“…so then he just looks up, covered in mud up to his eyebrows, with this ridiculous grin that reminds me of one of those Labrador dogs, and says, ‘This is why I’m really not a cat person, Sunset.’”

Twilight lost it, the giggles that had carried her through most of her girlfriend’s story turning into full on laughter until she couldn't breathe right. She fell back against Sunset’s chest, sides heaving and tears of mirth streaming down her cheeks. Something inside her relented at the laughter, a painful tension that had been knotting her up all day, that had nearly made it impossible to give her weekly progress report to her Principal without feeling dizzy and lightheaded. It was such a relief that by the time she caught her breath, not all the moisture on her face was from laughter—some were from relief.

Sunset cuddled her closer, a warm presence surrounding her while the taller girl reclined back on the pillows on the bed, Twilight seated between her outstretched legs and resting back against her chest. Sunset’s arms were wrapped around Twilight’s waist, palms pressed to her stomach over her sleep shirt. “So yeah, that's how that disaster of a ‘date’ ended. I was pretty glad, because it meant I could leave without him expecting me to kiss him. Flash is a good guy…but…I…wasn’t a fan of that part of the whole deal.”

Twilight tilted her head back to look up at her girlfriend, bringing fingers up to brush the lips that she loved to have on hers. “Did you know, when you started dating him that…well…you know?”

In response, Sunset rested her chin on Twilight’s shoulder. “It's…complicated. Like…you know how I didn’t have any real friends before we met?” At Twilight’s nod, she exhaled and pushed forward. “I…wasn’t really any better in the romance department. I just…didn’t see anyone who caught my interest—male or female was kind of irrelevant, because…it's not really about what people look like. I don’t…” she flexed a hand. “You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to kiss me, Sparky.”

That made her cheeks flush and her heart race, and the dark haired teen snuggled deeper into the embrace, absently tracing her fingers along the skin of Sunset’s forearm, thinking. “In a lot of ways, it's mutual,” she admitted quietly.

Lips pressed to her neck lightly, before that husky voice murmured in her ear, “Oh?”

“I…mean, I’ve known I liked girls for a long time—with Cadence as a sister, it's…pretty hard to be in the dark about human sexuality, or about my attraction to the female form. But…while I might’ve had fantasies, or indulged in crushes on fictional female characters…I never actually found any real life girls that I really wanted like that…” Twilight turned her head so she could brush her lips to Sunset’s, smiling. “And now? I can't imagine wanting to kiss anyone else.”

Sunset pressed in closer, covering Twilight’s mouth with her own for one of those kisses that left the lavender skinned girl weak in the knees and desperately wishing that the hand on her stomach would slide under the shirt fabric. She made a soft sound of encouragement in her throat, shifted so her shirt tugged up a few inches, but other than those calloused fingertips brushing along the exposed skin, Sunset didn’t take the bait. She remained frustratingly polite and PG rated in the way she held Twilight. There was no doubt in Twilight’s mind that her girlfriend desired more—the sheer number of heated make-out sessions that they’d halted because that physical desire threatened to get out of control was well into double digits now—but whatever it was that made Sunset hesitant to go further with physical intimacy was firmly a boundary, one Twilight had no idea if and when the older girl might change. She was determined to stick to her promise to go at Sunset’s pace, but when she kissed her like that it was hard not to wish Sunset would just—

The burning need for air and Sunset pulling back so they could catch their breath derailed her thoughts from a very dangerous route. “…like that especially…” she managed, knowing the expression on her face could probably best be classified as ‘dreamy.’

Sunset chuckled, nuzzling her nose against Twilight’s jaw. “Nerd,” she murmured affectionately, gaining a soft hum in reply.

They lay there for a long time in relative silence, exchanging light kisses and sharing body heat under the thick winter blankets on Twilight’s bed, occasionally feeding each other bits of chocolate sweetness from the plate of brownies that had come up with them as a snack.

Thoughts wandering back to the story she’d heard, Twilight giggled. “So I guess that explains why you never seemed interested when I suggested the zoo as a potential spot for an intellectual outing.”

“Oh yeah. I’d never be able to walk past that exhibit with a straight face.”

Grinning, Twilight joked, “And now, neither will I.”

A snort escaped Sunset, followed by a long silence, and then, in a quiet voice, she said, “I’m…sorry about Flash getting sprung on you like that. I had no idea he’d be at the bookstore…”

“Sunny, it's fine,” Twilight reassured, kissing her cheek. “Flash seems like a really nice friend and good person and it was nice to meet him.”

The redhead’s arms tightened. “I’m glad. Got a little worried when he was just there, and I had no warning. I thought you might be upset..?”

Twilight felt her lips pull into a frown. “I have been a little stressed and out of sorts the last few weeks…this project is huge, Sunny, but I keep running into snags. I’m on my third iteration of a device to track and analyze the anomalous energy readings, and I keep getting taken to random locations—or to places near your school. Are you sure you haven’t noticed anything strange?”

Her girlfriend was silent for a long time, and Twilight took it to mean she was sorting through recent events at her school. Finally, she answered, “I haven’t seen anything I would classify as…strange. It’s a bit crazy, because everyone is hyped over it being a Friendship Games year—they really want to have a shot at beating CPA and not just…” A shrug that Twilight could feel suggested Sunset was not particularly invested in the school rivalry. “…not just getting stomped all over. But there’s nothing recently that’s happening that isn’t in line with the rest of the year.”

She sighed, slumping a little. “I’m just…having a harder time with this than I thought. It feels like someone is toying with me, these readings popping up in random places, with no discernible source or even anything in common with each other.” And it was driving her crazy—there was no pattern she could discern, not even a radius based one hinting at a central location, at least not a helpful one. Just a bunch of places in the greater Canterlot area, sometimes miles apart. One had even taken her out towards a rural stretch of road, something she was unable to really pursue further because the city buses didn’t go further and she was too young to have a license.

Sunset’s hands moved to hug her tight. “Hey,” the taller girl said, having picked up on Twilight’s despondency. “Talk to me, Sparky. How can I help? Maybe I could double check your readings and devices, see if I can come up with anything?”

Silence stretched between them as the dark haired teen weighed how to answer Sunset. On one hand, she valued Sunset’s sharp intellect and keen perceptions, and the older girl had shown in some of their weekend projects that she had a knack for machines and engineering. Letting her have a look at the energy detector and scanning device could prove helpful…

Yet she hesitated, her voice dying in her throat as something her principal had said at one of her progress report meetings swam to the forefront of her mind. “You must take care, Miss Sparkle. Your work here is quite important and there are a great many unscrupulous individuals who will appropriate your findings to claim them as their own. It would be wise for you to take care of just who you place your trust in.” Twilight found herself hearing those crisp tones as she mulled over a niggling, bothersome sense that Sunset’s comments about her school did not match the data Twilight had already collected. Every piece of evidence said the energy manifestations came with some kind of visible phenomena, and affected electronic equipment. Surely with readings as consistent as they were around Canterlot High, someone at the school would have noticed an issue with their computers or science equipment or even their cell phones…right? So was Twilight’s scanner more faulty than she thought? Or…was Sunset not telling her the truth? The other girl had solved the math equation that let her track the data, claiming she’d seen its like on secret documents held by her guardian, and she’d also been really insistent that Twilight take care or avoid studying the energy all together—what if there was a greater reason for that beyond an angry encounter with an abusive guardian?

Something deep inside pushed back with an anger that surprised her, anger at even the entertainment of the idea that Sunset was doing something so manipulative and petty. It was Sunset, her Sunny, her best friend…the girl who knew her even better than even her parents did these days. If there was one person in the whole world she trusted above all others, it was Sunset Shimmer, and she felt disgusted at herself for even considering otherwise.

Still… another part of her whispered in her mind, …if Sunset helps you and solves the problem…then did you really earn your accolades for it? What happens if someone asks questions you can't answer?

Twilight frowned, brows pinching together, which prompted a soothing, if distant touch from warm hands massaging her shoulders. After all she’d done lately to try to prove her maturity, her ability to succeed without her parents holding her hand or clearing obstacles, and if she turned around and had Sunset help her…was she just trading one crutch for another? Was it really showing she was capable of doing things for herself, that she had what it took to survive in academic fields where there was intense pressure and fierce competition?

Gentle fingers moved from her shoulder to her neck, tipping her head back to meet concerned blue-green eyes, an act that snapped her out of her thoughts. “Hey…” Sunset murmured softly. “You okay in there, Sparky? You don't usually take this long to think something over.”

Exhaling slowly, Twilight turned her head so she could kiss Sunset’s wrist. “I’m sorry, Sunset…I was…thinking…about how I wanted to answer your query.”

A faint hint of a crooked smile crossed Sunset’s features, and she brushed a thumb over Twilight’s cheek. “Did you come to a conclusive answer, or should I wait for your brain to finish running the diagnostic, nerd?”

She could feel her cheeks heat. “It…is a complicated situation,” she replied. “Not something I could easily come to an answer about.”

Sunset nuzzled her nose into dark hair with a soft hum. “Okay…do I get to hear the answer you reached?”

“You do.” Twilight took a breath. “I…appreciate your offer, Sunny, really…I know how smart and clever you are, so please don't take this wrong, but I think…” She took a shaky breath to calm the spike of anxiety that went through her. “…I think I need to do this on my own.”

Another soft sound, and those arms were hugging her again. “Can I ask why, at least?”

She gave a nod. “I…I need to know I can stand on my own, handle the pressures of the field I want to go into…and more than that…I…it needs to be my project. It’d be different if it was a joint project, if we were lab partners, but…” Words failed her, and she faltered, looking back at her girlfriend with the worry that Sunset might be upset.

Instead she found an understanding smile. “Hey…I get it, Sparky.”

Do you? Twilight wondered bitterly, thinking about the twinge of suspicion she’d felt.

“Oh yeah. Used to go to a place like your school, remember? The pressure, the paranoia that somepo—someone—especially someone you think you can trust—might take your work, that if you don’t perform to the standards you set for yourself everyone will know…the way you have all these expectations to meet, and you don't want to fail, and even asking for help feels like you failed?” A wry expression crossed her face. “I get it, just like I get wanting to prove to yourself that you are everything you want to be. I was that way for a long time…and I still am, in a lot of ways. I don't like losing—it tends to make me a little crazy.”

Confusion made Twilight’s response slow—had she inadvertently spoken aloud? She didn’t think she had, but she must’ve. “…I…guess you do. Get it, I mean.” She bit her lip. “You’re not…mad, are you?”

Lips brushed her forehead. “Nope. Like I said, I understand. Just…if you change your mind or if you feel like you're in over your head with it…remember that I'm here to help. That’s what best friends are for—something you taught me.”

Settling once more against her girlfriend’s warm torso, Twilight fell quiet and contemplative for a long minute. Her mind was filled with snippets of thoughts and perceptions that she couldn't quite manage to assemble into a complete idea—every time she tried to put the pieces together like a puzzle, they twisted back in on themselves into a new shape. More data was needed, she decided, and cleared her throat softly. “You’ve mentioned that before—going to a school like mine, from before you ran away—is Canterlot High really so different from it?”

Now that the words were out, she found herself wondering about the answer. How different was CHS from the schools she had known? Sunset didn't seem to worry about her classmates there stealing her work or projects, or competing viciously enough to go as far as sabotaging each other…or at least, she assumed the older girl didn't have to, given her mentioning it happening at her old school, but only really bringing up her own unpleasant history or the spate of bullying she went through after her fall from the peak of the school’s popular crowd.

The answer was spoken in an equally soft voice close to her ear. “Like night and day, really,” Sunset murmured. “So many things are…just different. Better, in a lot of ways.” Fiery hair tickled Twilight’s neck and shoulders as she shook her head. “People there..care. They treat each other like people. Friends. We help each other out, learn from each other. Like the group tutoring we’ve put together on Wednesdays—it started as me helping Flash and my friend Rainbow in math. Every week though, it's a few more people, and they're getting help with where they’re struggling but helping others in areas they're good at.” A low sigh of hot air across her ear made her shiver. “It’s nice…being in a place where it's not all pulling each other down to make yourself look better…I feel bad, sometimes, because I tried to destroy all that…and I’m really glad they stopped me.”

The arms around Twilight tightened, emotion leaking into Sunset’s voice. “I wouldn’t go back now…even if I could.”

Even as something in Twilight was moved by the picture her girlfriend’s words were painting, this enchanting image of a school like nothing she’d ever experienced, some other part of her pushed it violently away, rejecting it as almost too good to be true, a fleeting dream at best. After all, this was the same school of students who had spent most of the fall bullying and abusing her Sunny. Almost unconsciously, she found herself reciting words from the research on Crystal Prep that she’d done before submitting her application to the school.

Sunset hummed thoughtfully. “Eloquently worded, but…is it really true? All that effort to paint the school and its students as perfect and far superior to the average teenager…I remember the same kind of rhetoric from CSGU, and I also remember what the reality was for any individual who didn't conform to what they thought you should be like.”

Twilight felt something twist in her stomach, the truth in Sunset’s words unsettling her in ways she couldn't articulate. Breathing slowly, she replied with the same words she often used to remind herself when the other students at her school were at their most vicious. “…perhaps I am more non-conforming than the average high schooler is capable of accepting. It is not arrogance to say I already out-perform my existing classmates at CPA to a degree which they are unable to rationally accept or cope with, so I can only imagine what it would be like at a regular school that isn't designed for everyone to be in an advanced curriculum. And for all it…can be upsetting at times, I cannot fault them for reacting in a manner indicative of their age and maturity level. That would be, for all intents and purposes, like ‘getting mad at a cat for being a cat.’”

Sunset’s sharp, derisive snort shook her body physically with the vibration it sent through her chest as much or more as it startled her mentally—she hadn't expected the response to be so…blunt and visceral. The puff of heated air from her girlfriend’s breath ghosted over her neck, and her innards shivered in subconscious reaction despite how uncomfortable the conversation was becoming.

“Twilight, that’s a complete and utter load of steaming, sun-baked, mouldering horseapples, and we both know it. Who ever convinced you of that line deserves a mule’s kick right where the sun refuses to shine.” A low, odd growl escaped from the older girl’s throat. “Look, you’d agree that on an intellectual and academic front, you and I are reasonably comparable enough to be considered equals, right?”

Nodding, Twilight pushed some of her dark hair back, out of her face, before her hands twisted together to help her bleed off her anxiety. “I…given the observational and anecdotal evidence, I would be willing to concede that in this case, though it would take some actual, measurable tests with scores we could compare to judge accurately. Still, in areas of science and mathematics, we are comparable in our knowledge and capabilities, though our approaches are decidedly different.” She breathed in and out, taking time to further compose her thoughts. “One of my favorite things about our relationship is that you challenge and engage me mentally, and because of your high intelligence, I find I very rarely need to translate my thoughts into a format that you are capable of comprehending in conversation.”

Lips pressed soft kisses to the spot where neck and shoulder met. “I’m not saying this to bring you down or sound arrogant, but the fact is that both of us are far ahead of our age-mates in our schools, and sit close to the top of our class rankings…but for all of that, even at my worst moments in CHS, both as the bully and as the bullied…no one at the school has ever suggested that it was at all acceptable for anyone to bully a person because they did better than you in a class. If anything, it's the opposite—even when I ran things there, I knew there were lines I couldn't cross because the Principal and Vice Principal would tear me apart. And when they found out what was happening to me, they were just as swift to come down on the people doing it. If they ever got an inkling of a teacher saying stuff like that? I’d bet a sack of diamonds that the ink wouldn’t even be dry on their termination notice before they found themselves on the sidewalk outside.”

Tucked into Sunset’s warm, soft body and embrace, Twilight wrestled against what even she could tell was an almost irrational want to leap to the defense of her school, her principal, and her teachers…she had no desire to get into an argument over something that didn't really matter in the long run. She was already most of the way through high school; at this point changing schools would be a hindrance not a boon. So the dark haired girl pushed the ugly words down with a frustrated sound.

“Sparky? You’re all tense and wound up now—what’s wrong?” Sunset moved a hand from her waist up to across her shoulders and collarbone. “Talk to me.” Genuine concern filled the now alert voice.

Now that the thoughts had been pushed away and the thread of conversation broken, Twilight could put the words together she needed to. “I…I am…discomforted by the points you’ve raised, but I feel this whole topic is something I need time to think over alone, when I am less under pressure from all sides. My mother is still advocating that I consider transferring, and I…need time to weigh the situation without the expectation of someone wanting a response looming over me.” She let out a shaky breath. “Is…that okay?”

Those arms hugged tighter, before warm hands found her shoulders and began to rub soothingly, transferring their heat into a body that felt more than a little chilled. “Of course, Sparky…I didn't mean to upset you,” came the tickling whisper against her ear, before her girlfriend began to hum, a soft pretty little song that seemed to be her go to when she was offering comfort to Twilight. It let the younger girl just drift for a little while, feeling the cold that had frozen her inside melt away in favor of the contentment that just being wrapped in Sunset’s arms created.

The silence between them stretched on companionably for several minutes, broken only by the rich musical tones of Sunset’s humming. Finally, even that petered out for a double handful of heartbeats into comfortable quiet.

At last, the redhead broke it, after Twilight had gone completely limp in the embrace. “Want me to go raid the fridge for leftover chocolate cake and some ice cream?”

Drowsily, Twilight considered her choices. “Hmmm…chocolate cake versus keeping you here as my pillow and heater…hmmm…you arent making this easy on me, Sunset Shimmer.”

That earned a laugh. “I’m so sorry, Twilight, but I can’t just levitate the cake out of the fridge and up the stairs with my mind.” Sunset kissed her close to her ear. “If I could, I would, because I’m pretty happy to have you all to myself like this.” The fingers on her shoulder wandered in to her throat, tracing up and along Twilight’s jawline in a featherlight caress, before they tucked some dark hair behind one ear.

Breath hitching now for an entirely different reason, Twilight licked her lips “I think…I think the chocolate cake wins…after all, it was an exceptionally good dessert you brought this week…. ” she murmured, twisting around so she was kneeling between Sunset’s legs, seeing a grin on the other girl’s face as Twilight leaned in to brush their lips together. “…especially if you bring up the chocolate syrup to go with the ice cream…”

A light went on in blue-green eyes as Sunset clued in on what Twilight was hinting at, and she scrambled off the bed in a hurry to get the requested items. “I’ll be quick,” she promised, tweaking Twilight’s nose playfully. “…chocolate flavored nerd sounds like an even better dessert than cake…and a great way to spend my time before bed.”

It was some indeterminate amount of time later, long after dessert had been reduced to a sticky memory in bowls shoved carelessly to the side on the floor and to the lingering scent-taste of chocolate that was on their lips, after Twilight had finally determined after some heated and intense data collection that chocolate flavored Sunset kisses were definitely better than regular ones, that she had another idle thought tickle at her brain.

She shifted in Sunset’s arms, propping herself up on one elbow. “Dr. Soft-Spoken is going to be pleased with me at my next session…”

A crooked smile teased at Sunset’s kiss bruised lips as she let her eyes drift up to Twilight’s face from where she lay, stretched out under a shared blanket. One hand reached out to run down a lavender skinned arm. “Oh?” came the response.

Twilight smiled at the other girl, snagging amber fingers with her own hand. “After you left the office yesterday, we talked about my apprehension and difficulties with being open in regards to our relationship. One of her suggestions was to remove the sense of ‘all or nothing’ I can sometimes be prone to distilling problems into, and instead focus on it as a project with many small stages and steps.”

Sunset tugged their interlaced fingers towards her face, placing soft kisses on Twilight’s knuckles. “Okay, I can see that. So what are these stages, Sparky?”

“To start with, she proposed the idea of small things, like meeting someone you know as just your friend in a one on one fashion, then taking the time to analyze my feelings after, to determine what, if anything, about the interaction caused me anxiety.” Twilight laughed softly, feeling each of the kisses brushing her skin as a tingling warmth that made her heart beat faster. “I wasn't sure about it at the time, to be honest.”

Watching her intently, Sunset asked, “Is that why you were a little out of sorts when you came out?”

“Yeah…it had me pretty tied up in knots, even thinking about it…” the dark haired teen admitted. “…but then we bumped into your friend by accident, and it went so well that it made the idea less intimidating. I don't know if it was because it was a chance meeting, or because Flash is just really patient and relaxed, or because I didn't have time to get overwhelmed by anxiety…but…I was thinking it was a method that does seem to work.”

A gentle tug pulled Twilight back into Sunset’s arms, and her girlfriend nuzzled into her neck with one of those throaty noises that she had come to associate with Sunset being relaxed and happy. “I’m glad, Sparky…I was worried when he messaged me from the front of the store…I didn't know how it would go, and I really wanted to have my friend and my girlfriend on good terms.” She laughed into Twilight’s ear. “It was a bit nerve-wracking for me until you smiled and said hello.”

“And for what it's worth, Flash commented today that he thought you seemed really fun, and that he hopes someday you’ll be able to come to some of the group hang-outs.”

Absorbing that knowledge felt…good, and she found herself smiling for reasons beyond the way Sunset was snuggling her tightly. “I…would not be opposed to that, someday.” She breathed deep, enjoying the odor of faint shampoo, leather, and sunshine that was Sunset’s personal scent, letting loose ideas start to coalesce into something solid. Before anxiety could make her indecisive, she forged ahead, blurting out the thought before her courage was lost. “Since it went so well, what do you think about repeating the experiment, as it were, but perhaps under more controlled conditions?”

Her girlfriend lifted her head so they were almost nose to nose. “Like what?” came the curious question, carrying with it that hint of chocolate from earlier.

Twilight rested her palm against a warm cheek, before she moved to thread fingers through strands of red and gold. “I met your friend, so what do you think about an afternoon outing with myself, you…and my friend Wallflower? The girl you helped me pick out the birthday gift and the tea for?” Her voice carried a hopeful note as she searched blue-green eyes.

What she saw was a hint of playful mischief. “I could be convinced,” Sunset murmured. “Tell me about this Wallflower?”

“Well…she’s…not quite as smart as either of us, but she’s really adept with botany and horticulture…” Twilight started.

Lips teased hers. “Okay…?”

“She’s kind of quiet, but also sarcastic…”

Another kiss. “I don't mind quiet, and I’ve a been known to make a sarcastic remark at times.”

It was getting a little harder to focus with Sunset insisting on kissing her, but Twilight forged on. “Sometimes, I worry I’m not the best friend to her since I get so caught up in my work, and I also have a really hard time deciphering what she means sometimes….but she’s really nice, and I feel bad because it sounds like her parents don't have a lot of time for her. I think she’s a little lonely.”

The redheaded girl paused in her playful assault of Twilight’s lips to study her closely. “That’s…yeah, I’d be okay with meeting Wallflower, Sparky. She…sounds like a decent person, and I can understand where she’s coming from if she’s lonely. I’ve been there—surrounded by a crowd and feeling alone…it’s…it's not great.” The quiet seriousness in her voice made Twilight’s heart ache for the girl she considered her closest, dearest friend, and it must have shown on her face, because Sunset rested their foreheads together. “It's not that way since I made friends…I promise…I’m just saying that I understand.” Then she smiled. “Besides, anyone who can appreciate a pretty garden and a nice cup of tea has to be someone I can find common ground with, right?”

So, as a heads up, I'm probably going to take about six weeks off from posting for the holidays (mid november to the new year), as the holiday season is always a bit hellish around my house. It doesn't mean I'm slowing down or stopping the story by any means, lol. That's still going strong, holy shit.

(Did you know that there's a character limit on a google document? There is, and I've hit it twice now for Rubicon. The editing copy is on its THIRD google doc, haha.)

*tilts head* Anywho. Sorry. Rambling.

I'll try to not leave for the hiatus on a cliffhanger or anything. No promises, but I'll do my best.

As for this chapter...

Have some sappy fluff. And also a bit of "sexually frustrated Twilight" who would REALLY like it if her girlfriend took things further. (Not that I blame her, lol)....

And of course, the issue with Twilight trying to study the magic deepen...

What else...?

Oh, right.

I told you guys I had plans for Wallflower...those begin now, but they won't come to fruition for a very long time. You wont see that resolved until...well. Until pretty far into the second half of Rubicon, somewhere in the Arc 4-ish area.

Anyway. Hope everyone enjoyed!