Twixie Shorts

by Philosopher01

Chapter 1: A Night On The Town

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A Night On The Town

''I don't know guys, I was planning on getting through a lot of reading tonight,'' Twilight complained.

''Just like every other night,'' Trixie sneered in reply.

''It's not a request Twilight, it's a demand, your coming out with us to get hammered,'' Rainbow explained, folding her front hooves across her chest as she hovered above the unicorn, a saddlebag hanging from her back.

Twilight sighed and looked down at her book longingly. She thought back to a time when she was able to read books in peace, before her supposed 'mentor' suggested she go and make friends. Now she had no time to learn with all these demands. Some teacher she thought dryly to herself, choosing to ignore the fact that her friendship had saved Equestria numerous times over. Right now she wasn't in the mood for logic. She was sitting at her reading desk in the library, flanked on either side by a pushy blue unicorn and a blunt blue pegasus. The artistry of the scene did not make it any less irritating.

''What is it you want to do exactly?'' Twilight asked again.

''We're going to the club, you know, the only one in Ponyville? The one that you have somehow managed to never enter despite living here for nearly two years now,'' Rainbow replied, giving Twilight a look that seemed to resemble disgust.

''I just don't think I'd enjoy a place like that,'' Twilight responded weakly.

''How can you know if you've never tried it?'' Rainbow grinned.

''Because... I just don't think I would...''

''Hah! Has the all knowing Twilight been bested in a battle of logic?'' Trixie laughed

''I would have thought my marefriend is supposed to stand up for me when I'm being bullied?'' Twilight enquired, turning to the grinning azure unicorn.

''True, but I also stand up for fun, and in this case you're getting in the way of it,'' Trixie explained.

Twilight slammed her book closed in frustration. She then sighed, realising she was getting huffy over nothing. ''Fine, what's the plan then?''

''The plan is to get good and tipsy here first, then head to the club!'' Rainbow announced, alighting on the floor and producing two large bottles from her saddlebag.

''What are those?'' Twilight asked.

''This baby is a litre of sweet apple acres premium hard cider, a gift from Applejack,'' Rainbow explained, holding up an ornate brown glass bottle, the Apple Family's logo shaped into the glass. ''And this... is cheap vodka,'' she giggled, holding a clear glass containing an equally clear liquid.

Twilight eyed the two bottles. ''So, we're going to get drunk BEFORE going to the club?'' Twilight asked incredulously.

''Of course!'' Trixie jumped in. ''You can't expect us to spend all our bits in that place? The price for drinks in most clubs are extortionate."

''Then why bother with the club at all?'' Twilight asked.

''Well the fun part is to meet other drunk ponies!''

''But Trixie, didn't you call all the other ponies in this town hicks who aren't worth your time?'' Twilight retorted.

''Trixie ... I ... SILENCE!'' Trixie yelled, blushing at the memory of her harsh words. ''No more talking, drink!''

Twilight giggled at her marefriend. She always knew how to tie her boastful tongue. In truth Trixie had said that before returning to ponyville, but Twilight couldn't help bringing the comment back up.

''Hey, where'd Rainbow go?'' Twilight asked, looking around the library.

''I'm right here!'' the pegasus responded, gliding out from the kitchen, skilfully balancing three tall glasses between her two hooves. She floated over to the writing desk and placed them down.

''We'll start with the good stuff!'' she announced, removing the cap off the Sweet Apple Acres cider with her mouth and filling the three glasses. ''It'll make the vodka go down easier!''

The three mares then began to chat, enjoying the delicious cider and talking about everything and nothing. Twilight was surprised by the drink, it really was wonderful. It was sweet and sparkling, the fizzy bubbles tingling her tongue with each sip. The fluid left a pleasant warm feeling along her throat, and carried it through to her belly. She felt a delightful calmness by the end of the glass, and eagerly accepted a second. The sun began to set as the girls chatted, heralding the oncoming departure to the club.

''I guess we'll be leaving soon?'' Twilight asked, not feeling so hesitant after the ciders.

''No way! We've still got a couple hours until the place opens, and we haven't even cracked out the vodka yet!'' Rainbow replied excitedly. ''I'll warn ya though. this stuff isn't pretty!'' She unscrewed the cap from the bottole with her teeth. ''Hold out your glasses.''

Twilight and Trixie obeyed, extending out their empty glasses. Rainbow poured what seemed to Twilight a rather paltry amount into her tumbler. She eyed the small amount of fluid questioningly. ''Is that all?'' She asked.

''Clearly you have never tried vodka before my dear,'' Trixie observed. ''You need drink it in small amounts and fast, like this." Trixie knocked back the drink in one gulp, wincing slightly as the drink hit her mouth. ''The idea is to not taste it,'' Trixie explained.

Twilight was baffled. Why drink it if it's that bad? She shrugged and knocked back the drink anyway, her usual hesitance towards new things removed due to the cider's influence. She nearly choked when the so called 'drink' hit her throat.

''Gah! What did I just drink? Paint stripper?'' She yelled, gagging from the burning effect the horrid drink had left in her throat, her nose filled with its eye-wateringly sharp odour.

''It's probably not far from it,'' Rainbow giggled. ''This was like the cheapest stuff I could find!''

''Are you sure that stuff isn't lethal?'' Twilight gagged.

''Oh you are such an egghead,'' Trixie cooed, touching Twilight's face affectionatly. Twilight blushed at the contact and playful insult, turning to face her marefriend.

''Hey, none of that stuff until we get to the club please?'' Rainbow pleaded. ''Once I hook up with Pinkie you two can do whatever ya like.''

''Why isn't she here,'' Twilight asked.

''She's working late, she's gonna meet us at the place.''

''Fine, but I think I'll pass on the rest of that drink, you two ... enjoy it, if that's possible. I hope the club has some nicer drinks than that.'' The bookworm announced.

Rainbow rolled her eyes at her studious friend. ''Whatever, more drink for me!'' the pegasus announced happily. ''And Trixie of course, if she wants more.''

''Does an Ursa Minor live in a cave?'' Trixie replied enthusiastically.

''Umm... I dunno? What's that got to do with the drink?

''Its an expression Rainbow,'' Twilight giggled. ''Ursa's do live in caves, so since they do it means Trixie would like more drink as much as they live in caves."

Rainbow just looked dumbfounded at Twilight. She turned to the other unicorn.

''You want more booze or what?'' She asked Trixie.

''Please!'' Trixie replied simply, giggling.

Twilight observed as the two mares became increasingly less sober. She felt a little ill everytime the pair took another shot of the vile liquid, wondering how they could so happily ingest what was clearly pure poison. Although, she did have to admit she was enjoying the effects of the cider, but she couldn't stomach another taste of the cheap vodka. Eventually, Rainbow Dash raised herself shakily to her hooves.

''Letsh get going!'' She slurred, staggering to the front door.

''Woo yeah, let's party!'' Trixie agreed, throwing a hoof around Twilight's neck. Twilight staggered slightly as Trixie put a disproportionate amount of weight onto the relatively sober unicorn.

''Umm, you ok there Trix?'' Twilight asked.

''I'm great!'' she yelled. ''I'm heading out with my sexy marefriend ... what could be better?''

Twilight blushed at the compliment, half carrying Trixie to the front door. ''Well, do you think you could let some of your weight off your marefriend?'' Twilight requested.

''Oh shhure, sorry! I just love holding on to you! Everyone gets to shee the mare I bagged!'' Trixie said as she staggered to her own hooves. Twilight shook her head, giggling to herself. I hope you know what you're doing Rainbow she thought to herself.

''You two coming or what?'' the pegasus in question asked, standing by the open door. ''Get moving!''

The trio slowly made their way out of the library and towards the club, Twilight walking patiently as the other two swayed in

a narrow zig zag pattern to their destination. They arrived at the club eventually and staggered inside.

A thumping beat and blinding lights assaulted Twilight as she entered the establishment. Once inside the door movement was difficult as a crowd of ponies shuffled around holding various drinks and yelling conversations at each other.

"To the bar!" Trixie yelled, pulling Twilight with her.

"Ahm gonna go look for Pinkie!" Rainbow yelled to the pair before staggering off by herself.

Trixie haphazardly shoved her way through the crowd to the bar where she slammed a hoof down on the table to attract the attention of the barpony.

"Get Trixie a cider!" she yelled over the music. Twilight shook her head, feeling dizzy from the loud music, bright lights and stuffy atmosphere. It was truly not her scene. She squeezed her way up to Trixie.

"Umm Trixie, do you really think you ned another drink?"

"Of course! You need one too! Barkeep! Make that two ciders!"

"Trixie I don't need-"

Twilight's retort was cut short by a sloppy kiss from Trixie. She soon forgot what she was complaining about as she wrapped her hooves around the mare's waist. Two mugs of cider sat waiting for them when they finished.

"Drink up!" Trixie instructed, taking a healthy swig from the mug. Twilight obliged, enjoying the drink but noting how it pailed in comparison to the Sweet Apple Acres special brand. Still, it beat the vodka in spades.

After a few moments of drinking Twilight noticed Trixie staring into her drink.

"Trixie are you-"

"You think you're sho shmart ... Phrinshes's peht" Trixie interrupted, jabbing a hoof angrily into Twilight's chest. "Well here's something I've wanted to say to you for a long time ..." Trixie suddenly lost the angry look in her eyes, which grew wide and pleading as she grabbed Twilight's shoulders. "Am I a good performer?" Twilight rolled her eyes in response.

"Trixie ... I think you've had a little too much to drink. Maybe I should bring you home to bed"

"Oh yay bed!" Trixie yelled happily in response. "That's where we bang!"

"What!? No! You're going home to sleep!" Twilight yelled blushing, hoping the loud music drowned out the outburst.

"Uh huh! Sleep with my Twilight!"

Twilight sighed and grabbed Trixie around the neck with a hoof, pulling her away from the bar. Better find Rainbow and Pinkie and let them know we're going.

Despite the crowd she didn't have to look far to see Pinkie's bright pink coat. She was dancing with Rainbow, hooves wrapped around her marefriend.

"Hey guy's we're leaving," Twilight yelled over the music.

"But we just got here!" Rainbow complained.

"You got Trixie far too drunk Rainbow!" Twilight laughed. "You guys have fun, we're going."

"Yeah, me and Twi are going home to bang!" Trixie announced happily.

Twilight blushed furiously as Pinkie and Rainbow laughed at the announcement. She grabbed Trixie and ran.

On the journey Twilight had to support a wobbly Trixie who would not stop yelling about what they were supposedly going to do in bed once they got home. Twilight just ignored her, hoping that anyone who heard did the same.

She was overjoyed when they finally reached the front door of the library. She pushed it open eagerly, ushering the drunken mare inside. Twilight left Trixie wobbling on the ground floor while she dashed into the kitchen. She emerged levitating a glass of water.

"Drink this," Twilight ordered Trixie, hovering the drink before her mouth. Trixie gulped it down thirstily.

"Now, bed!" Twilight ordered, ushering her upstairs. Trixe slumped in the bed like a sack of bricks. Twilight crawled in beside her, turning out the light's with her magic. She closed her eyes, happy to escape the exhaustion of the night. Unfortunatly, Trixie had other plans.

Twilight felt hooves wrap around her torso in the dark. She could just make out Trixie's sillhouete in the dim moonlight from the window. She mounted herself over Twilight, standing above her and looking down.

"Trixie is going to show Twilight *yawn* the time of her ... *zzz*," with that, Trixie slumped down on top of Twilight, falling instantly to sleep. Twilight giggled to herself, rolling the mare over and cradling her head into her chest.

"Someone's going to have a great and powerful headache in the morning," she whispered softly, kissing her lover on the forehead.

Next Chapter: Horn Sensitivity Estimated time remaining: 23 Minutes
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