The building must have once been a tall, crystal spire overlooking the plain with pride, showing every newcomer that the rule of Princess Amore was standing strong. However, years of falling snow flattened it almost completely, leaving but a pile of now-unearthed ruins.

The temperature was rather warm for Frozen North, which meant that Rough Diamond could actually stop her teeth from clattering. However, she noticed the thin layer of ice on exposed parts of her crystal coat and started to pace around to avoid freezing. This, however, caused snow to get into her metal boots, soaking the socks she’d put under her armour against the Crystal Guard regulations regarding uniforms. At least they had camo pattern, even though it was completely useless in the snow.

“I get why you’re here,” Pristine Emerald said, his breath creating a vapour around his head. “But why am I here?”

“For the same reason,” Rough Diamond replied. “To keep us away from Flurry.”

A.K. Yearling emerged from the ruins. Unlike the two guards, she didn’t seem to notice the cold. “Come with me!” she exclaimed. “I found something interesting!”

Rough Diamond and Pristine Emerald followed her into the building, slipping on the remains of mosaic on the floor and tripping over the pieces of crystal debris.

“Look!” A. K. Yearling pointed at some dark shape lying on the floor. When Rough Diamond and Pristine Emerald walked closer, they saw a frozen body of some mare in a toga, lying on the floor. It was almost perfectly preserved, staring at them with an expression of mild annoyance. There was some minor damage to the body, probably caused by the building falling apart, as well as a quite obvious spear piercing her chest.

“She must’ve been an important official of Princess Amore.” A. K. Yearling sniffed the air, looking at the broken objects in the room. “Sombra’s soldiers actually surprised her in the lavatory, it seems. But she still managed to get one before her death.” She pointed at the pile of charred bones held together by a melted armour lying in the corner.

“Great,” Pristine Emerald muttered. “Can we go home now? She’s staring into my soul.”

A.K. Yearling shook her head. “We need to transport the body to the lab without unfreezing it or else it starts to rot.”

“Just awesome.” Rough Diamond looked at the sleigh they’d pulled all the way to the ruins of Crystalia, with A. K. Yearling and her equipment. The professor refused to help them, pointing out that she’d turned seventy last Summer. “At least we don’t have to worry about the unfreezing part. Not until we reach the town.”

“Oh, you won’t have to go back to the town,” A. K. Yearling replied, smiling and reaching for her saddlebags.

“Now she’ll sacrifice us to the old gods of the Crystal Empire,” Pristine Emerald whispered into Rough Diamond’s ear.

“My lab will come to us.” A. K. Yearling grabbed some device from her saddlebags and pushed a button.

Pristine Emerald sighed. “Or she’s just crazy.”

"May be both, actually," Precious Gem replied.

Suddenly, they heard the loud, buzzing sound. A large cloud of snow appeared on the horizon and flew towards them, the buzzing growing louder.

“See? She summoned the gods to take us.” Pristine Emerald looked around and grabbed his spear.

The cloud stopped by the ruins. The snow fell, revealing a hovercraft the size of a large house. It was painted white, although some cracks in the paint revealed that it used to be khaki-coloured not a long time ago. Two large propellers were still spinning in the back of the vehicle when a ladder lowered from it.

“Hello, grandma,” said the young colt who emerged from the vehicle. “What did you find?”

“A perfectly preserved body from the old Crystal Empire era,” A. K. Yearling replied. “Get Deep Pit here and help me.”

Rough Diamond’s jaw dropped. “Where did you get that?” she asked.

“Writing books pays,” Pristine Emerald muttered. "Who'd think?"

"Not you," Rough Diamond said. "The longest thing you've ever read was a limerick someone wrote on the wall of the toilet."

A. K. Yearling chuckled. “Books and, uhh… prizes for finding some long-lost artifacts. Also, filming rights.”

“I thought the movie was a disaster?” Rough Diamond asked.

“Whenever I watch it, I wipe tears from my eyes with my cheque book.” A. K. Yearling smirked. “And don’t stand like this! Go and help me with that body!”

While Rough Diamond was on her way to become an archeologist, Flurry had more important things in mind. Her dress just got delivered – regardless of their owners’ exploits, the dresses from Rarity For You would always arrive on time.

Now, however, came the difficult part.

“No, you still sound like you’re reading it,” Sunburst said, watching as Flurry levitated his notes in front of her.

“Maybe because I’m reading it?” Flurry shrugged. “What am I supposed to sound like, then?”

“You need to make it sound natural,” Sunburst replied.

Flurry’s eye twitched, prompting Sunburst to levitate a silver tray in front of himself. “How am I supposed to make it sound natural?!” she exclaimed as a lightning struck somewhere in the background. “I’ve never in my life said something like, ‘I hope my efforts will contribute to the well-being of this community’. Why can’t I just tell that I hope we’ll have a fun time together?”

“Because you’re a princess and princesses–”

Flurry looked around to see if any guards were there. “As a princess, I command you to stop worrying about my speech.” Her eyes lit up. “That’s an order.”

Sunburst froze. “I’ll stop worrying about the speech,” he said in a mechanical voice.

“See?” Flurry smirked. “That was easy.”

“Actually, it wasn’t,” Sunburst replied, this time in his normal voice. “Your mind control and mind reading abilities can be stopped by a layer of tinfoil 0.016 millimeters thick, wrapped around the cranium. Obviously, it only works on weak minds.”

“Yes, because yours is so strong…” Flurry muttered.

“I’m taking care of you for sixteen years and I’m still alive, so I don’t complain,” Sunburst replied. “Also, I’d watch out with casual mind control. Remember what happened to Sombra? Because that’s how you get Sombra.”

“I always thought it was because ponies didn’t like crystal stairs.” Flurry shrugged.

“And then he forced them to like crystal stairs,” Sunburst replied. “You start with small things and then suddenly you find yourself overthrowing the princesses.”

Flurry chuckled. “Small things, you say?”

“Well, those things may also play a role in this,” Sunburst said. “Some say that the real cause of Princess Amore’s decline was disruption and unrest in her harem.”

“So she did have a harem!” Flurry exclaimed.

“In case anyone asks, you don’t know that from me.” Sunburst smirked. “Now, let’s get back to the speech. Just highlight the parts that seem unnatural to you and we can change them.”

“Okay,” Flurry said. “Guess we can polish it on the train.”

“We’re not taking the train,” Sunburst said. “Professor Yearling offered us her hovercraft. It’ll be faster and, from what I’ve heard, more comfortable…”

Flurry smiled. “Lots of small places to hide and, uhh... discuss speeches. And the engine noise will drown the sounds… of me practicing public speaking, yes.” She blushed. “I’ll be right back.”

She teleported out of the room, landing in the toilet near her rooms. She walked to the sink and poured some water on her face. She almost expected steam to come out of it.

“What am I doing?” she exclaimed. “Why do I keep imagining Sunburst like this…”

“For starters, you should stop teleporting into toilets,” Rough Diamond muttered from one of the stalls. Flurry heard the sound of flushing water and her friend walked out of the stall, her steps slightly stiff and shaky. "I was just reading an interesting limerick."

“What’s up?” Flurry asked, trying to sound casual.

“I think my ass has frozen off, my armour broke when I tried to take it off, and I totally didn’t hear what you said about Sunburst,” Rough Diamond replied.

“Ah, that’s go–” Flurry froze. “Wait.” She turned to Rough Diamond. “You heard it.”

“Well, of course, I was just sitting in the shithouse, minding my own business when someone teleports next to me and mentions something about imagining Sunburst rutting her senseless!” Rough Diamond rolled her eyes. “What was I supposed to do?”

“I didn’t mention rutting him senseless,” Flurry replied.

“I guessed the rest from your face.” Rough Diamond walked to the sink to wash her hooves. “See? I don’t need fancy mind tricks to know what you’re thinking about.”

“Okay, let’s assume I have some strange thoughts about him…” Flurry said. “What would you do?”

“Think that he could be my father and find myself a fi– colt my age.” Rough Diamond shrugged. “There’s what, a few thousand ponies in the Empire, right? After you eliminate most mares, everypony too young or too old, those that are too ugly or too dumb, those who are in the scouting detachments and prefer their own company, and, of course, that one creep who is into goats, then you still have–” She furrowed her eyebrows, making the calculations. “Okay, on a second thought Sunburst is not that bad.”

“See?” Flurry sighed. “What am I supposed to do?”

Rough Diamond pointed at the stall. “Go there, beat around the bush for a while and if you still like him after you’re done, then go for it.”

“I’d rather not blow up the door again,” Flurry muttered. “I guess I’ll be in my bedroom, then.”

She focused to teleport, but before she could do that, the door burst open and Precious Gem walked in.

Rough Diamond rolled her eyes. “This is a big castle. Why does everypony go to the same shitter as me?”

“I’m just visiting,” Precious Gem replied and turned to Flurry. “So, I’ve heard you’re going to Ponyville.”

“Well, it’s an official visit, so–”

“Can I go with you?” Precious Gem asked. “Princess Twilight owns a few rare books I’d like to look at.”

Flurry shrugged. “Well, I think my parents decide who goes and–”

“Please, I have to go there!” Precious Gem exclaimed, embracing Flurry’s legs. The smell of her coat was enough to get contact buzz, so Flurry backpedalled.

“Ask my mom,” Flurry said. “I’m pretty sure she’ll be glad to help you with research. I can tell her a word too.”

Precious Gem smiled. “Thank you!” she exclaimed. “That’d be, like, great!” She kissed Flurry’s cheek and ran off.

“What the hell was that?” Rough Diamond asked.

“I don’t know, but I almost offered her sexual favours in exchange,” Flurry replied. “And it’s your fault.”

“Hey, I’m not turning ponies gay!” Rough Diamond exclaimed. “Except of scouts, but they’re already a bundle of sticks.”

“Obviously,” Flurry replied. “And now I’m off to my bedroom. Princess duties.” With these words, she teleported away.

Cadance yawned. The day was getting rather hectic, even without the junior librarian suddenly bursting out of the closet and asking if she could go to Ponyville. Cadance agreed on a reflex. She didn’t quite expect a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but she guessed some ponies just loved their princess so much.

And now there was the hovercraft. Cadance would much prefer to take the train; it was big and comfortable, with a fully functional kitchen in one of the carriages. The hum of its wheels was soothing and she could sleep in it as well as in her own bed. However, when Shining realised that he had one in a lifetime opportunity to ride in Daring Do’s hovercraft, he couldn’t resist to ask A.K. Yearling to give them a lift.

And so she was, sitting in a cramped room and watching the waves below them. She thought she’d have to stop doing that; she felt a bit nauseous.

She got up and straightened her wings, deciding to take a short walk. The deck of the hovercraft wasn’t exactly the most interesting place in the world, but it was still better than her room.

Cadance barely managed to get out of the cabin when someone ran into her, bouncing off of her flank and dropping on the deck. She only shrugged, looking down and seeing Sunburst trying to untangle his cape which, as Cadance noticed, was completely soaked in water. She shook her head and lifted him with her magic.

“Thank you.” Sunburst put on his glasses and blinked. “Your highness! It’s you!”

“Well, of course,” Cadance muttered. “Don’t bother apologising, I’m used to ponies bumping into me as of late. What happened?”

“Your daughter,” Sunburst replied.

“Again?” Cadance sighed. “What is it this time?”

“She’s acting a bit... weird.” Sunburst shrugged.

“Weirder than usual, you mean?” Cadance asked.

Sunburst responded with a slow nod. “Well…”

Of all the places, the stern of the hovercraft must’ve been the worst. The deck there was constantly going up and down and the propellers were making wind blow, threatening to rip Sunburst’s cape off of him. What was worse, the hovercraft was now going down the river, which meant the water kept pouring on him.

Flurry, however, didn’t seem to mind. She held the railing, her eyes closed and her wings spread. “I’m flying!” she exclaimed.

“You can fly just fine,” Sunburst muttered. “And in some dry place. Get back to the cabin before you catch cold. We’re still not done renovating the west wing after the last one.”

“Oh, come on!” Flurry lit her horn, pulling Sunburst towards herself. “Do you want to fly too?”

“I’d rather not…”

“Do you trust me?” Flurry asked.

“Umm…” Sunburst backpedalled, but Flurry embraced him, yanking him closer to the railing.

“Come on!” she exclaimed. “Show me the whole new world or something!”

“Are you alright, princess?” Sunburst asked. “I mean, I don’t think this hovercraft ride is good for your health. You’re getting quite excited and–” He was abruptly cut off when Flurry kissed him.

Sunburst froze. It had nothing to do with water pouring on them. Then he broke the kiss and turned back, opting for a tactical retreat.

Flurry sighed and shook her head. “Oh, come on!”

Cadance nodded. “Okay, this is not completely unexpected.”

“It’s not?” Sunburst asked. “I mean, I was supposed to–”

“Teacher crush. Typical,” Cadance replied. “Trust me, I’m an expert on that.”

“How–”

“Princess of Love.” Cadance rolled her eyes. “I think that’s what they call me. Also, apparently even Celestia had a crush on Starswirl the Bearded. Don’t worry, she’ll get over it in a week or so.”

“Are you sure?” Sunburst asked. “She seemed pretty serious about it.”

“She’s sixteen.” Cadance smiled. “At least it’s you and not some pompous fool. At least you won’t leave her heartbroken, right?”

Sunburst froze. The princesses had this effect on ponies – especially Sunburst. “Me? Her? H-heartbroken?”

“Cheer up,” Cadance said. “Maybe you’ll even find it fun. Or at least my daughter may teach you something. Like getting rid of some of your more annoying habits which, of course, are not a problem at all, but–”

“What habits?” Sunburst asked.

“Asking too many questions, for example.” Cadance sighed. “Come on, Sunburst. We have a long way to Ponyville. Go to my daughter and be polite. Maybe you should discuss literature? I’ve heard from professor Yearling that she has some talent.”

“Oh, she sure does,” Sunburst muttered. “Precious Gem told me she’s working on a romance novel involving royal guards or something.”

“See?” Cadance patted Sunburst’s back. “It’s gonna be fine.”

Despite Cadance’s assurances, Sunburst decided that the safest option was spending the rest of the cruise hiding in the bilge. It didn’t quite work as planned; one of professor Yearling’s sidekicks found him and, since he was soaked in water and oil, as well as covered in barnacles, dragged him to the bathroom.

Even though the hovercraft was generally cramped and poorly maintained, the bathroom, belonging to professor Yearling herself, was a work of art. Somehow, despite limited space, someone managed to put a hot tub the size of a small swimming pool there, complete with a sauna, some showers, and a professional masseuse, a huge, muscular mare with an accent, who was rather disappointed by the fact that Sunburst didn’t have wings.

“Vings are mein specialty,” she said. “I’m putting professor Yearling’s vings togezher all ze time. But at least zey didn’t complain.” She pointed at Precious Gem and Flash Sentry, who were currently sitting in the hot tub. Flash kept rubbing his wings with his hooves and eyeing Precious Gem unsurely. When he saw Sunburst, he sat straight and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Nice to see you,” he said in a cold tone. “Precious Gem just told me an interesting story about you and the princess…”

Precious Gem opened one eye. “Oh, there you are, dude. Flurry is looking for you everywhere, you magnificent beast. Not cool, leaving her like that.”

“We’re not a thing!” Sunburst exclaimed. “And we won’t be, even if Cadance wants me to!”

Flash raised his eyebrows. “Wait, Cadance? She’s a part of it too?”

“Yes, but she hopes Flurry will get over it in a week!” Sunburst groaned. “And for the record, I’m not the one sitting in a hot tub with a teenager!”

Flash lowered his voice to a whisper. “That masseuse put us here. It’s really hard to say no to her.” He looked around to make sure the masseuse wasn’t within earshot. “Try to break free and she’ll break you.”

“Just great,” Sunburst whispered back. “At least the princess isn’t here.”

Suddenly, the door opened and Flurry came in, followed by Rough Diamond. “I came for the wing massage!” she exclaimed.

“Hey, a hot tub!” Rough Diamond exclaimed. “And I see Precious Gem already took the best place.”

“Yeah, and I found Sunburst.” Precious Gem looked around, only to find out that Sunburst was trying to either hide underwater or drown himself in the hot tub. “Get out, dude,” she muttered. “The princess is here.”

Since Sunburst didn’t respond, Precious Gem unceremoniously dragged his head out of the water with her wing. Flurry and Rough Diamond took their places in the hot tub, despite Flash rolling his eyes and Sunburst trying to drown himself again.

“Let’s face it,” Flash said, getting Sunburst out of the water. “If someone takes a photo of us and it leaks to the papers, we’ll both get reassigned to the border with Yakyakistan. So enjoy hot water while you still can.”

Sunburst sighed, watching as Flurry splashed water on Rough Diamond. “I just want this trip to end…”

The masseuse walked to them with the camera. “Smile, please!” she exclaimed.

Author's Notes:

The only pony Cadance constantly expects to burst out of the closet is Rough Diamond. Also, when Flurry asks Sunburst if he trusts her, I almost had him say, "well, yes, but actually no".