twilight finally smiled. “Looks like Granny Smith’s getting that hip replacement after all.”

“Buck that!” Applejack immediately replied. “She’s getting an everything replacement! And the farm’s gonna get rebuilt and the barns’re all gettin’ fixed up and the tools are getting replaced and Applebloom’s gonna go to a fancy school and… And...” She hung her head and sniffled. “I ain’t never had so much money in my life…”

“Be careful with it,” I said. “You’d be surprised—” I was interrupted by the heavy mare quickly wrapping herself around me. Applejack actually started crying over my shoulder. Oh boy. Since I’m not as much of an asshole as I used to be, I hugged her back. She was warm, but not that squishy. Twilight was giggling at my predicament, though she was trying to stifle it.

Thankfully, it didn’t take Applejack too long to get over her little episode. She pulled back from me with a smile and a runny nose, which probably meant that she ruined my nice dress with her snot and tears. That was more of a concern for Rarity, so I didn’t worry about it too much. “Thank you, Nav.”

“No worries, brah,” I said. “Why were you so angry when I got here?”

“Well, I thought you were givin’ me the money… for another reason. I ain’t one to be acceptin’ no pity and I sure as sure ain’t gonna be takin’ no dirty money.”

“Understandable. Want a belly rub to help calm you down?”

“...I ain’t gonna say no, but—”

“Good. Twilight, can you magic us up a couch?”

“Only if you give me a belly rub, too.”

“Deal, but it’ll have to be later. I’m on the clock.”

“No deal,” Applejack immediately said. “I ain’t gonna take up none of your time, not if you’re in a hurry.”

“‘Kay. I’ll be sure to stop by the farm later for it, then. I might also rub Applebloom’s, if she’s there.”

“Sounds good to me,” the dirty mud pony replied. “I’ll go on and get outta your mane, then.” Before Twilight or I could reply, she trotted past me and down the hall, head held high.

“Such a silly pony,” I said, shaking my head.

“You’re pretty silly yourself, Navi,” Twilight said. She used magic to float me over and kissed me on the nose. “That was really nice of you, too.”

“Calling her silly?”

“Don’t make me ravish you.”

“Well, I didn’t need the money. Like I told her, everyone on the ship is getting a share. I figured it was only fair. After all, we’re risking our lives to save everyone. We might as well get something out of it. And if we all die horrible deaths, we might as well be able to enjoy what little time we have left. Can you put me down now?”

She set me back on my feet. “It makes sense, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less nice for it. You definitely should have distributed my share out to everybody else, too. I don’t need the money either.”

“You’re free to do that if you want. I ain’t gonna stop you. Anyway, I came here to speak to Athena. Do you still have her book?”

“I do. Hold on one moment.” She trotted back to her room. I was tempted to follow her and maybe do some dirty things with her, but I didn’t want to keep Taya waiting for too long. Twilight came back out with the book a moment later. “What do you need from her?”

“The mages at the tower want to meet her. Apparently they have two more books like it, one of which they’ve never been able to successfully penetrate. They were hoping she’d be able to get inside it.”

She sighed. “Oh boy… I didn’t know you were going to tell those old sticks-in-the-mud about her.”

“Is that a problem?”

“I suppose they’re harmless enough, but they’re all very… traditional. They don’t like doing anything differently. They also really don’t like being humbled. Their first meeting with Athena might be interesting. I suppose it might be worth it to gain access to their other books, however.”

“Would you be willing to meet with them?” I asked. “They wanted you there because you could speak magic with them.”

“I can do that. It might be the only way to learn more about their other books, too. We aren’t actually giving them Athena’s book, are we?”

“Tch, hell no. I might lend it to them for a little while, but it’ll most definitely stay mine.”

“Good. Then shall we go talk to her?” She set the book on a nearby desk and we both walked over to it.

“Ready when you are, Twiley.”

She opened it with a hoof and the two of us got sucked inside. We were greeted by Jak’s large metal golem. For some reason, it was wearing a tophat. When it saw us, it rumbled.

Athena appeared on its shoulder a moment later. “Welcome back,” she said.

“Hello, Athena,” Twilight respectfully said. “Is that Jak’s construction?”

“It is,” she replied, patting one of its horns. “That minotaur is a very dutiful student.”

“There’s a guild of mages in the real world who want to meet you,” I said. “They have two more pocket dimension books. One is empty. They can’t get into the center of the other one and they have no idea who or what is in it.”

“I have no particular interest in meeting a guild of mages, but I would be most interested in meeting the occupant of another pocket dimension.”

“Would you at least be willing to speak to them?” I asked.

“Yes. But I will not tell them one single thing about magic until they prove themselves in my labyrinth.”

“Fair enough. We’ll be back with guests soon, then.”

“Only three may enter at a time,” she replied.

“Why?” Twilight asked.

“When I encounter external mage groups, I limit my book for protection. From now on, the one who opens the book and the two closest to him or her will be pulled in. If any try to open it while three are inside, they will find themselves unable.”

“What if I’m in it and someone who hasn’t passed the test opens it?” I asked.

“Then they will be tested and you will be unable to leave until they either succeed or fail.”

“Good to know. Shall we, Twilight?”

“Yep.” She opened the book and we ended up right back in the real world. “Well, that was easy enough.”

“I kinda wonder why she doesn’t want to meet any mages.”

“She’s probably met thousands over the years. Most likely wanted to use her. I’d imagine that she’s tired of the attention.”

“Well, whatever. You ready to go talk to some old people?”

“Hm.” She turned to look me up and down. “That’s a really nice dress, Nav. But it would look better on my floor…”

“Probably, yeah. As tempting as it is, I’m gonna have to decline. I left Taya at the mage’s tower. I don’t want to leave her alone for long.”

“Oh. Is she thinking about becoming a student?”

“Looks that way, yeah. I think it would be good for her.”

“I agree,” she replied with a nod. “One of my biggest regrets with her is that I didn’t push for you to put her in school.”

“Same. It’ll be her choice. I do kinda hope she makes it, but that’ll leave me more vulnerable to magic.”

“Then I guess you should spend more time with me!”

“Maybe. Anyway, you ready to go talk to some old people?”

“Give me a moment to put on some warm clothes.” She trotted back to her room. I grabbed the book and tucked it under an arm. Maybe I should start carrying a bag or something. Not having pockets is… OH HELL NO, I AIN’T CARRYING NO FUCKING PURSE! Twilight trotted right back out, wearing a cute parka and a scarf. “Ready when you are, Navi!”

“It would be faster to fly.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to.” I rolled my eyes and we both walked to the door. “And this way, we can keep each other warm!”

“There’s a spell for that.”

“Yep, there is. But I’d rather cuddle up close.”

“If only you were a human, then we could hold hands,” I sarcastically replied.

“Ooh, that does sound nice. We might have to try it someday. Isn’t dating the Element of Magic so convenient?”

“I think you’re letting what I said go to your head a little.” So is everyone else, for that matter.

“After what you said to my mother, we’re as close to official as we’re going to get without actually saying those words. They’ve already invited us to dinner.”

“Oh, wow. Are either of them good cooks?”

“Tch, no. They both think they are, though. Thankfully, it’s a moot point. I told them no, and will continue doing so as long as it takes for them to get the message.”

I rubbed one of the special spots on her neck. “I think it’s cute. I mean, I absolutely don’t want to do it, but it sounds cute.”

“Of course it is. But I don’t want to do it, either. They’d make everything weird and awkward and try to get us to talk about marriage. They might also try to drag Taya there so they can meet her and dote on her. I imagine they’d pretend she was a little foal, too.”

“Alright, now that sounds adorable.”

“Yeah, but not worth the rest of it. They have it in their heads that we’re soulmates now.”

“Well, joke’s on them: I don’t have a soul. We might be clitmates, though.”

“We’ll have to rub them together next time to find out for sure.”

“If we are, can we tell your parents?”

“No.”

“Never let me have any fun…” I muttered.

She smacked me with her tail, but I don’t regret it.

Despite being forced to walk pressed against a warm and fluffy mare, we made pretty good time to the mage’s tower. There weren’t too many people out and about, since it was really cold. Honestly, I think Twilight just wanted us to be seen together, because she pulled me closer every time I tried getting some personal space. It was kinda annoying, but cute enough that I let her.

The guards gave us a token each and cast more resistance spells on us. We entered the tower as quickly as we could to get out of the cold. I was only slightly alarmed by the fact that Taya wasn’t in the entryway anymore.

The secretary was still getting chatted up by the same stallion. It seemed like she was resigned to it now, but was still happy to have us as a distraction. She led us over to the teleporter, dropped the coins in, and sent us on our way.

This time, all seven of the mages were waiting on us. “We’re glad to see you back so quickly, Lady Navarone,” the guy in red said. “And we’re even happier to see that you’ve brought Twilight Sparkle.”

“And a big-ass book,” I said, holding it up.

“It’s good to stand before the council again,” Twilight said. “Hopefully it’ll go better this time.”

“Athena’s agreed to meet with you,” I said. “She told us that only three people can enter the book at a time. And if anyone enters without one of us, you’ll be forced to fight your way in. She would also be extremely interested in speaking with whoever is in the other book you have.”

“Excellent,” the head honcho said. “If you would be so kind as to take two of us in, Twilight can stay here and speak with us at length about what manner of magic this Athena is capable of.”

I walked up to him and set the book on the table separating us. “So who’s going with me?” I asked.

“I believe our two oldest members should have the honor,” he said. He teleported over to my side. One of the mares joined us a moment later. “We are ready whenever you are, Lady Navarone.”

“How does it feel?” the mare nervously asked.

“Like getting grabbed by a bunch of tentacles and dragged in,” I replied. “Let’s do it.”

“Wait—” It was too late; I was already opening the book. The tentacles shot out and grabbed the three of us, then sucked us all in.

We came face to chest with the giant metal minotaur again. The mare had a hoof pressed against her chest and was gulping in air. The guy in red was looking around in wonder. Neither of them noticed Athena suddenly appearing in front of us.

“So you did bring them,” she said. The two mages immediately looked up at her. “You know, I have seen many cultures. Only one of them had powerful mages that were typically very young. All the rest send me their oldest mages. Hm. Welcome back, Navarone.”

The dudebro wearing red stepped forward and bowed. “It is an honor to meet you, Lady Athena.” She stared at the fellow in distaste.

“I didn’t know you were a noble,” I said.

“Such titles are meaningless to me,” she replied. “I require no land or obeisance.”

The guy in red straightened back up. “Ah… right. This realm is very impressive. The other book we were able to safely enter is nothing like it!”

“Each was unique,” she replied. “Was there a sign of a struggle in the other realm?”

“It appeared to be purposefully abandoned,” he said. “There weren’t that many relics or books left and it appeared to still be fairly well organized. We believe that the resident of that book may have moved to another.”

“Perhaps. What of the other book?”

“We’ve sent in three parties since it was found, around seven hundred years ago. None have returned. It was locked in a vault with our most dangerous artifacts.”

Athena’s head tilted and we all appeared under the balcony. The two mages gasped. A chair appeared behind Athena and she sat. “You risk meddling in things that you do not understand,” she said. “Celestia has hidden knowledge of real magic for a very long time. She would not be happy to find that you are speaking to me.”

“...Her destruction of knowledge was not complete,” the mare quietly said. “We knew there was something that we had forgotten, but we did not know what. With your help, we hope we can discover it again.”

“That is quite a thing to say in front of her lover,” Athena said.

“My loyalties are to me, not to Celestia,” I shot back. “As it so happens, I’m of the opinion that she needs to get knocked down a peg or two. Or five. Or thirty. I’m all for true magic returning to the world.”

“We’ll do whatever it takes,” the old stallion said. “Will you teach us?”

“I will be happy to speak to you at any time, should you return with Navarone, Twilight, or Jak,” she said. “But if you want to learn from me, you must pass my test. To become my students, you must prove that you are capable of surviving my labyrinth. If you seek to know the power that I offer, ask Navarone. She has seen some of it firsthand and has a true magic primer.”

Their eyes slowly turned to me. I shrugged. They looked back at her. “Can you give us more details about this labyrinth?” the mare asked.

“Yes.”

They waited a few more seconds before the mare gently cleared her throat. “Will you?”

“No.”

They looked back at me. I shrugged again. They sighed and returned their gazes to the main attraction. “So what will you tell us?”

“I would be willing to tell you quite a lot,” she said. “However, you would find most of it worthless. When you have completed my test, I will be happy to answer your questions about magic. Until then, you are of no use to me.”

“I’ll give you a freebie,” I said. “You remember that huge metal statue we saw when we first got in? That was made by a minotaur smith who she taught runes. The golem is fully functional and has all kinds of neat abilities. He’s working on another one now.”

“...Would he be interested in joining us at the tower?” the red one asked. I can’t believe these guys didn’t actually tell me their names. Talk about rude.

“I doubt it,” I said. “But he might not mind if you joined him at my house. All things told, you’d probably be better off fighting your way through the labyrinth and learning everything for yourself.”

“It has been some time since I have had disciples,” Athena said, scratching at her chin with the freaky hand brace thing. “Navarone and Twilight Sparkle have not been overly interested in being my hands in the real world. With some assistance, I could stretch my power once more. We could accomplish truly great things together, if you prove yourself capable learners.”

“With your knowledge, we could expand our own power,” the guy in red said. “Our spells are extremely limited. We believe what you teach us could open doors that were long thought permanently sealed.”

“Perhaps. Such alliances tend to be mutually beneficial for a time. It will make Discord take note of you, however. And those he takes note of tend to die very horrible deaths. Well, if they’re lucky.”

“The pursuit of knowledge is always risky,” he replied. “Magic is inherently dangerous. And given what happened the last time he was free, we would not escape his attention anyway.”

“As you wish.” Her eyes narrowed very slightly and the three of us were deposited back in front of the book. Her voice echoed in our heads, saying, “Do not return again until you have decided to take up my challenge or until you have the other book.”

“That’s our cue to leave,” I said, opening the book. It kicked us back out into the other room. “Like I said, ornery and unhelpful.”

They both ignored me and teleported back to their places. “This may be the most important magical find in all pony history,” the leader said, his voice full of wonder. “A living human mage who’s willing to teach us! Her power is incredible!”

“She said she would teach us?” one of the others asked.

“If we can pass her labyrinth,” the leader said. “It should be fairly simple. I will pick two of you to accompany me and we will begin preparing immediately!”

“Probably a bad idea,” I quickly interjected. They all turned glares on me. “Half the shit we ran into was immune to magic. If you go in without someone who’s capable of swinging a sword, you’re gonna get your shit kicked in. I mean, if y’all wanna die that much, that’s completely up to you. But you better let Athena talk to the dude in the other book first.”

“I’m sure that the two of you had many difficulties inside her dungeon,” he said, his tone taking several turns toward condescension. “You were, after all, unarmed and with a half-trained, impetuous unicorn.” Twilight grunted. “We are all master mages and we will be going in prepared.”

“Hey man, you do you,” I said with a shrug. “As long as you do you after you bring us that other book.”

His horn lit up and a pure white book appeared on the table next to Athena’s. That book was about twice the size of Athena’s. “This is the other book,” he said. “Go and tell her that she may speak to the other one.”

I looked over at Twilight. “Coming?”

“Happily,” she said, stepping up next to me. I opened the book with her at my side and we got got sucked in. “Ugh, those insufferable… bastards!”

“Do you even know what that word means?” I asked.

“No! But I’m angry and it probably works!”

I tousled her hair. “You’re so cute.” That put a blush on her face, but it didn’t make her smile. “Anyway, Athena, you around?”

“Always,” she whispered from right behind us. We both turned and looked to find that she was sitting on the book leading out. “I feel another book of power nearby.”

“Yep, it’s sitting right next to the table.”

“Excellent.” She looked down at Twilight. “Make our books face each other, then open them.” She slid off the book and grabbed my shoulder. “You will join me.”

“...Um. Do you know this person?”

“I have no idea who it is. I do hope he or she is friendly.” She yanked me back with a strangely powerful grip and looked at Twilight again. “Are you still here?”

“Why does Nav get to stay?” she asked.

“Because I want to show her off. The first human in eons and I saw her first!”

“Even if Discord made me?” I asked.

“Details,” Athena said, waving a hand. “Leave us, purple one.”

Twilight seemed very uncertain and looked at me for direction. All I could do was shrug. She sighed and opened the book, sending her back.

“So who are you expecting?” I asked.

“Most of the gods that you know of were the same entities across various cultures. There were generally gods of war, love, knowledge, power, death, crafting, nature, and more. I built a few books of this type for some of my fellows, but it’s possible that other cultures had the same idea. It’s probable that it will be somebody that I know, but it’s possible that it won’t. Isn’t it exciting?”

“...What if they’re hostile?”

“That’s the exciting part!”

Before I could call her a fucking idiot, the world twisted and something from the sky grabbed both of us.